Dear Michael,

I’m a 64-year-old single gay man and I hate my life.

I’ve never had a relationship that lasted more than a few months. I can’t say why. I don’t think I’m defective. I wasn’t unattractive when I was younger (still not bad looking), I think I’m an interesting person to spend time with, but everything always seemed to fizzle out. 

Thankfully, I missed AIDS because I came out after people knew what to do. Sometimes I wonder if fear of contracting the virus metastasized into a fear of getting close. I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve consciously kept people away. Consciously I have wanted someone to share my life with, very much.

With my 65th birthday and official senior citizen status approaching, I’ve been taking stock of my life and am coming to the hard realization that I’m never going to find that elusive partner.

I don’t go out anymore because people look right through me, except the ones who have a fetish for older guys. No one’s actually interested in me as me, a unique person rather than what they see on the surface.

I’m tired of my coupled friends. They’re always talking about “we.” Yes, I have become resentful that they have what I want and will never get.  I know that’s not admirable but it’s how I feel, secretly, and I am sick of feeling like this when I am around them. So why be around them?

And I’m tired of my friends who are focused on sex all the time. It just all feels like a waste of time. I don’t get anything from a hookup anymore, they’ve been feeling increasingly meaningless. I feel like I’m someone’s momentary opportunity to get off, rather than any kind of real connection. 

I’m just sick of the whole chase I’ve been doing for the last 40+ years.

I’m realizing that the whole thing has been pointless, a quest for a partner who is never going to materialize and a lot of diversions along the way that have added up to a despairing feeling that I’ve wasted my life trying to get something that will never happen.

Gay life hasn’t been so gay for me. And I’m officially old, maybe even nearing the finish line. Yes, if you haven’t noticed, I’m getting bitter.

What do I do with this dead end?

Michael replies:

How about looking for a different road to go down?

I’m not going to challenge your belief that you aren’t going to find a partner. I think it’s possible that you could, because there are other guys out there, in your age range, who are looking. But you have no guarantee, especially if you have decided to take it off the table.

So what else can you do with your life? How can you make your remaining time on this earth well-lived?

From your letter, it’s clear what you don’t want to do: Look for a boyfriend, hook up, or spend time with your current friends. Surely there must be more possibilities for your life than those options.

So my advice is to figure out some things you care about and start doing them. Travel? Volunteering? Getting a companion animal? Taking classes? Finding a new career? Those are just a few of the ideas I can come up with, but I don’t know you. What ideas can you generate, that you suspect you’d like to pursue?

In other words, start putting one foot in front of the other and go in some new directions that intrigue you enough to explore.

Sitting around feeling miserable does not help you to get anywhere. It keeps you feeling miserable. Sitting around waiting to feel better does not lead you to feel better. What would help you get to a better place would be to start taking action on your own behalf. Always keep in mind that while you are alive, with your faculties intact, you do have the choice to take this step, over and over and over again.

If you give yourself something (or some things) worthwhile to put your focus on, and do your best to shift your focus there whenever you notice that you are lamenting, I’m hopeful you will create a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

I’m also hopeful that if you are spending time doing things that you actually enjoy and that enrich your life, you may find more satisfying companionship than you are experiencing with your current friend group. (And yes, this could include a romantic relationship if you decide to be open to this possibility.)

A brief reply in an advice column can point you in the right direction, but it is likely not enough to sustain and motivate you through a major life overhaul.

Therefore, I suggest that you find a therapist to help you figure out how to move forward and what to move toward; and also to grieve, and put to rest as best you can, the loss of the life you hoped you would have. 

I know that transcending the loss of a huge lifelong dream may seem impossible. But working toward this, as best you are able, would help you.

Relatedly, one more thing that I hope you can address with a therapist is your bitterness.  I do understand why you feel so bitter, and I also think that it is torquing your life in a downhill direction.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C., Maryland, Virginia, and New York. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].

Let’s set the scene, darlings. It’s a scorching July Saturday. You’ve got a trunk full of rosé, a playlist that slaps harder than a “RuPaul’s Drag Race” elimination, and a group chat blowing up with your people en route to Rehoboth Beach — the Delaware beach town that has been the LGBTQ community’s summer headquarters for decades. Sun, sand, Poodle Beach, drag shows, and the kind of easy, breezy freedom that only comes from being surrounded by your tribe.

Now imagine pulling up to a “FOR SALE” sign on that charming two-bedroom cottage two blocks from the boardwalk — the one you’ve been eyeing for years — and seeing the price tag: $1.97 million. Honey, put the rosé down. We need to talk.

Nation’s Summer Capital Has a Spending Problem

Rehoboth Beach has long worn the nickname “The Nation’s Summer Capital” like a crown, owing to the annual migration of Washingtonians — and increasingly, Philadelphians and New Yorkers — who descend on its 27 miles of Atlantic coastline every summer. For the LGBTQ community in particular, Rehoboth has never been just a beach town. It has been a sanctuary, a second home, a place where you can hold your partner’s hand on the boardwalk without a second thought. But the real estate market? She is not reading the room.

