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Actress Katherine MacGregor remembered as ‘Little House’ villain Harriet Oleson

Larger-than-life grand dame of Walnut Grove showed depth on rare occasions

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Katherine MacGregor, gay news, Washington Blade

Katherine MacGregor as Mrs. Oleson, the villain fans loved to hate on ‘Little House on the Prairie.’ (Photo courtesy NBC)

When actress Alison Arngrim, best known as Nellie Oleson on “Little House on the Prairie” (1974-1983) came to Washington to do a book signing at (where else?) Nellie’s Sports Bar in 2011, I went to meet her and interviewed her for the Blade in advance of her appearance. 

She was everything I’d hoped for and more. “Little House” was one of my favorite childhood TV shows and the outrageous Oleson family — father Nells (Richard Bull), mother Harriet (Katherine MacGregor), daughter Nellie and son Willie (Jonathan Gilbert; real-life brother to series star Melissa Gilbert) — were my favorites. The Ingalls family the show was centered on were just too loving, sickening and saccharine for me, even as a kid. The Olesons brought comedy relief, bitchiness and flair to the show — they were just the counterflavor the long-running series needed. You always knew which of the towns folk would be in any given “Little House” episode as they were credited only in the episodes in which they appeared after Mary, Laura and Carrie ran through the field (God, why did they never reshoot that opening over eight friggin’ years?). I always waited to eagerly to see if Harriet and Nellie would be in the episode at hand. 

So it was with sadness but also happy memories that I heard last week that Katherine MacGregor died at age 93. Harriet and Nellie had places in the hearts of many gay men who love female villains. They’re cut from the same cloth as Pat Carroll’s Ursula, Margaret Hamilton’s Wicked Witch of the West, Glenn Close’s Marquise de Merteuil and scores of others. When my nieces and nephews were very young, they were baffled by my affinity for these types. It’s never been so much that they’re evil — they’re just so much more fabulous, larger than life and colorful than the anodyne protagonists. 

Arngrim’s memoir “Confessions of a Prairie Bitch” is a hoot and should be required reading if you’re a “Little House” fan. We had such a fun time chatting for the Blade, I decided to see if I could track down MacGregor as well. I’d heard from Arngrim that MacGregor would sometimes do Oleson family sketches for fans and wanted to write to her and request one. I thought a hand-drawn sketch would be a fun “Little House” memento. 

I got MacGregor’s Los Angeles address and packaged up a few sheets out of a sketch tablet, some black Sharpies, a nice stiff self-addressed and stamped return folder and a fan letter. I wanted to make it as easy as possible for Miss MacGregor so all she’d have to do would be open it up, draw her sketch, slip it in the mail and be done with it. I heard back from her a short time later. I did not get my sketch but what I got back was even better — a signed photo and a four-page (!) handwritten letter. I was flabbergasted that she would take the time to write at such length and her letter is priceless. 

Initially, however, Miss MacGregor was not pleased. She found the large package I sent all this in cumbersome, unwieldy and difficult to open and sent my paper, pens and envelope back (hell, I wouldn’t have cared if she’d kept them). 

“I do have a suggestion,” she wrote. “If you write to other celebrities, DO NOT send your request in such a gigantic envelope that fits NO mailbox at all!! And for me at any rate was almost impossible to open.” Naturally I heard Harriet’s voice in my head saying all this and felt dutifully chided. From this and other parts of her letter, you could just tell there was a lot of Harriet in Katherine — I’m not saying Katherine was a huge bitch in real life, but the easily exasperated, crusty exterior was there. 

Arngrim would say as much in her book as well. Melissa Gilbert wrote on Instagram of how “loving and nurturing she was with the younger cast.” A funny snapshot of the real Katherine is her appearance on a heroes vs. villains episode of “Family Feud” from the early ‘80s. It’s on DVD and gives you a feel for how she carried herself out of character. 

The crux of the letter itself, however, was warm. She reminisced about “Little House” cast members who’d died, sent me a picture of her dog, told me about her aches and pains and shared a vaguely cryptic note I was left to interpret: “Just to let you know — I have written my own memoir telling the TRUTH about my career and life. I didn’t have to MAKE IT UP or make up anyone else’s life as some do when they write their memoirs.” Hmmmm. She also declined my request for a Blade interview. 

