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Housemate talks about Kameny’s home life

Gay activist’s ashes to be laid to rest in Saturday ceremony

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Editor’s note: This is the second of a two-part report on Timothy Clark, the sole heir of Frank Kameny’s estate. Visit washingtonblade.com for more of this exclusive Blade interview.

Timothy Clark, gay news, gay politics dc

Timothy Clark was Frank Kameny’s sole heir; the two lived together for almost 19 years in Kameny’s D.C. home, which is now on the market. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

LGBT rights leaders from D.C. and across the country are scheduled to honor the late gay movement leader Franklin E. Kameny Saturday morning, March 3, at an interment ceremony in the city’s historic Congressional Cemetery.

Among those expected to attend is Timothy Lamont Clark, 35, Kameny’s friend, housemate, and heir of his estate. Clark’s 19-year friendship with Kameny was unknown to many of Kameny’s collaborators in politics and gay activism.

In an exclusive interview with the Washington Blade last week, Clark said he came to know a private side of Frank Kameny as the two developed a grandfather-grandson relationship that Clark says uplifted his own life and complimented Kameny’s tireless and rough-and-tumble role as a fighter for LGBT equality for more than 50 years.

Kameny died Oct. 11 at his home in Northwest Washington at the age of 86. Several years before his death friends and associates founded the Kameny Papers Project, which arranged for the papers documenting his life’s work as a recognized architect of the gay rights movement beginning in the early 1960s to be given to the Library of Congress, where they are available to researchers and scholars.

Gay historian David Carter, author of the nationally acclaimed book “Stonewall: The Riots that Sparked the Gay Revolution,” is writing Kameny’s biography.

Clark told the Blade he has long admired Kameny’s work on the local and national stage in the struggle for gay equality. But he said he shunned the whirlwind of political and movement events and activities that Kameny relished, calling himself “a very private person.”

Clark said he met the gay rights pioneer by phone at the age of 15 when he called the Gay Information hotline that Kameny operated out of his home in 1991.

At a time when he was struggling to accept his sexual orientation coming from a strong religious upbringing, Clark said Kameny gave him support and advice through a series of phone conversations that helped him cope with coming out to his family.

“If it would not have been for Frank maybe I would have been one of those kids committing suicide because I’m gay,” Clark said.

At Kameny’s invitation, Clark said he moved into the basement apartment of Kameny’s house in Northwest Washington in 1997 at the age of 20. Clark said he moved out in 1999 to live with his boyfriend in Virginia before returning to the house between 2002 and 2003, where he remained until Kameny’s death.

Following are excerpts of Clark’s Feb. 21 conversation with the Blade.

Washington Blade: Where were you living in D.C. before you moved in with Frank Kameny?

Timothy Clark: With my grandmother.

Blade: When you met him through the gay hotline he operated, did he help you come out as gay?

Clark: Yeah. When I first called him that’s what that was about. I saw that and he just guided me through that year.

Blade: Over the years that you knew Frank Kameny, did he visit any of your relatives and family members?

Clark: Yes, yes, yes. Frank went to Christmas dinners, Thanksgiving dinners, a cookout when my cousin Milton graduated from high school. Frank was a part of my family. Frank was like a grandfather to me. My grandfather passed away when I was little, but Frank was literally like a grandfather to me. We had our ups and downs, but that’s what families do. That’s what a family does. You go through things like that.

Blade: When you moved into his house, did he make it a rent or a roommate situation?

Clark: No, that’s what I want people to understand. It was a family thing. Even when I would offer things to Frank, Frank did not accept it. We just had a bond. I remember one time that I went to the Safeway. I was shopping and I got Frank – he always ate Stouffer’s for lunch and he always ate Healthy Choice for dinner. I bought Frank the groceries and I will tell you he literally went to the ATM and he was trying to give me the money back. I don’t know what it was about me but he was always like that. He never asked anything from me. I mean I was there for him. Of course, I made his breakfasts and his dinner. And I always cooked – we had – every other Sunday he would come down for dinner with me. I would cook a big dinner. Me, him and my friend Jessica, we would eat together.

