Living
A minister’s fresh start
Detroit Baptist official resigns after coming out; plans Silver Spring church
Bishop Allyson Abrams is no stranger to challenge. When her secret threatened to come out in her Detroit church — that she was a lesbian married to a woman — she knew she had to act fast to save her job and livelihood. Now, several months and one resignation later, Abrams is starting over by opening a new church in Silver Spring, Md.
Abrams, originally from Alabama, grew up in the church with her mother, grandmother and grandfather all very involved. She remembers sitting in the back of the church at around age 8 and having a conversation with God in which she felt he was telling her to become involved in ministry.
After receiving her bachelor’s of science in mechanical engineering at Howard University, she followed that calling to a seminary in Ohio. While there, one of her favorite professors challenged her that scripture prohibits homosexuality.
“I had so much respect for my professor so I went back and looked at the scripture,” Abrams says. “That began my journey to question homosexuality. God began to reveal to me what scripture meant. It was like a light bulb going off. We can’t be so religious that we hurt and wrong people.”
Abrams, who before marrying her wife had been married to a man and had children, began to question her sexuality after this revelation. She went on to pastor at one church in Detroit for seven years. Then, she moved on to Zion Progress Baptist Church becoming its first female pastor. During that time, Abrams married her wife, Diana Williams, in Iowa, though she declines to go into details about exactly when they were married or to what degree she intended to keep her marriage hidden.
Word eventually traveled around that Abrams had married a woman and some of her friends began to receive phone calls and text messages asking if it was true. Abrams was afraid that her church would hear about it from someone else and decided to tell the deacons of her church. They urged her to share the news with the congregation.
During a sermon on the love of Christ, Abrams disclosed to her church that she was a lesbian and married to a woman.
“I wasn’t sure at all what people would say or feel,” Abrams says. Some were supportive of me. I just needed to be honest with them and have them hear it from me and not somebody else.”
Abrams says she felt freedom after revealing her secret.
“There’s a certain joy that you have that you can’t share with the congregation because of what the church says about it. I thought about it all the time.”
After five years with the church, Abrams felt it best to resign. She says she did not feel coerced into stepping down, only that she felt it was the best decision at the time.
She and her wife wanted to move to a marriage equality state where there were groups moving the LGBT movement forward. Both having connections to the D.C. area, they decided Maryland was a good fit.
Her new church, Empowerment Liberation Cathedral (633 Sligo Ave., Silver Spring, Md.), opens in May. It’s conceived as a welcoming and affirming Baptist church that she is starting with support from her wife. Abrams has needed additional financial support and has been holding fundraisers including concerts with other fellowships asking for donations.
“We welcome and affirm every race, gender, sexuality and disability,” Abrams says. “We want to give them a safe space, teach principles and to pour into them God’s love. People say it’s amazing to hear a pastor say that God loves us the way we are. I’m always going to make sure God knows them.”
Rev. Charles Christian Adams of Hartford Memorial Church in Detroit is a colleague of Abrams. He believes her new church will be a success.
“She’s conscientious and preaches with an open heart. There’s not a lot of love in churches. Any church she pastors will have that trademark,” he says.
Empowerment Liberation Cathedral also offers virtual membership. Abrams says she received lots of requests for her to preach all over the country after her story came out. Unable to travel all over and meet everyone’s requests, she decided to create a virtual membership for her church so that anyone can hear her preach.
“It’s very difficult still. All I worked hard for is over. It’s like being back at the beginning. It’s hard as a woman to get to the top level. I’m kind of kicked to the curb. Now I’m reaching out for support. I’m still the same preacher and the same person. I’m asking the Maryland LGBT community for support.”
Real Estate
Your holiday home journey
Real estate decisions often tap into our deeper desires for connection
Thanksgiving and real estate share an essential theme: the importance of home. It is traditionally a time of gratitude, togetherness, and reflection. While its hallmark symbols may include turkey dinners, family gatherings, and autumnal décor, it also invites us to think deeply about our values and who and what we hold dear.
For some people, the family home connotes a place of safety, comfort, and community. For others, visiting with family over the holiday can be a contentious and stressful ordeal best avoided. Countless of my friends have severed toxic relationships that can rival an exploding, deep-fried turkey. They have opted instead for dining out or hosting a gathering of food and football with like-minded people.
During Thanksgiving, the idea of “home” becomes particularly poignant. It is more than just a physical structure; it’s where people gather, memories are made, and traditions are passed down. For those involved in real estate — whether as professionals or as individuals embroiled in the market — this emotional dimension of home is a driving force.
