Living
‘This is my family’
Partners of 39 years turn new page after surviving homelessness, alcoholism
Terry Ward, 66, seated, and Bob Cyrus, 60, are celebrating this Valentine’s Day in a new home after an adventurous 39 years together. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
Terry Ward, 66, and Bob Cyrus, 60, have been a couple for 39 years and like a comedy team from old-style vaudeville, each is a straight man to the other, setting each other up for one-liners, often in politically incorrect terms.
They nudge each other with constant ribbing, affectionately but sometimes there’s also a dab of vinegar with the sugar, as when Ward calls Cyrus “a whore,” even as they each tumble into well-practiced personality pratfalls.
Each can finish the other’s sentences and their patter can be hard to follow, unless you hear the inner nuance, which always seems to turn on being each other’s eternal best friend.
Until two weeks ago, they were homeless and living in a shelter. And for years they were hopelessly alcoholic, yet still they clung to each other for love and support.
One is largely deaf, the other is blind in one eye. They are real characters, scarred by life’s twists and turns yet they’re still able to find the fun in their life together even if they have to create it themselves. Ward, blind in his right eye since a stroke last year, says, “We’re never bored — he can’t hear and I’m blind and I’ll hide his hearing aid and he’ll hide my teeth.”
And on April 1 — yes, on April Fools, for they seem to delight in having fun with every part of life — they plan to be married. But that’s only if, says Ward, Cyrus will spring for an engagement ring.
They live in a rent-subsidized apartment in Washington obtained for them by a non-profit social service agency, the U.S. Veterans Initiative (USVI), when it was discovered one of them had been a veteran — Ward served two years in the U.S. Navy mostly on a destroyer in the Mediterranean — and they had been homeless, but had shaken off alcohol and now were ready to start their lives anew.
Speaking of Emily Button, who acts as their case worker in her capacity as the Initiative’s housing director, Ward says, “She’s more than a sweetheart, she’s a jewel.”
Button stepped in and pushed through all the paperwork to make sure in late January that Ward and Cyrus could move out of Clean and Sober, a shelter and alcohol rehabilitation center located at 2nd and E Streets, N.W., where Ward had been living for 22 months and Cyrus for 17 months, and into their own, neat-as-a-pin one-bedroom apartment where their lives are now all about starting over.
Ward can reminisce with a touch of sarcasm about how they met, in 1972, when Cyrus was only 21, and fresh out of Huntington, W.Va. He’d left there after finishing high school and came to Washington to take a clerk’s job in a city post office. Cyrus was already an alcoholic — he says he began to drink, mostly screwdrivers, as young as 13, at about the time he also realized he was gay. By 15 he knew he was hooked on booze because, he says, “It made me feel good.” By 21, he says the pattern was fixed in place — binge drinking followed by frequent blackouts and memory loss.
Ward remembers the rainy Friday night he met Cyrus. Ward was coming home from his job at the Market Inn restaurant. He stopped the cab he was in when he saw Cyrus incoherent and sprawled on his bicycle tilted into a gutter near 9th and Pennsylvania Avenue where water from a rainstorm was coursing all around him. Out of concern, Ward went to offer help, but Cyrus responded only to say, “Fuck you.”
“I was mean and nasty then,” Cyrus says. He admits he sometimes still is. Ward agrees: “He’s selfish because he was the only boy in the family.”
A year later they met again when both were working at the Channel Inn restaurant. They’d remembered their earlier meeting. Cyrus says they didn’t get along. Ward was out but says, “Cyrus wouldn’t admit for years that he was a homosexual,” even though he was having sex in West Virginia when he was 13.
Born in Portsmouth, Va., in 1944, Ward never saw his mother, because she “walked out of the hospital,” he says, the day he and his twin sister were born, and she never came back. Raised by an aunt he called mom he remembers being 8 and wearing his sister’s Brownie uniform to sell cookies door to door. He’d come home and be Jane in their childhood recreations of the “Tarzan” adventures they saw at the movies.
Sexually, the two always led different lives. They were sexually adventurous and are candid with tales from their glory days.
