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Same-sex couples seek Va. marriage licenses

Campaign for Southern Equality’s “We Do” campaign ended with march to D.C.

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marriage equality, gay marriage, same-sex marriage, Virginia, Misha Gibson, Ivy Hill, Arlington County, gay news, Washington Blade
marriage equality, gay marriage, same-sex marriage, Virginia, Alyssa Weaver, Mike McVicker, Arlington County, gay news, Washington Blade

From left; D.C. residents Alyssa Weaver and Mike McVicker, who are from South Carolina, apply for a marriage license outside the Arlington County Courthouse on Jan. 17. (Washington Blade photo by Michael K. Lavers)

More than a dozen same-sex couples from across the South gathered outside the Arlington County Courthouse on Thursday to apply for marriage licenses.

Gays and lesbians from Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, Tennessee and North and South Carolina submitted applications to Arlington Circuit Court Clerk Paul Ferguson in the complex’s plaza. A constitutional amendment that Virginia voters approved in 2006 defines marriage as between a man and a woman in the commonwealth, but those who participated in the action described their decision to take part as symbolic.

“We’re here to resist the unjust laws that label us as second class citizens and to call for full equality on the federal level,” Ivy Hill of Piedmont, S.C., told the Washington Blade after she filled out a marriage license in the complex plaza.

She and her partner of more than two years, Misha Gibson, recently became engaged.

“I’m here today to request a marriage license and knowingly being denied, but doing that to make sure that people know that we’re equal,” Gibson said. “I’m doing it to fight for my civil rights.”

Beth Schissel and Sally White of Atlanta joined four other same-sex couples who tried to apply for marriage licenses in Decatur, Ga., earlier this month.

White, who lived in Richmond for 30 years, joked with the Blade after Ferguson declined to issue them a marriage license she traveled to Virginia with her partner as a way to celebrate her birthday on Saturday.

“I’m a pediatric ER doctor,” Schissel said with tears in her eyes. “I take care of your children and take care of the sick and injured and I served my country. I went to the Air Force Academy and I served my country on active duty and yet I can’t have all the rights that are afforded me under that word marriage under federal law. So it’s a slap in the face type of feeling and it hits you deep in your core.”

The Arlington protest was the last in a series of actions organized by the Campaign for Southern Equality to highlight a lack of marriage rights for same-sex couples in the South and to urge the federal government to extend full equality to LGBT Americans.

The “We Do” campaign kicked-off in Hattiesburg, Miss., on Jan. 2 when five gay and lesbian couples applied for marriage licenses. Others followed suit in Mobile, Ala., Morristown, Tenn., Greenville, S.C., and three North Carolina cities before traveling to Virginia.

“We all live here in the South and we’re Southern folks,” Rev. Jasmine Beach-Ferrara, executive director of the Campaign for Southern Equality, who is also an ordained minister with the United Church of Christ in Asheville, N.C., told the Blade in an interview earlier this month. “This is where we live and we’re working with LGBT folks in small towns and cities across the region who are ready to stand up for equality — federal equality in new ways.”

She stressed her group’s approach to highlight the lack of marriage rights for same-sex couples below the Mason-Dixon Line reflects a broader strategy.

“We do feel like because this is the region where discriminatory laws are most deeply enshrined in state law, it creates a really powerful and unique opportunity to revisit those laws by using peaceful, direct action,” Beach-Ferrara said. “What we’re doing with the ‘We Do’ campaign is folks are taking action in their local communities to resist these state laws, to show what happens when they’re actually enforced. They’re typically invisible because they’re so rarely enforced, if at all. And so the general public is sort of insulated from the reality that we live with day in and day out as LGBT folks in the South, which is these laws exist, but when they’re actually enacted and enforced there’s an opportunity to talk about what that actually means and how that hurts real people and real families.”

Matt Griffin and Raymie Wolfe of Morristown, Tenn., who have been together for more than seven years, sought a marriage license in their hometown on Jan. 9.

Wolfe told the Blade before he and his partner tried to obtain a Virginia marriage license that they were “met with good humor” when they tried to do the same in Tennessee. He noted the clerk said it was the first time a gay couple had ever applied for a marriage license in the town — she did reaffirm the Tennessee does not recognize nuptials for gays and lesbians.

“What we wanted to do was kind of illustrate for people and ourselves what happens when we do that,” Wolfe said. “That’s kind of unprecedented. That was my hometown. It’s where I grew up and as a gay kid there, I kind never imagined that i would be going to a courthouse with a partner and applying for a marriage license.”

