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Locals compete for $100,000 dream wedding

Couple’s moms join the campaign for votes in national contest

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Darin Henderson and Carl Cox (Blade photo by Michael Key)

To celebrate the legalization of same-sex marriage in the District, Freedom2Wed is sponsoring a contest to give one lucky gay couple the wedding of a lifetime.

From hundreds of entries nationwide, six couples have been chosen to compete for the top prize. Among the finalists are Carl Cox, 43, and Darin Henderson, 46, a local pair who hope to represent their hometown as the winners. If they get the most online votes, they’ll receive a wedding package sponsored by area businesses that’s worth $100,000 and includes everything from rings to an all-inclusive ceremony and reception.

The event’s chief organizer, Michael Kress, photographer and owner of MBK & Associates, believes that the compelling stories of the diverse finalists “collectively emphasize why same-sex marriage is a historic marker for civil rights in this country.”

Together for four years, Cox and Henderson, who found each other on Match.com, have always valued open communication. When they initially started talking online, Cox was honest about not being ready for a long-term relationship — but Henderson was undeterred.

On their first date, Cox ventured from Baltimore to meet Henderson and the two enjoyed an unexpectedly intimate dinner at Blues Alley in Georgetown.

“Darin was persistent and extremely likeable,” Cox says.

After hitting it off that night, they started dating, and with time Cox became less guarded.

“[Darin] was gentle and took down my wall one brick at a time,” Cox says. “He was honest, made himself available, treated me with respect, and was completely invested in every moment we were spending together. It was something I wasn’t accustomed to.”

Henderson never doubted that Cox was worth the effort. A little over a year before they met, Henderson had a series of small heart attacks and was diagnosed with congestive heart failure.

He was out of work for six months and over that time, he reflected on what he wanted out of life. When he returned to work healthy, he was ready to embrace something entirely new.

“It was the right time for me to meet him,” Henderson says. “He offered a balance to me. I’m more serious and Carl is the funny one, always kidding around and cracking jokes.”

Henderson was especially attracted to Cox’s humble personality.

“He’s so warm and genuine, and he has such a big, kind heart,” Henderson says. “Carl would give the shirt off his back to anyone. He’s a passionate and loving person. Even when he was trying not to display that to me, it’s what I felt.”

After splitting their time between both cities for two years, Cox moved to D.C. The couple now lives in their Northeast Washington home near Union Station, along with their boxer, Cody, and cat, Buddy. They were engaged this January.

“We wanted to wait until [marriage] was legal in our hometown,” Henderson says.

While vacationing in Puerto Vallarta, Cox sealed the deal by getting down on one knee and proposing to Henderson. Although they were already domestic partners and had exchanged rings, they still wanted to celebrate with their loved ones.

“Getting married is so important to me because when I am 60 or 70, I want to have that memory of when I told him how much I loved him in front of our friends and family,” Henderson says.

Declaring their love with family in attendance is non-negotiable for these self-proclaimed “mommas’ boys.” Their mothers, who appeared in the video entry for the contest, were more than happy to vouch for how much the couple deserves to win.

Henderson’s mom, Cherrie Henderson, insists that Cox, who calls her “Momma Two,” has always been like a son to her.

“It was comfortable from the start. We have a lot of fun together and they include me in a lot,” she says. “They compromise, share everything, and look out for each other. If I could have a relationship like that, I would be so happy.”

To do her part, Cherrie Henderson has been tirelessly campaigning for the couple in her hometown of Richmond, Va. She’s been calling and sending letters to gay bars, posting fliers and handing out contest details. Unbeknownst to the couple, she also wrote “The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” promising she’d dance for the TV host in exchange for getting the word out about the couple.

Cox’s mom, Nancy Cox, of Annapolis, Md., is pulling for them to win because “it would give them the opportunity to have something they can’t have on their own,” she says. She says she’s inspired largely by the couple’s honesty.

“They’re special because they are who they are. There’s nothing phony about them.”

Blessed with a supportive network of family and friends, Cox and Henderson have always been open about their sexual orientation.

“I’ve never been ashamed of who I am, so I tote my flag, so to speak,” Henderson says.

