Opinions
Gay man details secret struggle with bulimia
February is Eating Disorder Awareness Month
I was a “chubby” kid. A “husky” kid. Horrible terms that still make me cringe. Food issues stem through the family tree. I remember hearing a family member vomit when I was in elementary school; the residual scraps left floating in the toilet. I tried sticking my finger down my throat as a teen — an easy purge after a buffet binge. “Easy” being a sick way of looking at such a violent act to oneself, but the swiftness of an occasional act turning to addiction is frighteningly simple.
I was in my early 20s when I went on another diet in a series of crash diets, but this one hit different. I barely ate and worked out intensely each day. I decided to reward myself at the end of the week with a large pizza and breadsticks. Devouring a whole pizza (and more) was not new to me. I could down an alarming amount of food and hit the pillow in a haze. I didn’t know about nutrition, calories, or balance for many years to come. The meal went down the toilet, and I resumed my starvation diet. The calorie deficit pushed me closer to addiction’s ledge, and the hunger sent me over.
The sporadic binge turned to several a week — running to the local country store for a smattering of chips, candy, soda, honey buns, cookies, anything to fill me up. Soon, it was a regular appointment, arranging a home buffet to mindlessly stuff my body for hours ‘til I knelt over the ceramic bowl.
The binge-n-purge cycle turned twice daily. If I couldn’t binge at home in private, I would gorge at buffets or in my car — throwing up in restaurants, grocery stores, lobby restrooms. I lived in a house with a septic tank at the start of my illness. I clogged the tank, causing vomit to rise to the surface of the soil. Fearing further damage, I started throwing up in trash bags, collecting them in large bins, and driving them to public toilets to dispose of them. This went on for seven years, all through college, internships, and my first corporate job.
The older man I was with was losing himself at the same time, falling deeper into the abyss of severe depression he’d battled lifelong. We saw the best in each other at the start, and the worst by the demise. His bouts of darkness were beyond my repair, no matter how hard I tried to tackle the impossible fix. How is a 21-year-old supposed to convince a 46-year-old to seek treatment, talk him down from suicidal tendencies, get him to understand people love him? I couldn’t navigate it, and food seemed to be the one thing in my control.
It also became my reward and my excuse to treat myself in the face of any stress or accomplishment. He wants to kill himself: binge. I aced a test: binge. Work was rough: binge. Food was all I lived for. Friends, family, love all took a backseat. I was ruled by a hidden hunger I kept secret from nearly everyone, though my emaciated frame didn’t go unnoticed.
I was productive through the battle, working full time, graduating college summa cum laude, landing a solid job and moving up the ladder. All common addict attributes. Bulimia consumed me ‘til I was nearly 30 — four years after splitting from my first love, two years after he killed himself, and three years into a relationship with the man who would become my husband, and later my ex-husband.
They say the difference between privacy and secrecy is that privacy is about respect, whereas secrecy has shame attached. So, let’s drop the shame and the secrets held far too long. It’s been 12 years since I spent my days, nights, and thousands of dollars gorging and purging for hours. Twelve years since I was face down in a toilet at my own will.
I was a TV producer for a decade, booking more than 15,000 segments through the years. I often received pitches for February’s Eating Disorder Awareness Month and made a point to share these stories every year. Still, every pitch and every spokesperson I booked was with a woman. The stigma surrounding body dysmorphia in men continues despite men representing up to 25 percent of people with eating disorders, with members of the LGBTQ+ community at a higher risk, according to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders. Men are also more likely to not recognize a problem, and their cases tend to be more severe by the time they see a doctor.
Living in secret and hiding is not living. It’s shame-based and the ultimate red flag that something needs to change. It will haunt you ‘til you are unrecognizable to yourself and everyone around you. You don’t need to share your story with the world, but opening up to someone is a crucial step in recovery and healing. Living in lies and maintaining deception is the heaviest of burdens
Addiction is blinding. You are unable to see the joys, the freedoms, and opportunities awaiting when you’re solely focused on soothing your addiction’s rage. Living for the fix pushes every other interest out of focus. When you start to release the devil on your back, you make room for wings to spread and space to fly into passions suffocated far too long.
