Drag artist Desiree Dik hosted the program at ‘Ms. Dik’s B-Day Show!’ at Red Bear Brewing Co. on Friday. Performers included Auntie Heronie, Ana Mosity, Johnny Alucard and Millie Merengue.

(Washington Blade photos by Giuseppe LoPiccolo)

Each year, the Blade seeks our readers’ help in identifying the most eligible local queer singles. Here is this year’s list.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

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Hallie O’Rourke, 26, non-profit management, lesbian

What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for someone who is kind, loyal, intelligent, funny, and who shares my interests while also introducing me to new things. I’m looking for a long term partner who can make me laugh every day and who inspires me to be a better version of myself.

Biggest turn off: Flaky and indecisive people.

Biggest turn on: (Over) communication, taking initiative, making plans.

Hobbies: I enjoy reading and am always in search of the next great book. I also adore arts and crafts and collage frequently. I love experimenting with new mediums and exploring different art forms.

What is your biggest goal for 2025? My biggest goal is to be more outgoing and comfortable introducing myself to strangers. I’d love to go on more solo trips and meet new people around the world.

Pets, kids, or neither? Neither at the moment, but I am looking to get a cat in the near future.

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No, I’d like to be with someone who shares my core political values and beliefs.

Celebrity crush? Ruby Cruz

Name one obscure fact about yourself? I’m a huge fan of “The Room” (AKA the worst movie of the 21st century) and have met two of the cast members, including the infamous Tommy Wiseau.

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Danielle Pasekoff, 25, Democratic strategist and community organizer, lesbian/she/her

What are you looking for in a mate? A genuine partnership! A hopeless romantic, good listener, always down for an adventure and perpetually optimistic.

Biggest turn off: Poor communication, dishonesty, apathy, loud chewing 

Biggest turn on: NJGs (Nice Jewish Girls) 

Hobbies: Watching reality TV, running, singing in the shower, going to concerts, game nights with friends, shopping, running a community group for queer women and trans folks! Check out DC Gay Girls Plus! 

What is your biggest goal for 2025? Finally make a dent in my ever-growing TBR book stack. 

Pets, kids, or neither? Neither but ultimately want both. 

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Not in 2025!

Celebrity crush? Caitlin Clark

Name one obscure fact about yourself? I have six tattoos

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Mauricio Pita, 39, actor/producer, gay

What are you looking for in a mate? Confidence, authenticity, creativity, resiliency, kindness, humor, and attraction. The rest we can figure out. 

Biggest turn off: Shame 

Biggest turn on:  A well-executed wink.

Hobbies: I love stories (movies, theater, books, poetry, gaming, music, writing, etc.) both as a receiver and a giver, dancing like no one (or everyone) is watching, and exploring new spaces. 

What is your biggest goal for 2025? To see more of my family. 

Pets, kids, or neither? I have the most chill Chihuahua, I’m open to all. 

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? It all depends, but we must agree on freedom. 

Celebrity crush? Right now, Drew Starkey from “Queer”

Name one obscure fact about yourself? My other career choices were Paleontology and Computer Science.

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Portia McDaniels, 39, attorney, lesbian

What are you looking for in a mate? A thoughtful, kind monogamist woman to share life’s adventures. Willingness to laugh at my bad jokes is a plus. Find me on instagram @esqmasc 

Biggest turn off: Bad hygiene, rudeness especially to people in customer service, lateness without any warning

Biggest turn on: Effective communication, good sense of humor, loves fitness and staying active, a great signature scent 

Hobbies: Weightlifting, reading everything I’ve bought on Audible, trying new cocktail bars. During good weather, I enjoy kayaking and hiking. Soon to be: improving my Spanish and relearning Mandarin. 

What is your biggest goal for 2025? Hitting some new PRs in the gym, and being consistent with the gentle art (Brazilian jiu jitsu) 

Pets, kids, or neither? Neither right now, but I definitely want kids. Former dog mom who would love another pooch. Not opposed to cats, but they make me sneezy. 

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? It depends 

Celebrity crush? Janelle Monae, Zaynah Bear

Name one obscure fact about yourself? I was on NPR in college

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Lily Kardell, 32, garden center manager, queer/lesbian/she/her

What are you looking for in a mate? A kind, confident soul who thrives on both independence and deep emotional connection. They’re creative and a great communicator. Their love languages are physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time. 

