Living
N.J. gay couple celebrates 51st anniversary
Vince Grimm and Will Kratz met at a downtown Reading, Pa., gay bar
VILLAS, N.J.—Vince Grimm had just left the U.S. Army Security Agency after a two-year deployment in Korea when he returned to the Reading, Pa., gay bar scene in 1961. A 20-year-old farm boy quickly caught his eye at the Big Apple Bar.
“We saw each other on and off at the bar,” said Grimm. “He was cute, blonde and kind of flamboyant — just my type.”
More than five decades later, Will Kratz pointed out with a hearty chuckle during an interview at their home that overlooks Delaware Bay a few miles north of New Jersey’s southernmost point that they consummated their relationship in the back of a 1957 Cadillac. “There was plenty of room,” added Grimm.
Kratz, who joked he was 13 when asked his age (he turns 73 later this year,) noted that Reading crime boss Abe Minker essentially allowed the gay bars to flourish because they provided a steady stream of revenue to what Grimm described as the “most corrupt city on the East Coast.” He said this pre-Stonewall scenario was a far cry from nearby Philadelphia where undercover officers regularly shook down the city’s gay bars.
“That didn’t really happen in Reading because there was income coming in from everywhere,” said Grimm. “There was a price to pay for people that had businesses and everything like that, but he kind of controlled everything. The bars were basically a safe place to go.”
“So were the streets,” added Kratz. “Nothing bad ever happened on the streets.”
The couple, who celebrated their 51st anniversary the day before the Blade interviewed them on Aug. 9, stressed that they never experienced any sort of harassment or discrimination outside of Kratz’s much older brother who never accepted his homosexuality. Their sexual orientation was never a secret to their parents and classmates. “Everybody knew us,” said Grimm, 75. “We were sexually active in school; never had any problems.”
“We had no idea we were setting a precedent”
Kratz began to perform in drag on stage in the backroom of the Zanzibar, another downtown Reading gay bar, in 1959. Grimm quickly noted that Kratz was underage at the time, but management overlooked this fact.
“They didn’t give a shit at the bar, as long as you behaved, as long as you weren’t too small to get over the bar,” added Kratz.
Kratz decided a couple of years later that he wanted to make the shows bigger. He approached the owner of the Big Apple Bar whose relatives owned a picnic grove outside Reading with buildings and a pavilion. They agreed to rent the space to him.
“Then we decided, well we’ve got to have money for these drag shows and where are we going to get it? Well let’s have barbecue chicken parties, so we had three a summer at that location,” said Kratz.
Kratz and Grimm also organized drag shows that became increasingly popular among locals (Photo courtesy of Vince Grimm and Will Kratz)
Nearly 300 people paid $5 to attend the first party that took place in 1961, but they quickly grew in popularity. Up to 1,500 revelers who came from as far away as northern New Jersey, Baltimore and even D.C. on themed buses that included those dressed as Vatican officials and the Pope attended the parties. A lesbian once arrived on an elephant with two tigers she borrowed from a local circus.
Grimm noted that they were the Reading Brewery’s largest single customer — the company delivered beer to the parties in tractor trailer trucks. Organizers also hired local firefighters, police officers and justices of the peace to work in the parking lot to thwart underage people who wanted to sneak into the gatherings.
“There was no other place for them to go, so that was like our first line of defense,” said Grimm. “Plus it made us kind of look legitimate.”
They soon, however, began to draw the attention of the Pennsylvania State Police because they created traffic jams on the local roads. Grimm noted that some of the troopers who investigated them were homophobic.
“We had some stand offs when they would come in and just kind of sit there in a car and try to intimate people,” said Grimm, who was the president of the group that organized the party. Kratz was its treasurer. “One time I think I must have stood out — stood there just staring at ‘em for like an hour, not making a move: well, when you’re ready to ask me questions I’ll be happy to answer.”
Grimm recalled one incident in which the state police claimed that underage people had attended the party. Troopers called the state Liquor Control Board that subsequently confiscated the tractor trailer that had delivered beer.
