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Two couples find unexpected interest in their YouTube adventures

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R.J. Aguiar, Will Shepherd, vlog, YouTube, gay news, Washington Blade
R.J. Aguiar, Will Shepherd, vlog, YouTube, gay news, Washington Blade

R.J. Aguiar, left, and Will Shepherd, a gay vlogging couple. (Photo courtesy Shepherd)

In a world of stereotypes, two couples want to show gay relationships are normal by putting their own on YouTube for the world to see.

Will Shepherd, 24, and R.J. Aguiar, 25, have been daily vlogging their relationship on their YouTube channel “shep689” since January 2012. It started as a month-long experiment to video every day of their lives together. Since then, their channel has expanded to more than 100,000 subscribers and almost two years worth of daily videos.

“Daily vlogging happened by accident,” Aguiar says. “We decided to try it for a month and thought it would fail completely, but instead it took off. We tried it for another month and it took off even more than the first.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KY2_Q097Yis

Shepherd started the channel as a hobby to respond to funny videos his friend posted. It grew into posting self-help advice and book reviews and eventually included “day in the life” videos after he met Aguiar. Occasionally the two would record themselves on vacation and at the request of subscribers, they decided to try vlogging every day. From there, the channel’s focus became Shepherd and Aguiar’s everyday lives together.

“I wanted to portray gay life as it should be,” Shepherd says. “We wanted to show that there are very little differences between the daily life of a heterosexual couple and a homosexual couple.”

Shepherd, who works in advertising, and Aguiar, who works in marketing, have documented large parts of their lives like their move from their home state of Florida to Los Angeles and getting a dog. They’ve also recorded little moments such as going to Chipotle, being stuck in traffic and getting locked out of the house. Their channel led to the launch of their website, notadamandsteve.com, a mix of everything from advice and reviews to recipes and personal stories.

Kaelyn Petras, 25, and Lucy Sutcliffe, 21, started their YouTube channel “Kaelyn and Lucy” to stay connected in their long-distance relationship, which began online. Sutcliffe had been following Petras’s Taylor Swift Tumblr and saw that Petras posted she was ready to come out to her family.

Lucy Sutcliffe, left, and Kaelyn Petras vlogged their long-distance relationship. (Photo courtesy Sutcliffe)

Lucy Sutcliffe, left, and Kaelyn Petras vlogged their long-distance relationship. (Photo courtesy Sutcliffe)

“I’d spent the springtime obsessively watching all six seasons of ‘The L Word’ and had sort of just begun accepting myself as a gay woman,” Sutcliffe says. “So I decided to send Kaelyn a quick email, just letting her know that she wasn’t alone and that I was here if she ever wanted to talk. A few hours later she responded and we just haven’t stopped talking.”

Sutcliffe, who resides in England, had planned a road trip in the United States and decided to fly to visit Petras, who was in veterinary school in Saint Kitts (an island in the West Indies), at the end of her trip. Sutcliffe, a student filmmaker, filmed the trip and uploaded it to YouTube, mainly as a memento for the couple. Instead, it gained unexpected popularity.

“A few months passed and then literally overnight the video had gained several thousand views,” Sutcliffe says. “People had started commenting, ‘This video saved my life,’ ‘You girls have showed me that I don’t have to be ashamed of my sexuality,’ and ‘Our daughter has just come out to us and we didn’t know how to react. We’ve just stumbled upon your video and you’ve showed us that our daughter needs nothing from us but support and acceptance.’”

Now, their channel has reached more than 100,000 subscribers. They record videos of their visits together both in England and the United States and have expanded into separate vlog posts of their lives when they’re apart. They film themselves watching television shows on their laptops and going to get sushi while also filming the emotional turmoil they face when they have to leave each other. They’re the sort of situations any couple can relate to.

“The main goal of the channel is to normalize lesbian/gay relationships and that it’s OK to embrace who you are and be proud of it,” Sutcliffe says.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZUYJvCySik

Exposing your life to thousands of people does have its downside. Shepherd and Sutcliffe, who edit their videos, both are careful not to reveal too much personal information. However, Shepherd says some viewers have been able to piece together where he and Aguiar live and have spread the information on the Internet. Sutcliffe admits that it can also be difficult for people to comment and question her and Petras’ relationship.

Yet both couples plan to continue sharing their lives on YouTube.

Shepherd and Aguiar recently got engaged; both of their proposal videos to each other are on their channel. They expect to continue vlogging at least until their wedding set for 2015. They want to let subscribers share in that day as well with plans to have it professionally filmed or vlogged by friends.

“Since we embarked on this as an experiment, it’s kind of difficult to know how it’s going to end,” Aguiar says. “It has to be organic the same way that it started.”

Petras and Sutcliffe plan to move in together this summer. They still want to continue making videos even though they recognize their videos will change as their long distance situation changes. They hope to continue to show a gay relationship is like any other relationship.

“Nothing we do or say is scripted or fake. It’s just us being our normal, sometimes boring, selves,” Sutcliffe says. “We love having people countdown with us, cheer us on when we’re together and cry with us when we leave. It sounds cheesy, but it’s like having loads and loads of supportive friends, really.”

Helping young people struggling with coming out who are searching for solace on YouTube is something Shepard and Aguiar hope they can ultimately accomplish.

