Living
A helping hand
This year’s Point Foundation scholarship winners have big dreams
Pete Subkoviak (Photo courtesy of the Point Foundation)
Pete Subkoviak, from Madison, Wis., entered the world female, but never identified as anything other than male. From the age of 3, he insisted he was male. With the support of family and friends, Subkoviak began to transition, gained a second chance at life, and went after it with passion.
As an undergraduate student at the University of Wisconsin, Subkoviak spoke often about the transgender community. He interned for Sen. Russ Feingold (D-Wis.) and pursued a career working on state and federal HIV policy for the AIDS Foundation of Chicago.
Subkoviak is among 76 LGBT students awarded scholarships this year by the Point Foundation, a national group that raises money to fund scholarships for LGBT students in need due to unsupportive families. The Point Foundation began offering scholarships in 2001 and has supported hundreds of students, with 145 alumni already earning their higher education degrees. Many have gone on to pursue their life goals, including becoming doctors, lawyers and filmmakers. Alex Morse, the country’s youngest openly gay mayor, was a Point scholar.
Subkoviak used his Point scholarship for graduate school and plans to matriculate from Johns Hopkins this month and work on health care reform implementation and other policies that will expand access to health insurance.
“The Point Foundation is not just a scholarship program, but has also given me the professional guidance and emotional inspiration I need in order to achieve my academic and post-graduate aspirations,” Subkoviak says. “I really feel driven forward by the fellow scholars, the organization and all of its supporters.”
While the financial assistance that Point offers has helped him a great deal, it’s the networking and growth opportunities that have played just as important a role in his success. Each year, Point holds a leadership conference where all the scholars, alumni, staff and boards get together to share experiences, support each other and build skills.
“Last year we held the event right here in Washington D.C., and we were able to speak with successful LGBT individuals from all walks of life to hear their stories and get advice on how we might follow their path,” Subkoviak says. “The foundation has seen some tremendous growth over the past few years to the point where they can now support 76 scholars. But the need out there is huge so I hope that people continue to jump on the Point bandwagon and they can extend the opportunity to many more LGBT youth.”
One of the most important moments of his time as a Point scholar happened just a few weeks ago when Subkoviak had the opportunity to meet Tyler Clementi’s father and brother and spoke with them about the importance of their work to support LGBT youth. Clementi is the gay Rutgers University student who committed suicide after being secretly recorded during a date with another man by his roommate.
“School can be tough for anyone, but LGBT students can feel especially alone. Point really understands the need for LGBT students to have visible, overt support, and they really work to makes you feel like you have a large community right there with you, rooting for you all the way,” he says. “A few years ago, Point and the Tyler Clementi Foundation joined together to offer a scholarship in Tyler’s name—one dedicated to ending the bullying and isolation of LGBT youth in educational settings.”
With a background and interest in public policy and politics, Subkoviak is working on an innovative transgender employment program.
“As a transgender man myself, I became distressed that very few organizations were serving the community, much less appreciating the discrimination in education and employment that forces many transgender individuals into the street-based sex work and HIV risk behavior,” he says. “In 2010, I drew up the blueprint for a transgender employment program and found a partner in Chicago House and Social Service Agency. Together we built a large coalition of government officials, community leaders and transgender individuals in order to make it a reality.”
Then something interesting happened: public and foundational support for the program exploded, and the scale of the project transformed in breathtaking fashion. It’s taken some time, but this July the final product, called the TransLife Center, will be fully realized.
It will offer TransHousing, beginning with more than 30 units of housing to those who are trans and living on the streets. It will also offer TransWorks, a full-scale employment program, TransHealth with medical connections to care services, TransLegal services and TransSafe, a drop-in center where transgender individuals can get off the street to get a shower, a meal and relax in an environment that is free from discrimination.
“I think that as LGBT organizations continue to acknowledge the need to more fully integrate the ‘T’ into their work that the TransLife Center is going to offer incredibly important lessons and be looked at as a trailblazing program,” he says. “Over the long term I’m interested in authoring a book on domestic policy. I’d also like to join a rock ‘n’ roll band and run for public office—hoping that the two aren’t mutually exclusive.”
Another Point scholar is Monica Motley, a dual degree student at Virginia Tech seeking a doctorate degree in philosophy in the Department of Biomedical and Veterinary Sciences and a master’s of public health degree in the Department of Population Health Sciences.
Monica Motley (Photo courtesy Point Foundation)
“When I think about the Point Foundation, it’s really meant to me guidance, support and opportunity,” she says. “I can be exactly who I am unapologetically, but also at the same time, better ensuring that I can achieve my potential for greatness to change the world.”
In 2007, Motley was elected the first African-American homecoming queen in 35 years, as well as the first openly gay homecoming queen at Virginia Commonwealth University.
