Arts & Entertainment

On being a diva

Actress’s book offers advice, Hollywood dish

Published

14 years ago

May 10, 2012

Terri Schlichenmeyer

‘Redefining Diva’
By Sheryl Lee Ralph
Gallery Books
$14/200 pages

(Image courtesy Gallery Books)

Is it so horrible to know what you want?

You don’t think so. That’s why you’re decisive, you state your needs clearly and firmly, and you expect people to act accordingly. What’s wrong with that?

Nothing. So why do people call you the “B” word that rhymes with itch? You’re not nasty or horrible, so why would they call you a diva?

Author Sheryl Lee Ralph doesn’t know the answer. But, as she says in her new book, “Redefining Diva,” if they call you that last name, you really should thank them.

OK, so you’re a diva. What is that, anyhow?

The word, says Ralph, has gotten a bum rap lately, but it was originally an Italian noun derived from the Latin word for deity; in other words, a diva is a goddess. Ralph also says that the word is an acronym for Divinely Inspired Victoriously Anointed.

A diva, says Ralph, “copies no one. She is her own woman.”

Ralph became a diva through a lifetime of observing strong women. Her mother, a Jamaican immigrant, worked in a hospital to pay for her ticket to America. Ralph’s grandmother, a North Carolina belle, was headstrong and fearless enough to tussle with the burglars who killed her husband.

Divas, you see, know that risks are to be seized.

At 16, Ralph took on a big risk when she went to Rutgers University.

She had initially considered going to medical school, but she hated dissecting. She switched to law school, but it was “boring.” Then Ralph stumbled into drama auditions, tried out for a play, and found her niche.

When a Diva discovers what she’s meant to do, Ralph says, she knows it.

After working with the Defense Department, she landed in Hollywood and the movies, but Broadway was her first love. Good Diva that she is, she tackled every opportunity, which eventually gained her a part as one of the original Dreamgirls in the stage show. She ultimately quit the show, went back to Hollywood, and enjoyed more fame on television.

Today, Ralph still acts because Divas know “yes” can be satisfying. She also works with the Diva Foundation, an organization that focuses on HIV/AIDS awareness and testing. She does it to memorialize her friends and because, she says, a “real Diva counts… her blessings.”

I wasn’t sure what to expect when “Redefining Diva” crossed my desk. Is it a memoir? Or is it meant to inspire?

The answer to that is, delightfully, both.

Author Sheryl Lee Ralph weaves a lot of advice into this biography, giving readers plenty of takeaways while she shares tales of family, fame and folly.

And that’s what makes this book so enjoyable: Ralph imparts life lessons in between star-studded gossip and her own experiences, on-stage and off. Advisements are wrapped inside anecdotes, which somehow make them more memorable and definitely more fun to read.

I liked this book, and I think you will, too. Read “Redefining Diva” for the advice. Read it for the biography. Either way, this’ll be a book you’ll want.

Related Topics:Redefining Diva Sheryl Lee Ralph

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Spark Social will host “Open Mic Night” on Thursday, Aug. 13 at 8 p.m. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

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Get ready to share your talent or just kick back and enjoy some great performances. This event is a fun, laid-back vibe where everyone’s welcome to take the stage. Sign-ups are first-come, first-served, but you can also DM Spark Social on Instagram to reserve a performance spot. Whether you’re a singer, poet, or comedian, this is your chance to get on stage and share your art. More details are available on Eventbrite.

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Friday, July 31

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Happy Hour” at 7 p.m. at DIK Bar. This is a chance to relax, make new friends, and enjoy happy hour specials at this classic retro venue. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Saturday, August 1

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Sunday, August 2

“Black Gay Flea: Summer Kickback” will be at 12 p.m. at Wunder Garten. This is a space created to celebrate Black LGBTQ+ creatives, artists, makers, entrepreneurs, and the community that shows up for them. Come spend the afternoon shopping with local vendors, discovering new brands, supporting small businesses, and connecting with people from across the DMV. More details are on Eventbrite.

Monday, August 3

“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).

Tuesday, August 4

The DC Anti-Violence Project will host “Soul Centered” at 7 p.m. at Thurst Lounge. This is not a dating event in the traditional sense. It is a space to meet kindred spirits, future collaborators, mentors, friends, or maybe someone who reminds you of what’s possible. Romance may happen, but it’s not the expectation. For more details, visit DCAVP website.

Wednesday, August 5

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.

Center Aging Women’s Social & Discussion Group will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This group is a place where older LGBTQ+ women can meet and socialize with one another. To register, visit the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s website.

Thursday, August 6

The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the Center. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245.

Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breath work and meditation that allows LGBTQ+ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s website.