“We got on the phone with the Reading Brewery and said we have a problem,” recalled Grimm. “They said you don’t have any problem. We’re going to be there with another tractor-trailer of beer within the hour. Don’t worry about the Liquor Control Board; we’ll take care of them. Another tractor-trailer full of kegs of beer showed up within the hour.”
The only other incident that the couple said they had was a rumored police raid. The couple sought advice from another local District Justice about what to do if authorities arrested them, but she was initially confused about the entire situation.
“‘Oh my God you’re having these huge parties and all you guys are queer,’” said the judge, according to Grimm. “I said, ‘Yeah.’ She said, ‘Well … the law is the law and I’ll abide by the law. If you’ve not done anything, if everything is in place you don’t have anything to worry about.’”
Grimm then reached out to a Reading lawyer who worked for the American Civil Liberties Union to “cover my bases.” He also didn’t understand the potential problem that the couple faced.
“I tried to explain everything to him and he said the ACLU doesn’t have anything to do with a group like yours,” said Grimm. “They haven’t even gotten involved yet in gay groups. This was something totally new.”
In addition to the three parties they organized each year, Grimm and Kratz also staged drag shows that featured choreographers and up to 10 performers on stage at any given time. Judy Garland and Barbra Streisand proved popular muses, but some participants wrote entire operettas and made their costumes.
“The fire police people and the local JPs kind of found out that we were having these shows and they said, well how come you never ask us to come to these shows. We said you can come,” said Grimm. “They started to come to the Sunday matinees; they would come in suits. Their wives would come in their furs. It was totally unbelievable. This was their theater. We were their theater and they were actually the best audience that we had. We got standing ovations. They would go crazy. They couldn’t wait for us.”
A combination of Philadelphia’s burgeoning drag scene and a lack of interest among younger people prompted the couple to end their parties in 1979.
“It sounds like we were doing great things only in retrospect now because back then, we knew what we were doing, but we had no idea what we were doing,” said Kratz, who designed displays for the Strawbridge and Clothier department store at the time. “We knew our drag. We knew how to sew costume. We had no idea we were setting a precedent, for anybody. We just wanted to provide a safe place for the 1,500 or so people who ended up coming and the 500-600 who came to our shows in four weekends. We had no idea we were pre-anything else like Stonewall. We weren’t out on the streets looking for freedom. We already had it.”
Couple’s activism, generosity expands beyond Pa.
Grimm, a former engineer, joined a Bucks County group that supported people with AIDS at the beginning of the epidemic in the early 1980s that became the template for Pennsylvania’s statewide service organization for those with the virus. He also volunteered for the South Jersey AIDS Alliance and became a board member after he and Kratz retired to Cape May in 1996.
They also joined GABLES Cape May, an LGBT community and support group with more than 200 members from across the county that formed in the mid-1990s in response to homophobic commentaries about the area’s growing gay population that began to appear in the local newspaper. The organization has raised nearly $150,000 for the local Red Cross chapter and other community organizations. Both Grimm and Kratz are also on the Lower Cape May Regional High School’s advisory board.
“We know that the gays that are going to the high school over here are being harassed and are being harassed by their classmates,” said Grimm, who said this bullying does not occur at a nearby technical school where the students are more accepting of their LGBT classmates. “The kids are basically walking around hand-in-hand and nobody cares.”
The group also played a role in efforts to secure passage of both New Jersey’s domestic partnership registry and civil unions law — the couple entered into one two days after the state’s civil unions law took effect in 2007. Grimm, who is also a minister, continues to officiate these ceremonies throughout the Cape May area.
“The biggest reason for us to do it immediately was death things,” said Kratz. “When you die, the tax rate is astronomical. Now that’s going to be somewhat less. Domestic partnership is not marriage, but it’s close. We’ve heard stories and meet people that one lover died and they had to sell the house and the business to pay the tax.”
