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Back to school: How campus life got better
Reflections on change as the class of 1974 meets the class of 2014 at UVA
Bob Witeck (left), who graduated from the University of Virginia in 1974, shown here in Charlottesville. Brendan Maupin Wynn, class of 2014, at UVA’s Serpentine Wall on campus. (Photos courtesy of Witeck and Wynn)
Editor’s note: This is the first installment in a series assessing the LGBT climate on university campuses as told by alumni we’re pairing with current students to tell their stories. This week: Bob Witeck and the University of Virginia. Next in the series: Jeff Trammell returns to William and Mary as rector.
In 1973, Bette Midler flounced out of the Continental Baths in Manhattan to record the chart-topping gay anthem, “You Gotta Have Friends,” but for Bob Witeck, it didn’t come with an instruction manual. With nary a hint of gay life on the campus of the University of Virginia, he sought help in the library.
“There were maybe 10 titles, each of them clinical or scary,” Witeck recalled. “None gave me a sense of hope, promise or acceptance in any way.” So, he buried himself in his studies, anti-war activism and marathon bridge tournaments. He could declare and partner in bridge, but seeking one in life was too risky. Jesse Helms and Anita Bryant were hunting and killing gay civil rights wherever they could. Witeck is from an entire generation of “Friends of Dorothy” — and the gay, straight-A student was asexual.
Such was the state of gay life on America’s college campuses for many closeted students 40 years ago.
Today, brimming with hope, promise and acceptance, Brendan Maupin Wynn walks the same UVA campus that Witeck did four decades earlier — only he’s running for office, signing petitions for any number of progressive causes, and when the mood strikes him, he takes a man on a date.
“I only worry whether my date has a winning smile — never how we’ll be treated at an event,” he says. This straight-A student is gay and makes no apologies for it.
When he learned of this project for the Washington Blade and that he was being paired with Bob Witeck, Wynn responded, “Is this the Bob Witeck who’s the Washington PR magician?” The answer is yes, Brendan, and that magician did a disappearing act when he was in your shoes. Contrasting the two Cavs is the goal of this column and that progress is nothing about which to be cavalier.
LGBT rights advances can be attributed to the work of many straight allies and gay heroes — and on the UVA Grounds, to the Serpentine Society, where LGBT alumni provide straight talk beside the legendary curvy serpentine wall invented by Thomas Jefferson. The Serpentine Society was conceived in 1998 and is dedicated to advocating for LGBT alumni, faculty and students.
It’s simultaneously no one’s fault — and everyone’s — that LGBT students had to live in a quiet isolated closet over much of history. Queers have been in quads since the first Corinthian column was erected on a campus. Today they’re out in the sunshine sitting against that same column.
Who to thank for all this progress? Witeck’s gay heroes are pre-Stonewall: Frank Kameny, Barbara Gittings and Lilli Vincenz. His straight heroes are Rep. John Lewis (D- Ga.) and Julian Bond of the NAACP — black leaders who considered us their “gay brothers and sisters” even before President Obama gave an inaugural shout-out to those brave enough to be out. Imagine that from Richard Nixon in ’73. Wynn’s straight hero is Hillary Clinton and he talks about the gay-straight village it took to raise him at UVA. While Ellen DeGeneres and Rachel Maddow are high on his list of gay heroes, he need look no further than Peabody Hall on campus to find others.
“I am so lucky to have a ton of gay role models to choose from. Our dean of students, Allen Groves is the coolest guy around. Everyone on Grounds loves him!”
Our long slow march toward this equality is sort of parallel in pop culture to the goofy (and now gay) Gomer Pyle of the ‘60s TV show. The now-out Jim Nabors endured sit-com life in quiet backwards Mayberry RFD. Nabors waited until he was 82 to come out. Wynn? He grew up with Will and Grace. In comparison, his coming out was a piece of cake. Even in rural Tidewater, Va., he was able to come out to his parents and very close friends in 10th grade. He arrived at UVA to find that a freshman’s sexual orientation was indeed part of freshmen orientation.
Witeck waited until he was out of college before pursuing the authentic gay life. That year, Paul Simon topped the charts with “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” and it’s only then that Witeck looked for one.
