Connect with us

Living

A helping hand

This year’s Point Foundation scholarship winners have big dreams

Published

on

Pete Subkoviak, Point Foundation, gay news, Washington Blade

Pete Subkoviak (Photo courtesy of the Point Foundation)

Pete Subkoviak, from Madison, Wis., entered the world female, but never identified as anything other than male. From the age of 3, he insisted he was male. With the support of family and friends, Subkoviak began to transition, gained a second chance at life, and went after it with passion.

As an undergraduate student at the University of Wisconsin, Subkoviak spoke often about the transgender community. He interned for Sen. Russ Feingold (D-Wis.) and pursued a career working on state and federal HIV policy for the AIDS Foundation of Chicago.

Subkoviak is among 76 LGBT students awarded scholarships this year by the Point Foundation, a national group that raises money to fund scholarships for LGBT students in need due to unsupportive families. The Point Foundation began offering scholarships in 2001 and has supported hundreds of students, with 145 alumni already earning their higher education degrees. Many have gone on to pursue their life goals, including becoming doctors, lawyers and filmmakers. Alex Morse, the country’s youngest openly gay mayor, was a Point scholar.

Subkoviak used his Point scholarship for graduate school and plans to matriculate from Johns Hopkins this month and work on health care reform implementation and other policies that will expand access to health insurance.

“The Point Foundation is not just a scholarship program, but has also given me the professional guidance and emotional inspiration I need in order to achieve my academic and post-graduate aspirations,” Subkoviak says. “I really feel driven forward by the fellow scholars, the organization and all of its supporters.”

While the financial assistance that Point offers has helped him a great deal, it’s the networking and growth opportunities that have played just as important a role in his success. Each year, Point holds a leadership conference where all the scholars, alumni, staff and boards get together to share experiences, support each other and build skills.

“Last year we held the event right here in Washington D.C., and we were able to speak with successful LGBT individuals from all walks of life to hear their stories and get advice on how we might follow their path,” Subkoviak says. “The foundation has seen some tremendous growth over the past few years to the point where they can now support 76 scholars. But the need out there is huge so I hope that people continue to jump on the Point bandwagon and they can extend the opportunity to many more LGBT youth.”

One of the most important moments of his time as a Point scholar happened just a few weeks ago when Subkoviak had the opportunity to meet Tyler Clementi’s father and brother and spoke with them about the importance of their work to support LGBT youth. Clementi is the gay Rutgers University student who committed suicide after being secretly recorded during a date with another man by his roommate.

“School can be tough for anyone, but LGBT students can feel especially alone. Point really understands the need for LGBT students to have visible, overt support, and they really work to makes you feel like you have a large community right there with you, rooting for you all the way,” he says. “A few years ago, Point and the Tyler Clementi Foundation joined together to offer a scholarship in Tyler’s name—one dedicated to ending the bullying and isolation of LGBT youth in educational settings.”

With a background and interest in public policy and politics, Subkoviak is working on an innovative transgender employment program.

“As a transgender man myself, I became distressed that very few organizations were serving the community, much less appreciating the discrimination in education and employment that forces many transgender individuals into the street-based sex work and HIV risk behavior,” he says. “In 2010, I drew up the blueprint for a transgender employment program and found a partner in Chicago House and Social Service Agency. Together we built a large coalition of government officials, community leaders and transgender individuals in order to make it a reality.”

Then something interesting happened: public and foundational support for the program exploded, and the scale of the project transformed in breathtaking fashion. It’s taken some time, but this July the final product, called the TransLife Center, will be fully realized.

It will offer TransHousing, beginning with more than 30 units of housing to those who are trans and living on the streets. It will also offer TransWorks, a full-scale employment program, TransHealth with medical connections to care services, TransLegal services and TransSafe, a drop-in center where transgender individuals can get off the street to get a shower, a meal and relax in an environment that is free from discrimination.