A Danville, Va., native, Motley, who came out at 16, plans to become a social scientist and public health practitioner seeking to better understand how various socioeconomic factors influence health behaviors and outcomes in high risk populations, such as the LGBT community.
“My research aims to identify and better understand different social factors—physical environment, education, income — influence our health behaviors, especially physical activity and nutrition,” she says. “I look at that in high-risk communities, communities of color, LGBTQ, individual of over 45, low-income.”
Not only does she work on the research itself, but she tries to figure out how to recruit more diverse individuals into research so that it can better prepare those as catalysts for change.
“One of the most valuable things I have taken away from Point is mentorship from people who look like me,” she says. “Not necessarily in the literal sense, but being from a small city, an African American, a woman and an out lesbian, it was really important that I was connected personally and professionally that I was connected to people who were also gay. It has helped me become more confident.”
Point Foundation’s academic/program year begins in July with a leadership conference, where past and recently awarded scholars receive intensive training in leadership development, accountability, community service guidance, and advocacy and philanthropy to the LGBT community.
“When I look at my fellow scholars, these are brilliant individuals. There’s someone who has discovered a planet. There’s someone who has won an award for documentaries. For someone to say that they need me to succeed so we can all continue this movement to achieve equality, it moves me and gets me so emotional,” Motley says. “Think of how much further along we would be if we had more people tell the generations that are our future that we are underestimating our ability for equality. That’s what the Point Foundation did for me. It’s been life changing for me.”
Advice
We’re getting married but our parents object
Will their disapproval and shortcomings derail our hopes for a happy life?
Dear Michael,
My girlfriend and I are getting married! We’re really excited, but we’ve got some big concerns as well.
All of our parents have had multiple marriages. I think 10 between the four of them. So we don’t have much in the way of role models for a successful marriage.
Also, we don’t have any parental support. Except for one of my ex-stepmothers whom I’m close to, none of our parents are happy that their daughter is getting married to another woman. That’s an understatement. Religious objections, moral objections, being angry that we’re “embarrassing them,” these are some of the things we’ve been told.
We do have some supportive siblings and step-siblings, which is great, although they’re getting pushback from parents about attending our wedding.
Given all this, what suggestions do you have for how we can make a go of our marriage? The divorce rate is over 50 percent for everyone. With all this baggage, we’re worried that we have even less of a chance. Thank you.
Michael replies:
First, congratulations!
Regarding your lack of family support: I’m sorry that you both have to deal with so much criticism, disdain, and judgment. Please don’t let your parents’ negativity influence your own views of yourselves and your relationship. Focus instead on the love and caring you will get from friends, community and the family who are present on your big day (I hope your siblings are brave enough to make it!). Being the recipients of that support is one of the sweetest parts of getting married.
Don’t worry about the high divorce rate. While some couples really shouldn’t stay married, lots of people get divorced because they don’t know what is required to have a good marriage, or don’t put in the effort to do so. That does not have to be your fate.
Similarly, your parents’ terrible track record doesn’t mean you have to repeat their marital histories. The skills to have a strong marriage are learnable.
To that end, here are the best tips I can offer the two of you:
- If you want a loving marriage, be a loving partner. Don’t snipe, sulk, or do the silent treatment when you’re mad. Unconditional love is largely a myth. Even our dogs won’t love us if we are mean to them.
- Don’t spend much time or effort focusing on what your spouse is doing wrong or how she is letting you down. Doing so leads to resentment and feeling like you’re a powerless victim. Instead, ask yourself what your own contribution is to the problem, and what you can do to make things better. You don’t have much power over your partner, but you have a lot of power over yourself.
You can certainly ask your spouse for what you’d like from her, but don’t expect to always get it. And don’t base your own wellbeing or good behavior on what your partner does or doesn’t do.
- Because any two people are always different in some important ways, there is no way that you both can always want the same things, or think the same way, or have the same priorities. Accept this! There has to be room for each of you to be an individual, not only part of a couple.
- Be generous as often as you can be, and have a boundary when it’s important for you to have one.
- When your spouse states that she has a boundary, respect it. Do not push her to back off from something that is important to her.
- Don’t keep score, including how much more you do or how often you don’t get your way. Instead, work together to have a collaborative marriage where you work together to make decisions and get things done.
- Strive not to weigh the relationship down with neediness. Once we’re grownups, it’s mainly our own job to soothe ourselves. You don’t want to burn out your partner’s empathy.
Of course you can ask for a hug, love, reassurance, support, advice, and a shoulder to cry on when you’re down. Just aim be the first person you turn to when you’re upset, and do your best to keep your own mood steady.
