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Chef Patrick O’Connell offers lavish wedding prize

HRC to auction dream ceremony at Inn at Little Washington

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Patrick O'Connell, gay news, Washington Blade
Patrick O'Connell, gay news, Washington Blade

Patrick O’Connell in the kitchen at the Inn at Little Washington. (Photo by Gordon Beall)

Fourth annual Chefs for Equality

 

 

Human Rights Campaign

 

 

Tuesday, Oct. 20

 

 

6-9:30 p.m.

 

 

Ritz-Carlton

 

 

‘ReFRAin from Discrimination’

 

 

Tickets: $200

 

 

chefsforequality.org

 

 

The Inn at Little Washington

 

 

309 Middle St.

 

 

Washington, VA

 

 

theinnatlittlewashington.com

 

The Inn at Little Washington is a bit like the Meryl Streep of its domain: not wholly impervious to the occasional ranking slippage or so-so review, yet possessing so many across-the-board top awards and five-star raves, its reputation is beyond impeccable.

Top rankings from the 2015 Forbes Travel Guide, the American Automobile Association, Travel+Leisure and Le Chef Magazine, rave reviews from the Washington Post and D.C. Modern Luxury and a grand award from Wine Spectator (for the 21st consecutive year) are just the recent accolades. The coffee table book “The Inn at Little Washington: a Magnificent Obsession” made the New York Times bestseller list for “fashion, manners and customs” in May and offers sumptuous photos of the Inn’s lavish and gilded interiors.

Owned by chef/proprietor Patrick O’Connell, unofficially dubbed the “pope of American cuisine,” the Inn is in Washington, Va., located 67 miles southwest of Washington, D.C., in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains. It has 24 guest rooms, an 80-seat restaurant that has earned many top reviews from the most prestigious publications and a 13,000-bottle wine cellar. The Inn is open year round every night except Tuesday.

This year O’Connell is again participating in the Human Rights Campaign’s annual Chefs for Equality event on Tuesday, Oct. 20. But this year, for the first time, he’s offering an auction item in which attendees can win an all-inclusive wedding package including dinner for 14 at the Inn with O’Connell himself officiating.

Over tea one sunny and quite warm afternoon in early September, O’Connell spent an hour reflecting on his career, the price of being out and how he has maintained the Inn’s reputation over the decades. His comments have been slightly edited for length.

 

Patrick O'Connell, gay news, Washington Blade

A gazebo and outdoor dining just off the main dining room at the Inn at Little Washington. (Washington Blade photo by Joey DiGuglielmo)

WASHINGTON BLADE: You became ordained just to offer this wedding package?

PATRICK O’CONNELL: I am not officially ordained at this time but my idea was that we could create a singular one-of-a-kind opportunity and offer it for the benefit of HRC that would be very hard to put a dollar value on. We thought it would be kind of fun and novel at the same time. We had begun to do some same-gender weddings — I always say same-gender rather than same-s-e-x weddings because I think for the public at large, that’s a far more appropriate term. I think if we had used that language rather than using s-e-x, we would have come along much further, much faster.

 

BLADE: Why?

O’CONNELL: It’s a loaded word. What’s the first thing you think of when you think of sex? The act, right? I think it was referred to as such by our detractors knowing that it would have charged, negative significance. But gender is gender. It’s uncharged. So I guess we had the first same-gender wedding in Rappahannock County at the Inn and we managed to discover that there was a judge who was not only open to do it, but was also a tribal member and it was delightful in every way. That was about two years ago. Then we had a few others. … I realized it was not a complex matter to be an officiant — I never intended to enter the ministry, although I do a lot of ministering just in my role as an employer. But in general I shy away from labels because I think they are limiting and work against people and can be very damaging. They always reduce an idea or a concept into one word and that’s kind of silly.

 

BLADE: But don’t we need them on some practical level?

O’CONNELL: Well, no question. It helps. But I think we’re all more than one word and capable of being many things. … I rather like the term healer, which encompasses nourishing and nurturing people. Looking after their well being. Ministering to them, et cetera.

 

BLADE: Did being out (O’Connell founded the Inn with his former partner whom he eventually bought out) ever hurt you?

O’CONNELL: Oh, it almost had me murdered on numerous occasions. Yes, the hostility was venomous. There was a small contingent of locals who were feeling very much that something extremely foreign was happening in their midst when we started. They were unable to understand what we were about and then the fact that the business took off immediately and became successful started bringing in what were to them outsiders. There are people who felt they belonged here because they were born here and then there are outsiders who are an unproven entity. And of course you have to think the worst because they’re untested. When you have a track record, when you’ve been some place for three generations, then you’re predictable.

 

BLADE: Isn’t it funny, though, when one of their own comes out?

O’CONNELL: Isn’t that the truth? Or you see how they try to integrate it or reconcile it. Or overlook it.

 

BLADE: How did the Chefs for Equality package come about?

O’CONNELL: We’ve always tried to be supportive (of HRC) and we wanted people of all genders to know that it was possible to have a marriage celebration here and that it is possible to be married here so we thought it would be wonderful to create a fantasy wedding and take care of all the details leaving the couple no worries of a financial sort or whether it would come off. A lot of the stress of a wedding is budget. How much up front? How much will this or that cost? … This takes all that away so all you have to do is come here and get married.

 

BLADE: How many gay weddings have you had here?

O’CONNELL: I think probably four or five. Some quite small. The biggest was probably 50 seated guests. Here it usually involves dinner and this one will as well. Although this is not limited by gender. Opposite-gender couples can bid on this item as well. We’re wide open.

 

BLADE: Will you continue to officiate at weddings here or is this a one-off?

