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QUEERY: Maj. Brian Dix

The former Marine Band director answers 20 gay questions

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Brian Dix, gay news, Washington Blade
Brian Dix, gay news, Washington Blade

Maj. Brian Dix (Photo by Sgt. Bobby J. Yarbrough; used with permission from the United States Marine Corps)

Major Brian Dix came to Washington in May 1984 with the Marine Corps and at the end of last year, retired as director of the Commandant’s Own — United States Marine Drum & Bugle Corps. He was only the fourth director of the group since its 1934 founding.

During his 16 years directing the Corps, he wrote original compositions such as “Reveille,” a swing march dedicated to wounded warriors, “Birth of a Drum Corps” for the 75th anniversary of the Corps and “Corpsman Up,” a march dedicated to the Navy corpsman who served alongside the Marines.

He received many personal decorations for his work including the Navy-Marine Corps Commendation Medal, the Navy-Marine Corps Achievement Medal with gold star for heroic achievement and a Navy Certificate of Commendation for his volunteer work at the National Naval Medical Center.

The 54-year-old Newark, N.J., native also says it was a thrill to be in Washington for so many historical events.

“I was there when ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ came into law and Paul and I were there when DADT was dissolved,” he says. “One day the Supreme Court said, ‘Hey guys, go get married.’ And we did.”

Dix and Paul Andrews were together six years prior to their September 2012 wedding. They’re taking their time traveling around the country in an SUV en route to their new home in San Diego where Dix plans to pursue “different avenues in music.”

Dix enjoys music, yard work and reading about world affairs in his free time.

 

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I don’t think I was ever “in.” I never hid my persona during a lifelong military career. When the nation steered toward a different course regarding relationships and marriage, it seems like a non-issue to come “out.” It was simple. Actually, it was very simple especially with Paul, a terrific partner along with friends and colleagues who never judged.

 

Who’s your LGBT hero?

The Supreme Court

 

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present? 

Probably during my younger years, Badlands was the place to be. Friday and Saturday nights was the best escape for a younger guy to dance the night away. Many times, my straight Marine buddies would tag along to dance and to meet girls. And they did meet some nice women. What a great place at the perfect time.

 

Describe your dream wedding.

Mission complete. My husband Paul and I were married in our community of Capitol Hill at the Hill Center. We both resided near Eastern Market for many years and knew this was the perfect venue. The Old Navy Hospital was the ideal location due to Paul being a nurse, and of course, my Navy-Marine Corps side. The Rev. Cara Spacarelli from Christ Church married us in front of a large group of family, friends and friendly professionals.

 

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

Hunger. Too many people within local communities go without daily meals. This is where people can make a difference through monetary or subsistent donations to local food banks. Feed your neighbors. This makes a huge difference.

 

What historical outcome would you change?

The Cuba embargo should have been lifted years ago. It’s a rewarding moment to see America back on the right track of good neighboring. This sets a good example for future generations.

 

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

The last episode of “The Carol Burnett Show.” It was the great finale of an entertainment era.

 

On what do you insist?

No cell phones during a conversation.

 

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

My husband and I are currently traveling to San Diego via the rest of America in our retirement “victory lap.” The drive has brought us to places we have always wanted to visit where they are all clearly documented on Facebook. I have a terrific photo at Johnny Mercer’s gravesite, which should be up this week. For the non-gays who might read this, go look up Johnny Mercer.

 

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“My Feet Have Wings”

 

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

Don’t alter a thing. People’s identities are what make this world spin. Nature is wonderful in this way.

 

What do you believe in beyond the physical world? 

Music

 

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

Keep the momentum going and don’t stop.

 

What would you walk across hot coals for?

Paul

 

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

I spent the better part of my life supporting and defending people’s freedoms. Be yourself. Nothing really bothers me.

 

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

“The Birdcage” of course. A laugh-out riot. I saw it in the theater with my straight Marine buds who fell on the floor laughing.

 

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Texting before a phone call.

 

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

Handwritten letters from my Marines.

 

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

That it all works out.

 

Why Washington?

Paul and I enjoyed every moment of our time in Washington, D.C. To personally witness its transformation toward its current gentrified state has been a pleasure. And, to be aboard our nation’s capital during so many moments of history starting from the Reagan era, every presidential inauguration, to births and memorials, all while history unfolded. Some of which, we were part of. What a great place during a great time.

