Living
Queery: Max Barger
20 gay questions for the Ackerman Firm attorney
Max Barger has dabbled in lots of things — he started his career as a reporter and also worked as a singer/dancer/actor before going to law school in the early ’90s and also earned a master’s of business administration degree. That led to lots of moving around. Barger, who grew up on an Indiana farm, shifted around to Los Angeles, St. Louis, Hilton Head, S.C., and more before coming to the D.C. area four years ago. The Bethesda firm he joined downsized and in March he joined the gay-helmed general practice firm Ackerman Legal where he does estate planning and probate law.
His coming out process was almost as circuitous as his career path. He’d come out years earlier but was, as he puts it “lovingly shoved back in the closet by family and friends who thought they were trying to help me.” This led to frustrating attempts at “ex-gay” therapy, inspired by his conservative and religious Midwest family.
“They were very loving and caring and sincere,” Barger says. “But they were sincerely wrong and I was gullible enough to want that. I wish I could have just had the courage to say no.” Barger eventually made peace with his sexual orientation and says he has a great relationship with his family now. He met his partner of four years, flight attendant Edwin Rosario, at a barbecue hosted by mutual friends. They live together in Arlington with their dog, Gizmo. Barger enjoys singing in the church choir, running, reading and blogging on legal issues and enjoying wine and music. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
I’ve been out for about a decade. The hardest person to come out to was myself. Admitting it to myself, saying, “I am gay, this is who I am,” was a difficult inner dialogue. After getting over that, although it wasn’t easy to tell my family and loved ones, it was much easier than embracing it and reconciling it in my own mind.
Who’s your gay hero?
No doubt about it, Larry Slagle. Larry is a septuagenarian and fellow Foundry UMC member. Larry’s quiet courage, bravery and perseverance, being a powerful man, who was also gay during a time when it was dangerous to be gay (or should I say “more dangerous?”), is nothing short of inspiring. Unnoticed, Larry blazed a trail, making it easier for all of us. Never outspoken, simply wise and full of integrity.
What is Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?
Wherever the next Capital Area Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (CAGLCC) Network Thursday event is happening! October’s is at Gucci in Chevy Chase.
Describe your dream gay wedding.
Now that it is possible, an intimate ceremony at Foundry UMC with Pastors Dean and Dee officiating, followed by a reception on a rooftop with a fantastic view of D.C. and in D.C. – the city that lets us get married.
What non-gay issue are you most passionate about?
Personally, my family and beginning the transition of taking care of my parents after their decades of raising and protecting their children. Professionally, educating people about protecting their assets, minimizing taxes and putting a plan in place. Socially, ending the acrimonious nature of politics and extremism.
What historical outcome would you change?
Modern history – the outcome of the 2000 presidential election. Ancient history – Isaac and Ishmael. I’d make them, their mothers and their father all one big happy blended family.
What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?
I was tiny, but I still remember it – President Nixon’s resignation speech. My Dad sat me on the floor in front of the TV and said, “Watch this. This is important. You will always remember this moment.” I still do.
On what do you insist?
Loyalty.
What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?
Answering that question would expose my dismal lack of posting anything recently.
If your life were a book, what would the title be?
“Official Book Club Selection.” Although I think that’s been taken already.
If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
I would not wait for that to happen. If I thought that there was funding to research it, I would work to keep such harmful, hateful research from going forward.
What do you believe in beyond the physical world?
Really? In a couple sentences? This is more like a dissertation topic. Suffice to say, my spiritual life is very important to me.
What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
Do good. Harm no one. Stay true to the tenets that first motivated you to lead.
What would you walk across hot coals for?
As an attorney, my answer is always “it depends.” So what are the circumstances in which said hot coals are the obstacle? Is someone’s life threatened if I don’t cross? Clearly, I’d cross for that. Or is the lure untold wealth on the other side of the scorching walk? What’s my motivation? Am I over-thinking this question?
What gay stereotype annoys you most?