O’CONNELL: Initially the idea was that I would make it available only once. We have a minister on staff who has done about 170 weddings here over 15 years. … He hasn’t performed same-gender yet but he’s open to that. … I’ve witnessed many of his ceremonies and it’s always charming when you have someone who’s rooted in the place where you are married and is comfortable there, not just somebody who walks in and has never been here before. I think it’s a nice touch to have the chef and owner of the property offer to do this and it would be a once-in-a-lifetime kind of situation. So therefore it certainly potentially adds value to the auction item.

 

BLADE: Has the Inn always had an LGBT clientele?

O’CONNELL: Always, yes yes yes. And probably more and more each year.

 

BLADE: Are gays harder to please?

O’CONNELL: Certainly not with weddings. Overall I think they’re among our most appreciative audience because they’re knowledgeable and focused on details and very responsive to the ambience. What’s a little strange for them sometimes is to be outside an urban environment altogether and so we take care to be sure that they’re completely comfortable here. We’re part of a European-based association called Relais & Chateaux and we have member properties in 52 nations so through that we see a lot of European guests. It’s a very nice thing to hear different languages being spoken in the dining room on a given night and to have this sense that you’ve escaped Washington (D.C.) in a way. We like to think of ourselves as a little foreign embassy out here. It’s out in nowhere land and sometimes you can lose a little of your baggage out here. … You feel much further from Washington than you actually are. … It has a good healing energy and I think people feel restored when they come here.

 

BLADE: Nobody can go 100 miles per hour all the time. How do you maintain such a high level over many years and not get burned out?

O’CONNELL: It’s complicated but also in a way very simple. Each day you have to find something that you can do better than you did the day before so you have some tangible sense of improvement and evolution and it becomes ingrained in your culture. The Inn has never stopped. It has continued to evolve since it was a garage. Almost every day we’ve succeeded in making some improvement. If we were to look back at a film of what we were like 10, 15, 20,25, 30 years ago, it would laughable for most people compared to where we are today… It’s performance art and you have to fine-tune it all the time and you have to be incredibly self critical. That’s what’s hard for people. No one likes to be brutally self critical, so we joke about it. We say things like, “We look like we almost know what we’re doing. One day we’ll have this down.” Basically we’re just real people but ordinary people trying collectively to do something extraordinary. As long as everyone subscribes to that theory, then that’s what’s called for and the only thing that’s going to work.

 

BLADE: How do you convey your vision to the staff?

O’CONNELL: You have to find ways to continue to energize your team, to continue to challenge them and give them something to dream about so you’re inspiring them all the time to not only do their best but, like a trainer might in a gym, if he can succeed in getting his client more than they can do on their own, then he’s providing value. It’s just like with any sport — swimming for instance, you want to shorten your time on a sprint or something like that. … I love hearing them when they come back and they’ve had these breakthroughs. Some of them are quite young but they realize that the progress they’re making here translates into anything else they do in life. I love it when a former staff person will come back and maybe they’re a successful lawyer in Washington or New York and they come back and say the reason my career took off the way it did its what I learned here, how I learned to read people, to intuit people, to think on my feet and be able to do five things at one time. My feeling is there should be a point in every young person’s life when they benefit from working in a restaurant. Not only do you get an appreciation for how hard it is — it is not easy work, it’s extremely taxing mentally and physically — but to be able to subtly control an audience while creating the illusion that the audience is controlling you, is fascinating.

 

BLADE: How many are on staff?

O’CONNELL: 140

 

BLADE: How much of the cooking do you actually do?

O’CONNELL: I’m in the kitchen every night and generally I’m in a position where I can watch from one vantage point what everyone is doing, like an orchestra conductor. They’re facing me and I’m facing them and there are no hiding places. You develop a sixth sense and you can feel when everything is on and when it’s going to be a good night.

 

BLADE: And when things go wrong?

O’CONNELL: With 140 people, there’s some sort of a personal crisis every day so you have to be sure they’re OK and see how it’s affecting the entire team. … You have to get all that out of the way or it’s going to have a negative impact. … Humor is my greatest tool and weapon. In the kitchen we can be as naughty and outrageous as we want to be. … It’s about not taking ourselves overly seriously. We can have a little fun but not lose focus.

 

BLADE: If you’re Robert De Niro, you can go back and watch “Raging Bull” if you want, or whatever. Food, though, is ephemeral. What kind of legacy can you build in an ephemeral medium?

O’CONNELL: I think sometimes the most beautiful things are the ephemeral ones. Those that can’t really be put into words or saved with a snapshot. I stopped taking pictures ages ago simply because they were never as good as reality. And there was never time to look at them. Rarely did I find one that did justice to the moment. Very often you’ll be reminded of an important occasion. You’ll hear that an experience was very important to a guest and maybe they’ll be on their deathbed reminiscing and they’ll have had an occasion here that was unforgettable. That’s very sweet, really, really nice. What more do you need? It’s why live theater has greater value than film. You can watch a concert on television but why is it that people when they sit there in an auditorium and listen to an entertainer sing, they feel ripped off when they’re lip syncing? Because it’s just not the same, it’s not in the moment. That’s what we offer and I really do believe that you reach people either consciously or unconsciously. Even if they don’t get all the details, they can feel them.

 

BLADE: Do the accolades bring with them a burden as well? The public comes with much higher expectations when they hear of all the accolades and ratings.

