Local
Polyak discusses marriage referendum, future activism
Former Equality Maryland board chair spoke to the Blade less than a month after she stepped down
The former chair of Equality Marylandās Board of Directors stressed on Monday she remains optimistic that voters will uphold the stateās same-sex marriage law in November.
āThe polling trend is definitely way more positive than it has been in the last couple of years, but we continue to see evidence of people feeling strongly in another way,ā said Lisa Polyak, referring to the controversy over Chick-fil-A President Dan Cathyās comments against marriage rights for gays and lesbians. She also described Josh Levin of Marylanders for Marriage Equality as a āvery effective campaign managerā who has begun to receive the resources she said he needs to defend the same-sex marriage law at the ballot. Polyak added she feels that both President Obamaās support of nuptials for gays and lesbians and the National Association for the Advancement of Colored Peopleās resolution in support of the issue provided the campaign with additional momentum.
āIf we win in November, it will be in large measure because of those two events,ā she said. āThe campaign, rightly, is coming in under that and doing their job efficiently and well.ā
Polyak and her partner of more than 30 years, Gita Deane, have remained two of the most prominent figures in the fight for nuptials for gays and lesbians in Maryland since they became the lead plaintiffs in the same-sex marriage lawsuit that Equality Maryland and the American Civil Liberties Union filed in 2004. The Maryland Court of Appeals in 2007 ultimately upheld the constitutionality of the stateās ban on nuptials for gays and lesbians, but Polyak stressed to the Blade that she and Deane simply wanted to protect their children.
āThe reason we got involved in the first place was because weāve had all of these sorts of unexpected experiences trying to take care of our kids,ā she said, pointing to obtaining health care and passports for the coupleās two daughters and entering the country with them were among the difficulties they faced. āStarry eyed, we thought well weāll get involved with the marriage litigation because you know if we were married we wouldnāt have these problems, although of course we had no idea what was ahead.ā
Polyak said that the children of she and her wife Deane, Maya, who is 16, and Devi, who is 13, āwere fairly renascentā about their decision to challenge Marylandās same-sex marriage ban.
āFor the older one, we told her that we were going to be in the litigation and we told her why in terms that we thought were appropriate for her… [what] it boiled down to is that we wanted to be married and that we couldnāt be married right now because of the way that the law was and just that she was shocked. And she told us so,ā she recalled. āShe goes; what do you mean youāre not married? I thought you were my parents and why arenāt you married? So it began sort of not just being the public face, but also like having this conversation in an ongoing way with our kids every year of their growth about what they could understand.ā
Court of Appeals decision was āawful”
āUltimately, for me especially it was important for them to see that even when things donāt go the way you want the first time, you donāt give up,” said Polyak as she stressed the need for her and Deane to “hold ourselves together for our girls so that they didn’t think bad things were going to happen to them or to our family.”
More than four years after Marylandās highest court ruled against them in Deane and Polyak v. Conway, state lawmakers approved a same-sex marriage bill. Governor Martin OāMalley signed it into law in March. āOf course happiness,ā said Polyak when asked about her reaction. āMore than that just relief at not having to visit it again next year, hopefully, with the referendum not withstanding because I think everybody who has worked on this, truthfully, is exhausted.ā
The looming likelihood of a referendum on the same-sex marriage law once the governor signed it factored heavily into their decision to marry in D.C. last year. Attorney General Douglas Gansler said in Feb. 2010 that the state could recognize same-sex marriages that were legally performed in other jurisdictions. OāMalley subsequently ordered state agencies to recognize such unions.
āMy partner Gita felt very strongly about us getting older, about our kids getting older and you know what would happen if we couldāve got married and we didnāt get married, what might that bring if something happened to one of us, and that has to do with our family situation basically,ā said Polyak. āAgain, looking again through the eyes of our girls, they knew that marriage was available in D.C. and of course Gita and I wanted to be married. For them it didnāt make sense about why werenāt we getting married, so we were very aware of our personal needs and then also the fact that we didnāt want people in Maryland to think that we were giving up. We werenāt telegraphing of course any kind of negativity about the ongoing legislation. We literally went down to D.C. on the down low and we got married with a very small group of people ā like eight people who were close to us.ā
Polyak spoke to the Blade less than a month after she stepped down.
