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House hunting etiquette

The do’s and don’ts of looking for your next home

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house hunting etiquette, gay news, Washington Blade

Follow these common sense tips when house hunting.

It’s April, which means the spring real estate market is kicking into high gear. Lots of buyers and sellers wait until the spring to list their home or start their house hunting. With the market — and showings — at their peak in the next two months, we thought we’d share our top tips for house hunting etiquette.

We’ve learned over the years that following these basic rules of house hunting etiquette goes a long way in making sellers and their agents happy (and more inclined to accept YOUR offer). So here are our top DO’s and DON’Ts for house hunting etiquette this spring.

House hunting do’s

Know Your Budget. This one is essential. Take the time to get pre-approved for a mortgage before heading out. It does not help you to see homes you cannot afford. Stick to your budget.

Be On Time. This almost goes without saying but remember to be respectful of everyone’s time – your Realtor’s, the homeowners, the seller’s agent, as well as your own. There is a lot that goes on behind the scenes to set up showings and coordinate multiple schedules.

Leave the Kids at Home. When you get close to settling on “the” home, we will absolutely go back for a visit with the kids. However, when you are just starting out and touring homes and neighborhoods for the first time, line up a sitter. Doing so will allow you and your Realtor focus better and cover more ground.

Be Open to Going Shoeless. Most sellers won’t require you to take off your shoes, but be prepared. Leave the lace up shoes at home and wear slips ons.

Be Respectful of The Sellers’ Privacy. While opening closets and cabinets to check out the space is generally fine, avoid opening dresser drawers or examining family photos on the walls.

Mum’s The Word. As mom always said, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” This rule holds true when house hunting as well. The sellers may be within earshot (hello, nanny cams!) and you don’t want to offend them, especially if it’s a house you’re seriously considering. This goes the other way as well. If you love the house, play it cool. You wouldn’t want to tip your hand before the negotiations. Wait until you’re in the car with your Realtor to share your thoughts.

Take Lots of Notes. Be sure you take plenty of notes on the homes you are touring so you can debrief with your Realtor and any other decision-makers at the end of the day. Always ask permission (from one of the agents or the homeowner if they are present) if you want to take any photos of the home.

House hunting don’t’s

Look at Listings Above Your Budget. Doing so wastes everyone’s time and energy, from your agent to the sellers’ agent to the homeowners, who likely spend a fair amount a time preparing for each showing. Plus, seeing homes you cannot afford to purchase generally sets up unrealistic expectations in what you can purchase (and makes those you can seem like a let down).

Ask To Go Out Last Minute. 24 hours’ notice is typically best, especially when touring homes that are still occupied. We will always try to see what we can set up, but if you know you want to see a property, please give as much notice as possible to increase chances we can get in to see it.

Cancel at the Last Minute. On the flip side, don’t cancel on a whim. Your Realtor (and the seller) has done a great deal of legwork to set up your tour – coordinating the showings, mapping out a route. It takes more time to undo it all. So unless a true emergency, please don’t cancel on your agent at the 11th hour.

Block Access. This one is pretty common sense, don’t block the driveway or box in another car when parking at a house you are touring.

Bring Food or Drink into a Home You Are Touring. Again, it is common sense, but let’s avoid any risk of spilling a latte on the white carpet.

Bring an Entourage. Try to keep your group to no more than two or three. If your parents are coming to town and you want to go back to a property you are considering, we are always happy to accommodate. But try not to have visitors or casual friends tag along on your initial tours.

Go Solo. Once you have signed with a Realtor, do not tour any properties without your agent. It’s fine to attend Open Houses on your own, but always let the listing agent know you are working with a Realtor. Also, when in the home, stay with your Realtor while touring. Avoid wandering off on your own or letting your kids run around in the house.

Make Yourself at Home. This is not your home (yet). Please don’t stretch out on any sofas or beds or test out any recliners in homes you are touring. Likewise, please don’t let your kids grab items in the home or attempt to play the piano (we’ve seen it before!) or with toys around the house. This should also be an obvious one, but please don’t take anything from the home other than listing materials. You should also avoid using the home’s bathroom unless it’s a true emergency.