O’CONNELL: The staff always joked that I made the lies true. Early on I got a call from Craig Claiborne, he was the New York Times food writer, and he said, “Did you hear the news, the Zagat survey came out and you’re number one in America.” I said, “Yeah.” He said, “the number one resort.” This was shortly after we converted the garage. We never thought of ourselves as a resort. We had no amenities whatsoever. My first thought was that it must have been an error. Then I thought, “God, what am I gonna do?” So the next day I went out and bought two bicycles and that’s where that little slogan came from. You make the lies true. The next year they changed the category for inns and we were number one for inns so it was a little more appropriate. But yes, each of them heightens expectations and it’s hard to get that across to the staff. One food writer once said she would hate it if she were running a place and it was called the best in the world because then the simplest flaw that would not even be noticed or observed in a lesser restaurant would stand out in neon and that’s all anybody would remember. So in that regard, the clientele is less forgiving than they would be almost anywhere else and the expectations are greater, but in the end it’s always about how we make them feel. If we focus on that, on knowing each person is different and has to be reached, then it’s not overwhelming.

 

BLADE: Has it benefitted you in the long run being rather isolated out here?

O’CONNELL: I think you see from studying other restaurants you do see chefs and proprietors buckle under the pressure of being held up on this incredible pedestal. Because of course the media typically plays the game of putting them up there and then shooting them off. So we’ve been fortunate in that we’re like an old tree that grew year by year by year. We didn’t just open the doors and skyrocket because what happens very often in those situations is they get locked in and they’re so busy that all they can do is maintain. Being here in the country, we usually have a quiet few weeks in the winter, weekends are the same, but we have some very quiet weeknights that can be these wonderful opportunities to regroup and plan and strategize and reinvent ourselves. Also living out here has created a balance. We don’t go discoing after work like we might if we were in the city. You take a walk, you walk the dog if you have one, you look at the moon. You take a few deep breaths. You might read a little. You learn to hate television. Then you have a pretty good night’s sleep listening to the crickets. I think it helps create longevity and it’s a fabulous antidote to the incredible intensity that goes on here. On a Saturday night when you might have two critics and a head of state and the pressure is just sort of throbbing, you can step out and it feels like it was just an illusion. I used to step out sometimes, my head would be spinning, and I’d look across at the neighbors and they’re porch sitting and you think, “Who has the better life?” But then you remind yourself not to get unbalanced by the intensity. It comes in a wave, then it dissipates.

 

BLADE: Do you get millennials here?

O’CONNELL: Yes. They come in the kitchen and say hi. And I say, “First time?” They say, “Yes, how’d you know?” “Because you’re so young!” They say their parents have been coming for a long time and that’s very sweet to hear. Not long ago a man came to propose and said he’d been coming here since he was 5. That was really sweet.

 

BLADE: Society overall has gotten so informal. People go everywhere looking like slobs. Do you see it here?

O’CONNELL: It is changing very perceptively. We used to have a sort of image of our client in our minds because that was the majority. A very well-coiffed woman in a Chanel suit who was extremely well traveled and mentored and schooled in social etiquette by somebody and it’s very different now. Then we had the computer generation and we had people showing up wearing tennis shoes without laces and you thought, “Well maybe they’ve had a foot operation,” but no. It was the idea of, “I’m a success in the computer world, in the IT world, why would I make any effort.” So that was all fine. We’ve always joked when asked if we had a dress code, we say, “Yes — no wet bikinis.” Sometimes you see Armani out in the finest restaurants in Europe and he wears just a black T-shirt. And he’s probably the richest man ever to walk in the place. The Italian and French idea is that you shouldn’t have anything imposed on you. It’s your personality and who you are and that’s acceptable. If you’re here, then you’re supposed to be here. You might be eccentric, you might be odd as hell, you might look like a banshee, but if you’re here then you’re somebody. … But it is a shame that so much of the culture is being lost as it’s being relaxed and supplanted by something else.

 

BLADE: What’s the last great meal you had in D.C.?

O’CONNELL: It isn’t quite that simple. It’s about what fit my mood perfectly at that moment and who I might have been with. It’s hard when you’re in the biz to turn off your critical faculty. It’s nice to take a poor friend or a 9-year-old child or someone for whom anything is going to be, “Wow, this is really fun,” because then you see it through their eyes. I dine out alone a lot and am quite comfortable doing that.

 

BLADE: Are you often recognized?

O’CONNELL: Often and that can be delightful except that you often end up eating more than you wanted to eat because you’re sent a little taste of this and that as a courtesy so it becomes a diplomatic occasion and something that has another element to it. It’s fine if you’re in the mood for it like if it’s your birthday or something it’s OK, but if you just stopped in because you had low blood sugar and you couldn’t make it any further, then you have to be on and it’s your night off, so it can be tricky. But I’m very appreciative of the effort anyone makes who’s in this business because I know how hard it is.

 

BLADE: There’s a lot of back and forth about following one’s passions versus pursuing more practical career paths. As someone who’s done the former, what are your thoughts?

O’CONNELL: Culturally we have a very simple problem. America has led the way in attempting to convince people that there is only one goal and only one game and that is money. The minute you can free yourself of that and realize that that can greatly limit you and that there are many other sources of measuring achievement and success, then you’re open to pursue more of something from within and a direction that’s more true to yourself. My feeling has always been if you do what you love and find out what you love and work toward mastery, everything else will fall into place. You’re not going to have to worry about money, but mastery is something that requires a great deal of sacrifice and commitment and most people simply aren’t willing to make the sacrifice and the degree of commitment required. … There are ways to turn your liabilities into assets.

 

BLADE: Such as?

O’CONNELL: You look at a gay person who grows up and the first thing they have to do in my generation is disguise so they don’t get beaten or killed. Or at least hated and scorned and whatever. It was automatic. So that terrible adaptation is also a tremendous strength. You want me to play this? OK, I can play this. You master acting right off the bat. You had lemons and you made lemonade and you did what you could but you ultimately benefitted from it.

