Arts & Entertainment
Queery: Kat Skiles
The lesbian web designer answers 20 gay questions
Kat Skiles is starting to get the sense that she’s stumbled into something. Her new website lezgettogether.com — she built if over the hurricane weekend — is doing healthy early traffic.
A free Facebook-esque site for D.C.-area lesbians, it’s earned about 160 members in its first month and is adding more daily.
“Everybody who’s seen it has been like, ‘Oh my gosh, yeah, we’ve needed this,'” Skiles says.
She got the idea after struggling to make friends upon moving to Washington herself in 2008. She says her first few years here were spent “looking desperately” for a diverse gathering space. She kept coming up dry.
“Facebook is awesome, bars and nightlife are great, but I think there really is a need for a specific, separate space where lesbians of all different ages and demographics can mingle,” she says.
And why is this so hard with D.C.’s strong LGBT population? Why doesn’t it seem to be a problem for gay men?
“I don’t know,” Skiles says. “It’s a good question and I’m sure there all kinds of great conversations to be had about that.”
The upstart costs have been minimal but she hopes to soon have it up and running on its own through ad sales. She didn’t conceive of it as a business venture but she would like it to be self sustaining. The first gathering is planned for Oct. 21. Members will meet at 6:30 at Solly’s Tavern for the inaugural “lesbian attack,” a monthly event where they’ll gather at a straight bar for the evening.
Skiles, a 26-year-old Salt Lake City native, is an online communications director for the U.S. House. She loves working on the Hill and has long been fascinated by politics. She’s also the communications director for the LGBT Congressional Staff Association.
Skiles studied religion and politics at Northern California’s Dominican University but came to D.C. for an internship in 2006 and “fell in love with it.”
Skiles is in a relationship and lives in Columbia Heights. She enjoys pick-up basketball, working out, Scrabble and American history. (Blade photos by Michael Key)
How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
I don’t know that I ever really “came out.” Being gay was just this thing I started doing one day.
Who’s your LGBT hero?
Tammy Baldwin.
What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?
Chi Cha Lounge on U Street. It is second to none.
Describe your dream wedding.
The Jefferson Memorial. It is going to happen.
What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?
Veterans issues are near and dear to my heart. Three generations of my family have fought in wars with the United States Army, most recently my brother in Iraq.
What historical outcome would you change?
The legal institution of slavery in the earliest years of American history.
What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?
The night Nancy Pelosi took the Speakership. I’m a big fan of firsts for women in general and I really admire Pelosi, but I also campaigned myself ragged that election cycle. I felt so a part of the victory. It was all very moving.
On what do you insist?
Standing up for what’s right, even if it is awkward.
What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?
I’ve been working really hard to get the word out aboutLezGetTogether.com and so I’ve posted the link all over Facebook and Twitter a million times. You probably should too. Go on… go on…
If your life were a book, what would the title be?
“The Girl Who Preferred Her Hoodie to An Umbrella”
If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
I would join the Tea Party in declaring science a hoax. Actually, no. I would just declare science a hoax.
What do you believe in beyond the physical world?
My views about the non-physical world are rooted in staying focused on the here and now. I read this beautiful book a few years ago called “Way of the Peaceful Warrior” that sums it up pretty well. My favorite section says, “Wake up! If you knew for certain you had a terminal illness — if you had little time left to live — you would waste precious little of it! Well, I’m telling you, you do have a terminal illness. It’s called birth. You don’t have more than a few years left. No one does! So be happy now, without reason or you will never be at all.”
What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
As we continue advancing equality, it’s important to recognize the value of lending a hand to others along the way. Our LGBT family is a canvas of diversity and that means we have to fight in every instance of discrimination — men for women, whites for minorities, rich for poor and so on. We pick up ourselves when we pick up others.
What would you walk across hot coals for?
A Democratic majority in the House of Representatives. If that option were to become unavailable I’d go for a jar of Nutella and a spoon.
What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?
I studied religion in college and grew up in a family of Irish Catholics so I have a particular irritation with those who mischaracterize the message of Christ and push forward with such ferocity that which is clearly hateful and discriminatory. I suppose I shouldn’t be too hard on those folks though, because when Jesus sees that the gays aren’t pulling their weight in contributing to overpopulation and dogs start marrying bunnies, Armageddon is likely to ensue — or something like that.
What’s your favorite LGBT movie?
“Kissing Jessica Stein”
What’s the most overrated social custom?
That it’s impolite to speak about religion or politics. Great. Let’s just talk about the weather or what time the mail comes. Why would I want to hear about the values and ideas that most significantly shape who you are? This social custom seems a bit ridiculous.
What trophy or prize do you most covet?
I’d like to run for D.C. City Council.
What do you wish you’d known at 18?
All that studying would actually pay off.
Why Washington?
I fell in love with this town a long time ago. I’ll grow old here.
Friday, October 9
Go Gay DC will host “Out in DC LGBTQ+ Community Social” at 7 p.m. at Hotel Zena. This is a chance to relax, new friends, and enjoy happy hour specials at this classic retro venue. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
Saturday, October 10
Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
“Nellie’s DC Drag Brunch” will be at 12 p.m. at Nellie’s Sports Bar. Come get served like a queen by a queen. Join Sapphire Blue, Deja Diamond and their team of amazing drag performers for the most fun you’ll have all weekend. Tickets cost $58.51 and are available on Eventbrite.
