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Remembering the importance of obituaries

Celebrations of life too often ignored LGBT people

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Mia Henderson, gay news, Washington Blade
obituaries, Remembrance, Black Caucus, gay news, Washington Blade
(Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

The holidays are a time to spend with loved ones — and with mistletoe, Champagne, sparkling cider and making New Year’s resolutions. I love the holiday season with all its stress and sentimentality – from hanging with family to seeing “It’s a Wonderful Life” for the 1,000th time.

But, these festivities wouldn’t be complete for me if I didn’t remember those who died during the year – especially LGBTQ folks who are no longer with us. (Nothing like bringing on the holiday cheer. My pals jokingly call me Dr. Death.)

Joking aside, why do I, each December, find myself reflecting on queer people who’ve passed away? Why does remembering LGBTQ lives mean so much not only to me but to millions of people, hetero and queer?  

Recently, as I compiled for the Blade, a list of the acclaimed LGBTQ people who died in 2018, I asked myself these questions. Typing away, I wondered: I don’t collect death masks or haunt graveyards. Why do I so look forward to writing the “in memoriam” piece?

As a writer and human being, I like nothing better than telling or reading stories. “We tell ourselves stories in order to live,” writer Joan Didion said.

Obituaries — news reports of when and how notable people lived and of what they achieved — are some of the best, most lively, least morbid, stories ever told. Some obits tell of the achievements, affairs and wit of presidents, artists and celebs. Other obituaries tell the stories of people who weren’t famous, but renowned for their eccentric talents – such as creating butter cow sculptures at county fairs.

“It’s counterintuitive, perhaps, but obituaries have next to nothing to do with death and absolutely everything to do with life,” said former New York Times obituary writer Margalit Fox in the documentary “Obit.”

Just this week, I read the touching story of Michael Paul Smith, a gay man, who died earlier this year. Smith, reported the New York Times, founded Elgin Park. This imaginary town exists only in the photographs he took of “vintage model miniature cars” and “tiny hand-built sets,” the Times said.  Smith became famous after his photos went viral when he put them on Flickr in 2010. After his death, a posting (that he wrote before he died) appeared on Flickr.  Smith, it said, had “moved permanently to Elgin Park.” His partner Henry Goldberg survives him.          

Because of homophobia and transphobia, the stories of queer people have often been untold. Until recent times, our stories were largely hidden from history, and even now we struggle to be included in the historical record. Obituaries help us to learn about our history. If we’re absent, as we so often have been, from obits, present and future generations won’t hear our stories. We won’t know our history.

Until recently, the New York Times and other mainstream press outlets didn’t include LGBTQ people in obituaries. Walt Whitman, one of the greatest American poets, who died in 1892, was queer. Yet, you’d never know it from perusing his obituaries. As I’ve noted previously in the Blade, the Times, the newspaper of record, didn’t mention that James Beard was gay when he died in 1983 or that Susan Sontag was queer when she passed away in 2004.

For we who are queer and have lost partners or spouses, how our dead are remembered is personal. The Washington Post added an extra layer of pain to my grief when my partner died when it described me as Anne’s “companion.”

There are reasons why we were often left out of obits. Until a short time ago, when being queer was illegal, surviving partners could have lost jobs if their sexuality or same-sex relationships were revealed.

With marriage equality, this is changing. Increasingly, our stories are being told in obituaries in the mainstream press. To ring in the New Year, raise a glass, to remember our dead and celebrate their lives.

Kathi Wolfe, a writer and a poet, is a regular contributor to the Blade.

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Trump’s return threatens Uganda’s gender equality and trans community

US has played pivotal role in supporting LGBTQ rights around the world

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President Donald Trump (Photo via White House/X)

The last few weeks have seen a dramatic shift in the global landscape ever since Donald Trump returned to the presidency of the United States in January 2025. In just his first few weeks in office, he has rolled out a flurry of executive orders that radically reshape trans rights — most recently banning trans women and girls from participating in women’s sports at federally funded schools. This move, a focal point of his 2024 campaign, accompanies another sweeping directive redefining sex as strictly male or female at birth, effectively denying the legal reality of transgender and nonbinary identities.

