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Best of Gay D.C. 2013: People

Our favorite singers, drag performers, actors, bartenders and more

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Eleanor Holmes Norton, gay marriage, same sex marriage, marriage equality, gay news, Washington D.C., Washington Blade
Best of Gay D.C., Best Artist, Wicked Jezabel, gay news, Washington Blade

Wicked Jezabel (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best singer or band:

Wicked Jezabel

Wickedjezabel.com

Runner-up: Tom Goss

 

Best of Gay D.C., Eric Fanning, Pentagon, Air Force, Best Bureaucrat, gay news, Washington Blade

Eric Fanning (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best bureaucrat:

Eric Fanning

Runner-up: Nancy Sutley

 

As acting secretary of the Air Force, Eric Fanning personifies the service motto of “Aim High … Fly-Fight-Win.”

He’s the highest-ranking openly gay civilian official in the U.S. military, overseeing procurement and operations for a $140 billion department at the Air Force. Fanning wins the 2013 award for Best LGBT Bureaucrat or Federal Worker and is the first-ever winner from the Washington Blade in this new category.

Fanning, 45, has had a long political career in D.C. After his initial work on Capitol Hill, Fanning worked during the Clinton administration at the Pentagon and the White House. Once President Obama assumed office, Fanning went to work within the Department of the Navy and continued in that role until he was nominated as Air Force under secretary.

Although the Senate confirmed Fanning for the lesser role as under secretary for the Air Force, Fanning became acting secretary when Michael Donley retired. Since that time, he was among the speakers at an LGBT Pride celebration at the Pentagon in June.

In an interview with the Washington Blade, Fanning said he left the Pentagon after “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was implemented in the 1990s and didn’t want to come back until a president was elected who would end it.

“It was very difficult when we were getting to the end of the first two years and it wasn’t clear if we were going to be able to repeal ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,'” Fanning said. “I didn’t know what I was going to do if we didn’t get the repeal through because some people couldn’t work because they were openly gay or lesbian.” (CJ)

 

Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton (D-D.C.) (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton (D-D.C.) (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Local heroine:

Eleanor Holmes Norton, D.C.’s long-serving congressional delegate and a longtime proponent of LGBT equality.

Runner-up: Katy Ray

 

 

David Perruzza (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

David Perruzza (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Local hero:

Dave Perruzza

Runner-up: Freddie Lutz (Freddie’s Beach Bar)

 

Dave Perruzza, perhaps best known as manager of JR.’s, also devotes much time to organizing the annual 17th Street High Heel Race. The 27th annual race is scheduled for Oct. 29. After serving in the U.S. Navy, Perruzza began working at the well-known Dupont Circle gay bar in 1996, handling coat check. He soon worked his way up to the top spot at the 17th Street, N.W., bar known for its friendly environment and popular theme nights. Readers from near and far appreciate that Perruzza strives to make everyone feel welcome and at home, whether you’re a local headed to happy hour after a long day on the Hill or a tourist looking for a friendly face.

 

 

Xavier Bottoms (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Xavier Bottoms (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best drag king:

Xavier Bottoms

Runner-up: Sebastian Katz

 

Best of Gay D.C., Best Realtor, Mark Rutstein, gay news, Washington Blade

Mark Rutstein (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Realtor:

Mark Rutstein

Runner-up: Ray Gernhart

 

Mark Rutstein is a repeat winner in this category. He works both as manager of Cobalt and as a Realtor for Coldwell Banker on 17th Street.

 

DJ Wess (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

DJ Wess (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best DJ:

DJ Wess

Runner-up: Chord Bezerra

 

Heidi Glüm (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Heidi Glüm (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best drag queen:

Heidi Glum

Runner-up: Ba’Naka

 

For Heidi Glum (aka Miles DeNiro), drag was a ticket out of a miserable job.

“I was a shampoo person at a salon,” she says. “It was a terrible job. I was essentially a maid. So I quit and all I do now is drag. I’ve been busting my ass to make it a career.”

Glum (pronounced “gloom”) started drag about five years ago in New York where she says she was a long-time “club kid.” Back in D.C. the past two years, Glum has several monthly gigs — a drag bingo at Mellow Mushroom, Gay Bash, WTF and Crack and “a lot of stuff in New York too.”

At times it’s been rough going. Glum was attacked by two patrons at Manny & Olga’s, a pizzeria on 14th Street in June after a Black Cat performance. Glum was beaten and called “tranny” and “faggot” in an incident captured on video.