Same-sex couples gathered in Arlington three days after a Virginia House of Delegates subcommittee voted against a proposal that would have repealed the state’s constitutional ban on same-sex marriage.

Neighboring Maryland is among the nine states and D.C. that allow gays and lesbians to tie the knot. North Carolina voters last May approved a constitutional amendment that defined marriage as between a man and a woman by a 61-39 percent margin, while Minnesota voters on Election Day rejected a similar proposal.

The upcoming oral arguments before the U.S. Supreme Court in cases challenging the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act and California’s Proposition 8 also weighed on the minds of the same-sex couples who applied for marriage licenses and those who witnessed them do so.

“I’m very sympathetic to what the people who came before me today are trying to do and I am happy that there’s other jurisdictions where they can go to have their marriage licenses processed,” Ferguson, who is a former member of the Arlington Board of Supervisors, told the Blade. “There’s a Supreme Court decision coming up and so that will add some clarity to a lot of these peoples’ marriages, which is what they were looking for.”

Tim Young and Mark Maxwell of Winston-Salem, N.C., legally married at the Jefferson Memorial after they and other same-sex couples who had sought Virginia marriage licenses marched from Arlington to the nation’s capital.

“We live our lives in a way where we are not denied anything and we are open to being prosperous and successful,” Young, who has been with Maxwell for 20 years and raised four boys with him, said. “We’ve educated ourselves. We run a business so we pay taxes in that state and we give our money to that state, but we don’t have the same rights as other people and we believe in equity and equality.”

Beach-Ferrara noted her group made a deliberate decision to end their latest campaign in D.C.

“It’s in a lot of ways a small, intimate group, but of folks who traveled on a journey that’s symbolic in a lot of ways in the sense that if you live in the South, you need to travel to Washington, D.C., before you can be recognized as an equal citizen,” she said. “The journey folks have taken sort of helps to illustrate the legal realities that LGBT folks live with, which is you are a second class citizen until you reach the Washington border.”

Marriage equality, gay marriage, same-sex marriage, Virginia, Misha Gibson, Ivy Hill, Arlington County, gay news, Washington Blade

Ivy Hill of Piedmont, S.C., fills out a marriage license outside the Arlington County Courthouse on Jan. 17. (Washington Blade photo by Michael K. Lavers)

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Comings & Goings

Charles Roth joins board of Pride Bands Alliance

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Charles Roth

The Comings & Goings column is about sharing the professional successes of our community. We want to recognize those landing new jobs, new clients for their business, joining boards of organizations and other achievements. Please share your successes with us at [email protected]

Congratulations to Charles Roth on his appointment to the board of directors of the Pride Bands Alliance, the national and international organization for LGBTQ bands. On his appointment Roth said, “I am beyond humbled, and excited, to join the Board of Directors of Pride Bands Alliance at the national / international level for LGBTQ+ band organizations.  The mission of promoting diversity, inclusivity, community, and pride through music is something I have always held very close to my heart.  I very much look forward to working with this amazing organization and team, to keep that visibility alive and well, and to help foster and expand it even more across our country.”

Roth is the 2025 Guest Drum Major for The Queer Big Apple Corps, and former Marching Band Artistic Director for D.C.’s Different Drummers. Under his leadership, DCDD expanded its presence in and around our nation’s capital, featuring high-profile performances including at the National Cherry Blossom Festival Parade, Smithsonian Institute, World Pride 2019, and two special appearances at the Naval Observatory, home of Vice President Kamala Harris. He is the Team DC LGBTQ Student Athlete Scholarship Chair, and board member.  He is a band director in Alexandria City Public Schools, and teaches middle school band at a Title I, International Baccalaureate School, where he built an award-winning program.  

Congratulations also to Amira McKee and Chinanu Okoli, named by The Association of LGBTQ+ Journalists as recipients of the 2024 Phillips-Green Family Scholarship. These scholarships provide financial assistance to two CONNECT participants to support their participation in the CONNECT Student Journalism Training Project, and help launch their careers as young journalists.

“We are so excited to be partnering with the Phillips-Green Family Fund,” said NLGJA Executive Director Adam Pawlus. “Thanks to their generosity, we are thrilled to continue our support for young journalists whose work exemplifies our mission of creating a fairer and more diverse field of journalism.” 

