Sports
Meet 2 couples sharing their lives and a love of sports
Rowing, swimming offer friendly competition and a common bond
Many of the LGBT sports teams in D.C. count same-sex couples as members of their clubs. Some joined the team together and others became a couple after first being teammates.
Meet two LGBT couples who have woven sports into the lives they are sharing. Not only are they benefitting their own health and well-being, they are sharing it with their partner.
Sheila OāSullivan grew up in Novi, Mich., where soccer was her sport of choice. She attended high school in England and added rowing as her spring sport.
Back in the States, she graduated from the Coast Guard Academy in Connecticut in 2000. She coached rowing on Sammamish Lake in Washington before heading to grad school at Carnegie Mellon University.
Canonsburg, Pa. was home to Gretchen OāSullivan where she played softball and tennis in high school. She attended Allegheny College and was a member of the orchestra. A stint with AmeriCorps was followed by grad school at Carnegie Mellon.
The pair became a couple after meeting at grad school in Pittsburgh. Sheila would graduate first in 2007 and leave to work with the Peace Corps before moving to D.C. in 2009 where she joined the club program of the DC Strokes Rowing Club.
āAfter she left I joined the learn to row program with Three Rivers Rowing in Pittsburgh,ā says Gretchen. āIt was all because of Sheila. I never would have thought of rowing otherwise.ā
Gretchen came to D.C. the following year and started with the DC Strokes novice program. She eventually joined Sheila in the club program and they often ended up in the same boat.
āShe would get frustrated with me, but the overall experience was great,ā says Sheila. āItās great being outside and working as a team. We met our core group of friends with the Strokes and even if we are not rowing, they remain in our lives.ā
āShe was only trying to help me when we were in a boat together, but it was sometimes stressful,ā Gretchen says. āOtherwise it was wonderful and there was great energy. Our drives back and forth to practice were always fun.ā
Life started getting in the way for the pair and they began swapping rowing seasons to be supportive of who had the time to row. There was work, a new puppy, a new house, and they got married in the spring of 2013.
Both were competing in regattas ā Sheila moved up to the competitive program and rowed at Stonewall, Charm City Sprints and the Head of the Hooch in Tennessee; Gretchen at the 2014 Gay Games in Cleveland where she won medals of each color.
Gretchen was trying to get pregnant in 2015 which meant that it was Sheilaās turn to row again. Their baby was born in late 2016 and Sheila started training for a new job with the Park Police. Gretchen is working as a site coordinator with a national nonprofit. Both are currently not rowing but are itching to get back in the boat.
āI really wanted to stay involved, so I am serving on the DC Strokes board as secretary,ā says Gretchen. āRowing is really for everyone and you can adapt it to your own needs. I would love for her to row again and I also see it for myself on the horizon.ā
āI love that it is something you can come back to at any age and I am inspired by rowers that are older,ā Sheila says. āRowing is a passion of mine and it will be a lifetime sport for me.ā
Syracuse, N.Y. native Fred Dever grew up competing in swimming and water polo through high school. He was an NCAA Division I swimmer at Marist College for four years and captained in his final year. On the side, he lifeguarded and coached swimming and water polo.
His work in pharmaceutical sales brought him to D.C. in 1995 and he was reluctant to join DC Aquatics Club because he didnāt think a gay team would be serious.
āI joined the team in 2002 and it was great getting back into organized workouts and making new friends,ā says Fred. āItās super rewarding, competitive, and everything you can wish for as a gay athlete.ā
Eric Czander started swimming year around at age nine while growing up in Westfield, N.J. He swam for four years as an NCAA Division I athlete at Vanderbilt University. His education continued at Rutgers New Jersey Medical School and Emory University School of Medicine for his Neurology residency.
He signed on for five years in the Navy hoping that the military lifestyle would prevent him from coming out. Before his duty began, he joined masters swimming and helped form a gay team in Atlanta where he came out in 1993. His last two years in the military brought him to D.C. where he joined DC Aquatics in 1998.
Fred and Eric met on the team and have spent the last 16 years sharing their lives with a healthy dose of swimming, triathlons and running.
āIt helps with motivation to have someone to go to practice with and just having someone by your side,ā says Eric. āItās nice to be able to bounce things off each other. We are each otherās biggest motivator and biggest critic.ā
āI like the way it feels having sports in our lives,ā Fred says. āI would be a slacker if it wasnāt for Eric. He is much more driven than I am.ā
Fred and Eric are the same age and compete in the same age group in swimming, though not in the same events. They are also of the same ability and purposefully donāt train in the same lane at practice.
