Living
Creating new traditions
Fox 5’s Roby Chavez and partner Chris Roe to marry after navigating the wedding planning process


Roby Chavez and his partner Chris Roe meet with their wedding planner and caterer at the Woodrow Wilson House in Washington on Aug. 6. They're getting married there this weekend. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
When Washingtonians Roby Chavez and Chris Roe decided to get married in December, there was no hesitation. Figuring out how to go about it, though, required months of thought and planning.
“This has been a bit of a struggle throughout the whole process,” said Chavez, 46, a reporter for Fox 5 news. “How much of the tradition do you jump on and how much of your own do you make up because as a gay community this is also new, so we don’t really know what a tradition is for us. So we’ve been kind of trying to figure out what other people might want to duplicate, what things are individual for us.”
Even basics like engagement rings, required thought. Roe, 45, didn’t get one before he proposed the night same-sex marriage was legalized in the District in December. He popped the question just before Chavez was due on the air covering the story for Fox.
“I’d been watching the news and the whole community, well, at least the whole gay community, was really amped,” Roe says. “I just felt the spirit and said this is what I’m gonna do. The ring came later.”
As a lark, the two got large, gaudy costume rings — Roe’s green, Chavez’s yellow — for a few weeks before picking out their wedding bands last weekend.
The two met at a Memorial Day party through mutual friends in 2005. Roe is from a family of farmers and teachers in Monticello, Wis., but had been in the San Francisco area for about 10 years. He eventually accepted a position working in education policy for the non-profit Business High Education Forum.
Chavez, born in Denver but raised mostly in Matthews, La., ended up in Washington “as a fluke” after stints in TV journalism in Atlanta, New York and Dallas.
They say it was love at first sight though they didn’t immediately start dating.
“I told him when I first met him, ‘You’re the one,'” Chavez says. “I don’t know, there was just something about him. They say you know. And it’s not really my style to do that. I’m not the kind of person who will confess my love automatically but I did. There was just a genuine sense of his being and I liked that. I just remember a nice hug he gave me and it was good.”
Roe says he felt the same.
“I thought it was unusual but I felt very similarly. I just tend to be more reserved and more shy than he is. I was freaked out a little but I also felt that connection as well.”
The couple was affectionate during a break in wedding planning at the Wilson House two weeks ago. Sitting at a makeshift table in the dining room so as not to sully the antique-filled home of the former president, Chavez and Roe sit close. They’re both trim and well dressed. They look at each other and giggle at the most innocuous questions.
“We started out thinking intimate and small but then we realized our lives aren’t that small,” Chavez says. “Just with our immediate family and friends, we got to about 200 people just in that. So it’s a little bigger.”
They’re planning an outdoor ceremony on the Wilson House grounds. Rev. Dwayne Johnson, pastor of Metropolitan Community Church of Washington where Chavez sometimes attends, will officiate. Their nieces and nephews will wave rainbow ribbons and a surprise entertainer will perform while two “best couples,” gay couples who have been friends of the two for years, will stand with them as they take their vows wearing matching Calvin Klein tuxes. A honeymoon trip to Greece will follow.
Rob Clemenz has known Chavez since they were in college together. He and his partner, Rick DuPlantier, are in the wedding party.
“When I first laid eyes on Chris, I knew he was perfect for Roby,” Clemenz says. “I know this really means the world for Roby so it’s very poignant and it’s just a special thing. I never ever dreamed that we would come this far and something like this would be in our lifetimes. I’m beyond happy standing there for their wedding. It’s just wonderful.”
Chavez says he didn’t call Roe immediately after meeting him because, despite the strong initial connection, dating wasn’t on his radar. He’d been career focused for many years but finally decided to take some time off for dating.
“I had three phone numbers,” Chavez says. “He was the second date. I never made it to the third.”
They live together at 12th and U streets, N.W., and make time for each other, despite disparate work schedules — Roe works days, Chavez nights. Roe waits up for Chavez every night until he gets home around midnight. Chavez promised Roe if he moved in with him — farther from his job than he’d been — he’d give him a lift to work each day, a promise he’s kept.
So what makes it work? Chavez calls it “the brake and the pedal.”
“I’m kind of all over the place and moving very quickly,” he says. “He’s very methodical and thoughtful. When I’m going too fast, he puts the brakes on and when he’s not going fast enough, I kind of push him along. We’ve just kind of learned how to connect.”
They also say the small-town values they grew up with are complementary. And they get a kick out of hearing a pop song from the ’80s and realizing they both know the lyrics.
There’s only the slightest acknowledgment of occasional friction during a 40-minute interview. They read together at night and on the way to work. Chavez mentions a couple relationship books they’ve used to help through occasional “issues in the relationship.”