- Do not wait for your significant other to go first. Not on planning a date, not on apologizing, not on loading the dishwasher or cleaning the bathroom. If you wait for her to make the first move, you will have a resentful relationship where nothing good ever happens.
Keeping these principles part of your operating system, even — and especially — at those moments when your spouse isn’t doing her best, will go a long way toward helping you build and maintain a loving and happy marriage.
Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C., Maryland, Virginia, New York, and all PSYPACT states. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].
Technology
E-INFOSOL leaders encourage youth to pursue tech careers
Service-disabled, veteran-owned business based in Rockville
The technology field can be a gateway to economic mobility.
At E-INFOSOL, a service-disabled, veteran-owned business based in Rockville, Md., CEO and co-founder Fredy Pesante and Vice President of Service Delivery Charles Barnett say internships, mentorship and free online resources can help young people break into IT. The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics projects an average of 317,000 job openings per year in the field until 2034.
Led by Iraq War Army veteran Pesante, E-INFOSOL stands out for its efforts to increase opportunities for veterans, people of color and others in under-resourced communities to find careers in tech and its mental health support for employees.
Pesante and Barnett spoke with Youthcast Media Group about technology careers. The executives also talked about the value of government security clearances, stressing that the choices youth make today — including their digital footprints and personal conduct — can shape tech workforce opportunities.
The interview has been edited for clarity and length.
Can you describe what E-INFOSOL does and what your role is there?
BARNETT: We focus mainly [on] providing IT services to the federal government. And those IT services consist of cloud engineering, cloud development, cloud security, app development and cybersecurity, and a lot of infrastructure virtualization-type work. My role is [vice president] of service delivery, responsible for ensuring that we are providing great customer service to our customers [and] that we are meeting our deliverables and our requirements to our customers. But also, one of the key focuses is ensuring that our employees have the tools [and] resources to be successful, and that includes coaching, training and developing our employees, and obviously treating them like they want to be treated.
Is IT a career that can help reverse the cycle of poverty in low-income parts of the D.C. area? What more would need to be done to potentially get more youth access to the right technology and training?
BARNETT: One thing we’ve got to ensure is that we, as professionals that have been through it, that have had a lot of experience in the IT space, provide that mechanism to bring folks along with us. That is, exposing our youth to information technology at a young age. If we can show that it’s very interesting, and it’s beneficial, and if they are committed to it and they show a sense of pride and commitment, I think it works out for a lot of people that are coming up from disadvantaged communities that don’t have technology within the house and who don’t have mentors that come from the technology field.
PESANTE: I still think internships work well for high school, even college. IT certifications are still something in demand in specific areas … Charles and myself, we’re part of the Technology Advisory Board at [Montgomery College] and they offer free resources as well to give an advantage to students that don’t have a career path. So find a way to leverage those local resources that are available and try to capitalize on those. IT is such a great field because even though it’s great to have an undergraduate (degree), that is not always a full basis into having an IT career. So you could start in high school … There’s a lot of free stuff online. There’s a lot of YouTube videos. There’s so many resources. To be honest, there’s even now AI that can really teach you [and] it’s free to a certain level that you could use.
As a veteran-led company with a significant veteran workforce, how does E-INFOSOL support employee well-being and mental-health awareness?
PESANTE: Approximately 35 percent to 40 percent of our employees are veterans. Veterans often gravitate toward working with one another because we share a mission-focused mentality and a commitment to getting the job done.
Mental health has always mattered to us, but it became even more personal after we lost one of our respected leaders, a fellow veteran who had battled mental illness. I worked closely with his family to help honor his story and legacy.
That experience reinforced the importance of supporting mental health across our entire workforce. We encourage managers to maintain meaningful contact with employees, provide appropriate training, and connect people with available resources. We want our actions to match what we say about being a people-first company. Our employee retention has remained strong, and I believe the way we care for our people has contributed to that.
How does getting or having a U.S. government security clearance help? How would a young person pursue getting a security clearance, and what should they keep in mind if they plan to do so?
PESANTE: We live in a world of social media. Make sure you’re … not going to be concerned with somebody finding you on the Internet behaving a certain way. Even though, in some locations, drugs like medical marijuana and what not are considered legal, [that is] not [the case] in the federal government. The use of any substances that could be mind-altering, that’s not a thing [that’s allowed] in the federal government. Also, from a legal perspective, from a criminal background perspective, that’s something that any checkup is going to come up [with], so [make] sure that you’re behaving in a manner exemplifying honesty, reliability, sound judgment, responsible conduct, and trustworthiness. The best thing for getting clearances at that early jump is internships. We’ve been able to get people clearances through the internship process. After a person fits a specific requirement, you train them and they get a government clearance, and that helps them have a head start. When I moved out here after living in Puerto Rico and I was in the Army, I had a clearance. I was able to find a job quickly.
