Middle East
Brother of Israeli hostage visits D.C.
Gili Roman says his sister supported him when he came out
Gili Roman and his sister, Yarden Roman-Gat, have always been close.
“We are best friends,” Roman told the Washington Blade on Monday during an interview in D.C. “We understood each other without words, with words. We always stand for each other.”
Roman was 26 when he came out as gay to his parents. He told his sister several months later when they were on vacation in Vietnam. Roman said she was “very angry at me that I came out to our parents before I told her.”
“She said, ‘I don’t believe you told me after our parents,'” recalled Roman. “With my parents it wasn’t easy, but with her it was super easy and she was super excited for me because she wanted me to have this open and happy life.”
Roman spoke with the Blade less than a month after Hamas militants kidnapped his sister.
Roman-Gat and her husband, Alon Gat, lived in Be’eri, a kibbutz that is near the border between Israel and the Gaza Strip, for four years. They and Gefen, their 3-year-old daughter, moved in September because of what Roman described as “all the safety issues, and the missile attacks.”
“She wasn’t willing to tolerate that anymore,” said Roman.
‘For us it’s like a Holocaust story’
Roman-Gat, a physical therapist who works with elderly people and those with physical and mental health issues, and her family had just returned to Israel after a vacation in South Africa when they decided to spend the Simchat Torah holiday with Gat’s parents in Be’eri. They were in their home on Oct. 7 when Hamas launched its surprise attack.
Roman, 39, lives in Tel Aviv, which is roughly 50 miles north of Be’eri. He said air raid sirens woke him and his sister up at around 6:30 a.m. on Oct. 7.
“When it happens, usually we send a text message to find out that they’re also fine because for them, the time to get to the shelter is much shorter.” said Roman, noting people who live around Gaza have seconds to take shelter when militants launch a rocket. People who live in Tel Aviv have 90 seconds to seek refuge. “After the second missile alarm, I turned on the TV and understood that this is not the regular routine.”
“We started to see terrorists infiltrating different towns around the kibbutz,” he added.
Roman in a series of text messages to his sister asked her if she had locked the door to the safe room to which she and her family had gone and whether anyone had a weapon. Roman-Gat texted her brother every 30 minutes in order to keep their family updated about what was happening.
“She would text me either a heart or a small conversation,” recalled Roman.
Roman said he last heard from his sister at around 10 a.m. He told the Blade the “terrorists entered the house and took them” about 20 minutes later.
“At first I just thought that they lost connection,” said Roman. “We didn’t know exactly what happened.”
Roman, a member of the Israel Defense Force’s reserves, said he was preparing to deploy to the country’s border with Lebanon with his unit when he and his family “started to understand that something really bad was happening in Be’eri.” Roman-Gat’s father-in-law later told Roman he had been “separated from the rest of the family.”
“He was still in the house, and he saw all of his family members taken separately,” said Roman.
Roman told the Blade he received a video a few hours later that showed his sister’s mother-in-law and three of her neighbors “being taken through the street next to their house with a few terrorists surrounding them.” He said Israeli media reports incorrectly suggested the militants took them to the kibbutz’ dining hall and planned to negotiate their release.
Roman said Gat called him at around 7:30 a.m. on Oct. 8 and told him what had happened the previous day.
Media reports indicate four militants placed Roman-Gat, Gat, their daughter and two other Be’eri residents into a car. One of them had reportedly been placed into the trunk.
Roman-Gat and Gat jumped out of the car with their daughter as it approached Gaza. Roman said the militants began to run after them. He told the Blade they were shooting at them when his sister handed her daughter to her husband because he was able to run faster.
Gat hid with his daughter for 18 hours before they reached IDF soldiers at Be’eri. He told Roman he last saw his wife hiding behind a tree to protect herself from the militants who were shooting at her.
“For us it’s like a Holocaust story,” said Roman. “It’s a horror story, the worst horror story that you can imagine … the evil of it, of running, chasing an innocent family with a family.”
Roman told the Blade he put on his IDF uniform and drove to Be’eri on Oct. 8.
“Once you started to go to the South, it was like what you’ve seen in the movies: Battlefields, everything was on fire,” he recalled. “You saw bodies scattered along the along the road, and you saw the cars all scattered with bullets because people were killed while driving.”
Hamas militants were still around Be’eri when Roman arrived. He said two of them “tackled” them and “were shooting at us.”
“The officers had to get out of the car, kill them and get back,” said Roman.
He said it took a couple of days for the IDF to clear the militants from the area. Search crews were then able to mount large scale searches for those who were killed or kidnapped.
