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Out in the World: LGBTQ news from Europe and Asia

Swedish lawmakers last week passed a sweeping gender-recognition law

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(Los Angeles Blade graphic)

IRAQ

Iraqi protesters set fire to a rainbow-colored flag representing the LGBTQ community in Baghdad in front of the Swedish Embassy after a Quran was burned outside a mosque in Stockholm, June 29, 2023. (Al Jazeera screenshot)

A bill is being discussed in the Iraqi parliament that would introduce the death penalty or life in prison for same-sex relations, Reuters reported this week. Western diplomats have warned Iraqi lawmakers that if passed the law could have serious consequences for Iraq’s political and economic ties.

According to Reuters the measure imposes a sentence of life imprisonment or the death penalty for anyone engaging in same-sex relations or anyone who swaps their wife with someone else’s for sexual purposes. Lawmakers postponed voting over time constraints and that some disagreements remained over proposed amendments

The law contains a provision that echoes the Russian law banning the promotion of homosexuality and violations are punishable by at least seven years in prison.

UNITED KINGDOM

Tory MP Miriam Cates speaks in the House of Commons in December 2023 (Parliament TV screenshot)

Miriam Cates, the Tory MP for Penistone and Stocksbridge in South Yorkshire, took aim this week against a proposal to set up voluntary “gender and sexual orientation alliance groups” in Scottish schools that opt in. 

Speaking to GB News, Cates said: “These are children who have not been through puberty and they don’t have sexual feelings. Asking them if they are straight or gay is not only ridiculous, it is also disturbing. Why would an adult in a school be asking a small child about their sexual feelings?” She added that the scheme is “very, very worrying” and has been “dressed up to be seen as a diversity agenda, an inclusivity agenda.”

The Tory MP has a long record of anti-LGBTQ remarks and activism. In January 2023, after the government of Prime Minister Rishi Sunak announced its unprecedented decision to use a Section 35 order under the Scotland Act to prevent the Scottish bill from becoming law, addressing the House of Commons, Cates said she believed it was “​​absolutely right” for the Tory government to block Scotland’s gender reform law. 

PinkNewsUK reported Cates then claimed the bill would make it “vastly easier for a predator to gain access to children” and alleged it would have a “chilling effect” on single-sex spaces. 

PinkNewsUK also noted that the Tory MP said that this latest push to encourage schools to install gender-neutral bathrooms, and hold meetings about LGBTQ inclusion, among other initiatives in Scotland was little more than “adults with a particular ideology are pushing that ideology on children, with damaging effects.”

A Scottish government spokesperson told the Telegraph: “We are committed to doing everything we can to make Scotland the best place to grow up for LGBTQI+ young people.” The spokesperson added: “This includes funding LGBT Youth Scotland to deliver a range of projects, such as the LGBT Charter program.”

SWEDEN

Swedish parliament (Photo courtesy of the Swedish government)

The Swedish parliament has passed a sweeping gender-recognition law that eases the process for transgender people to update their legal gender. The law also lowers the minimum age for a gender change from 18 to 16, although minors will be required to have the consent of their parents, a doctor, and the National Board of Welfare.

The Swedish Parliament adopted the law in a 234-94 vote on April 17, following six hours of tense debate. The law will come into effect next July.

The law was supported by the Moderate Party, which is the largest party in the governing coalition, as well as several opposition parties. The bill was vehemently opposed by the Christian Democrats, which are part of the coalition, and the far-right Sweden Democrats, who are in allied with but not a part of the government.

Sweden became the first modern country to allow legal gender change back in 1972, but the process to do so was derided as cumbersome and dehumanizing. Trans people would be forced to live in their gender identity for at least two years before applying, they’d have to be single or divorce their spouse, and they’d have to first undergo sex reassignment surgery and sterilization. 

Roughly 800 trans Swedes are believed to have undergone sterilization under this regime before the law was changed to remove that requirement in 2013. In 2018, parliament approved a compensation scheme that awarded up to 225,000 Swedish krone (approximately $27,000) to people forced to undergo sterilization.

