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YEAR IN REVIEW: Best quips and quotes

From classic lines to mammoth blunders, gay topics kept tongues wagging

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Ricky Martin at a book signing. (Photo courtesy of Socialite Life)

 

“I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.”

— Pop singer Ricky Martin, in a coming out message on his website which cited his two sons as his inspiration to speak out (Rickymartinmusic.com, March 29)

“You know if I could go back in time, I would lez it up 24 hours. Believe me, one thing I would not miss? Balls. Terrible little things.”

Betty White in the “Gingey” skit, one of several with gay jokes that were part of her May 8 appearance as host of “Saturday Night Live.” (NBC.com, May 8)

“Tired Gay succumbs to Dix in 200 meters”

Headline on a July 3 Reuters article about Walter Dix beating Tyson Gay in the 200 meters at the Prefontaine Classic Diamond League track meet. (Reuters.com, July 3)

“Please spare me the 40-minute dissertation on how fabulous ‘Glee’ is. It’s 2010. You can just come right out and say you’re gay.”

Comedian Bill Maher in his “New Rules for Emmy,” a humorous take on the Aug. 29 television awards broadcast (HollywoodReporter.com, Aug. 26)

“When I sit here and I hear adulterers and womanizers and folks cheating on their wives and down-low brothers saying they are going to vote against this [civil unions] bill, it turns my stomach … We know what you do at night!”

Illinois State Sen. Rickey Hendon (D-Chicago) as the Illinois Senate debated a bill to offer civil unions to gay couples, which passed Dec. 1. The governor has pledged to sign it into law. (Queerty.com, Dec. 1)

“What I really meant was that the sound of the guitar is very happy.”

—Former Guns N’ Roses guitarist Slash, backtracking after initially saying the guitar hook on Michael Jackson’s “Black or White” was “gay.” (Spinner, March 15)

“I feel like the biggest weight is off my shoulders, Publicity stunt my ass, this is my life.”

Momentary lesbian Kim Zolciak on Twitter (TV Guide, March 24)

“I would not be surprised if Oprah is gay. If she is, she is. It certainly fits.”

Author Erica Jong, a friend of talk show maven Oprah Winfrey, as quoted in Kitty Kelley’s new book, “Oprah: A Biography.” (USA Today, April 11)

“There are half a million kids in foster care in America. To have public officials deem homosexuals unworthy of parenting is disastrous for the nation, for equality and for humanity and, Mike, for Christianity.”

Lesbian comedian and talk show host Rosie O’Donnell in an April 24 chat with former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee on her Sirius radio show. Huckabee, who ran for president in 2008 and may run in 2012, criticized gay adoption last month by saying that “children are not puppies.” (New York Daily News, April 24)

“What I’m saying is that I think the ideal environment for children is in a relationship that has both a mother and a father.”

Mike Huckabee, attempting to explain his remarks to Rosie O’Donnell. (New York Daily News, April 24)

“I prayed every day for God to change me and it was, ‘Dear God, please don’t let me be gay. I promise to be a good person.’ … Young people in every corner of America are being told by their churches … that they are damaged goods and they are not. I have to stand up. I’m in a unique position.”

Chely Wright on why she decided to come out publicly (Toronto Sun, May 19)

 

“I promise you I did not kiss her and it is ridiculous that two entertainers can’t even rock out with each other without the media making it some type of story.”

Pop singer Miley Cyrus, 17, defending her recent performance on “Britain’s Got Talent,” in which the Daily Mail reported she simulated a kiss — but did not actually touch lips — with a female backup dancer. (Us Magazine, June 5)

“I think if two people love each other, then what the hell? I think that everyone should have the chance to be equally miserable, if they want.”

Rapper Eminem, who has previously been criticized for anti-gay lyrics, supporting gay marriage in an interview with the New York Times Magazine (The Guardian, June 18)

“Please don’t tell me that God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. If the Bible story is literally true, who did Cain marry?”

Cox newspapers columnist Cynthia Tucker, arguing that allowing same-sex couples to marry will not weaken heterosexual marriage (AJC.com, June 18)

“I think I’ve been in every gay club from New York to California. I would be in clubs with my recorders in my pocket, taping people talking. But at the end of the day, I drew more from my sisters and my mother. I’ve been mimicking them my whole life. They’re in my bones.”