That all gay men are sex hounds, motivated primarily by a base desire to have sex with every man who walks by them. The LGBT community’s gay stereotype that annoys me the most is that since we are gay, naturally we are all dyed-in-the-wool Democrats and support the entire Democratic platform. Let’s have a conversation before jumping to conclusions.
What’s your favorite gay movie?
“Broken Hearts Club” – Dean Cain, John Mahoney, Zach Braff. I laughed, I cried, it was better than “Cats.”
What’s the most overrated social custom?
Tipping. We should pay a worker his wage, not hide it in a tip. Tipping is nothing more that civilized bribery.
What trophy or prize do you most covet?
I want to become a fellow of the American College of Trusts and Estate Counsel. I also aspire to earn the designation of accredited estate planner and estate planning law specialist.
What do you wish you’d known at 18?
That I did not need to be ashamed of my personal orientation.
Why Washington?
I moved here for a fantastic career opportunity and I am staying because of the fantastic relationships I have developed.
The latest Honda Civic hatchback and Subaru Impreza are two of the segment’s stars. Both offer sensible pricing, excellent utility and enough personality to avoid feeling like appliances.
The Civic is more polished. The Impreza, more rugged. Luckily, neither is trying to be obnoxiously flashy.
HONDA CIVIC
$28,000
MPG: 30 city/38 highway
0 to 60 mph: 8.9 seconds
Cargo space: 24.5 cu. ft.
PROS: Fuel efficient. Spacious cargo area. Good resale value.
CONS: No all-wheel drive. Fussy infotainment. Low rear headroom.
WHAT’S NEW: Only minor updates for 2026. The biggest change carries over from last year’s refresh: the addition of the hybrid, which has become a star performer.
The Honda Civic hatchback won’t scream for attention. It won’t arrive wearing sequins and carrying a smoke machine. It’s more like Nomi Marks from “Sense8”: intelligent, sophisticated and impressively capable.
The styling remains handsome and clean. Long hood. Low roofline. Crisp lines everywhere.Honda resisted the urge to make this vehicle look like a spaceship or an angry robot. That’s refreshing.
Inside, the dashboard is simple and elegant. The honeycomb air-vent treatment remains one of the coolest interior details in the segment. Materials feel expensive. Controls are easy to understand. And visibility is excellent.
I love how the cargo space is generous, with rear seats that fold flat. A bicycle, several suitcases or enough supplies for an ambitious weekend road trip fit without much hassle.
Then there’s the hybrid. The system produces a healthy amount of power while delivering fuel economy that borders on the absurd. Around town, handling feels smooth, quiet and surprisingly quick. You almost glide through traffic. The standard gasoline engine isn’t bad, but the hybrid is stellar.
The Civic also shines on twisty roads. Steering is precise. Body motions stay controlled. The suspension strikes a sweet balance between comfort and sportiness.
Biggest weakness? No all-wheel drive. For drivers in snowy climates, that’s not so good.
Still, the Civic’s stellar combination of efficiency, quality, and driving enjoyment remains incredibly hard to beat.
SUBARU IMPREZA

$27,000
MPG: 27 city/33 highway
0 to 60 mph: 8.5 seconds
Cargo space: 20.4 cubic feet
PROS: All-wheel drive. User-friendly tech. Safety cred.
CONS: No hybrid version. Some road noise. Modest cargo room.
WHAT’S NEW: The Impreza receives relatively minor updates for 2026. Subaru continues refining this hatchback rather than reinventing it.
If the Honda Civic is urbane, the Subaru Impreza is unfussy. There’s a kind of Kristen Stewart energy here. Cool without trying too hard.
The styling isn’t dramatic, but it works. This hauler appears ready to tackle rain, snow, dirt roads or an impromptu weekend escape.
And all-wheel drive comes standard on every Impreza. (Most competitors only offer front-wheel drive or include all-wheel drive as a pricey option.)
The result: Slippery roads simply don’t create much anxiety. The suspension absorbs bumps nicely. Long trips are comfortable. Visibility is great, thanks to relatively thin roof pillars and large windows.