But other countries have since leapfrogged Sweden in recognizing trans people’s right to gender self-determination. All of the other Nordic countries — Norway, Denmark, Iceland, and Finland — allow trans people to update their legal gender by simple self-declaration, as do New Zealand, Ireland, Spain, Portugal, Chile, Argentina, Brazil, as well as many states and provinces of Canada, Mexico, and the U.S.

The new law doesn’t give trans Swedes everything they had wanted. While the application process no longer requires a doctor’s diagnosis of gender dysphoria, a consultation with a doctor or psychologist is still required. Children under 16 are also prevented from changing their legal gender, even with parental consent.

The law also maintains a ban on gender-related surgeries on minors. 

Moderate Party leader Ulf Kristersson says that the bill will be a big help for trans people in Sweden, pitting the law as a reasonable compromise . 

“The vast majority of people in Sweden will never notice that the law changes. But for a number of people in an often vulnerable situation, the new law can make an important difference. Everyone should be able to respect that,” Kristersson wrote in the Expressen  newspaper

Lina Axelsson Kihlblom, a trans woman and former minister of education from 2021-2022, the change will protect trans people’s security.

“For transgender people, it makes a huge difference to one’s freedom, security, future and sense of respect from society. We who are actually affected therefore really want a modernization of the law,” she wrote in Expresssen

“I was forcibly sterilized, aged 21. I also had to wait until I was almost 24 before my legal gender was corrected. For several years, I had risked my life by having to show ID documents that did not show what others or I myself saw. Threats, hatred and fear of the uncomprehending mob were there daily. These traumas give me an ‘experience’ that I reluctantly house within me every day, even though I have passed 50. No one else should have to handle it,” Kihlblom says.

CZECH REPUBLIC

Czech President Petr Pavel speaks to the EU Parliament in October 2023 in Strasbourg, France. (Photo courtesy of Pavel’s office)

The Czech Senate ended debate on the same-sex partnership law without a vote on April 17, sending it on to President Petr Pavel, who is expected to sign it into law.

Czechia has allowed same-sex couples to enter “registered partnerships” since 2006, but these have always been seen as inferior to full marriage equality. Couples in registered partnerships were not given equal tax treatment, were not allowed to adopt children, and were not called “married” or treated as a family.

Under the new bill, “registered partnerships” will be replaced with “partnerships,” that are given all the rights of marriage except for the word “marriage,” and except for the right to jointly adopt children. The bill will come into effect in January 2025.

Going forward, couples in partnerships will have access to stepchild adoption, where one partner adopts the other’s biological child. Adopting a partner’s non-biological child will be possible but will require a court procedure.

Same-sex marriage has long been a political hot potato in Czechia. Polls consistently show the public supports same-sex marriage and adoption rights, but lawmakers are more conservative. 

This partnership bill started as a same-sex marriage bill, but the lower house of parliament amended the bill to the current version when it passed it in February. There was some concern among lawmakers that there was not enough support in either house of parliament to pass full marriage equality.

There had been some hope among activists that the Senate would amend the bill to allow same-sex marriage, but that fizzled as several committees examined the bill and failed to adopt amendments. 

“We were not afraid of the discussion in the Senate, it took place powerfully in the committees. But we didn’t want things that hurt people from the LGBTI+ community to be heard again,” Václav Láska, a senator from the Pirates party, told iDNES.cz. “There was a real risk that the law would fall under the table and the LGBTI+ community would get no rights at all. It’s a temporary compromise.”

The same-sex marriage advocacy group Jsme fér said the new partnerships bill maintains discrimination against gay people and their children.

“It does not give them the same rights as other citizens. It disadvantages children only according to the relational orientation of those who adopt them. Those children who want to be adopted by a same-sex couple will have to go through their own adoption twice,” said Jsme fér. “The dream goal of our journey together is still waiting for us.”

NEPAL

(Photo courtesy of the Nepal Tourism Board)

The Nepal Tourism Board hosted the country’s first-ever conference dedicated to promoting LGBTQ tourism in the Himalayan nation this weekend, in a sign of the growing acceptance of queer people as well as the growing interest in the spending power of queer tourists.

Nepal has swiftly expanded LGBTQ rights since the country decriminalized gay sex and cross-dressing in 2007 in the wake of the establishment of democratic government. Since then, the courts have ordered the government to take increasing steps to promote LGBTQ rights and inclusion, culminating in last year’s interim Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage. A final decision on same-sex marriage is expected from the Supreme Court soon. 

