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Former Obama admin. appointee releases ‘SELF-ish’ memoir

Trans activist Chloe Schwenke shares life story of balancing academia and family

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Chloe Schwenke, gay news, Washington Blade

Chloe Schwenke says coming out wreaked havoc on her professional career. Despite a stellar resume and Ph.D. she was repeatedly fired. (Photo by Carl Cox Photography; courtesy Schwenke)

About a decade ago when Chloe Schwenke and her then-wife Christine Lucas were ready to share the news with their two children (then 8 and 13) that their dad was going to start living as a woman, Schwenke knew she needed to get out in front with some damage control.

Schwenke and her wife met with 12 different couples whose kids were friends with theirs.

“We knew the first time the kids saw me as Chloe, they would go screaming back home to their parents,” Schwenke says. “The experts told us everything depends on how those parents react. Once the parents were on board with it, the kids came through just fine.”

It’s one of many stories relayed in “SELF-ish: a Transgender Awakening,” Schwenke’s new memoir. It’s out today as a trade paperback from Red Hen Press, a California-based publisher.

Schwenke, who holds a Ph.D in public policy, is a former Obama administration appointee who worked for years in international development. Coming out as trans in 2008 wreaked havoc on her professional career — she recounts being fired four different times and long periods of unemployment. Schwenke, who doesn’t want to get specific but says she’s “in her 60s,” now works in the Association for Writers & Writing Programs, a literary support group at the University of Maryland, College Park.

The book didn’t start out being a book at all. Schwenke enjoys writing and blogging for relaxation and started with journaling, exploring her journey through transitioning and unpacking “why it took me 50-some years to get around to it.”

“It seemed sort of all over the place,” Schwenke, who is no longer married but still lives with Lucas in Olney, Md., says. “It had integrity, but it didn’t seem to me that these stories related to one another until suddenly they did. … I started to see it as something that cohered as a way to be myself in the world in a way I thought might be helpful to other people.”

Exploring all that took work but was an illuminating process, she says. Incidents from childhood came roaring back to her consciousness with “remarkable clarity.” She spent a year writing it, then after securing a deal with Red Hen, one of three publishers she contacted (the other two weren’t interested but Red Hen bit immediately), she spent another two years working with two editors to glean the work into something publishable. The 260-page paperback retails for $17.95 and is available at all the usual online book channels or via chloemaryland.net.

Schwenke on:

how the book evolved: “They wanted to hear more about my explorations of dating men and a bit less about my being a Quaker. … I’d had some dating experiences end really badly and though I hadn’t initially planned to include much of that, though it was in my journal, they said, ‘Just sit with that awhile,’ because they thought that would be of interest to readers.”

her concerns with going public with her life: “My real concern is whether people are gonna sue me. I’ve been fired four times just for being trans, arrested, beaten up, called every name you can think of. I did name names but just first names. I thought, ‘To hell with it, these are important interactions and people need to know how people behave toward trans people.’”

the title: “When I came out to family, some people were really angry with me. Two of my three brothers didn’t speak to me for eight years. A recurring response was, ‘How could you be so selfish?’ There was this wave of anger. … I decided to put the hyphen in and reclaim that word.”

how she feels anti-trans bias is part of broader toxic patriarchy: “I think there are lots of unreconciled feelings hetero men have about sexuality because they’ve never had to think through it or deal with it because they’ve just always been the boss, they’ve called the shots. When somebody goes in the opposite direction, it raises a lot of profound questions. They think, ‘Why would anybody want to do that,’ and they have a very deep-rooted gut reaction to the operation itself. … Every time we told other couples, the men immediately crossed their legs. They have a very strong, protective reaction.”

working with the State Department and monthly visits to the Obama White House: “Don Steinberg (former deputy administrator at the United States Agency for International Development) was a huge ally and really pushed me and the LGBT community to be verbal and outspoken though we didn’t get much support from the administration at the time, though they also didn’t stand in our way. … The White House was fantastic. They looked at us and said, “What can we do for you?” That was their mantra every month and that really started with (former deputy director of the White House Office of Public Engagement) Brian Bond.

Gens. Y and Z’s comfort with gender fluidity: “They’re asking questions and not just defaulting to the binary, which is great. They’re just really sitting with their gender identity for awhile before they declare anything and that’s such a healthy thing. My daughter is 18 and all her friends just think it’s cool.”

trans visibility in the age of Caitlyn Jenner: “She’s a really canny person. She knows how to play the media and I really admire that in these exchanges we see, she never seems to be the victim. I couldn’t disagree with her politics more, though. She’s a stalwart Republican and with a president and especially vice president as transphobic as we have now, how she reconciles that, I don’t know.”

her relationship with her ex-wife: “We are no longer married but we still share the same house and jointly raise our daughter. Christine is my best friend and strongest ally.”