Blade: You were like a family member?

Clark: That’s exactly what Frank and I were. It would always be to me as long as I’m here. It wasn’t a tenant. And well Frank even got – can I say it? [He looks at his lawyer, Glen Ackerman. Ackerman says to go ahead and say it.] In the last year or so in his life people were making accusations about me and saying things about me and saying that well, you should be charging him rent and who is this person? And then two cops came to the house and asked Frank was he being extorted. And Frank was really — Frank sat on that couch and said I have not worked all of my life for people in the community to treat him like that. I thought that was very disrespectful because the cops wanted to meet me. Actually, a guy from [D.C. Council member] David Catania’s office came over. He was a black guy my age. He came over and we talked. He didn’t even understand it but he said these things were going around and he wanted to talk to me to better understand that. But Frank was very, very upset by that. He felt as though that should not have taken place.

Blade: Did Frank make it clear to people that you were not a problem and he wanted you to be there?

Clark: Of course, of course.

Blade: Concerning the people who were raising concerns about you, some said they worried that Frank was supporting you financially with money he needed to meet his own household expenses.

Clark: How?

Blade: Some of his friends who didn’t know you said they wondered whether you were working and able to support yourself.

Clark: No, no, no, no. I will answer that. First, my work situation has nothing to do with anybody but me. Frank did not spend his money on Timothy. That’s one thing that I can tell you. When my grandmother passed, I was left money. You can call anyone in my family. I’ve always been well taken care of. I was in a relationship and still am sort of and have always been taken care of. And Frank knew everything about my relationship where everything was coming off.

And Frank did not take any money and spend it on me. I was living with Frank. I don’t have a passport to go out of town. I’m scared of flying. The only place I went was Myrtle Beach. I talked to Frank when I went there. Frank was not spending any money on me. Everything I got, I got through me — my computer, my bed, everything.

I can’t tell you where Frank’s money went. I do know — and he’s probably rolling in his grave — but I do know when I was into his family history and all that, but I know that Frank had money and things in stocks but when the stock market crashed a few years ago, that’s what he told me. As he always used to say, I’ve never been a financial whiz — things like that. I can’t tell you where his money went.

But I can tell you that it wasn’t to keep me because I do not sell myself to anybody. And that’s what that would have been if Frank was taking care of me. There was none of that going on. I have respect for myself. I may battle with my religion and being gay but one thing I would never do is sell myself to no man and no woman. I already have to answer for being gay but not that. I would never, ever use anybody that way because I would never want anyone to do that to me — never.

That’s the only thing that I get upset about. I would never sit back and use Frank, con Frank, do anything like that to him because I have respect for him because if it would not have been for Frank maybe I would have been one of those kids committing suicide because I’m gay. I would never have done that to him at all — at all.

Blade: Most people who knew Frank Kameny politically didn’t know you. Did you ever go to political events with him or was that always his thing?

Clark: His thing. I mean Frank always wanted me included, even one of the last events with the drag queens who gave him an award. He wanted me to go. I just — I’m not that kind of a person. I’m private. Now that he’s gone I feel bad that I never went to anything.

But it was things like when he had a birthday party this past year, his last birthday party, I think it was somewhere near Logan Circle somewhere and he wanted me to go. But I didn’t go. But when he came home like the next day I got a cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. I had two bottles of champagne and I made a little dinner and Frank came down with Jessica and me and celebrated.

Frank was like, he said this is what he was looking forward to. He loved my cooking. That’s why I never went to these things. Frank always said I wasn’t gay enough, that I didn’t care about the cause. He did, but that wasn’t my thing. Frank finally got me to go to the Gay Pride.

Blade: Do you mean the gay pride parade?

Clark: Yeah, the parade. That’s never been my thing. But he finally got me to go.

Blade: Do you think some of the rumors about you started because Frank Kameny was a famous person of sorts and just like other famous people, the public wants to know about the people who are part of their lives? He was known nationally as a preeminent leader for gay rights.