Nepal is only the second country in Asia to legalize same-sex marriage. 

For Nepal Tourism Board director Nandini Lahe-Thapa, LGBTQ tourism represents a huge opportunity for growth in the impoverished country. 

“For Nepal’s tourism industry, the LGBTIQ conference is a triumph as this is one of the most important market segments that we have yet to tap,” Lahe-Thapa told the Kathmandu Post.

Lahe-Thapa hopes Nepal can leverage its position as one of only a few places in the region where LGBTQ people are tolerated and welcomed to provide a unique travel experience for queer visitors. 

“People might feel uncomfortable sharing their identity and choices if the place and the people are judgmental and unfriendly. Here we have an advantage as a destination,” Lahe-Thapa says.

To build on that advantage, the Nepal Tourism Board has invested in ways to make the country more welcoming to LGBTQ travelers by training queer Nepalis to work in the hospitality industry — and particularly as trekking guides to help queer visitors access Nepal’s popular mountains. Last year, the board organized trekking guide training to 25 queer Nepalis.

There are now dozens of business across the country openly owned by members of the LGBTQ community, including bars, restaurants, hotels, and travel and tour operators, particularly in the bustling capital, Kathmandu.

Participants in the conference also noted that legal same-sex marriage presents a particular opportunity for the country.

“Businesses are opening up for the queer and that’s a good sign. We can promote Nepal as a same-sex marriage and honeymoon destination,” says Sunil Babu Pant, a former legislator who was the first openly queer lawmaker elected in Asia.

Conference attendees also pointed out that Nepal’s long history and diverse culture includes many LGBTQ-related traditions, which present a unique attraction for visitors. Nepal has important ancient festivals, temples, rituals, stories, and traditional culture recognizes six genders, all of which offer a unique experience for the queer traveller.

The queer market is frequently cited as being worth trillions of dollars annual across the globe, with LGBTQ people often seen as being more likely to spend on travel and unique experiences than most buyers. 

One of the largest segments of the LGBTQ tourism market is in neighboring China, where the queer population is estimated to hold hundreds of billions of dollars in wealth. Nepal is uniquely positioned to take advantage of the Chinese market, which is only expected to grow.

“One of the things that we know from Chinese gay travelers is they are looking for places they feel safe, where they can hold hands and where they can have new experiences,” says Diane Anderson-Minshall, CEO of GO Magazine, who was one of the presenters at the conference.

NEW ZEALAND

31-year-old Ford O’Connor appeared in Auckland District Court and pleaded guilty. (Television New Zealand/TVNZ1 screenshot)

One of the men accused of defacing a Pride-flag themed crosswalk in Auckland’s central business district has pleaded guilty to the crime and was ordered to pay a huge fine in restitution, RNZ reported.

The Progress Pride Flag-themed crosswalk on Karangahape Road in the heart of Auckland’s queer neighborhood was painted over in the middle of the night on March 27, by vandals who were recorded dumping white paint over it and mopping it over the crosswalk to cover it nearly completely. Much of the white paint was subsequently washed off by rain and traffic.

Video of the vandalism was shared to the Tiktok account @aucklandcitynight00. Police quickly identified the vandals by recognizing unique markings on their truck.

It was the second rainbow crosswalk to be vandalized that week, after vandals targeted a crosswalk in Gisborne, about 300 miles southwest of Auckland, two days earlier. Police were able to apprehend several suspects in that incident.

31-year-old Ford O’Connor appeared in court April 15 to plead guilty to the Auckland vandalism and was ordered to pay NZ$16,093 (approximately $9,475) in reparations.

Both sets of vandals were affiliated with the extremist Divinity Church, a Christian cult led by Brian Tamaki with around 1,700 members, according to the latest New Zealand Census. Tamaki preaches a far-right political ideology alongside anti-LGBTQ messages.

Tamaki later told a press conference that O’Connor is married to his granddaughter. Tamaki had previously denied his Church’s involvement in the Auckland vandalism.

Tamaki has also claimed that the vandalism of the Pride crosswalks was not a hate crime, and that he supported the vandalism as an act of protest against “rainbow washing” at the taxpayer’s expense.