Biggest turn off: Mean-spiritedness and arrogance. 

Biggest turn on: Empathy, passion, and a great sense of humor

Hobbies: I play weekly in a pool league (go Troublemakers!). I also enjoy kayaking, paddleboarding, and cycling in the summer. Ice skating, reading, fiber arts, and crafting are a few of my other favorite pastimes. 

What is your biggest goal for 2025? I’m starting the next chapter of my career and I’m determined to make it the best one yet! I also want to finish one of my many work in progress craft projects!  

Pets, kids, or neither? I’m all about that cool gay aunt life, but prefer to live as a pet and plant mom! I have an adorable, orange cat named Willow. She’s a rambunctious, little rescue and I love her like a daughter. 

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? In DC?!? No! Free Palestine, Black Lives Matter, trans rights are human rights!

Celebrity crush? This is such a fun question and was somehow the hardest for me to answer. I’d have to go with Sandra Oh, Niecey Nash, and weirdly even Jeff Goldblum!

Name one obscure fact about yourself? At age 11, I won first place in the Greater Washington Soap Box Derby Race (like the large ones that you can actually sit in). We raced down Constitution Avenue and finished right next to the Capitol.

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David Draper, 32, early talent acquisition recruiter, gay

What are you looking for in a mate?  I’m looking for someone who knows what he wants and is looking for someone who also knows what he wants. I’d love to find a person who works on himself and is constantly striving to improve and be the best version of himself he can be (mentally, physically, emotionally). As someone who really enjoys “downtime” and alone time I’m looking for someone who I can be around and just “be” and enjoy each other’s company. I enjoy nights out, but I have no problem calling it early-ish (like 12:30AM) and wouldn’t mind a person who likes to go out, but is also fine with leaving the bar/party early to go home and enjoy some downtime and hangout in a more peaceful environment.

Biggest turn off: My biggest turn off is assuming someone is feeling another way when they told you they were feeling one way (i.e. “Are you upset?” “No I’m not upset.” “Well you see upset.”). Another big turn off is “one upping.” This applies to both positive things as well as negative things. And when people lack empathy.

Biggest turn on: My biggest non-physical turn on is emotional intelligence, a sense of humor/quick wit, and an appreciation of sarcasm. 

Hobbies: I’m a certified Bravoholic and consider watching The Real Housewives a hobby. I also have a Peloton bike and enjoy running, so staying active is important to me. I also attend a lot of concerts and Broadway shows, so my Ticketmaster app always has at least 2-3 tickets for upcoming events at various concert venues in and around D.C. 

What is your biggest goal for 2025? My biggest goal for 2025 is to continue prioritizing my physical, mental, and emotional health. Toward the end of 2024, I started a journey to develop better habits around working out, eating, drinking, and sleeping. This year, I’m looking forward to maintaining and building on these healthier habits. A big milestone for me will be running my first marathon at the 2025 Chicago Marathon this fall. 

Pets, kids, or neither? I’m a proud Cat Dad to Linus and Louie. 

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Typically no. By no means would I expect to agree with everything, but would we need to agree on the fundamentals especially on social issues. 

Celebrity crush? Some combination of Chris Mazdzer, Jonathan Bailey, and/or Patrick (from Schitt’s Creek)

Name one obscure fact about yourself? When I was 5, I refused to re-wear pairs of socks and “demanded” to my mom that I have a new pair every day… that didn’t last. I guess you could say I was “particular.”

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Finn Vigeland, 32, transportation planner, gay

What are you looking for in a mate? In no particular order: a guy who fits right in with my friends and family, whose intellect and hobbies charm me, who’s professionally motivated and loves what he does, who wants to travel with me, and who makes me laugh. 

Biggest turn off: Laziness/unprofessionalism, being uninterested in new adventures, disrespect to waitstaff, over dependence on cars 

Biggest turn on: Good dancer, takes the bus, is smart but loves a stupid joke, becomes friends with my friends in his own right 

Hobbies: Biking, board games, dance parties with friends, hosting Survivor watch parties, kickball, nerding out about transit, constructing crossword puzzles for the New York Times 

What is your biggest goal for 2025? tbh, find a boyfriend! 

