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Actress Katherine MacGregor remembered as ‘Little House’ villain Harriet Oleson

Larger-than-life grand dame of Walnut Grove showed depth on rare occasions

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Katherine MacGregor, gay news, Washington Blade

Katherine MacGregor as Mrs. Oleson, the villain fans loved to hate on ‘Little House on the Prairie.’ (Photo courtesy NBC)

When actress Alison Arngrim, best known as Nellie Oleson on “Little House on the Prairie” (1974-1983) came to Washington to do a book signing at (where else?) Nellie’s Sports Bar in 2011, I went to meet her and interviewed her for the Blade in advance of her appearance. 

She was everything I’d hoped for and more. “Little House” was one of my favorite childhood TV shows and the outrageous Oleson family — father Nells (Richard Bull), mother Harriet (Katherine MacGregor), daughter Nellie and son Willie (Jonathan Gilbert; real-life brother to series star Melissa Gilbert) — were my favorites. The Ingalls family the show was centered on were just too loving, sickening and saccharine for me, even as a kid. The Olesons brought comedy relief, bitchiness and flair to the show — they were just the counterflavor the long-running series needed. You always knew which of the towns folk would be in any given “Little House” episode as they were credited only in the episodes in which they appeared after Mary, Laura and Carrie ran through the field (God, why did they never reshoot that opening over eight friggin’ years?). I always waited to eagerly to see if Harriet and Nellie would be in the episode at hand. 

So it was with sadness but also happy memories that I heard last week that Katherine MacGregor died at age 93. Harriet and Nellie had places in the hearts of many gay men who love female villains. They’re cut from the same cloth as Pat Carroll’s Ursula, Margaret Hamilton’s Wicked Witch of the West, Glenn Close’s Marquise de Merteuil and scores of others. When my nieces and nephews were very young, they were baffled by my affinity for these types. It’s never been so much that they’re evil — they’re just so much more fabulous, larger than life and colorful than the anodyne protagonists. 

Arngrim’s memoir “Confessions of a Prairie Bitch” is a hoot and should be required reading if you’re a “Little House” fan. We had such a fun time chatting for the Blade, I decided to see if I could track down MacGregor as well. I’d heard from Arngrim that MacGregor would sometimes do Oleson family sketches for fans and wanted to write to her and request one. I thought a hand-drawn sketch would be a fun “Little House” memento. 

I got MacGregor’s Los Angeles address and packaged up a few sheets out of a sketch tablet, some black Sharpies, a nice stiff self-addressed and stamped return folder and a fan letter. I wanted to make it as easy as possible for Miss MacGregor so all she’d have to do would be open it up, draw her sketch, slip it in the mail and be done with it. I heard back from her a short time later. I did not get my sketch but what I got back was even better — a signed photo and a four-page (!) handwritten letter. I was flabbergasted that she would take the time to write at such length and her letter is priceless. 

Initially, however, Miss MacGregor was not pleased. She found the large package I sent all this in cumbersome, unwieldy and difficult to open and sent my paper, pens and envelope back (hell, I wouldn’t have cared if she’d kept them). 

“I do have a suggestion,” she wrote. “If you write to other celebrities, DO NOT send your request in such a gigantic envelope that fits NO mailbox at all!! And for me at any rate was almost impossible to open.” Naturally I heard Harriet’s voice in my head saying all this and felt dutifully chided. From this and other parts of her letter, you could just tell there was a lot of Harriet in Katherine — I’m not saying Katherine was a huge bitch in real life, but the easily exasperated, crusty exterior was there. 

Arngrim would say as much in her book as well. Melissa Gilbert wrote on Instagram of how “loving and nurturing she was with the younger cast.” A funny snapshot of the real Katherine is her appearance on a heroes vs. villains episode of “Family Feud” from the early ‘80s. It’s on DVD and gives you a feel for how she carried herself out of character. 

The crux of the letter itself, however, was warm. She reminisced about “Little House” cast members who’d died, sent me a picture of her dog, told me about her aches and pains and shared a vaguely cryptic note I was left to interpret: “Just to let you know — I have written my own memoir telling the TRUTH about my career and life. I didn’t have to MAKE IT UP or make up anyone else’s life as some do when they write their memoirs.” Hmmmm. She also declined my request for a Blade interview. 

Some may argue Harriet was a one-note role played shrilly and broadly. About 10 years ago, on a whim, I dove into “Little House” season five and couldn’t really stomach it. There seemed no nuance and I didn’t like the storyline of the whole town being forced out of Walnut Grove. But just about a month ago I gave season six a try and am discovering again why I loved the show so much. Nobody ever talks about it, but there were a few moments throughout the series when Harriet exhibited humanity and depth. She has a lovely scene in the season six episode “The Preacher Takes a Wife,” when she and a former fiancé reconnect. Sure, 99 percent of the time, she was Walnut Grove’s version of Miss Gulch, but when tragedy hit, Harriet could rise to the occasion. Actor Dean Butler (Almanzo) gave an insightful comment in one of the DVD season six extras — “Little House” is not literal; it’s a child’s (i.e. Laura’s) perspective. That clicked for me and I appreciated MacGregor and Arngrim’s work even more. 

