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Jeremy Denk’s memoir proves he’s as gifted with words as with music

Gay pianist’s coming-of-age story has broad appeal

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(Book cover image courtesy of Random House)

Every Good Boy Does Fine
By Jeremy Denk
c.2020, Random House
$28.99/368 pages

When I was nine, my parents decided I should learn to play a musical instrument. A teacher in our town tried to get me to take to the guitar. “Her playing was remarkable,” he said, aiming for tact, but sounding as if he’d just bitten into a cat litter sandwich.

You might think “Every Good Boy Does Fine,” the new memoir by Jeremy Denk, the gay, MacArthur-genius-award-winning concert pianist, would have little appeal for musical philistines like me. Or that Denk’s coming-of-age story would only tickle the ivories of  musicians and their aficionados.

But you would be wrong. Denk, a “New Yorker” writer, is a superb wordsmith. He’s as gifted with words as he is with the piano.

The memoir is structured around a through-line of musical lessons (in harmony, melody and rhythm). In these chapters, Denk writes with intelligence, wit, and wonderful metaphors of music and the arduous discipline and practice needed to learn to play the piano.

One day when he was 12, Denk, who was born in 1970, bought a cassette of Mozart’s “Sinfonia Concertante with the Cleveland Orchestra.” “I was the kind of kid who thought he’d already figured out Mozart,” Denk writes, “but could barely tie his shoelaces.”

Denk, winner of the Avery Fisher Prize, began piano lessons at age six. It was soon clear that he was talented.

From childhood on, Denk endured the tedium of practicing the piano. “Scales were the ultimate joyless task,” he writes, “an endless and recursive tedium.”

Denk’s family moved from North Carolina to New Jersey when he was six and from New Jersey to New Mexico when he was 10.

In New Mexico, Denk took lessons from William Leland, a New Mexico State University piano professor. In Oberlin College (which he entered at 16), he decided to become a musician.

In graduate school, Denk studied under the acclaimed pianist Gyorgy Sebok, and he received a Ph.D. from Julliard in 2001.

Denk’s writing about music and his teachers will be catnip to musicians and classical music fans. But his stories of sweat, competition, enduring criticism — nurturing one’s talent will resonate with everyone from athletes to artists to chefs to race car drivers.

Learning to be a concert pianist isn’t for the faint of heart. “‘Why are you fucking waiting?’ he yelled in my face,” Denk writes about a lesson with an acclaimed teacher, “coating me with a fine film of Scotch-scented saliva.”

Denk’s bio is proof that whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. He’s emerged from the grueling lessons as a rock star! Denk’s recordings have reached #1 on the Billboard classical charts.

Thankfully, “Every Good Boy Does Fine” isn’t only the story of Denk’s professional growth. The memoir has a parallel, by turns funny, sad, ironic –gut-wrenching, narrative of Denk’s personal life.

His mother is an alcoholic. His Dad is demanding. His brother doesn’t know what to make of his obsession with classical music. Denk has a hard time becoming comfortable with being gay.

Denk knew early on that he was different from other kids. “I was eager to be brave,” he writes of the ecstatic moment at age 12 when he listened to the cassette of Mozart. “I wanted to share the moment with my parents.”

“But I worried,” Denk writes, “my father would make a joke, or my brother would think I was showing off, or my mother would ask why I hadn’t dusted the living room.”

Denk emerges from the memoir as endearingly human. He’s delighted to be kissed by Princess Diana (when he’s awarded the third prize in a competition). 

“Why do you play so loud?” a man asks him in the bathroom after he’s performed a concert in Munich.

You’re happy with Denk when he finds love.

“Every Good Boy Does Fine” is one of the best memoirs I’ve read this year. It’s never out-of-tune.

The Blade may receive commissions from qualifying purchases made via this post.

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Books

Author rails against racism and desire, politics, loss

‘Rage’ explores being ‘Queer, Black, Brilliant’

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“Rage: On Being Queer, Black, Brilliant… and Completely Over It”
By Lester Fabian Brathwaite
c.2024, Tiny Reparations Books
$28/288 pages

Somewhere up in the clouds.

That’s where your blood pressure is, right there as high as it’s ever been. Hoo, boy, are you angry. Your teeth are clenched, your eyes are slits, and you can’t trust yourself to speak in more than a growl. You’re plenty steamed and, as in the new book “Rage” by Lester Fabian Brathwaite, it shouldn’t have to be this way.