Some may argue Harriet was a one-note role played shrilly and broadly. About 10 years ago, on a whim, I dove into “Little House” season five and couldn’t really stomach it. There seemed no nuance and I didn’t like the storyline of the whole town being forced out of Walnut Grove. But just about a month ago I gave season six a try and am discovering again why I loved the show so much. Nobody ever talks about it, but there were a few moments throughout the series when Harriet exhibited humanity and depth. She has a lovely scene in the season six episode “The Preacher Takes a Wife,” when she and a former fiancé reconnect. Sure, 99 percent of the time, she was Walnut Grove’s version of Miss Gulch, but when tragedy hit, Harriet could rise to the occasion. Actor Dean Butler (Almanzo) gave an insightful comment in one of the DVD season six extras — “Little House” is not literal; it’s a child’s (i.e. Laura’s) perspective. That clicked for me and I appreciated MacGregor and Arngrim’s work even more. 

But MacGregor deserved more. She was never nominated for an Emmy, never got any industry recognition and never did any further acting after “Little House.” Betty White, Carol Burnett and Lucille Ball were all wonderful, of course, but there are so many female comedians on hit ‘70s and ‘80s shows who got next to nothing — MacGregor, Polly Holliday (Flo on “Alice”) or Nell Carter (“Gimme a Break!”) and many others. Thankfully their work lives on via DVD. And what great work it was. 

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Out & About

LGBTQ Military Happy Hour set for Sept. 15

In-person gathering to be held at Tom’s Watch Bar

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A scene from the 2026 Capital Pride Parade. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Modern Military Association of America will host “Pride in Service: An LGBTQ+ Military Happy Hour” on Tuesday, Sept. 15 at 4 p.m. at Tom’s Watch Bar. 

This in-person gathering is the perfect chance to connect, share stories, and celebrate the diversity within the military community. Come relax, meet fellow LGBTQ+ service members and allies, and enjoy a fun, supportive atmosphere. Don’t miss out on an evening full of pride, camaraderie, and good vibes. Visit Eventbrite for more details. 

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Calendar

Calendar: September 11-17

LGBTQ events in the days to come

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Friday, September 11

Go Gay DC will host “Out in DC LGBTQ+ Community Social” at 7 p.m. at Hotel Zena.This is a chance to relax, make new friends, and enjoy happy hour specials at this classic retro venue. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite

Women in their Twenties and Thirties will meet at 8 p.m. on Zoom. This is a social discussion group for queer women in the Washington, D.C. area. For more details, visit Facebook.

Saturday, September 12

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation.  Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center will host screenings of “Princess Sparkles” and “Kiloran Bay” at 1:30 p.m. “Kiloran Bay” is a 13-minute musical short set amid the wild beauty of the Scottish Hebrides and the fierce joy of a wedding cèilidh. “Princess Sparkles” is about a girl who accidentally signs up to pet-sit a princess only to discover she’s actually a nippy, Fox News-watching pig. More details are available on the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s website

Sunday, September 13

“Nellie’s DC Drag Brunch” will be at 12 p.m. at Nellie’s Sports Bar. Come get served like a queen by a queen. Join Sapphire Blue, Deja Diamond and their team of amazing drag performers for the most fun you’ll have all weekend. Tickets are $58.51 and are available on Eventbrite

Monday, September 14

“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10:00a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).

Tuesday, September 15

Center Bi Pan+ Roundtable will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is an opportunity for people to gather in order to discuss issues related to bisexuality or as Bi individuals in a private setting. Visit Facebook or Meetup for more information.

Wednesday, September 16

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.

The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center will host “Movement for Healing” at 3 p.m. This trauma- and yoga therapy–informed class is designed to help guests gently reconnect with their body and their breath. Through mindful movement, somatic awareness, and grounding practices, guests will explore how to release tension, increase mobility, and cultivate a deeper sense of safety and ease within. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website

Thursday, September 17

The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5:00 pm if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245. 

Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breathwork and meditation that allows LGBTQ+ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s website.  

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Books

Historiography with heart

Pioneering author John D’Emilio continues to enlighten us in new book ‘Making Gay History’

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(Book cover image courtesy of Duke University Press)

‘Making Gay History, Memoir of a Scholar-Activist’
By John D’Emilio
Dukeupress.edu/making-gay-history

“Dear Dr. Kameny,” wrote the earnest graduate history student almost 50 years ago. “As you know, the academic community only rarely deemed the lives of gay men and women to be worthy of serious scholarly study. To my knowledge, no American history faculty at a major university has yet sponsored a dissertation that deals with gays historically.”  

