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Queery: Paul Wharton

The local talk show host answers 20 gay questions

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Paul Wharton (Blade file photo by Michael Key)

With Paul Wharton, it’s usually about the hair. He calls to answer a few follow-up questions from the salon. It comes up repeatedly in conversation and anytime you see him — in photos, on TV or in person — it’s obvious his abundant coiffure is never an afterthought.

So when did it become such a trademark? He says it started as an excuse when he was a kid.

“I’ve always said having a bad hair day should be a legitimate reason to miss school and it really started from me being bullied in school,” he says. “I actually want to turn this into a book I’ve been working on for a long time. It was never really about my hair. It was an excuse to try to get to stay home. She never bought it though. She’d say, ‘Your hair is fine, now get on out the door.’”

Wharton says he noticed it becoming part of his on-screen persona when he first went into professional TV with the MTV show “Made” in 2003.

“I kind of went from curly to straight to curly to straight but I think now I’ve straightened it so much, it won’t really go back to curly like it used to. I’ve had too many blow outs, too much coloring over the years. I try it now and it just gets tangled. I used to have these really great corkscrew curls but I’ve overblown it I guess.”

Wharton, a 34-year-old Cleveland native who mostly grew up in the D.C. area, spent several years in New York working on his career. After “Made,” he was a model coach on VH-1’s “The Agency” and also worked on TV Land’s “She’s Got the Look,” TV One’s “MakeoverManor,” BET’s “Who Wore What” and, of course, Bravo’s “Real Housewives of D.C.” Look for him now on Sundays at noon on Channel 50 with “Paul Wharton Style,” a new series he calls a “fashion, beauty and lifestyle talk show,” that debuted this month.

“It’s evolved into something with a little more of a reality aspect,” he says. “We started more by showing the party or whatever the segment was and we started finding the more interesting stuff was following people around getting ready for it. …We wanted a sense of what my real life is, so it’s evolved into more of a lifestyle show.”

Wharton spent about seven years in New York but was lured back to D.C. by family and a former relationship. He’s single now and lives downtown with his dog, Oscar. Wharton enjoys writing and relaxing with spiritual coaching, yoga, massages, spas and church. Find him online at paulwhartonstyle.com.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I came out when I was 19. It was most difficult to tell my parents. They both needed some time and I gave them space. We’re all very close and they’re extremely supportive to this day.

Who’s your LGBT hero?

My LGBT heroes are the gay people I see strut down the street with over-the-top style, unafraid and unapologetic for being who they are. It takes a real man to pump down U Street on a Saturday night with skin-tight jeans, a face full of make-up and an attitude that says, “Don’t mess with me.”

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present? 

I like the bartenders and two-for-one drinks at Number 9 for happy hour, the eclectic crowd, old school music and dancing on the couches at Darnell’s Lounge on Fridays and the immensely entertaining Drag Show at Town on Saturday nights.

Describe your dream wedding.

My wedding would be officiated by my best friend Omarosa, she’d also give me spiritual counseling and advice on my pre-nuptial agreement (I joke!). I’d like all of my closest friends and family to surround us at the altar and for my godmother Rev. Marcia Dyson to bless our union and give my would-be husband the side eye so he knows not to mess up.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

Hunger and health care. I’m the ambassador against hunger at Capital Area Food Bank (capitalareafoodbank.org).

What historical outcome would you change?

The assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

I was 5 years old when Michael Jackson performed “Billie Jean” on Motown’s 25th anniversary show.

On what do you insist?

I insist on taking one day a week for myself without any obligations or a schedule to keep. No matter how crazed I get during the week, I know that I’ll have my day coming up soon.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

Tweet “Rollin to get my hair done then a photo shoot with @drewxeron and intrvw with @washingtonblade.

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“Bad Hair Days should be an Excused Absence from School”

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

I would break into the science lab late at night and pour the evil orientation-changing formula down the drain. God made me this way and I’m not changing.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world?

I believe in love and the healing power of love. I believe that we have a spiritual father that with our angels watch over us and guide us through our journey. I believe in faith because without it and all of my other beliefs, my life would seem pretty meaningless.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

My message would be to not give up no matter how much you don’t feel heard or appreciated (even by your own LGBT community). Continue to stand for something and let your voice be heard on behalf of the people.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

That’s a long list. My family, my hair stylist, world peace, large sums of cash — we could be here all day.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

I’m most annoyed when I’m in a business meeting and a straight male executive starts talking in gay street slang usually, “Oh no she didn’t” or some other played-out saying while waving his neck from side to side. When it’s time to do business, I like to do business.