Sunday, October 11
Spark Coffee Club will be at 12 p.m. at Spark Social. This is a laid-back daytime hangout built entirely around making new connections. Whether you’re new to the city, new to the community, or just looking to expand your social circle, this is an easy, low-pressure way to spark up a conversation with the person next to you. Come solo or with a friend — you never know who you might meet. For more details, visit Eventbrite.
Tuesday, October 13
Trans Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This event is intended to provide an emotionally and physically safe space for trans people and those who may be questioning their gender identity/expression to join together in community and learn from one another. For more details, email [email protected].
Coming Out Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a safe space to share experiences about coming out and discuss topics as it relates to doing so — by sharing struggles and victories the group allows those newly coming out and who have been out for a while to learn from others. For more details, visit the group’s Facebook.
Wednesday, October 14
Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit www.thedccenter.org/careers.
The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center will host “Movement for Healing” at 3 p.m. This trauma- and yoga therapy–informed class is designed to help guests gently reconnect with their body and their breath. Through mindful movement, somatic awareness, and grounding practices, guests will explore how to release tension, increase mobility, and cultivate a deeper sense of safety and ease within. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.
Thursday, October 15
The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the Center. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245.
a&e features
Bar Betsie, inviting and intimate, marks one-year anniversary
Not that a basic vodka-soda should ever dare to appear in print on the craft cocktail list at year-old Bar Betsie, but if it did, its name would be written in big black block letters, back-lit, on a marquee behind the 14-seat bar, with its ingredients – Tito’s, seltzer water – sitting visible on a shelf above.
Inviting and intimate, and with that arresting visual representation of cocktail ingredients along the wall, Bar Betsie has brought its vibes-forward approach to a dynamic corner of bustling Union Market. The sophomore effort from owners JP Sabatier, Ralph Brabham, and Drew Porterfield, the trio took a different tack at Bar Betsie than at their other, older (though not by much) 14th Street bar, Jane Jane.
Bar Betsie allowed Sabatier, Brabham, and Porterfield to expand their creativity. The three first connected several years ago, when JP was manager of Maydan and Brabham and Porterfield owned Beau Thai and BKK Cookshop. Immediately hitting it off, they dreamed of opening a bar together and in 2021, it became a reality, in the form of Jane Jane.
Featuring a short list of craft, rotating cocktails and shareable bar snacks, Bar Betsie is Jane Jane’s “grittier, edgier” sister. While Jane is named after Porterfield’s mother, Bar Betsie gets its moniker from Sabatier’s mom.
“While Jane Jane is going on a field trip, Bar Betsie feels like you’re skipping school,” says Brabham. Bar Betsie brings more of a party vibe, he says. They landed in the Union Market neighborhood after thinking through what a second bar might feel like: not a carbon copy, but an atmosphere unique to its physical space and surroundings. Union Market and its transitional nature translates to the bar’s interiors: its mood lighting regardless of time of day, the crushed-velvet booths, the blood-red curved curtains to the bathrooms and kitchen, and the air of timeless mystique contrast to the elevated, buttoned-up cocktail bar that is Jane Jane. No one would bat an eye if a cabaret broke out on top of the bar. When in Bar Betsie, they say, it’s as if the warm lighting cuts through the vibe (and the stories) of 50-year-old cigarette smoke in the air.
They decided to make the cocktail menu more concise: 12 to 15 signature drinks at a time. Tequila and mezcal lead the program (again, a nod to mom Betsie, who prefers agave-based liquors). Drinks rotate seasonally (a cocktail flip is happening this month) and are developed committee-style to ensure that the whole team has input. The Clover Cult has been especially popular, with bluecoat gin, raspberry, vermouth, and lemon, but passed through a high-speed blender that whips the drink into a frenzy: it’s a “yummy, sweet cocktail with foam with a beautiful pink color,” says Brabham.
Beers feature locally brewed options, like from DC Brau and Atlas, alongside a wine program featuring skin-contact wines. And hewing to that party-forward vibe, there’s a host of shooters like the blackberry firing squad with tequila and lime.
As for the food, Bar Betsie has a true kitchen, allowing Sabatier to stretch his cheffy wings (he attended the Culinary Institute of America). Bar snacks are plentiful, including Buffalo chicken dip, a giant pretzel with beer cheese, and chicken tinga nachos that are “fucking delicious” says Raplh. “We’re aiming for food that’s snacky, salty, crunchy, and tasty to pair with the drinks.” Guest chefs show up on Sundays for kitchen cameos.
Since opening Bar Betsie, the trio has welcomed some additional acclaim. They’ve begun to set up activations with other bars; last month, they held a pop-up at new cocktail den Frank’s Wild Years, and there’s an upcoming collaboration with Death &Co, the famed bar in Blagden.
Bar Betsie occupies a unique place in the city’s pantheon of drinking destinations. All three owners are gay, and yet this (like Jane Jane) is not a gay bar.