Both men try to stay involved in LGBT causes. Cox, who owns Baltimore-based design firm Incite Creative, Inc., does pro bono work for organizations like Moveable Feast, a meal delivery service for homebound people living with AIDS. And Henderson, a director of operations for Xerox, is a member of the company’s LGBTA employee caucus. He also testified before D.C. City Council on behalf of same-sex marriage, earning him major points with Cox.

“I was proud of him then and am proud of him today,” Cox says. “As a result of his testimony and that of hundreds of others, marriage equality can now be enjoyed and protected here in D.C. … a place we call home.”

Counting the days until they walk down the aisle, Cox and Henderson are hoping that with the votes of the local community, they’ll have the wedding they always dreamed of.

Regardless of the outcome, they’re just happy that Freedom2Wed is celebrating the diversity of love on a national scale.

“The contest is putting the word out, telling the world that we have every right to express our love,” Cox says. “Marriage is about two individuals who want to share their lives with each other, and it doesn’t have to be between a man and a woman. Win or lose this competition, that’s the main message to get out there. Love is love.”

To vote for the couple, visit freedom2wed.com. Votes will be accepted through Sept. 30.

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Autos

Revving up the holidays with auto-themed gifts

Lamps, mugs, headphones, and more for everyone on your list

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Here’s how to shift your holidays into high gear.


Bentley Bottle Stopper

Pop your cork—in a good way—with a Bentley bottle stopper ($106), made of zinc alloy with chrome plating and rubber rings. The classy design is inspired by the automaker’s iconic “Flying B” mascot from 1930. 


Subaru Motorsports Counter Stool

Belly up to the bar with the Subaru Motorsports Counter Stool ($175). The 30-inch-tall metal chair—with padded vinyl cover and automaker logo—is lightweight and swivels 360 degrees. 


BMW Luxe Luggage 

You won’t have trouble spotting this chic khaki-green BMW M Boardcase ($307) at airport baggage carousels. The high-performance “M” logo is etched on the durable polycarbonate casing, as well as on the main compartment zipper and all four of the sturdy double wheels. Comes with recycled lining, along with laundry and shoe bags. 


Ford Yoga Gym Bag

The Ford Yoga Gym Bag ($15) has a wide handle and button strap to securely carry a yoga mat, as well as convenient pockets to stow water bottles and shoes. Made of black polyester, with reflective silver Ford logo. (Yoga mat not included.)


Kia Mini Lamp with Speaker/Sound

It doesn’t get much more Zen than a Kia Mini Lamp with Speaker and Sound Machine ($50). Made of bamboo, sturdy plastic and a fabric grill, the tiny wireless lamp has LED lighting with three settings. Pair with your phone to choose from eight soothing sounds: brook noise, bird chirp, forest bird, white bird, ocean wave, rainy day, wind and fireside.  


Lexus Green Pro Set

Practice makes perfect with the Lexus Green Pro Set ($257), a putting mat with “train-track markings” to help improve any golfer’s alignment. Lexus logo on the wood frame with automatic ball return. 


Lamborghini Wireless Headphones

Turn on, tune in, drop out—well, at least at the end of a hectic day—with these Lamborghini Wireless MW75 Headphones by Master & Dynamic ($901). Batteries last up to 32 hours or up to 28 hours in active noise-canceling mode. 


BMW Quatro Slim Travel Tumbler

The BMW Quatro Slim Travel Tumbler ($23) lives up to its name: sleek, smooth and scratch-resistant. Comes with leak-proof lid and non-spill design. 


Ford Vintage Mustang Ceramic Mug

Giddy-up each morning with the Ford Vintage Mustang Ceramic Mug ($29). With cool blue stripes, the 14-ounce mug features a silver handle and iconic pony emblem. 


My First Lamborghini by Clementoni

Proving it’s never too early to drive an exotic car, My First Lamborghini by Clementoni ($62) is for children ages two- to four-years old. Kids can activate the remote-control car by pressing the button on the roof or by using the remote. This Lambo certainly is less expensive than an entry-level Huracan, which starts at $250,000.  


Rolls-Royce Cameo 

For adults looking for their own pint-sized luxury ride, there’s the Rolls-Royce Cameo ($5,500). Touted as a piece of art rather than a toy, this miniature collectible is made from the same solid oak and polished aluminum used in a real Rolls. As with those cars, this one even has self-leveling wheel-center caps (which operate independently of the hubcaps so that the RR logo is always in the upright position). 


