Local
Back to school: How campus life got better
Reflections on change as the class of 1974 meets the class of 2014 at UVA

Bob Witeck (left), who graduated from the University of Virginia in 1974, shown here in Charlottesville. Brendan Maupin Wynn, class of 2014, at UVA’s Serpentine Wall on campus. (Photos courtesy of Witeck and Wynn)
Editor’s note: This is the first installment in a series assessing the LGBT climate on university campuses as told by alumni we’re pairing with current students to tell their stories. This week: Bob Witeck and the University of Virginia. Next in the series: Jeff Trammell returns to William and Mary as rector.
In 1973, Bette Midler flounced out of the Continental Baths in Manhattan to record the chart-topping gay anthem, “You Gotta Have Friends,” but for Bob Witeck, it didn’t come with an instruction manual. With nary a hint of gay life on the campus of the University of Virginia, he sought help in the library.
“There were maybe 10 titles, each of them clinical or scary,” Witeck recalled. “None gave me a sense of hope, promise or acceptance in any way.” So, he buried himself in his studies, anti-war activism and marathon bridge tournaments. He could declare and partner in bridge, but seeking one in life was too risky. Jesse Helms and Anita Bryant were hunting and killing gay civil rights wherever they could. Witeck is from an entire generation of “Friends of Dorothy” — and the gay, straight-A student was asexual.
Such was the state of gay life on America’s college campuses for many closeted students 40 years ago.
Today, brimming with hope, promise and acceptance, Brendan Maupin Wynn walks the same UVA campus that Witeck did four decades earlier — only he’s running for office, signing petitions for any number of progressive causes, and when the mood strikes him, he takes a man on a date.
“I only worry whether my date has a winning smile — never how we’ll be treated at an event,” he says. This straight-A student is gay and makes no apologies for it.
When he learned of this project for the Washington Blade and that he was being paired with Bob Witeck, Wynn responded, “Is this the Bob Witeck who’s the Washington PR magician?” The answer is yes, Brendan, and that magician did a disappearing act when he was in your shoes. Contrasting the two Cavs is the goal of this column and that progress is nothing about which to be cavalier.
LGBT rights advances can be attributed to the work of many straight allies and gay heroes — and on the UVA Grounds, to the Serpentine Society, where LGBT alumni provide straight talk beside the legendary curvy serpentine wall invented by Thomas Jefferson. The Serpentine Society was conceived in 1998 and is dedicated to advocating for LGBT alumni, faculty and students.
It’s simultaneously no one’s fault — and everyone’s — that LGBT students had to live in a quiet isolated closet over much of history. Queers have been in quads since the first Corinthian column was erected on a campus. Today they’re out in the sunshine sitting against that same column.
Who to thank for all this progress? Witeck’s gay heroes are pre-Stonewall: Frank Kameny, Barbara Gittings and Lilli Vincenz. His straight heroes are Rep. John Lewis (D- Ga.) and Julian Bond of the NAACP — black leaders who considered us their “gay brothers and sisters” even before President Obama gave an inaugural shout-out to those brave enough to be out. Imagine that from Richard Nixon in ’73. Wynn’s straight hero is Hillary Clinton and he talks about the gay-straight village it took to raise him at UVA. While Ellen DeGeneres and Rachel Maddow are high on his list of gay heroes, he need look no further than Peabody Hall on campus to find others.
“I am so lucky to have a ton of gay role models to choose from. Our dean of students, Allen Groves is the coolest guy around. Everyone on Grounds loves him!”
Our long slow march toward this equality is sort of parallel in pop culture to the goofy (and now gay) Gomer Pyle of the ‘60s TV show. The now-out Jim Nabors endured sit-com life in quiet backwards Mayberry RFD. Nabors waited until he was 82 to come out. Wynn? He grew up with Will and Grace. In comparison, his coming out was a piece of cake. Even in rural Tidewater, Va., he was able to come out to his parents and very close friends in 10th grade. He arrived at UVA to find that a freshman’s sexual orientation was indeed part of freshmen orientation.