This represents a stark departure from recent U.S. policy, which had recognized gender identity as a protected category under federal law, following the Supreme Court’s landmark ruling in Bostock v. Clayton County (2020). Rolling back those precedents and restricting transgender people’s rights across education, housing, healthcare, federal employment, and more, means that the new administration has signaled that it is willing to reverse hard-fought civil rights gains in the name of “restoring biological truth.”

Historically, the United States has played a pivotal role in supporting LGBTQ+ rights worldwide. Over the past decades, U.S. foreign policy, funding initiatives, and diplomatic interventions have often helped protect marginalized groups abroad from violence, discrimination, and stigma. Ugandan civil society organizations, especially those advocating for LGBTQ+ communities, have relied on U.S. backing — both in principle and in practice — by receiving grants, legal support, or endorsements from U.S. diplomatic missions. This assistance has been critical in a country where key population communities, particularly transgender individuals, face rampant societal backlash. Moreover, the recent passage of Uganda’s Anti-Homosexuality Act (AHA) has entrenched an increasingly restrictive and repressive legal framework, fueling widespread societal stigma and discrimination that has intensified at home and is echoed in other parts of the continent.

In Uganda, “transgender” itself is not legally recognized; most identity documents still list only male or female, without mechanisms to update the markers for those who have transitioned or identify outside binary classifications. This makes everyday life a constant struggle, with people facing suspicion or ridicule whenever their physical appearance doesn’t match the gender on their ID.

For transgender Ugandans, accessing healthcare is fraught with challenges. While recent years have seen small pockets of progress — such as a Key Populations desk led by the Ministry of Health and the Uganda AIDS Commission in partnership with various development agencies, as well as a few clinics offering trans-friendly services and modest recognition of transgender-specific needs — these efforts remain precarious and at risk of faltering.

One reason is the chilling effect that new U.S. executive orders may have on international donor funding. If federal agencies are mandated to halt the “promotion” or “support” of what the Trump administration terms “gender ideology,” projects focusing on transgender health, counseling, or HIV prevention may find themselves unable to secure necessary funds. 

Following a sudden directive from PEPFAR, all implementing partners must suspend their activities for 90 days while determining how to proceed under the new executive orders. This abrupt halt severely disrupts Tranz Network Uganda (TNU)’s community-led HIV prevention and treatment programs — funded for essential interventions such as PrEP, ART initiation, HIV testing, health education, and the distribution of condoms and lubricants in trans community hotspots. As a direct result, 52 trans persons on ART now face treatment interruptions, two hundred will lose access to critical prevention kits and lubricants, and health talks planned for one hundred community members are on hold. Beyond these immediate setbacks, the directive endangers broader HIV response gains and disproportionately impacts a population already at high risk and facing systematic marginalization.

For a population that already struggles to access basic care, any interruption or shortfall in medical supplies or specialized training will have dire consequences. Uganda’s trans community also depends on the moral and political support once offered by international partners. If the U.S. signals it no longer treats trans rights as human rights, local leaders who are already hostile to trans people could become more emboldened to adopt harsher measures. That could mean further restrictions on transgender-friendly healthcare, more aggressive policing, and the closure of community centers.

The precarious situation is compounded by existing human rights violations targeting sexual and gender minorities such as the Anti-Homosexuality Act. Transgender Ugandans often face physical violence, arbitrary arrests, and public outing, leading to loss of jobs, denial of housing, and ostracization from families. 

In the past, when local advocates or victims have sought help from foreign embassies or humanitarian agencies, they often turned to offices backed by U.S. funding or support. Now, in the wake of Trump’s orders, a tense atmosphere has arisen — again. Civil society groups are questioning whether they should tailor their programs more conservatively to avoid losing grants. Community leaders warn that a chain reaction could follow: When the U.S. steps away from acknowledging gender identity, local officials who are unsympathetic to transgender individuals see a green light to intensify crackdown efforts.

We must urge the U.S. government to reconsider these orders. At stake are the lives and well-being of people whose dignity and identity are summarily dismissed by a return to rigid definitions of sex and gender. Failing to uphold transgender rights and cutting off resources to supportive programs can worsen Uganda’s strained public health system — particularly for those seeking HIV and mental health services. 