 

Patrick O'Connell, gay news, Washington Blade

Patrick O’Connell says slow growth over many years helped the Inn cement its stellar reputation. (Washington Blade photo by Joey DiGuglielmo)

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He loves Annie’s and will until the end

Mano continues to bring infectious passion to his job at iconic restaurant

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Mano remains a near constant presence at Annie’s. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

It’s rare for a restaurant to thrive for more than 75 years. Rarer still is a restaurant whose history is so deeply intertwined with the growth and resilience of a minority community. Annie’s Paramount Steakhouse in Washington, D.C.’s Dupont Circle is one of those exceptional places — a cornerstone not only for the city of Washington, but also for its vibrant queer community.

Several factors contribute to a restaurant like Annie’s becoming a foundational space of cultural and historical significance. Its welcoming atmosphere, fostered by a warm and inclusive staff goes beyond mere hospitality. The decor doesn’t just acknowledge Washington’s LGBTQ community — it proudly celebrates it. And, of course, the award-winning food and drinks leave a lasting impression, making Annie’s a true icon in the nation’s capital.

When walking down 17th Street, where Annie’s is located after 76 years (even after moving three blocks north of its original location on 17th in 1985), it becomes understandable how this stretch of street has always been the heart of the “gayborhood,” regardless of season or political administration. The rainbow flags on nearly every light pole and stickers in nearly every window signal this place is not only a safe space for the LGBTQ community, but a place where being queer is worth celebrating.

Annie’s Paramount Steakhouse has long been a beacon of unwavering support for the LGBTQ community, particularly during times when openly identifying as LGBTQ was met with societal stigma or worse. This dedication, which started back in 1948, has cemented Annie’s as more than just a restaurant — it’s a queer haven and cultural landmark.

Georgia Katinas, the general manager of Annie’s and granddaughter of Annie’s founder George Katinas, told the Blade supporting the D.C. LGBTQ community is a key part of running Annie’s.

“I see Annie’s as a pillar of the LGBTQ community, and it’s important to me to continue that legacy,” said Katinas. “Getting involved in our community in many different facets, supporting LGBTQ nonprofits and organizations, hosting kickball brunches, hiring LGBTQ/queer members of the community — all of that’s incredibly important to me, and it’s an honor. I take the family legacy very seriously, and I really am proud to continue it and to show up on behalf of my family and on behalf of the community and continue to be here.”

One of Annie’s unique legacies is its connection to the High Heel Drag Race, a beloved LGBTQ event on the Tuesday before Halloween. It started as a race between Annie’s and gay bar JR.’s in 1986, and has grown into a vibrant mini Pride celebration on 17th Street now managed by the mayor’s office.

Although it takes a collective effort to transform Annie’s into the James Beard Award-winning restaurant it is today, one server has stood out for decades. Since 1975, his infectious attitude and heartfelt care have made him a cornerstone of the Annie’s experience, drawing loyal customers back time and again.

Mano, with his instantly recognizable horseshoe mustache and ever-present smile, has been a key part of the institution that is Annie’s for as long as most regulars can remember. Hired as the first male staff member in 1975, Mano has remained a key face for the restaurant going back to when Annie herself served food on the dining room floor. 

“We treat every customer like a member of our family,” Mano told the Blade during a recent interview discussing his lengthy career in the restaurant. “Ninety-nine percent of the people feel like regulars, and that 1 percent are on their way to becoming them.” 

For 49 years, Mano has been a beloved fixture at Annie’s, his passion for the job evident to everyone around him — from coworkers behind the bar to guests in the booths. Known for gestures like cutting steaks for diners, Mano’s dedication once saw him working seven days a week, a testament to his love for being part of the Annie’s team.

“I feel every day better than the day before,” he said. “I love the people more than the day before. I look forward to loving them more. I can’t predict the future. The past is experience. Right now, at the moment, I am enjoying it.”

Despite his glowing appreciation for Annie’s, Mano has had to cut back from working at the restaurant as much as he once did. As he has grown older, Mano has slowly taken a day or two off from his work schedule. 

Katinas became emotional when reflecting on Mano’s history with the restaurant. 

“He wants the guests to have the perfect experience,” Katinas said. “He takes training very seriously. He has his own systems for how he counts money and uses the computer. He’s very particular but always so kind about it. When I watch him train new people now, I remember when he trained me. It’s very intentional and intense in moments because he cares so much.”

Mano’s presence and unwavering commitment to delivering impeccable service at Annie’s elevates him above many in the food service industry. His contributions also reinforce Annie’s cornerstone role in Washington’s queer history. When asked what sets his legacy—and by extension, Annie’s legacy within the LGBTQ community—apart from that of a server at any other restaurant, one word stood out in his response: respect. 

“Give yourself some respect,” Mano said. “Give them [the customers] all the respect you want for yourself. If you cannot respect yourself, you cannot respect anyone else. I am a mirror reflecting you. When you are sitting at the table, I am a mirror reflecting you.”

Mano (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Katinas explained Mano’s passion for Annie’s is infectious and has helped shape the culture of the restaurant. She also explained that his passion reflects how Annie ran the restaurant in years prior, with caring about people at its center.  

“He takes young servers under his wing,” Katinas explained. “He takes busboys who don’t speak the shared language, and he treats them with such compassion and generosity. Annie was someone who would always sit and talk with you. She would put her hand on your shoulder and really listen. And Mano does that too.”

“We’re all busy, we’re all running around, but Mano really will sit and take the time to get to know you and to listen to your troubles or happy moments, anything,” Katinas added. “He makes sure, even if he’s across the restaurant and someone walks in the door, he’ll yell ‘Welcome in!’ The sense of hospitality is in his blood.”

Not only is he one of the most passionate people in Annie’s at any given moment, but Katinas also highlighted that he cares about the people and history of Annie’s in a truly unique way.  

“He’s like the lighthouse captain,” she said, tearing up and smiling. “He has to be tethered to the building. He doesn’t get too far from it and is like, ‘No, no, I’m going to be at my post.’ He’s always there in the front, and everyone knows to expect him there.”

