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Queery: Lee Whitman

The local filmmaker answers 20 gay questions

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Lee Whitman (Blade photo by Jonathan Ellis)

Lee Whitman has been making films almost as long as he can remember.

The 29-year-old Derby, Kan., native grew up using his father’s video camera to make shorts and all through high school and college (he studied broadcast journalism at Wichita State Universtiy) he continued.

His first feature-length project, “War Stories” was on the festival circuit in 2009 and is now out on DVD. It tells the story of a kid named Tim who grew up believing his father was killed in the Gulf War but discovers he may still be alive. Whitman says he recouped the $20,000 he put into the film and is now at work on another with the working title of “16 Days and Counting,” which he says will be an LGBT-themed “relationship thriller.”

He also makes shorts and hopes to post a new one, as yet untitled, on YouTube within a week or so. Visit uncheckablefilms.com or find him on YouTube under the name “aedude01” to see his work.

Whitman says he’s lucky his “day job” is also creative. He works as a government contractor writing and directing TV commercials and PSAs for the Department of Defense.

“I love it because not only is it a field I really enjoy, I get to learn a lot of techniques with the PSAs I’d never use in a feature film,” he says.

Whitman has won two regional Emmy Awards for his government work.

He and boyfriend Quang Nguyen have been dating about a year. In his free time, Whitman enjoys photography, working out, wine, writing, running, tennis, the beach and, of course, watching movies.

He came to D.C. about five years ago from Kansas after his father’s Air Force career gave him the chance to live in California, Arkansas, Colorado, Wyoming, Illinois, South Carolina, Virginia and, of course, Kansas.

Whitman lives on Capitol Hill. (Blade photo by Jonathan Ellis)

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I’ve been out for just over 11 years now and it hasn’t always been the easiest journey. I would say the hardest people to tell were my immediate family: my mom, dad and little brother. They’re conservative Christian and they didn’t take it too well though they’ve gotten much better as time has gone on and now my little brother is one of my biggest supporters.

Who’s your LGBT hero?

Probably Eric Alva or Dan Savage. Alva for showing those who had their doubts that LGBT people can serve in our nation’s military with dignity and honor; Savage for his work for bullied teens and gay rights in general.

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?

The Gibson, hands down. Great drinks, fun atmosphere, hot waitstaff.

Describe your dream wedding.

I have two: one is a quiet beach wedding with close friends. The other is a gigantic state-style wedding with all the trappings. In both scenarios my family puts aside their religious views and is there to support me.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

Support for military families and for our veterans; I feel like both groups have been overlooked throughout our nation’s history. It’s only been in the past few years that people have started to notice that military families really serve too and that they need support! With Veterans there’s quite a bit more that we could and should be doing for them when it comes to health care, education, post-military job placement, etc.

What historical outcome would you change?

The election of George W. Bush and preventing 9-11 would be a good start.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

Either the Janet Jackson halftime nipple slip (and the following FCC court case) or the moment when the show “Battlestar Galactica” (2004) had the colonists arrive at earth midway through season four.

On what do you insist?

Integrity

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

FB: “A quick preview of what I’m working on … (Attached to an image from my upcoming short film debuting on YouTube next week.)”

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“Swimming in Celluloid: The Lee Whitman Story”

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

Stay gay. My struggles with my orientation, and for acceptance because of my orientation, have made me into the strong-willed, extroverted individual I am today. Why would I want to change that?

What do you believe in beyond the physical world?

I believe in the basic tenets of Christianity, but I do not adhere to a specific church doctrine.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

Focus on what’s important; The entire ordeal with Chick-fil-A was just silly. All that time and effort should have been focused on passing ENDA and repealing DOMA.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

A multi-picture film contract with a prominent film studio. Also my amazing boyfriend.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

The bitchy queen

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

“C.R.A.Z.Y.” — It’s a fun nostalgia trip and does a great job creating realistic characters that aren’t usually found in gay cinema.

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Passing greetings: When people walk by and say, “Hi how are you?”
and then past before you have a chance to answer them.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

An Oscar

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

Most of the crap you worry about happening won’t come to pass, so
don’t waste your time stressing about it! Focus on today, not tomorrow.

Why Washington?

Why not? It’s a fantastic town! It has equal rights, fantastic
food, intelligent discourse, handsome men and interesting museums.
What’s not to love?

 

 

 

 

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Learn more about queer love

Friends of Dorothy Cafe hosts event at City-State Public House

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Friends of Dorothy Cafe will host “Living History: How We Loved” on Thursday, May 14 at 7:30 p.m. at City-State Public House. 