New Zealand does not have hate crime laws that impose stiffer penalties on hate-motivated crimes, although police do track them. The vandalism had been tracked as a hate crime.

The church has recently taken particular issue with drag queen story events at public libraries, leading at least one library to cancel an event due to security concerns raised by the threat of Divinity Church protesters.

Auckland Transport says the Pride flag crosswalk is expected to be restored within the month.

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Egypt

Iran, Egypt object to playing in Seattle World Cup ‘Pride Match’

Game to take place on June 26

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(Photo by fifg/Bigstock)

Iran and Egypt have objected to playing in a “Pride Match” that will take place in Seattle during the 2026 World Cup.

The Egyptian Football Association on Tuesday said it told FIFA Secretary General Mattias Grafström in a letter that “it categorically rejects holding any activities related to supporting (homosexuality) during the match between the Egyptian national team and Iran, scheduled to be held in Seattle, USA, on June 26, 2026, in the third round of the group stage of the 2026 World Cup.” Football Federation Islamic Republic of Iran President Mehdi Taj told ISNA, a semi-official Iranian news agency that both his country and Egypt “protested this issue.”

The 2026 World Cup will take place in the U.S., Canada, and Mexico. The draw took place at the Kennedy Center on Dec. 5.

Iran is among the handful of countries in which consensual same-sex sexual relations remain punishable by death.

The State Department’s 2023 human rights report notes that while Egyptian law “did not explicitly criminalize consensual same-sex sexual activity, authorities regularly arrested and prosecuted LGBTQI+ persons on charges including ‘debauchery,’ prostitution, and ‘violating family values.’” Egyptian authorities “also reportedly prosecuted LGBTQI+ individuals for ‘misuse of social media.’”

“This resulted in de facto criminalization of same-sex conduct and identity,” notes the report.

The 2024 human rights report the State Department released earlier this year did not include LGBTQ-specific references.

Soccer has ‘unique power to unite people across borders, cultures, and beliefs’

The June 26 match between Iran and Egypt coincides with Seattle Pride. The Washington Post reported the Seattle FIFA World Cup 2026 Local Organizing Committee decided to hold the “Pride Match” before last week’s draw.

“As the Local Organizing Committee, SeattleFWC26’s role is to prepare our city to host the matches and manage the city experience outside of Seattle Stadium,” said SeattleFWC26 Vice President of Communications Hana Tadesse in a statement the committee sent to the Washington Blade on Wednesday. “SeattleFWC26 is moving forward as planned with our community programming outside the stadium during Pride weekend and throughout the tournament, partnering with LGBTQ+ leaders, artists, and business owners to elevate existing Pride celebrations across Washington.”

“Football has a unique power to unite people across borders, cultures, and beliefs,” added Tadeese. “The Pacific Northwest is home to one of the nation’s largest Iranian-American communities, a thriving Egyptian diaspora, and rich communities representing all nations we’re hosting in Seattle. We’re committed to ensuring all residents and visitors experience the warmth, respect, and dignity that defines our region.”

The 2034 World Cup will take place in Saudi Arabia.

Consensual same-sex sexual relations remain punishable by death in the country. The 2022 World Cup took place in neighboring Qatar, despite concerns over the country’s anti-LGBTQ rights record.

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Spain

Victory Institute honors transgender Spanish senator in D.C.

Carla Antonelli describes Trump policies as ‘absolutely terrifying’

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Spanish Sen. Carla Antonelli, speaks at the International LGBTQ+ Leaders Conference in D.C. on Dec. 5, 2025. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The LGBTQ+ Victory Institute on Dec. 5 inducted Spanish Sen. Carla Antonelli into its LGBTQ+ Political Hall of Fame.

Antonelli in 2011 became the first openly transgender woman elected to a regional legislative office in Spain when she won a seat in the Madrid Assembly.

She left Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez’s leftist Spanish Socialist Workers’ Party in 2022. Antonelli in 2023 became the first openly trans woman in the Spanish Senate when Más Madrid, a progressive regional party, named her Pablo Gómez Perpinyà’s successor in the chamber.