Maserati Notebook

For those of us who still love the art of writing, the Maserati MC20 Sketch Note ($11) is an elegant notebook with 48 sheets of high-quality paper. The front and back covers feature stylish sketches of the interior of a Maserati MC20 supercar and the Maserati logo. Comes with saddle-stitched binding using black thread. 


Dodge Demon Dog Collar

If your pooch is more Fluffy-kins and less the guard dog you sometimes need it to be, then there’s the Dodge Demon Seatbelt Buckle Dog Collar ($30). Made of steel and high-density polyester with a tiny seatbelt-buckle clasp, the collar is emblazoned with devilish Dodge Demon logos. 


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Real Estate

In real estate, it’s déjà vu all over again

1970s and ‘80s volatility led to creative financing options

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In the 1970s and ‘80s, sellers used creative mortgage options to entice buyers. Some of those trends are appearing again now.

In the 1970s and 1980s, mortgage interest rates climbed into the double digits and peaked above 18%. With rates like that, you needed more than a steady job and a down payment to buy a home — you needed creative financing ideas. 

Today’s market challenges may look different, but the response has been surprisingly familiar: unusual financing methods are making a comeback, along with some new ones that didn’t exist decades ago. Here is a brief overview of the most popular tools from that era. 

Assumable Mortgages were available with FHA, VA, and USDA loans and, until 1982, even Conventional mortgages. They allowed a buyer to take over the seller’s existing mortgage, including its interest rate, rather than getting a brand-new loan, while compensating the seller for the difference between the assumed loan balance and the contract price.

Often, a seller played a substantial role in a purchase. With Seller Financing (Owner Carry) the seller became the bank, letting the buyer make payments directly to them instead of to a traditional lender.

One variation on Seller Financing was the Land Contract. The seller was still the lender, but the buyer made loan payments to the seller, who then paid his own mortgage and pocketed the difference. The buyer would receive equitable title (the right to use and occupy the property), while the seller kept the title or deed until the contract was paid off or the property sold.

With Wraparound Mortgages, the seller created a new, larger loan for the buyer that “wrapped” around the existing mortgage at an agreed-upon rate. The buyer would then pay the seller, who would continue making mortgage payments on the existing balance, collecting payments and pocketing the spread. Whether title conveyed to the buyer or remained with the seller was negotiated between the parties. 

Unlike an assumption, when buying a home Subject To an existing mortgage, the buyer took title to the property and agreed to pay the seller’s mortgage directly to the lender plus any equity to the seller; the mortgage stayed in the seller’s name. Now, most mortgages have a Due on Sale clause that prohibits this kind of transaction without the expressed consent of the lender. 

Rent-to-Own was also a popular way to get into a home. While a potential buyer rented a property, the seller would offer an option to purchase for a set amount to be exercised at a later date (lease option) or allow a portion of the rent collected to be considered as a downpayment once accrued (lease purchase).

Graduated Payment Mortgage (GPM) loans were authorized by the banking industry in the mid-1970s and Adjustable Rate Mortgages (ARM) surfaced in the early 1980s. Both featured low initial payments that gradually increased over time. 

With the GPM, although lower than market to start, the interest rate was fixed and payment increases were scheduled. A buyer could rely on the payment amount and save accordingly. 

ARMs, on the other hand, had interest rates that could change based on the market index, with less predictability and a higher risk of rate shocks, as we saw during the Great Recession from 2007-2009.

While mortgage rates today aren’t anywhere near the extremes of the 1980s, buyers still face a tough environment: higher prices, limited inventory, and stricter lending standards. That combination has pushed people to explore tried and true alternatives and add new ones. 

Assumable mortgages and ARMs are on the table again and seller financing is still worth exploring. Just last week, I overheard a colleague asking about a land contract.

Lenders are beginning to use Alternative Credit Evaluation indicators, like rental payment history or bank cash-flow analysis, to assess borrower strength when making mortgage loan decisions.

There are Shared Equity Programs, where companies or nonprofits contribute part of a down payment in exchange for a share of the home’s future appreciation. With Crowdfunding Platforms, investors pool money online to finance real estate purchases or developments.