With courage and composure, Witeck has returned to help make the Grounds at UVA better for Wynn and the generations to follow. Witeck has worked on the Hill and in public relations. He worked for Sen. Bob Packwood and for Hill and Knowlton, the legendary PR shop, and now owns his own firm, Witeck Communications in D.C. He published the landmark book “Business Inside Out,” serves on too many LGBT boards to mention, and returned to UVA in 2001 to accept the prestigious Bernard Mayes Award.
Would he trade all that for four “out” years as a young man?
“I felt very lucky to have the quality of education UVA offers,” Witeck said. “I sometimes imagine the difference being open and honest would have allowed me to break my own self barriers. But no, I have zero regrets. What I really value is having witnessed so much of this change in 40 years and knowing that we all played a part in making it happen.” It occurs to him that childless gay boomers do have kids going to college each year — other people’s gay children who need help and guidance.
Wistful about the past, but stridently optimistic about the future, Witeck reflects, “The Serpentine Society is one of the few groups that serve as a bridge for the gay community to the entire Virginia community — to the faculty, staff and students and allows us to put LGBT and identity issues forward.”
Although UVA isn’t perfect on gay issues, and may lag behind some other major institutions, the vision of the Serpentine Society is helping bring about positive change.
Scientists recently reported that as we age, the most vivid memories we will retain will be those from 12 to 22 years. Cleverly termed “the reminiscence bump” it’s a cruel hoax on older gay folks. Those years could be lonely and isolating and when it comes to true gay identity, it’s a bump that leaves an entire generation with just a lump in their throats. Not so with Wynn.
“I can’t count the number of gay friends I have in my head! Isn’t that awesome?” He still cautions that many of his classmates are closeted and that victory isn’t complete. As Witeck says, “Students today still have their own aspirations, fears, risks and needs.”
Anyone walking the grounds at UVA must know that time has been on the side of LGBT students. Just ask Wynn and his date, sitting over on the Lawn, both with their winning smiles.
Wynn’s ancestor, Socrates Maupin, joined UVA as a student in 1828 and later returned as faculty. The Civil War occurred while he was chairman of the faculty. It was Socrates Maupin who refinanced the university on his credit, reconstituted the faculty and returned the university to the Union — clearly marking progress and forward momentum.
Today, if Socrates — or Witeck — were to return to the grounds, they’d walk past an open door on the ground floor of Newcomb Hall where Scott Rheinheimer leads the LGBT Resource Center. New to his job, he is amazed at the support and resources for the center.
“From Dean Groves to the Serpentine Society to the faculty and the administration, everyone here has welcomed me openly and warmly,” Rheinheimer said.
So, Witeck lived in a desert so today’s students, like Wynn, could enjoy an oasis.
“I think that students inherently face a number of challenges acclimating to the college environment,” said Wynn. “What’s fortunate is that the university has made great strides in being inclusive and accepting. Like Bob, many students feel they must hide their orientation — from their parents, from their classmates and even from their friends. There are still challenges to coming out, but I think that it’s getting easier, and it’s getting better.”
Brent Mundt is collecting alumni stories for a book. Reach him at [email protected].
Rehoboth Beach
Rehoboth mayor calls for commissioner’s resignation after investigation into improper behavior
Suzanne Goode ‘has violated her oath of office, disgraced position of commissioner’
Rehoboth Mayor Stan Mills called for the resignation of Commissioner Suzanne Goode, following release of an independent investigation into Goode’s behavior that led Mills to conclude she has violated her oath of office.
Over the past few months, city staff have complained about Commissioner Goode’s extensive and inappropriate communications with them.
In June, Goode went to the house of a fellow commissioner in an attempt to settle a dispute she was having with his neighbor on the online platform NextDoor. Goode also has a history of using anti-LGBTQ language in various emails.
“I believe we’ve come to the point where we can take the most severe action we can take at this time to end Commissioner Goode’s intentional lies and harassment,” said Mills. “This has never been about differences of opinions on issues, but rather about uncivil behavior.”
“Commissioner Goode has violated her oath of office and has disgraced the position of commissioner, and she should resign,” said Mills.
In late June, the city of Rehoboth hired Margaret DiBianca, an attorney who specializes in business and employment conflict resolution, to investigate allegations of harassment and inappropriate behavior by Goode toward city employees and fellow commissioners.
DiBianca submitted the 17-page report on Aug. 12. On Aug. 21, a majority of the commissioners voted to release a redacted version of the report to the public.
Before the vote, Commissioner Susan Stewart, who is set to be sworn in as mayor next month, said that releasing the report is necessary.
