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Dating app #open offers free virtual sex-ed class to help ease the ‘self-isolation’ blues

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The dating app #open will host “Iso-dating 101” on March 28 (Image courtesy #open)

While self-isolation and staying “safer at home” are undoubtedly the right thing to do for the overall health and well-being of ourselves and the larger community, they aren’t necessarily great for our sex lives.

With efforts to “flatten the curve” on the spread of COVID-19 already stretching out into weeks, many single and non-monogamous people – or even monogamous couples, if separated by circumstance during the quarantine – are sure to be feeling the call of their libido. Rather than giving into the potentially catastrophic temptation of risking an in-person meet-up, many of those with the urge to get their groove on are turning to the many options for remote connection available to us in the age of smart phones and video conferencing.

While the virtual approach to shared sexual experience may be familiar enough for many of us, there are also many for whom it is a challenging journey into unexplored territory – and in terms of finding a meaningful connection that goes deeper than an impersonal and anonymous hook-up. Rather than letting that be an obstacle to participation in a little sexual self-care, why not get a few tips from an expert so you can be ready to dive in with confidence?

To that end, #open, a dating app for women and other marginalized groups including people seeking open or polyamorous relationships, has partnered with sex and relationship educator Sarah Sloane to offer a virtual video sex education workshop on dating in isolation (or iso-dating), which is happening on Saturday, March 28.

Sloane, according to her website, wears “a number of different hats” in both her personal and professional lives. An educator with twenty years of experience teaching thousands of people throughout the US, Canada, and overseas, she’s also written “hundreds of articles, essays, advice columns, book chapters, and blog posts on topics ranging from sexuality and pleasure to mental wellness, personal growth, aging, and trauma recovery.”

Her writings have been featured in magazines such as the adult industry retail magazine StorErotica, as well as online in places like PopSugar, and in books like Tristan Taormino’s “Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play, and the Erotic Edge” and Lee Harrington’s book, “Rope, Bondage and Power.” In addition, she was Ms. Illinois Leather Pride 2016, was nominated for the Pantheon of Leather’sWoman of the Year award for 2009, was first runner-up for International Ms. Leather 2009, and was a past nominee for the Vaughan Keith National Educator award from Black Rose.

As for #open, the relative newcomer among the array of dating apps was launched by co-founders Amanda Wilson and David Epstein, who themselves met on a dating app in 2015 and decided to build one of their own a year later. In the words of Epstein, “it’s an app that’s been built for people with a fairly open mindset, when it comes to human sexuality.”

The fledgling app has already been proactive during the current coronavirus crisis, advising its users to look to the virtual sphere for a healthier alternative for sexual exploration and encouraging them to use the opportunity to work on other aspects of dating, such as their communication skills. Now, they’re going a step further by presenting Sloane’s online workshop to help us get the most out of the experience.

“The spread of COVID-19 has been hard on our community at large. Sex-positive outlets have been disporpotionately affected by this pandemic and for many it feels as though the community we have all worked so hard to pull together has been pushed apart,” says app co-founder Wilson. “More now than ever we need connection and commonality, which is why we’ve joined forces with Sex Educator Sarah Sloane to bring you a virtual dating workshop that is open to all!”

She added, “This Saturday evening’s class ‘Iso-dating 101 (with Q&A)’ has all of your favorite sex-ed workshop components without any work (getting out of bed is not required)! Whether you’re new to online dating or you’re trying to figure out the best way to frame your needs and expectations when in-person meetups are out of the question, this free educational ‘social gathering’ is for you.”

You can attend the virtual workshop on Saturday, March 28, at 7:00pm ET / 4:00pm PT, at hashtagopen.com/live.

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PHOTOS: National Champagne Brunch

Gov. Beshear honored at annual LGBTQ+ Victory Fund event

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Gov. Andy Beshear (D-Ky.) speaks at the LGBTQ+ Victory Fund National Champagne Brunch on Sunday, April 19. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The LGBTQ+ Victory Fund National Champagne Brunch was held at Salamander Washington DC on Sunday, April 19. Gov. Andy Beshear (D-Ky.) was presented with the Allyship Award.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

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PHOTOS: Night of Champions

Team DC holds annual awards gala

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Team DC President Miguel Ayala speaks at the Night of Champions Awards Gala at the Georgetown Marriott on Saturday, April 18. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The umbrella LGBTQ sports organization Team D.C. held its annual Night of Champions Gala at the Georgetown Marriott on Saturday, April 18. Team D.C. presented scholarships to local student athletes and presented awards to Adam Peck, Manuel Montelongo (a.k.a. Mari Con Carne), Dr. Sara Varghai and the Centaur Motorcycle Club. Sean Bartel was posthumously honored with the Most Valuable Person Award.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

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Television

‘Big Mistakes’ an uneven – but worthy – comedic showcase

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Taylor Ortega and Dan Levy in ‘Big Mistakes.’ (Photo courtesy of Netflix)

In the years since “Schitt’s Creek” wrapped up its six season Emmy-winning run, nostalgia for it has grown deep – especially since the still painfully recent loss of its iconic leading lady, Catherine O’Hara, whose sudden passing prompted a social media wave of clips and tributes featuring her fan-favorite performance as the deliciously daft Moira Rose. Revisiting so many favorite scenes and funny moments from the show naturally reminded us of just how much we loved it, even needed it during the time it was on the air; it also reminded us of how much we miss it, and how much it feels now like something we need more than ever.