The CONNECT Student Journalism Training Project provides real-world, hands-on experience to students or recent graduates pursuing a career in journalism. The Phillips-Green Family Fund aims to provide organizations with financial assistance that work toward the education and well-being of women, children, and families. Their support helps make it possible for students in financial need to participate in our CONNECT program.

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District of Columbia

A D.C. AIDS story: ‘I couldn’t have survived without you guys’

Old friends reunite as mystery of Kilbourne Place memorial stones is solved

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Three gay men are memorialized in stones placed along Kilbourne Place in Mount Pleasant. (Blade photo by Michael Key)

‘Red Reminds Me’
Seven videos reflecting the spectrum of living with HIV
Sunday, Dec. 1, 4-9 p.m.
David Bethuel Jamieson Studio House at Walbridge
3229 Walbridge Place, N.W.
Washington, D.C.
Reserve free admission on Eventbrite

In the tradition of my family, funerals are not somber affairs cloaked in black garb. We call them “celebrations of life” where through our tears we laugh and reminisce about the dead. At the end, we all gather either in the basement of a church or a matriarch’s house where over a spread of rich, decadent food, we rejoice in the fact that our dead relative shed the chains of their flesh and transcended to the next phase. With bellies full, the kids run outside and play with each other and the adults would drink and trade stories. The repast is my fondest memories of childhood. It was a time when I could see family members separated by distance and eat collard greens simmered in smoked turkey and mac and cheese so cheesy that it solidified into a brick when cold. 

Never would I have imagined that a repast would occur at Don Juan’s on the corner of Mt. Pleasant and Lamont. Instead of collard greens and mac and cheese, I dined on cheese pupusas with curtido. This occasion solidified the importance of a chosen family. While none of us were related by blood, we were related through one thread: AIDS. The story of the Kilbourne Memorial Stones is an AIDS story in which through unraveling the lives of Robert Rockershousen, Jakob Efsen, and Charles Winney, we received a glimpse into the impact of AIDS within D.C.’s gay community. A community that is often overshadowed by New York City and San Francisco when the early years of the epidemic are discussed.

When the Blade published my story “Unraveling mystery of the Kilbourne Place memorial stones” in August of 2023, Charles Winney’s story was still untold. What I did find out about him was through scouring public records but, no one stepped up to eulogize him. My friend, Peter Stebbins, knew of my struggles to locate a source for Charles and motivated me to continue fighting for him. In June of this year, I told Peter that I knew of Charles’s partner, Larry Martin, who lives in Provincetown, Mass. Between the years of 2022 and 2023, I reached out to Larry through multiple means, but I received no response. Peter being a Provincetown regular since the 1980s, was adamant that he knew someone who knew Larry and could get him in contact with me. I cautioned Peter that this might not have been a good idea. I interpreted Larry’s silence as not wanting to reopen an old wound.

Undeterred, Peter found a mutual friend on Facebook and reached out to Larry; 48 hours later, a relationship formed between Larry and me. Through phone conversations and in-person interviews, he brought me into the world of Larry & Chuck (Charles). From their beginnings as a young couple in Baltimore through their years on 1747 Kilbourne Place, they built an intricate and intimate web of community that reminded me of the communal affection I received from my family. There was this sense of “through thick and thin” that allowed them to stand in the gap for others within their community that were affected by AIDS. Larry told of how he and Chuck used to host dinners and care for those who were dying. They did it because they cared, and it was important to their identity as gay Christians to be of service of others.

In our many conversations, Larry alluded to the identity of who placed the stones. He hinted at the fact that it was a communal effort, and it wasn’t some lone solitary figure. Excitedly, I wanted to immediately put the story out, but he suggested for me to wait until he brought in his two friends, Mark Lambert and John Koran. Mark was Chuck and Larry’s roommate on Kilbourne Place. He was one quarter of the “Golden Girls,” which consisted of Mark, his friend Robbie, Larry, and Chuck. Together, they hosted large parties on the property that included parties for Pride. John was Robert’s best friend and roommate. Like Larry, I reached out to John through multiple avenues, but we did not connect.

Within a week, we were sitting at Don Juan’s drinking and breaking bread. While it was my intention to keep the group interview as formal as possible, I became enraptured in the camaraderie and nostalgia that permeated the air. Among these men with their graying hair and wrinkles, I again felt like that kid at the repast listening in on the adults. Larry officiated in a manner that was reminiscent of a patriarch. He corralled us all together in a group chat and laid the foundation for us to gather. Although the initial goal was to find out more information about Chuck, that moment laid bare the reality that these men belonged to a fraternity where they were hazed by the devastation of the AIDS epidemic. They are AIDS survivors.