She says her philosophy of great drag means infusing feeling in the work.

“You can tell when someone is really feeling it,” she says. “It comes up from somewhere inside you. You either have it or you don’t, this sort of spark. You can tell some of them are just dressed up for the hell of it.” (JD)

 

Best of Gay D.C., Ed Bailey, Best Business Person, Town Danceboutique, Number Nine, gay news, Washington Blade

Ed Bailey (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best businessperson:

Ed Bailey (Town Danceboutique)

Runner-up: Karen Diehl

 

Eddie Weingart (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Eddie Weingart (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best massage:

Eddie Weingart

Deep Knead Massage Therapy and Body Work

Runner-up: The Legendary Dave

 

For Eddie Weingart, “making people feel whole is the number one thing,” in his massage work.

Having survived a serious car accident in 2001, he knows first-hand about pain management. He says his work, which incorporates both ancient and modern techniques, is tailored to “bring a wellness of body, mind and spirit.”

Weingart is gay and is based in Silver Spring, though he has many clients in D.C. He guesses about 95 percent of his clients are LGBT. He’s been in the area three years and averages 50-60 massages per week. (JD)

 

Denis Largeron (Photo by Denis Largeron)

Denis Largeron (Photo by Denis Largeron)

Best visual artist:

Denis Largeron

Runner-up Lisa Marie Thalhammer

 

Digital photographer Denis Largeron has been shooting part-time professionally for about three years. By day, he works at World Bank.

He focuses on commercial work and does weddings, portraits, what he calls “boudoir” photo and various gay events.

“I think last year I shot about every gay circuit party there was on the East Coast,” he says. “Most of the time, it’s promoters who hire me to shoot their events but I also shoot for some magazines as well.”

Largeron is gay and came to the U.S. about six years ago to be with a then-boyfriend.

“For me, it’s all about having a client and meeting their specific need,” he says. “Every client has a different expectation and that’s what I like about it. You have to adjust.” (JD)

 

Bethany Carter Howlett (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Bethany Carter Howlett (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best personal trainer:

Bethany Carter Howlett

Runner-up: Drew McNeil

 

Finding the motivation to maintain a healthy lifestyle can be difficult. Bethany Carter Howlett makes it easier with her fitness expertise.

Howlett is a professional fitness athlete, formerly a body builder and registered dietician. She holds multiple certifications and trains anyone from children to professional athletes. She also owns four gyms in Virginia.

“I feel being a trainer who practices what she preaches by competing, training and living the healthy lifestyle of a professional athlete allows for a strong advantage in my favor among other personal trainers in the area,” Howlett says.

Her training programs are diverse from one-on-one sessions to group classes. Howlett can train people in person or even online. Her diet plans are specially made to suit the needs of the individual from their genetic lineage to their health history.

A Virginia native, Howlett began gymnastics at age 3. As an undergraduate at the University of Virginia, where she received her bachelor’s degree in molecular biology, she was a cheerleader.

Howlett is married to Jason Rowley and they are expecting their first child. Howlett has continued training clients and working out throughout her pregnancy. She hopes to be back in the gym two weeks after she gives birth. (MC)

 

 

Bruce DePuyt (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Bruce DePuyt (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best TV personality:
Bruce DePuyt WJLA, News Channel 8
Runner-up: Chuck Bell, NBC4

 

“News Talk with Bruce DePuyt” on News Channel 8 remains among the metropolitan area’s most influential local news programs.

D.C. Mayor Vincent Gray, D.C. Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton, Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli, D.C. Police Chief Cathy Lanier, Maryland state Del. Heather Mizeur (D-Montgomery County) and other politicians and officials frequently discuss the important issues of the day. LGBT-specific topics that include the implementation of the U.S. Supreme Court decision that found a portion of the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional, efforts to repeal Virginia’s gay nuptials ban and Russia’s LGBT rights record are also a regular part of the weekday talk show’s line-up.

“I’ve been a loyal reader of the Washington Blade for 30 years, so this is a very special honor,” DePuyt said upon learning he had won.

DePuyt has been with News Channel 8 since 1993.

He covered Maryland politics extensively until he became the host of “News Talk” in 2002.

“I also want to acknowledge my employer of the last 20 years, WJLA/NewsChannel 8 for always being in my corner,” DePuyt said.