When buying a house, it’s not just about square footage or the number of bedrooms. It’s about envisioning a Thanksgiving dinner in the dining room, imagining children playing in the backyard, or hosting friends in the cozy living space. Real estate decisions often tap into our deeper desires for connection, stability, and legacy — values closely tied to the spirit of Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving falls in the quieter part of the real estate calendar, with spring and summer being the traditionally hot seasons for buying and selling. Yet, for those who choose to list their homes in November, the holiday offers unique opportunities. Sellers can use Thanksgiving’s warm, inviting atmosphere to their advantage, staging homes with seasonal touches like autumn wreaths, a cornucopia of fruits and nuts, the sparkle of a dining room chandelier, and the scent of freshly baked pies.
A well-decorated home during this time can evoke an emotional connection with potential buyers. A cozy environment can help them imagine spending their future holidays in that very space. Additionally, homes listed during the Thanksgiving season often face less competition, as fewer properties are on the market. This can lead to more serious offers from motivated buyers.
For buyers, Thanksgiving can function as a reminder of why they are on the hunt for a new home in the first place. Perhaps they are looking for a bigger space for a growing family. They may be downsizing to retire or to simplify life. They might be looking for home to accommodate both children and aging parents simultaneously. The holiday season underscores the importance of finding a home that aligns with lifestyle needs and future goals.
In our tight real estate market, buyers still face challenges such as limited inventory and higher interest rates; however, Thanksgiving encourages a shift in perspective. It’s a time to focus on gratitude for what is within reach — whether it’s finding a starter home, securing a dream property, or taking incremental steps toward long-term, financial goals.
Interestingly, Thanksgiving weekend has become an increasingly popular time for real estate research. Families can gather around the table and begin discussing the future, including moving to a new city, upgrading their home, or purchasing an investment property. Digital tools like web searches and virtual tours can help buyers and sellers stay connected to the real estate market without disrupting their Thanksgiving traditions.
Whether you are buying or selling, Thanksgiving offers an opportunity to reflect on the role of gratitude in real estate. For buyers, it’s about being thankful for the chance to find a home that meets their needs, even if the journey is challenging. For sellers, it’s a moment to appreciate the memories made in a home while looking forward to new opportunities.
For real estate agents and other industry professionals, Thanksgiving is a time to express gratitude to clients and colleagues, build stronger relationships, and highlight the human aspect of a business often driven by transactions alone.
If you are staying put this Thanksgiving, you have a chance to celebrate your current home, no matter its size or condition. Simple gestures like decorating with fall colors, rearranging furniture for a cozy feel, or preparing a special meal can deepen your connection to your space. Inviting neighbors, friends, or family to share in the festivities can reinforce the sense of community that makes a house a home.
Whether it’s the home you currently have, the one you’re searching for, or the one you are leaving behind, each holds a unique place in your life story. Take stock of the journey so far, recognize the progress made, and look forward to the possibilities ahead.
Digital Media
LGBTQ youth love TikTok. Does TikTok love them back?
Platform’s algorithm found to promote homophobia, violence
When Jocelyn was stuck inside during most of 2020, they did what any high school senior would do: scrolled through TikTok. They found themself on the hashtag #tiktokmademegay a lot. (To protect privacy, the Blade is opting to only use Jocelyn’s first name).
“At the time, I didn’t give it a lot of thought,” they say, acknowledging that most users viewed it as “more of a joke.”
Now a senior in college, where Jocelyn will graduate with a degree in Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies and Computer Science this spring, they have a more nuanced perspective. Nuanced enough to embark on a year-long independent thesis on the topic.
They still get that the hashtag is a joke, but probe into what lies behind it, noting a tension between the “the born-this-way narrative of sexuality essentialism” to the idea that “sexuality is socially constructed.” They also question the power this narrative gives to TikTok in its ability to surveil user data and identity.
What got Jocelyn so interested in it in the first place was the fact it was a conservative talking point being replicated by the queer community. Because, what amounts to a joke or an intellectual query for some, is a point of anxiety and fear-mongering for others.
The conservative think tank known for writing Project 2025, the Heritage Foundation wrote “How Big Tech Turns Kids Trans” arguing that “Digital spaces are ever more designed to promote sexual and transgender content.” This argument has incredible staying power and has been echoed by numerous far-right pundits like Oli London and Charlie Kirk.
It has also been referenced by lawmakers. Tennessee Sen. Marsha Blackburn (R) stated the Kids Online Safety Act (KOSA), bi-partisan legislation she co-sponsored restricting youth access to social media, was meant to “protect minor children from the transgender [sic] in our culture.”