He added that he does not think that he and Grimm will live to see the day when gays and lesbians can legally tie the knot in New Jersey. Gov. Chris Christie in February vetoed a same-sex marriage bill, but Kratz stressed he expects gay weddings will eventually happen in the Garden State.
“I thought if marriage passes, am I going to have yet another dress because we had to do two ceremonies,” he joked.
When asked about the most romantic thing the couple had done for each other, Kratz immediately said travel. He and Grimm went to India and Egypt in the 1970s and have traveled around the world twice. They established the Nguyen Zian Quynh-Vince Will Education Foundation to help fatherless Vietnamese children attend school after they visited the Southeast Asian country in 2006 and befriended a guide after whom they named it.
“That’s probably one of the best, rewarding things we do,” said Grimm.
Both men stressed they remain in love with each other after 51 years.
“I’ve never had a day in my life that I wanted to kill him,” said Kratz, although he joked he came close last month after Grimm left his passport in his suitcase when they boarded a cruise ship in Copenhagen. “Never, never have I had a moment where I said I didn’t want to be here.”
Grimm added that Kratz has “backed me all of the way.”
“If I had one wish it would be that everyone could have a supporting partner like he is,” he said.
Valentine’s Day is often portrayed as a celebration of romantic love — flowers, chocolates, and candlelit dinners. But for many LGBTQ+ individuals and couples, Valentine’s Day can also be a moment to reflect on something deeper: the love that creates a safe, welcoming home.
For LGBTQ+ home buyers and sellers, homeownership is more than a financial milestone—it is an act of belonging, resilience, and pride. Owning a home can mean finally having a place where you can hold hands with your partner on the front porch, decorate with your authentic style, and build a life free from judgment. In this way, buying or selling a home is one of the most meaningful love stories many LGBTQ+ people will ever write.
This Valentine’s Day, whether you’re a first-time gay home buyer, a same-sex couple upgrading your space, or an LGBTQ+ seller moving on to your next chapter, it’s worth thinking about how love, identity, and real estate intersect—and how to navigate that journey with confidence, protection, and the right support.
Love, Identity, and the Meaning of ‘Home’
For generations, LGBTQ+ people were denied equal access to housing, homeownership, and legal protections. Even today, many LGBTQ+ home buyers still face subtle bias, uncomfortable interactions, or outright discrimination in the real estate process.
That’s why finding LGBTQ+ friendly real estate and an affirming gay friendly realtor or lesbian realtor matters so much. A home isn’t just a building—it’s a personal sanctuary. Working with LGBTQ+ real estate agents who understand your lived experience can make all the difference between a stressful transaction and a joyful one.
For over 30 years, GayRealEstate.com has been the leading gay real estate network, connecting LGBTQ+ home buyers and sellers with gay real estate agents, lesbian real estate agents, and LGBTQ+ friendly realtors who truly “get it.” Their mission has always been simple yet powerful: to ensure that every LGBTQ+ person has access to safe, respectful, and inclusive real estate services.
Finding Your Match: Choosing the Right LGBTQ+ Friendly Realtor
Much like dating, finding the right real estate agent is about compatibility, trust, and communication. Here are some key tips for choosing the best LGBTQ+ real estate representation:
- Look for experience with LGBTQ+ clients. Search for a gay realtor near me or lesbian realtor near me through GayRealEstate.com, where agents are vetted for cultural competency and community commitment.
- Ask about their experience with same-sex couple home buying. A strong agent should understand issues like joint ownership, legal protections, and financing considerations.
- Choose someone who listens. You should feel safe sharing your priorities—whether that includes proximity to LGBTQ+ nightlife, affirming schools, or lesbian-friendly neighborhoods.
- Prioritize respect and transparency. Your agent should advocate for you, not just push a quick sale.
The right gay friendly real estate agent isn’t just helping you buy a house—they’re helping you find a place to build your life.