“Ultimately we just talk,” he says. “We talk a lot. We have 30 minutes here or there or at night, we talk.”
Chavez says the marriage gives him a chance to turn the tables on his viewers. Getty Images photographers have followed them through the planning process.
“I knock on people’s doors all the time,” he says. “Tell me your happiness, tell me your sadness, tell me what’s going on in your life. I should be able to share with the same openness. Plus we don’t see a lot of people talking about gay marriage. I just thought I’m not gonna miss a chance to let them hear my story. It would be easier, actually, to just do it privately, but I feel I have a responsibility.”
The chance to play it big and include extended family, who have been supportive, they say, was strategic in a way.
“They’re the people who’ll have to vote the next time it comes up on the ballot,” Roe says.
Clemenz says it’s about more than the couple.
“This is so much more than a mere marriage,” he says. “It’s a symbolic leap of faith for the progress and the edification of D.C. and really for the nation. It’s thought provoking and it’s provocative. Roby’s stood up time and time again in his life. He’s a true leader.”
Real Estate
Surprising parallels between dating and house hunting
Both require patience, effort, and a clear idea of what you want

Valentine’s Day is often associated with romance, chocolates, and candlelit dinners. However, for eligible singles, this holiday can be about more than just relationships—it can also be the perfect time to invest in real estate.
Anyone who has been in the dating scene long knows that finding “the one” can be challenging. Whether you’re searching for love or the perfect home, there are surprising parallels between dating and house hunting. Both require patience, time, effort, and a clear idea of what you want.
Just like dating, home buying requires a well-thought-out list of must-haves and deal-breakers. Understanding your needs will help you find the perfect match, whether in love or real estate.
Are you looking for a cozy condo in the city, or do you prefer a suburban single-family home with a yard? Perhaps a renovated kitchen will spur you into cooking up the perfect recipe for love.
Do you want a fixer-upper to mold into your own vision? (Note: Molding to your idea of perfection works better with houses than with potential life mates.) What about being a landlord with a rental unit that can help with mortgage payments? Or, if you prefer, keep it empty to house your beloved on the days you argue.
Does your taste run toward the bearded, Paul Bunyan look of a cabin in the woods surrounded by bears? Is the sleek, sophisticated high-rise more your style? And what about the Dad-bod style of a ’70s split level in the suburbs?
When dating, first impressions can be powerful, and so can the first look at a home. Curb appeal and initial feelings about a property are just as important as charm and chemistry in a relationship, but flaws may not be immediately noticeable.
Buying a home, like committing to a partner, is a long-term investment. Both require financial and emotional readiness. No one is perfect, and neither is any home. While you should aim for a place (or person) that meets most of your needs, be prepared to compromise.
Working with experts helps. Whether you’re seeking relationship advice from Patty Stanger or guidance from your favorite real estate agent or mortgage lender, professionals can make the process smoother and more successful.
Many people don’t realize that Valentine’s Day and the mid-winter in general can be an advantageous time to shop for real estate. Since many couples are preoccupied with romantic plans or skiing vacations, there are often fewer buyers in the market around this time. Less competition for buyers and higher motivation of sellers could give singles an edge in negotiations. You may find better prices or flexible terms.
Consider the value of financial and personal independence. Instead of waiting to be swept off your feet by Prince Charming, singles can take control of their future by investing in property independently and finding Home Charming instead.
If you’re ready to take the plunge, here are some key steps to ensure you find the right home:
- Work with a Real Estate Agent – Interview agents. Ask friends for recommendations. Find someone you like and trust. An experienced agent can help you navigate the market, negotiate offers, and find a home that matches your needs.
- Get Pre-Approved for a Mortgage – Knowing how much home you can afford is crucial. Talk to a lender and secure a pre-approval before you start your search.
- Narrow Down Your Location – Choose an area that fits your wallet and your lifestyle. Drive around. Get to know the area at night and on weekends. Check out nearby public transit and parking options. Try out your commute. Locate shopping areas, dining establishments, and other services you use regularly.
- Consider Future Needs – You may be single now but think about the future. If you plan to start a family or need a yard for a pet, factor that into your home-buying decision.
- Don’t Rush the Process – Just like finding the right partner, finding the right home takes time. Be patient and don’t settle for something that doesn’t feel right. It’s better to take your time than to end up with buyer’s remorse or, in the case of a rushed romantic decision, divorce.
So, instead of focusing on flowers that wilt and chocolates that don’t last this Valentine’s Day, why not fall in love with a home? Diving into the real estate market is a smart, long-term decision that offers stability, financial security, and a place you can truly call your own, making it one of the best gifts you can give yourself and the start of an exciting new chapter in your life.