“I think that as LGBT organizations continue to acknowledge the need to more fully integrate the ‘T’ into their work that the TransLife Center is going to offer incredibly important lessons and be looked at as a trailblazing program,” he says. “Over the long term I’m interested in authoring a book on domestic policy. I’d also like to join a rock ‘n’ roll band and run for public office—hoping that the two aren’t mutually exclusive.”

Another Point scholar is Monica Motley, a dual degree student at Virginia Tech seeking a doctorate degree in philosophy in the Department of Biomedical and Veterinary Sciences and a master’s of public health degree in the Department of Population Health Sciences.

Monica Motley, Point Foundation, gay news, Washington Blade

Monica Motley (Photo courtesy Point Foundation)

“When I think about the Point Foundation, it’s really meant to me guidance, support and opportunity,” she says. “I can be exactly who I am unapologetically, but also at the same time, better ensuring that I can achieve my potential for greatness to change the world.”

In 2007, Motley was elected the first African-American homecoming queen in 35 years, as well as the first openly gay homecoming queen at Virginia Commonwealth University.

A Danville, Va., native, Motley, who came out at 16, plans to become a social scientist and public health practitioner seeking to better understand how various socioeconomic factors influence health behaviors and outcomes in high risk populations, such as the LGBT community.

“My research aims to identify and better understand different social factors—physical environment, education, income — influence our health behaviors, especially physical activity and nutrition,” she says. “I look at that in high-risk communities, communities of color, LGBTQ, individual of over 45, low-income.”

Not only does she work on the research itself, but she tries to figure out how to recruit more diverse individuals into research so that it can better prepare those as catalysts for change.

“One of the most valuable things I have taken away from Point is mentorship from people who look like me,” she says. “Not necessarily in the literal sense, but being from a small city, an African American, a woman and an out lesbian, it was really important that I was connected personally and professionally that I was connected to people who were also gay. It has helped me become more confident.”

Point Foundation’s academic/program year begins in July with a leadership conference, where past and recently awarded scholars receive intensive training in leadership development, accountability, community service guidance, and advocacy and philanthropy to the LGBT community.

“When I look at my fellow scholars, these are brilliant individuals. There’s someone who has discovered a planet. There’s someone who has won an award for documentaries. For someone to say that they need me to succeed so we can all continue this movement to achieve equality, it moves me and gets me so emotional,” Motley says. “Think of how much further along we would be if we had more people tell the generations that are our future that we are underestimating our ability for equality. That’s what the Point Foundation did for me. It’s been life changing for me.”

Advertisement
FUND LGBTQ JOURNALISM
SIGN UP FOR E-BLAST

Real Estate

Factors to consider when hiring an interior designer

It’s essential to have confidence in the professionals you engage

Published

on

(Photo courtesy of StatePoint)

(StatePoint) Ready to redesign your home? Whether you have only a vague notion of how you want your spaces to look or a very specific vision, relying on the expertise of a professional can help you bring your dream home to life. Before choosing and hiring an interior designer, though, be sure to take the following factors into consideration:

Style: Identify your style. Is it boho chic? Industrial? Maximalist? Many designers have their own signature look and preferences. It’s best to understand what vibe you want first, then search for a designer who aligns with that style.

Past client projects: One of the best ways to know whether a particular designer is the right fit for you is to review their past client projects. Ask to see their portfolio or review their finished projects on their website or socials. Also, take a look at reviews and testimonials to ensure their previous customers walked away satisfied with a job well done.

Budget: Communicate your budget in advance of work to confirm that you and your designer are on the same page financially. Your decorator will need this ballpark figure to get a handle on the scope of the project and to make design decisions accordingly. You should also use this conversation to understand their rates so you can decide whether you want to move forward.

Preferred vendors: It’s important that the interior designer you choose has preferred vendors that they work with. These are partners they’ve built strong relationships with that provide the same first-rate experience they do, and have streamlined processes in place. “A home renovation has so many moving parts. That’s why we try to take the hassle out of the process for designers and homeowners alike,” says Katie Zess, senior marketing manager and director of Renewal by Andersen’s Interior Designer Loyalty Program. 