But MacGregor deserved more. She was never nominated for an Emmy, never got any industry recognition and never did any further acting after “Little House.” Betty White, Carol Burnett and Lucille Ball were all wonderful, of course, but there are so many female comedians on hit ‘70s and ‘80s shows who got next to nothing — MacGregor, Polly Holliday (Flo on “Alice”) or Nell Carter (“Gimme a Break!”) and many others. Thankfully their work lives on via DVD. And what great work it was. 

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Friends of Dorothy Cafe hosts event at City-State Public House

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Friends of Dorothy Cafe will host “Living History: How We Loved” on Thursday, May 14 at 7:30 p.m. at City-State Public House. 

Guests will hear how queer and trans people have loved and cared for one another, especially when legal, medical, and social systems did not recognize those relationships. We’ll reflect on chosen family, long-term partnerships before marriage equality, caregiving during the AIDS crisis, hidden romances, friendship as survival, chosen family, and the loves that changed the course of our lives. This evening is about honoring lived experience, preserving community memory, and strengthening the bridge between generations.

Tickets are $24.57 and are available on Eventbrite

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Calendar

Calendar: May 8-14

LGBTQ events in the days to come

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Friday, May 8

Center Aging Monthly Luncheon With Yoga will be at noon at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. Email Mac at [email protected] if you require ASL interpreter assistance, have any dietary restrictions, or questions about this event.

Women in their Twenties and Thirties will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a social discussion group for queer women in the Washington, D.C. area. For more details, visit the group’s Facebook

The DC Center for the LGBT Community will host “We Are Pat” at 12:30 p.m. This event takes a fresh look at the iconic Saturday Night Live sketch “It’s Pat” and traces how ideas about gender and what we laugh at have shifted from the ’90s to today. What began as a character born out of cultural anxiety around gender now lands in a world shaped by ongoing debates about transness and queerness. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website

Saturday, May 9

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation.  Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite

Sunday, May 10

Drag Queen Sip and Paint Experience Washington DC will be at 4 p.m. at Town Tavern. This is a fabulous experience brought to you by Sip and Paint USA and combines the joy of painting with the lively energy of a drag queen, offering an hour and a half of fun, creativity, and entertainment. Participants paint a canvas while enjoying cocktails, all under the guidance of a glamorous drag queen host. Tickets are $47.19 and can be purchased on Eventbrite

Monday, May 11

Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).

Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary, whether you’re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that you’re not 100% cis. For more details, visit genderqueerdc.org or Facebook

Tuesday, May 12

Trans Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This event is intended to provide an emotionally and physically safe space for trans* people and those who may be questioning their gender identity/expression to join together in community and learn from one another. For more details, email [email protected]

Coming Out Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a safe space to share experiences about coming out and discuss topics as it relates to doing so — by sharing struggles and victories the group allows those newly coming out and who have been out for a while to learn from others. For more details, visit the group’s Facebook.  

Wednesday, May 13

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.

The DC Center for the LGBT Community will host “Movement for Healing” at 3 p.m. This trauma- and yoga therapy–informed class is designed to help guests gently reconnect with their body and their breath. Through mindful movement, somatic awareness, and grounding practices, guests will explore how to release tension, increase mobility, and cultivate a deeper sense of safety and ease within. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website

Thursday, May 14

Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breathwork and meditation that allows LGBTQ+ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.  

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Television

Repression, toxic masculinity fuel intense queer drama ‘Half Man’

A solidly crafted, well-acted, fascinating binge watch

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Jamie Bell and Richard Gadd in ‘Half Man.’ (Photo courtesy of BBC1/HBO Max)

In 2024, when Richard Gadd’s “Baby Reindeer” became a stock-boosting hit for Netflix, there were few Americans who knew his name.

In the UK, however, the Scottish writer/comedian/actor had already emerged as a talent to be reckoned with, blending autobiographical stand-up comedy with theater to create a reputation as an edgy and provocative creator whose shows tended to be equal parts divisive and successful. One of these, his fictionalized true-life story of being stalked and sexually harassed by a female fan, became an Olivier Award-winning hit in the London theater; that was “Baby Reindeer,” and – in the form of a seven-episode miniseries adaptation – it became the vehicle that carried him to wider fame.

Two years later, Gadd has returned with another high-profile miniseries, this time for HBO Max, and like its predecessor, it’s a story that deals with queer sexual repression, unhealthy attachments, and a central relationship that can safely be described without exaggeration as “toxic” – and it’s an even darker (and more twisted) ride that stretches across decades. 