“He’s got a heart bigger than his entire body,” bar manager Scott Paxton chimed in. “He would do anything for just about anybody. He’s the first one to get here, he’s the last one to leave. He’s the most dedicated out of all of them. He’s always offering to help.”

“For a lot of us, he’s the first person that we met,” Paxton added. “This place has been here for a long time with a long legacy, but he is a big part of that legacy. And so you wander in here for the first time and he’s the person that you meet first.”

“You don’t know where to sit or who’s who, but you probably end up sitting with Mano in his section and so it sort of becomes like your home base,” he said. “There are hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people that come through here and that’s their first contact with anyone and people that request him. And 40 years later, they come in on Wednesday night and they want to see him.”

Mano’s final thoughts about the restaurant reflected what multiple staff and guests have made clear — he loves Annie’s and will until the end. 

“I wish them the best success,” Mano said pointing to Katinas, Paxton, and other staff working at the bar. “And they’re going to have it thanks to everybody, all these years of support for this place.”

Mano, center, with Annie Kaylor in 1985. (Washington Blade archive photo by Doug Hinckle)
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Local LGBTQ chefs share favorite Thanksgiving recipes

Happy holidays from Jamie Leeds, Patrick O’Connell, Mr. Bake and more

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From left, Jamie Leeds, Patrick O’Connell and Mr. Bake (Washington Blade photos by Michael Key and Joey DiGuglielmo)

Delightful dishes and cool cocktails are at least one guaranteed way to bring joy to Thanksgiving when the season may look challenging. This year, we asked prominent local LGBTQ chefs, mixologists, sommeliers, and restaurateurs to offer recipes and suggestions for Thanksgiving. 

Jamie Leeds, Hank’s Oyster Bar

Jamie Leeds (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

This recipe is the ultimate ode to Chesapeake Bay oysters, using both the oyster and its juice (known as the liquor) to season the stuffing. Leeds is a pioneer in the restaurant industry in Washington, D.C., and was also a a former Washington Blade Most Eligible Single.

Chesapeake Oyster Stuffing

(8 servings)

1 pint (approx. 24) Shucked Chesapeake oysters with liquor

1 cup Celery, small dice

1 cup Yellow onion, small dice

1 stick Butter

1 tsp Salt

1/2 tsp Old Bay seasoning

1/8 tsp Tarragon, fresh

1/8 tsp Thyme, fresh

1/2 tsp Lemon juice

4 Cups Bread, day old, 1”cubes

3 Tbsp Parsley, fresh, chopped

2 Each Eggs, beaten with 2 T water

Steps:

Strain oysters, reserving their liquid. Place oysters in a large mixing bowl with the cubed bread. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Coat the inside of a 2-quart (or slightly larger) baking dish with cooking spray.

In a 10-inch sauté pan, melt the butter and add celery and onions. Cook on medium heat until vegetables are tender, about five minutes. Add salt, thyme, tarragon and Old Bay seasoning, stir to incorporate. Add reserved oyster liquor and cook for 2-3 minutes. Remove from heat and cool to room temperature. Once cool pour over oysters and bread. Mix gently until moistened. 

Gently fold in the eggs, lemon juice and parsley until fully incorporated. Transfer to the baking dish, cover and bake for about 30 minutes, then remove the foil and bake for another 10 to 15 minutes, until top is browned. Can be prepared 1-2 days in advance and kept refrigerated before baking. Tip: If you do not have day-old bread, place cubed bread on a baking sheet and put in a 350 degree oven for about 10-15 minutes until the bread is crusty on the outside. Let cool completely before adding oysters.

Mr. Bake’s Award-Winning Banana Pudding

Kareem “Mr. Bake” Queeman (Photo courtesy of Capital Pride Alliance)

Kareem “Mr. Bake” Queeman is famous for not only his fabulous presence on social media and reality TV, but also his Banana Pudding, which is the perfect addition to your holiday table. In this recipe, the James Beard semifinalist baker and owner of Mr. Bake Sweets shares his award-winning banana pudding recipe that helped Kareem win his first-ever competition as a baker (the first of many!), and showcase it on the “Kelly Clarkson Show” this past Easter. This is Kareem’s variation on a Southern family recipe passed down by his late aunt Janet Wills.

This holiday dessert is a delicious combination of easy to find and affordable grocery store ingredients, and even includes an option to use store-bought pudding mix if you’re in a time crunch (just make sure to save time to put your pudding in the fridge). Just keep in mind that you’ll need to chilled a bowl in advance and a standard mixer to make sure you get that perfect fluffy texture in the pudding. If you’re feeling extra ambitious, you can make a homemade whipped topping or spring for store-bought in a pinch to add as a final topping on your pudding. Serve in bowls or eat it straight out of the bowl (we won’t judge) this pudding is sure to impress all season long.

Technique Tip:

● Make sure you chill your bowl and mixer attachments before whipping your

heavy cream into cream. This helps ensure the heavy cream whips up nice

and high, and won’t take as much time.

● Make sure the bowl isn’t touching the water when placing your custard bowl

over the double boiler. You’re using just the steam to cook, dissolve and

double your custard in volume.

● Temper your eggs into the cream make sure you add about a cup of the hot

into the egg mixture. This helps make sure you don’t cook and scramble eggs.

Swap Option:

● You can use all heavy cream or whole milk for Half and Half. (Half and Half is

equal parts heavy cream and whole milk)

● You can use Cool Whip if you don’t have heavy cream to make whipped cream

(use about 3 to 4 cups of Cool Whip)

Serving Size: Serves 12 to 15 people

Yield: Makes about 5 to 6 cups of custard.