Roman said his brother-in-law was able to find the tree behind which Roman-Gat had been hiding. He told the Blade the searchers determined the militants had once again captured her and brought her into Gaza because they found her bare footprint next to a shoe print.
“They saw they didn’t go much farther from the tree,” said Roman. “They assume that somebody was carrying her.”
Roman said Hamas on Oct. 10 released a video that showed his sister’s mother-in-law and her three neighbors with whom she had been taken at the “end of the street in their own pool of blood.” Roman told the Blade that her husband and sons saw it on social media.
The militants also kidnapped Roman-Gat’s sister-in-law. Roman said the family believes that she too is now in Gaza.
Gat and his daughter are now living with Roman’s father at his home in Givatym, a city that is just outside of Tel Aviv.
Roman said his niece understands there were “bad people in front of their house, their safe place and took them and she was supposed to hide.” He also said she knows that he and his family are working to find her mother.
“They were inseparable,” said Roman.
Roman’s mother passed away 10 months ago. He said his niece was “very close to both of” her grandmothers.
Roman told the Blade his sister’s father-in-law is “doing his best.” He said he visits his family in Givatym every day.
“He’s a refuge in his own country,” said Roman. “He lost his wife, and his daughter is kidnapped and his daughter-in-law is kidnapped. It is very, very tough on him.”
Roman, 39, is a teacher who was previously the principal of the Eastern Mediterranean International School near Tel Aviv.
The school’s mission is to make “education a force for peace and sustainability in the Middle East.” Israelis, Palestinians and Arabs are among the students.
Roman has been a member of the Nemos LGBTQ+ Swimming Club for the last five years.
The Jewish Federations of North America brought Roman and his cousin to the U.S. They will travel to New York before returning to Israel next week.
CNN’s Jake Tapper is among the other reporters with whom Roman has spoken about his sister, who is also a German citizen. Roman noted he celebrated her 36th birthday last month when he spoke at a pro-Israel rally in Berlin that more than 20,000 people attended.
“It was very powerful, but also very evident that she was not there,” he said.
Roman when he spoke with the Blade was wearing a black baseball hat that read “Bring Yarden home now.” He also had a dog tag around his neck that had the Star of David on it and “bring them home now” engraved in Hebrew.
More than 1,400 Israelis have been killed since the war began. This figure includes at least 260 people who Hamas militants murdered at an all-night music festival in Re’im, a kibbutz that is a few miles away from Be’eri. Thousands of other Israelis have been injured and Roman-Gat is among the 240 people who militants from Hamas and other Muslim extremist groups kidnapped.
Hamas rockets have reached Beersheba, Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, Ben Gurion Airport and other locations throughout central and southern Israel. Media reports indicate Hezbollah, which the U.S. and Israel have designated a terrorist organization alongside Hamas, has attacked IDF posts and launched rockets from Lebanon into northern Israel.
The Hamas-controlled Gaza Health Ministry says Israeli airstrikes have killed more than 8,000 people and injured thousands of others in the enclave.
The Israeli government’s decision to cut electricity, water and food and fuel shipments to Gaza has made the humanitarian crisis in the territory even worse. The IDF’s ground incursion into the enclave began on Oct. 27.
Gazan authorities on Tuesday said an IDF airstrike in the Jabaliya refugee camp near Gaza City left hundreds of people dead or injured. The Associated Press reported the IDF said it killed a Hamas commander and dozens of other militants.
Calls for a ceasefire continue to grow louder around the world. Acts of antisemitism and Islamophobia have also increased in the U.S. and in other countries since Oct. 7.
Roman specifically applauded the Biden-Harris administration and the German government for their response to the war.
He said he “understands” and “relates” to some of the criticisms against Israel. Roman also acknowledged the “liberal world” and the “progressive world” and the global LGBTQ community “is very divided” on the war.
“I understand why people are hurting because of the lives that are lost right now in Gaza,” he told the Blade. “It’s not easy for me as well. I probably know more Palestinians than the people here.”
Roman said Hamas has “done harm to the Palestinian cause.”
“What happened in the South is not a Palestinian story,” he told the Blade. “The Palestinian ambition for liberty and for self-independence is very legitimate, but the jihadistic ambition is completely illegitimate.”
“It’s not something that anyone should justify in any way,” added Roman. “It’s pure evil, the desire to murder anyone who is either not Muslim or supports the ambition to create a Muslim empire.”
Oct. 7 was ‘the biggest failure of the Israeli state’
Roman pointed out he did not vote for Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and did not support the right-wing coalition government he formed late last year. Roman also noted he supported the protest movement against the proposed reforms to the country’s judicial system that activists said would harm LGBTQ Israelis.