The Hall of Fame induction took place during the Victory Institute’s annual International LGBTQ+ Leaders Conference at the JW Marriott Hotel in downtown D.C. The Washington Blade spoke with Antonelli on Dec. 6.

“We are living in rather turbulent times, hence the importance and necessity of gatherings like this one … to unite in these times, come together, and develop common strategies and policies.”

Antonelli, 66, grew up in Güímar, a municipality on the island of Tenerife in Spain’s Canary Islands.

She said transphobia forced her to leave her hometown in 1977, and she turned to sex work to support herself. Antonelli’s political activism began that year when she joined the campaign against a 1970 law that criminalized consensual same-sex sexual acts and LGBTQ people.

General Francisco Franco, whose regime governed the country from 1936-1975, approved the Law on Social Danger and Rehabilitation. Spain in 1995 removed the statute’s remaining provisions from its penal code.

Antonelli in the 1980s became a well-known actress. She is also a former spokesperson for Federación Estatal de Lesbianas, Gays, Transexuales y Bisexuales, a Spanish LGBTQ advocacy group known by the acronym FELGTB.

‘We will not go back to the margins’

Antonelli in February gave an impassioned speech in support of trans rights on the Senate floor.

She specifically singled out members of Vox, a far-right political party, over their efforts to repeal a landmark 2023 law that allows people who are at least 16 to legally change their gender without medical intervention. Antonelli’s speech — and her proclamation that “we will not go back to the margins” — quickly went viral.

Antonelli told the Blade she received messages of support from people in Algeria, Australia, Turkey, Mauritius, and elsewhere around the world. She added her speech was “the conclusion of everything I can feel at any given moment, also the pride of having lived through all these historical processes.”

“For whatever reason, I was born in ’59, and I lived through the dictatorship in my country,” said Antonelli. “I lived through the dictator’s death and I lived through what Spain was like exactly 50 years ago. It began to walk in freedom, and so freedom must be defended.”

Antonelli feared US would not allow her into the country

The Victory Institute conference took place less than a year after the Trump-Vance administration took office.

Antonelli in June traveled to D.C. and participated in WorldPride 2025. She admitted the White House’s anti-trans policies left her wondering whether the U.S. would allow her into the country as a trans woman.

The White House only recognizes two genders: male and female.

President Donald Trump after he took office signed an executive order that bans the State Department from issuing passports with “X” gender markers. U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services in August announced it will ensure “male aliens seeking immigration benefits aren’t coming to the U.S. to participate in women’s sports.”

Spain is among the countries that have issued advisories for trans and nonbinary people who are planning to visit the U.S.

“This speaks volumes about the policies of intimidation and targeting they’re implementing, policies that have made trans people scapegoats for all of humanity’s ills,” Antonelli told the Blade.

“In the United States, now with Trump, it’s absolutely terrifying because we’re talking about not just taking away a right, they’re going against our lives, against our very existence,” she added.

Antonelli in June met U.S. Rep. Sarah McBride (D-Del.), the first openly trans woman elected to Congress. Antonelli told the Blade she “watched with sorrow” how U.S. Rep. Nancy Mace (R-S.C.) and other Republicans treated the Delaware Democrat after her historic 2024 election.

“The first thing some vengeful scoundrels, thirsty for evil, do is prohibit her from entering the women’s restrooms,” said Antonelli.

“It’s nothing more than a desire to humiliate, to degrade,” she added. “Behind many of these policies lies a desire to do harm. In other words, these are bad people, evil people whose principles aren’t an ideology. They revel in it. They enjoy thinking about how they are making other human beings suffer.”

Antonelli also stressed “visibility” is “freedom.”

“The more they try to erase us, the more we have to be visible,” she said. “They know perfectly well that visibility inevitably leads to normality, to normalization, which is nothing more than what is repeated daily, routinely. What’s normal is what you see every day, so they’re trying to prevent us from being visible in every way possible, because what they don’t want is for society to accept, to live with this truth.”

Antonelli also offered advice for trans people who want to run for office.

“Always be upfront,” she said. “Don’t hold back, but above all, don’t forget where you come from. Because you might be lucky enough to rise and become a representative of the people, but don’t forget your origins.”