Clark: Right, and so was Whitney Houston.

Blade: That’s right, and everyone wants to know what her ex-husband is doing.

Clark: Yeah, her ex-husband. Frank and I were not lovers. Let’s get that straight… Let me just say something. I think what it is — when those people wanted to meet me — I do not talk about Timothy. I can give you my mother’s telephone number right now and you can ask her things about me. I do not talk about my personal business with anybody. And I think that’s what upset a lot of them.

Blade: Your lawyer has said you will be selling Frank Kameny’s house that you’ve inherited. What are your plans after that? Once the house is sold and this probate process is completed, are you planning on staying in this area? Have you made any decisions on that?

Clark: I’m going to Charlotte. I’m getting away. I’m moving away so I have time to really grieve and really have time to think about the memories I have of Frank. I have not been able to do that.

Blade: What are some of the things you remember of Frank Kameny?

Clark: I will never forget the last time I went to Myrtle Beach and Frank said what are you getting ready to do? Frank had called me because we always talked at 12 o’clock. I said, ‘Frank I’m paying my tab. I’m at the club.’ He said, ‘Timothy, you get back to your hotel. You don’t know those people down there — drinking and galloping around.’ I said, ‘Frank, I am 35 years old.’ I said, ‘Don’t you call me long distance telling me what to do.’ And that was one of my last fun memories of Frank.

Blade: Are you saying he obviously cared for you?

Clark: Yeah, and he fed my dog for me. He called me and said the dog has been fed. You see Frank and me we really got a kick out of each other. That’s what I can talk about. I got a kick out of Frank. I loved him to pieces.

Blade:  Did you mention earlier that you did things together but they were non-political going back to when you first got to know him?

Clark: It was way back and I was still living with my grandmother. My aunt knew somebody at Ticketmaster and she got four tickets to see Patti LaBelle. I said Frank we’re going to see Patti LaBelle. He said I’ve heard of her, but Frank was into Mozart. I said Frank I want you to come. I was sitting here and Frank was sitting here and my aunt was sitting there. I took him to see his first Patti LaBelle concert. And it was so amazing.

So we went to see Patti LaBelle a couple of times. He and I went to Blue’s Alley in Georgetown. Me, him and Jessica, we went to see Eartha Kitt. And then after the show you could go upstairs and Eartha Kitt was there and she said to him, nice to meet you. And he said I’m Frank Kameny, gay activist. I said, ‘Frank not here. She’s not interested in that.’ We just laughed. So he got to shake Eartha Kitt’s hand. Frank and I did things together. The only thing he would not take part in was my gospel concerts. Other than that — he didn’t believe in that — but other than that, me and Frank did a lot of things together.

Me and Frank really shared things together. I know how Frank liked his food, his coffee — full sugar cubes; fill the coffee thing right up here and all the milk. I would make his food about 12 o’clock so about 1 o’clock it was near cold — but we shared things together.

Now, like I told you, we talked about political things, too, like about Obama, how he felt about living to see Obama be president, even though I wasn’t an Obama supporter — I was for Hillary — and things like that. That was us. We would argue about things, about the marriage thing. I said you know Frank sometimes gays want too much. I said we’re getting that much but let’s just let Obama get in and do things. And he argued me down about it but that was us. We shared.

Frank would come down in the basement because I wouldn’t come upstairs — it was a mess he wouldn’t allow me to clean up. I cleaned up and he would get mad. He said it was a mess but it was his mess and he knew where things are. But he would come downstairs and we would watch TV.

Blade: Glen Ackerman, your lawyer, mentioned that you recently moved out of the house after Frank’s death. Was there some kind of problem?

Clark: I had never witnessed anything like that day when Frank passed away. It just scares the living crap out of me. And it’s like just to be there — even though the memories are good, there’s nothing bad, but it’s the fact that I found him like that. It just breaks my heart. I don’t know. It doesn’t sit right with me. It doesn’t feel like home anymore. You know what I mean? There’s no peace any more.