Best Cities for LGBTQ+ Home Buyers
If love is your compass, location is your map. Some of the best cities for LGBTQ+ home buyers consistently offer strong community presence, legal protections, and welcoming neighborhoods:
- Wilton Manors, Florida – A hub for LGBTQ+ culture with thriving LGBTQ+ real estate opportunities
- Palm Springs, California – A long-standing LGBTQ+ retirement and second-home destination
- Provincetown, Massachusetts – Historic LGBTQ+ community with progressive housing protections
- Asheville, North Carolina – Growing market with inclusive real estate services
- Fort Lauderdale, Florida – Diverse, welcoming, and highly sought-after for LGBTQ+ home ownership
Working with GayRealEstate.com allows you to connect with local LGBTQ+ real estate experts who know these markets inside and out.
Navigating Legal Protections in LGBTQ+ Real Estate
Love is universal—but legal protections are not always consistent. Understanding your rights is essential when buying or selling a home as an LGBTQ+ person.
Key protections include:
- Fair Housing Act (FHA): Prohibits discrimination based on sex, which courts have increasingly interpreted to include sexual orientation and gender identity.
- State and local protections: Many cities and states offer additional safeguards against LGBTQ+ housing discrimination.
- Same-sex couple legal considerations: If you are married, joint ownership is typically straightforward. If not, consult an attorney about co-ownership agreements.
A knowledgeable LGBTQ+ friendly realtor from GayRealEstate.com can help guide you through these complexities and connect you with trusted legal professionals when needed.
Buying a Home as an LGBTQ+ Person: Practical Tips
If you’re embarking on your home-buying journey this Valentine’s season, here are smart, practical steps to take:
- Clarify your priorities. Do you want a vibrant LGBTQ+ neighborhood, quiet suburbs, or access to queer community spaces?
- Get pre-approved for a mortgage. This strengthens your position in competitive markets.
- Work with an LGBTQ+ real estate agent. Searching “finding a gay real estate agent” or “finding a lesbian real estate agent” through GayRealEstate.com is a great first step.
- Research inclusive communities. Some neighborhoods are more welcoming than others.
- Know your rights. If you experience bias, document it and seek legal guidance.
Buying a home is an act of self-love—and community love.
Selling a Home as an LGBTQ+ Person
Selling can be just as emotional as buying, especially if your home represents years of memories with your partner, friends, or chosen family.
When selling a home as an LGBTQ+ person, consider:
- Working with a gay friendly realtor who will market your home inclusively
- Highlighting LGBTQ+ community appeal in listings
- Being prepared for potential buyer bias (and knowing how to respond)
- Leaning on GayRealEstate.com’s LGBTQ+ real estate services for trusted guidance
Your story—and your home—deserve respect.
Real Estate for LGBTQ+ Families
More LGBTQ+ couples are raising children, fostering, or building blended families. This makes homeownership even more meaningful.
When searching for real estate for LGBTQ+ families, consider:
- LGBTQ+ affirming school districts
- Family-friendly queer communities
- Safe neighborhoods with inclusive values
- Access to LGBTQ+ resources and social networks
GayRealEstate.com specializes in helping LGBTQ+ families find homes that truly fit their lives.
Love, Pride, and Homeownership
At its core, Valentine’s Day is about connection. For LGBTQ+ people, homeownership can be one of the most profound expressions of love—love for yourself, your partner, your family, and your future.
Whether you are a first-time gay home buyer, a same-sex couple relocating, or an LGBTQ+ seller moving forward, you deserve an experience rooted in dignity, fairness, and celebration.
For over three decades, GayRealEstate.com has stood as the leading source for LGBTQ+ real estate, gay real estate, lesbian real estate, and LGBTQ+ home buying and selling representation. Their nationwide network of gay real estate agents, lesbian-friendly real estate agents, and LGBTQ+ friendly realtors ensures that your real estate journey is guided by professionals who understand your heart—and your home.
This Valentine’s Day, let your next chapter be written in a place where you can truly belong. Because when love leads the way, home is never far behind.
Scott Helms is president and owner of Gayrealestate.com.
Dear Michael,
I keep getting rejected on the apps. I don’t want to put myself out there anymore.