Prep Time: Custard 6-8 minutes for cook and prep, 2 hour- overnight for chilling

3-6 minutes to whip and blend in custard into the sweeten whipped cream

6-10 minutes to assemble

30 min chill time in the fridge once everything is layered

Cook Time: 6-8 minutes

Serve and keep chilled and enjoy.

Hand mixer/stand mixer

Banana Pudding Trifle (From Scratch)

● 8 large egg yolks

● ½ cup granulated sugar

● 6 tablespoons cornstarch

● ½ teaspoon kosher salt

● 3 cups half & half

● 2 tablespoons pure vanilla extract

● 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, room temperature

● 14 oz can condensed milk

● 2 cups heavy cream

● 3 tablespoon confectioners sugar

● Vanilla wafer cookies 3 to 5 standard boxes (Nabisco preferred)

● 4-5 large bananas, sliced

● Optional: Whipped cream for topping

Preparation:

1. In a large heatproof bowl, whisk together egg yolks, sugar, cornstarch and

salt until well blended. The mixture will be thick and pale in color. Set aside.

2. In a medium saucepan, heat the half & half to a rolling boil (do not actually

boil). Remove pot from the heat.

3. Whisk 1 cup of the half and half into the egg-yolk mixture. Mix until

combined, then whisk in the rest of the half and half.

4. Set the bowl over a pot of simmering water (make sure the bottom of the

bowl doesn’t touch the water in the pot). Cook and whisk constantly, until the

mixture has thickened, 5 to 7 minutes.

5. Remove the bowl from the heat and whisk in vanilla until combined. Let the

mixture sit and cool, 2 to 3 minutes.

6. Whisk in the butter until it is melted and the pudding is smooth and silky.

7. Place a piece of plastic wrap directly on top of the pudding and let cool to

room temperature, about 30 minutes to an hour.

8. Whisk in the condensed milk and chill for 2 hours or overnight.

9. In the bowl of a standard mixer, use the whisk attachment to whip the heavy

cream on medium speed until it starts to thicken. Add the sugar and beat

until the cream holds stiff peaks. (Whipped cream should stand straight up

and stand in place when you remove your attachments.

10. Add the chilled pudding custard to the sweetened whipped cream, gently

folding it into each other.

11. To assemble the trifle, spoon 1/3 of the pudding into a glass trifle bowl. Top

with sliced bananas then wafer cookies. Repeat this process ending with

custard at the top, then add fresh sliced bananas, crushed wafer cookies and

fresh whipped cream (optional) as décor.

Executive Chef Harley Peet, Bas Rouge

As a longtime resident of the Eastern Shore and an avid waterman, seafood naturally takes center stage in Peet’s dishes. Holidays conjure warmth, and the very essence of comfort food is the pot pie. On the Eastern Shore, where salty air mingles with generations of watermen’s tales, the choice was clear. Sweet, tender lobster and delicate sea scallops elevate this timeless classic, where rustic tradition meets refined flavor and presentation in a dish that captures a sense of place.

Scallop and Lobster Pot Pie on a Scallop Shell

Yield: 4 servings

• 1 sheet puff pastry, cut into quarter-size circles

• 1 each egg

• 1 tablespoon milk

• 5 slices smokey bacon, cut into half-inch pieces

• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter

• 1/2 cup celery, small diced

• 1/2 cup onion, small diced

• 1/2 cup carrots, small diced

• 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

• 1 quart heavy whipping cream, cold

• To taste pepper, freshly ground

• To taste lemon, juiced

• 2 ounces Parmesan cheese, grated

• 1 each lemon, sliced into wedges

• Salt to taste

• 4 each large sea scallops, raw and sliced into quarters [ask for scallop shells]

• 2 each [2.5 lbs.] steamed lobster, diced into half inch pieces

• Parmesan cheese, grated, to taste

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. In a small mixing bowl, beat the egg and add the milk to create an egg wash. Place the quarter-size circles of puff pastry on a baking sheet and brush the puff pastry with the egg wash. Bake in the oven for 12-15 minutes, or until the pastry is puffed and golden brown. Set the puff pastry aside.

Brown the bacon in a heavy-bottom Dutch oven or saucepan, such as Le Creuset or Staub. Once the bacon is browned, remove it from the Dutch oven and set it aside. Do not discard the bacon fat. Add the butter to the bacon fat in the Dutch oven. Add the celery, onion, and carrot to the pot, and sweat out the vegetables until they are translucent and soft. Take the Dutch oven with the vegetables off of the heat and sprinkle the flour over the vegetables to make a roux. Return the Dutch oven with the roux to the stove over medium heat. Add the cold heavy whipping cream and whisk to remove roux balls. Season the mixture with freshly ground pepper, to taste, and a squeeze of lemon juice, to taste, for a bit of acidity. Simmer the mixture until it gets thick. Once the mixture has thickened, remove it from the heat. Fold in the scallops and lobster into the mixture. Grate the Parmesan cheese into the mixture and stir to incorporate all ingredients. Set the mixture aside, and let it cool in the refrigerator. To note – the mixture can be made up to a couple of days in advance and kept in the refrigerator. (Add the seafood after to extend the lifetime of the mixture or use it immediately.)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Arrange the scallop shell on a flat baking tray. If needed, arrange with some salt or oven-safe ware to hold the shells upright, in order to keep them from tipping over and losing the topping mixture [they will not fall or warp]. Scoop a [generous] tablespoon of the cold mixture into a scallop shell and top it with a sprinkling of Parmesan cheese. Bake in the oven until the cheese is bubbling and golden brown, or approximately 6-8 minutes. Top each stuffed scallop shell with a pre-baked puff pastry round. Garnish with lemon wedges and serve.