“In most workplaces, the documented conduct would warrant her termination,” said Stewart.
“Our laws provide no such path for an elected official. To simply move on would mean keeping this conduct secret, leaving the victims to shoulder the burden themselves without institutional support,” said Stewart.
The investigation reported that Goode had sent nearly 2,000 emails to city employees since 2024 with more emails being sent almost daily. Only 90 emails from June and July were used in the scope of the investigation.
The report found that the emails contained “intentionally degrading and derogatory language, references to individuals’ family members, religion, and disabilities, as well as language hostile to the LGBTQIA+ community.”
The following emails were noted in the report as examples of ‘hostile’ language toward the LGBTQIA+ community:
“On November 7, 2025, Cmr. Goode wrote to a constituent, “PS just curious – how does this alienate the ‘Queens’ in [the City] more than the non-queens in the sense how is it a LGBTQ issue? (Not everything in [the City] revolves around gays, right?).”
“On November 15, 2025, Cmr. Goode said to the Targeted Employees “conservatives now have to remain in the closet (conservatives now have to do what gays had to do in the 20th century – ah, the irony) who object to the woke, drag queen bent of [Clear Space Theatre] at times.”
“On December 29, 2025, Cmr. Goode wrote to a constituent, “straight white males like yourself and my husband might as well just shoot themselves. Pale, stale and male doesn’t cut it in this town, eh?”
The report stated: “The volume of emails and the short intervals between communications sent by Goode reveal a pattern of conduct designed to intimidate, demean and harass rather than to advance legitimate city business.”
The report demonstrated multiple instances of Goode circumventing directives from Mayor Mills requiring her to cease inappropriate communications with city staff.
The conclusion of the report found that Goode’s behavior “falls substantially and demonstrably outside the bounds of acceptable professional behavior expected of an elected official and public servant in violation of the City’s Civility Code and, in turn, constitutes a violation of the Ethics Code.”
“Cmr. Goode’s communications do not foster a “respectful, courteous, and professional work environment” and do not reflect the “dignity and respect” required by the Civility Code.”
The report outlined six recommendations for the city to follow to address Goode’s behavior.
The recommendations included prohibiting Goode from contacting city employees and accessing administrative offices, and requiring Goode to undergo city-approved training on subjects such as respectful workplace behavior.
At the Aug. 21 meeting, the Commissioners voted to adopt all six recommendations.
During the meeting, Goode was given time to respond before the official release of the report.
“When an investigation is an attorney up in Wilmington looking at emails, who never contacts me, obviously it is a one-sided investigation,” said Goode. “The investigative reporter never got my side of anything. I was never given the opportunity to defend myself.”
“In June, Commissioner Goode’s communication became even worse,” City Manager Taylour Tedder told the Blade this week.
Tedder said that the volume of messages jumped to nearly 100 emails just in the month of June.
Tedder identified himself and City Solicitor Lisa Borin Ogden. He said that each of them filed multiple complaints, with one of them being to the Human Resources director.
“With an elected official, there is no way to reprimand or punish them because they’re not an employee,” said Tedder.
Brooke Thaler, communications director for the city of Rehoboth, expressed her frustration with the city’s inability to take serious action against Goode.
“That’s just a bit mind-boggling that something like this can go on, and there’s nothing that can be done about it,” said Thaler.
“The public put their trust in her when they elected her, and I don’t think that their intention was for her to so badly mistreat city staff,” Thaler told the Blade.
“It’s highly doubtful that she will stop, but I think the fact that these protections are in place to at least insulate the employees from receiving it when she’s not in person is a good step,” said Tedder.
Goode responded to the Blade’s request for comment by saying:
“Friday’s session was a kangaroo court and a blatant weaponization of FOIA. The entire report relies on systematic misrepresentation. Time and again, comments I shared from social media or resident outreach were falsely attributed directly to me.
“Without context, these claims are meaningless. As just one example, the city manager accuses me of using a vulgar word on a phone call—a word I do not use (p. 6, line 22). The investigating attorney never even contacted me, proving this process was never meant to be fair,” said Goode.
“I will not validate or accept an investigation built on inaccurate claims.”
Goode has not announced plans to resign.
Maryland
Girlfriends charged with Silver Spring murder to go on trial in 2027
Prosecutors charged both women with killing mother of one of them
Two women identified as a couple who are charged with the May 22, 2026, murder of the mother one of them in her Silver Spring home and who were arrested three weeks later in Ohio are scheduled to go on trial for murder April 19, 2027.