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Celebrity News

Rob Reiner, wife killed in LA home

Director was prominent LGBTQ ally

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Rob Reiner and Michele Singer Reiner attend the Human Rights Campaign Los Angeles Dinner on March 30, 2019. (Photo by kathclick/Bigstock)

Rob Reiner, most known for directing untouchable classics like “The Princess Bride,” “Misery,” “When Harry Met Sally…,” and “Stand by Me,” died Dec. 14 alongside his wife, Michele Singer Reiner, in their Los Angeles residence. While investigations are actively underway, sources have told PEOPLE Magazine that the pair’s son, Nick Reiner, killed his parents and has been taken into custody.

Reiner was a master of every genre, from the romantic comedy to the psychological thriller to the coming-of-age buddy movie. But in addition to his renowned work that made him a household name, Reiner is also remembered as a true advocate for the LGBTQ community. In 2009, Reiner and his wife co-founded the American Foundation for Equal Rights, helping fight against California’s Prop 8 same-sex marriage ban. They were honored at the 2015 Human Rights Campaign Las Vegas Gala.

In a statement, HRC President Kelley Robinson said: “The entire HRC family is devastated by the loss of Rob and Michele Reiner. Rob is nothing short of a legend — his television shows and films are a part of our American history and will continue to bring joy to millions of people across the world. Yet for all his accomplishments in Hollywood, Rob and Michele will most be remembered for their gigantic hearts, and their fierce support for the causes they believed in — including LGBTQ+ equality. So many in our movement remember how Rob and Michele organized their peers, brought strategists and lawyers together, and helped power landmark Supreme Court decisions that made marriage equality the law of the land — and they remained committed to the cause until their final days. The world is a darker place this morning without Rob and Michele — may they rest in power.” 

Reiner’s frequent collaborators have also spoken out as the industry is in mourning, including figures like Ron Howard and John Cusack.

A joint statement from Jamie Lee Curtis and Christopher Guest (who starred in Reiner’s “This is Spinal Tap”) reads: “Christopher and I are numb and sad and shocked about the violent, tragic deaths of our dear friends Rob and Michele Singer Reiner and our ONLY focus and care right now is for their children and immediate families and we will offer all support possible to help them. There will be plenty of time later to discuss the creative lives we shared and the great political and social impact they both had on the entertainment industry, early childhood development, the fight for gay marriage, and their global care for a world in crisis. We have lost great friends. Please give us time to grieve.”

While attending the 2019 HRC Los Angeles Dinner, Reiner spoke out about the need for equality: “We have to move past singling out transgender, LGBTQ, black, white, Jewish, Muslim, Latino. We have to get way past that and start accepting the idea that we’re all human beings. We’re all human beings, we all share the same planet, and we should all have the same rights, period. It’s no more complicated than that.”

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Photos

PHOTOS: The Holiday Show

Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington performs at Lincoln Theatre

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The Gay Men's Chorus of Washington performs at Lincoln Theatre. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington perform “The Holiday Show” at Lincoln Theatre (1215 U St., N.W.). Visit gmcw.org for tickets and showtimes.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

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Books

The best books to give this holiday season

Biographies, history, music, and more

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(Book cover images via Amazon)

Santa will be very relieved.

You’ve taken most of the burden off him by making a list and checking it twice on his behalf. The gift-buying in your house is almost done – except for those few people who are just so darn hard to buy for. So what do you give to the person who has (almost) everything? You give them a good book, like maybe one of these.

Memoir and biography

The person who loves digging into a multi-level memoir will be happy unwrapping “Blessings and Disasters: A Story of Alabama” by Alexis Okeowo (Henry Holt). It’s a memoir about growing up Black in what was once practically ground zero for the Confederacy. It’s about inequality, it busts stereotypes, and yet it still oozes love of place. You can’t go wrong if you wrap it up with “Queen Mother: Black Nationalism, Reparations, and the Untold Story of Audley Moore” by Ashley D. Farmer (Pantheon). It’s a chunky book with a memoir with meaning and plenty of thought.

