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A bi adventure

Novel tells 70-year story of character’s many loves

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‘In One Person’
By John Irving
Simon & Schuster
$28/429 pages

When you look back over your life, you notice things that make you say, “Yes. That makes sense.”

You always wondered why you love certain foods, adore cozy smells, or have a way with words — until you learn that your mother loved those foods, your grandfather wore that scent, and your father was a writer once.

Billy Abbott sometimes wondered why he was drawn to certain people and not to others. But in the new novel “In One Person” by John Irving, everything falls into place when he discovers truths about his family.

It was almost fitting, really, that Billy’s stepfather, Richard, introduced Billy to Miss Frost, the librarian.

Richard thought he was ushering Billy into the riches of the library in First Sister, Vt. Richard thought he was doing something positive for the 13-year-old but the well-meaning introduction was inadvertently apt: Billy had had a mad crush on Richard and upon meeting Miss Frost, he crushed on her, too.

They were his first two “crushes on the wrong people.”

Billy wasn’t sure why, but his aunt and grandmother sneered when they spoke of Miss Frost. Grandpa Harry seemed to like her; maybe it was because he had an eye for the feminine. He was, after all, First Sister’s best-known actor, beloved for playing female parts in the community theater.

Aside from Miss Frost, Billy was oddly crazy about Kittredge, his school’s best wrestler. Kittredge could be cruel, but Billy wondered what it might be like to receive one of Kittredge’s wrestling holds. He also thought often about Mrs. Hadley, his best friend’s mother, imagining her in a training bra.

As the years passed and Billy fell in and out of love with both men and women, he was careful in bed but not in his heart. He lost so many of his friends and former lovers to AIDS; so many that he nearly lost track.

But one person kept track of Billy throughout his entire life. It was the one person who held the key to a memory that, for Billy, made so much sense…

Though it’s easy to slip into, and though the narrator of this story quickly becomes a friend, “In One Person” is a long book to read.

Author John Irving’s Billy is a storyteller, moving throughout his almost-70 years of remembrances of loves and losses, repeating, revealing and admitting that he’s getting ahead of himself. Despite that the dialogue is sometimes cumbersome, it’s also appealing because Irving writes the way people talk.

And talk his characters do: Billy is observant and funny, sometimes disturbing, often achingly sweet, and possessing a wit you’ll start to crave and heartbreak he doesn’t hide. Yes, this book felt long at times, but Irving’s Billy makes you stick around for every single page.

Much like other John Irving novels, “In One Person” is not a book you’ll want to race through. It demands your time and attention, but you won’t be sorry giving either. If you’re up for a book like that, reading it just makes sense.

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PHOTOS: World Pride March

LGBTQ rights demonstration held in Amsterdam

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A scene from the 2026 World Pride March in Amsterdam. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The 2026 World Pride March was held on Saturday, Aug. 8 in Amsterdam. Tens of thousands of participants marched from Martin Luther Kingpark to the grounds of the Pride Village at Museumplein.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

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PHOTOS: Daddy Issues at Kiki

Evry Pleasure, Tiara Missou-Sidora, Indiana Bones perform

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Evry Pleasure performs at the 'Daddy Issues' drag show at Kiki on Wednesday. (Washington Blade photo by Landon Shackelford)

The weekly drag show “Daddy Issues” was held at Kiki on Wednesday, Aug. 5. Performers included Evry Pleasure, Indiana Bones and Tiara Missou-Sidora.

(Washington Blade photos by Landon Shackelford)

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Books

Something’s off about Dad. When is it time to step in?

‘When Memory Fades’ can help when families face dementia

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(Book cover image courtesy of St. Martin's Essentials)

‘When Memory Fades’
By Nathaniel Chin, MD
c.2026, St. Martin’s Essentials
$30/422 pages

Mom called you in a panic the other day.

She’d lost her keys and by the time you arrived to help, she’d found them. In the refrigerator.

These kinds of things keep happening, not often but often enough, and you don’t know quite what to worry about. But in the new book “When Memory Fades” by Nathaniel Chin, MD, you’ll learn about the journey ahead, for both of you.

You can’t remember why you walked into a room. You got lost last week, going to the bank. Popular wisdom says that things like that are normal as we age, but Chin says that’s not true – although the answer may not be a worst-case scenario, either. Yes, memory problems could just be signs of stress, dehydration, or lack of sleep – or is it time to see a doctor?

Chin says maybe, yes.

He was working his way through medical residency when his father, a geriatrician in Madison, Wisc., was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Chin, now a geriatrician, was blindsided, but that diagnosis also changed his life.

Here, he writes about the brain, and how Alzheimer’s and dementia are diagnosed, explaining that dementia has many faces and, depending on a doctor’s evaluation, memory problems might be slowed or improved. He shares his father’s illness with readers, but he also writes about his mother, a steadfast, steady caretaker.

Her story reminds reader-guardians to care for themselves, too.

Know how to talk the talk, so that you can have “a more productive” conversation with your doctor. Understand that there’s nothing “normal” about dementia or Alzheimer’s. Know the statistics – African Americans are affected with dementia twice as much as whites – and know how to lower your risks. Learn here what questions to ask, how to break the news to everyone, and any legal matters that will be important soon. And know how to tend to you.

Says Chin, “The best action you can take is to educate yourself… The more you understand, the better equipped you are to make sound judgments.”

Something’s off about Dad, just a lot of little things that don’t add up. When is it time to step in? “When Memory Fades” can help you decide.

Wise, wide-spread, comprehensive, and compassionately helpful, this is a book you can read and then take it to the doctor with your loved one. It’s a book that makes sense when nothing else does, and its biggest feature is that it smoothly transitions from easy-to-grasp science and charts, to gentle coaching for caregivers. Author Nathaniel Chin, MD writes with storytelling, humility, grace, and experience from both sides of the Alzheimer’s/dementia issue, and his words are reassuring but also urgent. Learn, but don’t wait, he says. Know how to safeguard yourself. See your doctor, and don’t fear testing. Watch for signs of depression. And never, ever stop asking for help.

Read those last seven words, and find “When Memory Fades” now. It’s a book to have on your shelf, whether you’re 45 or 95 because, as you’ll see, dementia happens and knowledge is key.

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