Pets, kids, or neither? Neither currently, open to both 

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Political views are a reflection of our values. If we aren’t aligned on values, we’re not a match. 

Celebrity crush? Jonathan Bailey but for at least the last 10 years! I’ve been on the bandwagon!

Name one obscure fact about yourself? In college I often gave celebrities and their kids campus tours. The coolest was Rob Lowe, the most random was a Korean R&B legend who brought a camera crew; I wound up on Korean TV in a reality series about her life.

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SC Nealy, 35, mental health therapist, author, business owner, queer/gender fluid

What are you looking for in a mate? Emotional intelligence, strong communication, loyalty, honesty, and a whole lot of humor 

Biggest turn off: Cannot stand the smell of weed or cigarettes. It’s just not for me to be around! 

Biggest turn on: Gentleness, passion, thoughtfulness, and quiet strength 

Hobbies: I crochet little toy animals for friends and children, and I love to write. I also love socializing with my friends and being in community. 

What is your biggest goal for 2025? Continue to expand my business LGBT+ Counseling Collaborative and bring accessible, queer-celebratory mental health services to the DMV area. 

Pets, kids, or neither? I have two young daughters, and a dog and a cat. I accept people’s lives as they are and whatever comes with them. 

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No, I would not. My political views are based in human dignity and equality. If that’s not something you can agree with or if money comes before people, I have no interest in exposing myself to your viewpoints.

Celebrity crush? Ruby Rose

Name one obscure fact about yourself? I won the 2024 Humanitarian of the Year Award from the Virginia Counselors Association.

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Logan Dulski, 25, graphic designer, non-binary pansexual

What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for someone who’s kind, funny, and more than a little nerdy — someone who can commit to the bit. Bonus points if they have a solid karaoke go-to and appreciate the magic of a well-organized notion board. 

Biggest turn off: All the basic turn-offs like being rude to waitstaff or poor hygiene, but throw in being overly nonchalant. 

Biggest turn on: Someone witty, considerate, and knows what they want 

Hobbies: Playing Dungeons & Dragons (or any other ttrpgs), crochet, ballet, reading, playing video games, and tarot 

What is your biggest goal for 2025? My biggest goal for 2025 is to get my tarot deck, the Community & Connection Pocket Tarot, fully funded and printed by the end of the year. 

Pets, kids, or neither? Yes to pets. Hard no to kids. 

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Absolutely not, especially if their views coincide with whether or not I should have basic human rights. 

Celebrity crush? Rhea Ripley, Pedro Pascal, and all of the band Sleep Token

Name one obscure fact about yourself? I took over 9 years of Mandarin lessons as a kid and still don’t know a lick of Mandarin.

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Tristan Gess, 26, consultant, gay

What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for someone who’s ambitious and passionate about what they do—someone who’s always chasing their goals and excited about what’s next. I love going to workout classes, trying new coffee spots, and traveling, so it’d be great to have someone who’s up for all of that too. And most importantly, I need someone who can handle a little friendly teasing but isn’t afraid to give it back. 

Biggest turn off: A big turn-off for me is when someone doesn’t take care of themselves or prioritize good hygiene. It’s not about being perfect, but I’m really drawn to people who put effort into their well-being and take pride in feeling their best. 

Biggest turn on: My biggest turn-on is someone who’s confident but also charismatic. There’s something really attractive about a person who knows their worth, carries themselves well, and can effortlessly connect with people. Confidence without arrogance and a natural charm go a long way. 

Hobbies: My hobbies include going to Barry’s and Solidcore, spending time with my family at the lake, and staying up to date with energy and sustainability initiatives around the world. I love a good workout, quality time with the people who matter most, and keeping up with ways to make a positive impact on the planet. 

What is your biggest goal for 2025? My goal for 2025 is to be more mindful and present in every moment. I want to trust the process, knowing that just because one door closes doesn’t mean another isn’t opening. It’s about staying grounded, making bold choices with confidence, and being open to whatever opportunities come my way. 

Pets, kids, or neither? Neither 

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? I feel pretty grounded and educated in my own political views, and while I’m always open to hearing new perspectives and having thoughtful discussions, I do think there’s a fine line when it comes to politics. Healthy conversations are great, but at a certain point, fundamental differences can become a deal breaker. 