Witeck waited until he was out of college before pursuing the authentic gay life. That year, Paul Simon topped the charts with “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” and it’s only then that Witeck looked for one.
With courage and composure, Witeck has returned to help make the Grounds at UVA better for Wynn and the generations to follow. Witeck has worked on the Hill and in public relations. He worked for Sen. Bob Packwood and for Hill and Knowlton, the legendary PR shop, and now owns his own firm, Witeck Communications in D.C. He published the landmark book “Business Inside Out,” serves on too many LGBT boards to mention, and returned to UVA in 2001 to accept the prestigious Bernard Mayes Award.
Would he trade all that for four “out” years as a young man?
“I felt very lucky to have the quality of education UVA offers,” Witeck said. “I sometimes imagine the difference being open and honest would have allowed me to break my own self barriers. But no, I have zero regrets. What I really value is having witnessed so much of this change in 40 years and knowing that we all played a part in making it happen.” It occurs to him that childless gay boomers do have kids going to college each year — other people’s gay children who need help and guidance.
Wistful about the past, but stridently optimistic about the future, Witeck reflects, “The Serpentine Society is one of the few groups that serve as a bridge for the gay community to the entire Virginia community — to the faculty, staff and students and allows us to put LGBT and identity issues forward.”
Although UVA isn’t perfect on gay issues, and may lag behind some other major institutions, the vision of the Serpentine Society is helping bring about positive change.
Scientists recently reported that as we age, the most vivid memories we will retain will be those from 12 to 22 years. Cleverly termed “the reminiscence bump” it’s a cruel hoax on older gay folks. Those years could be lonely and isolating and when it comes to true gay identity, it’s a bump that leaves an entire generation with just a lump in their throats. Not so with Wynn.
“I can’t count the number of gay friends I have in my head! Isn’t that awesome?” He still cautions that many of his classmates are closeted and that victory isn’t complete. As Witeck says, “Students today still have their own aspirations, fears, risks and needs.”
Anyone walking the grounds at UVA must know that time has been on the side of LGBT students. Just ask Wynn and his date, sitting over on the Lawn, both with their winning smiles.
Wynn’s ancestor, Socrates Maupin, joined UVA as a student in 1828 and later returned as faculty. The Civil War occurred while he was chairman of the faculty. It was Socrates Maupin who refinanced the university on his credit, reconstituted the faculty and returned the university to the Union — clearly marking progress and forward momentum.
Today, if Socrates — or Witeck — were to return to the grounds, they’d walk past an open door on the ground floor of Newcomb Hall where Scott Rheinheimer leads the LGBT Resource Center. New to his job, he is amazed at the support and resources for the center.
“From Dean Groves to the Serpentine Society to the faculty and the administration, everyone here has welcomed me openly and warmly,” Rheinheimer said.
So, Witeck lived in a desert so today’s students, like Wynn, could enjoy an oasis.
“I think that students inherently face a number of challenges acclimating to the college environment,” said Wynn. “What’s fortunate is that the university has made great strides in being inclusive and accepting. Like Bob, many students feel they must hide their orientation — from their parents, from their classmates and even from their friends. There are still challenges to coming out, but I think that it’s getting easier, and it’s getting better.”
Brent Mundt is collecting alumni stories for a book. Reach him at [email protected].
District of Columbia
To school to homeschool to school again
‘Pandemic took more than 2 years of school. It took 2 years of my childhood’
It wasn’t until I no longer had those 30 minutes of lunch and recess, when all the boys and girls would come together to trade bracelets, make up games, gossip about who we liked, play tag and sports, that I realized how much of my childhood happened during the parts of school that had nothing to do with schoolwork.
I was in the third grade when the COVID-19 pandemic began. I remember my parents explaining that I couldn’t go back to school and wondering when I would see my friends again — or whether I wanted to go back at all. But after spending two years learning from home, cut off from the friends, teachers and routines I had known, I began to understand what I had lost.