āThere is a little competitiveness in practice even though we donāt swim the same events,ā Eric says. āNever harmful though, always healthy. Both of us have grown and learned from each other.ā
āSometimes I just want my own space, so I can be silly with our other teammates,ā adds Fred.
In addition to competitive swimming, Fred and Eric have also completed running marathons and triathlons together. Eric had been competing in them for years before meeting Fred and brought him into the sports.
āMy first marathon in D.C. was cancelled and Eric pushed me to run the St. Louis Marathon,ā says Fred. āWe always make sure the other one is safe in our races. Someone died in a recent open water race we were in and I ended up in the medical tent at the Boston Marathon. Each race starts with āI love you, be safe.āā
āWhen he started doing road running and triathlons, I was beating him at first and then he started beating me,ā says Eric. āWe try not to race next to each other, but our times are very similar. Itās good motivation.ā
Coming up for the pair is a trip to Paris for Gay Games X in August where they both will be swimming eight events in the pool.
āSwimming is all about family and connections,ā Fred says. āOur DC Aquatics teammates are our family.ā
āItās awesome to explore new cities and cultures together,ā Eric says. āPlus, I canāt wait for Fred to butcher the French language.ā
Sports
Former UMD basketball player Abby Meyers discusses lesbians in sports, March Madness
Potomac native signed with the London Lions last August
Star basketball player Abby Meyers signed with the London Lions last August, but she called Maryland home before calling the shots in London.
Meyers, a lesbian shooting guard, grew up in Potomac and graduated from Walt Whitman High School in 2017. She played for Princeton in her undergraduate years and played for the University of Maryland during graduate school.
She began playing basketball in elementary school, and she was already showing an abundance of potential by the time she was in high school.
In her freshman year of high school, the schoolās basketball coach sat down with Meyers and her family and showed them a list of universities with Division I basketball teams. Meyers circled the names of the schools that she was interested in attending. From there, the doors leading to a collegiate basketball career began to open. She began working towards her dream and ended up playing for Princeton.
āIt was kind of like a mutual understanding between the two of us, me and basketball,ā Meyers told the Washington Blade. āI took more individual lessons, and I just realized that the potential was sky high.ā
She came back to her home state to attend the University of Maryland not only for its business program but also for its celebrated basketball team.
āI grew up watching Alyssa Thomas, Shatori Walker-Kimbrough and so many other legends that passed through that program,ā Meyers said. āSo for me, I knew that basketball-wise, it was the best decision I could make. ā¦ They definitely had all of the qualities to make me the best player I could be.ā
Before shipping off to London, Meyers briefly played in the WNBA for the Washington Mystics in the summer of 2023. In fact, the aforementioned UMD alum Shatori Walker-Kimbrough was one of her teammates.
She described her time with the WNBA and in London so far as a ālearning experience.ā
āI got to relearn what it meant to be a rookie again,ā Meyers said. āAll of a sudden you enter a new team, a new level and you’re at the bottom, and you just have to let your actions speak louder than your words.ā
Meyers publicly came out around 2019, and since then she has been a role model for many other lesbian women in sports.
āBy coming out I’m actually being my authentic self, but I was scared that people were going to judge me and look at me differently when in fact, I was met with open arms, love, and appreciation,ā Meyers said.
Meyers believes the journey one takes to coming out is an individual process that looks different for everyone.
āAt the end of the day, it’s your own race; run it at your own pace,ā Meyers said. āNever be apologetic for who you are. When you have to start compromising yourself and your values for other people like though thatās not the community you want to be a part of.ā
She has not experienced much anti-LGBTQ stigma since coming out, but that does not mean that it does not exist in other sports communities. However, in this modern social climate, Meyers pointed out, people are much more accepting of gay women in sports.
Nina Hazra, a University of Maryland medical student, grew up playing basketball with Meyers. The two were on the same team in middle school, but they went to different high schools and would often play against each other.
Hazra did not play much past high school, but she remained close friends with her former teammate and rival to this day. She went to most of the home games during Meyersā stint at UMD.
Though Hazra does not identify with the LGBTQ community, she noticed a tension in the sports world that affects all women, regardless of sexuality. However, with todayās shifting climate, it has become easier for female athletes to express their identities
āWomen who express strong emotions in sports are often treated differently than men who do the exact same thing,ā Hazra said in an interview. āI feel like as we’ve gotten older, there’s been a lot more celebration of womanhood in whatever form in sports, and I think that’s one of the places where you can then kind of go outside those societal norms.ā
But Hazra still noticed the impact Meyers had on younger generations in sports who may be struggling with their identities.