You never know who you’ll meet at an open house.
Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her via DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.
Advice
Navigating these uncertain times
You have no power over others, but you have a lot of power over yourself

For Valentine’s Day, I was planning to write a column about shifts we can make in our attitudes and behaviors to strengthen our love relationships and deepen our connection with our partners.
Then, over the past few weeks, as I’ve been listening to many of my clients express their concerns about the state of our country and our world, I realized that much of what is required to have a great relationship can also help us get through the difficult times we live in.
So here are some principles that I hope will help you to navigate both the challenges of being in a close relationship and the challenges of uncertain times.
These principles overlap because they are all components of an approach to living that focuses on developing and maintaining agency over your life, and working to strengthen your resilience. The more solid you are, the better you can get through the hard stuff.
Strive to behave with integrity, in a way that you respect. You are likely to feel a lot better about yourself if you do what you believe is right, rather than betraying your values out of fear or to please others. The playwright Lillian Hellman, pressed to appear before the House Committee on Un-American Activities in 1952 and “name names,” said it well: “I cannot and will not cut my conscience to suit this year’s fashions.” (Of course, only you can decide how to balance possible consequences with the importance of honoring your principles.)
Stand up for what you believe in. Being quiet out of fear or concern for what others will think leaves us feeling like helpless victims. And you cannot have an intimate relationship when you don’t let your partner know important parts of who you are.
Strive to be non-reactive. Do your best to not let others (or circumstances) press your buttons so that you lash out, rather than responding thoughtfully and with deliberation, based on your values.
Strive to always soothe your anxiety. The philosopher Viktor Frankl wrote: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” When someone or something is starting to make us crazy, the best first move we can make is to quiet ourselves. Doing so allows us to think how to best respond.
There’s a great saying from Twelve Step programs: “If you want to have self-esteem, behave in esteemable ways.” You are more likely to do so when you first calm yourself, rather than exploding with anxiety or rage.
Strive to tolerate discomfort: Sometimes we can’t do much about what is making us uncomfortable or causing us distress. Our partner may not change in ways we would like; our job situation may be rough; we may face hostility in the outside world. Identifying how we can deal with challenges and difficult circumstances in a way that helps us become stronger and more resilient can often help us to weather them a bit more easily.
Strive to tolerate uncertainty: There really are no guarantees about anything important in life. That’s the way it goes. We can’t know how things will turn out —neither our relationships nor our lives nor the fate of humanity. So if we are to construct a meaningful life, we have no choice other than to keep putting one foot in front of the other, doing our best to respond thoughtfully and to have an impact when and where we can, without knowing the outcome.
Strive to stay anchored in reality, not lost in feelings. When we let our feelings run the show, it’s easy to get spun up and reactive. While our feelings are a source of information, they are not reality. All sorts of things—our pasts, the distortions of social media, what people around us are doing and saying—can contribute to how we feel about a situation.
Yes, it’s always a good idea to be aware of our feelings. But before acting on them, calm yourself, get some clarity about why you may be feeling what you’re feeling, and think about how reality lines up (or doesn’t line up) with what you’re feeling. In other words, aim to keep the big picture in mind.
Remember that you cannot change others, but you may at times be able to influence them. For example, when I first became vegetarian, I wanted to push my friends to adopt a vegetarian diet by “enlightening” them about the misery of factory farms and the environmental cost of raising animals for food. I soon realized that lectures and judgment are not a great way to change minds. Serving delicious vegetarian food for a dinner is more helpful. So think about how you can reach out to someone or to others with different views, in a way that they are more likely to hear you.
Obviously, there are limits to this approach. There may be times when you aren’t going to be heard, no matter how you say what you have to say. The point at which we shift from reaching out to someone to taking a “don’t tread on me” stance can be tricky to discern, and the decision to make that shift should be taken thoughtfully and with appreciation of possible consequences.
Keep your focus mainly on what you can do about a situation. Focus less on what the other person is doing wrong, or not doing. While you have little or no power over others, you have a lot of power over yourself. Thinking about what you can do to effect at least some of the change you would like, in your relationship or your community or our world, is an antidote to feeling powerless.
Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].)

As Valentine’s Day approaches, our thoughts often turn to love. While we may think of candlelit dinners or romantic gestures, love extends beyond relationships—it’s about the spaces we inhabit and how we nurture our connection to them. Loving where you live can have a profound impact on your well-being, and for renters in Washington, D.C., transforming an apartment into a cherished home is not only possible, but also can feel essential.
Washington, D.C., offers a vibrant lifestyle, but it can also pose challenges for renters. High costs, stressful work environments, limited space, and the very nature of urban living might make it harder to settle in. However, with some thoughtful adjustments, you can turn your rental into a space you love. Let’s explore how to create a home that’s a sanctuary, not just a stopover.