“Half Man,” which debuted on April 23 and continues with one episode per week through May 14, is the story of two “brothers” – Niall (Jamie Bell) and Ruben (Gadd) – whose mothers (Neve McIntosh and Marianne McIvor) have become a lesbian couple after leaving their relationships with the boys’ respective fathers. They are seeming opposites in personality; Niall is quiet, sensitive, and secretly unsure about his sexuality, while Ruben is tough, rebellious, and prone to violence – and unsurprisingly, it’s a match made in hell.

We meet them at the top of the first episode as adults, on the day of Niall’s wedding, when Ruben shows up without warning; his appearance triggers what looks like fear in his “brother from another lover,” and a private meeting between them in a barn at the wedding site turns ugly, launching a flashback format that takes us back to their schooldays, when young Ruben (Stuart Campbell) – already in trouble with the law and trying for a new start – comes home from juvenile detention to become roommate, protector, and bully to young Niall (Mitchell Robertson), all in one.

It’s the dawn of a new and epic relationship, despite a history that has made Niall terrified of the older boy; their seemingly opposite qualities somehow mesh into a kind of symbiotic bubble, in which a tense equilibrium turns them into unlikely allies. Ruben makes sure Niall has nothing to fear from the sniggering schoolyard homophobes who target him, and Niall helps Ruben pass the tests he needs to pass in order to stay in school, Nevertheless, their dynamic is equal parts surprisingly tender and alarmingly lopsided. Though they form a bond, it’s a volatile one, and by the end of episode one – after an uncomfortable-to-watch late night incident that amounts to a sexual assault – there is little doubt that Ruben is a psychopath. By then, however, it’s too late; Niall has become hopelessly ensnared by his manipulations, and their dangerous attachment has taken permanent root.

In episode two, the timeline moves the past forward several years (while rolling the wedding-day story back a few hours as well), bringing Niall forward to his college years. Ruben is once again absent from his life, but the bond is still deep. He struggles to make connections in his new setting – including with another student, the openly gay Alby (Bilal Hasna), who recognizes a side of him that he has still yet to accept for himself. Though he gradually begins to adapt to his new social circle, his insecurities get the better of him – and despite warnings from his mother not to do so, he calls Ruben to come and visit. His arrival triggers another escalating series of incidents, this time entangling Niall’s new friends and culminating in a shocking, jealous-fueled explosion of violence.

Without going on with the story – after all, the two remaining episodes have yet to be released, so we wouldn’t want to spoil anything – it’s safe to say there’s a pattern here, and it’s intentional.

Gadd has already been public about his own struggles with repression, which were directly explored (albeit fictionally) in “Baby Reindeer,” and it’s clear that he had more to say about the effects they had on his life and identity.

As he put it himself, in an interview with the Hollywood Reporter, “Themes of, I guess, masculinity, or what it means to be a man, or ‘I’ve gone through a masculinity crisis’ come into [the show] probably because I’ve been through that in my life, and I feel I can write to it and speak to it.

“I always think that the best kind of art is kept close to your chest, kept close to your heart, kept close to your experiences, and I guess with ‘Half Man,’ there’s a lot in it that I relate to. It’s not an autobiographical piece by any stretch, it’s purely fiction, but it certainly borrows from themes and struggles and issues that I understand.”

That understanding translates to the series through its focus on tracing the roots of Niall and Ruben’s relationship by methodically tracking the cause-and-effect chain that links the major events of their lives together. It explores the contradictory combination of worship and terror, the transgressive eroticism that intertwines danger and desire, the power of the forbidden to make us want it more, and the self-loathing that punishes itself through violence toward others. The inverted framework of the storytelling, which works both forward and back to meet at (we assume) some definitive point, makes following it a bit like putting together a puzzle, which also has the effect of building suspense as we wait to see the “moment of truth.”

Of course, those who prefer a more straightforward narrative might not appreciate the additional challenge, especially when the subject matter – which revolves around experiences, feelings, and behavior that might be entirely unfamiliar to many audiences – is challenging enough by itself, in its own way. Likewise, and for much the same reason, there will be viewers who are unable to relate to its characters, as some of the show’s less-favorable reviews have pointed out.

But it would be naive to assume that the themes in “Half Man” – of fragile masculinity, internalized homophobia, misdirected rage, nihilistic rebellion, conflicted desires, projected shame, and the other ingredients that infuse this shadow-boxing psychodrama with such a distinctive musky odor – do not apply to more men in today’s culture of incels, “looksmaxxers,” and “the Man-o-sphere” than any of them would like to admit. We’d wager that its portrait of a same-sex, sub/Dom, borderline incestuous relationship might resonate more urgently there than within a queer community that has been grappling with those issues for generations already and are just waiting for everybody else to catch up.

In any case, Gadd’s newest variation on a theme is a solidly crafted, well-acted, and hypnotically fascinating (if sometimes uncomfortable) exercise in the kind of “can’t look away” drama that makes for a perfect binge watch. Or, at least, it will once all the episodes drop.

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