Somehow, though, the two stuck together through many ups and maybe many more downs. Despite their hedonism and alcohol abuse, they escaped HIV.
“Almost all our friends from then are dead now,” Cyrus says.
So what made it last?
“We’re the best of friends,” Ward says. “This is family and I love him. Can’t you love someone without sex? It’s probably why we’re still together because we don’t have sex. He does his thing and I do mine.”
The couple says they were never each other’s types sexually so they never consummated their relationship. It’s common, experts say, for long-term couples to no longer have sex after many years together but is it unusual for couples to have never had sex?
“I would kind of think so myself, but they may be affectionate in other ways,” says Michael Radkowsky, a local gay psychologist who counsels gay couples. He mentions singer Margaret Whiting who married gay porn star Jack Wrangler and had a non-sexual union.
“They just said they were great companions in every other way and wanted to spend their lives together,” Radkowsky says. “So it does happen and there’s no reason to pathologize it. If they’re happy, they’re happy and it works for them.”
As for their alcoholism, Ward had more control over the addiction, always able to keep a job, while Cyrus frequently would lose his. They hit bottom, respectively, especially when they fell on hard times after Ward sold his home and then gave the money to a son he’d fathered during a two-year marriage in the mid-‘60s. It became increasingly obvious that alcohol was a problem — they sometimes spent as much as $300 a week on liquor and bought it by the case.
Now Ward says, “I’m 66 and I’ve got a new life ahead of me,” saying that they have each dropped all their old drinking friends who typically would mostly spend their time together drinking.
“When you sober up, you learn to love yourself,” Ward says.
They continue to help each other. Cyrus, who was hearing impaired at birth and heard at “about 30 percent” now, relies on his partner’s ears. In addition to his vision problems, Ward uses a cane since a fall several years ago.
“Life itself, you just have to work at it,” Ward says. He looks over fondly at Cyrus and says, “At least with this one, I know what I’ve got, he’s my caretaker now – I’ve always been his caretaker, and now it’s my turn.”
“I love him from the bottom of my heart,” Ward says. “This is my family.”
Real Estate
The rise of accidental landlords
How changing market conditions are impacting property management
Why are there more “accidental landlords” renting out their properties in the Washington, D.C., metro area?
The answer, according to The New York Times and other sources, is the current state of the real estate market. A growing number of accidental landlords are emerging as homeowners rethink their options in a challenging sales market. Rather than accept lower offers than they feel their properties deserve, many are choosing to rent instead of sell.
This shift reflects both financial caution and changing market dynamics, where holding onto an asset and generating rental income can seem more appealing than locking in a perceived loss.
A Market in Transition
The D.C. housing market remains fundamentally strong, but it has clearly shifted from the frenzied seller’s market of prior years. Inventory has increased significantly, and according to Redfin, active home listings in the Washington, D.C., metro area have increased significantly, with reports indicating a rise of roughly 33% to 50% year-over-year in late 2025 and early 2026.
This surge in inventory, coupled with falling demand, has shifted the market in favor of buyers, with roughly 22% more homes for sale than interested buyers. At the same time, homes are taking longer to sell. Buyers are still active, but they’re more selective, more price-sensitive, and less likely to engage in bidding wars.
This combination of rising inventory and longer selling timelines has created a key tension: sellers are no longer guaranteed the price they want. What’s a homeowner to do? Rent.
Why Homeowners Are Choosing to Rent
Rather than reduce their asking price, many homeowners are choosing to hold onto their properties and rent them out. National data confirms this shift. According to a report from Zillow, the share of rental listings made up of homes that failed to sell has climbed to near-record levels, with these accidental landlords accounting for a growing portion of rental supply. The number of these homeowners nationwide is at a three-year high.
The underlying psychology is simple: most sellers are not under immediate pressure to sell. And instead of accepting what they perceive as a discounted price, they opt to generate rental income and wait for more favorable market conditions.
For many homeowners, renting offers a way to “pause” the sales process without exiting the market entirely.
The Ripple Effect on the Rental Market
This influx of accidental landlords is reshaping the rental landscape. And this could be you!
