Local
Polyak discusses marriage referendum, future activism
Former Equality Maryland board chair spoke to the Blade less than a month after she stepped down

Polyak was lead plaintiff in the Maryland marriage equality lawsuit (Deane and Polyak v. Conaway). (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
The former chair of Equality Maryland’s Board of Directors stressed on Monday she remains optimistic that voters will uphold the state’s same-sex marriage law in November.
“The polling trend is definitely way more positive than it has been in the last couple of years, but we continue to see evidence of people feeling strongly in another way,” said Lisa Polyak, referring to the controversy over Chick-fil-A President Dan Cathy’s comments against marriage rights for gays and lesbians. She also described Josh Levin of Marylanders for Marriage Equality as a “very effective campaign manager” who has begun to receive the resources she said he needs to defend the same-sex marriage law at the ballot. Polyak added she feels that both President Obama’s support of nuptials for gays and lesbians and the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People’s resolution in support of the issue provided the campaign with additional momentum.
“If we win in November, it will be in large measure because of those two events,” she said. “The campaign, rightly, is coming in under that and doing their job efficiently and well.”
Polyak and her partner of more than 30 years, Gita Deane, have remained two of the most prominent figures in the fight for nuptials for gays and lesbians in Maryland since they became the lead plaintiffs in the same-sex marriage lawsuit that Equality Maryland and the American Civil Liberties Union filed in 2004. The Maryland Court of Appeals in 2007 ultimately upheld the constitutionality of the state’s ban on nuptials for gays and lesbians, but Polyak stressed to the Blade that she and Deane simply wanted to protect their children.
“The reason we got involved in the first place was because we’ve had all of these sorts of unexpected experiences trying to take care of our kids,” she said, pointing to obtaining health care and passports for the couple’s two daughters and entering the country with them were among the difficulties they faced. “Starry eyed, we thought well we’ll get involved with the marriage litigation because you know if we were married we wouldn’t have these problems, although of course we had no idea what was ahead.”
Polyak said that the children of she and her wife Deane, Maya, who is 16, and Devi, who is 13, “were fairly renascent” about their decision to challenge Maryland’s same-sex marriage ban.
“For the older one, we told her that we were going to be in the litigation and we told her why in terms that we thought were appropriate for her… [what] it boiled down to is that we wanted to be married and that we couldn’t be married right now because of the way that the law was and just that she was shocked. And she told us so,” she recalled. “She goes; what do you mean you’re not married? I thought you were my parents and why aren’t you married? So it began sort of not just being the public face, but also like having this conversation in an ongoing way with our kids every year of their growth about what they could understand.”
Court of Appeals decision was “awful”
“Ultimately, for me especially it was important for them to see that even when things don’t go the way you want the first time, you don’t give up,” said Polyak as she stressed the need for her and Deane to “hold ourselves together for our girls so that they didn’t think bad things were going to happen to them or to our family.”
More than four years after Maryland’s highest court ruled against them in Deane and Polyak v. Conway, state lawmakers approved a same-sex marriage bill. Governor Martin O’Malley signed it into law in March. “Of course happiness,” said Polyak when asked about her reaction. “More than that just relief at not having to visit it again next year, hopefully, with the referendum not withstanding because I think everybody who has worked on this, truthfully, is exhausted.”
The looming likelihood of a referendum on the same-sex marriage law once the governor signed it factored heavily into their decision to marry in D.C. last year. Attorney General Douglas Gansler said in Feb. 2010 that the state could recognize same-sex marriages that were legally performed in other jurisdictions. O’Malley subsequently ordered state agencies to recognize such unions.
“My partner Gita felt very strongly about us getting older, about our kids getting older and you know what would happen if we could’ve got married and we didn’t get married, what might that bring if something happened to one of us, and that has to do with our family situation basically,” said Polyak. “Again, looking again through the eyes of our girls, they knew that marriage was available in D.C. and of course Gita and I wanted to be married. For them it didn’t make sense about why weren’t we getting married, so we were very aware of our personal needs and then also the fact that we didn’t want people in Maryland to think that we were giving up. We weren’t telegraphing of course any kind of negativity about the ongoing legislation. We literally went down to D.C. on the down low and we got married with a very small group of people — like eight people who were close to us.”
Polyak spoke to the Blade less than a month after she stepped down.
She was appointed acting chair of Equality Maryland’s Board of Directors in June 2011 after attorney Chuck Butler resigned in the wake of former executive director Morgan Meneses-Sheets’ April 2011 departure from the organization. The board voted to appoint Polyak chair during Equality Maryland’s annual meeting in January.