DePuyt was a reporter and anchor at WVIR in Charlottesville, Va., before he arrived at News Channel 8. He also produced an award-winning weekly talk show, “21 This Week” on “Cable News 21” in Montgomery County, Md.

“News Talk” airs on News Channel 8 weekdays live at 10 a.m. (ML)

 

 

Best of Gay D.C., best actor, Logan Sutherland, gay news, Washington Blade

Logan Sutherland (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best actor:

Logan Sutherland

Runner-up: Will Gartshore

 

At just 22, Logan Sutherland is at the beginning of his acting career and he’s already winning awards. “This is an incredible surprise,” he says. “I didn’t even promote myself. I’ve been way too busy!”

After graduating from American University’s musical theater program in the spring, Sutherland began landing acting gigs straight away beginning with multiple roles in the Source Festival at Source Theatre in June. Shortly after, he drew praise for his showy turn in this summer’s Fringe Festival favorite “One Night in New York.”

“It was like Disney had made a big gay musical about a guy coming to New York looking for love,” he says. “I played Andy, one of the bitchy people that he met in Chelsea. He was like the Regina George [from “Mean Girls”] — a real bitch.”

A genuine triple threat, Sutherland has been performing since he was a kid in small town Schwenksville, Pa. Currently the out actor is understudying for “Lulu and the Brontosaurus” at Imagination Stage in Bethesda. Later this season he will appear in Woolly Mammoth’s “The Summoning of Everyman,” a morality play that now reads as satire.

When not acting, Sutherland works as a server at Founding Farmers three blocks from the White House.  He’s considering film work, which may involve a move to New York or California in the future. But for now, the Dupont Circle resident says he’s learning a lot and happy to be a part of the D.C. theater scene. (PF)

 

Best actress:

Jessica Thorne

Runner-up: Holly Twyford

 

Jessica Thorne is a fresh and definitely welcomed face on the local theater scene. The self-described straight LGBT ally initially left her native Georgia for D.C. to attend Catholic University’s musical theater program. After graduating in 2011, she immediately began performing with Synetic Theatre Company, the never boring movement-based troupe based in Crystal City.

“I’m incredibly grateful to Synetic. They changed me as an artist,” says Thorne who remains a member of the company. “As an actor it makes you incredibly comfortable with your body and who you are in space and time. It was a great experience and very singular to the company.”

Last season, Thorne was an ensemble member in director Ethan McSweeney’s gorgeous production of “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” at the Shakespeare Theater Company. And more recently she shone as wholesome Janet in Studio Theatre’s “Richard O’Brien’s The Rocky Horror Show.”

As a freshman in high school, Thorne was certain she wanted to pursue a career in theater. She is grateful to her mother and grandmother for supporting her choice to study theater in college. “They’ve been there every step of the way,” she says. “For me, that support has been really imperative in becoming an artist. You base a lot of your success on the people who are backing you.” She also thanks her colleagues in the D.C. theater community whom she describes as incredibly supportive and generous.

Currently studying voice in New York with singer/composer Marisa Michelson, Thorne considers D.C. home and is slated to perform here in two shows this spring (about which she cannot yet reveal details). We promise to keep readers posted. (PF)

 

Kat Skyles (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Kat Skyles (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Hill staffer:

Kat Skiles

Runner-up: Guy Cecil

 

President Barack Obama (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

President Barack Obama (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best straight ally:

President Barack Obama

Runner-up: Brooke Jordan

 

Best of Gay D.C., Best Bartender, Carlos Arroyo, JR's, gay news, Washington Blade

Carlos Arroyo (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best bartender:

Carlos Arroyo (JR.’s)

Runner-up: Liz Warner-Osborne (Cobalt)

 

Carlos Arroyo says the relaxed atmosphere at JR.’s makes it a great place to work.

“It’s a great vibe overall,” he says. “The clientele is super awesome. We have amazing regulars and people just go there to have a great time. It’s not pretentious. They leave work and everything at the door. … It’s probably one of the most relaxed bars I’ve worked in.”

Arroyo has been in D.C. about 13 years and has dabbled in theater, communications work, personal training, catering and more. He also helps his partner with a photography business and says the two “travel quite often.”

Arroyo previously worked at Number Nine on P Street for about a year and a half, but moved over to JR.’s. He’s quick to assert he has enjoyed working at both hotspots.