Guests will hear how queer and trans people have loved and cared for one another, especially when legal, medical, and social systems did not recognize those relationships. We’ll reflect on chosen family, long-term partnerships before marriage equality, caregiving during the AIDS crisis, hidden romances, friendship as survival, chosen family, and the loves that changed the course of our lives. This evening is about honoring lived experience, preserving community memory, and strengthening the bridge between generations.

Tickets are $24.57 and are available on Eventbrite

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Calendar

Calendar: May 8-14

LGBTQ events in the days to come

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Friday, May 8

Center Aging Monthly Luncheon With Yoga will be at noon at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. Email Mac at [email protected] if you require ASL interpreter assistance, have any dietary restrictions, or questions about this event.

Women in their Twenties and Thirties will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a social discussion group for queer women in the Washington, D.C. area. For more details, visit the group’s Facebook

The DC Center for the LGBT Community will host “We Are Pat” at 12:30 p.m. This event takes a fresh look at the iconic Saturday Night Live sketch “It’s Pat” and traces how ideas about gender and what we laugh at have shifted from the ’90s to today. What began as a character born out of cultural anxiety around gender now lands in a world shaped by ongoing debates about transness and queerness. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website

Saturday, May 9

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation.  Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite

Sunday, May 10

Drag Queen Sip and Paint Experience Washington DC will be at 4 p.m. at Town Tavern. This is a fabulous experience brought to you by Sip and Paint USA and combines the joy of painting with the lively energy of a drag queen, offering an hour and a half of fun, creativity, and entertainment. Participants paint a canvas while enjoying cocktails, all under the guidance of a glamorous drag queen host. Tickets are $47.19 and can be purchased on Eventbrite

Monday, May 11

Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).

Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary, whether you’re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that you’re not 100% cis. For more details, visit genderqueerdc.org or Facebook

Tuesday, May 12

Trans Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This event is intended to provide an emotionally and physically safe space for trans* people and those who may be questioning their gender identity/expression to join together in community and learn from one another. For more details, email [email protected]

Coming Out Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a safe space to share experiences about coming out and discuss topics as it relates to doing so — by sharing struggles and victories the group allows those newly coming out and who have been out for a while to learn from others. For more details, visit the group’s Facebook.  

Wednesday, May 13

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.

The DC Center for the LGBT Community will host “Movement for Healing” at 3 p.m. This trauma- and yoga therapy–informed class is designed to help guests gently reconnect with their body and their breath. Through mindful movement, somatic awareness, and grounding practices, guests will explore how to release tension, increase mobility, and cultivate a deeper sense of safety and ease within. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website

Thursday, May 14

Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breathwork and meditation that allows LGBTQ+ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.  

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Television

Repression, toxic masculinity fuel intense queer drama ‘Half Man’

A solidly crafted, well-acted, fascinating binge watch

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Jamie Bell and Richard Gadd in ‘Half Man.’ (Photo courtesy of BBC1/HBO Max)

In 2024, when Richard Gadd’s “Baby Reindeer” became a stock-boosting hit for Netflix, there were few Americans who knew his name.

In the UK, however, the Scottish writer/comedian/actor had already emerged as a talent to be reckoned with, blending autobiographical stand-up comedy with theater to create a reputation as an edgy and provocative creator whose shows tended to be equal parts divisive and successful. One of these, his fictionalized true-life story of being stalked and sexually harassed by a female fan, became an Olivier Award-winning hit in the London theater; that was “Baby Reindeer,” and – in the form of a seven-episode miniseries adaptation – it became the vehicle that carried him to wider fame.

Two years later, Gadd has returned with another high-profile miniseries, this time for HBO Max, and like its predecessor, it’s a story that deals with queer sexual repression, unhealthy attachments, and a central relationship that can safely be described without exaggeration as “toxic” – and it’s an even darker (and more twisted) ride that stretches across decades. 

“Half Man,” which debuted on April 23 and continues with one episode per week through May 14, is the story of two “brothers” – Niall (Jamie Bell) and Ruben (Gadd) – whose mothers (Neve McIntosh and Marianne McIvor) have become a lesbian couple after leaving their relationships with the boys’ respective fathers. They are seeming opposites in personality; Niall is quiet, sensitive, and secretly unsure about his sexuality, while Ruben is tough, rebellious, and prone to violence – and unsurprisingly, it’s a match made in hell.