For many of my friends and classmates, going to school changed from a bus ride every morning to clicking a link and seeing their teachers and classmates through a screen. My experience was a little different. Instead of going to virtual school, I was homeschooled. My new routine was sitting at my kitchen table, with my mom teaching me how to write a paragraph or solve a math problem, surrounded by the same walls I saw every day.
My family was not alone. Many families across the country turned to homeschooling after schools shut down. Homeschooling increased sharply during the pandemic, especially among Black families, rising from 3.3 percent in the spring of 2020 to 16.1 percent that fall, according to the U.S. Census Bureau’s Household Pulse Survey.
It would be two years before I entered a classroom again.
At first, I loved homeschooling.
I didn’t have to wake up early or put on a uniform. I liked the comfort of my own room, surrounded by my stuffed animals and toys. I didn’t have to push my way through that horrible lunch line because my food was now waiting for me at the kitchen table.
It felt like a fever dream where school was canceled and all day was fun. That was my view as a 9-year-old.
But as days turned into weeks and weeks into months, that initial excitement wore off.
Every day became the same routine. There was no recess when I could play princess with all the other girls. There were no conversations in the lunch line and none of the small things that had broken up the school day before. I didn’t realize how much those moments mattered until I could no longer experience them.
With less to look forward to, I started spending more time on the internet.
I turned to platforms such as YouTube and TikTok to distract myself. Instead of seeing what the kids around me were doing every day, I could watch people online show off their clothes, makeup, dances, art and lives.
Over time, I started comparing myself with what I saw. I thought the way I dressed was childish and wanted to be like the superstars I saw online. I followed what was trendy and admired the girls and boys who looked so confident on screen.
Before the pandemic, my friends and I didn’t need the internet to tell us what was popular. But during those years at home, I became much more aware of what other people thought was cool and what someone my age was supposedly supposed to like. I felt as though I was growing up without getting to experience all the steps in between.
When I finally returned to school, I thought my classmates would be excited to see each other again after spending so much time apart.
Instead, I realized how much we all changed.
When I walked through those doors, I remembered vague memories of running down those halls and always seeing my peers with smiles on their faces. Now those same faces were tired, with eye bags. The lunchroom, which used to be full of life with happy kids eating to their hearts’ content, turned into a lunch where all the girls controlled what they ate and talked about the latest trend on TikTok.
Maybe some of that change would have happened anyway. Kids grow up. Interests change. Middle school has always been awkward.
But I didn’t get to watch my classmates gradually change or change alongside them. I left one social world and came back to another.
When I returned, I was expected to understand a social world that had changed while I was gone. I felt I missed so much that I would never get back, and without that day-to-day learning to help me adapt to these new norms, I struggled.
Those everyday interactions are an important part of how children learn to get along with others: A 2026 meta-analysis of 157 studies from 33 countries published in the academic journal Child Development found that children’s social and emotional skills declined during the pandemic, along with their overall well-being. The researchers noted that schools are not just places where children learn math and reading. They are also places where children learn how to make friends, work through disagreements, understand other people’s feelings and manage their own emotions.
Years later, many parents say some of those effects are still being felt. In a 2025 Gallup survey, 45 percent of parents with school-age children said the pandemic hurt their child’s social skills, and 22 percent said those problems were still ongoing. Forty-two percent said the pandemic negatively affected their child’s mental health. Parents were more likely to report problems with their children’s social skills and mental health than with their academics or physical health.
I saw some of those changes around me, too. Classmates who once seemed outgoing became quieter or more withdrawn. Starting conversations felt harder. Making new friends felt harder. Sometimes retreating into myself felt easier than trying to figure out where I belonged.
Now, the kids who were in elementary school when the pandemic began are moving through high school. We are older, but some of us are still figuring out what those missing years meant.
Before the pandemic, I thought lunch and recess were simply breaks from learning. Now I understand that we were learning during those 30 minutes, too. We were learning how to make friends, how to disagree and make up, how to be embarrassed and recover from it, what we liked and what we didn’t, and slowly who we wanted to become.