Through the loyalty program, the full-service window and door replacement division of Andersen Corporation offers their program members exclusive access and rewards, including a “designer discount” they can share with their clients. Renewal by Andersen also offers designers a dedicated point of contact to ensure a smooth process that’s customized for your project from start to finish. To learn more, visit renewalbyandersen.com.

Before you begin your home renovation, it’s essential to have confidence in the professionals you hire. Be sure your interior designer has fostered partnerships that will streamline your redesign, and that their goals and budget aligns with yours.

Continue Reading

Real Estate

The LGBTQ real estate map is being redrawn

Affordability, higher mortgage rates reshaping where we choose to call home

Published

on

LGBTQ buyers are looking beyond Palm Springs and other popular queer destinations these days when searching for a forever home. (Photo by photojohn830/Bigstock)

For decades, the map of LGBTQ+ America was relatively easy to recognize.

New York. San Francisco. Los Angeles. Palm Springs. Provincetown. Fort Lauderdale and Wilton Manors.

These communities became LGBTQ+ destinations because they offered something that wasn’t always easy to find elsewhere: visibility, acceptance, community and the freedom to live openly.

But that map is changing.

Today’s LGBTQ+ homebuyers are navigating a housing market defined by high prices, elevated mortgage rates and affordability challenges. At the same time, remote and hybrid work, retirement and the growth of LGBTQ+ communities beyond traditional destinations are giving buyers more choices about where to live.

Increasingly, the question isn’t simply, “Where are the most LGBTQ-friendly places to live?”

It’s also: “Where can I find community and afford the life I want?”

That shift may become one of the defining LGBTQ+ real estate trends of the coming decade.

Affordability Is Changing the Conversation

For many buyers, the biggest issue in today’s housing market is simple: the monthly payment.

The average 30-year fixed mortgage rate was 6.95% in mid-September, compared with 6.26% a year earlier, according to Freddie Mac.

Meanwhile, the median price of an existing U.S. home reached $429,100 in August, according to the National Association of Realtors.

The combination of elevated home prices and higher borrowing costs has changed what many Americans can afford—and where they can afford it.

Some buyers are purchasing smaller homes or condominiums. Others are moving farther from major urban centers. Still others are reconsidering expensive markets entirely.

For LGBTQ+ buyers, this is helping broaden the definition of an LGBTQ+-friendly place to call home.

LGBTQ+ Buyers Have More Choices

A generation ago, relocating away from a major city or established gay neighborhood could sometimes mean sacrificing access to a visible LGBTQ+ community.

That’s increasingly less true.

Traditional LGBTQ+ destinations such as Palm Springs, Fort Lauderdale and Wilton Manors, San Francisco, New York and Provincetown remain important centers of LGBTQ+ life. But today, LGBTQ+ buyers can also find established or growing communities in cities across the country.

Places such as Minneapolis, Columbus, Pittsburgh, Richmond, Atlanta and the Tampa Bay area are among the markets attracting buyers who may be looking for a different balance of housing costs, lifestyle and community.

The goal isn’t necessarily to find the cheapest house.

It’s to find the right combination of affordability, LGBTQ+ community, lifestyle, employment opportunities, healthcare, culture and quality of life.

Remote and hybrid work have expanded those possibilities for some buyers. If a job no longer requires being in an expensive employment center five days a week, the geographic search for a home can become considerably larger.

That can make communities that once seemed impractical suddenly worth considering.

Retirement Is Redrawing the Map, Too

Retirement is another important part of the changing LGBTQ+ real estate landscape.

As more Americans reach retirement age, LGBTQ+ retirees are considering where they want to spend the next chapter of their lives. Housing costs, taxes, healthcare, climate and proximity to airports, restaurants and cultural activities all play a role.

But LGBTQ+ retirees may have additional questions.

Will I feel comfortable living openly?

Is there an LGBTQ+ community nearby?

Can I find LGBTQ+-affirming healthcare?

Will I have opportunities to build a social network as I get older?

Those considerations can make choosing a retirement destination particularly personal.