Another unconventional idea being debated today is the 50-year mortgage, designed to help buyers manage high home prices. Such a mortgage would have a 50-year repayment term, rather than the standard 30 years, lowering monthly payments by stretching them over a longer period.

Supporters argue that a 50-year mortgage could make monthly payments significantly more affordable for first-time buyers who feel priced out of the market. Critics, however, warn that while the monthly payment may be lower, the lifetime interest cost would be much higher.

What ties the past and present together is necessity. As long as affordability remains strained, creative financing – old and new – will continue to shape the way real estate gets bought and sold. As with everything real estate, my question will always be, “What’s next?”


Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her at [email protected] or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.

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Real Estate

Could lower rates, lagging condo sales lure buyers to the table?

With pandemic behind us, many are making moves

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Condo sellers may offer buyers incentives to purchase their home. (Photo by Grand Warszawski/Bigstock)

Before the interest rates shot up around 2022, many buyers were making moves due to a sense of confinement, a sudden need to work from home, desire for space of their own, or just a general desire to shake up their lives.  In large metro areas like NYC, DC, Boston, Chicago, Miami and other markets where rents could be above $2k-$3k, people did the math and started thinking, “I could take the $30,000 a year I spend in rent and put that in an investment somewhere.”  

Then rates went up, people started staying put and decided to nest in the new home where they had just received a near 3% interest rate.  For others, the higher rates and inflation meant that dollars were just stretching less than they used to.  

Now – it’s been five  years since the onset of the pandemic, people who bought four years ago may be feeling the “itch” to move again, and the rates have started dropping down closer to 5% from almost 7% a few years ago.  

This could be a good opportunity for first time buyers to get into the market.  Rents have not shown much of a downward trend. There may be some condo sellers who are ready to move up into a larger home, or they may be finding that the job they have had for the last several years has “squeezed all the juice out of the fruit” and want to start over in a new city.  

Let’s review how renting a home and buying can be very different experiences:

  • The monthly payment stays (mostly) the same.  P.I.T.I. – Principal, Interest, Taxes and Insurance – those are the four main components of a home payment.  The taxes and insurance can change, but not as much or as frequently as a rent payment. These also may depend on where you buy, and how simple or complex a condo building is.
  • Condo fees help pay for the amenities in the building, put money in the building’s reserve funds account (an account used for savings for capital improvement projects, maintenance, and upkeep or additions to amenities)
  • Condos have restrictions on rental types and usage – AirBnB and may not be an option, and there could be a wait list to rent.  Most condo associations and lenders don’t like to see more than 50% of a building rented out to non-owner occupants.  Why?  Owners tend to take better care of their own building. 
  • A homeowner needs to keep a short list of available plumbers, electricians, maintenance people, HVAC service providers, painters, etc.
  • Condo owners usually attend their condo association meetings or at least read the notices or minutes to keep abreast of planned maintenance in the building, usage of facilities, and rules and regulations.  

Moving from renting to homeownership can be well worth the investment of time and energy.  After living in a home for five years, a condo owner might decide to sell, and find that when they close out the contract and turn the keys over to the new owner, they have participated in a “forced savings plan” and frequently receive tens of thousands of dollars for their investment that might have otherwise gone into the hands of a landlord.  

In addition, condo sellers may offer buyers incentives to purchase their home, if a condo has been sitting on the market for some time. A seller could offer such items as:

  • A pre-paid home warranty on the major appliances or systems of the house for the first year or two – that way if something breaks, it might be covered under the warranty.
  • Closing cost incentives – some sellers will help a cash strapped buyer with their closing costs.  One fun “trick” realtors suggest can be offering above the sales price of the condo, with a credit BACK to the buyer toward their closing costs.  *there are caveats to this plan
  • Flexible closing dates – some buyers need to wait until a lease is finished.
  • A seller may have already had the home “pre-inspected” and leave a copy of the report for the buyer to see, to give them peace of mind that a 3rd party has already looked at the major appliances and systems in the house. 

If the idea of perpetual renting is getting old, ask a Realtor or a lender what they can do to help you get into investing your money today. There are lots of ways to invest, but one popular way to do so is to put it where your rent check would normally go. And like any kind of seedling, that investment will grow over time. 


Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals. He can be reached at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].

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