“I don’t know about lessons learned, but I know for Patrick Wojahn, who was the other board chair, and myself, both he and I were plaintiffs in the marriage litigation, and then just through serendipity found ourselves as the board chairs of the respective boards at the time when Equality Maryland went through all those difficulties,” she said. “I think somehow for both of us we weren’t going to let it to fall apart. What Equality Maryland aspires to, which is the legal and the policy health of LGBT citizens I think is something both Patrick and I feel strongly in. And without really having a road map about how we were going to sort of keep things from falling completely apart, we just decided that we weren’t going to let it happen and we had three of the residual board members who worked with us all last summer. In retrospect I can’t believe that we did it, but i think it’s just like anything — if you really believe in something, you find a way.”
In spite of her departure from Equality Maryland, Polyak said she plans to continue to advocate on behalf of LGBT families and children. She remains the online moderator of Families with Pride, a group for LGBT parents in Baltimore. And it plans to hold a reunion in the coming weeks.
“Both my girls are getting ready to think about college. And so that’s always time consuming and lots of planning and I want to share in that time with them,” said Polyak. “I have to say both for Gita and for myself, our focus has always been about what is the lack of law, what the lack of protections do to children and so I’m fairly certain that ending Equality Maryland won’t be the end of my sort of advocacy for equality for our community.”
Delaware
Delaware approves amendment protecting same-sex marriage
Measure must pass second vote in next year’s session
The Delaware General Assembly passed Senate Substitute 2 for Senate Bill 100 on the last day of the legislative session on Tuesday after being rescinded last week.
Senate Substitute 2 for Senate Bill 100 (SB-100) passed with 28 ‘yes’ votes, meeting the two-thirds threshold required for the bill to pass. Tuesday was the last day of the 153rd General Assembly.
The amendment would enshrine the right to same-sex and interracial marriage in the Delaware Constitution.
SB-100 was rescinded last week after it did not receive enough votes to pass. Democrats were short by three votes, with two Democratic members missing from the vote.
Rep. Josue Ortega (D-03) voted ‘no’ on SB-100 and Rep. Medinah Anton-Wilson (D-27) did not vote. However, both members voted ‘yes’ for Senate Substitute 2 for SB-100 on Tuesday.
Prime sponsor of SB 100, Rep. Claire Snyder-Hall (D-14), made the technical decision to change her vote last week from a ‘yes’ to a ‘no’ at the last minute to keep the bill alive.
Additionally, Republican Assemblyman Michael Smith (R-22) joined the Democrats with a ‘yes’ vote after voting ‘no’ on SB-100 last week.
In order for SB 100 to be enshrined into the state Constitution, it must be passed by two consecutive General Assemblies. Thus, the amendment will not be officially added to the Constitution unless it passes in the 154th General Assembly next year.
Rep. Snyder-Hall introduced the measure earlier this week.
“Just one week ago, we failed to pass this legislation. We failed the people of Delaware. But today, on the final day of the legislative session, the 153rd General Assembly affirmed that every Delawarean has the fundamental right to marry the person they love, regardless of race or gender,” said Snyder-Hall.
“Thank you to my colleagues for recognizing that the right to marry is a right worthy of protection and for voting yes on this important constitutional amendment.”
District of Columbia
Longtime Blade staffer Stephen Rutgers steps down after 14 years
Plans to focus on running Crush Dance Bar, other ventures
Longtime Washington Blade employee Stephen Rutgers announced he is stepping down after 14 years to focus on other ventures, including his part ownership of the popular Crush Dance Bar.
Rutgers was hired by the Blade in 2012 to help plan Pride festivities and over the years was promoted to director of sales and marketing. In addition to his broad set of responsibilities, Rutgers planned the annual Pride on the Pier celebration at the Wharf, which has exploded in popularity over the seven years since its launch.
“Watching Pride on the Pier grow from a new community event into one of D.C.’s signature Pride celebrations has been incredibly rewarding,” Rutgers said. “Expanding Pride on the Pier into a two-day festival for WorldPride in 2025 was definitely a career highlight. Seeing thousands of people come together to celebrate our community while supporting the Blade’s mission is something I’ll always be proud of.”

Rutgers described his biggest challenge as navigating the changing media landscape.
“More than ever, we’ve had to remind our community that local journalism matters and that it needs their support,” he said.
He added that he’s most proud of helping to ensure the Washington Blade is positioned to thrive for the next 50 years.
“I was fortunate to be part of the Blade during its 50th anniversary — a milestone that reflects its incredible history and impact,” Rutgers said. “The Blade has been an important voice for the LGBTQ community for more than five decades, and knowing I played a small part in helping its future is most important to me.”
Blade Publisher Brian Pitts praised Rutgers for juggling multiple responsibilities.