She was appointed acting chair of Equality Marylandās Board of Directors in June 2011 after attorney Chuck Butler resigned in the wake of former executive director Morgan Meneses-Sheetsā April 2011 departure from the organization. The board voted to appoint Polyak chair during Equality Marylandās annual meeting in January.
āI donāt know about lessons learned, but I know for Patrick Wojahn, who was the other board chair, and myself, both he and I were plaintiffs in the marriage litigation, and then just through serendipity found ourselves as the board chairs of the respective boards at the time when Equality Maryland went through all those difficulties,ā she said. āI think somehow for both of us we werenāt going to let it to fall apart. What Equality Maryland aspires to, which is the legal and the policy health of LGBT citizens I think is something both Patrick and I feel strongly in. And without really having a road map about how we were going to sort of keep things from falling completely apart, we just decided that we werenāt going to let it happen and we had three of the residual board members who worked with us all last summer. In retrospect I canāt believe that we did it, but i think itās just like anything ā if you really believe in something, you find a way.ā
In spite of her departure from Equality Maryland, Polyak said she plans to continue to advocate on behalf of LGBT families and children. She remains the online moderator of Families with Pride, a group for LGBT parents in Baltimore. And it plans to hold a reunion in the coming weeks.
āBoth my girls are getting ready to think about college. And so thatās always time consuming and lots of planning and I want to share in that time with them,ā said Polyak. āI have to say both for Gita and for myself, our focus has always been about what is the lack of law, what the lack of protections do to children and so Iām fairly certain that ending Equality Maryland wonāt be the end of my sort of advocacy for equality for our community.ā
The Comings & Goings column is about sharing the professional successes of our community. We want to recognize those landing new jobs, new clients for their business, joining boards of organizations and other achievements. Please share your successes with us at [email protected].Ā
Congratulations to Charles Roth on his appointment to the board of directors of the Pride Bands Alliance, the national and international organization for LGBTQ bands. On his appointment Roth said, āI am beyond humbled, and excited, to join the Board of Directors of Pride Bands Alliance at the national / international level for LGBTQ+ band organizations. The mission of promoting diversity, inclusivity, community, and pride through music is something I have always held very close to my heart. I very much look forward to working with this amazing organization and team, to keep that visibility alive and well, and to help foster and expand it even more across our country.ā
Roth is the 2025 Guest Drum Major for The Queer Big Apple Corps, and former Marching Band Artistic Director for D.C.ās Different Drummers. Under his leadership, DCDD expanded its presence in and around our nationās capital, featuring high-profile performances including at the National Cherry Blossom Festival Parade, Smithsonian Institute, World Pride 2019, and two special appearances at the Naval Observatory, home of Vice President Kamala Harris. He is the Team DC LGBTQ Student Athlete Scholarship Chair, and board member. He is a band director in Alexandria City Public Schools, and teaches middle school band at a Title I, International Baccalaureate School, where he built an award-winning program.
Congratulations also to Amira McKee and Chinanu Okoli, named by The Association of LGBTQ+ Journalists as recipients of the 2024 Phillips-Green Family Scholarship. These scholarships provide financial assistance to two CONNECT participants to support their participation in the CONNECT Student Journalism Training Project, and help launch their careers as young journalists.
“We are so excited to be partnering with the Phillips-Green Family Fund,” said NLGJA Executive Director Adam Pawlus. “Thanks to their generosity, we are thrilled to continue our support for young journalists whose work exemplifies our mission of creating a fairer and more diverse field of journalism.”
The CONNECT Student Journalism Training Project provides real-world, hands-on experience to students or recent graduates pursuing a career in journalism. The Phillips-Green Family Fund aims to provide organizations with financial assistance that work toward the education and well-being of women, children, and families. Their support helps make it possible for students in financial need to participate in our CONNECT program.