TikTok has faced numerous challenges over the years. From Montana’s currently unsuccessful ban on use in its state to the “divest-or-ban bill” signed by President Joe Biden in April or the lawsuit brought by more than a dozen attorneys general in October—it is clear there is a broad coalition of U.S. lawmakers concerned about the app.
These acts—which cite both national security and youth mental health—come in conjunction with a larger movement to limit youth access to social media—locally, nationally, and internationally.
Data security experts and some legislators state that the national security risk of the app is only hypothetical due to the fact TikTok houses U.S. user data in the states. There are pressing concerns about the safety of user data, explains Shae Gardner, the policy director at LGBT Tech. Focusing those concerns entirely on one platform due to a hypothetical risk rather than the widespread, real risks across multiple platforms is disingenuous.
“Proponents [of this ban] have been saying that this is urgent and necessary to protect the data of Americans,” says Gardner, “But we have been asking for years for nationwide data privacy protections, and watching the efforts die over and over again on the legislative vine.”
In fact, Gardner argues, “Regulating one application is both legally dubious and will ultimately be ineffective in doing so.” Gardner explains that though LGBT Tech is not involved in any legislation against the ban, which other tech policy groups are, they hold the shared belief that it is unconstitutional to target a single platform rather than the wider ecosystem.
The risk to youth mental health, which has also been cited as a major concern, is more complicated. Best sellers like the highly critiqued “The Anxious Generation” argue that all youth mental illness is linked to social media. The data doesn’t back this up, argue numerous experts.
Amid the panic, LGBTQ advocates have passionately argued that queer youth’s access to technology is uniquely beneficial due to a lack of education and community in the physical world. The Trevor Project identified TikTok as the platform where LGBTQ youth felt most “safe and understood.”
Data largely backs this up. A systematic review from 2022 found that “social media may support the mental health and well-being of LGBTQ youths through peer connection, identity management, and social support.” The review noted that more research is needed, noting that their results may be limited by weak evidence due to factors like small sample sizes.
Celia B. Fisher, the Marie Ward Doty University Chair in Ethics at Fordham University, was able to gather a larger sample by conducting a national survey of more than 500 on Instagram. With that reach, explains Fisher, “you’re more likely to get a fuller view of what’s going on nationally.”
“There’s an anonymity with national surveys,” adds Fisher, “[It] brings different people to answer questions that they may not want to talk about to somebody in person.”
In March 2024, she published the peer-reviewed article “Social media: A double-edged sword for LGBTQ+ youth” in the Journal “Computers in Human Behavior.” Many results agreed with the larger narrative of online spaces as refuges and community-building spaces. “It’s a wonderful place when they can find the appropriate sites,” says Fisher.
Jocelyn, the student researcher, echoes this. “Many of the videos I have come across discuss how the comfortability of the queer spaces on TikTok was part of the reason they felt comfortable enough to come out and explore their sexuality.”
When youth drift into non-welcoming territory, the story is different.
Fisher’s research finds that more than 80% of youth are exposed to discrimination either directly or vicariously (watching others being discriminated against) in the last month. Fisher wrote, “between 40% and 63% of all youth met the criteria for moderate levels of depression, anxiety, and substance use disorder (SUD).” Youth who described high exposure to discrimination had higher levels of depression, anxiety, and SUD.
The hate does not simply come from the run-of-the-mill bully finding a classmate online. “Algorithms expose them to these things,” says Fisher.
“If an algorithm sees that you’re interested in RuPaul… Then it begins its work on figuring out other sites that may be attached to similar interests. But as it moves on, it begins to add the heterosexist and transphobic types of posts.”
The fact that the algorithms that govern our tech can be sexist, racist, and homophobic is old news and highly studied, but it continues to have compounding impacts. Media Matters for America found in 2021 that TikTok’s algorithm specifically promotes homophobia and anti-trans violence.
Jocelyn also worries about handing over the power of identification and community to an algorithm. In addition to the #tiktokmademegay, other users promote the idea that “TikTok knows things about themself before they know it.” This rhetoric is “scary” says Jocelyn, because “handing over the keys of self-identification to an algorithm that we have no idea how it works is not something that feels right.”
Gardner echoes the complex views on the state of social media. Outside of her day job as a policy maven, Gardner is a TikToker under the handle @shaeitaintsoo, where she shares educational content about LGBTQ issues.