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Liza’s book a tale that’s better than most celebrity memoirs

‘Kids, Wait Till You Hear This!’ dishes on marriages, heartbreak

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(Book cover image courtesy of Grand Central)

‘Kids, Wait Till You Hear This! My Memoir’
By Liza Minnelli, as told to Michael Feinstein
c.2026, Grand Central
$36/ 421 pages

Twenty feet In front of you, and you can’t see a thing.

Even the closest faces are in shadow – lit, but not quite enough for you to see for sure what the people there are thinking. Still, you can hear them, their gasps, their laughter, and applause. Such is life, on-stage. Now read “Kids, Wait Till You Hear This! My Memoir” by Liza Minnelli, as told to Michael Feinstein, and read about it beyond the spotlight.

Almost from the moment she was born, Liza Minnelli was famous.

It was inevitable: her mother was Judy Garland. Her father was director Vincente Minnelli. Her godparents were Hollywood glitterati, her neighbors were famous, her playmates would be famous someday, too.

But her life wasn’t all starlight and happiness.

She made her stage debut as a toddler. She became her “mother’s caretaker” at age 13.

At 16, she had a growing career of her own – one that her mother tried to stop. But, she says, “In her own way, Mama was wonderful to me. Try understanding – she was my mother, not a movie star…. I knew her as the person who loved me and always would.”

At 19, Minnelli was working, happy, and madly in love with the man who’d become her first husband, and life was wonderful – until she came home one day to find him in their bed with another man. Before they were divorced, she lost her beloved mother, and became “engaged” to two other men simultaneously, neither of which made it to the altar with her.

She married her second husband, the son of one of her mother’s former co-stars, in 1974 but her love affairs and addictions led to a second divorce.

Her third husband was a stage manager.

She doesn’t have much good to say about her fourth, and last, husband.

Overall, she says, “You gotta play the comedy for all it’s worth and leave ‘em laughing. Even when your heart is breaking.”

Are you expecting bluntness, sass, or attitude here? Good, because that’s what you get inside “Kids, Wait Till You Hear This!” It’s strong on honesty and don’t-give-a-flip. It’s wonderfully edited, so it moves fast. It’s eye-opening and funny and a pleasant surprise for a first, and only (so far), memoir.

Even better, author Liza Minnelli (with best friend, Michael Feinstein) is really quite candid and nicely gossipy, starting from the beginning. There are some Hollywood folks, in fact, who are feeling edgy because of what’s inside this book and the secrets spilled. Minnelli and Feinstein seemed to have fun telling her story, and they comfortably lure readers in.

That’s not to say that it’s all a cabaret. Minnelli tells about her addictions and recoveries, her marriages and why she wed two gay men, and the losses she endured, including miscarriages, deaths, and broken relationships. The bad balances well with the good for a tale that’s several notches above most celebrity memoirs. “Kids, Wait Till You Hear This!” is, in fact, a real joy to read, a genuine bright spot.

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New book reveals what we can learn from animal sex

‘Poking the Squid’ on homosexuality, gender swapping, and more

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(Book cover image courtesy W.W. Norton)

‘Poking the Squid: What We Can Learn from Animal Sex’
By Perrin Roosevelt Ireland
c.2026, W.W. Norton
$29.99 241 pages

Birds do it.

According to Cole Porter, bees do, too, but it’s not exactly what he imagined. Wild and tame, avians, insects, and mammals all have sex – although not always as you’ve been told or for reasons you might think. Even educated fleas do it and, as in the new book, “Poking the Squid” by Perrin Roosevelt Ireland, humans can learn from them all.

If you read through scientific papers on animal reproduction, you might notice something unusual: for scientists, the word “sex” means a lot of different things.

Says Ireland, “It’s used to describe behaviors, biology, life histories, and more.”

That might be because animals are not simply binary.

Take, for instance, hyenas. It’s easy for the casual observer to mistake a male hyena for a female and vice versa because of stereotypes of anatomy. Mating, for hyenas, requires subordination for the male and a nifty trick on the part of the female’s body to get things done.