District of Columbia
A D.C. AIDS story: āI couldnāt have survived without you guysā
Old friends reunite as mystery of Kilbourne Place memorial stones is solved
āRed Reminds Meā
Seven videos reflecting the spectrum of living with HIV
Sunday, Dec. 1, 4-9 p.m.
David Bethuel Jamieson Studio House at Walbridge
3229 Walbridge Place, N.W.
Washington, D.C.
Reserve free admission on Eventbrite
In the tradition of my family, funerals are not somber affairs cloaked in black garb. We call them ācelebrations of lifeā where through our tears we laugh and reminisce about the dead. At the end, we all gather either in the basement of a church or a matriarchās house where over a spread of rich, decadent food, we rejoice in the fact that our dead relative shed the chains of their flesh and transcended to the next phase. With bellies full, the kids run outside and play with each other and the adults would drink and trade stories. The repast is my fondest memories of childhood. It was a time when I could see family members separated by distance and eat collard greens simmered in smoked turkey and mac and cheese so cheesy that it solidified into a brick when cold.
Never would I have imagined that a repast would occur at Don Juanās on the corner of Mt. Pleasant and Lamont. Instead of collard greens and mac and cheese, I dined on cheese pupusas with curtido. This occasion solidified the importance of a chosen family. While none of us were related by blood, we were related through one thread: AIDS. The story of the Kilbourne Memorial Stones is an AIDS story in which through unraveling the lives of Robert Rockershousen, Jakob Efsen, and Charles Winney, we received a glimpse into the impact of AIDS within D.C.ās gay community. A community that is often overshadowed by New York City and San Francisco when the early years of the epidemic are discussed.
When the Blade published my story āUnraveling mystery of the Kilbourne Place memorial stonesā in August of 2023, Charles Winneyās story was still untold. What I did find out about him was through scouring public records but, no one stepped up to eulogize him. My friend, Peter Stebbins, knew of my struggles to locate a source for Charles and motivated me to continue fighting for him. In June of this year, I told Peter that I knew of Charlesās partner, Larry Martin, who lives in Provincetown, Mass. Between the years of 2022 and 2023, I reached out to Larry through multiple means, but I received no response. Peter being a Provincetown regular since the 1980s, was adamant that he knew someone who knew Larry and could get him in contact with me. I cautioned Peter that this might not have been a good idea. I interpreted Larryās silence as not wanting to reopen an old wound.
Undeterred, Peter found a mutual friend on Facebook and reached out to Larry; 48 hours later, a relationship formed between Larry and me. Through phone conversations and in-person interviews, he brought me into the world of Larry & Chuck (Charles). From their beginnings as a young couple in Baltimore through their years on 1747 Kilbourne Place, they built an intricate and intimate web of community that reminded me of the communal affection I received from my family. There was this sense of āthrough thick and thinā that allowed them to stand in the gap for others within their community that were affected by AIDS. Larry told of how he and Chuck used to host dinners and care for those who were dying. They did it because they cared, and it was important to their identity as gay Christians to be of service of others.
In our many conversations, Larry alluded to the identity of who placed the stones. He hinted at the fact that it was a communal effort, and it wasnāt some lone solitary figure. Excitedly, I wanted to immediately put the story out, but he suggested for me to wait until he brought in his two friends, Mark Lambert and John Koran. Mark was Chuck and Larryās roommate on Kilbourne Place. He was one quarter of the āGolden Girls,ā which consisted of Mark, his friend Robbie, Larry, and Chuck. Together, they hosted large parties on the property that included parties for Pride. John was Robertās best friend and roommate. Like Larry, I reached out to John through multiple avenues, but we did not connect.
Within a week, we were sitting at Don Juanās drinking and breaking bread. While it was my intention to keep the group interview as formal as possible, I became enraptured in the camaraderie and nostalgia that permeated the air. Among these men with their graying hair and wrinkles, I again felt like that kid at the repast listening in on the adults. Larry officiated in a manner that was reminiscent of a patriarch. He corralled us all together in a group chat and laid the foundation for us to gather. Although the initial goal was to find out more information about Chuck, that moment laid bare the reality that these men belonged to a fraternity where they were hazed by the devastation of the AIDS epidemic. They are AIDS survivors.