“These spaces also allow for a lot of queer joy and a lot of authenticity in a way that makes me proud to be a part of this community,” she says. At the same time, backlash is part of the job. The success of TikTok’s moderation has ebbed and flowed during her four years as a public figure on the app.
Gardner emphasizes that “hatred and harassment do not live in algorithms.” The discrimination faced online is replicated bigotry from offline spaces. Social media can amplify and distribute the bigotry in new ways. “It is the responsibility of the platforms to be making significant efforts to ensure that the replication is not then also multiplied and made ten times worse.”
Gardner sees the backlash as a “tale as old as time” that has been replicated without much evidence onto emerging technology. “I’m not saying that tale is not rooted in some element of truth. But this, this didn’t start with TikTok, I would push back against language that seems to think it will end with TikTok.”
In the meantime, Gardner implores those worried to not lose sight of the most important concerns.
“If your concern is that [kids and teens] are spending too much time in online spaces. What are you doing to create safe, physical ones for them?” Gardner asks.
(This story is part of the Digital Equity Local Voices Fellowship Lab through News is Out. The lab initiative is made possible with support from Comcast NBCUniversal.)
Dodge Igloo Kool Tunes Cooler
Mixing beats with brews, Dodge offers a combined cooler and boombox ($296), with two built-in speakers, LED status indicator, charging port and Bluetooth pairing. You can rock your tunes for up to 10 hours on a single charge. Capacity: 26 (12-ounce) cans.
Lexus Flask and Tumblers
Add some spirit—or spirits—to the holidays with a Lexus High Camp Parkside Flask ($140). The stainless steel, vacuum-insulated container has a chic cypress-green finish and can hold the temperature of a full bottle of wine for up to 24 hours. Two tasteful tumblers—inspired by classic stemless wine glasses—fit on the top and bottom of the flask.
Ferrari Baby Romper Outfit
For swaddling any newborns in the family, there’s a festive Ferrari romper ($150). This outré outfit—made of 100% cotton—has the automaker’s famous Prancing Horse emblem on the front and comes with matching baby bib. Expect plenty of pitstops ahead!
Ferrari Plush Pump Shoes
For more prancing, though this time as an adult, Ferrari has a pair of patent-leather pump shoes ($1,291). Available in black, red, or cream, these preening pumps are designed with a square toe, red lining and natty-looking red pull at the heel. Made in Italy, naturalmente!
Rolls-Royce Cufflinks
How to up your sartorial game even more? Spirit of Ecstasy cufflinks ($900) from Rolls-Royce are crafted in 925 sterling silver, with choice of either a rhodium-plated or dark-ruthenium finish. And pricing is a bargain, considering the average MSRP of a brand-new Rolls today is $500,000.
Kia Flashlight and Electric Lighter
For outdoor adventures, Kia has a waterproof, rechargeable LED flashlight with built-in electric lighter ($38). The compact flashlight is less than four inches long and come in three modes: full power, half power or—for all of us disco queens—pulsing strobe. And the tail of the flashlight opens up into a windproof lighter. Lanyard and micro-USB cord included.
Cadillac Cabana Towel
Some automakers see everything in black and white — literally. The Cadillac cabana towel ($37), with retro-groovy yarn-dyed stripes, is made of 100% microfiber polyester and measures 60×72 inches.
Cadillac Crew Socks
Cadillac also has a pair of sporty, fully knitted black-and-white crew socks ($59). Bonus: the classy cardboard presentation box.
Ford Warriors in Pink Mug
The Warriors in Pink Mug ($20) from Ford is part of the automaker’s longtime initiative to help fight breast cancer. Both the Susan G. Komen and Pink Fund each receive 5% of the purchase price of the mug, as well as any other Warriors in Pink merchandise.
Maserati Aero Pen
Need some motivation to start writing holiday cards? Maserati has the Pininfarina Aero pen ($140), with a futuristic design that evokes the infinity symbol. Made of aerospace aluminum, this super cool pen comes with an attractive base in unrefined concrete, along with a customized box.
Dodge Dodgeball
Let off some steam and release your inner Ben Stiller or Vince Vaughn with this aptly named Dodge ball ($17). Made of performance rubber and measuring 8.5-inches wide, this red dodgeball comes with the automaker’s logo emblazoned in white.
Bentley Napkin Rings
Ringing in the New Year just got a lot more la-di-da with a pair of Bentley napkin rings ($97). The diamond-shaped knurling pattern echoes the elegant design on the grillwork, console and upholstery of glam Bentleys. The automaker’s emblem is laser-engraved on the underside of the napkin rings. Available in nickel-plated metal or gold-plated zinc alloy.
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