Actor Nelsan Ellis, who is straight, on how he creates the character of Lafayette, the flamboyant gay Louisiana man he portrays on HBO’s vampire series “True Blood.” (Philadelphia Inquirer, July 4)

“Like maybe I’m having a clandestine affair with Ricky Martin. I know it’s really gonna upset a lot of gay men — I’m sure hundreds of ’em are gonna be jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge — but I ain’t available. I ain’t gay. Sorry.”

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) responding in a New York Times interview to long-standing rumors about his sexual orientation (WLTX.com, July 1)

“To boost development, a city needs to be open to a full range of people, especially the innovative ones who break barriers, like people of the gay community.”

Houston Mayor Annise Parker, the first openly gay mayor of a major U.S. city, in remarks at the Shanghai World Expo. Parker led a 60-member Houston business delegation to the Chinese city. (Xinhua, Aug. 2)

“You have a rare opportunity to right a wrong and I pray to God that you will take it. As an African American you understand the ugliness of hate and the pain of discrimination. This is not a battle of heterosexual against homosexual, but a struggle of justice against injustice.”

Black LGBT activist C.D. Kirven in an open letter to Alveda King, niece of Martin Luther King Jr., requesting a meeting to discuss King’s claim that gay marriage is “genocide” at a recent anti-gay marriage rally in Atlanta (Cherrygrrl.com, Aug. 9)

“I believe that Thomas Jefferson said: ‘If it neither breaks my leg nor picks my pocket what difference is it to me?’”

Conservative talk show host Glenn Beck, when asked on “The O’Reilly Factor” if he thinks gay marriage is “going to harm the country.” (Washingtonpost.com, Aug. 12)

“So, get this: David and I are expecting twins this fall. We’re super excited/nervous/thrilled.”

Actor Neil Patrick Harris, announcing via Twitter that he and his partner, David Burtka, will become parents via surrogacy. The babies were born in October. (USMagazine.com, Aug. 14)

“I always am confused why they don’t worry about shows that don’t have any gay characters on them. They should put some focus on them as well, but we’ll give the audience exactly what they need.”

Eric Stonestreet, who plays Cam on the ABC series “Modern Family,” on how his character will finally kiss partner Mitchell on the hit show – but allegedly not because of a Facebook campaign and other critics clamoring for a gay kiss (E! Online, Aug. 23)

“This church asks me to be in the closet about my sexual orientation and about my faith. I am a Christian lesbian pastor who marries heterosexual couples and lesbian and gay couples; I cannot lie about either part of me nor would I ask any pastor to do this.”

Rev. Jane Spahr, during testimony in her Presbyterian Church trial for marrying same-sex couples. Spahr was found guilty and censured. (New York Times, Aug. 28)

“And thank you to all the gays for remaking this video over and over again.”

Lady Gaga, accepting the Video Music Award for Best Female Video for her song “Bad Romance.” (MTV.com, Sept. 12)

“I think we should just try to make heterosexual divorce illegal.”

Iconic filmmaker John Waters on how gay and lesbian couples can achieve marriage equality. (Associated Press, Sept. 13)

“All women are lesbians except those that don’t know it yet.”

Lesbian feminist writer and cultural critic Jill Johnston, author of “Lesbian Nation,” during a 1971 debate over feminism. Johnston died Sept. 18 at age 81. (New York Times, Sept. 21)

“One of the reasons I was interested in exploring this character is we don’t often see a guy my age gay on television, explored in an intelligent, dignified, funny, serious way. So I thought, when David approached me with it three years ago and said, what if Saul’s gay? I said, bring it on.”

Actor Ron Rifkin on Uncle Saul, the older, newly out, HIV-positive man he plays on the ABC series “Brother and Sisters,” which premiered its new season last week. (Advocate.com, Sept. 23)

“I know what it’s like to be bullied and teased every single day, and I know that it may seem like there is no chance of happiness left. But I promise you there is a world full of acceptance and love just waiting for you to find it.”

Actor Chris Colfer, who plays Kurt Hummel on “Glee,” in a PSA for The Trevor Project, a national 24-hour, toll-free confidential hotline for gay and questioning youth. (TrevorProject.org)

 

“With a voice like this, you know I got to be a New Yorker. But I’m also an American. And to me that means justice and equality and liberty for everyone.”

Actress Fran Drescher in a video for a new Human Rights Campaign ad series that urging New Yorkers to support gay marriage. (On Top Magazine, Oct. 21)

“After a hurricane comes a rainbow.”

Lyric from “Firework,” the new Katy Perry song that includes two boys kissing in the music video. The New York Times noted the current string of gay-inclusive pop songs. (New York Times, Nov. 5)

“It will completely get rid of Gloria Gaynor’s ‘I Will Survive’ as the gay anthem.”