Don’t Stay TOO Long. Generally, unless a home is very large (or small), 30 minutes is plenty of time for a showing. Spending two hours there on an initial visit is not necessary and generally frowned upon by all. Also, avoid multiple visits without taking any action.

Show the Love. Do NOT tell the seller’s Realtor or the agent holding the open how much you love the home. You don’t want to tip your hand to the listing agent in any way.

The Bottom Line: Follow this basic house hunting etiquette to keep all parties happy. Follow the Golden Rule – treat others in the process as you would wish to be treated. Respect everyone’s time, privacy and requests. Trust us, agents prefer to work with other agents and homebuyers who are respectful and considerate.

If we can help you find our dream home this spring, please reach out. We are always happy to help.

The Goodhart Group is McEnearney Associates’ top-producing team. In 2016, they helped 120 clients achieve their real estate goals. Led by Sue & Allison Goodhart, they have been named a Top Agent by both Washingtonian and Northern Virginia magazines. The Goodhart Group can be reached at 703-362-3221 or [email protected]. 

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Real Estate

Factors to consider when hiring an interior designer

It’s essential to have confidence in the professionals you engage

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(Photo courtesy of StatePoint)

(StatePoint) Ready to redesign your home? Whether you have only a vague notion of how you want your spaces to look or a very specific vision, relying on the expertise of a professional can help you bring your dream home to life. Before choosing and hiring an interior designer, though, be sure to take the following factors into consideration:

Style: Identify your style. Is it boho chic? Industrial? Maximalist? Many designers have their own signature look and preferences. It’s best to understand what vibe you want first, then search for a designer who aligns with that style.

Past client projects: One of the best ways to know whether a particular designer is the right fit for you is to review their past client projects. Ask to see their portfolio or review their finished projects on their website or socials. Also, take a look at reviews and testimonials to ensure their previous customers walked away satisfied with a job well done.

Budget: Communicate your budget in advance of work to confirm that you and your designer are on the same page financially. Your decorator will need this ballpark figure to get a handle on the scope of the project and to make design decisions accordingly. You should also use this conversation to understand their rates so you can decide whether you want to move forward.

Preferred vendors: It’s important that the interior designer you choose has preferred vendors that they work with. These are partners they’ve built strong relationships with that provide the same first-rate experience they do, and have streamlined processes in place. “A home renovation has so many moving parts. That’s why we try to take the hassle out of the process for designers and homeowners alike,” says Katie Zess, senior marketing manager and director of Renewal by Andersen’s Interior Designer Loyalty Program. 

Through the loyalty program, the full-service window and door replacement division of Andersen Corporation offers their program members exclusive access and rewards, including a “designer discount” they can share with their clients. Renewal by Andersen also offers designers a dedicated point of contact to ensure a smooth process that’s customized for your project from start to finish. To learn more, visit renewalbyandersen.com.

Before you begin your home renovation, it’s essential to have confidence in the professionals you hire. Be sure your interior designer has fostered partnerships that will streamline your redesign, and that their goals and budget aligns with yours.

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Real Estate

The LGBTQ real estate map is being redrawn

Affordability, higher mortgage rates reshaping where we choose to call home

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LGBTQ buyers are looking beyond Palm Springs and other popular queer destinations these days when searching for a forever home. (Photo by photojohn830/Bigstock)

For decades, the map of LGBTQ+ America was relatively easy to recognize.

New York. San Francisco. Los Angeles. Palm Springs. Provincetown. Fort Lauderdale and Wilton Manors.

These communities became LGBTQ+ destinations because they offered something that wasn’t always easy to find elsewhere: visibility, acceptance, community and the freedom to live openly.

But that map is changing.

Today’s LGBTQ+ homebuyers are navigating a housing market defined by high prices, elevated mortgage rates and affordability challenges. At the same time, remote and hybrid work, retirement and the growth of LGBTQ+ communities beyond traditional destinations are giving buyers more choices about where to live.

Increasingly, the question isn’t simply, “Where are the most LGBTQ-friendly places to live?”

It’s also: “Where can I find community and afford the life I want?”

That shift may become one of the defining LGBTQ+ real estate trends of the coming decade.

Affordability Is Changing the Conversation

For many buyers, the biggest issue in today’s housing market is simple: the monthly payment.