It’s taken a lot of work, therapy, reflection and learning. Not to say I’m recovered, not to say I’m healed. I’ll forever have this devil on my back. It’s about learning to quiet his rage, soothe his anxiety, and ensure his safety and love. It’s a lifelong path of healing more with each day, each year.
And there is always hope. Even in the deepest depths of despair and isolation and ‘I’ll-never-get-better-ness.’ Whatever your circumstances, those tinges of hope are worth clinging to. They’ll carry you through.
I don’t know where I’ll be next year, let alone a future once so clear. And I’m okay. You’re okay. The other side isn’t perfect. Nothing is. But what a gift to make it there and experience life unshackled from your ghost.
There’s so much to see.
Kyle Ridley is an Emmy Award winning journalist with more than two decades in print and television.
Commentary
Is Ghana’s selective justice a human rights contradiction?
Country’s commitment to human rights appears inconsistent
Ghana’s mission to have the United Nations recognize the trafficking of enslaved Africans and racialized chattel enslavement as the gravest crime against humanity is a historic milestone. The resolution adopted on March 25, 2026, with 123 out of about 180 countries in support, marks a major step toward global acknowledgement of the brutality and inhumanity of slavery. A 2022 report by the Equal Justice Initiative, “The Transatlantic Slave Trade,” highlights how during the slave trade, Africans who were enslaved had no rights, freedom, recognition or protection under the law. They had no voice, no bodily autonomy, no respected identity and could be brutally violated with no legal protection. This history represents a grave crime against humanity.
In my opinion, Ghana and the other countries that voted in favor are entirely right to say that such historic events cannot be sanitized or reduced to diplomatic language. Recognition is the first step towards accountability. This matter is important because it is arguably the foundation of the modern-day injustice and inequality people experience, including wealth inequality, racism, sexism, xenophobia, and queerphobia.
The double standard
Yet, despite this important step on the world stage, Ghana’s commitment to human rights appears inconsistent. The same government advocating for justice for enslaved Africans is enacting laws that jeopardies the rights of Africans today. This contradiction between Ghana’s international stance and its domestic policies is at the heart of the discussion.
In February 2026, the Ghanaian parliament formally received the Human Sexual Rights and Family Values Bill. The bill is a grave threat to the rights to nondiscrimination, protection under the law, privacy and freedom of association, assembly, and expression. It expands criminalization of LGBTQ+ people, and anyone associated with them. This Human Sexual Rights and Family Values Bill calls for a three-year imprisonment for anyone who identifies as LGBTQ+, anyone who has gender affirming treatment, anyone who enters into a same-sex marriage or attends a same-sex wedding and anyone who promotes equal rights for LGBTQ+ people. It turns enforcement into a societal obligation rather than just a state function, encouraging people to report anyone who looks suspicious or different. This further legitimizes the brutal attacks on LGBTQ+ people socially, which leaves the people of Ghana with blood on their hands.
Ghana’s proposed and reintroduced anti-LGBTQ+ legislation is said to be among the most restrictive in the world and will result in the inhumane treatment of LGBTQ+ people. It not only further criminalizes consensual same-sex relations but also targets civil society organizations that are perceived to be supporting equal rights for LGBTQ+ people. So, if this law passes, it will be illegal to support equal rights and challenge the inhuman treatment of queer Ghanaians and allies. Is this not a double standard? Ghana seeks justice for the ill-treatment of Africans during the transatlantic slave trade but is actively in the process of seeking to harm its own people.
This is not theoretical harm; it is practical harm. According to the Human Rights Watch, LGBTQ+ people in Ghana already face systemic stigma, discrimination, harassment and violence, often enabled by both legal frameworks and social stigma, resulting in a hostile climate.