Sir Elton John on the title track to Lady GaGa’s new album, “Born this Way,” set to be released in early 2011. (Entertainment Weekly via the New York Times, Nov. 5)

“Death threats, and the now-worldwide controversy surrounding your election of me as bishop, have been a constant strain, not just on me, but on my beloved husband, Mark, who has faithfully stood with me every minute of the last seven years, and in some ways, you.”

U.S. Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson, who became the Anglican Communion’s first openly gay bishop in 2003, announcing his retirement seven years early (The Guardian, Nov. 7)

“I don’t think any gay person is going to be happy and bring joy to themselves and other people unless they can be honest about their sexuality, and if other people don’t like that honestly, that’s a comment on them and not on the person who is being honest.”

Actor Sir Ian McKellen, who came out in 1988, expressing his fear that some managers and agents continue to pressure gay actors not to come out. (Popeater.com, Nov. 5)

“In terms of a leading man, a heterosexual, playing a homosexual … do you worry about your image as a leading man and a heterosexual?”

Talk show host David Letterman, stammering as he questioned actor Jim Carrey about his new film “I Love You, Phillip Morris,” in which Carrey plays a likable gay con artist. (ABC, Nov. 19)

“Boy, we haven’t grown at all, have we? We are still children in the schoolyard. For god’s sake, Dave, have you ever seen a gay man?”

Actor Jim Carrey, responding to David Letterman’s questions. (ABC, Nov. 19)

“I don’t want to underplay this, because I understand it is very significant. But I don’t want to overplay it either. I don’t want people to think I am anything other than an associate municipal court judge.”

Attorney Phyllis Frye, on her appointment to the Houston bench, making her the first openly transgender judge in Texas. (Houston Chronicle, Nov. 22)

“In the light of this broad and profound vision of human sexuality and the problems it currently faces, the Pope reaffirms that ‘the Church does not of course consider condoms to be the authentic and moral solution’ to the problem of AIDS.”

Statement from the Vatican after Pope Benedict said in an interview that condoms, which the Catholic Church bans, may be appropriate for HIV prevention in certain situations like male prostitutes. (NationalPost.com, Nov. 22)

“That means the next TSA official that gives you an enhanced pat-down could be a practicing homosexual secretly getting pleasure from your submission.”

Eugene Delgaudio, a member of the Loudoun County (Va.) Board of Supervisors and president of the conservative group Public Advocate of the United States, in an e-mail denouncing the TSA’s inclusive non-discrimination statement (WTOP, Nov. 30)

“It was like the pink elephant in the room that was never touched upon until it was the day to shoot. Then we just did it really quickly and called it a day.”

Actress Mila Kunis discussing her lesbian sex scene with Natalie Portman in the new movie “Black Swan”; Kunis says she asked her father not to watch the scene. (MTV.com, Nov. 30)

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Real Estate

The rise of virtual home tours

Adapting to changing consumer preferences in spring real estate

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Looking for a home? Virtual tours hold special benefits for queer buyers.

In today’s dynamic real estate market, the spring season brings not only blooming flowers but also a surge of activity as buyers and sellers alike prepare to make their moves. However, in recent years, there’s been a notable shift in how consumers prefer to explore potential homes: the rise of virtual tours. 

For the LGBTQ community, these virtual experiences offer more than just convenience; they provide accessibility, safety, and inclusivity in the home buying process. 

Gone are the days of spending weekends driving from one open house to another – unless that’s your thing of course, only to find that the property doesn’t quite match expectations. With virtual tours, you can explore every corner of a home from the comfort of your own space – find something interesting? Schedule a showing with any LGBTQ Realtor at GayRealEstate.com.

This is particularly significant for LGBTQ individuals, who may face unique challenges or concerns when attending in-person showings. Whether it’s the ability to discreetly view properties without fear of discrimination or the convenience of touring homes located in LGBTQ-friendly neighborhoods across the country, virtual tours offer a sense of empowerment and control in the home buying process.

Moreover, virtual tours cater to the diverse needs of the LGBTQ community. For couples or families with busy schedules or those living in different cities or states, these digital walkthroughs provide a convenient way to view properties together without the need for extensive travel. Additionally, for individuals who may be exploring their gender identity or transitioning, virtual tours offer a low-pressure environment to explore potential living spaces without the added stress of in-person interactions.