Any other advice for young people considering this path?
PESANTE: I would say go for it. As minorities, there are a lot of external factors we can’t control, but nobody can ever stop you if you’re great at what you do, if you have a strong work ethic and if you put a lot of effort into making the best out of yourself. It’s never too early to work on yourself and look for ways to work on your professional career, work on your soft skills… Make sure you are working with peers and surrounding yourself with the right people throughout your whole life. I had a mentor myself when I started in the business — Carlos Rivera. He’s from Puerto Rico. He was a veteran. And that always helped me out, having somebody that you want to aspire to [be].
BARNETT: Do not be afraid to fail. You know you’re going to make mistakes. People around you are going to make mistakes. Learn from it, and learn from that, and don’t allow people to impact your goals and objectives. You set your path and if you set your path, you’re going to go a very long way, and if you’re really committed and continue to establish relationships along your entire path, you’re going to reap the benefits of ensuring that you are in a position to take advantage of opportunities that are in front of you.
Joseph Jackson is in the class of 2027 at Bard High School Early College DC, one of Youthcast Media Group’s partner schools. Shreya Jyotishi, YMG Assistant Manager of Content and Programs, also worked on this story.
Remember when buying a new car didn’t require the financial stamina of a “Succession” character? This summer, the average new-vehicle price hit $49,758—basically $50,000 with a little lipstick on it. That makes the Kia K4 hatchback and Nissan Kicks especially refreshing. Neither requires a second mortgage, a trust fund or a makeover to look good. And both prove you can still buy a new vehicle without selling your soul — or your vacation plans.
KIA K4 HATCHBACK
$25,000
Mpg: 28 city/34 highway
0 to 60 mph: 9.1 seconds
Cargo space: 22.2 cu. ft.
PROS: Edgy exterior. Roomy interior. User-friendly controls.
CONS: So-so base engine. Pricy turbo. No all-wheel drive.
WHAT’S NEW: Basically everything. The K4 hatchback debuted earlier this year, joining the K4 sedan.
Kia’s stylish five-door K4 boasts three trim levels. The first two use a capable four-cylinder engine, while the top-of-the-line model comes with a turbo.
That turbo provides some genuine zip, though it won’t blow your socks off. Think Janelle Monáe in a tailored suit, not Brad Pitt arriving at the F1 racetrack in a fireproof jumpsuit.
The real star, though, is the design. Sleek. Upscale. A tad mysterious.
Inside, another surprise: vast legroom and storage. Fold the backseats and you can toss in the usual road-trip clutter, plus that regrettable piece of furniture you bought after watching one too many HGTV shows.
Technology is also a bonus, including a digital key that lets you use a smartphone or smartwatch as a direct key fob. You can even share this digital key with friends or family. Just don’t share it with anyone who often loses their actual keys.
Despite some SUV vibes, the K4 remains unapologetically car-like. It sits lower. Feels more conventional. And offers hatchback practicality without itching to conquer the Rockies.
The biggest downside? No all-wheel drive.
Still, for shoppers who crave style, space and gadgetry, the K4 won’t break the bank. To me, it’s like finding a designer jacket at a thrift shop.
NISSAN KICKS
$23,000
Mpg: 28 city/35 highway
0 to 60 mph: 8.9 seconds
Cargo space: 23.9 cubic feet
PROS: Dashing design. Safety gear galore. All-wheel drive.
CONS: Bit pokey. Noisy engine. Limited rear visibility.
WHAT’S NEW: Redesigned last year with a bit more power, bigger cabin and bold looks, Nissan leaves the winning formula alone.
Like the Kia K4, the Nissan Kicks comes in three trims levels. But it also includes all-wheel drive — a nice plus when navigating snow, sleet or cratered alleys.
There’s an extensive suite of active and passive safety features. And the high ground clearance improves driver visibility, which is somewhat hindered in the back by thick roof pillars.
Styling is tastefully flamboyant. Dramatic lighting. Two-tone finishes. Cheerful, without being cartoonish. Miranda Priestly would approve.
Power, though, is more akin to Miranda’s art director Nigel Kipling. Dependable. Functional. Just not enthusiastic.
Inside, the mod cabin has large 12.3-inch displays, wireless smartphone connectivity and charging, and “zero gravity seats” designed to reduce driver fatigue and stiffness. Add in the stunning Bose Personal Plus audio system, with 10 speakers—including those integrated into the headrests—for an immersive 360-degree sound experience.
The Kicks doesn’t try to be rugged or luxurious. It simply offers a lot of everyday usefulness in a small package.
There is a trade-off. The engine gets noisy when pushed, and there are sportier (often pricier) competitors. But that’s hardly a crime. Not every vehicle needs to perform catwalk struts down the street.
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