Blade: Your lawyer said you were also troubled over a letter that someone hand-delivered to the house. Was it an anonymous letter?

Clark: Yeah. It was pushed through the thing [mail slot on front door]. It was just right there. And that’s just horrible for anybody to say, no matter what your opinion is, to say that. It said, ‘The nigger got everything.’

Blade: Did it have your name on it?

Clark: No, but whoever it was must have known that situation what’s going on.

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District of Columbia

Weekend brings two shootings in U Street, Dupont Circle areas

Man dies after incident at Desperados

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Two shooting incidents marred the weekend.

A man was shot to death shortly after 1 a.m. on Saturday, April 27, inside the Desperados Burgers & Bar at 1342 U St., N.W., which is located on the same block a short distance away from the LGBTQ nightclub Bunker D.C. and around the corner less than a block away from the recently opened LGBTQ bar Crush on 14th Street, N.W.

The incident prompted Bunker to post on its Facebook page a message saying its security team quickly ushered patrons standing outside to enter the club and as a precautionary measure prevented patrons from leaving until it was deemed safe to do so.

A D.C. police statement identifies the shooting victim as Kenneth Goins, 43, of Salisbury, Md. The statement says officers on patrol in the 1300 block of U Street, N.W. heard gunshots at about 1:12 a.m. and immediately arrived at Desperados to investigate the incident.

“Officers located a man inside with multiple gunshot wounds,” the statement says. “Despite all life saving efforts, the victim was pronounced dead on the scene,” it says. Neither the statement nor a police incident report pertaining to the shooting provides a description of the person who committed the shooting nor discloses whether any of the customers inside the restaurant and bar witnessed the shooting.

The statement says the police Homicide Branch is investigating the shooting and urges anyone with knowledge of the incident to call police at 202-272-9099. Like all homicide cases, it says the D.C. Metropolitan Police Department offers a reward of up to $25,000 to anyone who provides information that leads to the arrest and conviction of the person or persons responsible for a homicide committed in the District.  

 “There was a shooting incident on U ST. N.W., just 4 doors down from BUNKER,” the Bunker Facebook post says. “Our security team promptly responded, ensuring the safety of everyone by ushering them inside for cover,” it says. “Currently, the courageous police officers are outside, handling the situation and working diligently to maintain a secure environment for our guests,” the message continues.

“As a responsible establishment, we strongly prioritize your safety, and as a precautionary measure, we will not permit anyone to exit the building until we deem it safe to do so,” the posting says. “Rest assured, we, as the owners, take this matter very seriously, and your safety remains our highest priority.” 

The U Street shooting at Desperados Burgers & Bar took place a little over two hours after six people were shot and wounded outside the Decades nightclub at 1219 Connecticut Ave., N.W. near Dupont Circle and near several gay bars on P Street and 17th Street in the Dupont Circle area. Police said none of those who were shot suffered life-threatening injuries

A separate police statement says with the help of several witnesses, police identified and arrested Rennwel Mantock, 29, of Hyattsville, Md., in connection with the shooting on charges of Assault with Intent to Kill, Possession of Unregistered Ammunition, and Possession of an Unregistered Firearm. The statement says a gun belonging to Mantock was recovered on the scene. Court records show a judge has ordered him to be held without bond until a May 7 preliminary hearing.

“The detectives’ investigation determined Mantock opened fire after employees removed him from a nightclub following a dispute,” according to the statement.

A police arrest affidavit filed in D.C. Superior Court says Mantock told police at the time he was apprehended on the scene that he was dancing with a woman at the club when a security guard ordered him to leave and then “grabbed him by the neck and punched him in the face right before dragging him down the steps.” The Decades club states on its website that it has several floors with multiple bars.

According to the arrest affidavit, Mantock told police that one of the security officials punched him in the face again and threw him to the ground after dragging him out the door. It says Mantock “stated that he then pulled out his gun and started shooting” because “he was very upset about the security punching him in the face,” adding that he “began firing at the Decades’ security.”