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

“The Birdcage” is my favorite. I’ve seen it 50 times and still find it hilarious. I also liked “The Broken Hearts Club,” “Milk” and “Brokeback Mountain.”

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Saying goodbye to other guests at a social event is really overrated. I don’t think it’s necessary to work the room with 100 hellos shaking hands and kissing babies and then when you’re ready to leave, doing it all over again. When I’m ready to roll, I’m out.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

My three awards from D.C. Child and Family Services acknowledging my work with the Foster Youth program.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

I wish I had known to keep a journal. Every now and then I have a flash back to a party, person or amazing experience and I run over to my desk and write it down. I feel like I’ve had five lives and it’d be really mind blowing to be able to look back on them in full detail.

Why Washington?

I lived in New York for several years and still spend a lot of time there. New York is fabulous but there’s no place like home. I really do feel this city is beautiful and full of opportunities and endless possibilities. D.C. has been good to me and I’d always like to have a home here … and St. Tropez!

 

 

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Nightlife

D.C.’s gay DJ collective CTRL returns

Electropop group resurfaces at Trade on March 30

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CTRL is back after a six-year absence.

Finger lasers, confetti cannons, drag shows, photo booths, throwback tunes, and a touch nerdy: after a long break, D.C.’s gay DJ collective CTRL is throwing its first party in six years.

Born in an Eritrean restaurant more than a decade ago, this longstanding gay nightlife electropop group is resurfacing with a comeback event at Trade on March 30.

Gay DJs Adam Koussari-Amin, Jeff Prior, Devon Trotter, and Brett Andreisen hosted the first CTRL party at now-closed restaurant Dahlak, on the corner of 18th and U Streets. After a year of hosting pop-ups in that restaurant’s dining room, they upgraded down 18th Street to now-closed gay club Cobalt. There, the parties grew: drag shows, a pop-up photo booth from David Claypool, and quirky activations like throwing hot dogs into print-outs of Putin’s mouth. Their productions grew as well, like producing the now-defunct Brightest Young Gays (BYG) Pride events at Wonderbread Factory and Union Market and the ‘Get Wet’ pool party with David Brown’s Otter Crossing at the Capitol Skyline Hotel.

CTRL wasn’t done. The group received its biggest stage yet after a call from Ed Bailey, the owner of now-closed gay club Town, as well as current gay bars Number 9 and Trade. At Town, the opportunity “allowed our creativity to flourish with even bigger performances, bigger photo experiences, crazier hand-outs, and the same electropop dance vibes our fans had come to know us for,” says Koussari-Amin.

CTRL pressed pause when Town shut down, which “was a huge loss to the LGBTQIA+ community and D.C. nightlife in general,” says Koussari-Amin. After that, it hosted an occasional spinoff called QWERTY. Post-pandemic, Koussari-Amin has spent a few nights solo as DJ at Trade and other venues.

After connecting with Jesse Jackson, the Trade general manager, as well as with Bailey, who agreed to host the inaugural event, Koussari-Amin was determined to shift CTRL back to life.

However, getting the old band back together proved to be a challenge. While the rest of the group have either left Washington, D.C., or are pursuing other projects, Koussari-Amin received their blessing to stay on and find new members. 

“When it came to finding new partners, both DJ Dez [Desmond Jordan] and DJ Lemz [Steve Lemmerman] were obvious choices,” he says, noting that “they also have distinct styles and interests.” Dez has a residency at Pitchers and Kiki as well as pop-ups, and Lemz throws events like Sleaze and BENT.

 “It seemed important to come back to the nightlife table with an experience that could complement all the amazing experiences that have even built up since CTRL threw its last event at Town. Bringing back both the DJ collective and the CTRL event with Dez and Lemz means new voices, perspectives, sounds, and excitement.”

“CTRL is an opportunity for the community to come together, enjoy music, drinks, and good vibes,” adds Jordan, noting that for him, it’s an event that celebrates queer identity.

And after months of planning, CTRL will kick off its monthly party series at Trade on March 30 for the first gig after its glow-up.

The trio says that its core inspiration “is driven by the indie and electropop favorites of new and old, like Goldfrapp, Ava Max, Charli XCX, … We’re also all huge fans of slut and trash pop music like Kim Petras, Slayyyter, Cupcakke,” as well as pop diva remixes, new bops, and songs that reside inside and far beyond the expanse of Top 40.

CTRL is also bringing back its activations that complement the tunes. Summer Camp is set for drag performances, David Claypool is back with his photo booth, and Koussari-Amin promises “to have all sorts of weird and wacky handouts like we used to.”