Allowing these men to convene and break bread in fellowship was a way to finally eulogize Chuck and also a way for them to have a repast for Jake and Robert. Their banter and inside jokes brought forth a youthfulness and exuberance that almost moved me to tears on a few occasions. They became the adults in my family who drank their liquor and slapped their knees in laughter as they reminisced about the good ol’ days. While the men gave their eulogies, it was revealed that Larry, John, and a few others decided to lay down the Kilbourne Memorial Stones. It was decided that now that these men were together, we should walk down to the stones and take photos. 

The men stood in front of the stones and on the porch of 1747 Kilbourne Place and they continued to laugh and tell stories while I snapped photos. We eventually parted ways and as I waited on the corner for a car to pass, I turned around and looked at the men for what may be the very last time. They were walking with their arms wrapped around each other like brothers. The scene reminded me of a discussion that was had at the dinner table less than an hour before. I asked the men if they believed their lives as gay men would be different during the epidemic if they didn’t have the support of each other. They all agreed in unison that their friendship was instrumental in their survival and Larry said among the nodding of heads, “I couldn’t have survived without you guys.”

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District of Columbia

D.C. Health Link insurance program makes care for people with HIV free

Deductible, co-payments eliminated under new policy

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D.C. Health Link insurance plans already cover PrEP but a new plan will make all HIV care free. (Photo by Bowonpat/Bigstock)

The executive board of the D.C. Health Benefit Exchange Authority, which arranges for D.C. residents and nonresidents employed in D.C. to obtain health insurance coverage, voted unanimously on Nov. 19 to make the treatment and long-term care of people with HIV free of charge if they are enrolled in one of the authority’s health insurance plans.

D.C. Health Link, an independent D.C. agency created by the Health Benefit Exchange Authority to carry out its health insurance program, announced the new HIV care policy in a Nov. 20 statement.

“Making HIV care free – meaning no deductibles, no co-insurance, no copays – will save lives,” said Diane C. Lewis, chair of the Health Benefit Exchange Authority’s board in the statement.

“Starting in Plan Year 2026, residents enrolled in a D.C. Health Link Essential Plan can get free primary care visits, free laboratory tests, and free generic HIV medication,” the statement says. “Visits that would otherwise cost up to $45 per visit and $55 per lab test will be free,” it says.

“Making primary care for HIV free will improve health outcomes,” the statement continues, noting that HIV disproportionately impacts communities of color. It points out that in D.C., 71 percent of people living with HIV are Black and 8 percent are Latino.

The statement also points out that nationwide at the end of 2022, “only 64 percent of the Black population with HIV was linked to care and 53 percent were virally suppressed, meaning their HIV was suppressed through treatment.”

In contrast, according to the statement, “70 percent of the white population with HIV was linked to care and 63 percent were virally suppressed.”  

The statement also notes that Whitman-Walker Health, the D.C.-based LGBTQ supportive health care provider and research facility, played an important role in helping the D.C. Health Benefit Exchange Authority develop the free HIV care program.

Mila Kofman, executive director of the D.C. Health Benefit Exchange Authority, explained that the authority created D.C. Health Link as part of D.C.’s participation in the federal healthcare program established by the U.S. Affordable Care Act, which was approved by Congress during the administration of President Barack Obama.

Kofman noted that like programs established by states under the Affordable Care Act, D.C. Health Link arranges for D.C. residents or non-residents who work in D.C. to obtain health insurance plans from private health insurance companies. Among those participating in the D.C. program are United Healthcare, Blue Cross-Blue Shield, and Kaiser Permanente, Kofman said.

Like all private health insurance plans, Kofman said people participating in the plans arranged by D.C. Health Link must pay a monthly premium for their plan. She said the premiums vary based on the amount of coverage participants select in choosing a specific plan and reduced premiums are available for people depending on their income.  

She said that due to the highly complex process for making policy changes for health insurance, which includes a review and approval by the D.C. Insurance Commissioner, the process takes a little over a year to complete. Thus, the new “free” HIV care coverage will begin Jan. 1, 2026.

According to Kofman, existing D.C. Health Link insurance plans already cover the HIV prevention medication known as PrEP.

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