“When JR.’s comes calling, you can’t turn them down,” he says. “It’s one of the busiest gay bars in D.C.” (JD)

 

Jamie Romano (Washington Blade photo by Kevin Naff)

Jamie Romano (Washington Blade photo by Kevin Naff)

Best Rehoboth bartender:

Jamie Romano (Purple Parrot)

Runner-up: Chris Chandler (Blue Moon)

 

Jamie Romano is a repeat winner, having taken this prize two years ago. He reclaims it this year in a close contest with Chris Chandler. Romano has an uncanny ability to remember his customers’ favorite drink and often has one at the ready before you sit down. You can find him behind the main bar at the gay-owned Purple Parrot and at the popular outdoor bar in back, known as the Biergarten.

 

 

Best of Gay D.C., Josh Deese, Trevor Project, Judy Shepard, Committed Activist, gay news, Washington Blade

Josh Deese (Photo courtesy of Josh Deese)

Most committed activist:

Josh Deese

Runner-up: Halley Cohen

 

Florida native Josh Deese knew he wanted to make a difference in the LGBT community after being bullied for his sexuality growing up led him to attempt suicide.  His experience drew him to The Trevor Project’s Youth Advisory Council (YAC).

“Just having a feeling that people don’t appreciate you and that you’re worthless takes its toll on you,” says Deese. “It only takes one, a friend, parent or ally to stand up and save someone’s life and let them know they aren’t alone.”

Deese, who cites Harvey Milk as one of his heroes, has spoken with The Trevor Project about LGBT youth suicide, most recently at The National Cathedral with Judy Shepard, Matthew Shepard’s mother. He also serves as the Neighboring Commuter Representative on the University of Maryland Government Association.

In the future he plans to work in real estate in the D.C. area and eventually would like to run for the U.S. House. He hopes his efforts to help the LGBT community will lead to LGBT youth feeling safer and appreciated in the future. He says he wants them to understand life is an option.

He’s a sophomore at the University of Maryland majoring in government and politics with a minor in LGBT studies. (MC)

 

 

Maryland Del. Heather Mizeur (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Maryland Del. Heather Mizeur (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best gay politician:

Del. Heather Mizeur (Maryland)

Runner-up: Sen. Tammy Baldwin (D-Wis.)

 

Del. Heather Mizeur has represented Takoma Park and Silver Spring in the Maryland General Assembly since 2006. But she’s best known now as the openly gay candidate for governor. She faces current Lt. Gov. Anthony Brown and Attorney General Doug Gansler in the contest. She would make history as the state’s first female governor and the country’s first openly LGBT elected governor if she prevails next year.

“Diversity is enormously important,” she told the Blade. “Not simply to have a gay governor, but to have a governor who can represent the voices of people in communities that have not always had a voice in the process.”

 

 

Allyson Robinson (Washington Blade photo by Blake Bergen)

Allyson Robinson (Washington Blade photo by Blake Bergen)

Best trans advocate:

Allyson Robinson

Runner-up: Ruby Corado

 

It was a difficult year for Allyson Robinson, who stepped down from her position as executive director of OutServe-SLDN in June. Robinson, who led OutServe-SLDN for nine months, was the only openly transgender leader of a national LGBT rights organization. A new group, Servicemembers, Partners and Allies for Respect and Tolerance for All (SPARTA) announced its formation in July, following the turmoil at OutServe-SLDN. Robinson remains a prominent voice for transgender rights and LGBT equality.

 

 

Best of Gay D.C., Best Amateur Athlete, Stonewall Kickball, Martin Espinoza, gay news, Washington Blade

Martin Espinoza (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best amateur athlete:

Martin Espinoza (Stonewall Kickball)

Runner-up: Julie Olsen

 

Diego Orbegoso (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Diego Orbegoso (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best stylist:

Diego Orbegoso, Bang Salon

Runner-up: Dmitri Lords, Zoe Salon & Spa

 

Diego Obregoso says the best part of being a stylist is “the magical boosting of people’s energy by making them feel good.”

With a background in makeup and cosmetology, Obregoso has been at Bang Metropole (1519 15th St., N.W.) for six years. He’s gay and estimates about 60 percent of his customers are LGBT.

A native of Lima, Peru, Obregoso has been in the U.S. 11 years. (JD)

 

 

Best of Gay D.C., David Lett, Best Clergy, gay news, Washington Blade

The Very Rev. David B. Lett (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best clergy:

Rev. David Lett

Runner-up: Rabbi Shira Stutman

 

Sometimes Saturday is a very short night sleep-wise for David Lett. He’s often out until the wee hours hostessing (as Lena Lett) the drag show at Town Danceboutique. Sundays are often spent doing spiritual duties as supply clergy with the North American Old Catholic Church, an LGBT-affirming offshoot of the Roman Catholic Church where years ago, Lett went to seminary and studied in Rome.