Palm Springs and Fort Lauderdale/Wilton Manors remain well-known LGBTQ+ retirement destinations. But retirees are also exploring smaller cities and communities across the Southeast, Midwest and other regions where housing costs and lifestyles can look very different.

For many, the search is becoming less about moving to a famous gay destination and more about finding a place where community, lifestyle and affordability intersect.

Buyers Finally Have More Leverage

There is another significant change in today’s housing market: buyers have regained some negotiating power.

The National Association of Realtors reported 1.62 million existing homes for sale in August, up 5.9% from a year earlier. That represents approximately 4.9 months of housing supply, the highest level in more than a decade.

Realtor.com also reported that 20.4% of active listings had experienced a price reduction in August.

That’s a very different environment from the pandemic-era housing market, when buyers in many communities faced bidding wars, waived inspections and offers well above asking price.

Depending on the market, today’s buyer may have more time to evaluate a property and greater opportunity to negotiate price, repairs, closing costs or other concessions.

But there is an important caveat: there is no single national housing market.

Conditions can vary dramatically from one city—or even one neighborhood—to another. Some markets remain competitive, while others have considerably more inventory and negotiating room.

That’s one reason local expertise matters.

Sellers Need a Different Strategy

The changing market also has implications for LGBTQ+ homeowners considering selling.

Strategies that worked several years ago may not work today.

Buyers are highly sensitive to monthly payments, and an overpriced home can quickly be passed over when competing properties are available.

Sellers should pay close attention not only to recent comparable sales but also to homes currently competing for the same buyer.

Condition matters, too.

Repairs, landscaping, staging and professional photography can make a meaningful difference when buyers have more choices. Pricing correctly from the beginning has also become increasingly important.

More Than 30 Years Serving the LGBTQ+ Community

One part of buying or selling a home hasn’t changed: the importance of working with a real estate professional who understands your priorities.

For more than 30 years, GayRealEstate.com has served the LGBTQ+ community, connecting buyers and sellers with LGBTQ+ and allied real estate professionals throughout the United States.

Over that time, the GayRealEstate.com network has supported more than $2 billion in real estate sales and more than 55,000 transactions.

Behind those numbers are thousands of people making one of life’s most personal decisions: where to call home.

For LGBTQ+ buyers, that conversation can involve much more than bedrooms, bathrooms and price per square foot. It can include community, acceptance, healthcare, family, retirement, lifestyle and the ability to live openly.

An experienced LGBTQ+ or allied real estate professional can understand why those considerations belong in the real estate conversation.

Finding Home in a Changing America

The 2026 housing market presents real challenges.

Mortgage rates remain elevated. Home prices are high. Affordability continues to strain buyers across much of the country.

But there are also signs of a more balanced market. Inventory has increased. Price reductions have become more common. Buyers in many markets have regained negotiating power.

And for LGBTQ+ Americans, something else has changed: there are more places to consider calling home.

The next great LGBTQ+ destination doesn’t necessarily need the country’s largest Pride celebration or its most famous gay neighborhood.

It could be a smaller city with a growing LGBTQ+ community, attainable housing, good healthcare, strong cultural amenities and a quality of life that leaves room for travel, retirement or simply enjoying the home you’ve worked hard to own.

Ultimately, today’s LGBTQ+ real estate search increasingly comes down to three questions:

Where can I afford the life I want?

Where will I find my community?

And where will I feel at home?

The answers are becoming more varied—and that’s helping redraw the map of LGBTQ+ America.


Scott Helms is with GayRealEstate.com.

GayRealEstate.com has served the LGBTQ+ community for more than 30 years, connecting LGBTQ+ homebuyers and sellers with LGBTQ+ and allied real estate professionals across the United States. Its network has supported more than $2 billion in real estate sales and more than 55,000 transactions.

Continue Reading

Advice

I’m 66, he’s 27. Is it love or am I being played?

What to do when your friends don’t trust your boyfriend

Published

on

Dear Michael,

I’m 66, Peter is 27. I’m retired, financially comfortable. He’s a grad student.

We met last summer at the beach and started dating. Now we’re living together. I want this to be forever, and Peter says he does too.