Ghana falls short of upholding human rights at home
On the global stage, Ghana is arguing that the dehumanization of Africans through slavery was so severe that it constitutes the gravest possible violation of human dignity. This argument rests on a core principle that reducing people to less than fully human is unacceptable under any circumstances.
Back at home, the state is endorsing laws that do exactly that to LGBTQ+ people. Criminalizing identity, suppressing expression, clamping down on civic space, monitoring and surveilling citizens and advocating for social exclusion. These are elements of dehumanization signaling that some are less deserving of protection, dignity, respect, and justice. That is the definition of a double standard.
Supporters of these laws often frame homosexuality as un-African, but this claim does not hold up under scrutiny. In his article, “The ‘Deviant’ African Genders That Colonialism Condemned”, Mohammed Elnaiem emphasizes that historical and anthropological evidence shows that diverse sexualities and gender expressions existed across African societies long before colonial rule. Ironically, many of the laws used to criminalize LGBTQ+ people today trace directly back to the colonial-era. This is even supported by the African Court, which, in December 2020, through its Advisory opinion, made it clear that these colonial-era laws are discriminatory and perpetuated marginalization. The African Court also called on African states to take action in this regard.
It is no secret that anti-rights actors are actively operating in Ghana and supporting leaders to advance their anti-rights agenda. They are increasingly organized, visible, well-funded, and influential in shaping state policy. The upcoming 4th African Inter-Parliamentary Conference on Family and Sovereignty, scheduled to take place in Accra from May 27-30, 2026, is a clear example of this coordination. The conference endorses the so-called African Charter on Family Values, a deeply contested initiative that frames LGBTQ+ people as a threat to children and positions queer identities as foreign ideologies. This platform is being used to legitimize and advance anti-LGBTIQ+ legislation, restrict comprehensive sexuality education and roll back sexual and reproductive health rights. In this context, the treatment of LGBTQ+ people in Ghana cannot be viewed as isolated policy choices, but rather as part of a broader coordinated anti-rights agenda that normalizes and legalizes discrimination. It fuels increasingly inhumane conditions for queer communities and civil society. Ghana is simultaneously rejecting colonial injustice in one breath while enforcing colonial-era morality laws in another.
There is also a legal inconsistency worth noting. Ghana’s own Constitution guarantees the right to life, protection from violence, the right to personal liberty, the right to human dignity, equality and freedom from discrimination and the right to a fair trial. Yet, in practice these rights are not equally applied to LGBTQ+ individuals. Depriving equal rights to LGBTQ+ persons is the same as what the slave owners did to slaves.
You cannot build a credible human rights position on selective application
To be clear, recognizing slavery as a crime against humanity is not diminished by pointing out this contradiction. Both truths can coexist: the UN resolution is a victory and Ghana’s domestic policies remain deeply troubling. In fact, holding both realities together is necessary if the language of human rights is to mean anything at all. Ghana has taken a powerful stand on the global stage. The question now is whether it is willing to apply that same moral clarity at home.
Bradley Fortuin is a consultant at the Southern Africa Litigation Center and a human rights activist.
Commentary
The cost of speaking one’s mind
Colombian artist José Miel’s recent comments on Pride, LGBTQ community sparked controversy
Colombian artist José Medina, known professionally as José Miel, 34, originally from Bogotá, is going through one of the most complex moments of his public career. Following his exit from “La casa de los famosos Colombia,” his name has been placed at the center of a controversy that has gone beyond the realm of entertainment and into a broader terrain: the debate over freedom of expression, diversity, and the limits of dissent within a society that defines itself as inclusive.
Miel is not an improvised figure. His trajectory in music, acting, and television reflects a sustained process of training, work, and exposure across different platforms. He participated in “Yo me llamo” (2019) and “La Descarga” (2022), establishing himself as a versatile artist within the Colombian entertainment industry. His career has been built through effort, in an industry that does not guarantee permanence without discipline.