Antonelli noted she is the Más Madrid spokesperson for health, equality, culture, and other issues, but added she “will never, never, never abandon my trans sisters and the LGBTQ+ community.”

“I never severed times with my roots,” Antonelli told the Blade. “My roots are a conservative family, a town I had to flee and to which I didn’t return until 32 years later. My future, my past, is a street corner. My past is being able to make that journey in a democracy and go from that street corner to a seat in the Madrid Assembly and then from there to a seat in the Senate. And that is precisely the greatness of democracy.”

She ended the interview by a quote she gave to El País, a Spanish newspaper.

“Those who used to call us faggots have to now call us ‘your honors,’” said Antonelli.

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Movies

A queer Korean adoptee finds healing with original family members

‘I should have been there’

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(Public domain photo)

What does longing for your child look like? What happens when they resurface in front of you, when that rift was once an immeasurable open sea — a searing pain that silently hollowed you out for decades? For the child wrenched away by circumstance and thrown into the purgatory of always feeling in-between: in between home, in between being a whole person, in between who you could have been and who you are now — what does it mean to become and belong?

In filmmaker Jota Mun’s documentary “Between Goodbyes”, the fragmented yearning for home, family and identity are woven together into a tremendous and at times dream-like contemplation of the self, focused on various family members set adrift by a deceitful international adoption machine. 

The story is focused on Mieke Murkes, a queer Korean adoptee who grew up in the rural village of Vaassen in the Netherlands. Shortly after her birth in 1982, she was raised by Willy, a devout evangelical Christian woman. But the story does not begin with Mieke in Vaassen. It begins with Okgyun, her original mother, walking through an ephemeral meadow as she makes her way to a shoreline. This is our first point of loss. 

It is important to understand how the stories of Okgyun and Mieke exist. In “Between Goodbyes”, we see a frustrating glimpse into the cultural and political forces that created this separation. Since 1955, 200,000 children have been adopted from South Korea, and just three years ago, several of these adoptees found that their documents had been falsified. Murkes would sift through her own papers in “Between Goodbyes”, noting their dull and rote descriptions of her physical appearance and health. “The paperwork is as if you’re buying a new car,” Murkes says. 

Written nearby: “Both parents are unknown,” a falsehood that leaves the family breathless. It is a gut punch. 

This March, a South Korean governmental agency admitted that it had violated the rights of adoptees, but an investigation that began in 2022 at the behest of over 350 Korean adoptees has been halted. Whether or not retribution can ever be paid is up in the air, but the reeling grief and complicated self-reckoning many of these adoptees and their families face are rendered and expressed with deep tenderness in Mun’s documentary. “I did not know how to fit the Korean part of me in there,” Murkes said. 

When Okgyun was pregnant with Mieke, she was also raising three other daughters: Mijin, Mikyung and Taekyung. The population was booming, and mothers like herself were being shamed for continuing to have children. Considering abortion, Okgyun recounts a midwife who convinced her not to go through with it — that if the child were a boy, she should keep him. If it turned out to be a girl, she could give her away to live “a good life” in the U.S. “Men are always positioned above women,” Okgyun said. “I always hated that.” 

After Mieke was born, Okgyun’s mother-in-law told her to give her away. “She was gone before I saw her face,” Okgyun said. “I let her go.” Her guilt tightens her throat, trembles in her voice. “I dreamed of Mieke a lot. I can’t tell you how many times,” Okgyun said. “Dreaming and forgetting, dreaming, and forgetting. The thought that kept me going is that one day I can find Mieke.” 

What ensued was a several years-long search. Kwangho, Mieke’s original father, pleaded with an adoption agency for any leads about Mieke. They denied him several times and his desperation only grew. “I had to find her to be at peace before I die,” he said. 

Meanwhile, Mieke’s own grief and confusion were compounding. When she was beginning to discover her queerness, she was deeply ingrained in local religious spaces. What made her feel free, the church treated as an aberration — as behavior that resulted from loss. 

When she would eventually meet her original family, they, too, had trouble processing her queer identity and masculine presentation. To them, queerness was “acquired” from being raised in a foreign land. With time, they grew to embrace Mieke and her partner, Marit, even as misunderstandings arose. Of this, Mieke’s conflictedness is explored. Gay rights are more advanced and accepted in the Netherlands than in South Korea, but this does not mean contending with her queerness would have been easy with her adoptive mother, Willy. “It probably would have disappointed her a lot,” Mieke tearfully revealed.