The problem: Some of my friends are telling me that Peter is taking me for a ride.

I know all the cliches about older gay men thinking they’re in a loving relationship when the truth is they’re just some young guy’s sugar daddy. But I don’t feel old. And I think I have a grip on reality. 

I do support Peter financially now, but he is eventually going to have a job. And if I didn’t pay for things, there’s no way he could share my life in terms of travel, dining out, etc. I want to have fun with him and am happy to foot the bill. 

My friends say there’s no way he could be attracted to anything but my money. But I take great care of myself and look good. We don’t have the greatest sex life but I think it’s pretty hot. Peter says he is attracted to older guys.

And there’s much more to our relationship than sex. Despite the age difference, I think we are kindred spirits, and Peter says he feels the same. We both like travel, talking about politics, have similar taste in books and movies and TV shows. Lots of common interests.

I can deal with the age/money criticisms, but there’s some other stuff I’m more worried about.

One of my friends says he saw Peter making out with someone much younger over the summer. That worries me. I asked Peter about it and he said it wasn’t true. 

Peter does go out, solo, because he can stay up a lot later than I want to. My party-till-dawn days are over. He says he’s just dancing and hanging out with friends. I want to believe him.

One night he didn’t come home and it unsettled me. He told me it just got too late so he crashed at a friend’s place. I thought of asking the friend about it but I didn’t want to seem like I was spying on Peter, and I also was afraid that the friend would say this didn’t happen. If it didn’t, then what? Do I break up with him for lying and cheating? I really don’t want to be old and alone. I can’t tell if my friends are making me paranoid or if I am being played.

Michael replies:

Obviously, I can’t know if Peter is telling you the truth or not. But I can give you some pointers on dealing with trust in a relationship. The main person to focus on trusting is yourself. 

Do you trust your own sense of whether or not Peter is being honest with you? If not: What would it take for you to do so? Could you let yourself see things that you are currently not wanting to let yourself see? What is now stopping you from seeing him accurately?

You describe many ways in which you think the two of you are compatible. How about in terms of values? Do you respect Peter’s character? Can you get a good read on whether he is just telling you what you want to hear in order to stay in the relationship, or giving you an honest representation of where he really stands?

I understand that you’re afraid of finding out that Peter is lying to you, and that you don’t want to have to deal with ending the relationship. Given the possible ramifications, that makes sense. But do you want to let your fear stop you from keeping your eyes open?

When we decide to see things not as they are, but as we wish they were, or tell ourselves that what we see isn’t what we’re seeing, we end up getting hurt. And we do a great disservice to ourselves by discrediting our own internal witness, making it difficult to trust both ourselves and other people.

Only you can decide which would be preferable: Living with someone whom you don’t trust to be honest with you, or being alone.

In considering this possibility, keep in mind that none of us have a guarantee that we won’t be hurt in our relationships. In fact, it’s pretty much certain that at times we will be. Partners do break each other’s hearts, sometimes deliberately, sometimes not. That in itself is no reason to end a relationship. 

But being with someone who is purposely deceiving you doesn’t sound that appealing. 

Our relationship difficulties often give us possibilities to grow. Your fears about Peter’s infidelity are an opportunity for you two to have some conversations about how important you each think honesty is in a relationship; and what risks you are willing to take in order to have an honest relationship. 

People are often afraid to speak the truth because of the possible consequences. But if you don’t speak up, you can easily wind up in a hollowed-out relationship where neither of you is willing to address what is really going on with each of you. That is the opposite of intimacy.  

And, having a standard where each of you is forthcoming would avoid the minefield of a distrustful relationship where one of you is the detective and one of you is the suspect. That dynamic creates an imbalanced relationship and often leads to the watched partner wanting to get away with things. 

Bottom line: Are each of you interested enough in an intimate relationship to be consistently honest with each other, even if your partner may not like what you say? And to do your best to respond thoughtfully to your partner’s honesty, even when he tells you something that you do not want to hear?

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C., Maryland, Virginia, New York, and all PSYPACT states. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].

Continue Reading

Popular