We meet them at the top of the first episode as adults, on the day of Niall’s wedding, when Ruben shows up without warning; his appearance triggers what looks like fear in his “brother from another lover,” and a private meeting between them in a barn at the wedding site turns ugly, launching a flashback format that takes us back to their schooldays, when young Ruben (Stuart Campbell) – already in trouble with the law and trying for a new start – comes home from juvenile detention to become roommate, protector, and bully to young Niall (Mitchell Robertson), all in one.

It’s the dawn of a new and epic relationship, despite a history that has made Niall terrified of the older boy; their seemingly opposite qualities somehow mesh into a kind of symbiotic bubble, in which a tense equilibrium turns them into unlikely allies. Ruben makes sure Niall has nothing to fear from the sniggering schoolyard homophobes who target him, and Niall helps Ruben pass the tests he needs to pass in order to stay in school, Nevertheless, their dynamic is equal parts surprisingly tender and alarmingly lopsided. Though they form a bond, it’s a volatile one, and by the end of episode one – after an uncomfortable-to-watch late night incident that amounts to a sexual assault – there is little doubt that Ruben is a psychopath. By then, however, it’s too late; Niall has become hopelessly ensnared by his manipulations, and their dangerous attachment has taken permanent root.

In episode two, the timeline moves the past forward several years (while rolling the wedding-day story back a few hours as well), bringing Niall forward to his college years. Ruben is once again absent from his life, but the bond is still deep. He struggles to make connections in his new setting – including with another student, the openly gay Alby (Bilal Hasna), who recognizes a side of him that he has still yet to accept for himself. Though he gradually begins to adapt to his new social circle, his insecurities get the better of him – and despite warnings from his mother not to do so, he calls Ruben to come and visit. His arrival triggers another escalating series of incidents, this time entangling Niall’s new friends and culminating in a shocking, jealous-fueled explosion of violence.

Without going on with the story – after all, the two remaining episodes have yet to be released, so we wouldn’t want to spoil anything – it’s safe to say there’s a pattern here, and it’s intentional.

Gadd has already been public about his own struggles with repression, which were directly explored (albeit fictionally) in “Baby Reindeer,” and it’s clear that he had more to say about the effects they had on his life and identity.

As he put it himself, in an interview with the Hollywood Reporter, “Themes of, I guess, masculinity, or what it means to be a man, or ‘I’ve gone through a masculinity crisis’ come into [the show] probably because I’ve been through that in my life, and I feel I can write to it and speak to it.

“I always think that the best kind of art is kept close to your chest, kept close to your heart, kept close to your experiences, and I guess with ‘Half Man,’ there’s a lot in it that I relate to. It’s not an autobiographical piece by any stretch, it’s purely fiction, but it certainly borrows from themes and struggles and issues that I understand.”

That understanding translates to the series through its focus on tracing the roots of Niall and Ruben’s relationship by methodically tracking the cause-and-effect chain that links the major events of their lives together. It explores the contradictory combination of worship and terror, the transgressive eroticism that intertwines danger and desire, the power of the forbidden to make us want it more, and the self-loathing that punishes itself through violence toward others. The inverted framework of the storytelling, which works both forward and back to meet at (we assume) some definitive point, makes following it a bit like putting together a puzzle, which also has the effect of building suspense as we wait to see the “moment of truth.”

Of course, those who prefer a more straightforward narrative might not appreciate the additional challenge, especially when the subject matter – which revolves around experiences, feelings, and behavior that might be entirely unfamiliar to many audiences – is challenging enough by itself, in its own way. Likewise, and for much the same reason, there will be viewers who are unable to relate to its characters, as some of the show’s less-favorable reviews have pointed out.

But it would be naive to assume that the themes in “Half Man” – of fragile masculinity, internalized homophobia, misdirected rage, nihilistic rebellion, conflicted desires, projected shame, and the other ingredients that infuse this shadow-boxing psychodrama with such a distinctive musky odor – do not apply to more men in today’s culture of incels, “looksmaxxers,” and “the Man-o-sphere” than any of them would like to admit. We’d wager that its portrait of a same-sex, sub/Dom, borderline incestuous relationship might resonate more urgently there than within a queer community that has been grappling with those issues for generations already and are just waiting for everybody else to catch up.

In any case, Gadd’s newest variation on a theme is a solidly crafted, well-acted, and hypnotically fascinating (if sometimes uncomfortable) exercise in the kind of “can’t look away” drama that makes for a perfect binge watch. Or, at least, it will once all the episodes drop.

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