According to online records filed with Montgomery County Circuit Court in Rockville, Vanessa Tjongarero-Henderson, 29, of Clarksburg, Md., and Samantha Raebel, 36, of Phoenix are being held without bond in the Montgomery County Correctional Facility until the time of their trial.
Statements from Montgomery County police show the two women were arrested June 10 in Genoa, Ohio, after fleeing from the scene of the murder in Silver Spring. Police statements and court records show they were extradited back to Maryland in July, where prosecutors with the Montgomery County State’s Attorney’s Office obtained indictments against them for murder.
Earlier statements from Montgomery County police say their investigation into the murder led to their decision to initially charge the two women with first-degree murder for the death of Hilde Henderson, 67, who was Tjongarero-Henderson’s mother.
“Through the course of the investigation, detectives identified Henderson’s daughter, Vanessa Tjongarero-Henderson, and Vanessa’s girlfriend, Raebel, as the suspects,” one of the police statements says. It says police obtained arrest warrants for both women and launched a nationwide search seeking help from the public in in locating them.
One of the police statements says an autopsy determined the cause of Hilde Henderson’s death was blunt-force trauma injuries brought about by a murder. Police and the State’s Attorney’s Office, which is prosecuting the case, have yet to disclose whether they have determined a motive for the murder.
Court records show that prior to the start of the April 19, 2027, trial a “motion” hearing was scheduled for Oct. 30, 2026, a pre-trail conference was scheduled for Feb. 12, 2027, and another motion hearing and a status hearing were scheduled for March 12, 2027.
Court records also show that Tjongarero-Henderson is being represented by attorneys with the Montgomery County court system’s public defender service. The records show that Raebel initially had been represented by a public defender service attorney, but updated records show Aug. 14 is listed as the “removal date” for that attorney.
The docket shows that on Aug. 20, two new attorneys with the prominent D.C. law firm of Covington & Burling made their official appearance as her attorneys in the murder case. One of them, Daniel Solomon, told the Washington Blade in response to an inquiry that the defense has no comment at this time on the case.
He confirmed that Covington & Burling is representing Raebel on a no-cost, pro bono bass.
The office of the Montgomery County public defender service didn’t immediately respond to a phone message from the Blade asking for a comment on the Tjongarero-Henderson case.
Delaware
Delaware fines Rehoboth bar $15,000 for discriminating against trans woman
Hideout told patron she had to use men’s room due to gender marker on driver’s license
The Delaware Human and Civil Rights Commission voted to fine Hideout Arcade Bar & Grille $15,000 last month due to a discrimination complaint filed by a trans woman over her use of the bathroom.
Katie Sorber, a transgender woman, said that on April 5, 2023, she was stopped by employees and told she could only use the men’s bathroom due to the “male” gender marker on her driver’s license. This occurred after Sorber presented her ID upon entering the bar and ordering a drink.
Sorber took to Facebook to complain about her experience at the bar after she was told to use the men’s bathroom.
On April 12, 2023, Sorber returned to the Hideout but was barred from entering due to her post on social media.
Following Sorber’s post, Bryan Derrickson, the owner of Hideout Arcade Bar & Grille, allegedly began enforcing a policy in which patrons had to use the bathroom that corresponded to the gender marker on their ID.
Derrickson was ordered to pay $10,000 to Sorber, $5,000 to the Special Administration Fund, as well as conduct anti-discrimination training with employees, remove the ban on Sorber from the establishment, and revise the bar’s bathroom policy.
The commission ruled that the bar and Derrickson had wrongfully discriminated against Sorber on the basis of her gender.
Derrickson’s explanations for the denial included safety concerns, a third-party patron complaint, and a reference to the health code. The panel found this to be inconsistent and lacking factual support upon cross-examination.
The case was evaluated under the Delaware Equal Accommodations Law, which explicitly prohibits discrimination and retaliation in places of public accommodation based on gender identity.
This was the second time that the bar has been fined for discriminating against a transgender woman. The bar received a $2,000 penalty in September of last year for denying a transgender woman entry in 2023.
Half of the fine went to Kathy Carpenter Brown, the trans woman who experienced the discrimination. Brown is the founder of TransLiance, an LGBTQ+ advocacy group in Delaware.
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