As a child born in Maryland in the 80’s, I had very few LGBTQ+ role models other than Elton John and Ellen DeGeneres. In high school, I went through the motions of going out on Friday nights with boyfriends and dancing with them at prom, but I felt nothing. I desperately wanted to fit in, and it took me until my senior year of high school to finally admit to myself that I was different – and that it hurt too much to hide it anymore. 

When I think back on those years, I feel the heartache and pain all over again. I used to lay awake at night begging God not to make me gay. When a boy on my Cross Country team accused me and my friends of being lesbians, I scoffed and said, “You wish.” I hid my true self in cheap wine coolers while my hate for myself festered. 

I found healing in books, my creative writing class, and my school’s literary magazine. Writing allowed me to hold up a mirror to myself and see that I could be many things: a loving daughter and sister, a supportive friend, a dedicated member of the Cross Country team, and also a girl who wanted a girlfriend. In my love poems, I evolved from ambiguous pronouns to distinctly feminine ones. When I felt ready to tell my best friend, I showed her one of my poems. To my surprise, the world did not end. She smiled and said, “It’s a good poem. Are you ready to go to the mall?” 

I’m one of the lucky ones. When I finally did come out to my parents, they told me they would always love me and want me to be happy. That’s not the case for more than 40% of LGBTQ+ youth, who are kicked out of their homes after they find the courage to tell their family who they truly are. We are facing a mental health epidemic among LGBTQ+ youth, with 41% seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year, the vast majority living in homes that aren’t accepting. 

Some of the dissenting parents in Mahmoud vs. Taylor argue that inclusive books aren’t appropriate for elementary school kids. To clarify, these books are simply available in schools – they aren’t required reading for anyone. There is nothing sexual or provocative about stories like “Uncle Bobby’s Wedding” or “Jacob’s Room to Choose” that send a very simple, non-political message: We all are different, and we all deserve to be treated with respect. Opting out of books that show diversity, out of fear that it might “make kids gay” fails to recognize a fundamental truth: art, pop culture, even vegan food cannot make someone gay. I was born this way. There were times I wished that I wasn’t, and that was because I didn’t have books like these telling me it was OK to be who I am. 

I wonder how many parents opting out of these books will end up having a LGBTQ+ child. It is both horrible and true that these parents have two choices: love and accept your LGBTQ+ child, or risk losing them. Now that I’m a parent myself, I feel more than ever that our one aim in parenthood is to love our kids for exactly who they are, not who we want them to be. 

For several years, a grocery store in Silver Spring, Md., displayed a poem I wrote for my mother in my school’s literary magazine. I wrote about how she taught me that red and blue popples can play together, and that Barbie doesn’t need Ken to be happy. I imagine that maybe, a girl passing through the store read that poem and saw a glimpse of herself inside. That spark of recognition – of I’m not the only one – is all I wanted as a child. I was able to find my happiness and my community, and I want every LGBTQ+ child to be able to do the same. 

Joanna Hoffman was born and raised in Silver Spring, Md. She is the author of the poetry collection ‘Running for Trap Doors’ (Sibling Rivalry Press) and is the communications director for LPAC, the nation’s only organization dedicated to advancing the political representation of LGBTQ+ women and nonbinary candidates. 

Promethean Fundraising will host “Circuit Music: A LGBTQ+ Cultural Identifier,” an exclusive panel featuring influential LGBTQ DJs in the music industry, on Thursday, May 29 at 7 p.m. at the DC Center for the LGBTQ Community (1828 Wiltberher St., N.W.). 

The event will provide a unique opportunity for attendees to engage with these groundbreaking artists as they share their journeys, discuss the cultural significance of circuit music, and explore how music can serve as a platform for advocacy and empowerment within the LGBTQ+ community. The featured artists are DJ Chord, Tezrah and Jake Maxwell. 

This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Friday, May 9

“Center Aging Friday Tea Time” will be at 12 p.m. on Zoom. For more details, email [email protected]. 

Women in Their Twenties and Thirties will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a social discussion group for queer women in the Washington D.C. area. For more details, visit the group’s closed Facebook group. 

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Happy Hour” at 7 p.m. at Puro Gusto. This event is ideal for making new friends, professional networking, idea-sharing, and community building. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite. 

Saturday, May 10

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including Allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

“Sapphic Social: Zodiac Mixer” will be at 8 p.m. at Spark Social House. Spark connections with fellow sapphics based on your zodiac sign and gain personal insights with a birth chart reading. Tickets cost $10 and are available on Eventbrite. 

Sunday, May 11

“The Ultimate Mother’s Day Drag Brunch” will be at 11 a.m. at Throw Social. This event will be hosted by Cake Pop. For more details visit Eventbrite. 

Monday, May 12

“Center Aging Monday Coffee & Conversation” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more details, email [email protected]. 

Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary. Whether you’re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know you’re not 100% cis — this is your group. For more details, visit genderqueerdc.org or Facebook. 

Tuesday, May 13

Trans Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This group is an emotionally and physically safe space for trans individuals and those who may be questioning their gender identity/expression to join together in community and learn from one another. For more information, email [email protected].

Coming Out Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This support group is a safe space to share experiences about coming out and discuss topics as it relates to doing so. For more details, visit the group’s Facebook page. 

Wednesday, May 14

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.

Thursday, May 15

Virtual Yoga with Charles M. will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a free weekly class focusing on yoga, breath work, and meditation. For more details, visit the DC Center for the LGBT Community’s website.

Poly Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a virtual safe space to talk about all things polyamorous. For more details, email [email protected]. 

Lit Lovers: Book Club for Seniors will be at 2 p.m. on Zoom. This month’s selection is “A Boy’s Own Story” by Edmund White. To RSVP, visit the DC Center’s website.