However, the recent focus is not on his artistic work, but on his statements.
On March 15, the program “La Red” on Caracol Televisión released an interview on its digital platforms in which the singer spoke openly about the difficult moment he is facing, stating that his words — referring to comments he made after leaving “La casa de los famosos” — “cost him dearly.” His opinions on Pride, inclusive language, and the LGBTQ acronym triggered an immediate and polarized reaction.
From that moment on, the debate moved beyond the content of his words and opened another angle that cannot be overlooked.
Miel is known for the precision, firmness, and clarity with which he expresses his ideas. He is not an improvised artist, neither in discourse nor on stage. However, amid this controversy, a question also arises — one that deserves consideration from a journalistic standpoint:
What was the intention of the journalist, commentator, or media outlet that posed the questions leading to these statements?
This is not about shifting responsibility for what was said, but about understanding the context in which it occurred. At a moment in his career marked by multiple opportunities and projects, Miel’s responses placed him at the center of a controversy with real consequences.
In that sense, it is worth asking whether these were genuine questions within an open dialogue, or whether they followed a more provocative line, aimed at generating headlines or exposing the interviewee in a sensitive terrain.
This is not a minor question.
In media environments where every word can be amplified, the role of the one asking the questions is also part of how the story is constructed.
Within this context, this outlet held a phone conversation with the artist this Wednesday in order to gather his position directly. What follows are his responses to three central themes: the consequences of his words, his identity, and his call for respect.
Regarding the personal cost of expressing his opinion, Miel was clear:
You are now paying a high price for speaking your mind.
Do you regret having spoken out, or do you still believe your voice is non-negotiable?
Response:
“I believe that as human beings we all know that giving an opinion on any topic will bring problems. That’s the problem with society: it doesn’t respect other people’s opinions, because many think they are always right, and that’s not the case. Everyone has their reasons, everyone has their opinions, and those must be respected — even if you disagree.
What I expressed was an opinion without discrimination, without harming anyone, without stepping on anyone. And yet the opposite has been done to me: I’ve been trampled on, harmed, threatened, sent very ugly messages, harassed, hate coming from everywhere.
I knew what I was getting into. I knew what could happen. But I am proud of myself. I am proud of my conviction, and I will defend it until the end, because I truly believe in what I said. I do not regret it.”
When addressing his stance on labels, Pride, and how he defines himself, the artist stated:
You say you don’t identify with certain expressions of Pride or with the acronym.
So how do you define who you are, without labels or molds?
Response:
“Well, I don’t identify with Pride marches because they don’t represent me at all. They would represent me if they were respectful and appropriate, because many families attend — children, grandparents, parents … everyone is there.
And it’s quite disrespectful to see many people — not all, I emphasize — exposing their bodies, wearing very little clothing, drinking alcohol, intoxicated, using drugs. I don’t think that’s the way I would seek respect and equality.
I don’t like the term LGBTIQ+ community or all the letters that keep being added, because I feel that these acronyms make people discriminate more. I understand why they exist, because I know that what is not named does not exist, but I feel it is not the right way.
To me, everyone is part of society. We are human beings.
I don’t have labels or molds. I am a man, I am homosexual, and that’s it. The fact that I wear makeup or more feminine clothing is part of my artistic work, part of the stage. My everyday life is completely different.”
Finally, when referring to the reactions he has received, Miel insisted on a point that runs throughout his position:
You speak about respect, yet you’ve received attacks even from within the same community. What do you say today to those who call for inclusion but do not respect when someone thinks differently?
Response:
“I realized that the same community discriminates against itself. Many gay people have written to support me, telling me how brave I am, that they think the same way but don’t dare to speak.
To those who disagree with my opinion, I say: respect it, even if you don’t like it. You can express your opinion because we live in a free country, but do it with arguments, from your perspective, without stepping on others.
Because that is not the way.
I understand the struggles, I understand what is being sought, but I feel that if other ways of fighting were heard, many things could be achieved through respect and equality.