āIt doesn’t matter your sexuality, your gender identity, all that stuff. That doesn’t matter when you’re playing a sport,ā Hazra said. āA lot of us didn’t have role models in those years growing up and just to get to see her being that for so many girls is so amazing.ā
Elisa Pinzan, also a former Terrapin, is good friends with Meyers.
Originally from Italy, Pinzan played for the University of South Florida for four years before entering the transfer portal and landing at UMD. She now plays for Keflavik IF in Iceland.
Pinzan and Meyers formed a strong bond while playing for the Terrapins together.
āShe was the first person I got close to; she is very open, smiley and friendly, and I felt comfortable around her from the first day,ā Pinzan described. āI am glad to have met someone like Abby, with such a kind soul.ā
Pinzan thought that fans should keep their eyes peeled for the Terrapins this upcoming March Madness season.
āThey are a very young team with energy, enthusiasm and grit on the floor, and I think they are a lot better than the record they have,ā Pinzan wrote about the Terrapins in an interview. āDespite being young though, they are learning a lot every game and I am sure they will be able to transfer these lessons for the best time of the year coming up.ā
Meyers agreed that there is a lot to look forward to this March Madness. She said that with Coach Brenda Freseās game plans and strong assistant staff, the Terrapins have a strong chance of advancing throughout the competition.
According to Meyers, March Madness will be different for womenās basketball this year, pointing out that itās more popular right now than menās games, as womenās basketball is selling out arenas.
āI only think it’s gonna get better and it’s going to grow even more,ā Meyers said. āJust the marketing, the social media, the overall awareness of the women’s game. Fans are growing by the number.ā
Meyers believes that female basketball players have to rely more on their skill than their athleticism, which she believes makes womenās games just as ā if not more ā exciting than menās games. She said that over the past few years, there has been a strong shift in womenās viewership that has shrunk the gap between menās and womenās basketball, including from a technical standpoint, given that men and women play with the same level of equipment.
Regardless of where UMD ends up this March Madness, Meyers will be cheering the Terrapins on from across the pond ā especially the women.
Sports
Banned trans golfer Hailey Davidson: āHate and bigotry will never win’
NXXT mandates players must be ābiological female at birthā
Transgender pro golfer Hailey Davidson is pushing back against a policy change announced Friday by the Florida-based mini-tour, NXXT. From now on, competitors must be āa biological female at birthā in order to participate.
āEffective immediately, I have been removed (banned) from the next three NXXT tournaments that I had already signed up for and been approved to play,ā said Davidson in a post on Instagram. āThey changed their policy mid season, after signing me up already and being 2nd in the Player of the Year race.āĀ
The three-time winner from Scotland has played nine times on the tour this season.
According to a statement by the tourās CEO, Stuart McKinnon, the change underscores the organizationās commitment to āmaintaining the integrity of womenās professional golf and ensuring fair competition.ā NXXT Golf issued that statement on International Womenās Day.
āAs we navigate through the evolving landscape of sports, it is crucial to uphold the competitive integrity that is the cornerstone of womenās sports,ā said McKinnon in the statement. āOur revised policy is a reflection of our unwavering commitment to celebrating and protecting the achievements and opportunities of female athletes. Protected categories are a fundamental aspect of sports at all levels and it is essential for our Tour to uphold these categories for biological females, ensuring a level playing field.ā
Davidson said the policy change in her social media post was discrimination, adding that the decision denigrates cisgender female athletes as well as trans athletes.
āYou know what really bugs me is that people think I win just by showing up,ā she wrote. āThis is such a slap in the face to ALL female athletes being told that any male can transition and beat them regardless of the life of hard work those women put in.
āYou think youāre attacking me, but youāre actually attacking and putting down ALL other female athletes.ā
She concluded with a vow: āYou can scream at me, threaten me, throw insults at me, and even ban me BUT I will ALWAYS get back up and keep fighting to the very end. Hate and bigotry will never win.ā
Davidson also posted a message for the women she had planned to compete against: āI hope those NXXT players who are now in the top five are still able to earn those Epson Tour exemptions they were promised and continue to be reminded of in the previous couple of tournaments.ā
Sports
Gay figure skater Colin Grafton shares his story and his dream
Boston native is contestant on British televisionās ‘Dancing On Ice’
For a second year, Boston native and professional figure skater Colin Grafton is carving up the ice on British televisionās āDancing On Ice,ā and now heās doing it as his authentic self.