Our feathered friends are no birdbrains, either: black-browed albatrosses were once thought to be monogamous but global warming seems to have changed their nesting habits sometimes. Male flamingos have sex with one another, as a territorial thing; other birds and animals form same-sex pairs for other reasons.

The Chinese mantis eats her mate after fertilization. Female snakes, alpacas, guinea pigs, and monkeys are anatomically able to enjoy sex. Genitalia between species varies quite a bit; in fact, the vaginas of ducks “are highly complex.” Lionesses will mate up to 100 times when in heat. Female damselflies will change into a “third sex” to avoid overly aggressive mating males. Bearded dragons can change their sex, if needed, as can yellow clown goby fish. And seahorse pregnancy and birth sparked a book banning in Tennessee.

So, asks Ireland, if animals, including us, vary so much in biology and life, “… why are we using the word sex like it means something, anything, consistent?!”

Pick up “Poking the Squid,” page through it a few seconds, and you’ll see that the information here is largely told through cartoon-like drawings mixed with captions. It seems to be something on the lighter side, but don’t let that artwork fool you.

Author Perrin Roosevelt Ireland offers readers solid information that cozies up to the scholarly, with hard science, philosophy, feminism, and quotations from researchers to support it, thus furthering the narrative and hitting the points squarely. If you see the art and expect something lighthearted, comic, and small-talk-worthy, you could be disappointed.

On the other hand, if you want solid, wryly serious facts, you’re in for a treat.

There’s lots of learning to be gleaned here, and some slight nudge-wink whimsy to emphasize the absurdity of wrong-headed thinking. This can make readers feel like they’re in-the-know on the jokes, and the playfulness balances the seriousness of the information well.

So, serious, scholarly, or slightly silly, none of these are negative but you’re going to know what you want from a book like this. For the right reader, someone in the mood, “Poking the Squid” is wild.

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‘Transcendent’ a tough but important read

Laverne Cox’s memoir recounts horrific abuse as a child

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(Book cover image courtesy of Gallery Books)

‘Transcendent: A Memoir’
By Laverne Cox
c.2026, Gallery Books
$30/238 pages

OK, let’s just say it: You’re tired of lies.

They come from above, behind, from either shoulder. They’re repeated, laid out in a line, told as if they’re true but they’re not. You wish people would stop lying to you. As in the new memoir “Transcendent” by Laverne Cox, you wish you could tell the truth about yourself.

Sissy.

If the bullies in the neighborhood weren’t constantly calling Laverne Cox that name, then Cox’s mother was. “Sissy,” was just one word, though; the others were worse. The boys would say those things while they beat Cox, when they could catch her. Her mother screamed at her gentle child who didn’t like “boy” activities.

Even at eight years old, says Cox, “I was a prim and proper lady.”

Despite the verbal abuse about her perceived feminine behavior and a furtive, failed attempt at conversion therapy, Cox’s mother sent her and her brother to the Alabama School of Fine Arts, where Cox learned to dance. It was a lifeline for her, and the talent gained there helped Cox get into college in Indiana.

From there, Cox expected to find fame and fortune in New York City.

And yet, the abuse she suffered as a child held Cox back, and the words “There is something wrong with me” became a daily mantra.

“I didn’t know how to say it.” Cox says. “Im a girl.

There were therapy sessions to get to that point, as Cox learned the language and skills needed to speak the truth. Landing a sense of style helped, as did her brother’s support, a handful of friends, and happy, scent-infused memories of her mother’s make-up table.

At each step, Cox says, “I was expressing myself, I was also allowing myself to edge closer to my girlhood.”

Let’s start here: “Transcendent” is a difficult read – not for style, but for substance.

From her earliest memory of being sexually abused as a toddler; to verbal and physical abuse from many sources; to what, judging by photo captions, seems perhaps like forgiveness, author Laverne Cox glosses over nothing. Be ready, in other words, for pages and pages of memories that, like a roller-coaster, will make you cringe and want to hide your eyes, although doing so would be a mistake.

As this book progresses, Cox’s story does, too. We see a child who knows a truth but has no words for it. The child becomes a teen with a bursting sense of self, then a young adult who craves love as she’s stretching her wings. By the time Cox advances to writing about her career and the abuse is (mostly) over, readers will breathe a well-deserved sigh of relief. Whew, you’ve winced through a harrowing tale to reach a satisfying but not complete update.

Fans of Cox’s work will want “Transcendent,” as will anyone who’s transitioned, is thinking about it, or loves someone who has. It’s a rough read, but a necessary one, then, and that’s no lie.

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