Mieke’s stepping in between knowing and unknowing is reminiscent of Okgyun’s dreaming and forgetting — their grief and confusion move within them, replicating themselves over and over again. “Between Goodbyes” dives deeply into this in order to offer a portrait of healing: of its complications and the necessity of community support to achieve this. 

Mun discusses the film with the Los Angeles Blade, diving into how reunification between adoptees and original family members is, in many ways, made nearly impossible by factors like language and cultural barriers enforced and held tightly in place by the international adoption system. This film illustrates a break in this narrative and the mighty efforts behind it all.

A broadcast version of “Between Goodbyes” is now available to stream on PBS. See below for more information.

Can you tell me about the inception of making “Between Goodbyes”? Have you always wanted to tell a story about international Korean adoption from a queer perspective?

As a queer Korean adoptee myself, [there are] so many intersections that I haven’t quite seen on screen before. So I was always really excited about making something about my community. And then I’d say, in 2017, is around when I started getting closer to zeroing in on the idea. I think part of it was through befriending Mieke and hearing her parents’ story. Hearing about their efforts really blew my mind. 

So much of the standard narrative is that adoptees initiate the search. So even before meeting [Okgyun and Kwangho], it just felt like it spoke so loudly of not only their character, but a piece of the puzzle that I had never considered — that they could be longing for us. And I think as an adoptee, you always wonder what [your original parents] would think. So it’s very noticeable that we almost don’t ever hear from them directly. Even in narrative stories of adoption, they’re usually deleted, or they’re written in a really flat way that feels like they’re serving the plot. I’ve never seen a depiction of birth mothers in particular who are questioning their own circumstances or feel angry about it.

There’s a lot of nuance given to all of the different people that we see in the story. The pain is layered and deep, and we don’t just view it from one perspective. What was it like having to portray this hurt, when many adoption stories typically focus solely on the adoptee’s emotional and personal journey?

It’s so unique through each lens, even though it’s the same pain. Like her sisters — of course, it’s going to affect them. Even if she never said anything, they must have felt it. It just ripples out to everyone and keeps expanding. 

Originally, it was focused on Mieke, because that’s who I had the most access to, and she’s the closest to me in terms of general identity markers. So in my mind, I felt more confident that I could tell her story in a nuanced way. But what about Okgyun? I was hitting a similar barrier of communication that Mieke had hit. That’s part of why our main producer, Zoe Sua Cho, was so essential in conveying more about Okygun and the original family’s side of the story. 

When I was in the early stages of developing the film, there was a quote that I felt was really inspirational: “In our hurting, we did not realize that we were stolen from each other” (by SN Désirée Cha from Outsiders Within Writing on Transracial Adoption.) The same quote came back to me in the edit and helped us find a narrative structure that went beyond just one person’s perspective. 

What if the main character is the collective trauma, a singular event that causes the family to splinter and suffer across decades? I wanted to explore how tempting it is in these moments of righteous anger at systemic problems to end up fighting with each other. I feel like they both had to mourn something that was so much bigger than any one family. Mieke’s adoption affected so many people that I almost wanted that to be the main character. How do we not get lost in that pain and still try to come back together? It’s too much to carry alone. 

So the main character is not necessarily one person, but the issue that you’re trying to tackle throughout the story. It also makes me think about how the documentary itself, or the making of it, also participates in this community healing that I feel like was the focus of “Between Goodbyes”.

I hope it’s an important layer. Suffice to say I think I always deflect to name a singular main character. I wanted to show everyone’s point of view while of course highlighting especially Okgyun and Mieke. 

What else can you share about your approach to filmmaking?

You know, I was on this wonderful panel earlier this year, hosted by A-DOC, and I kind of surprised myself in preparing for it. I realized, actually, I have a lot of strong beliefs on filmmaking ethics that I hope come through in the film. For example, I reject the genius artist myth. The fantasy that if an artist is talented enough, they get permission to treat everyone around them terribly. That exploitation and squeezing things out of people is the best way to make great art. 