Celebrity crush? Jonathan Bailey

Name one obscure fact about yourself? I fell off the lower deck of a cruise ship in Turkey once!

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Sisi Reid, 32, actor/dancer/theater artist/educator, Black Queer Sensual Femme, Pansexual 

What are you looking for in a mate? Compassionate and thoughtful, playful, affectionate, practices wellness (physical, spiritual, emotional, mental), loves travel, values growth and self accountability, loves traveling together, open to navigating travel and distance in our relationship (I travel for work and solo travel), a willingness to co-design a committed relationship that is non escalator/unique to us, and values peace of mind and peace in home. 

Biggest turn off: Mean/unkind, unwillingness to listen/learn something new/be curious, lack of follow up with actions, and arrogance 

Biggest turn on:  Joy/your own sense of what nourishes your joy and practices you enjoy in your alone time, whole body listening, remembering and reflecting back to me (in your own way) things I do/say, someone who has dreams and goals for themselves

Hobbies: Dancing, being in nature, traveling locally and internationally, watching tv/movies, coloring/sketching, and exploring local arts events, festivals, museums. 

What is your biggest goal for 2025? To center my physical wellness, so my mind has more peace and to make and perform my solo dance performances on international stages. 

Pets, kids, or neither? Neither 

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Yes, but if the views aren’t rooted in Black liberation, in justice, and a radical reimagining of these current systems, nah I don’t want that. 

Celebrity crush? Rutina Wesley

Name one obscure fact about yourself? My spirituality is nature, magical, kinky, and fueled by my imagination.

‘Frighten the Horses: A Memoir’
By Oliver Radclyffe
c.2024, Roxane Books/Grove Atlantic
$28/352 pages

Finding your own way.

It’s a rite of passage for every young person, a necessity on the path to adulthood. You might have had help with it. You might have listened to your heart alone on the quest to find your own way. And sometimes, as in the new memoir, “Frighten the Horses” by Oliver Radclyffe, you may have to find yourself first.

If you had observed Oliver Radclyffe in a random diner a few years ago, you’d have seen a blonde, bubbly, but harried mother with four active children under age seven and a distracted husband. You probably wouldn’t have seen trouble, but it was there.

“Nicky,” as Radclyffe was known then, was simmering with something that was just coming to the forefront.

As a young child, Nicky’d been raised in comfort in a family steeped in genteel British wealth, attended a private all-girl’s school, and never wanted for anything. She left all that behind as a young adult, and embraced the biker lifestyle and everything it entailed. The problem now wasn’t that she missed her old ways; it was that she hated life as a wife and mother. Her dreams were filled with fantasies of “exactly who I was: a man on a motorbike, in love with a woman.”

But being a man? No, that wasn’t quite right.

It took every bit of courage she had to say she was gay, that she thought constantly about women, that she hated sex with men. When she told her husband, he was hurt but mostly unbothered, insisting that she tell absolutely no one. They could remain married and just go forward. Nothing had to change.

But everything had already changed for Nicky.

Once she decided finally to come out, she learned that friends had already suspected. Family was supportive. It would be OK. But as Nicky began to experiment with a newfound freedom to be with women, one thing became clear: having sex with a woman was better when she imagined doing it as a man.

In his opening chapter, author Oliver Radclyffe shares an anecdote about the confusion the father of Radclyffe’s son’s friend had when picking up the friend. Readers may feel the same sentiment.

Fortunately, “Frighten the Horses” gets better — and it gets worse. Radclyffe’s story is riveting, told with a voice that’s distinct, sometimes poker-faced, but compelling; you’ll find yourself agreeing with every bit of his outrage and befuddlement with coming out in a way that feels right. When everything falls into place, it’s a relief for both author and reader.

And yet, it’s hard to get to this point because this memoir is just too long. It lags where you’ll wish it didn’t. It feels like being burrito-wrapped in a heavy-weighted blanket: You don’t necessarily want out, but you might get tired of being in it.

Still, it remains that this peek at transitioning, however painful, is essential reading for anyone who needs to understand how someone figures things out. If that’s you, then consider “Frighten the Horses” and find it.