- This trend is increasing rental supply. When unsold homes are converted into rentals, they add inventory to a market that has already seen new apartment deliveries and multifamily expansion. This is one reason rent growth has cooled in recent months, with national increases slowing to modest levels.
- Additionally, it is changing the type of available rental housing. Accidental landlords are more likely to offer single-family homes, townhouses, or condos; properties that differ from traditional apartment stock. Zillow notes that single-family homes make up the largest share of these rentals now.
For renters in D.C., this means more choices, particularly in neighborhoods where rental inventory was previously limited.
Operational Challenges for Accidental Landlords
While renting may seem like a straightforward fallback strategy, many accidental landlords quickly discover that property management is a complex, operationally intensive business. Some of the most common challenges include:
- Tenant screening and leasing compliance. D.C. has robust tenant protections and rent control regulations, particularly for older multifamily buildings. One wrong step can create legal complications home owners are not prepared for.
- Maintenance and repairs. Deferred maintenance can quickly erode profitability and tenant satisfaction. And tenants do have the power to cut into your monthly profit when certain livability standards are not met.
- Cash flow management. Not all rental income covers mortgage payments, especially for owners with higher interest rates.
- Regulatory compliance. Licensing, inspections, and rent stabilization rules can create administrative burdens.
In short, many homeowners underestimate the complexity involved in the transition from owner-occupant to landlord. What begins as a temporary strategy can evolve into a long-term operational commitment.
Property Management Firms Are Stepping In
As a result, property management companies across the D.C. metro area are seeing increased demand, particularly from first-time landlords. These owners often lack the infrastructure, systems, and expertise required to manage a rental property effectively. Professional management firms provide an array of solutions including marketing and leasing services, tenant screening and placement, rent collection and financial reporting, maintenance coordination, and compliance with D.C.’s evolving regulatory environment. For accidental landlords, outsourcing these functions can turn a reactive decision into a more structured investment strategy.
Green Renting: A Strategic Advantage in D.C.’s Rental Market
One often overlooked opportunity for accidental landlords—especially in Washington, D.C.—is the growing demand for “green renting.”
Energy efficiency is no longer just a lifestyle preference. For many renters, particularly in a high-cost city like D.C., it is a financial decision. Utility costs in the District can be significant, especially during peak summer and winter months. Properties that offer lower monthly energy expenses immediately stand out in a competitive rental market.
Installing solar panels, where feasible, can meaningfully reduce or even offset tenant electricity costs. For renters comparing similar properties, the difference between a standard utility bill and a reduced or stabilized energy cost can be a deciding factor. This is particularly true in D.C., where tenants are often highly-informed, environmentally-conscious, and sensitive to total monthly living expenses, not just base rent.
For landlords, the benefits extend beyond tenant appeal. Solar installations can help reduce vacancy, support longer lease terms, and create a premium perception that differentiates a property from competing listings. In some cases, landlords may also benefit from local incentives, tax credits, or increased property value tied to energy improvements.
In a market where many accidental landlords are competing on similar housing stock—single-family homes, condos, and townhouses—energy efficiency can become a key differentiator. It is not just about sustainability; it is about positioning a property to perform better financially.
A Local Market With Unique Dynamics
Washington, D.C., is a housing market shaped by federal employment, policy changes, and macroeconomic uncertainty. Recent developments, including fluctuations in the federal workforce and return-to-office mandates, have influenced both housing supply and demand. In some cases, these shifts have contributed to increased listings and more cautious buyer behavior. At the same time, D.C.’s high cost of entry continues to support rental demand. This dual dynamic creates ideal conditions for the rise of accidental landlords. Are you ready for this seismic shift?
Scott Bloom is owner and Senior Property Manager of Columbia Property Management.
Michael,
I’m 34, and after being on the dating scene for about 12 years, I’m coming to the conclusion that I don’t want to be in a relationship.
I don’t love hanging out with the same person over and over again. I don’t feel all gooey when I’ve been with someone for a while. I run out of things to say, and also, it just gets boring.