At GayRealEstate.com, we understand the importance of adapting to changing consumer preferences and leveraging technology to better serve our community. That’s why our agents offer an extensive selection of virtual tours for LGBTQ individuals and allies alike – visit our website, choose an agent and within minutes you’ll have access to the Multiple Listing Service (MLS) via their website.

From cozy condominiums in bustling urban centers to sprawling estates in picturesque suburbs, virtual tours showcase a wide range of properties tailored to diverse tastes and lifestyles.

In addition to virtual tours, GayRealEstate.com provides comprehensive resources and support to guide LGBTQ buyers and sellers through every step of the real estate journey. Our network of LGBTQ-friendly agents is committed to providing personalized service, advocacy, and representation to ensure that all individuals feel respected, valued, and empowered throughout the process. Plus, we are happy to provide a free relocation kit to any city in the USA or Canada if you are a home buyer.

As we embrace the spring season and all the opportunities it brings in the real estate market, let’s also celebrate the power of virtual tours to revolutionize the way we find and experience our future homes. Whether you’re searching for your first apartment, forever home, or investment property, GayRealEstate.com is here to help you navigate the exciting world of real estate with confidence, pride, and inclusivity.

Jeff Hammerberg is founding CEO of Hammerberg & Associates, Inc. Reach him at [email protected].

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Advice

Should I divorce my husband for the hot new guy in our building?

Debating whether to leave or stay after the sex goes cold

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Dear Michael,

I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and the sex is pretty much gone. It stopped being exciting a long time ago and pretty much the only time we ever do it is with the occasional third.

A really hot guy moved into our building about a year ago. We would see each other sometimes in the elevator or at our building’s gym and we started talking and really hit it off. Mark is 15 years younger than I but we seem to have a lot in common. We started hooking up and the sex is amazing.

I haven’t told my husband because it’s breaking our rule about no repeats. I have to say that the secrecy is hot. It’s kind of a thrill to take the elevator upstairs when I say I’m going on an errand. But it’s more than that. I have a connection with Mark that is far more amazing than what I have ever felt with my husband. Not just the sex. We just enjoy being together, talking about anything and everything.

My husband went to visit his family last weekend and I spent the whole time with Mark. Since then I can’t stop thinking that I want to leave my husband and be with Mark.

Part of me thinks this is a crazy mid-life crisis. I mean, this kid’s in a totally different place in life. But we have mind-blowing sex and a fantastic connection. I’d like your thoughts on how to proceed.

Michael replies: 

You’ve got a lot to consider.

First: Sex with a long-term partner changes over time. It tends to be less about erotic heat and more about the connection with a person whom you love. In other words, it’s being with the person you’re with that makes the sex meaningful and even great. Having a good sexual relationship with a long-term partner comes far more from a heart connection than from a crotch attachment.  

Second: You seem ready to throw your relationship under the bus pretty quickly, without addressing other problems in the relationship besides sex. When you are sneaking around, lying, and rule-breaking , I don’t see how you can look your husband in the eye; and if you can’t look him in the eye, you certainly can’t have even a half-way decent relationship.

Yet another point to consider: Affairs pretty much always seem more exciting than marriage. The partner is new, which almost automatically makes the sex hotter; the secrecy is a thrill; and you don’t have to deal with paying the rent, house chores, and all the petty annoyances of living up-close with someone day-in, day-out.  

You are bringing lots of energy to your affair, and everything about it is exciting. You are bringing no energy — at least no positive energy — to your marriage. You get what you put into a relationship.

Divorce is not something that should be entered into lightly. Be aware that if you leave your husband for Mark, you will no doubt find over time that the sex becomes less exciting and that the connection is not always fantastic. No surprise, 75 percent of marriages that begin with affair partners end in divorce. While I don’t think statistics predict what will happen to any particular couple, believing that you will have a significantly better relationship with your affair partner than you did with your husband sets you up for likely disappointment.

Many gay men focus on “hot sex” as the big draw, pursuing a lot of sex with a lot of men, and/or pursuing an ongoing series of relationships that last until the sex cools. If that’s what you want, that’s fine. But it’s a different path from pursuing a close and loving long-term relationship, which involves knowing someone well and having him know you well; collaborating on getting through the hard stuff life throws at us; finding ways to make peace with disappointment; and consistently striving to be someone worth being married to. 

How to proceed? While you are the only person who should make that decision, I would suggest that whatever your choice, keep in mind that marriage can be more than what you’ve made of it, so far.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].