After the March premiere, April’s party is “CTRLella”, a Coachella send-up. Future events will feature various different themes, and they plan to throw a party during Capital Pride; they’re also looking to be a central part of Trade’s expansion into the adjacent space.

 Koussari-Amin says that “the event’s signature experience [is] a lynchpin in connecting D.C.’s expanding generations of queer folks, giving everyone a safe space to let loose and feel a rush no matter who they are.” 

For his part, Bailey continues to support CTRL and its collective intention, expressing its essential nature as a party for partiers by partiers. “CTRL is the kind of party that represents what people want. It’s just a real party by real people that just want to hear good music and dance with their friends.”

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Celebrity News

HRC releases ‘Queer Renaissance Syllabus’

Beyoncé’s hit album inspired curriculum

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Beyoncé performs at FedEx Field in Landover, Md., on Aug. 6, 2023. The Human Rights Campaign has released a curriculum that her "Renaissance" album inspired. (Washington Blade photo by Isabelle Kravis)

In a move aimed at celebrating the beauty, brilliance and resilience of the LGBTQ community, the Human Rights Campaign unveiled the “Queer Renaissance Syllabus” that Beyoncé’s “Renaissance” album inspired. 

Curated by Justin Calhoun, Leslie Hall and Chauna Lawson of the HRC’s Historically Black Colleges and Universities Program, the syllabus includes a variety of academic articles, essays, films and other media rooted in Black queer and feminist studies. Each piece is directly inspired by the tracks on Beyoncé’s Billboard 200-topping dance album, “Renaissance.”

Beyoncé’s album “Renaissance” stands as a cultural milestone, celebrating the Black queer roots of dance music while shedding light on overlooked Black queer artists. Inspired by her late-Uncle Johnny, the album not only garnered critical acclaim but also shed light on the often marginalized contributions of Black queer artists. Winning four Grammys and yielding chart-topping hits like “Break My Soul” and “Cuff It,” the album sparked discussions about economic impact and cultural representation.

Amid its success, legislative challenges arose, with Florida and Texas enacting bans on DEI initiatives in public colleges. Recognizing the album’s transformative potential, HRC developed the “Queer Renaissance Syllabus” to leverage its impact for education and activism.

Tailored for educators, youth-serving professionals, DEI practitioners, higher education leaders and admirers of Beyoncé’s artistry, the syllabus aims to encourage meaningful discussions, enrich lesson plans, and explore innovative ways to honor the vibrancy and significance of LGBTQ individuals and their culture.

With six themes anchoring the syllabus, ranging from “intersectionality and inclusivity” to “social justice and activism,” it provides a comprehensive exploration of various facets of LGBTQ experiences and expressions. Fan-favorite tracks from the album are paired with scholarly readings, offering insights into empowerment, self-acceptance and the transformative power of artistic expression. The syllabus also reinforces HRC’s efforts to highlight, amplify and re-center Black and queer voices.

By providing links to articles, books, podcasts and interviews, each associated with a song from the album, it celebrates the rich cultural heritage and contributions of the Black queer community.

The concluding section of the syllabus includes Beyoncé’s tribute to O’Shea Sibley, a young Black queer person who was murdered in Brooklyn, N.Y., last July while voguing to “Renaissance” songs at a gas station. HRC also includes a statement that condemns hate crimes.

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Movies

Neo-noir ‘Femme’ offers sexy, intense revenge fantasy

A work of real and thrilling cinematic vision

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George MacKay and Nathan Stewart-Jarrett star in ‘Femme.’ (Photo courtesy of Utopia)

They say “revenge is sweet,” and it must be true. Why else would so many of our popular stories, dating all the way back to “Medea” and beyond, be focused on the idea of getting “even” with the people who have done us wrong?

It’s a concept with obvious appeal for anyone who has felt unjustly used by the world – or, more accurately, by the people in it – but that has particular resonance, perhaps, for modern queer audiences, long used to being relegated to the status of “victim” in the narratives we see on our screens. In “Femme” — the new UK indie thriller helmed by first-time feature directors Sam H. Freeman and Ng Choon Ping, now in limited theatrical release and expanding wider over the next two weeks — it provides the irresistible hook for a gripping tale of calculated vengeance in the face of anti-queer violence. Like the best of such stories, however, it’s as much a cautionary tale as it is a wish-fulfillment fantasy.

Set in London, it centers on Jules (Nathan Stewart-Jarrett), aka Aphrodite Banks, a popular drag performer in the city’s queer club scene who, after a performance one night, steps out in full costume to buy a pack of cigarettes and becomes the victim of a traumatic “gay bashing” incident at the hands of a young man goaded to violence by a thuggish gang of friends. Months later, though he’s recovered from his physical injuries, he is still deeply affected by the inner scars that linger. Robbed of the confidence that allowed him to perform, he’s withdrawn into a reclusive life, until concern from his friends and housemates prompts him to finally venture out into the world for a night of cruising at a gay sauna – where he encounters his bully doing the same thing. 