He described Oct. 7 as “the biggest failure of the Israeli state.” Roman also reiterated the constant threats of rockets from Gaza is the reason that his sister and her family moved away from Be’eri.
“My sister wasn’t willing to accept it and I wasn’t going to accept it, but what can we do,” he said. “We are not government officials, but for years the world has accepted, Israel has accepted that we are consistently under fire, and this is how it let it happen.”
Roman told the Blade it is going to “take a while to control Hamas” and for the IDF to have military and political control in Gaza. He also said Hamas has a lot of support in the West Bank.
“It’s not something that you are being done with like a month or two,” said Roman. “It’s very necessary, but it’s going to be extremely hard.”
Roman told the Blade he is most concerned about what will happen once the war ends.
“There could be compromise with the Palestinians as a national entity, as a people, but there can be no compromise with the jihadists,” he said. “As long as they prevail and as long as they are in power and as long as they get so much support from the Palestinian people, you cannot even sit at the table and discuss. What can you discuss? They want you to be eliminated. There is no conversation.”
“We need to get to the point where the Palestinians realize that those two missions cannot be together,” added Roman. “They cannot wish to eradicate us and also get independence alongside us.”
He said Israelis also “need to get a lot of trust they didn’t have in the first place in the intentions and ambitions of the Palestinians and of the Arabs around us.”
Lebanon
Lebanese LGBTQ group responds to latest war
Helem’s Beirut community center ‘a vital crisis hub’
A Lebanese advocacy group is providing support to LGBTQ people who have been displaced during the latest war between Israel and Hezbollah.
Helem Executive Director Sandy Mteirik on Monday told the Washington Blade her group, in partnership with another NGO, has “shifted our programs to focus entirely on emergency response.”
Helem has opened what Mteirik described as a “lifesaving, inclusive shelter specifically for transgender individuals who find collective shelters unsafe or inaccessible.”
Mteirik noted Helem’s community center in Beirut, the Lebanese capital, “now serves as a vital crisis hub where” LGBTQ people “can find physical safety, psychological support, and relief assistance.” she told the Blade that Helem is also offering “confidential emotional support, assessing immediate needs, and connecting individuals with emergency housing and protection services.”
“We also continue to monitor and document protection risks to prevent further exclusion and harm,” said Mteirik.
‘Displacement crisis has intensified’
The U.S. and Israel on Feb. 28 launched airstrikes against Iran. One of them killed Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.
Hezbollah, an Iran-backed Shia militant group the U.S. has designated a terrorist organization, in response launched rockets into Israel. The Jewish State on March 2 began to carry out airstrikes against Hezbollah in Lebanon.
The Lebanese Health Ministry on Tuesday said Israeli airstrikes have killed 2,124 people and wounded 6,921 others. Lebanese officials have also indicated the war has displaced more than 1 million people in the country.
Israeli airstrikes in Beirut and elsewhere in the country on April 8 killed more than 300 people and injured upwards of 1,100.
President Donald Trump the day before said “a whole civilization will die tonight” if Iran did not agree to end the war and end its blockade of the Strait of Hormuz, a strategic waterway that connects the Persian Gulf and the Gulf of Oman through which roughly 20 percent of the world’s crude oil passes.
Trump less than two hours before the deadline announced a two-week ceasefire with Iran that Pakistan helped broker. Trump said the deal did not include Lebanon, even though Pakistan insisted it did.
Hamas militants on Oct. 7, 2023, killed upwards of 1,200 people when they launched a surprise attack against Israel from the Gaza Strip. Hezbollah the following day began to launch rockets into Israel.
An Israeli airstrike in Beirut on Sept. 27, 2024, killed Hassan Nasrallah, Hezbollah’s long-time leader. Iran four days later launched upwards of 200 ballistic missiles at Israel.
The U.S. helped broker a ceasefire between Israel and Lebanon that took effect on Nov. 27, 2024. Israel nevertheless continued to carry out airstrikes in Lebanon.
Lebanese Ambassador to the U.S. Nada Hamadeh Moawad met with Israeli Ambassador to the U.S. Yechiel Leiter on Tuesday at the State Department. The meeting is the first time the two countries have held direct diplomatic talks since 1993.
Mteirik told the Blade that Helem’s community center “has not been damaged yet” in the latest war. She said, however, the impact of the April 8 airstrikes “mirrors the ongoing war Lebanon has endured since 2024.”
“The intensity of these recent strikes and the resulting massacres in ‘relatively’ safe areas of Beirut have been devastating,” said Mteirik.