According to Redfin data, the median sale price of a home in Rehoboth Beach recently hit $1.96 million — a jaw-dropping 106% increase year over year, and a figure that sits 127% above the national median. The price per square foot has climbed to $1,160, up nearly 27% in the same period.  Gag.

So Who IS Buying Right Now?

Let’s not be dramatic — people are still buying in Rehoboth. They’re just a specific kind of people. According to neighborhood data, the per capita income in Rehoboth Beach runs around $118,239, equating to a household income of nearly $473,000 for a family of four. About a third of the workforce telecommutes, many in high-earning, white-collar professions. And more than 68% of residents hold a college degree, compared to a national average of under 22%.

If you want to buy a median-priced home in Rehoboth today with a standard 25% down payment, you’d need to bring nearly half a million dollars to closing — and then cover about $4,000 a month in ongoing expenses.

Still, the market isn’t quite the frenzy it was at peak pandemic frenzy. Homes are sitting on the market for an average of 88 days as of early 2026 — up significantly from the frantic bidding wars of a few years ago, when a listing might vanish before you could refresh Zillow a second time. Sellers are (slowly) getting the memo that buyers have limits.

Have Your Beach House (and Airbnb It, Too)

Many LGBTQ buyers have discovered a savvy workaround to Rehoboth’s sticker shock: buy a property, rent it during peak season, and let your summer visitors essentially pay your mortgage.

The numbers surprisingly support this strategy. The Rehoboth Beach short-term rental market currently has around 928 active listings, with hosts averaging $400 per night and annual revenues of approximately $39,689. The busiest month, predictably, is July — when guests book an average of 96 days in advance (so yes, those summer reservations your friends keep missing out on are being snapped up in April).

The key is making your property stand out in a crowded market. Properties accommodating eight or more guests dominate the Rehoboth STR market (nearly half of all listings), so that five-bedroom house with a game room suddenly starts to look like a business plan. At the same time – keep in mind that location, location, location honey – that is also so valuable. Even a two-bedroom condo close to the beach will also rent favorably well and get those numbers needed to make the most sense to your pockets.

This method allows you to have a second home, enjoy it, have friends enjoy it, and also helps recoup some of the overhead so the overhead and increase in overall purchase price is a bit more manageable.

What It All Means for Our Community

Rehoboth has always been more than real estate. It is one of the few places on the East Coast where LGBTQ people have, for decades, built an actual physical community — businesses, organizations, gathering spaces, neighborhoods — not just a social scene. CAMP Rehoboth, Poodle Beach, the Blue Moon (which, after some drama, was recently sold to new owners who pledged to keep it a queer-affirming space — phew), and countless gay-owned restaurants and shops form an ecosystem that attracts our community every summer precisely because the roots run deep.

But ecosystems require people — year-round residents, small business owners, artists, service workers — not just wealthy second-home owners. When prices rise to the degree they have in Rehoboth, the people who sustain that community can no longer afford to stay. It’s a pattern playing out in LGBTQ neighborhoods from San Francisco’s Castro to New York’s Chelsea, and it’s worth watching closely here.

The good news? Rehoboth remains more accessible than many comparable queer beach destinations. Provincetown, Mass. — the other iconic LGBTQ beach town on the Eastern seaboard — regularly sees median home prices north of $1.5 million with far less inventory and a significantly smaller footprint.

And Delaware’s tax structure does the community a quiet but important favor: no state sales tax, among the lowest property tax rates in the country, and relatively favorable income tax treatment for retirees. These aren’t glamorous talking points, but they matter when you’re running the numbers on whether your beach house dream can actually pencil out.

The Bottom Line, Babe

Can our community still afford Rehoboth? The honest answer is: it depends on what you mean by Rehoboth.

If you mean a single-family home within walking distance of Poodle Beach with an ocean view and a wraparound porch — prepare to spend north of $1.5 million, need a household income pushing six figures annually, and move fast when something comes to market.

If you mean a condo or townhome in the greater Rehoboth area – or a property you plan to rent out in peak season to offset costs — there are still real pathways in.

And if you mean belonging to a community, showing up every summer, taking up space on that beach, supporting LGBTQ-owned businesses, and making sure Rehoboth’s queer identity doesn’t get washed away by the luxury market tide — well, that part doesn’t have a price tag.

It just requires showing up. So pack the car. Bring the rosé. The beach is still ours.

Have a real estate question or Rehoboth market tip? Reach out to [email protected] for LGBTQ-friendly real estate resources in the Rehoboth area.

Why are there more “accidental landlords” renting out their properties in the Washington, D.C., metro area? 

The answer, according to The New York Times and other sources, is the current state of the real estate market. A growing number of accidental landlords are emerging as homeowners rethink their options in a challenging sales market. Rather than accept lower offers than they feel their properties deserve, many are choosing to rent instead of sell. 

This shift reflects both financial caution and changing market dynamics, where holding onto an asset and generating rental income can seem more appealing than locking in a perceived loss.