“When I was coming out,” Shepherd says, “I thought I had to change who I was and be a magical quip machine or a ‘Queer as Folk’-type gay. The point of our videos is to show that you don’t have to change who you are.”

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Silky Nutmeg Ganache (Photo courtesy of Silky Nutmeg Ganache)

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By SPENCER MACNAUGHTON, ISABEL STOKES, and BELLA SAYEGH | After appearing on the 11th season of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” the first season of “Canada’s Drag Race: Canada vs. the World,” the sixth season of “RuPaul’s All Stars” and now the 11th season of “All Stars,” Silky Nutmeg Ganache, known by many as the Reverend, is undoubtedly a legend.

Born and raised in Moss Point, Miss., Ganache bears all in this episode of “UNCLOSETED with Spencer Macnaughton.” She speaks about her relationship with gender, her 100-pound weight loss, what it’s like living as a queer person of color in a red state and why she’s calling on allies to stand up for the trans community.

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Theater

‘My Favorite Sociopath’ debuts at Shepherdstown’s CATF

Gay playwright Aurin Squire’s take on D.C. journalism in the ‘90s

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Playwright Aurin Squire. (Photo by Yilong Liu)

‘My Favorite Sociopath’
Contemporary American Theater Festival
July 10-Aug. 2
Shepherdstown, W.Va.
Catf.org

Discernment. It’s a thing some people have, explains playwright Aurin Squire, especially when you’re gay or Black in America (Squire is both).

“You instinctively know when the mob is teaming up for the best interests of the powers that be. You can feel it in the air.”

In his sharp new satire “My Favorite Sociopath,” Squire writes about life experiences but set in a different time and place: It’s the 1990s, early days of the 24-hour news cycle, and three ambitious journalism students are pursuing success in D.C.

And now, Squire’s play, along with other new works, are making their world premieres at the annual Contemporary American Theater Festival (CATF) at Shepherd University in historic, queer-friendly Shepherdstown, W.Va. (just a 90-minute drive from D.C.).

“All of my plays are queer in some way,” says Squire, 46. “This one touches on harmless and dangerous lies. The characters are on the spectrum sexually, and it’s interesting how all that falls out.”

And he’s given it a lot of thought. 

“Already as a kid, it seemed to me that the rage against rap music and sex was coming from closeted people resisting their own urges and temptations. For me, it was interesting to see a witch hunt led by witches. Queer people can always call out a lie.”

Since September, Squire has also been working with a TV show about the tech industry set in Silicon Valley. He says, “It seems the general flow of the tech industry is that humanity and civilization is finished and it’s just about accumulating as many goods as possible before everything collapses. In fact, those who are profiting actually agree. But for those who disagree, they believe the solution is to build bigger gates, but activists believe we can stop this” 

Yet, he’s learned from folks associated with the show. “Many say the quickest way to divorce yourself from any responsibility or regulations — smash and grab. Otherwise, you have to stop and think and regulate your desires for greed and power”

Squire possesses a penchant for pithy titles. He laughs, explaining the first thing he wrote as a student at Juilliard was “Obama-ology,” the comedy with contemporary message. While a lot of people liked the name, it didn’t necessarily vibe with the author. He concedes that he chooses names based on “easy to remember” and titles that won’t be easy to lose as a file. 

Another is “Defacing Michael Jackson,” a coming-of-age dramedy set in rural Florida in 1984, specifically Squire’s native town Opa-locka, Miami, a fantastical place famed for its fanciful Moorish revival architecture.

Living in the shadow of exotic structures, he wasn’t particularly fazed. Squire says “It wasn’t until returning to visit after my freshman year at Northwestern University in Chicago that I realized how weird it was: When you grow up in a place, you take surroundings for granted no matter how over the top.”  

Now based in New York (where for two happy years, 2017-2019, he shared digs with drag king Murry Hill), Squire returns frequently to Miami to be with family, but this summer has been filled with both work and travel.

Currently, he’s in Shepherdstown with CATF shaping up “My Favorite Sociopath.” Later this summer he will travel to South Africa for research, followed by a silent writing retreat in Santa Fe, N.M. 

Much of Squire’s work reflects the Latino, African, Caribbean, African-American, and Jewish cultures he grew up around in South Florida.

When asked if today’s winds of anti-multiculturalism worry him, he replies, “No, because that’s going to pass. Most people don’t like, people are seeing the negative results of it, and the young people coming up despise it. White male gamers were tricked momentarily through the algorithms into voting against their own interests and they’re now seeing how it’s not working out for them. 

“Conservatives always try to stop progress and eventually they always lose. It’s just a question of where we’ll be in the middle of the end of civilization before that happens. I’d like to hope we can turn the ship around before then.” 

In addition to “My Favorite Sociopath,” CATF summer season features three other world premieres (Lisa D’Amour’s comedy “The Smoker,” “Refugee Rhapsody” by Yussef El Guindi, “Best Line Wins: A Play Inspired by the Improvised Lives of Elaine May & Mike Nichols” by Beth Kander) and “¡VOS!” by Christina Pumariega.

CATF runs from July 10-Aug. 2 in three venues on the Shepherd University campus: Frank Center, Marinoff Theater, and Studio 112.

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