“With over 300 victims, the displacement crisis has intensified,” she added. “When state responses are not inclusive, LGBTQIA+ individuals face amplified risks, including exclusion from collective shelters, homelessness, exposure to violence, loss of income, and barriers to essential healthcare.”
Helem: Lebanese government war response must be LGBTQ-inclusive
Article 534 of Lebanon’s Penal Code states “any sexual intercourse contrary to the order of nature is punishable” by up to a year in prison. Several judges in recent years have opted not to use the statute to prosecute LGBTQ people who have been charged under it.
Helem on March 4 called upon the Lebanese government and international NGOs to develop a response to the Israeli airstrikes that is “comprehensive, fair, and inclusive of all groups, without exception or discrimination.” Helem’s specific requests include:
• Integrating a rights-based, non-discriminatory approach into all stages of emergency planning.
• Training response staff on protection principles regarding gender-based violence and discrimination.
• Reassessing the “traditional family” shelter model that systematically excludes non-traditional families and individuals.
• Involving specialized civil society organizations in the design and monitoring of response plans.
• Establishing clear accountability standards to prevent discriminatory practices.
“Past experiences show that state response plans often fail to include displaced LGBTQ+ individuals,” said Mteirik.
Mteirik conceded the “conclusion of this conflict remains uncertain.” She stressed Helem “remains committed to standing with our community.”
“In these difficult times, we reaffirm our call for humanitarian solidarity that transcends identities,” said Mteirik. “Our work is an extension of our rejection of violence, occupation, and the exploitation of individuals and their lives.”
Iran
LGBTQ groups condemn Trump’s threat to destroy Iranian civilization
Ceasefire announced less than two hours before Tuesday deadline
The Council for Global Equality is among the groups that condemned President Donald Trump on Tuesday over his latest threats against Iran.
Trump in a Truth Social post said “a whole civilization will die tonight” if Tehran did not reach an agreement with the U.S. by 8 p.m. ET on Tuesday.
Iran is among the handful of countries in which consensual same-sex sexual relations remain punishable by death.
Israel and the U.S. on Feb. 28 launched airstrikes against Iran.
One of them killed Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. Iran in response launched missiles and drones against Israel and other countries that include Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, the United Arab Emirates, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Azerbaijan, and Cyprus.
Gas prices in the U.S. and around the world continue to increase because the war has essentially closed the Strait of Hormuz, a strategic waterway that connects the Persian Gulf and the Gulf of Oman through which roughly 20 percent of the world’s crude oil passes.
Trump less than 90 minutes before his deadline announced a two-week ceasefire with Iran that Pakistan helped broker.
“We the undersigned human rights, humanitarian, civil liberties, faith-based and environmental organizations, think tanks and experts are deeply alarmed by President Trump’s threat regarding Iran that ‘a whole civilization will die tonight’ if his demands are not met. Such language describes a grave atrocity if carried out,” reads the statement that the Council for Global Equality more than 200 other organizations and human rights experts signed. “A threat to wipe out ‘a whole civilization’ may amount to a threat of genocide. Genocide is a crime defined by the Genocide Convention and by the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court as committing one or more of several acts ‘with intent to destroy in whole or in part a national, racial or religious groups as such.'”
The statement states “the law is clear that civilians must not be targeted, and they must also be protected from indiscriminate or disproportionate attacks.”
“Strikes on civilian infrastructure — such as the recent attack on a bridge and the attacks President Trump is repeatedly threatening to carry out to destroy power plants — have devastating consequences for the civilian population and environment,” it reads.
“We urge all parties to respect international law,” adds the statement. “Those responsible for atrocities, including crimes against humanity and war crimes, can and must be held accountable.”
The Alliance for Diplomacy and Justice, Amnesty International USA, Human Rights Watch, the American Civil Liberties Union, the NAACP, MADRE, and the Robert and Ethel Kennedy Human Rights Center are among the other groups that signed the letter.
The Washington Blade on Wednesday spoke with Max Polonsky, a queer American who lives in Israel, about the Iran war and its impact on the country.
“It’s been tiring,” Polonsky told the Blade during a telephone interview from his home in Jaffa, an ancient port city with a large Arab population that is now part of Tel Aviv.
Polonsky grew up in Cherry Hill, N.J. He lived in D.C. for eight years before he moved to Israel in March 2022.
Israel and the U.S. on Feb. 28 launched airstrikes against Iran.
One of them killed Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. Iran in response launched missiles and drones against Israel and other countries that include Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, the United Arab Emirates, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Azerbaijan, and Cyprus.