I can’t know exactly who I would be if I had spent those years inside a classroom instead of at home. Maybe middle school still would have been awkward. Maybe I still would have worried about fitting in.
But I know I missed something I didn’t understand was important until it was gone: the ordinary, sometimes boring, sometimes ridiculous parts of growing up alongside other kids.
You can make up schoolwork. You can return to the classroom. But there are some parts of childhood you don’t get to repeat.
Gloria Collazo Huamani is a sophomore at Benjamin Banneker Academic High School in D.C., one of Youthcast Media Group’s journalism class partners. Gloria worked with James Jarvis, a YMG mentor-editor and reporter for Inside Health Policy, on this story.
Virginia
Gay Va. couple hopeful voters will enshrine marriage equality in state constitution
Early voting has already begun in the state
A referendum on whether to enshrine marriage equality in Virginia’s constitutional amendment is on the ballot this year.
If voters approve Question 2, it will codify the U.S. Supreme Court’s Obergefell ruling in 2015 that extended marriage rights to same-sex couples across the country — gays and lesbians have been able to legally marry in Virginia since Oct. 6, 2014.
Ron Bookbinder and James Fisher are a married couple who live in Arlington.
They have been together for 38 years — Bookbinder and Fisher married in 2014.
“We think this is a critical vote to remove this discriminatory language from the constitution and to ensure that going forward, no matter what happens, the state of Virginia will ensure marriage equality,” Fisher told the Washington Blade. “It is it is really difficult and upsetting to think that our current state constitution would prohibit same-sex marriage, even though the federal government overrides that now. There’s no saying what may happen in the future.”
Bookbinder said it was important for him and Fisher to get married “to gain social equality.”
“I was surprised how good it felt, how important it was to begin to say, ‘my husband rather than my partner,'” Bookbinder said.
Bookbinder then explained why it feels good to be married.
“Is it a legal partner, a business partner, a tennis partner, you know, or a romantic partner? But when you say my husband James, everyone knows exactly what you mean and confers an equal status with everyone else who’s married, and we were both surprised at how good it felt and how equal it felt to suddenly be married and be able to state that you were married and discuss your husband rather than your partner, and I would hate to lose that,” he said.
Bookbinder and Fisher said they are hopeful that voters will approve the amendment, noting Virginia has become more progressive over the years.
“I think people have, with the Supreme Court decision, people have seen that a same-sex marriage is just a marriage,” stated Fisher. “It’s just two people who love each other, and I think more and more people have attended a same-sex marriage, someone in their family or a friend, and the experience of what this is, firsthand experience, is so important in shaping people’s opinions, and I think the period of time that we’ve had since the Obergefell decision has given a lot of voters that experience, which I think is really important and powerful.”
The couple also said the push to enshrine marriage equality in Virginia’s constitution is in response to the Trump-Vance administration.
“And I think due to President Trump doing all the horrible things he’s done to so many groups, including LGBTQ, especially trans people, that Virginians are kind of pushed to be even more progressive to protect those who need protection, which would include the LGBTQ community in terms of marriage equality, so I’m confident it will pass,” said Bookbinder.
Narissa Rahaman, executive director of Equality Virginia, sent the Blade a statement about early voting on Question 2 that has already begun.
“With early voting now underway, our focus is making sure every Virginian knows Question 2 is on their ballot,” said Rahaman. “The outdated ban on same-sex marriage still in Virginia’s state constitution leaves a gap in protections for the thousands of same-sex couples that call this state home, but after 20 years we have the chance to fix it.”
Log onto www.mobilize.us/vaformarriage to find out more about the campaign in support of Question 2.
By JOHN-JOHN WILLIAMS IV | Those legendary heavy-handed pours, spirited karaoke and trivia nights, and groan-worthy wall-to-wall patrons on packed nights are back!
Leon’s will live to see another day.
Baltimore’s oldest gay bar, which opened in the 1950s, closed in July following the death of its owner, Ron Singer.
The rest of this article can be read on the Baltimore Banner’s website.