Personalize Your Space
One of the first steps to loving where you live is making it feel uniquely yours. Although renting may come with restrictions, there are plenty of ways to customize your apartment:
- Add Color: Use removable wallpaper or peel-and-stick decals to introduce vibrant or calming hues. Area rugs are another excellent way to bring warmth and character to any room.
- Display Your Story: Showcase meaningful art, family photos, or souvenirs from your travels. Gallery walls can make even a small space feel personal.
- Lighting Matters: Replace harsh overhead lighting with floor or table lamps to create a cozy ambiance. Use LED bulbs to save energy and customize brightness levels.
Embrace Multifunctional Furniture
City living can impose limited square footage and multifunctional furniture is your best friend. Look for pieces that serve dual purposes:
- A storage ottoman can double as seating.
- Fold-out tables save space while offering dining or work surfaces when you need them.
- A quality sofa bed is perfect for accommodating guests
Incorporate Plants and Greenery
Bringing nature indoors can instantly uplift your mood and enhance your living space:
- Low-Maintenance Options: Snake plants, pothos, and succulents thrive with minimal care.
- Vertical Gardens: If floor space is limited, consider wall-mounted planters.
- Window Sills: Herbs like basil or mint not only look and smell good, they are useful for cooking.
Create Comfortable Zones
Think about how you use your apartment and design dedicated areas:
- Work Corner: With remote work becoming increasingly common, invest in a comfortable chair, desk, and good lighting.
- Relaxation Spot: A corner with a plush chair, blanket, and books can be your go-to for unwinding.
- Entertaining Area: Even small spaces can shine with the right setup for hosting, such as a stylish bar cart or foldable chairs.
Maintain and Refresh Regularly
A clutter-free and clean apartment naturally feels more inviting:
- De-clutter quarterly, donating or discarding items you no longer use.
- Use storage systems to stash things away you do not need regularly
- Add seasonal touches like new cushions or throws to keep your space feeling fresh.
- Invest in quality cleaning tools to make upkeep easier.
Discovering the Loveable Side of D.C.
Beyond your apartment, Washington, D.C., is a city rich in experiences that make life here unique. Embracing the D.C. lifestyle can deepen your connection to where you live. Here are a few affordable and distinctly D.C. activities to enjoy this Valentine’s Day month:
Loving Life in D.C.
1. Explore Hidden Gems:
- The United States Botanical Garden: Even though it is the middle of winter, the Conservatory on the grounds of the U.S. Capitol is a wonderful place to get out of the cold. And a bonus – it is the time of year when orchids are in bloom. Enjoy a touch of a tropical environment right in downtown DC.
- Kennedy Center’s Millennium Stage: Enjoy free performances showcasing local and international talent. Every day, usually at 6 p.m., you can see artists from around the world in the central hall at the Kennedy Center. And all you have to do is get there in time! Check out the entire program here: https://www.kennedy-center.org/whats-on/millennium-stage
2. Taste D.C.’s Diverse Cuisine:
- Sample global flavors at Union Market. https://unionmarketdc.com
- Grab a half-smoke from Ben’s Chili Bowl, a true local original, on U Street, H Street, and other locations citywide.
3. Embrace the Outdoors:
- Walk or bike the Mount Vernon Trail along the Potomac River; the Capitol Crescent Trail on the west side, and the newer trail, the Metropolitan Branch Trail that runs from Union Station to Silver Spring.
- Visit Malcolm X Park (also known as Meridian Hill Park) for its cascading fountains, lively drum circles, snow ball fights, and more!
4. Dive Into History:
- Tour the lesser-known exhibits at the Smithsonian Anacostia Community Museum, the National Museums of Asian or African Art, and the incredible Renwick Gallery of American Art opposite the White House.
- Explore the Frederick Douglass National Historic Site for a deeper understanding of D.C.’s role in history. https://www.nps.gov/frdo/index.htm
5. Enjoy Affordable Culture:
- Attend pay-what-you-can nights at local theaters like Studio Theatre, Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company, or Theatre J located in the Jewish Community Center at 16th Street and Q Streets, NW.
- Take advantage of free museum access year-round, from the National Gallery of Art to the Hirshhorn Museum.
Building a Life You Love
Loving where you live isn’t just about the walls that surround you—it’s about the life you create within them. By personalizing your apartment and immersing yourself in the unique experiences D.C. offers, you’ll better foster a personal sense of belonging and joy. This Valentine’s Day, remember to nurture not only your relationships, but also your relationship with your home and your city. After all, love begins at home.
Scott Bloom is owner and senior property manager of Columbia Property Management. For more information and resources, go to ColumbiaPM.com
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