I don’t understand gay men. I think they behave really badly.
Guys stop replying in the middle of a text conversation and then un-match me. Guys don’t show up when we make a plan to meet. After a date or even a hookup that it seems clear we both enjoyed, I never hear from the guy again.
I am a pretty good looking and successful guy. I’m not a model or a billionaire but I’m sincerely wanting to date and eventually share a life with someone.
Unfortunately, everyone I am meeting, even if they say they have similar aspirations for a partner, acts like they’re looking over my shoulder for something better, and drops me for I-don’t-know-what reason.
I don’t have a lot of trust in the sincerity of gay men.
I know I sound bitter but I’ve been at this for a while and it keeps happening.
I know there’s a saying that if it keeps happening to you, you must be the problem. Logically that makes sense.
Except, I think this keeps happening so often and so predictably that it’s not me. These people hardly know me. It’s more along the lines of, if everything about me isn’t exactly what they want, or some little thing that I say, think, or do offends them, they vanish.
I’m lonely, but what’s out there is awful. Maybe it’s best to not keep trying.
If you have a different way of seeing it that’s honest, not just some fluff to make me feel better and be hopeful, please enlighten me.
Michael replies:
I agree with you, there is a lot of this kind of behavior out there. I hear stories similar to yours all the time. Though people do find great relationships online, relying on apps to meet a partner can be tricky.
Hookup apps have little to do with any kind of real connection. Often, they don’t even have much to do with sex. For a lot of people, they’re more about trying to fill up some kind of emptiness and seeking validation. They also, obviously, objectify men, which is the opposite experience of what you’re seeking.
And dating apps lend themselves to a sort of takeout menu concept of dating. You get to specify exactly what you’re looking for—a little of this, a lot of that, please omit something else—and then believe you should get what you ordered. As if that really exists. And when something isn’t just what you wanted, forget it.
But life doesn’t work that way. Nor do people: You can enter the exact criteria for the man of your dreams, but he will surprise you or let you down at times in some major ways. That’s how it goes. Part of being in a relationship is accepting that we all have to deal with imperfection.
All that said, hordes of people are going to keep using all sorts of apps and keep looking for “perfect” partners and keep ditching perfectly fine guys for the most minuscule of reasons.
But that doesn’t mean that you have to stay on the apps if it’s demoralizing you and leaving you hopeless.
Before you sign off, perhaps you would like to have some fun and be creative. Just for example, you could write in your profile that you’re interested in meeting a guy who isn’t looking for perfection and is looking for a decent soul rather than a set of stats. You still might encounter a lot of guys who ghost you for no apparent reason, but you also might have some luck finding a sincere someone with relationship goals that are similar to yours.
Another, complimentary strategy: Toughen up your attitude to stop letting let these rejections get under your skin. They have little to do with who you are (unless you are oblivious to some major issue about yourself), so you needn’t take them personally. In other words, expect this to keep happening; and when it does, laugh and keep moving forward.
I understand you are feeling like giving up on gay men in general. Keep in mind that while there are a lot of reasons why many gay men focus more on sex and less on commitment, that isn’t true across the board. In my work over the years, I have met many gay men who are looking for what you’re seeking. You could strive to be hopeful that if you keep looking, you are likely to cross paths with some of them.
And where you look may play a role.
Whether or not you stay on the apps, I suggest you seek additional ways to meet a potential boyfriend. Before apps existed, people did find other ways to meet romantic partners, and these ways do still exist. I know that this path is not an easy one. The whole dating endeavor isn’t easy. But difficult is not impossible.
There are social and activity groups for gay men that are organized around some sort of shared interest. They aren’t overtly sexual, so often attract people who are interested in and looking for a deeper connection. Even if you don’t meet a boyfriend there, you might make some like-minded friends, and one thing may lead to another in all sorts of ways.
There’s also plenty you can do as a human being (not simply as a gay man) in the offline world that might interest and even uplift you, where you just might meet a man you like. Again, you might also simply make some friends, and through having a bigger social life, might ultimately meet your guy.