An Iranian missile on March 1 killed nine people and injured 27 others in Beit Shemesh, an Israeli town that is roughly 20 miles west of Jerusalem. Shrapnel from an Iranian missile that struck a hair salon in Beit Awa, a Palestinian town in the West Bank, on Wednesday killed four women and injured more than a dozen others.
An Iranian drone that hit a command center in Kuwait on March 1 killed six U.S. soldiers: Sgt. Declan Coady, Sgt. 1st Class Nicole Amor, Capt. Cody Khork, Sgt. 1st Class Noah Tietjens, Chief Warrant Officer 3 Robert Marzan, and Maj. Jeffrey O’Brien. Another American servicemember, Sgt. Benjamin Pennington, died on March 8, a week after Iranian drones and missiles targeted the Prince Sultan Air Base in Saudi Arabia.
Iranian drones and missiles have damaged hotels, airports, oil refineries, and other civilian and energy infrastructure in the United Arab Emirates, Kuwait, Qatar, and elsewhere. Israel on Wednesday attacked Iran’s South Pars natural gas field in the Persian Gulf.
The Associated Press notes roughly 20 percent of the world’s crude oil passes through the Strait of Hormuz that connects the Persian Gulf and the Gulf of Oman. Gas prices in the U.S. and around the world continue to increase because the war has essentially closed the strategic waterway to ship traffic.
The war also left hundreds of thousands of people who were traveling in the Middle East stranded.
The Blade on March 6 spoke with Mario, who had stopped in his native Lebanon while traveling from the U.S. to India for work.
Mario was about to board a flight at Rafic Hariri International Airport in Beirut, the Lebanese capital, on Feb. 28 when the war began and authorities closed the country’s airspace. Mario is now back in the U.S.
Polonsky told the Blade there were “alarms all day … sometimes multiple alarms an hour, sometimes every hour, every two hours” on Feb. 28.
Israel’s Home Front Command typically issues warnings about 10 minutes ahead of an anticipated Iranian missile attack. Sirens then sound 90 seconds before an expected strike.
People in Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, and in other cities in central Israel have 90 seconds to seek shelter if a rocket or missile is fired from Lebanon or the Gaza Strip. (Hezbollah, an Iran-backed Shia militant group in Lebanon that Israel and the U.S. have designated a terrorist organization, launched rockets at the Jewish State after Khamenei’s death. Israel, in turn, continues to carry out airstrikes against Hezbollah targets in Lebanon. Hamas militants on Oct. 7, 2023, killed upwards of 1,200 people when they launched a surprise attack against Israel from the Gaza Strip.) People who live close to Lebanon and Gaza have 15 seconds to seek shelter.
Polonsky has a safe room — known as a “mamad” — in his apartment. Polonsky also uses it as his home office and a second bedroom.
He told the Blade the alerts in recent days have become less frequent.
“We’ll get maybe a handful of alarms during the day, maybe some at night,” said Polonsky.
Israel on June 12, 2025, launched airstrikes against Iran that targeted the country’s nuclear and military facilities. The subsequent war, which lasted 12 days, prompted the cancellation of Tel Aviv’s annual Pride parade. An Iranian missile destroyed Mash Central, the city’s last gay bar.
Iran on Oct. 1, 2024, launched upwards of 200 ballistic missiles at Israel. This reporter arrived in Israel three days later to cover the first anniversary of Oct. 7 and the impact the subsequent war in the Gaza Strip had on LGBTQ Israelis and Palestinians.
‘Iranian regime was bad’
Polonsky admitted he doesn’t “know what to think” about the latest war against Iran.
“I don’t know what I think about the war,” he said. “Ultimately what happens is just not in my personal control: whatever Donald Trump, [Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin] Netanyahu, the ayatollah, whoever is running Iran are going to organize and launch attacks and reach any deals is not anything I personally have any control over, so I try to just kind of let that aspect of it go as I’m living my life.”
Polonsky told the Blade he understands “there are very serious questions about how” the war started, and Congress’s role in it.
“Those are serious and valid, important questions,” he said. “And at the same time, the Iranian regime was bad.”
Polonsky noted Iran has supported and funded Hezbollah, Hamas, Houthi rebels in Yemen, and other groups “who were attacking Israel.” Polonsky added the Iranian government has “terribly oppressed their people.”
Iran is among the handful of countries in which consensual same-sex sexual relations remain punishable by death.
Reports indicate Iranian authorities killed upwards of 30,000 people during anti-government protests that began late last year. Sources with whom the Blade spoke said LGBTQ Iranians are among those who participated in the demonstrations.
“I’m not sad to see them pressured,” said Polonsky, referring to the Iranian regime.
He also described Khamenei as “a bad guy.”
“Him not being there is better,” said Polonsky.
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