When he came with his family to America from Guyana at just four years old, Brathwaite couldn’t believe what his new home country offered. Malls, new kinds of food, cable television? Shirtless white men on TV and in magazines? Yes, please!

He’s always had crushes on white men, but he loves being a gay Black man – even though racism, overt and subtle, can be an aggravation. When Brathwaite is on a dating app, white men sometimes dismiss him with a racial comment. He’s heard and seen the “n-word” more than once and he doesn’t tolerate it. Wouldn’t a greeting and a no thanks be less rude?

He is bothered by unnecessary meanness.

He is bothered in a different way by bodybuilding. Hot, muscular bodies, to be exact and he’s sure that whoever created the sport was a genius. Brathwaite participates in bodybuilding himself sometimes – it’s expensive and he does it for himself, not for other men – though he believes that gay men are bodybuilding’s biggest subset. For sure, he’s payed homage to his share of bodybuilders, superheroes in movies, and hot shirtless boys on TV.

There were many times, years ago, that Brathwaite ended up drunk and in a stranger’s bed or looking for an old hook-up, and he was arrested once. Nearing 30, though, he realized that that life wasn’t what he wanted anymore. His knees couldn’t take it. Besides, he liked who he was and he liked his blackness. He realized that he didn’t need anyone else to be a hero of his tale. He could do it better himself.

One thing’s for certain: “Rage” lives up to its title.

At times, author Lester Fabian Brathwaite rails against so many things: racism and desire, club society, being a writer and editor, the generational differences between gay men, politics, and loss. At other times, he’s outRAGEous and hilarious, writing to readers as though he’s holding court in a cafe somewhere and you’d better listen up.

You should know that that means honesty – poking in the corners, calling things out for what they are, chastising people who need schooling on how to behave in a way that doesn’t leave room for nonsense. This arrives unabashed and raw, accompanied by plenty of profanity.

You’ve been warned.

And yet, Brathwaite’s candor and his blunt talk is fresh and different. This gay man doesn’t pussy-foot around, and getting his opinions without fluff feels good and right. Readers will appreciate that, and they might come away educated.

Generally speaking, this ain’t your Grandma’s book, unless Grandma likes real talk laced with profanity. If that’s so, then get “Rage.” You’ll both be mad for it.

The Blade may receive commissions from qualifying purchases made via this post.

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Books

Fall books offer something for every taste

Hollinghurst’s latest plus a look at Queer Harlem Renaissance

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('Flamboyants' book cover image courtesy Farrar, Straus and Giroux)

Welcome to the fall book season, where you’ll find gifts for your friends, family and (most importantly?) the best reads for yourself. This is when you’ll find the blockbuster novels you’ve been waiting for, the surprise memoirs and nonfiction that you’ve wanted, and gorgeous gift books your coffee table. This fall, keep your eyes open for all kinds of literary goodness.

NOVELS

Lovers of a good novel will want to curl up with a huge TBR pile.

Romance novels will fill the shelves this fall, and if love is what you want for the holidays, you’re in luck. Look for “The Rules of Royalty” by Cale Dietrich (Wednesday Books, December), a modern tale of a prince and a “commoner”; or “Feast While You Can” by Mikealla Clements and Onjuli Datta (Grand Central Publishing), a scary-romance-erotica novel of small-town life and monsters.

Reach for “Our Evenings: A Novel” by Alan Hollinghurst (Random House, October), a novel of a young man who happily accepts a scholarship to a boarding school filled with classmates who are much, much wealthier than he is. “The Wildes: A Novel in Five Acts” by Louis Bayard (Algonquin Books, September) is a historical novel about Oscar Wilde’s family.

For lovers of Gothic tales, look for “The Resurrectionist” by A. Rae Dunlap (Kensington, December), a tale of bodysnatching. Classics lovers will want to read “Private Rites: A Novel” by Julia Armfield (Flatiron Books, December), a queer reimagining of King Lear.  Or find “Women’s Hotel” by Daniel M. Lavery (HarperVia, October), a book about a second-rate women-only hotel in New York City.