āI told my closest friends. I told the people around me and I eventually told my parents,ā Grafton, 32, recalled in an interview with PinkNews, in which he discussed coming out as gay. āI was maybe 24 when all that happened. I know thereās a lot of curiosity about my sexual orientation and my love life, but I never actually came out to the public,ā said ITV personality.
āI guess this is me announcing it to you guys.ā
Grafton, who has been skating since he was 7, reflected on how watching Tara Lipinski win an Olympic gold medal at the 1998 Winter Games inspired him to pursue this career. But being a male figure skater was āreally toughā in the 1990s and 2000s, he told PinkNewsUK.
āI remember feeling so nervous at various points in my childhood,ā said Grafton. āIād be skating and the hockey players would come and bang on the side of the rink and shout words. That was something all male skaters had to deal with back then. It wasnāt easy but all of it made me stronger because I took it and focused everything on my sport.ā
Graftonās focus catapulted him to competing for Team USA, winning a bronze medal at the Junior U.S. championships in 2012, with his former partner Kylie Duarte. The memory of those who taunted him only fueled him to work harder.
āWhen somebody tells you, you canāt do something, or somebody makes fun of you, just prove them wrong.ā
Grafton ended his competitive career in 2013 and transitioned to professional skating, leading several European tours, and even becoming a coach. Then came the COVID-19 pandemic.
āI feel very fortunate about the fact that Iāve been able to kind of dabble in so many different areas in the professional world, but tour life is quite hard, all the travel and being away for so long,ā he said. āSo, when āDancing on Iceā came up, I jumped on it.ā That was in 2023.
The program is broadcast Sunday nights on ITVās Channel 3 from studios in Bovingdon, a village in Hertfordshire about an hour northwest of London. During that first season, Grafton made history being paired with āRuPaul Drag Raceā star The Vivienne, the first drag performer on the show and the first time āDancing On Iceā featured a same-sex team. They made it all the way to the finals, finishing in third place.
āBeing a part of that representation, being a part of that team, it was just wonderful,ā he said. āThe support we got from everyone was just fantastic. If Iām honest, I didnāt really understand the impact that it would make in the end.ā
And at the conclusion of last season, Grafton finally found time to read the many messages of encouragement from fans, as well as from viewers who wrote, āSeeing us helped them and gave them the courage to either come out or be themselves,ā he said. āIt was truly something.ā
And now, as a regular on the showās 16th season, Grafton has decided he wants everyone to know who he really is, and in doing so, show others they are not alone.
āIf Iām honest, I never really felt the need to announce it before, but the reason I am saying this now, is because I want to show that there is representation in any way I canā, the TV personality explains.
Along the way to self-acceptance, Grafton revealed he had a lot of āsmall steps and small triumphsā leading him to finally feel comfortable being himself in the public eye. āIt was on my own terms,ā he said, and feels āblessedā to have found support among friends.
āItās been a long journey but now I am proud of myself and Iām proud of my sexual orientation and I want to let other people know that they should be proud of every part of themselves too,ā said Grafton, acknowledging he had concerns about coming out publicly. āI was really nervous of doing that to myself. It was like, āOK, if I come out as gay then people are going to think Iām this or that,ā when in reality the human sexuality spectrum is so vast and itās just one small part of the person you are.ā
But appearing in primetime on such a popular TV show means that Grafton is the target of speculation about his personal life. He admits to having ālived and breathed skatingā until finally getting in a relationship at age 24, around the same time he decided to come out to friends and family.
While that lasted two and a half years, Graftonās frequent travel commitments and work on the ice left him no other chance for love. āI just didnāt really have an opportunity,ā he said. āYou might meet someone while youāre on a contract for six months and after that, youāre both off in different directions, so, I wasnāt really able to hold down a relationship because of that.ā
But now that London is his home, Grafton told PinkNewsUK he feels ready to settle down. His perfect match? Someone local and appreciative of his business obligations.
āWe live really crazy fast-paced lives as skaters,ā he said. āPersonally, I want to meet someone who is also fast-paced and able to keep up with that, but they donāt have to be a fellow skater. I just want someone who supports me and I can support them, too.ā
āAt the end of the day, weāre all just humans doing our thing on this planet and trying to find love.ā
Until he does, Grafton said he is excited to keep skating on television.
āI absolutely love āDancing on Ice.ā Every season that Iām asked to do it, I feel like Iām blessed and I feel very lucky to be able to keep doing the show. I would love to continue doing it while I can or while my body allows me to as well,ā he said. And when it doesnāt? Grafton imagines he might try his hand at acting.
āI think thatās what life is all about,ā he said. āLearning new things and pushing yourself to do other things.ā
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