A Market in Transition

The D.C. housing market remains fundamentally strong, but it has clearly shifted from the frenzied seller’s market of prior years. Inventory has increased significantly, and according to Redfin, active home listings in the Washington, D.C., metro area have increased significantly, with reports indicating a rise of roughly 33% to 50% year-over-year in late 2025 and early 2026. 

This surge in inventory, coupled with falling demand, has shifted the market in favor of buyers, with roughly 22% more homes for sale than interested buyers. At the same time, homes are taking longer to sell. Buyers are still active, but they’re more selective, more price-sensitive, and less likely to engage in bidding wars.

This combination of rising inventory and longer selling timelines has created a key tension: sellers are no longer guaranteed the price they want. What’s a homeowner to do? Rent.

Why Homeowners Are Choosing to Rent

Rather than reduce their asking price, many homeowners are choosing to hold onto their properties and rent them out. National data confirms this shift. According to a report from Zillow, the share of rental listings made up of homes that failed to sell has climbed to near-record levels, with these accidental landlords accounting for a growing portion of rental supply. The number of these homeowners nationwide is at a three-year high.

The underlying psychology is simple: most sellers are not under immediate pressure to sell. And instead of accepting what they perceive as a discounted price, they opt to generate rental income and wait for more favorable market conditions.

For many homeowners, renting offers a way to “pause” the sales process without exiting the market entirely.

The Ripple Effect on the Rental Market

This influx of accidental landlords is reshaping the rental landscape. And this could be you!

1. This trend is increasing rental supply. When unsold homes are converted into rentals, they add inventory to a market that has already seen new apartment deliveries and multifamily expansion. This is one reason rent growth has cooled in recent months, with national increases slowing to modest levels. 

1. Additionally, it is changing the type of available rental housing. Accidental landlords are more likely to offer single-family homes, townhouses, or condos; properties that differ from traditional apartment stock. Zillow notes that single-family homes make up the largest share of these rentals now.

For renters in D.C., this means more choices, particularly in neighborhoods where rental inventory was previously limited.

Operational Challenges for Accidental Landlords

While renting may seem like a straightforward fallback strategy, many accidental landlords quickly discover that property management is a complex, operationally intensive business. Some of the most common challenges include:

• Tenant screening and leasing compliance. D.C. has robust tenant protections and rent control regulations, particularly for older multifamily buildings. One wrong step can create legal complications home owners are not prepared for.
• Maintenance and repairs. Deferred maintenance can quickly erode profitability and tenant satisfaction. And tenants do have the power to cut into your monthly profit when certain livability standards are not met.
• Cash flow management. Not all rental income covers mortgage payments, especially for owners with higher interest rates. 
• Regulatory compliance. Licensing, inspections, and rent stabilization rules can create administrative burdens.

In short, many homeowners underestimate the complexity involved in the transition from owner-occupant to landlord. What begins as a temporary strategy can evolve into a long-term operational commitment.

Property Management Firms Are Stepping In

As a result, property management companies across the D.C. metro area are seeing increased demand, particularly from first-time landlords. These owners often lack the infrastructure, systems, and expertise required to manage a rental property effectively. Professional management firms provide an array of solutions including marketing and leasing services, tenant screening and placement, rent collection and financial reporting, maintenance coordination, and compliance with D.C.’s evolving regulatory environment. For accidental landlords, outsourcing these functions can turn a reactive decision into a more structured investment strategy.

Green Renting: A Strategic Advantage in D.C.’s Rental Market

One often overlooked opportunity for accidental landlords—especially in Washington, D.C.—is the growing demand for “green renting.”

Energy efficiency is no longer just a lifestyle preference. For many renters, particularly in a high-cost city like D.C., it is a financial decision. Utility costs in the District can be significant, especially during peak summer and winter months. Properties that offer lower monthly energy expenses immediately stand out in a competitive rental market.

Installing solar panels, where feasible, can meaningfully reduce or even offset tenant electricity costs. For renters comparing similar properties, the difference between a standard utility bill and a reduced or stabilized energy cost can be a deciding factor. This is particularly true in D.C., where tenants are often highly-informed, environmentally-conscious, and sensitive to total monthly living expenses, not just base rent.

For landlords, the benefits extend beyond tenant appeal. Solar installations can help reduce vacancy, support longer lease terms, and create a premium perception that differentiates a property from competing listings. In some cases, landlords may also benefit from local incentives, tax credits, or increased property value tied to energy improvements.

In a market where many accidental landlords are competing on similar housing stock—single-family homes, condos, and townhouses—energy efficiency can become a key differentiator. It is not just about sustainability; it is about positioning a property to perform better financially.

A Local Market With Unique Dynamics

Washington, D.C., is a housing market shaped by federal employment, policy changes, and macroeconomic uncertainty. Recent developments, including fluctuations in the federal workforce and return-to-office mandates, have influenced both housing supply and demand. In some cases, these shifts have contributed to increased listings and more cautious buyer behavior. At the same time, D.C.’s high cost of entry continues to support rental demand. This dual dynamic creates ideal conditions for the rise of accidental landlords. Are you ready for this seismic shift? 

Scott Bloom is owner and Senior Property Manager of Columbia Property Management.