“We wish Stephen all the best,” Pitts said. “For the past 14 years, Stephen has been a vital part of the Blade, handling many things — marketing and advertising, sponsorships, and Blade signature events. We will all miss him.”
Blade Editor Kevin Naff thanked Rutgers for his years of service to the community.
“After 14 years, it’s hard to imagine the Blade without Stephen and his boundless energy and creativity,” Naff said. “He’s one of the hardest working and most dedicated people I’ve ever known and he will be missed. But change is the only constant and I know Stephen will move on successfully to new challenges and the Blade will expand on Stephen’s important work.”
As for what’s next for Rutgers, he said he plans to focus on Crush as well as his real estate business.
“I’ve always been someone who likes to stay busy,” Rutgers said. “For the past 12 years, I’ve balanced my work at the Blade and in real estate. Two years ago when I opened Crush, I never realized just how much time and energy it would take. The passing of my father earlier this year also gave me a new perspective. It reminded me that life is short and that it’s important to make time for the people and experiences that matter most. Stepping away from the Blade will allow me to focus on those ventures while also creating more balance in my life. After 14 incredible years, it feels like the right time for a new chapter.”
Naff said that for now Rutgers’s responsibilities will be divided between existing staff along with several new freelance contractors.
“The Washington Blade plays a unique role in our community’s fight for equality,” Rutgers said. “It’s the only LGBTQ news organization with White House credentials, giving it direct access to the people and institutions shaping policies that affect our community. The Blade continues to hold elected officials accountable, report on the issues that matter most to LGBTQ people, and tell the stories that often go uncovered by mainstream media.
“The Blade has been my family for most of my adult life. For 14 years, it has been part of my daily routine, so it’s going to feel very strange waking up and not logging on each morning.”
Maryland
‘Girlfriends’ wanted for murder in Silver Spring arrested in Ohio
Montgomery County police charged both with killing mother of one of them
Two women identified as a couple who have been wanted by Montgomery County, Md. police for allegedly killing the mother of one of them in her Silver Spring home on May 22 were arrested on June 10 in Ohio, according to a police statement.
The little-noticed statement released on June 11 says Vanessa Wahanganisa Tjongarero-Henderson, 29, of Clarksburg, Md., and Samantha Raebel, 36, of Phoenix, Ariz., who police earlier described as “girlfriends,” were apprehended by police in Genoa, Ohio after a local resident recognized them from news media coverage of the murder.
In their initial statement on June 4 announcing their investigation of the murder, Montgomery County Department of Police said they had charged the two women with first-degree murder for the death of Hilde Henderson, 67, who was the mother of Vanessa.
“Through the course of the investigation, detectives identified Henderson’s daughter, Vanessa Tjonhgarero-Henderson, and Vanessa’s girlfriend, Raebel, as the suspects,” the police statement said. It said detectives obtained an arrest warrant for the two women for first-degree murder and asked the public for help in locating them.
“A nationwide search was launched for the suspects, with media coverage extending throughout Ohio, Nashville, and Phoenix,” the most recent statement on June 11 announcing the two women’s arrest says. “Major Crimes Division detectives received multiple tips from several states before the two women were ultimately located in Genoa, Ohio,” it says.
It adds that an autopsy determined the cause of Hilde Henderson’s death was blunt-force trauma injuries brought about by a murder. Police have yet to disclose whether they have determined a motive for the murder.
“Tjongarero-Henderson and Raebel are currently being held at the Ottawa County [Ohio] Detention Center awaiting extradition to Maryland,” the statement concludes.
A spokesperson for the Office of the Montgomery County State’s Attorney, which prosecutes criminal cases in the county, told the Washington Blade the extradition was still pending and the two women had yet to be brought back to Maryland for prosecution as of June 29.
CBS News reported on June 16 that shortly after the two women fled almost 500 miles to Genoa, Ohio, they met a local resident at a fast-food restaurant and asked her for help, claiming they were homeless.
“They said they were living in Maryland,” CBS News quoted the resident, Adrienne Behrman, as saying. “They had taken what little money they had and left a toxic living situation, and they were headed to Arizona,” Behrman told CBS.
According to the CBS report, Behrman, who allowed the women to temporarily stay in her home, became suspicious that the stories they were telling her did not add up.
When one of them asked her for cigarettes and offered to reimburse her through the online Cash App payment platform, Behrman learned the woman’s real name—Henderson—through the app. Behrman then did an online search, “and that is when everything unraveled,” CBS reports, saying the search led to multiple press reports that the women were wanted for murder.
After leaving her home with the two women inside she called 911 to report the location of two people wanted for murder, CBS reports, adding that at least six police cars arrived and used a loud speaker to order the women out of the house and arrested them.
“I just hope the family and friends who knew the mother can have some peace,” Behrman told CBS News.
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