The United States should revisit its role as a leader in upholding the principles of equality and nondiscrimination, principles that once were hallmarks of its global engagement. Local communities and advocacy groups also need continued support and engagement from both governmental and non-governmental U.S. entities, which can influence policy through targeted funding, diplomacy, and public statements affirming that trans rights are human rights.

Moving forward, the administration in Washington should consider preserving or at least carving out exemptions for essential health, legal, and community-building services. If fully reversing these executive orders is politically difficult, then agencies should consult with experts, activists, and members of the transgender community themselves to mitigate harm and ensure that humanitarian needs are not overshadowed by ideological directives. 

Uganda is also party to various regional and international human rights treaties that obligate it to uphold non-discrimination. In August 2023, the Ministry of Health released a press statement mandating that health services be accessible to all without discrimination — a pledge that stands in stark contrast to the current environment following the passage of the AHA. Government officials would do well to honor these commitments by reassuring the local transgender population that essential healthcare remains accessible, and by addressing the urgent need for legal identity mechanisms. Ultimately, dismantling the fragile network of trans-focused support not only imperils those on the margins but also undermines global progress toward fundamental human rights, equality, and compassion — values that should know no borders.

Williams Apako is the executive officer of the Tranz Network Uganda and a board member of the Global Fund’s Uganda Country Coordinating Mechanism.

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I’m nervous about D.C.’s ability to stage WorldPride

Capital Pride’s reluctance to share information raises concerns

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(Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

Are you excited about WorldPride DC? Really? Then you must know more — or much less — than I do. 

As displayed on the WorldPride DC website, festivities begin a little more than three months from now. Click on the “Events” tab and that page lists multiple events, with several of them including information such as the venue and/or a vague synopsis of what will happen. 

Who will perform? There is Shakira, whose current world tour was originally going to bring her to D.C. last November, but that was cancelled and her new date is now designated as the Welcome Ceremony for WorldPride DC. I commend her for being an ally to the LGBTQ community, but I’m curious what modifications will be made to her tour set list and if any LGBTQ people will be on stage. Who else will perform during the (recently moved up to) May 17 to June 8 dates? Capital Pride Alliance announced a call for performers on Jan 13.

To be clear, that announcement was made on Jan. 13 of THIS year, slightly four months ahead of festivities beginning. I share that with astonishment. I state everything above and below with varying degrees of annoyance, consternation, frustration, and alarm. 

Back in 2021, CPA was eagerly competing to win its bid to host WorldPride 2025. All of the excitement led to the announcement, in November 2021, that it was going to Taiwan. However, in August 2022, it was announced that Taiwan and WorldPride consciously uncoupled, and, in November 2022, it was announced that the proposal of jilted runner-up D.C. had been accepted. 

Even with my low expectations, I did not think that timeline would lead to a purportedly international event happening in less than 20 weeks having merely one announced performer, events with TBA venues, and little happening that wouldn’t be unusual for a typical annual Capital Pride celebration. 

Perhaps I don’t know enough. Maybe this rollout is typical for festivals and other major events. What is the appropriate comparison? Is it Coachella or Comic-Con? Or is it Carnival or the Olympics? Maybe they are on track with what New York or Sydney did in 2019 and 2023, respectively. Maybe they are waiting, for some reason, to make announcements that may come too late to entice people to attend and participate in WorldPride DC. 

Or perhaps I know too much. I know who isn’t booked for WorldPride DC. I know what things could have happened. I know what I’ve heard in meetings and conversations, including Capital Pride’s reluctance to share substantial information or bring in outside experts. I know countless bits of miscellaneous information that cause me trepidation. I have had contact with numerous people, including performers, leaders of organizations, and subcommittee members, and not once has anyone said anything that assuaged my concerns.

Unlike the opening of D.C.’s new LGBTQ community center, WorldPride DC won’t be delayed and is definitely happening this year. What we don’t know is what exactly is happening. 

Presumably, Capital Pride had plans when the bid was made in 2021. But maybe they didn’t start planning until the announcement in ’22. Or perhaps they waited until some time in March 2023, after recovering from traveling to Australia for WorldPride.

When did bookings begin? Perhaps they started with A-list stars and are still working their way through the latter part of the alphabet. Who is likely not available are the activists in other countries who, in addition to planning for travel and lodging, have to contend with passports, visas, and other bureaucratic concerns. Not everyone has the luxury to be spontaneous. 