Everyone is free to think and say what they want — but always with respect. It’s that simple.”
Beyond his statements, what the artist is currently facing was also exposed in the March 15 interview on “La Red.” In that space, Miel described in his own words what he called a “string of problems”: constant harassment on social media, direct threats, hate messages, canceled performances, loss of contracts, and stalled projects due to external pressure and boycott warnings.
This situation not only highlights the media impact of his words, but also the material consequences that expressing an opinion can have in today’s digital environment.
His statements also drew reactions from the political sphere. Colombian Congressman Mauricio Toro wrote on social media:
“Hate and discrimination are learned. Sometimes they are so deeply rooted that they turn against oneself. José Miel, neither you nor I have anything to hide or to be ashamed of. Being free and loving without fear is the greatest thing you can experience as a human being.”
However, this position was also criticized. A significant number of users — even those who do not agree with the artist’s statements — have insisted that his right to express his views must be respected, pointing to a growing tension between inclusive discourse and tolerance for dissent.
The case of José Miel goes beyond a media controversy. It reflects a broader reality: the difficulty of sustaining respect when opinions do not align, even within spaces that promote diversity.
In a context where social media amplifies every stance, reactions to difference become immediate and, in many cases, disproportionate.
Beyond individual positions, what happened raises a deeper question:
Is it possible to speak of inclusion if we are not capable of respecting difference?
The philosopher Voltaire left behind an idea that remains relevant:
“I disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”
That is the point.
Because if a society is not capable of upholding the right of others to express themselves — even when it is uncomfortable — then it is not building inclusion; it is merely managing agreement.
And in that scenario, the case of José Miel stops being an isolated episode.
It becomes a test.
A test of how far we are willing to go in respecting others when they do not think like us.
Support does not mean agreement.
In this case, support means something more basic and more necessary: defending the right to exist, to think, and to express oneself without being destroyed for it.
Opinions
The outrage economy is not the LGBTQ community
We can respect every person’s humanity without feeding algorithms
There is a simple truth I want to start with, because it matters and because it is too often lost in the noise.
I believe every human being deserves dignity.
I believe in individual freedom. I believe in treating people with respect. I believe adults should be able to live their lives openly, safely, and without harassment or fear.
That includes LGBTQ people. Always. But there is something else we need to say with the same moral clarity.
The outrage economy is not the LGBTQ community.
In recent months, as debates about schools, speech, and identity continue to dominate headlines, it has become increasingly clear how easily genuine conversations about dignity and freedom are drowned out by a profitable outrage cycle.
Right now, too much of what passes for “LGBTQ news” is not about people’s lives, safety, or equality. It is about engagement. It is about clicks. It is about fundraising. It is about manufacturing the next emotional flashpoint. And people are exhausted.
Most Americans are not waking up in the morning looking for a fight about language or labels. They are worried about rent. They are worried about insurance. They are worried about traffic. They are worried about whether their kids are safe and learning. They are worried about whether their paychecks still stretch to the end of the month.
The culture war is not most people’s daily life. It has become an industry.
And like any industry, it needs fuel. It needs conflict. It needs constant escalation. It needs the next headline that triggers the strongest reaction.
Social media algorithms reward exactly that. The loudest and most extreme reactions are amplified, pushing the most sensational interpretation of any story to the top of everyone’s screen. That is why we keep seeing the same pattern: ordinary human experiences are repackaged as identity controversy.
A celebrity reflects on not feeling traditionally feminine, and within hours it becomes a viral referendum on gender identity. A personal observation becomes a cultural battleground. The internet is told it must choose a side. This is not liberation. It is marketing. And it is not harmless.
Because while adults argue about language and labels online, real kids are struggling offline.
Children today are growing up in a world that is louder, faster, and more psychologically intense than any generation before them. Anxiety is rising. Depression is rising. Social isolation is rising. Bullying has migrated from the hallway to the phone, and it never stops.