Instead, I want to believe that the sensitivity, the care, and emotional work I poured in is going to come shining through in the film. And I do think that’s part of why we witnessed so many intensely vulnerable moments that I couldn’t have predicted.

This emotional connection to the film is also, visually, represented in artistic and inventive ways. There are sequences interspersed throughout that feel dream-like and cinematic. Creatively, what was it like to structure and craft how you wanted those scenes to be, the weight that they carried, and why you wanted to represent them in that way?

Aw, thanks for saying so! I was clear from the beginning that I wanted certain moments in the film to look as cinematic and epically life-changing as they feel in real life. Because visually, sometimes these moments of heartbreak can look rather dull. The deep heartbreak of a farewell at the airport. What does it look like? It looks like two people hugging in a very normal-looking terminal. But that’s not what it feels like. It feels larger than life. So to me, every single one of the art [scenes] has a very literal symbolism in my mind.

I really enjoy the complexity given to the family, both through the artistic symbolism and through the different angles we get to view them in. When it comes to Mieke’s queer identity, there are varying levels of acceptance and also tension that co-exist. One of her sisters, Mikyung, skirts around terms and labels, instead saying Mieke is “like that,” and “I don’t know anyone like that.” There was this feeling that queerness is learned or acquired elsewhere — that Mieke “wouldn’t have turned out like that” if she had grown up with her original family in Korea.

I can’t be sure what they were implying but you know, I definitely didn’t want to fall into a common trope of seeing Western values as being so liberal and accepting and framing all other cultures as homophobic. I want to be clear that there is a queer community in Seoul. It’s not the same as Amsterdam, of course, but it does exist. 

That’s part of why it was important for me to include Mieke mentioned what she thinks her Dutch mom would have thought — just to clarify that homophobes are everywhere. There are plenty of them here in the West as well. Mieke’s Dutch parents were Evangelist Christians. So it’s not like everyone in the West is free to be a lesbian, you know?

Another moment that struck me in the film was a moment where we, as the audience, get to see you clearly. In this scene, we see you and Mieke on a rooftop, and you’re consoling her as she’s trying to prepare for a difficult conversation with her original mother, Okgyun. Did you have to find a balance in terms of being the director of this film and being Mieke’s friend?

It was really important to me to show friendship and how much that can help you along the journey. You think that for her to emotionally process things, it would have to be with her mom. But that rooftop conversation felt so transformative in itself. And then what ended up being the kind of mirror scene to that was Okgyun talking to Ruth [a fellow original mother]. She needed a buddy, too. How many times in life are we like: the opposing party doesn’t need to get it, but if my friend just could — that would give me so much relief and patience to enter the actual conversation with the person I’m upset with. 

Being so personally close to Mieke and her family meant that my film was about all people I loved and cared about. I think the documentary field comes from such a long history of an anthropological approach. It’s like, “I’ve helicoptered in, and I just met you, but I’m the expert artist.” I wish the ethos were the opposite; we need to care about everyone, from the participants to the crew. I don’t want the blood, sweat, and tears to come through on the screen. I hope that watching it makes people feel cloaked in tenderness and care.

I was so worried about everyone, probably too much. It’s such a weird thing to ask people to do, to be in a film, so I took that with a lot of responsibility. Be aware of the impact you’re having. I am having an effect on this family’s life. I almost wanted to be like: “Forget my art project.” This is about the rest of their lives as a family, and that’s more important. So it became a light on my path, trying to make decisions as best I could to have a positive impact on their relationship. 

It almost made me question my ethics in a different direction. “Am I intervening too much?” And that’s a strange thing: I have to admit I exist. I’m not a fly on the wall. And I think that’s why the conversation on the roof was really the most vulnerable for me, because I was showing myself. I’ve actually been here the whole time, cheering them on or trying to diffuse tension. I set out to make a film about how hard it is to stay in reunion, but now I’ve realized I’ll be heartbroken if their reunion doesn’t last. So in many ways the film was really just a vehicle for my attempt at keeping us all connected across so many distances, and that’s my own emotional journey or connection to their story.

Mun plans to release the full-length film in 2026, along with deleted scenes and additional footage. Up-to-date information can be found on the film’s Instagram page.

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