In my former role as Creative Director of Team Rayceen Productions, I was willing to be of service. TRP was ready to partner. We had ideas, but since Capital Pride didn’t express interest, I assumed they had big plans. 

Perhaps you know just enough: the infrequency of announcements; the lack of information; the late call for performers; the truncated Capital Pride Heroes nomination process. 

Ultimately, the fact that you know so little may be all you need to know. 


Zar is the monomynous founder and former Creative Director of Team Rayceen Productions. Zar led TRP for more than 10 years and has lived in the Capital region all of his life. The impetus for his recent resignation and the indefinite hiatus of TRP is the new presidential administration.

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Week 3 of President Musk and President Felon

An evil SOB with no respect for the truth

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Elon Musk (Photo by shganti777/Bigstock)

We are seeing the hand of Elon Musk, yes, the same Musk who gives the Nazi salute, and tells the Germans to move on and forget about their Nazi past, in every area of our government. He claims to be proud of sleeping in the office President Felon has given him as part of his DOGE work, in the Eisenhower Federal Office Building, and is interfering in every agency, apparently at will. We were told a top Treasury official left the agency after Musk demanded access to the Social Security payment system. He and his lackeys, not government employees, now have access to that, and the entire Treasury Department’s payment system. Guess the Trump coup is nearly complete.

It is said Musk is behind all the confusing memos to federal employees about resigning, and taking private sector jobs. He is interfering in the FAA and now it is reported that he is behind telling FAA employees to retire. President Felon is not just silently going along with all this, he is enabling it. He is doing his own damage by threatening to fire any FBI employee who was involved, in any way, in the cases against him, or his friends. He is clearly creating havoc. His Secretary of Defense just removed NBC, NPR, New York Times, and Politico from offices – replacing them with Breitbart and One America News.

Trump took the occasion of the horrific plane crash over the Potomac, in which 67 perished, to make political hay and blame Obama, Biden, and DEI policies at the FAA. Trump slapped tariffs on Mexico, Canada, and China, and says those countries will pay. He lies! He says everyone will accept higher grocery, oil, and automobile, prices. Calling Trump a moron is polite, he is actually an evil SOB with no respect for the truth. 

He is targeting the transgender community in every area of their lives. From receiving appropriate healthcare, to trying to kick them out of the military, where they have served as patriots, with honor, defending our country. He is making them the focal point of his efforts to hurt the LGBTQ community because they are the easy target. If we don’t stand up for them, and stand with them, as members of the LGBTQ community, then we are next. Let us not be fooled by his naming a few gay and lesbian people to his administration. Let us not be fooled because he has the support of the clearly self-loathing Log Cabin Republicans, who support him for their jobs. Why is his gay Treasury Secretary not speaking up for the transgender community? Why is his lesbian spokesperson at the Department of State, not speaking up? We know it’s because they want their jobs, and that is likely the nicest thing I can say about their silence.

Then we have what we once called the free press. Why was it only Kaitlin Collins of CNN who questioned Trump on his outrageous remarks at the press conference after the crash over the Potomac? And where was the free press when Karoline Leavitt, his press secretary, used the terms transgenderism and woke, at her first press conference? Why didn’t they ask her what the term “woke” means to the Trump administration, what it means to President Felon, and acting President Musk? Why is the press not camped out at the door of Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump, asking them what they think of the Nazi sympathies of their father’s best friend Musk. Asking them if they vaccinated their children, and do they suggest other parents do the same? 

Do I sound angry? You bet I am. I am watching all this insanity as an openly gay, Jewish, man. I wrote in my recently published memoir, and actually thought, when I came out at the age of  34 in 1981, that it would all get easier for future generations. Now we are back to a time when young people could again be afraid to come out, because those they thought would speak out for them, are silent. Was I lying to them? We are again reminded of all those signs, SILENCE = DEATH, that were at the early LGBTQ marches. It is still true. The silence of so many who I know, who don’t like what is happening, is deafening. Is the Trevor Project slogan, “It Gets Better,” a lie? 

We can still overcome. We must all speak out and not go quietly into the night. If we speak out, defend ourselves, our neighbors, our families, we will save our democracy. 


Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist.

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