The average 30-year fixed mortgage rate was 6.95% in mid-September, compared with 6.26% a year earlier, according to Freddie Mac.

Meanwhile, the median price of an existing U.S. home reached $429,100 in August, according to the National Association of Realtors.

The combination of elevated home prices and higher borrowing costs has changed what many Americans can afford—and where they can afford it.

Some buyers are purchasing smaller homes or condominiums. Others are moving farther from major urban centers. Still others are reconsidering expensive markets entirely.

For LGBTQ+ buyers, this is helping broaden the definition of an LGBTQ+-friendly place to call home.

LGBTQ+ Buyers Have More Choices

A generation ago, relocating away from a major city or established gay neighborhood could sometimes mean sacrificing access to a visible LGBTQ+ community.

That’s increasingly less true.

Traditional LGBTQ+ destinations such as Palm Springs, Fort Lauderdale and Wilton Manors, San Francisco, New York and Provincetown remain important centers of LGBTQ+ life. But today, LGBTQ+ buyers can also find established or growing communities in cities across the country.

Places such as Minneapolis, Columbus, Pittsburgh, Richmond, Atlanta and the Tampa Bay area are among the markets attracting buyers who may be looking for a different balance of housing costs, lifestyle and community.

The goal isn’t necessarily to find the cheapest house.

It’s to find the right combination of affordability, LGBTQ+ community, lifestyle, employment opportunities, healthcare, culture and quality of life.

Remote and hybrid work have expanded those possibilities for some buyers. If a job no longer requires being in an expensive employment center five days a week, the geographic search for a home can become considerably larger.

That can make communities that once seemed impractical suddenly worth considering.

Retirement Is Redrawing the Map, Too

Retirement is another important part of the changing LGBTQ+ real estate landscape.

As more Americans reach retirement age, LGBTQ+ retirees are considering where they want to spend the next chapter of their lives. Housing costs, taxes, healthcare, climate and proximity to airports, restaurants and cultural activities all play a role.

But LGBTQ+ retirees may have additional questions.

Will I feel comfortable living openly?

Is there an LGBTQ+ community nearby?

Can I find LGBTQ+-affirming healthcare?

Will I have opportunities to build a social network as I get older?

Those considerations can make choosing a retirement destination particularly personal.

Palm Springs and Fort Lauderdale/Wilton Manors remain well-known LGBTQ+ retirement destinations. But retirees are also exploring smaller cities and communities across the Southeast, Midwest and other regions where housing costs and lifestyles can look very different.

For many, the search is becoming less about moving to a famous gay destination and more about finding a place where community, lifestyle and affordability intersect.

Buyers Finally Have More Leverage

There is another significant change in today’s housing market: buyers have regained some negotiating power.

The National Association of Realtors reported 1.62 million existing homes for sale in August, up 5.9% from a year earlier. That represents approximately 4.9 months of housing supply, the highest level in more than a decade.

Realtor.com also reported that 20.4% of active listings had experienced a price reduction in August.

That’s a very different environment from the pandemic-era housing market, when buyers in many communities faced bidding wars, waived inspections and offers well above asking price.

Depending on the market, today’s buyer may have more time to evaluate a property and greater opportunity to negotiate price, repairs, closing costs or other concessions.

But there is an important caveat: there is no single national housing market.

Conditions can vary dramatically from one city—or even one neighborhood—to another. Some markets remain competitive, while others have considerably more inventory and negotiating room.

That’s one reason local expertise matters.

Sellers Need a Different Strategy

The changing market also has implications for LGBTQ+ homeowners considering selling.

Strategies that worked several years ago may not work today.

Buyers are highly sensitive to monthly payments, and an overpriced home can quickly be passed over when competing properties are available.

Sellers should pay close attention not only to recent comparable sales but also to homes currently competing for the same buyer.

Condition matters, too.

Repairs, landscaping, staging and professional photography can make a meaningful difference when buyers have more choices. Pricing correctly from the beginning has also become increasingly important.

More Than 30 Years Serving the LGBTQ+ Community

One part of buying or selling a home hasn’t changed: the importance of working with a real estate professional who understands your priorities.

For more than 30 years, GayRealEstate.com has served the LGBTQ+ community, connecting buyers and sellers with LGBTQ+ and allied real estate professionals throughout the United States.

