Arts & Entertainment
Transitions in parenting
New memoir tells of marriage and family that survived
‘Stuck in the Middle with You’
By Jennifer Finney Boylan
Crown
$24
288 pages
(Image courtesy of Crown)
When you were younger, you wanted nothing to do with parenthood.
Life was a party then and having a family was the farthest thing from your mind. Kids changed people and who wants that? Being a parent was something that happened to somebody else.
Once upon a time, Jennifer Finney Boylan thought that, too. But then she became a father. And then she became a woman and in her new memoir “Stuck in the Middle with You,” she writes about finding love, discovering life’s sweet spot and being both a mommy and a daddy.
Well over 25 years ago, James Boylan fell in love at first sight.
He remembered seeing Deirdre’s blue eyes from the audience as she performed onstage. He knew he had to ask her out, that he wanted to be her boyfriend. After she finally said yes to a date, it wasn’t long before she said yes to marriage and yes to a family. They welcomed son Zach first and Sean a few years later.
And then James Boylan told his wife something that he’d been struggling with for his entire life: deep inside, he was really a woman. He could no longer tolerate life in hiding. After six years of being a father, James needed to live as Jennifer.
So how does a woman teach her son about being a man? Would the boys be teased, ostracized or ashamed? Would they feel as though they lost a parent?
“What kind of men would my children become,” Boylan writes. “… having been raised by a father who became a woman?”
As it turns out, Boylan shouldn’t have worried. Her eldest became an activist and works for justice. Her youngest is a fine musician. Their lives weren’t much different from that of their friends, and everyone generally “forgot that there was anything extraordinary about our family.”
Today, Boylan is still married to her wife of a quarter-century. It’s as “nontraditional” a union as you can imagine but then again, “traditional” families are no longer the norm anyhow. And besides, says Deirdre, “No matter what else you say about my husband, she’s an amazing woman.”
And though parenting memoirs replicate like rabbits these days, “Stuck in the Middle with You” is a pretty amazing book.
With her slightly askew humor and a grateful sense of awe for her family’s relative ease in her transition, author Jennifer Finney Boylan writes from the heart on the subjects of being father and mother, son and daughter. Those four roles were obviously played out by the same person, but it’s interesting to note how Boylan sees herself differently (and similarly) in each of them, pre- and post-transition. I also enjoyed her observations on connections between past and present, which nicely accompany interviews with friends and colleagues about family, children and being a child.
Readers looking for scandal won’t find it here, but if you want something that’ll bring you to the brink of tears again and again, this is your book.
Photos
Center for Black Equity honors leaders, activists at BE. Gala
Miyake-Mugler, Oakes co-host annual awards ceremony
The Center for Black Equity held its annual BE. Gala at Conrad Washington, D.C. on Saturday, Oct. 5. Lolita Leopard Miyake-Mugler and Anthony Oakes co-hosted the awards ceremony.
Honorees included journalist and producer Justin Stewart; nonprofit leader Nikki Alexander; HIV advocate Marlene McNeese; the nonprofit organization FreeLux Project; actress Monroe Alise; public health advocate Tori Cooper; Manassas Park Vice Mayor Darryl G. Moore; Rev. Dr. Carmarion D. Anderson; Bishop Steven Sawyer; government relations professional Courtney Snowden; Senior Deputy Director of HAHSTA at D.C. Health, Clover Barnes; and Texas state Rep. Venton C. Jones.
The event was sponsored by Gilead.
(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)
Books
In ‘The Lost Brontë,’ a complicated lie can lead to danger
New book features sweetly romantic girl-meets-girl twist
‘The Lost Brontë’
By Catherine Friend
c.2026, Bywater Books
$22.95/335 pages
Mom always said to tell the truth.
One lie leads to another and another and you have to remember them all until pretty soon, you’re caught. Fibs are hard, mistruths are messy, even little white social lies can destroy trust. Worst of all, as in the new novel, “The Lost Brontë” by Catherine Friend, a complicated lie can lead to danger.
Though Lilianne Loxley was very young when she lost her parents, she understood that her uncle didn’t really want her. As time passed, though, Lily made herself useful to Uncle, writing and signing letters for him and she became a good companion, helping him with his collection of Brontë memorabilia. Uncle was a keen enthusiast.
She had no idea that his obsession was out of control and he was deeply in arrears. The day Lily learned of his debt was the day she learned that he’d agreed to send her to his debtor’s home to work off the money owed.
It was so sudden. One minute, Lily was at Loxley House, happy and loved by Uncle’s staff … and five hours later, she was at Crag Thorn Manor, home of Lord Bexton, who informed her that she’d be working on his ledgers – work that seemed routine, but Lily tackled it.
Uncle always did say she was headstrong.
But would headstrong be enough to survive, when she was restricted from most of the Manor, when she was forced to dine with Brexton and his slimy friend, or – the worst! – when Brexton told Lily that her next task was to forge a letter from Emily Brontë? And then an entire manuscript?
Lily struggled to do what was right. She had to get Uncle out of debt but this last order horrified her. Did she dare refuse Brexton’s orders and commit a crime? It was unthinkable!
The only brightness in the whole situation was Wren, the ladies’ maid assigned to Lily’s room. Wren was adorable with freckles and the sweetest smile. But with everything else happening at Crag Thorn Manner, could Lily act upon her feelings?
This time of year, you may come to crave dark, spooky stories, and “The Last Brontë” fits those needs perfectly with its Gothic deliciousness. Think: Daphne du Maurier-type, stormy-night squirms with a dangerously chaste, sweetly romantic girl-meets-girl twist for fun.
If it’s been awhile since you’ve read a Gothic novel, you’re in for a nice reminder of why you love them here. You can almost tick off the must-haves: a novel like this is nothing without a foreboding stone manor with damp walls; stone steps to a dank basement; a mysterious portrait; and a nearby bog, and author Catherine Friend gives readers every one of them. You’d be disappointed if there was no ghost, wouldn’t you? Ha. You can practically feel the cold blow through the attic, right? Yeah, it’s that kind of book.
If you’re a fan of the Brontës, you’ll like this novel. If you love Gothic mysteries or Victorian romances, ditto. “The Lost Brontë” is good, no lie.
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Out & About
CAMP Rehoboth Block Party returns Oct. 18
Expect performances, vendors and more at annual celebration
CAMP Rehoboth will host its annual Block Party celebration on Sunday, Oct.18 at 11 a.m. on the second block of Baltimore Avenue in downtown Rehoboth Beach.
CAMP Rehoboth invites all community members to join in the festivities and to expect magnificent performances and dozens of vendors, including artists, craftspeople, non-profits, businesses, and more.
The event started in 2015 in celebration of CAMP Rehoboth’s 25th anniversary. This year, attendees can expect to shop sea glass art, pottery, jewelry, Pride merch, body care, clothing, and learn more about local non-profit causes and businesses.
Attendance is free. For more details, visit CAMP Rehoboth’s website.
Center for Black Equity honors leaders, activists at BE. Gala
In ‘The Lost Brontë,’ a complicated lie can lead to danger
CAMP Rehoboth Block Party returns Oct. 18
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