“We never hide who we are,” say Brabham and Porterfield. “There’s always the recognition of the community we come from, and love, and want to celebrate.”
They want people to know who they are and what they stand for, showing that by being inclusive and open in their support of the community. They work to ensure that the staff is diverse and inclusive as well. They also dropped an exclusive Easter egg: behind the medicine-cabinet mirrors in the bathroom is a video screen playing footage of drag queens either getting ready, fixing, or removing makeup and wigs. “It’s a little IYKYK moment, something fun and true to who we are as a queer-celebrating and owned space,” they say.
Movies
10 years later, we still can’t shake Barry Jenkins’s ‘Moonlight’
Landmark queer film returned to theaters this past weekend
It all started back at the Telluride Film Festival, where “Moonlight” had its world premiere in 2016, kicking off a successful awards season run. It instantly became the year’s critical darling, and it wound up winning three Academy Awards, including Best Picture, Best Adapted Screenplay (for Jenkins), and Best Supporting Actor (for Mahershala Ali.)
But there’s a world where an independently made film like “Moonlight,” featuring an all-Black cast with mostly unknown actors, and a story exploring how queerness intersects with toxic masculinity and race, gets easily overlooked. The fact that the film won Best Picture on Hollywood’s biggest stage not only cemented its place in film history, but helped the story reach more Black and queer people.
Adapted from Tarell Alvin McCraney’s unproduced, autobiographical play “In Moonlight Black Boys Look Blue,” Jenkins follows a boy named Chiron, introduced to the audience as Little, over the course of three pivotal moments in his upbringing. Set in Miami, the film tracks Chiron’s days as an outcast struggling to make it through elementary school, to his first sexual encounter with another boy, to his adult days making a living as a drug dealer. Chiron suffocates while living with his abusive, drug-addicted mother (Naomie Harris) and eventually finds refuge and safety in the home of surrogate parents Juan (Ali) and Teresa (Janelle Monáe) as he struggles to reckon with his queerness.
Jenkins’s images instantly became iconic: Juan holding Little in the ocean, a moment reminiscent of a young boy’s baptism; Chiron resting his head on Kevin’s (André Holland) shoulder as the two reconcile their love for one another; Little looking back at the audience as the waves crash.
The film mainly features locals from Miami. One of the smartest choices Jenkins and his casting director, Yesi Ramirez, made when shaping out Chiron’s journey was casting three different actors (Alex Hibbert, Ashton Sanders, and Trevante Rhodes) to play the character as he physically comes of age. Jenkins deliberately never had the three actors meet despite portraying the same character — quite the atypical approach to casting.
“I wanted [that decision] to be a comment on the way of the world we live in, and how society has this effect on these young men who grow up in a community like the one depicted in the film,” Jenkins said in a Creative Screenwriting interview in February 2017. “To me, the best way to show that was to illustrate this change in the character, and what happens to the people who are playing him at each stage.”
In the decade since “Moonlight”’s release, dozens of filmmakers cite Jenkins as one of their biggest influences, including Joe Talbot (“The Last Black Man in San Francisco”). And you can see his film’s footprints all over “Nickel Boys, If I Go Will They Miss Me” and “Waves,” all films that use evocative imagery to tell grounded, Black-led stories.
To date, “Moonlight” remains the lowest-budget film to ever win Best Picture, made for a mere $1.5 million dollars. It was also the first film that A24, the indie distributor that was still building a name for itself back in 2016, fully financed and produced itself. “Moonlight” went on to gross over $60 million at the global box office, largely thanks to the Oscars platform.
In our current political and media landscape under the Trump-Vance administration, “Moonlight” has the potential to save even more lives. In the early days depicted in Chiron’s upbringing, he is taught to live with shame, to keep his head down at school. It’s all about survival. But by the end of the film, Chiron reconnects with Kevin and finds himself remembering all the emotions he felt after being touched by a man for the first time. It’s a small step, a small embrace, but a crucial one for Chiron to start coming to terms with himself.
Jenkins still gets emotional when watching scenes back from the film now. Speaking with Vanity Fair at this year’s Telluride Film Festival, where “Moonlight” screened for its 10th anniversary, Jenkins admitted he was a “crying mess” when revisiting the last 15 minutes of the film earlier in the year.
“Maybe over the next few months I’ll get some more understanding of it, but I think it was just how meaningful it was that we created this thing,” Jenkins said. “It’s not about the film itself, but just how meaningful it was that we actually did it.
In the decade since “Moonlight”’s release, Jenkins went on to direct another acclaimed film, “If Beale Street Could Talk,” and recently made “Mufasa: The Lion King.” He’s set to return to his more independent roots with “Be My Baby” starring Zendaya, which will also be distributed by A24, and an Alvin Ailey biopic. The Oscar winner continues to mentor emerging filmmakers and writers through the Sundance Labs, visiting colleges around the country to teach what he learned from making his breakout film.
Now that “Moonlight” is back in theaters, it’s the perfect opportunity for queer and Black people to experience this tender, intimate, nuanced film on the big screen. It’s a modern classic with the potential to continue making people feel seen and embraced for every aspect of their identity.
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