Chef Patrick O’Connell, Inn at Little Washington

Patrick O’Connell (Washington Blade file photo by Joey DiGuglielmo)

Chef Patrick O’Connell, renowned for his three Michelin stars at The Inn at Little Washington, is excited to share one of his beloved recipes for the holiday season.

For nearly four decades, a shot of this soup was served as the first course on The Inn at Little Washington’s tasting menu during the winter months. This beloved classic from Chef Patrick O’Connell found a new life at Patty O’s Café and has been touted as “The world’s most refined version of bean soup.” Pureeing the beans and adding a touch of cream makes for a delicate soup, but all the hearty flavors remain intact. The best of both worlds, and a perfect beginning for a fall or cold weather dinner.

White Bean Soup with Virginia Country Ham 

Ingredients (serves 8)

• 1/2 pound dried Cannellini or Great Northern Beans

• 5 strips of bacon

• 2 medium onions, coarsely chopped

• 5 leeks, chopped and thoroughly cleaned

• 1 cup chopped celery

• 4 bay leaves

• 4 quarts chicken stock, preferably homemade

• 1 ham bone (optional)

• 2 cups heavy cream

• Salt and cayenne pepper to taste

• Optional garnishes: shaved country ham; fresh cream, whipped; cracked black pepper; minced chives

Directions: 

1. In a medium saucepan, cover the beans with cool water and soak overnight.

2. In an 8 quart stock pot, cook the bacon over medium high heat until browned. Add the onion, leeks, celery, and bay leaves and cook until the vegetables are tender, about 15 minutes.

3. Drain and rinse the beans and add them to the stock pot along with the heated stock and ham bone (if using). Simmer until the beans are very soft, about 1 hour.

4. Remove the ham bone and bay leaves from the soup. Puree the soup in small batches in a blender or food processor and strain.

5. Return the soup to the heat and add the cream. If the soup is too thick, add more stock or cream. Season with salt and cayenne.

6. At Patty O’s Café, we pour the soup tableside over a bed of shaved local Virginia ham, and garnish with fresh cream whipped with cracked black pepper and fresh chives.

Jonathan Dearden, KNEAD Corporate Chef

KNEAD, one of the largest D.C.-based restaurant groups, is owned by gay couple Jason Berry and Michael Reginbogin.

Chef Dearden’s favorite recipe from the Succotash Prime menu that is perfect for Thanksgiving: “Gochujang Brussels Sprouts on our Succotash Prime menu is one of my favorite unique Thanksgiving sides. At the restaurant we fry in the deep fryer. This recipe has been adjusted to use an Air Fryer.”

Air Fried Gochujang Brussels Sprouts

Gochujang Vinaigrette

• 380g gochujang (hot)

• 150g orange juice

• 20g garlic, minced

• 30g ginger, minced

• 20g Fresno chilies, finely chopped

• 100g lime juice

• 100g rice wine vinegar

• 10g salt

• 750g canola or vegetable oil (approx. 1 quart)

In a blender or food processor, combine gochujang, orange juice, garlic, ginger, Fresno chilies, lime juice, rice wine vinegar, and salt. Blend until smooth.

With the blender running, slowly stream in the canola or vegetable oil to emulsify. Adjust seasoning if needed.

For Plate-Up

• 500g Brussels sprouts (about 1 pint)

• 50g gochujang vinaigrette

• 15g garlic chili crunch

• 3g sesame seeds (white and black, mixed)

• 3g scallions, sliced

• Salt and black pepper, to taste

Preheat air fryer to 400°F (200°C).

Toss the Brussels sprouts with a small amount of oil (just enough to lightly coat them) and season with a pinch of salt.

Place the Brussels sprouts in the air fryer basket in a single layer. Cook for 12-15 minutes, shaking the basket halfway through, until the sprouts are golden brown and crispy.

Transfer the air-fried Brussels sprouts to a large bowl. Drizzle with 50g of the gochujang vinaigrette, tossing lightly to coat but keeping them crispy. Season with salt and black pepper as needed.

Plate the Brussels sprouts in a serving bowl and garnish with garlic chili crunch, sesame seeds, and sliced scallions.

Anthony Aligo, Barkada Wine Bar

Aligo Aligo and business partners Nicholas Guglietta and Nathan Fisher, all gay men, founded their cozy wine bar in late 2020. They are offering two recipes this season: mushroom stuffing and a cranberry royale drink.

Mushroom Stuffing

This savory and earthy dish is perfect for Thanksgiving, featuring tender mushrooms, aromatic herbs, and hearty bread. It’s an excellent alternative or complement to traditional stuffing, especially for vegetarians or mushroom lovers. The dish balances rich flavors and comforting textures, making it a great side that pairs well with other Thanksgiving favorites like turkey, gravy, and cranberry sauce. With its umami depth and seasonal ingredients, this stuffing brings warmth and variety to the holiday table.

Mushroom Stuffing

Ingredients

• 12 cups of one-inch dried bread cubes or dried stuffing mix

• 1/2 cup salted butter

• 2 onions

•1 cup celery

•1 clove garlic

•1/2 lb of your favorite mushrooms

• 2 cups chicken or turkey broth

•1/3 cup fresh parsley

• 2 tsp fresh rosemary

Melt butter in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add sliced mushrooms, onions, celery and minced garlic. Cook until tender. Pour in chicken/turkey stock. Add minced parsley and rosemary and salt and pepper to your liking. Let simmer for 1-2 minutes.

Add bread cubes to a large bowl. Pour the mixture in a bowl and mix. Stuffing should be moist but not mushy. If not moist enough, add water.

Grease a 2-quart baking dish. Add stuffing. Bake for 40-50 minutes at 375 until stuffing is slightly browned on top.