If your taste runs more to rom-coms, there are dozens of those available this fall, too, as well as Christmas novels with gay, lesbian, and trans characters inside.

NONFICTION

Even nonfiction readers will have reason to read this fall and winter.

Look for “Flamboyants: The Queer Harlem Renaissance I Wish I’d Known” by George M. Johnson and Charly Palmer (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, September), a book about 1920s Harlem and the influential queer folks who left their marks on entertainment.

“Something, Not Nothing” by Sarah Leavitt (Arsenal Pulp Press, September) chronicles, in comic form, the death of Leavitt’s partner and the paths grief takes to healing. Learn more about LGBTQ history with “The Book of Awesome Queer Heroes: How the LGBTQ+ Community Changed the World for the Better” by Eric Rosswood and Kathleen Archambeau (Mango, December); check out Mary L. Trump’s heartbreaking memoir, “Who Could Ever Love You?” (St. Martin’s Press, September); or check out a collection of essays in “Songs On Endless Repeat: Essays and Outtakes” by Anthony Veasna So (Ecco, December). Look for “Want: Sexual Fantasies by Anonymous,” an anthology of secret confessions from women around the country, by Gillian Anderson (Abrams Press, September), or find “Queer Disability through History: The Queer and Disabled Movements Through Their Personalities” by Daisy Holder (Pen and Sword History, November). Also: Cher has a new biography out this fall, “The Memoir, Part One” (Dey Street Books, November).

Not quite what you’re looking for? Check with your favorite bookseller or librarian for more ideas because, this fall, they’ll have lots of them. Or give a gift certificate and hold on for spring. Season’s readings!

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Books

Two books to read when your child comes out as trans

Explaining what science knows about genetics and sexuality

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‘Free to Be: Understanding Kids & Gender Identity’
By Jack Turban, MD
c.2024, Atria
$29.99/304 pages

‘My Child is Trans, Now What?’
By Ben V. Greene
c.2024, Rowman & Littlefield
$26.95/203 pages

Your child has recently told you a secret that they can’t hold tight anymore.

You’ve suspected what they’re about to say for a long time. When they were small, they weren’t like other children. They may have even told you what they were thinking, even before they knew it themselves. But now you know, for sure, and so, going forward, you’re the loving parent of a child who’s trans, and there’s a learning curve.

These two books might help.

Surely, you must think that there has to be some science behind gender and identity, right? In “Free to Be: Understanding Kids & Gender Identity” by Jack Turban, MD (Atria, $29.99), you’ll follow the lives and struggles of three trans and gender diverse kids, Kyle, Sam, and Meredith, as Turban explains what science knows about genetics and sexuality.

To gain a basic understanding of the subject, says Turban, we need to look back in history to see how gender identity was perceived in the past and the attitudes that our ancestors held. He then touches upon language and “misnaming,” how social constructs attempt to set a child’s gender identity before it’s fully known, and why mothers often catch “blame” for something that’s never anyone’s “fault.” Further information on biology, puberty blockers, gender reassignment surgery for young trans people, and the “politics” of gender diversity round out this book nicely.

For the parent who wants a deeper dive into what makes their child tick and what they can do to make that kid’s life easier, this compassionate book is the one to read.

If you’re just finding out that your child is trans, then “My Child is Trans, Now What?” by Ben V. Greene (Rowman & Littlefield, $26.95) is a book to reach for now.

Beginning with the things you’ll want to know and understand immediately, this book is assuring and soothing – look, and you’ll see the word “joy” in its subtitle. Greene calls trans kids “VIPs,” and he means it, which sets a relaxing tone for what’s to come here.

In sharing his own experiences, Greene stresses that every trans experience is different, and he touches often upon his coming out. This launches discussions on topics like bathrooms, therapy (if you or your VIP want it), finding support, the politics of being trans, the stressors of medical treatment, and what it might be like to have even brief regrets. Greene finishes his book with advice on getting an education and living as a trans person.

“My Child is Trans, Now What?” is truly more of a book for parents and loved ones of trans teens or young adults. What’s in here goes well beyond childhood, so be aware before you reach for it on the shelf. And if these books aren’t enough, or don’t quite fit what you need, be sure to ask your favorite bookseller or librarian for more. In recent years, more and more authors have been willing to share their own journeys, making the transition one that doesn’t have to be so secret anymore.

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