I like my space. I don’t like having to share the bathroom or have someone next to me all night, especially when they want to go to sleep holding me. I know that sounds like heaven to a lot of people but it just feels intrusive to me.
It’s a pain to have to compromise what I want to do. When I want to go someplace on vacation, or try a restaurant, or get up early to go to the gym, or sleep in, I don’t want to have to run that by someone else and get their OK. Life’s short. I want to do what I want to do.
I feel like we are constantly bombarded with the message to date and find a mate, but I don’t really see the point. I don’t think I’m an introvert—I have a lot of friends—but I also like to spend time by myself and not be accountable to anyone.
When I think about marriage, it seems like a very old-fashioned concept, developed for straight people who want to have children. Historically you needed one person to work and another one to stay home and raise the kids. And you needed to stay together to give your kids two parents and a stable home. I get that.
But if I’m not having kids, what’s the point? I don’t need a husband to have sex. I can and do hook up all the time. It’s so easy to find someone online. And I get to have a lot more variety when I’m single than when I’m dating. Even though my relationships are always open, when I am dating someone, I always hook up a lot less, because I have to worry about the boyfriend’s feelings being hurt if I hook up “too much.”
I know I sound unromantic and maybe selfish but this is how I see it.
My friends are all about having a boyfriend. They think I’m being ridiculous. Can I get another opinion?
Michael replies:
You make great points. Relationships do require us to give up some of our independence. They can feel stifling at times. And when the excitement of a new partner fades, things will at times feel “boring” in all sorts of ways, including sex. You can choose to avoid all of this by remaining single.
But relationships also give us tremendous overlapping opportunities to grow, including:
Being pushed to develop a clear sense of self: When we must constantly decide what we are willing to do or not do as part of a couple; and when our partner inevitably and frequently has interests, values, and priorities that conflict with ours, then we are challenged, over and over, to decide what is most important to us and how we want to live our lives.
Frequent opportunities to build resilience: All those old issues from our past that get us upset or riled up? We have to work through them so that we can stay (pretty) calm rather than losing our minds when our buttons are pressed.
Improving our ability to have hard conversations – and without rancor: Unless we’re able to disagree, speak up, or confront when it’s important to do so, we are going to twist ourselves into a pretzel striving to accommodate the other person. And being able to engage in tough talks in a loving way is necessary if we want to have a loving relationship.
Becoming a more generous person: You wrote that you like to have things your way. But part of life, whether or not we are partnered, involves being thoughtful, considerate, and willing to put someone else first at times. Great relationships require us to do all of these things regularly—and many of us find that contributing to the happiness of someone we care about can increase our own happiness.
Besides these ongoing challenges, relationships give us the experience of someone knowing us deeply, and knowing someone deeply. There can be great comfort in going through life with someone with whom we have this intimate connection, along with ongoing shared experiences of trust, support, comfort, and love. Long-term companionship is also an adventure: Can we keep the relationship vibrant and fun as we both keep changing over time?
If you choose to remain single: Many people play their friendships on the easy setting, keeping things pleasant, on-the-surface, and non-confrontational; and cutting people off when things aren’t going well. Hanging in there to deal with the rough stuff can lead to deeper, longer friendships, and plenty of personal growth.
I do have a question for you: I am curious what sort of relationships you saw growing up, and what your own relationship experiences have been.
Intimate relationships aren’t for everyone, and you get to decide what is right for you. But if your negative view of relationships is influenced by having witnessed or experienced intrusive or just plain awful relationships, maybe you want to do some work (therapy, for example) to heal from this stuff, rather than letting your past limit your future. A healthy relationship means being part of a couple while also remaining a vibrant individual, not being stifled, bored, and losing your independence.
(Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C., Maryland, Virginia, and New York. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].)
Autos
Wagons ho! High-class, head-turning haulers
Automakers still offer a few good traditional station wagons
As a teenager, one of the first cars I drove — and fell in love with — was our family’s hulking full-size wagon. It stretched over 19 feet in length and weighed a whopping 5,300 pounds. That’s three feet longer and 1,000 heavier than, say, a Ford Explorer today.
