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Kevin Smith apologizes for Ben Affleck ‘gay kiss’ story

the director also sent an apology to Evan Rachel Wood

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(Screenshot via Facebook Live.)

Kevin Smith has apologized for sharing an old remark Ben Affleck made about filming a same-sex kiss during the 1997 film, “Chasing Amy.”

While speaking at Outfest in Los Angeles over the weekend, Smith recalled Affleck saying kissing another man is an actor’s “greatest” challenge and made him a “serious actor.”

Many were offended by the alleged comments including Evan Rachel Wood who sent a series of tweets slamming Affleck.

“Try getting raped in a scene, Also, grow up Ben,” Wood tweeted.

In an 11-minute Facebook Live video, Smith apologized for rehashing the story and said the comment was said in private. He also attributed the nature of the conversation to age. At the time, Affleck was 23 and Smith, who directed the film, was 26.

“Of course, Affleck doesn’t feel that way today and who knows if he even felt that way then? But he could’ve, he was in his 20s. We all say goofy s— in our f—ing 20s,” Smith says. “But it wasn’t something he went out into the world and talked about. It was something he said to me.”

“My intention in telling that story was good,’ Smith added. “It was not even a ‘Look how far we’ve come,’ although that’s in there. It was just like kids in their 20s, right. It was something that was said literally 21 years ago and not in the context of like homophobic or anything like that. It was just a different world and [the story] was adorable.”

Smith went on to apologize to Wood saying,  “Please, someone tell Evan Rachel Wood for me, my apologies. She’s mad at something that I said and I didn’t even say that, I mean, it was out of context and stuff like that.”

The director also apologized to Affleck and says the two don’t speak anymore but he feels “terrible” that the story was taken out of context.

“Whenever people ask me, ‘Hey, how’s Ben.’ I put it out in the press, I’m like, ‘I haven’t spoken to him in years,'” Smith says. “So I don’t pretend to a relationship we don’t have any more or anything, but fu*k do I feel terrible.”

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Out & About

DC Center to host estate planning seminar series

Three sessions presented by Murray Scheel

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The DC Center hosts a series of talks on end-of-life planning next week.

The DC Center for the LGBT Community and the DC Department on Aging and Community Living will host “Estate Planning Tools with Murray Scheel” via Zoom. 

Scheel will walk guests through the process of taking care of the end-of-life planning business that needs to be addressed during the golden years. Scheel is Senior Staff Attorney at Whitman-Walker Health’s Legal Services.

This event series will consist of three 1.5-hour sessions:

Jan. 19, 3 p.m. – “Tools for while you’re living” (overview, general power of attorney, healthcare power of attorney, disposition of remains, etc.)

Jan. 26, 3 p.m. – “Tools for after you’re gone” (living wills, last wills, assets, etc.)

Feb. 2, 3 p.m. – “Healthcare insurance & long term care” (Medicare, Medicaid, correcting misinformation, skilled nursing, hospice care, etc.)

To register for this event, visit the DC Center website.

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Out & About

DC Center to host legal seminar for trans people

Attorney Richard Tappan and paralegal Miranda Shipman to give legal advice

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The DC Center for the LGBT Community will host a “Gender and Name Change Legal Seminar” on Wednesday, Jan. 19 at 5:30 p.m. online. 

Attorney Richard Tappan and paralegal Miranda Shipman will give legal advice and speak on the importance of the legal community within the LGBTQ community, the difficulties of the LGBTQ community in the legal field and name and gender changes. 

Guests can find the link at the DC Center website.

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Books

Seeking love and community in Nicaragua

‘High-Risk Homosexual’ explores author’s youth, coming out

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(Book cover image courtesy of Soft Skill Press)

High-Risk Homosexual: A Memoir
By Edgar Gomez
c.2022, Soft Skull Press
$16.95/304 pages

Here. Try this.

It fits you, but the color isn’t flattering. It’s too long, too short, too tight, too loose. That’s not your style, so try something else until you find the thing that looks like you. The perfect thing is out there. As in the new book “High-Risk Homosexual” by Edgar Gomez, when something’s right, it’s right.

He was 13 when he figured out that he was a problem to be solved.

Edgar Gomez’ mother had left him in her native Nicaragua with his tíos, just for a while because she had to return to Florida to work. He wasn’t there without her for long, but it took years for him to understand that his time with his uncles was meant to make him more masculine.

In retrospect, he says, nobody wanted him to be a man more than he did. He wanted to be liked by other kids and so he told lies in school to make himself stand out. He wanted his mother to see his love of pretty things and say that it was OK. He wanted his brother to acknowledge that Gomez was gay, and to tell him that he loved him.

Instead, after his brother left for college, Gomez got his first boyfriend, a boy he came out to but who couldn’t come out to himself. He was called names in school. He came out to his mother, who freaked out about it. He befriended a drag queen, but “Princess” used him.

Things he wanted: a real boyfriend. Love. A ban on the stereotype of a macho Latinx man.

Things he still had, while in college: his mother and older brother. A tormentor-turned-mentor. A part-time job. His weirdness. His virginity.

Things he wanted to lose, while in college: his room at his mother’s house. His virginity, but that wouldn’t happen until later, during a painful one-afternoon-stand with a hot man who said he had a girlfriend. That hurt, both physically and emotionally but like so many things at so many times, Gomez tried not to think about it.

If he never considered what he didn’t have, he says, “I wouldn’t miss it.”

In a way, you could say that “High-Risk Homosexual” is a book in search of a point. It’s really quite random and told (mostly) linearly, but not quite. It has its peaks, but also low valleys. And you won’t care about any of this, because you’ll be enjoying every bit of it.

Yeah, this memoir is good: author Edgar Gomez’s literary wandering makes it feel much like an honest conversation with readers. There are wince-worthy moments that allow empathy here, and experiences that are unique but oddly ubiquitous, that leave space for a sense of sympatico. There are passages that are so wistfully uncomfortable that you might squirm, or start “snort-laughing,” or want to stop a moment and just think.

And there’s room for that, too, so take your time. “High-Risk Homosexual” is an affable book with just enough seriousness to make it worth a try.

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