Unrecognizable and anonymously masculine out of his drag persona, Jules finds himself beginning a dangerous and duplicitous game in which he plans to “out” his former attacker – whose name, as he learns, is Preston (George MacKay) – in the most humiliating way possible. As his scheme begins to play out, however, he encounters an obstacle: in getting to know the closeted Preston, he is surprised to discover not only empathy for someone living their life in terrified camouflage, but a mutual attraction that develops despite the horrific history between them.

Framed as a self-described “neo-noir” story, a designation that implies a certain flavor of moral ambiguity as much as it does a tense and shadowy tale of intrigue or a psychologically complex tone, it’s a movie that relies heavily on style in order to sell its conceptual premise. Realistically, we might question the boldness that permits our protagonist to enact such a potentially hazardous scheme, but in the context of its genre trappings we are lulled into accepting it. And while most of us are likely “jaded” enough to question the possibility of tenderness between its two leading characters, the accepted conceits of the film noir form are enough to sell it to us – or at least allow us to grapple with it alongside Jules, whose righteously Machiavellian master plan is threatened by the feelings he “catches” in spite of himself.

That, of course, is part of the whole point. “Femme,” though it establishes itself by virtue of its very title as a testament to the struggle to “pass” for straight in a world that places a value judgment on perceived adherence to a strict norm for gender and sexuality, hinges on the idea that such things aren’t quite as clear-cut as we want to make them. Despite the black-and-white certainty we cling to when it comes to the subject of abusive or toxic relationships, there’s an emotional component that can only be ignored or dismissed at our peril, and even our most resolute intentions can be undermined by the shades of gray we discover in our hearts. 

Freeman and Ng – who also wrote the screenplay, adapting their own BAFTA-nominated short film from 2021 (starring Harris Dickinson and Paapa Essiedu) into a feature-length expansion – seem bent on challenging our snap judgments, on forcing us to sympathize with our oppressors by showing us the ways in which they, too, are prevented from living a fully authentic life by the expectations of their cultural environment. Even more challenging for many modern audiences, perhaps, may be the unavoidable observation that, in enacting his plan of revenge, Jules crosses the line between being a victim and being a victimizer – a fine point that may trigger uncomfortable implications in a social environment that has become marked by divisive moral constructs and hardline ethical posturing.

Before we scare you off with discussion of high-concept themes and “culture war” rhetoric, however, it’s crucial to bring up the elements that lift “Femme” above and beyond the level of so many such narrative films and makes it a somewhat unexpectedly potent piece of cinematic storytelling – and all of them have to do with the skill and intention behind it.

As to the former, the movie’s first-time directors manage a remarkable debut, steeping their film in moody, genre-appropriate visuals and murky morality. They pave a path beyond the easy assessments proscribed for us by conventional thinking, and force us to follow our sympathies into a disquieting confrontation between what we “know” as right and what we feel as true; at the same time, they push back against any natural sentimentality we might have about the situation, stressing the toxicity of the relationship in the middle of their film, the ironically-reversed insincerity of its dynamic – and, perhaps most importantly, the reality of the defining circumstances around it. While we might find ourselves longing for a happier resolution than the one we expect, the film makes no pretense that these two men might overcome the deep denial and traumatic associations – not to mention the calculated lack of honesty on the side of its de facto protagonist, to achieve some kind of “happy ending” between themselves. Nevertheless, we hope for it, in spite of ourselves.

That delicate dynamic works largely because of the movie’s lead actors. Both Stewart-Jarrett (“Candyman”) and MacKay (“Pride”, “1917”) deliver fully invested, utterly relatable performances, finding the emotional truth behind their interactions with as much palpable authenticity as they bring to the chemistry between them. They force us to abandon our preconceived ideas about each character by finding the human presence behind them, and it makes the story’s final outcome feel as heartbreaking as it does inevitable.

As for intention, “Femme” – which premiered at last year’s Berlin International Film Festival and went on to gather acclaim across the international film fest circuit – might be a little hard to take for the easily triggered, we won’t deny it. Still, it’s a work of real and thrilling cinematic vision that goes beyond easy morality to highlight the tragedy that comes from being forced to live behind a mask for the sake of societal acceptance. It’s also exciting, smart, and unexpectedly sexy – all of which make it a highly- recommended addition to your watchlist.

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