But this Leviathan felt safe and practical, especially when tootling around town with my crew or traveling solo cross-country. Of course, this hauler was also an eco-disaster.
Luckily, that’s not the case today. And even though the number of traditional station wagons keeps shrinking, automakers are still offering a few gems.
VOLVO V60 CROSS COUNTRY
$54,000
MPG: 23 city/31 highway
0 to 60 mph: 6.6 seconds
Cargo space: 51 cu. ft. (rear seats folded)
PROS: Elegant design. Composed handling. Top safety features.
CONS: So-so power. Modest rear legroom. Only two trim levels.
The 2026 Volvo V60 Cross Country doesn’t cry for attention — and that’s the point. This is the automotive equivalent of Kristen Stewart, a celebrity who’s confident in her own skin and sees no need to post about it.
Under the hood, there’s a four-cylinder turbo engine paired with a mild-hybrid system, producing 247 horsepower. You won’t outrun other drivers, but there is a sense of calm authority when accelerating. The standard all-wheel drive and 8.1 inches of ground clearance mean this wagon is ready for dirt roads, bad weather or a spontaneous weekend jaunt.
And inside? Scandinavian minimalism at its finest. Clean lines. Gorgeous materials. Google-based infotainment that mostly works — though occasionally the system could be a bit faster, at least for my taste. The ride is smooth, composed and quiet, even if acceleration feels more “measured sip” than “espresso shot.”
But here’s the twist: After more than a decade, this is the final Volvo wagon in the U.S. Its farewell tour ends in 2026. That alone gives it collector-car status.
MERCEDES-AMG E53 WAGON
$95,000
MPG: 21 city/25 highway
0 to 60 mph: 3.4 seconds
Cargo space: 64.6 cu. ft. (rear seats folded)
PROS: Supercar vibe. Hybrid versatility. Stunning interior.
CONS: Some fussy controls. Can feel heavy when cornering.
If the Volvo V60 Cross Country is subtle, the 2026 Mercedes-AMG E53 Wagon is a screamer. It’s like being at a Lil Nas X concert: flashy, high energy, and full of shock and awe.
This performance wagon — a plug-in hybrid, no less — pushes well over 500 horsepower (and in some configurations over 600 horsepower), launching from 0 to 60 mph as fast as a $300,000 Aston Martin supercar.
Yes, deep down, this is still a wagon. But you also can do a Costco run in something that could embarrass sports cars at a stoplight. That duality is delicious.
Inside, Mercedes leans all the way in. The high-tech Superscreen setup stretches across the dash. Ambient lighting glows like a curated art installation. The 4D surround-sound audio literally pulses through the seats. It’s immersive. Borderline excessive. And entirely the point.
Rear-axle steering helps mask the size of this car, but there’s no hiding the weight — it’s a big, powerful machine. Still, this hauler handles far better than physics suggests it should.
PORSCHE TAYCAN CROSS TURISMO
$121,000
Range: 265 miles
0 to 60 mph: 2.8 seconds
Cargo space: 41 cu. ft. (rear seats folded)
PROS: Lightning fast. Space-age design. EV smoothness.
CONS: Very pricey. Options add up quickly. Limited rear visibility.
The Porsche Taycan Cross Turismo completely rewrites the wagon formula. Fully electric. Shockingly fast. Designed like it belongs in the Louvre.
Performance is instant. Depending on trim level, you’re looking at 0-to-60 mph in less than 3 seconds. No exuberant engine noise — just that smooth, purring EV surge.
Handling? Pure Porsche. Low center of gravity thanks to the battery-pack placement. Precision that makes winding roads feel like choreography. And then — hello — there’s also a Gravel Mode for light off-road use.
Inside, the style is restrained but high-tech. Digital displays dominate, including a 10.3-inch passenger side touchscreen. Yet the layout feels intentional rather than overwhelming. Build quality is exceptional. Options, including leather-free materials and an active-leveling system for hard cornering, are endless — and expensive.
Range varies by model. But as with any EV, your lifestyle (and charging access) matters.
Overall, this is a wagon that looks and behaves like one helluva class act.
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