Allowing these men to convene and break bread in fellowship was a way to finally eulogize Chuck and also a way for them to have a repast for Jake and Robert. Their banter and inside jokes brought forth a youthfulness and exuberance that almost moved me to tears on a few occasions. They became the adults in my family who drank their liquor and slapped their knees in laughter as they reminisced about the good olā days. While the men gave their eulogies, it was revealed that Larry, John, and a few others decided to lay down the Kilbourne Memorial Stones. It was decided that now that these men were together, we should walk down to the stones and take photos.
The men stood in front of the stones and on the porch of 1747 Kilbourne Place and they continued to laugh and tell stories while I snapped photos. We eventually parted ways and as I waited on the corner for a car to pass, I turned around and looked at the men for what may be the very last time. They were walking with their arms wrapped around each other like brothers. The scene reminded me of a discussion that was had at the dinner table less than an hour before. I asked the men if they believed their lives as gay men would be different during the epidemic if they didnāt have the support of each other. They all agreed in unison that their friendship was instrumental in their survival and Larry said among the nodding of heads, āI couldnāt have survived without you guys.ā
District of Columbia
D.C. Health Link insurance program makes care for people with HIV free
Deductible, co-payments eliminated under new policy
The executive board of the D.C. Health Benefit Exchange Authority, which arranges for D.C. residents and nonresidents employed in D.C. to obtain health insurance coverage, voted unanimously on Nov. 19 to make the treatment and long-term care of people with HIV free of charge if they are enrolled in one of the authorityās health insurance plans.
D.C. Health Link, an independent D.C. agency created by the Health Benefit Exchange Authority to carry out its health insurance program, announced the new HIV care policy in a Nov. 20 statement.
āMaking HIV care free ā meaning no deductibles, no co-insurance, no copays ā will save lives,ā said Diane C. Lewis, chair of the Health Benefit Exchange Authorityās board in the statement.
āStarting in Plan Year 2026, residents enrolled in a D.C. Health Link Essential Plan can get free primary care visits, free laboratory tests, and free generic HIV medication,ā the statement says. āVisits that would otherwise cost up to $45 per visit and $55 per lab test will be free,ā it says.
āMaking primary care for HIV free will improve health outcomes,ā the statement continues, noting that HIV disproportionately impacts communities of color. It points out that in D.C., 71 percent of people living with HIV are Black and 8 percent are Latino.
The statement also points out that nationwide at the end of 2022, āonly 64 percent of the Black population with HIV was linked to care and 53 percent were virally suppressed, meaning their HIV was suppressed through treatment.ā
In contrast, according to the statement, ā70 percent of the white population with HIV was linked to care and 63 percent were virally suppressed.ā
The statement also notes that Whitman-Walker Health, the D.C.-based LGBTQ supportive health care provider and research facility, played an important role in helping the D.C. Health Benefit Exchange Authority develop the free HIV care program.
Mila Kofman, executive director of the D.C. Health Benefit Exchange Authority, explained that the authority created D.C. Health Link as part of D.C.ās participation in the federal healthcare program established by the U.S. Affordable Care Act, which was approved by Congress during the administration of President Barack Obama.
Kofman noted that like programs established by states under the Affordable Care Act, D.C. Health Link arranges for D.C. residents or non-residents who work in D.C. to obtain health insurance plans from private health insurance companies. Among those participating in the D.C. program are United Healthcare, Blue Cross-Blue Shield, and Kaiser Permanente, Kofman said.
Like all private health insurance plans, Kofman said people participating in the plans arranged by D.C. Health Link must pay a monthly premium for their plan. She said the premiums vary based on the amount of coverage participants select in choosing a specific plan and reduced premiums are available for people depending on their income.
She said that due to the highly complex process for making policy changes for health insurance, which includes a review and approval by the D.C. Insurance Commissioner, the process takes a little over a year to complete. Thus, the new āfreeā HIV care coverage will begin Jan. 1, 2026.
According to Kofman, existing D.C. Health Link insurance plans already cover the HIV prevention medication known as PrEP.