The affidavit says five of the six people shot were Decades employees.

Gay former Dupont Circle Advisory Neighborhood Commissioner Mike Silverstein, who lives near where the shooting took place, said Decades is not known as a place that LGBTQ people patronize but said the surrounding neighborhood is home to many LGBTQ residents and draws many LGBTQ visitors. 

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Maryland

Md. governor signs Freedom to Read Act

Law seeks to combat book bans

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Maryland Gov. Wes Moore (Public domain photo/Twitter)

Maryland Gov. Wes Moore on Thursday signed a bill that seeks to combat efforts to ban books from state libraries.

House Bill 785, also known as the Freedom to Read Act, would establish a state policy “that local school systems operate their school library media programs consistent with certain standards; requiring each local school system to develop a policy and procedures to review objections to materials in a school library media program; prohibiting a county board of education from dismissing, demoting, suspending, disciplining, reassigning, transferring, or otherwise retaliating against certain school library media program personnel for performing their job duties consistent with certain standards.”

Moore on Thursday also signed House Bill 1386, which GLSEN notes will “develop guidelines for an anti-bias training program for school employees.”

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District of Columbia

Catching up with the asexuals and aromantics of D.C.

Exploring identity and finding community

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Local asexuals and aromantics met recently on the National Mall.

There was enough commotion in the sky at the Blossom Kite Festival that bees might have been pollinating the Washington Monument. I despaired of quickly finding the Asexuals and Aromantics of the Mid-Atlantic—I couldn’t make out a single asexual flag among the kites up above. I thought to myself that if it had been the Homosexuals of the Mid-Atlantic I would’ve had my gaydar to rely on. Was there even such a thing as ace-dar?

As it turned out, the asexual kite the group had meant to fly was a little too pesky to pilot. “Have you ever used a stunt kite?” Bonnie, the event organizer asked me. “I bought one. It looked really cool. But I can’t make it work.” She sighed. “I can’t get the thing six feet off the ground.” The group hardly seemed to care. There was caramel popcorn and cookies, board games and head massages, a game of charades with more than its fair share of Pokémon. The kites up above might as well have been a coincidental sideshow. Nearly two dozen folks filtered in and out of the picnic throughout the course of the day.

But I counted myself lucky that Bonnie picked me out of the crowd. If there’s such a thing as ace-dar, it eludes asexuals too. The online forum for all matters asexual, AVEN, or the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, is filled with laments: “I don’t think it’s possible.” “Dude, I wish I had an ace-dar.” “If it exists, I don’t have it.” “I think this is just like a broken clock is right twice a day type thing.” What seems to be a more common experience is meeting someone you just click with—only to find out later that they’re asexual. A few of the folks I met described how close childhood friends of theirs likewise came out in adulthood, a phenomenon that will be familiar to many queer people. But it is all the more astounding for asexuals to find each other this way, given that asexual people constitute 1.7% of sexual minorities in America, and so merely .1% of the population at large. 

To help other asexuals identify you out in the world, some folks wear a black ring on their middle finger, much as an earring on the right ear used to signify homosexuality in a less welcoming era. The only problem? The swinger community—with its definite non-asexuality—has also adopted the signal. “It’s still a thing,” said Emily Karp. “So some people wear their ace rings just to the ace meet-ups.” Karp has been the primary coordinator for the Asexuals and Aromantics of the Mid-Atlantic (AAMA) since 2021, and a member of the meet-up for a decade. She clicked with the group immediately. After showing up for a Fourth of July potluck in the mid-afternoon, she ended up staying past midnight. “We played Cards against Humanity, which was a very, very fun thing to do. It’s funny in a way that’s different than if we were playing with people that weren’t ace. Some of the cards are implying, like, the person would be motivated by sex in a way that’s absurd, because we know they aren’t.” 