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Autos

Sport haulers: Jeep Grand Cherokee, Mercedes GLE-Class

Updated cabins, adept handling, and more

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Jeep Grand Cherokee

Now that March Madness and the Masters are over, it’s time for, well, everything else. For my husband and me, this means water sports, as in kayaks and rowing sculls, which is why we trekked to the Potomac for the George Washington Invitational regatta last weekend. 

Alas, high winds splashed cold water on the event, canceling much of it. But there was still plenty of spirited camaraderie to rival “The Boys in the Boat.” 

And I was reminded of my time years ago as a rower with D.C. Strokes, ferrying teammates to races up and down the East Coast. Back then my ride was a dated, rather cramped four-door sedan. 

If only we could have paddled around in a sporty SUV like the two reviewed here. Now that would have been some smooth sailing (wink-wink). 

JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE 

$40,000

MPG: 19 city/26 highway

0 to 60 mph: 7.5 seconds

Maximum cargo room: 37.7 cu. ft. 

PROS: Updated cabin, adept handling, strong towing 

CONS: So-so gas mileage, no third row, pricey trim levels

IN A NUTSHELL: Rough, tough and buff. It’s doesn’t get much more butch than a Jeep. This year’s Grand Cherokee is no exception, with rugged looks, expert off-road capability and better-than-average towing capacity of 6,200 pounds. 

There are a dizzying number of trim levels—more than a dozen—starting with the barebones base-model Laredo at an affordable $40,000. The lineup tops out with the Summit Reserve 4xe PHEV, which is almost twice the price at $76,000 and one of various plug-in hybrid versions available. Those plug-in hybrids can drive up to 25 miles on all-electric power before the four-cylinder gas engine kicks in. Otherwise, you can choose from a standard V6 or V8. Gas mileage on all trim levels is basically the same as the competition. 

Where the Grand Cherokee really shines is in the handling. More refined than a Wrangler but less lavish than a Land Rover, this Jeep maneuvers just as well on city streets and highways as it does on bumpier terrain.    

I tested the mid-range and mid-priced Overland, which comes standard with four-wheel drive and large 20-inch wheels. It also boasts a slew of niceties, such as quilted upholstery, panoramic sunroof and high-tech digital displays. These include a 10.25-inch infotainment touchscreen and rear-seat entertainment system. 

The nine-speaker Alpine stereo, designed specifically for the Grand Cherokee, is pleasing. But I really wanted to hear the boffo 19-speaker McIntosh surround-sound system that Jeep also offers. Sigh, it’s only available on the premium Summit trim level. 

MERCEDES GLE-CLASS

$64,000 

MPG: 20 city/25 highway

0 to 60 mph: 6.6 seconds

Maximum cargo room: 33.3 cu. ft. 

PROS: Lush interior, silky-smooth suspension, speedy 

CONS: Some confusing electronics, tight third row, many competitors

IN A NUTSHELL: For a more high-class hauler, there’s the Mercedes GLE-Class. This midsize SUV is similar in size to the Jeep Grand Cherokee. But instead of seating five passengers, the GLE can carry up to seven. Sure, legroom in the optional third row may be tight for taller travelers, but it’s perfect for a cocky cockswain or two. 

Six trim levels, ranging from the base-model GLE 350 to two high-performance AMG models. For eco-conscious buyers, the GLE 450e plug-in hybrid arrived earlier this year and can run on battery power alone for almost 60 miles. 

My test car was the top-of-the-line AMG 63 S 4Matic, a head-turner in every way. Priced at a whopping $127,000, this GLE looks best in glossy black with the Night Package, which includes tasteful jet-black exterior accents and matte-black wheels. To complete the Darth Vader effect, there’s a deep, menacing exhaust rumble that’s downright threatening.

You expect such a ride to be wicked fast, and it is: 0 to 60 mph in a blistering 3.7 seconds. Yet the carbon ceramic brakes with their devil-red calipers are equally impressive in slowing things down quickly. 

Inside, each GLE comes with two large digital displays on the elegantly sculpted dashboard. My favorite feature is the “Hey Mercedes” digital assistant, which responds to voice commands such as opening or closing the sunroof, operating the infotainment system or activating the climate controls. 

It’s hard to find sport seats that are more comfortable, especially with the heavenly massage function (though those massage controls could be a bit more user-friendly.) For AMG models, the seats come with red-contrasting stitching and red seatbelts—a nod to the devilish demeanor under the hood.

Considering all the SUVs available in showrooms, few make quite the splash of a GLE.

Mercedes GLE-Class
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