I like how the cabin is functional rather than fancy. Materials don’t quite match the Civic’s upscale vibe, but everything feels sturdy. A large infotainment screen dominates the dashboard and generally works well, though some drivers may prefer more physical buttons.
Cargo space is respectable, and the design makes loading bulky items easy.
Performance depends heavily on trim. The base engine gets the job done, but nobody will confuse it for a sports car. The RS trim’s larger engine provides more power and makes the ride livelier. But even then, acceleration remains merely adequate.
The Impreza’s real appeal lies elsewhere, with a mix that few rivals can match: hatchback practicality, standard all-wheel drive, strong safety scores and reasonable pricing.
Perhaps that’s the key difference between these two hatchbacks. The Honda Civic impresses immediately. The Subaru Impreza grows on you.
Fortunately, choosing between them is less stressful than deciding who gets the last mimosa at brunch.
Real Estate
When buying a home, it’s decisions, decisions, decisions
Keeping notes on the process makes for an informed purchase
When looking to buy a home, there are lots of details to consider. Many of my clients would come to me and say, “Joe I want to buy a place, but I haven’t decided which neighborhood to buy in.” And the struggle was real. A few clients had everything decided from the color of the hallway walls to the cabinet handles and sometimes which three square blocks they wanted to look at.
But other clients were occasionally looking at properties in areas as distinct as Union Market/NOMA, Brookland, Logan Circle, and then we would even go across the river to look at a property in Shirlington or the Van Dorn areas of Virginia, which all have their own unique flavor and characteristics.
Sometimes clients would tell me, “I only want to look in Mount Pleasant or Adams Morgan.” Or, “don’t even show me any properties west of this street or south of that street.” My job wasn’t to convince people where to live. It was to just take the parameters they set for me and find as good of a property in that zone as I could, coordinate the showings and, if necessary, offer the strategy.
One can see that buyers often had more decisions to make than a seller. From a seller’s perspective, the house was where it was, and we just had to make the best of it. But working with a buyer could mean looking at five different neighborhoods, and then being a “thought partner” to help them figure out which were the top two or three areas they had seen, and then further distilling those down into what was available and weighing those options against each other.
One house could have the dream bathroom but also be located six blocks further from a Metro stop, walkable shopping and dining, and “just too far away from my friends.” Another house could have all the neighborhood options a client was looking for, but was just not in turnkey condition, and would require an additional $30,000 of upgrades once purchased to make it into the dream home they envisioned.
One activity I often asked buyers to do was to keep an active list in their heads of the properties they liked, and to keep a running rank of the top three. I often encouraged them to bring a notebook along on the journey where they could take notes and write down questions they thought of as they looked. It was an important decision, and sometimes the largest purchase of their lives. Why not take it a little seriously, and take notes? This could often help the buyer later when they felt it was time to decide.
The point here is, keeping a notebook handy can sometimes help a person with what feels like an overwhelming process. It provides a space to explore how one feels, jot down important details to remember, and then use that to make an informed decision.
Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with RLAH. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].
Real Estate
Under-the-radar Delaware beach towns smart buyers are targeting
There are other options if Rehoboth prices are scaring you off
Look, we love Rehoboth. We will always love Rehoboth. Queer folks have been flocking there since the 1940s, and with scores of LGBTQ-owned businesses and a Pride calendar packed tighter than the boardwalk in July, “Rehomo” earned its crown fair and square.
But let’s be honest with each other: trying to buy property there right now feels a lot like trying to get a reservation at the one good restaurant in town on a Saturday in August. Everyone wants in, inventory is tighter than your swim trunks after Labor Day brunch, and the prices have officially entered “are you kidding me” territory.
So here’s a thought: What if you didn’t fight the crowd? What if, instead, you let Rehoboth keep doing its glorious, chaotic, glitter-bomb thing and you quietly built your beach life 15 minutes away for considerably less drama and considerably more square footage? Here are four towns ready for their close-up.