That, perhaps more than anything else, is why the arrival of “Big Mistakes” – the new Netflix series starring, co-created and co-written by Dan Levy – felt so welcome. We knew it wouldn’t be the Roses, but it seemed cut from the same cloth, and it had David Rose (or at least someone who seemed a lot like him) in the middle of a comically dysfunctional family dynamic, complete with a mother who gets involved in town politics and a catty sibling rivalry with his sister, and still nebbish-ly uncomfortable in his own gay shoes. Only this time, instead of running a pastor of the local church, and instead of a collection of kooky small town neighbors to contend with, there are gangsters.

As it turns out, it really does feel cut from the same cloth, but the design is distinctly different. Set in a fictional New Jersey suburb, it centers on Nicky (Levy) and his sister Morgan (Taylor Ortega) – he openly gay with an adoring boyfriend (Jacob Gutierrez), yet still obsessive about keeping it all invisible to his congregation, and she drudging aimlessly through life as an underpaid schoolteacher after failing to achieve her New York dreams of show biz success – who inadvertently become enmeshed in a shady underworld when a gesture for their dead grandmother’s funeral goes horribly awry.

They’re surrounded by a crew of equally compromised characters. There’s their mother Linda (Laurie Metcalf), whose campaign to become the town’s mayor only intensifies her tendency to micromanage her children’s lives; Yusuf (Boran Kuzum), the Turkish-American mini-mart operator who pulls them into the criminal conspiracy yet is himself a victim of it; Max (Jack Innanen), Morgan’s live-in boyfriend, who pushes her for a deeper commitment and is willing to go to couples’ therapy to prove it; Annette, his mother (Elizabeth Perkins), who lends her society standing toward helping Linda’s campaign against a misogynistic opponent (Darren Goldstein); and Ivan (Mark Ivanir), the seemingly ruthless crime boss who enslaves the siblings into his network but may really be just another slave in it himself. It’s a well-fleshed out assortment of characters that helps our own loyalties shift and adapt, generating at least a degree of empathy – if not always sympathy – that keeps everyone from coming off as a merely “black-and-white” caricature of expectations and typecasting.

To be sure, it’s an entertaining binge-watch, full of distinctive characters – all inhabiting familiar, even stereotypical roles in the narrative – who are each given a degree of validation, both in writing and performance, as the show unspools its narrative. At the same time, it makes for a fairly bleak overall view of humanity, in which it’s difficult to place our loyalties with anyone without also embracing a kind of “dog eat dog” morality in which nobody is truly innocent – but nobody is completely to blame for their sins, anyway.

In this way, it’s a show that lets us off the hook in the sense that it places the idea of ethical guilt within a framework of relative evils as it permits us to forgive our own trespasses through our acceptance of its lovably amoral – when it comes right down to it – characters, each of whom has their own reasons and justifications for what they do. We relate, but we can’t quite shake the notion that, if all these people hadn’t been so caught up in their own personal dramas, none of them would have ended up in the compromised morality that they do, and that they are all therefore, at some level, to blame for whatever consequences they endure.

However, it’s not some bleak morality play that Levy and crew undertake; rather, it’s more an egalitarian fantasy in which even “bad” choices feel justified by inevitability. Everybody has their reasons for doing what they do, and most of those reasons make enough sense to us that it’s hard to judge any of the characters for making the choices – however unwise – that they do. In a system where everyone is forced to compromise themselves in order to achieve whatever dream of self-fulfillment they may have, how can anybody really blame themselves for doing what they have to do to survive?

Of course, all things considered, this is more a relatable comedy than it is a morality play, and it is, perhaps, taking things a bit too seriously to go that “deep.” As a comedy of errors, it all works well enough on its own without imposing an ideology on it, no matter how much we may be tempted to do so. Indeed, what is ultimately more to the point is how well this pseudo-cynical exercise in the normalization of corruption – for that is what it really about, in the end – succeeds in letting us all off the hook for our compromises. In a reality in which we can only respond to corruption by finding the ethical validation for making the choice to survive, how can we judge ourselves – or anyone else – for doing whatever is necessary?

In the end, of course, maybe all that analysis is too deep a dive for a show that feels, in the end, so clearly to be focused merely on reminding us of how much necessity dictates our choices –for truly, the fate of all its characters hinges on how well they respond to the compromised decisions that must make along the way. The more important observation, perhaps, has to do with the necessity to make such moral choices along our way – and it comes not from a moralistic urge toward making the “right” choice as much as it does from a candid recognition that all of us are compromised from the outset, and that’s a refreshing enough bit of honesty that we can easily get on board.

It helps that the performances are on point, especially the loony and wide-eyed fanaticism of Metcalf – surely the MVP of any project in which she is involved – and the directly focused moral malleability of Ortega, Levy, of course, is Levy – a now-familiar persona that can exist within any milieu without further justification than its own queer relatability – and, in this case, at least, that’s both the icing on the cake and substance that defines it. That’s enough to make it an essential view for fans, queer or otherwise, of his distinctive “brand,” even if he – or the show itself – doesn’t quite satisfy in the way that “Schitt’s Creek” was able to do.

Seriously, though, how could it?

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