For the giftee on your list who loves to laugh, wrap up “In My Remaining Years” by Jean Grae (Flatiron Books). It’s part memoir, part comedy, a look back at the late-last-century, part how-did-you-get-to-middle-age-already? and all fun. Wrap it up with “Here We Go: Lessons for Living Fearlessly from Two Traveling Nanas” by Eleanor Hamby and Dr. Sandra Hazellip with Elisa Petrini (Viking). It’s about the adventures of two 80-something best friends who seize life by the horns – something your giftee should do, too.

If there’ll be someone at your holiday table who’s finally coming home this year, wrap up “How I Found Myself in the Midwest” by Steve Grove (Simon & Schuster). It’s the story of a Silicon Valley worker who gives up his job and moves with his family to Minnesota, which was once home to him. That was around the time the pandemic hit, George Floyd was murdered, and life in general had been thrown into chaos. How does someone reconcile what was with what is now? Pair it with “Homestand: Small Town Baseball and the Fight for the Soul of America” by Will Bardenwerper (Doubleday). It’s set in New York and but isn’t that small-town feel universal, no matter where it comes from?

Won’t the adventurer on your list be happy when they unwrap “I Live Underwater” by Max Gene Nohl (University of Wisconsin Press)? They will, when they realize that this book is by a former deep-sea diver, treasure hunter, and all-around daredevil who changed the way we look for things under water. Nohl died more than 60 years ago, but his never-before-published memoir is fresh and relevant and will be a fun read for the right person.

If celeb bios are your giftee’s thing, then look for “The Luckiest” by Kelly Cervantes (BenBella Books). It’s the Midwest-to-New-York-City story of an actress and her life, her marriage, and what she did when tragedy hit. Filled with grace, it’s a winner.

Your music lover won’t want to open any other gifts if you give “Only God Can Judge Me: The Many Lives of Tupac Shakur” by Jeff Pearlman (Mariner Books). It’s the story of the life, death, and everything in-between about this iconic performer, including the mythology that he left behind. Has it been three decades since Tupac died? It has, but your music lover never forgets. Wrap it up with “Point Blank (Quick Studies)” by Bob Dylan, text by Eddie Gorodetsky, Lucy Sante, and Jackie Hamilton (Simon & Schuster), a book of Dylan’s drawings and artwork. This is a very nice coffee-table size book that will be absolutely perfect for fans of the great singer and for folks who love art.

For the giftee who’s concerned with their fellow man, “The Lost and the Found: A True Story of Homelessness, Found Family and Second Chances” by Kevin Fagan (One Signal / Atria) may be the book to give. It’s a story of two “unhoused” people in San Francisco, one of the country’s wealthiest cities, and their struggles. There’s hope in this book, but also trouble and your giftee will love it.

For the person on your list who suffered loss this year, give “Pine Melody” by Stacey Meadows (Independently Published), a memoir of loss, grief, and healing while remembering the person gone.

LGBTQ fiction

For the mystery lover who wants something different, try “Crime Ink: Iconic,” edited by John Copenhaver and Salem West (Bywater Books), a collection of short stories inspired by “queer legends” and allies you know. Psychological thrillers, creepy crime, cozies, they’re here.

Novel lovers will want to curl up this winter with “Middle Spoon” by Alejandro Varela (Viking), a book about a man who appears to have it all, until his heart is broken and the fix for it is one he doesn’t quite understand and neither does anyone he loves.

LGBTQ studies – nonfiction

For the young man who’s struggling with issues of gender, “Before They Were Men” by Jacob Tobia (Harmony Books) might be a good gift this year. These essays on manhood in today’s world works to widen our conversations on the role politics and feminism play in understanding masculinity and how it’s time we open our minds.

If there’s someone on your gift list who had a tough growing-up (didn’t we all?), then wrap up “Im Prancing as Fast as I Can” by Jon Kinnally (Permuted Press / Simon & Schuster). Kinnally was once an awkward kid but he grew up to be a writer for TV shows you’ll recognize. You can’t go wrong gifting a story like that. Better idea: wrap it up with “So Gay for You: Friendship, Found Family, & The Show That Started It All” by Leisha Hailey & Kate Moennig (St. Martin’s Press), a book about a little TV show that launched a BFF-ship.

Who doesn’t have a giftee who loves music? You sure do, so wrap up “The Secret Public: How Music Moved Queer Culture from the Margins to the Mainstream” by Jon Savage (Liveright). Nobody has to tell your giftee that queer folk left their mark on music, but they’ll love reading the stories in this book and knowing what they didn’t know.

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