Simply put: Don’t let yourself feel like or be a victim. Don’t keep putting yourself in miserable situations. And figure out what it means for you to do your best to make what you’d like to happen, happen.
Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C., Maryland, Virginia, and New York. He can be found at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].
Real Estate
New year, new housing landscape for D.C. landlords
Several developments expected to influence how rental housing operates
As 2026 begins, Washington, D.C.’s rental housing landscape continues to evolve in ways that matter to small landlords, tenants, and the communities they serve. At the center of many of these conversations is the Small Multifamily & Rental Owners Association (SMOA), a D.C.–based organization that advocates for small property owners and the preservation of the city’s naturally occurring affordable housing.
At their December “DC Housing Policy Summit,” city officials, housing researchers, lenders, attorneys, and housing providers gathered to discuss the policies and proposals shaping the future of rental housing in the District. The topics ranged from recent legislative changes to emerging ballot initiatives and understanding how today’s policy decisions will affect housing stability tomorrow.
Why Housing Policy Matters in 2026
If you are a landlord or a tenant, several developments now underway in D.C., are expected to influence how rental housing operates in the years ahead.
One of the most significant developments is the Rebalancing Expectations for Neighbors, Tenants and Landlords (RENTAL) Act of 2025, a sweeping piece of legislation passed last fall and effective December 31, 2025, which updates a range of housing laws. This broad housing reform law will modernize housing regulations and address long-standing court backlogs, and in a practical manner, assist landlords with shortened notice and filing requirements for lawsuits. The Act introduces changes to eviction procedures, adjusts pre-filing notice timelines, and modifies certain tenant protections under previous legislation, the Tenant Opportunity to Purchase Act.
At the same time, the District has expanded its Rent Registry, to have a better overview of licensed rental units in the city with updated technology that tracks rental units subject to and exempt from rent control and other related housing information. Designed to improve transparency and enforcement, Rent Registry makes it easier for all parties to verify rent control status and compliance.
Looking ahead to the 2026 election cycle, a proposed ballot initiative for a two-year rent freeze is generating significant conversation. If it qualifies for the ballot and is approved by voters, the measure would pause rent increases across the District for two years. While still in the proposal phase, it reflects the broader focus on tenant affordability that continues to shape housing policy debates.
What This Means for Rental Owners
Taken together, these changes underscore how closely policy and day-to-day operations are connected for small landlords. Staying informed about notice requirements, registration obligations, and evolving regulations isn’t just a legal necessity. It’s a key part of maintaining stable, compliant rental properties.
With discussions underway about rent stabilization, voucher policies, and potential rent freezes, long-term revenue projections will be influenced by regulatory shifts just as much as market conditions alone. Financial and strategic planning becomes even more important to protect your interests.
Preparing for the Changes
As the owner of a property management company here in the District, I’ve spent much of the past year thinking about how these changes translate from legislation into real-world operations.
The first priority has been updating our eviction and compliance workflows to align with the RENTAL Act of 2025. That means revising how delinquent rent cases are handled, adjusting notice procedures, and helping owners understand how revised timelines and court processes may affect the cost, timing, and strategy behind enforcement decisions.
Just as important, we’re shifting toward earlier, more proactive communication around compliance and regulatory risk. Rather than reacting after policies take effect, we’re working to flag potential exposure in advance, so owners can make informed decisions before small issues become costly problems.
A Bigger Picture for 2026
Housing policy in Washington, D.C., has always reflected the city’s values from protecting tenants to preserving affordability in rapidly changing neighborhoods. As those policies continue to evolve, the challenge will be finding the right balance between stability for renters and sustainability for the small property owners who provide much of the city’s housing.
The conversations happening now at policy summits, in Council chambers, and across neighborhood communities will shape how rental housing is regulated. For landlords, tenants, and legislators alike, 2026 represents an opportunity to engage thoughtfully, to ask hard questions, and to create a future where compliance, fairness, and long-term stability go hand-in-hand.
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