Lett says the two roles aren’t as dissimilar as they might seem.

“To be a drag performer, you have to be confident and you have to be able to put yourself in front of people and …. take them from wherever they are to a new place. A priest does a lot of the same things, there’s just not as much liquor going around. … The basic tenets of the role are identical. It’s just the means by which they are done that is completely different.”  (JD)

 

Rev. Dean Snyder (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Rev. Dean Snyder (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Lifetime achievement award:

Rev. Dean Snyder (Foundry United Methodist Church)

 

Rev. Dean Snyder has been an LGBT ally for 40 years and he is the inaugural recipient of the Blade’s Lifetime Achievement Award.

He has fought to change his denomination’s ban on same-sex marriages being performed by the church’s ministers. In 2010, the Foundry congregation voted 367-8 to allow same-sex marriages to be performed in the church.

A large portion of Foundry’s congregation is LGBT, including couples that have been in committed relationships for decades. This brought Snyder to question the church’s laws.

“We started doing services to honor gay and lesbian committed relationships, which we argued were not a violation of the rules because we weren’t actually consecrating a marriage,” Snyder told the Blade. “But then … when it was clear marriage was going to become legal in Washington, D.C., then we couldn’t fudge anymore. It was either marriage or it wasn’t.”

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Theater

‘Jonah’ an undeniably compelling but unusual memory play

Studio production draws on scenes from the past, present, and from imagination

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Quinn M. Johnson and Ismenia Mendes (Photo by Margot Schulman)

‘Jonah’
Through April 19
Studio Theatre
1504 14th St., N.W.
$55-$95 (discounts available)
Studiotheatre.org

Written by Rachel Bonds, “Jonah” is an undeniably compelling but unusual memory play with scenes pulled from the past, some present, and others seemingly imagined. Despite its title, the play is about Ana, a complicated young woman processing past trauma from the fragile safety of her usually quiet bedroom. 

Studio Theatre’s subtly powerful production (through April 19) is finely realized. Director Taylor Reynolds smartly helms an especially strong cast and an inspired design team. 

As Ana, out actor Ismenia Mendes radiates a quiet magnetism. She nails the intelligent woman with a hard exterior that sometimes melts away to reveal a warm curiosity and sense of humor despite a history of loss. 

When we first meet Ana, she’s a scholarship student at a boarding school where she’s very much on the radar of Jonah, a sensitive day student (charmingly played by Rohan Maletira). Initially reluctant to know him, Ana soon breaks the ice by playfully lifting her shirt and flashing him. It’s a budding romance oozing with inexperience. And just like that, there’s a blast of white light and woosh, Jonah’s gone. Literally sucked out of an upstage door.

Clearly romanticized, the scenes between Ana and Jonah are a perfect memory captured in time that surely must be too good to be entirely true. 

“Jonah,” a well-made nonlinear work, is pleasing to follow. Each of Bond’s scenes end with a promise that more will be revealed. And over its almost two hours, Ana’s story deftly unfolds in some satisfying ways, ultimately piecing together like a puzzle. 

Next, Ana is a college writing student. She’s alone in her dorm room when volatile stepbrother Danny (Quinn M. Johnson) visits the campus. Growing up in Detroit, Danny was Ana’s protector taking the brunt of her stepfather’s abuse after the untimely death Ana’s mother. Now, he’s sort of a clinging nuisance; nonetheless, they maintain a trauma rooted relationship.

And finally, 40ish and still guarded, Ana is a published writer. While working in her bedroom at a rural writer’s retreat, she’s joined by a nerdy stranger, Steven (Louis Reyes McWilliams). At first annoyed by this fellow writer’s presence, Ana is ultimately won over by his dogged devotion, sincerity, and kind words. What’s more, he’s not unacquainted with abuse, and he’s willing to delve into discussions of intimacy. Again, is it too good to be true?

Chronology be damned, these three male characters come and go, dismissed and recalled. It’s through them that Ana’s emotional journey is reflected. They pursue, but she allows them into her life in different ways for different reasons.