Lewes: The Charming Overachiever
Lewes is what happens when a beach town actually has its life together. Historic charm, walkability, proximity to Cape Henlopen State Park, less crowding, and a strong year-round community. Unlike towns that turn into ghost towns after Labor Day, Lewes maintains a real community all year long, which is more than we can say for some situationships.
And right now, the market is practically begging you to make a move. It’s one of the most desirable and stable markets in the county — built for buyers thinking long-term, not flippers, and Sussex County overall has flipped into genuine buyer’s market territory for the first time in years. Translation: you finally get to be the one with leverage.
Bethany Beach: My Personal Pick
Full disclosure: I own in Bethany. So consider this section a little biased — and also the most honest thing I’ll tell you in this whole article.
When I drive down from D.C., I’m not looking for more of D.C. I love this city, but I also love leaving it — and yes, some of the people in it too (you know who you are, and so do I). Bethany gives me that full exhale. It’s quiet in the way that actually means something: fewer crowds, slower mornings, a soundtrack that’s mostly waves instead of nightlife. It leans hard into its “quiet resort” reputation, with low property taxes and a limited geographic footprint, and it is not the least bit sorry about it.
But quiet doesn’t mean isolated. I’ve got a genuinely excellent food scene nearby, real shopping, and a string of charming neighboring beach towns — and when I do want a taste of Rehoboth’s energy, it’s a short, easy drive away. I get to choose my dose of chaos instead of living inside it.
And here’s the part that matters most for this article: the price. If you’ve looked at Rehoboth listings and quietly closed the tab in despair, I need you to hear this — you can absolutely afford a beach house. It just doesn’t have to be in Rehoboth. Bethany’s average home value sits around $848,592, which is still real money, no question — but it buys you more house, more land, and more peace than the same budget gets you closer to the boardwalk. Bethany is welcoming too, just without Rehoboth’s decades of built-in queer institutional history — and for plenty of us, that trade-off is more than worth it.
Fenwick Island: Small Town, Big Flex
Fenwick rarely gets mentioned and, frankly, it should be insulted. It’s tiny, it’s quiet, and it has beach access without the carnival energy. The market data tends to lump it in with Bethany, where single-family oceanfront homes clear $1 million while entry-level condos start in the $600s — proof that “under-the-radar” doesn’t mean “bargain bin,” it means “fewer people fighting you for it.”
South Bethany: For the Boat Gays
Some of us want sand between our toes. Others want a private dock and a boat named something deeply unserious. South Bethany’s canal communities are built for the latter — water access on both sides, fewer crowds, and a lifestyle that says, “I have a captain’s hat and I am not afraid to wear it.”
The Math Works in Your Favor Now
Here’s the part that should really get your attention: Sussex County’s median sold price has dropped to $440,000, down 3.3% year-over-year, and buyers are routinely closing around 88 cents on the dollar compared to asking price. That’s a far cry from the unhinged bidding wars of 2021 and 2022, when overpaying was basically a competitive sport. Inventory across the county sits at nearly 2,500 active listings — the most of any county in Delaware, meaning you actually get to be picky for once. Revolutionary, we know.
And no, choosing one of these towns doesn’t mean leaving your people behind. Sussex Pride serves the entire county, not just Rehoboth proper, and CAMP Rehoboth’s resources extend well beyond town limits too. You’re not exiling yourself to the suburbs of queerness — you’re just getting a bigger kitchen, a quieter porch, and a much shorter line for the bathroom.
Add in the fact that Delaware has no estate tax and some of the lowest property taxes around, savings that genuinely add up over a retirement horizon, and the case writes itself. Rehoboth will always be the beating, sequined heart of queer beach culture in Delaware. But if you’ve been telling yourself a beach house isn’t in the cards — I’m here to tell you it absolutely is. It just might be 15 minutes south, with your own quiet porch, your own salt air, and considerably more room to breathe.
Have a real estate question or Rehoboth market tip? Reach out to [email protected] for LGBTQ-friendly real estate resources in the Rehoboth area.
Justin Noble is a Realtor licensed in D.C., Maryland, and Delaware with Monument Sotheby’s International Realty. Reach him at [email protected] or 302-897-7499.
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