That student was a young man from the Bronx who would change all that. His name is John D’Emilio. 

“I must be able to uncover ‘manuscript’ sources, that is unpublished and unique historical materials,” he explained to D.C. gay civil rights pioneer Dr. Franklin E. Kameny who lived in a house stacked to the ceiling with “unique historical materials.” In reality, these were piles of correspondence with government officials and politicians, legal filings, mimeograph copies, gay newspapers, press releases, Mattachine Society brochures and picket signs. Frank Kameny, a self-described “pack rat,” invited D’Emilio into his private world of papers and memorabilia to begin uncovering an erased and forgotten pre-Stonewall history. This was one of many such research forays into “basements, garages and overcrowded living rooms” across America conducted by John D’Emilio. He was a young man on fire to complete a Ph.D. dissertation at the frontier of a distant galaxy — writing a scholarly gay and lesbian history backed by original research where there had been none, only a void.

Reading D’Emilio’s memoir “Making Gay History” (2026, Duke University Press) one has the sense of watching an emerging galaxy spinning around a galactic core of New York scholars and their mentors, young activists, and community historians throbbing with the New York City energy celebrated by Walt Whitman a century before in his epic poem “Mannahatta”.   Spinning out of the ‘60s anti-Vietnam War activism; Marxist historical analysis, the Stonewall riots and gay liberation, we can see it coalescing around this one history student’s search for a dissertation topic and himself piecing together a new history that “no one had yet written about … a pioneering work in this newly emerging field.” D’Emilio pitches his idea for a dissertation that “spanned the length of U.S. history, moving from the religious teachings that shaped law and social attitudes … to how the federal government dealt with the increasing visibility of a homosexual world in the twentieth century.” With the blessings of Columbia’s Department of History, he completed his dissertation leading to the publication of his groundbreaking history: “Sexual Politics, Sexual Communities: The Making of a Homosexual Minority in the United States” (1983). When he received his first copy of the bound book in the mail, he “cradled the book in my arm holding it close to my chest….It was as if I had fathered a child.” 

More so, D’Emilio fathered a new history. Historiography is the story of how history gets written, conducting original research, uncovering the data and creating the narrative(s) — often a snoozing read of academic process. But not this historiography. “Making Gay History” is a historiography with heart.

“Nothing was going to stop me from giving everything I had to this effort at making change in society and myself,” he declares while connecting with others who share his “boundless excitement for the collection of documents.” There were many others in this spiral with D’Emilio who are mentioned and play important roles. In the spiral were Jonathan Ned Katz (“Gay American History”, 1976); Allan Berube (“Coming Our Under Fire” 1990), Martin Duberman (“Hidden from History”, 1989); Daughters of Bilitis activists Del Martin and Barbara Gittings; Civil War historian Eric Foner and author/activist Larry Kramer. No libertarians among them. Well, maybe the divine Bette Midler who was well known for performing uptown at the Continental Baths who makes an appearance at a Washington Square rally.

He craved his parents’ approval. Among the most riveting scenes in the memoir are a series of family dinners in the Bronx with his old-school parents who go into near shock when he tells them he is gay. How to evade this any longer, especially now that his dissertation is going to be on homosexuality? It is a moving and hilarious sequence. After he says it out loud, “I am gay”: “No. No. No!” his father gasps. “This can’t be true. It can’t be.” D’Emilio thinks, “Oh my God, he’s going to die. I’ve killed my father.”  

The D’Emilios — Vincent and Sophie — so resemble the wonderful Castorinis in “Moonstruck,” I am thinking “Oh my God, this is Cher coming out to her parents Cosmo and Rose.” The young graduate student survives the family dramatics even more certain that this was not just his success but “a gay liberation success.” From the family dinner table to the streets, he writes how he marched in the 1973 Pride parade beneath a banner held high: “Gay Socialists.”  This man is a born scholar-activist.

D’Emilio does not seem able to pull back. There are passages that veer into autobiographical minutia, detail about the grind to earn a living from the University of North Carolina Greensboro to the University of Illinois Chicago. He writes, ”I would be living on less than half my usual salary for the year, but with the small amount of royalties that I got for my three books, plus some occasional speaking gigs and dipping into savings…”.   Much of this is gray matter compared to the galaxy John D’Emilio helped energize that even now brightens our sky.

Charles Francis is president of The Mattachine Society of Washington, D.C. and author of Archive Activism: Memoir of a Uniquely NastyJourney” (University of North Texas, 2023)

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