Where so many social organizations withered during the pandemic, the AAMA flourished. Today, it boasts almost 2,000 members on meetup.com. Karp hypothesized that all the social isolation gave people copious time to reflect on themselves, and that the ease of meeting up online made it convenient as a way for people to explore their sexual identity and find community. Online events continue to make up about a third of the group’s meet-ups. The format allows people to participate who live farther out from D.C. And it allows people to participate at their preferred level of comfort: while many people participate much as they would at an in-person event, some prefer to watch anonymously, video feed off. Others prefer to participate in the chat box, though not in spoken conversation.

A recent online event was organized for a discussion of Rhaina Cohen’s book, “The Other Significant Others,” published in February. Cohen’s book discusses friendship as an alternative model for “significant others,” apart from the romantic model that is presupposed to be both the center and goal of people’s lives. The AAMA group received the book with enthusiasm. “It literally re-wired my brain,” as one person put it. People discussed the importance of friendship to their lives, and their difficulties in a world that de-prioritized friendship. “I can break up with a friend over text, and we don’t owe each other a conversation,” one said. But there was some disagreement when it came to the book’s discussion of romantic relationships. “It relegates ace relationships to the ‘friend’ or ‘platonic’ category, to the normie-reader,” one person wrote in the chat. “Our whole ace point is that we can have equivalent life relationships to allo people, simply without sex.” (“Allo” is shorthand for allosexual or alloromantic, people who do experience sexual or romantic attraction.)

The folks of the AAMA do not share a consensus on the importance of romantic relationships to their lives. Some asexuals identify as aromantic, some don’t. And some aromantics don’t identify as asexual, either. The “Aromantic” in the title of the group is a relatively recent addition. In 2017, the group underwent a number of big changes. The group was marching for the first time in D.C. Pride, participating in the LGBTQ Creating Change conference, and developing a separate advocacy and activism arm. Moreover, the group had become large enough that discussions were opened up into forming separate chapters for D.C., Central Virginia, and Baltimore. During those discussions, the group leadership realized that aromantic people who also identified as allosexual didn’t really have a space to call their own. “We were thinking it would be good to probably change the name of the Meetup group,” Emily said. “But we were not 100% sure. Because [there were] like 1,000 people in the group, and they’re all aces, and it’s like, ‘Do you really want to add a non-ace person?’” The group leadership decided to err on the side of inclusion. “You know, being less gatekeep-y was better. It gave them a place to go — because there was nowhere else to go.”

The DC LGBT Center now sponsors a support group for both asexuals and aromantics, but it was formed just a short while ago, in 2022. The founder of the group originally sought out the center’s bisexual support group, since they didn’t have any resources for ace folks. “The organizer said, you know what, why don’t we just start an ace/aro group? Like, why don’t we just do it?” He laughed. “I was impressed with the turnout, the first call. It’s almost like we tapped into, like, a dam. You poke a hole in the dam, and the water just rushes out.” The group has a great deal of overlap with the AAMA, but it is often a person’s first point of contact with the asexual and aromantic community in D.C., especially since the group focuses on exploring what it means to be asexual. Someone new shows up at almost every meeting. “And I’m so grateful that I did,” one member said. “I kind of showed up and just trauma dumped, and everyone was really supportive.”

Since the ace and aro community is so small, even within the broader queer community, ace and aro folks often go unrecognized. To the chagrin of many, the White House will write up fact sheets about the LGBTQI+ community, which is odd, given that when the “I” is added to the acronym, the “A” is usually added too. OKCupid has 22 genders and 12 orientations on its dating website, but “aromantic” is not one of them — presumably because aromantic people don’t want anything out of dating. And since asexuality and aromanticism are defined by the absence of things, it can seem to others like ace and aro people are ‘missing something.’ One member of the LGBT center support group had an interesting response. “The space is filled by… whatever else!” they said.  “We’re not doing a relationship ‘without that thing.’ We’re doing a full scale relationship — as it makes sense to us.”

CJ Higgins is a postdoctoral fellow with the Alexander Grass Humanities Institute at Johns Hopkins University.

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