Bonds, whose plays have been produced at Studio in the past (world premiere of “The Wolfe Twins” and “Curve of Departure”), and Reynolds who scored a huge success directing Studio’s production of “Fat Ham” in 2023, are well matched. Reynolds’s successful intimate staging and obvious respect for the script’s serious themes without losing its lighter moments are testimony to that.

Essential to the play is Ana’s bedroom created by set designer Sibyl Wickersheimer. It’s a traditional kind of bedroom, all wooden furniture with a neat and tidy kind of farmhouse feel to it. There are two large window frames with views of darkness. It could be anywhere. The only personal items are writing devices and maybe the lived-in bedding, but other than that, not a lot indicates home. 

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Movies

The Oscar-losing performance that’s too good to miss

‘If I Had Legs I’d Kick You’ now streaming

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Rose Byrne stars in ‘If I Had Legs I’d Kick You.’ (Photo courtesy of A24)

Now that Oscar season is officially over, most movie lovers are ready to move on and start looking ahead to the upcoming crop of films for the standouts that might be contenders for the 2026 awards race.

Even so, 2025 was a year with a particularly excellent slate of releases: Ryan Coogler’s “Sinners” and Paul Thomas Anderson’s “One Battle After Another,” which became rivals for the Best Picture slot as well as for total number of wins for the year, along with acclaimed odds-on favorites like “Hamnet,” with its showcase performance by Best Actress winner Jessie Buckley, and “Weapons,” with its instantly iconic turn by Best Supporting Actress Amy Madigan.

But while these high-profile titles may have garnered the most attention (and viewership), there were plenty of lesser-seen contenders that, for many audiences, might have slipped under the radar. So while we wait for the arrival of this summer’s hopeful blockbusters and the “prestige” cinema that tends to come in the last quarter of the year, it’s worth taking a look back at some of the movies that may have come up short in the quest for Oscar gold, but that nevertheless deserve a place on any film buff’s “must-see” list; one of the most essential among them is “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You,” which earned a Best Actress Oscar nod for Rose Byrne. A festival hit that premiered at Sundance and went on to win international honors – for both Byrne and filmmaker Jane Bronstein – from other film festivals and critics’ organizations (including the Dorian Awards, presented by GALECA, the queer critics association), it only received a brief theatrical release in October of last year, so it’s one of those Academy Award contenders that most people who weren’t voters on the “FYC” screener list for the Oscars had limited opportunity to see. Now, it’s streaming on HBO Max.

Written and directed by Bronstein, it’s not the kind of film that will ever be a “popular” success. Surreal, tense, disorienting, and loaded with trigger-point subject matter that evokes the divisive emotional biases inherent in its premise, it’s an unsettling experience at best, and more likely to be an alienating one for any viewer who comes to it unprepared. 

Byrne stars as Linda, a psychotherapist who juggles a busy practice with the demands of being mother to a child with severe health issues; her daughter (Delaney Quinn) suffers from a pediatric feeding disorder and must take her nutrition through a tube, requiring constant supervision and ongoing medical therapy – and she’s not polite about it, either. Seemingly using her condition as an excuse to be coddled, the child is uncooperative with her treatment plan and makes excessive demands on her mother’s attention, and the girl’s father (Christian Slater) – who spends weeks away as captain of a cruise ship – expects Linda to manage the situation on the home front while offering little more than criticism and recriminations over the phone.

Things are made even more stressful when the ceiling collapses in their apartment, requiring mother and child to move to a seedy beachside motel. Understandably overwhelmed, Linda turns increasingly toward escape, mostly through avoidance and alcohol; she finds her own inner conflicts reflected by her clients – particularly a new mother (Danielle Macdonald) struggling with extreme postpartum anxiety – and her therapy sessions with a colleague (Conan O’Brien, in a brilliantly effective piece of against-type casting) threaten to cross ethical and professional boundaries. Growing ever more isolated, she eventually finds a thread of potential connection in the motel’s sympathetic superintendent (A$AP Rocky) – but with her own mental state growing ever more muddled and her daughter’s health challenges on the verge of becoming a lifelong burden, she finds herself drawn toward an unthinkable solution to her dilemma.