Over that time, the GayRealEstate.com network has supported more than $2 billion in real estate sales and more than 55,000 transactions.

Behind those numbers are thousands of people making one of life’s most personal decisions: where to call home.

For LGBTQ+ buyers, that conversation can involve much more than bedrooms, bathrooms and price per square foot. It can include community, acceptance, healthcare, family, retirement, lifestyle and the ability to live openly.

An experienced LGBTQ+ or allied real estate professional can understand why those considerations belong in the real estate conversation.

Finding Home in a Changing America

The 2026 housing market presents real challenges.

Mortgage rates remain elevated. Home prices are high. Affordability continues to strain buyers across much of the country.

But there are also signs of a more balanced market. Inventory has increased. Price reductions have become more common. Buyers in many markets have regained negotiating power.

And for LGBTQ+ Americans, something else has changed: there are more places to consider calling home.

The next great LGBTQ+ destination doesn’t necessarily need the country’s largest Pride celebration or its most famous gay neighborhood.

It could be a smaller city with a growing LGBTQ+ community, attainable housing, good healthcare, strong cultural amenities and a quality of life that leaves room for travel, retirement or simply enjoying the home you’ve worked hard to own.

Ultimately, today’s LGBTQ+ real estate search increasingly comes down to three questions:

Where can I afford the life I want?

Where will I find my community?

And where will I feel at home?

The answers are becoming more varied—and that’s helping redraw the map of LGBTQ+ America.


Scott Helms is with GayRealEstate.com.

GayRealEstate.com has served the LGBTQ+ community for more than 30 years, connecting LGBTQ+ homebuyers and sellers with LGBTQ+ and allied real estate professionals across the United States. Its network has supported more than $2 billion in real estate sales and more than 55,000 transactions.

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Real Estate

Moving presents a chance to ‘clean house’

Leave some of the old you behind

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Moving is a good opportunity to shed the old and make way for the new. (Photo by Basilico Studio Stock/Bigstock)

One of the biggest headaches of the new home process is the actual moving part. By the time someone is buying a home, most people are beyond the “I just need a pickup truck, a pizza and a case of beer for my friends.” 

If that is still someone’s preferred way to move, that’s great. However, many people find they need a much more robust plan. It can also trigger a lot of feelings about items one owns, what to do with them, do they have too much, should I keep this memento that I never use? Etc. 

Moving is a chance for a person to “clean house” literally, figuratively, spiritually and energetically. A person can figure out which items they want to keep, and which need to go. As someone who recently moved across the country, I can speak to this experience. It’s also time for what people call “the fresh start effect.” This phenomenon, according to psychologists, can happen in little moments (like the start of a new work week) and bigger moments (such as moving from one home to the next).  

The fresh start effect offers these benefits often mentioned by psychologists:

  • Mental Accounting: Dates act as chapter breaks, letting you put past failures into a previous period.
  • Psychological Distance: You separate your flawed past self from your aspirational future self (“That was the old me”).
  • Optimism Boost: New beginnings clear mental clutter and increase your sense of agency and control

Does this mean that “the new you” will be the perfect version you envisioned? Probably not. We are humans. But it might mean you get a chance to “leave some of the old you behind” within the walls you used to live in, and now have a chance to have a new layout, a new décor, a new color pattern, new wallpaper, donate old furniture and books or magazines, throw out clothes you no longer use or fit in, and enjoy the opportunity to literally use the, “Does this spark joy?” method that was made so popular by Marie Kondo in her Netflix series.  

So, for all its hassle and headache, moving is a chance to shake off the “old you” and try on the new you, to incorporate the items you would like to keep and use more of, and shed the items, habits, and ways of thinking that you feel no longer serve you. 

I can speak to the experiences that several of my clients had when they moved from a previous residence to a newer one. It usually coincided with a change in relationship status, a change in employment, a change in family size, but sometimes it just seemed to correlate to a new attitude and perspective that the client was really hoping for. 

I have literally had clients come to me after the fact, in tears, that they were so happy they made the decision to move out of a situation that no longer served them, and move into one that felt like a much better fit. 

Change can be annoying and overwhelming at times, but usually most people come out the other side, not wanting to return to the way they were before. 


Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with RLAH. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].

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