Cranberry Royale

This drink is a festive and refreshing cocktail, perfect for Thanksgiving celebrations. With a blend of tart cranberry juice, a hint of orange, and a splash of dry Lambrusco, it offers a beautiful balance of flavors and a light, sparkling finish. The cranberry brings a seasonal twist, while the Lambrusco adds effervescence, making it an ideal aperitif to start the holiday. Its bright red hue adds a festive touch to the Thanksgiving table, celebrating the flavors and colors of the season.

• 0.5 oz Vodka

• 0.5 oz Orange Juice

• 1.5 oz Cranberry Juice

• 3.0 oz Lambrusco (dry)

Shake the cranberry, orange, and vodka with ice, and strain into a flute or coupe. Top with Lambrusco and garnish with orange peel.

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Should gay snowbirds cancel Florida amid anti-LGBTQ attacks?

The ethics of soaking up the sun while DeSantis targets our own

Published

on

Some gay travelers are wondering if they should boycott Florida over its anti-LGBTQ laws. (Photo by catella/Bigstock)

The sunny state of Florida has long been a draw for many members of the LGBTQ community, particularly those from cold Northeast states who flock there in winter. 

With temperatures cooling off, the annual migration is underway, despite Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis and his agenda attacking queer rights. Florida’s hostile environment has a long history, including the failed attempt by Anita Bryant to keep gay teachers out of the Miami school district some 40 years ago. 

That homophobic tradition continues. In addition to the current administration’s draconian “Don’t Say Gay” law, and DeSantis’s threats to Disney World in Orlando, the LGBTQ section was recently removed from the Visit Florida website. 

Travel is perhaps the most important industry for much of Florida, especially the Southeast and many gay couples decide to retire to the land of eternal summer permanently. Then there are those who flock to “winter” in the state. 

Tony Adams is a journalist, editor, playwright, and former contributor to the South Florida Gay News. In 2016, he published a book, “Ending Anita: How Two Key West Bartenders Won Gay Marriage for Florida.” He and his husband spend time there every winter. But he finally had enough.

“I didn’t like paying taxes to the DeSantis administration,” he said. “I sold my place in Fort Lauderdale.” 

But he cautions against an all out boycott of the state. 

“If we desert Florida now, we are depriving our LGBTQ+ businesses of the revenue they need to stay alive,” he said. “For that reason, I still visit Florida whenever I can, especially Key West and stay at the Island House. … Florida has a long tradition of homophobia in politics. In my book I assembled timelines of hatred going back to the 1977 campaign of Anita Bryant against gay teachers in public schools. Floridians get angry and then come to their senses, but maybe it’s just the flatness of the Florida terrain that allows that pendulum to swing more violently than in other states.”

The Blade reached out to several gay snowbirds from the Northeast for comment for this story; all declined to comment.

Ed Salvato, a leader in LGBTQ marketing and education for the tourism and hospitality industry, weighed in on the deletion of the LGBTQ tourism page. 

“The removal felt like erasure, it also felt gratuitous,” Salvato said. “What harm was that information doing to anyone? I speak to many tourism and hospitality professionals as well as frequent travelers, almost all of whom were dismayed and angered by these actions.” 

Anecdotally, Salvato said he has heard from friends who are fed up and want to move out. Those who visit frequently are rethinking their upcoming visit to the Sunshine State, he said.

“Recently, I spoke to a woman in Florida very active in hospitality and the diversity, equity, and inclusion space who said she just heard from a large conference of mostly African Americans from Historic Black Colleges and Universities who are canceling their big annual conference there,” Salvato said. “Since they feel that these anti-LGBTQ actions as well as others feel racist. Like the attack on ‘critical race theory’ teaching and attacks on DEI create an unsafe environment for their constituents. This is not good for the economy or reputation of Visit Florida.” He added, this will “take a long time to repair.”

On those like Adams who sold their property but still visit, Salvato notes, “In fact that actually feels like a better reaction than friends who are boycotting the state entirely. To me that makes no sense. The folks in the capital will still draw their salary whether or not you visit your favorite gay guesthouse in Florida. However, the gay owners of that guesthouse or the queer staff will suffer so your boycott hurts the very community who you wish to protect.”

The sheer number of queer people, especially young gay men often escaping hostile families when they graduate high school or before, who find work in the nightlife industry is staggering. Each June, throngs of these young men arrive hoping to find a welcoming community, a job, and a sunny beach. 

“In the instance you cite,” meaning snowbirds who may wish to sell property and visit long-term, “this shifts the benefits around the state so that’s better than a boycott but I think the best thing we can do is to go and support those destinations and suppliers that are daring to continue to reach out to LGBTQ travelers despite the signals sent out by the conservative state government.”

Nadine Smith, executive director of Equality Florida, took a similar stance as Salvato. How much money does the state earn from the “gay dollar?” She said “billions.”

“The state not only disrespects a significant contributor to its tourism economy but also sends a dangerous and exclusionary message,” Smith said. “This wasn’t just a petty move — it’s part of a calculated campaign to push LGBTQ people out of public life in Florida. When questioned about why they did this, Visit Florida officials confirmed that this removal was done to align with DeSantis’s hostile policies and rhetoric toward the LGBTQ community.”

Like Salvato, Smith and Equality Florida recommend spending your dollars at LGBTQ-friendly businesses. 

“Residents and visitors can also channel their economic influence toward companies that align with their values, sending a strong message that equality and inclusivity matter to them,” Smith said. “Equality Florida is a proud partner of Open To All, a growing coalition of businesses large and small that pledge to be welcoming and inclusive. Customers can search ‘open to all’ businesses on YELP, empowering us to vote with our dollars and support businesses that prioritize and actively advocate for LGBTQ rights. 

“In Fort Lauderdale,” she added, “VisitLauderdale.com launched a new social media campaign, “No End to the Rainbows,” to reaffirm their commitment to promoting a welcoming and inclusive environment for all.”

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