With its cryptic title – which sounds like the punchline to a macabre joke and evokes expectations of “body horror” creepiness – and its dreamlike, disjointed approach, “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” feels like a dark comedic thriller from the outset, but few viewers are likely to get many laughs from it. Too raw to be campy and too cold to invite our compassion, it’s a film that dwells in an uncomfortable zone where we are too mortified to be moved and too appalled to look away. Though it’s technically a drama, Bronstein presents it as a horror story, of sorts, driven by psychological rather than supernatural forces, and builds it on an uneasy structure that teases us with expectations of “body horror” grotesquerie while forcing us to identify with a character whose lack of (presumably) universal parental instinct feels transgressive in a way that is somehow even more disquieting than the gore and mutilation we imagine might be coming at any moment of the film.

And we do imagine it, even expect it to come, which is as much to do with the near-oppressive claustrophobia that results from Bronstein’s use of near-constant close-ups as it does with the hint of impending violence that pervades the psychological tension. It’s not just that our frame of vision is kept tight and limited; her tactic keeps us uncertain of what’s going on outside the edges, creating a near-constant sense of something unseen lurking just beyond our view. Yet it also helps to put us into Linda’s state of mind; for almost the entire film, we never see the face of her daughter – nor do we ever know the child’s name – and her husband is just a strident voice on the other end of a phone call, and the effect places us squarely into her dissociated, depressed, and desperate existence.

Anchoring it all, of course, is Byrne’s remarkable performance. Vivid, vulnerable, and painfully real, it’s the centerpiece of the film, the part that emerges as greater than the whole; and while Oscar may have passed her over, she delivers a star turn for the ages and gives profound voice to a dark side of feminine experience that is rarely allowed to be aired.

That, of course, is the key to Bronstein’s seeming purpose; inspired by her own struggles with postpartum depression, her film feels like both a confession and an exorcism, a parable in which the expectations of unconditional motherly love fall into question, and the burden placed on a woman to subjugate her own existence in service of a child – and a seemingly ungrateful one, at that – becomes a powerful exploration of feminist themes. It’s an exploration that might go too far, for some, but it expresses a truth that those of us who are not mothers (and many of us who are) might be loath to acknowledge.

Uncomfortable though it may be, Bronstein’s movie draws us in and persuades our emotional investment despite its difficult and unlikable characters, thanks to her star player and her layered, puzzle-like screenplay, which captures Linda’s scattered psyche and warped perceptions with an approach that creates structure through fragments, clues and suggestions; and while it may not land quite as squarely, in the end, as we might hope, its bold and transgressive style – coupled with the career-topping performance at its center – are more than enough reason to catch this Oscar “also-ran” before putting this year’s award season behind you once and for all.

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Calendar

Calendar: March 27-April 2

LGBTQ events in the days to come

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Friday, March 27

Center Aging Monthly Luncheon With Yoga will be at 12 p.m. at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. Email Mac at [email protected] if you require ASL interpreter assistance, have any dietary restrictions, or questions about this event.

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Happy Hour” at 7 p.m. at Dupont Italian Kitchen. This is a chance to relax, make new friends, and enjoy happy hour specials at this classic retro venue. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite

Trans and Genderqueer Game Night will be at 7 p.m. at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. This is a relaxing, laid-back evening of games and fun. All are welcome and there’ll be card and board games on hand. Feel free to bring your own games to share. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website

Trans Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This event is intended to provide an emotionally and physically safe space for trans people and those who may be questioning their gender identity/expression to join together in community and learn from one another. For more details, email [email protected]

Saturday, March 28

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation.  Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

The DC Center for the LGBT Community will host “Sunday Supper on Saturday” at 2 p.m. It’s more than just an event; it’s an opportunity to step away from the busyness of life and invest in something meaningful, and enjoy delicious food, genuine laughter, and conversations that spark connection and inspiration. For more details, visit the Center’s website

Black Lesbian Support Group will be at 1 p.m. on Zoom. This is a peer-led support group devoted to the joys and challenges of being a Black Lesbian. For more details, email [email protected]

Monday, March 30

“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).

“Tea Time! A Local DC Drag Comedy Show” will be at 3 p.m. at Spark Social. This is a live drag comedy show where drag legends TrevHER & Tiara Missou Sidora host spill all the tea in the DMV. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite

Tuesday, March 31

Visibili-TEA Party will be at 6 p.m. at Restoration Station. Guests are encouraged to come sip, celebrate, and shine together. This event is a Trans Day of Visibility celebration and a special collaboration between Auntie’s Home and Damien Ministries. This is a boozy tea party with intention and the dress code reflects the vibe. More details are available on Eventbrite

Wednesday, March 1

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.

Thursday, April 2

The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245. 

Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breathwork and meditation that allows LGBTQ+ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.  

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