Kids are being exposed to adult conversations at younger and younger ages, often without the maturity or support systems to process them. Here is the part that should concern everyone, regardless of politics. Our schools are not resourced for this reality.
We do not have enough counselors. We do not have enough psychologists. We do not have enough early childhood behavioral specialists. We do not have enough social workers. We do not have enough trained staff able to identify distress early and intervene appropriately.
Florida, like the rest of the country, faces a serious shortage of youth mental health professionals. When children struggle, too often there is simply no one available to help early.
In many communities the need is obvious and urgent. Yet the conversation we keep getting is not about expanding mental health support, strengthening early intervention, or helping families navigate difficult moments.
Instead we get a never-ending cycle of political conflict that makes everyone more anxious and less able to hear one another. Let me be clear about something. Individuality is not the problem. People are complex. People do not fit neatly into stereotypes. Many never have.
A woman who does not feel like a “girly girl” is not a threat. A man who does not relate to traditional masculinity is not a threat. People exploring their identity is not a threat.
The real problem is the commercialization of identity.
When media outlets treat every celebrity quote as a cultural emergency, they are not helping LGBTQ people. They are feeding a machine that thrives on division. And that machine does not care who gets hurt.
It hurts trans people, because it turns their lives into content and controversy instead of treating them as human beings navigating deeply personal realities.
It hurts gay people, because it reduces an entire community to a political symbol rather than recognizing the diversity of real lives and experiences.
It hurts women, because it suggests that not fitting stereotypes requires a new label, when the entire history of women’s equality has been about expanding freedom beyond those stereotypes.
It hurts families, because it creates confusion without support and noise without guidance. And it hurts the arts as well.
Drag, theater, and performance have long been places where society explores humor, character, and freedom. But when everything becomes political warfare, the public begins to associate even artistic expression with endless conflict.
People withdraw. Not because they hate anyone, but because they are exhausted by the noise. This is the great irony of our moment. A culture that claims to be expanding freedom is, in practice, shrinking it. Not through laws alone, but through fear.
Fear of saying the wrong thing. Fear of being attacked online. Fear of asking a sincere question. Fear of being dragged into a fight that never ends. We cannot build a healthy society that way. And we cannot build a healthy LGBTQ movement that way either.
The LGBTQ community did not fight for decades to replace one set of rigid boxes with another. The goal was always freedom. The goal was dignity. The goal was the right to live honestly without harassment and without the state policing private life.
If we want to protect that legacy, we need to be honest about what is happening now.
There are advocacy organizations doing important work. There are journalists covering real issues responsibly. There are educators and mental health professionals trying to help kids navigate a complicated world.
But there is also a profitable ecosystem of consultants, influencers, and outrage merchants who benefit from keeping the temperature high. They do not want resolution. They want engagement. And engagement requires conflict.
So what do we do? We return to what actually helps. We invest in mental health resources in schools. We expand early childhood support. We make sure kids who are struggling can access qualified professionals. We strengthen families and communities instead of turning them into ideological battlegrounds.
We treat adults like adults. We respect personal freedom. We stop demanding that every workplace become a permanent cultural battlefield. Professionalism is not oppression. Respect is not hate. Equal treatment is not cruelty. We also stop confusing stereotypes with identity.
Not feeling “massively feminine” is not a crisis. It is a normal human experience. It does not need to become a viral controversy. We can respect every person’s humanity without feeding the outrage economy. We can support individuality without turning every personality trait into a cultural emergency. We can defend LGBTQ dignity without empowering a machine that profits from division.
Most of all, we can choose leadership that lowers the temperature instead of exploiting the fire. Because the truth is this: the public is not as hateful as the internet suggests.
The public is tired. The public is overwhelmed. The public is struggling.
And what most people want now is a culture that feels calmer, fairer, and grounded in reality again.
That is not a threat to LGBTQ equality. It may be the only way it survives.
Fabián Basabe is a Florida State Representative.
