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Getting in the game

It’s never to late to join one of the local LGBT sports leagues

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The D.C. Gay Flag Football League, one of dozens of LGBT sports outfits in the region. (Photo courtesy Kevin Majoros)

Last month at the Capital Pride festival, I was enjoying the sights of the day and eventually made my way over to the LGBT sports teams that were all lined up in a row at the center of the causeway.

After visiting with several of the teams, I ran into a friend who felt compelled to give me his impression of what he felt the LGBT sports teams were all about.

He ran a few steps on his tiptoes and pretended to throw a ball with a limp wrist.

Over the past decade, I have been at local LGBT volleyball tournaments, soccer matches, rowing regattas, flag football games, basketball tournaments, swim meets and the list goes on.

I have never seen anyone who resembled the twinkle toes that my friend portrayed.

The 30+ LGBT sports teams in the D.C. area are made up of over 2,500 athletes with varying degrees of ability.  Some are just beginning in their chosen sport, and some are world record holders.

One thing that they do have in common is that they are all part of a team and part of a community.

What a lot of people don’t realize is that by just taking that first step towards one of the local LGBT sports groups can lead to a lot of positive changes in their lives.

I recently spoke to a woman who decided to take that step four years ago by signing up for a local Learn to Row program.  Upon completion of the program, she decided to try competitive rowing.

The competitive rowing led to ergometer training (stationary rowing), strength training and eventually cycling.  She recently completed a 100 mile bike ride for charity.

All these accomplishments came from a 40 year old woman who had never participated in sports up to that point.  “You’re an athlete now,” I said.  She just blushed with pride.

Although I have been in sports my whole life, it was just a few short years ago that I experienced a moment that defined what sports could feel like for someone trying it for the first time.

After four days of competition, I had completed my swimming races at the International Gay & Lesbian Aquatic (IGLA) Championships and volunteered to be a timer for the rest of the meet.

Up on the blocks came a heat of swimmers competing in the 200 Medley Relay which consists of four people on each team swimming 50 meters of the four strokes.  Up first is the backstroke followed by breaststroke, butterfly and freestyle.

The swimmers in my lane were somewhat older and obvious beginners.  The race started with all the backstrokers heading out to the first turn.  As they came back towards the wall, the breastrokers all adjusted their goggles and prepared to begin their leg of the relay.

After the breaststroker in my lane made the turn 25 meters away and began heading back to the blocks, we all saw it; his goggles had come down and planted themselves squarely in his mouth.

Not only was his vision impaired by not having the goggles over his eyes, his breathing was also being impaired by the obstruction.  While everyone around the blocks was mumbling about his misfortune, I happened upon the look in his eyes.

They were huge and filled with the fierce determination that can only come from having three other swimmers depending on you.  He was going to finish that race, no matter what obstacle, and he was going to finish it to the best of his ability.

I had goose bumps and even got a little teary.  This guy was truly a hero and truly an athlete.

So what are you waiting for?  Put yourself out there.  Find the athlete that lives inside of all of us.

Most of the local LGBT sports teams can be found at teamdc.org.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Television

Repression, toxic masculinity fuel intense queer drama ‘Half Man’

A solidly crafted, well-acted, fascinating binge watch

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Jamie Bell and Richard Gadd in ‘Half Man.’ (Photo courtesy of BBC1/HBO Max)

In 2024, when Richard Gadd’s “Baby Reindeer” became a stock-boosting hit for Netflix, there were few Americans who knew his name.

In the UK, however, the Scottish writer/comedian/actor had already emerged as a talent to be reckoned with, blending autobiographical stand-up comedy with theater to create a reputation as an edgy and provocative creator whose shows tended to be equal parts divisive and successful. One of these, his fictionalized true-life story of being stalked and sexually harassed by a female fan, became an Olivier Award-winning hit in the London theater; that was “Baby Reindeer,” and – in the form of a seven-episode miniseries adaptation – it became the vehicle that carried him to wider fame.

Two years later, Gadd has returned with another high-profile miniseries, this time for HBO Max, and like its predecessor, it’s a story that deals with queer sexual repression, unhealthy attachments, and a central relationship that can safely be described without exaggeration as “toxic” – and it’s an even darker (and more twisted) ride that stretches across decades. 

“Half Man,” which debuted on April 23 and continues with one episode per week through May 14, is the story of two “brothers” – Niall (Jamie Bell) and Ruben (Gadd) – whose mothers (Neve McIntosh and Marianne McIvor) have become a lesbian couple after leaving their relationships with the boys’ respective fathers. They are seeming opposites in personality; Niall is quiet, sensitive, and secretly unsure about his sexuality, while Ruben is tough, rebellious, and prone to violence – and unsurprisingly, it’s a match made in hell.

We meet them at the top of the first episode as adults, on the day of Niall’s wedding, when Ruben shows up without warning; his appearance triggers what looks like fear in his “brother from another lover,” and a private meeting between them in a barn at the wedding site turns ugly, launching a flashback format that takes us back to their schooldays, when young Ruben (Stuart Campbell) – already in trouble with the law and trying for a new start – comes home from juvenile detention to become roommate, protector, and bully to young Niall (Mitchell Robertson), all in one.

It’s the dawn of a new and epic relationship, despite a history that has made Niall terrified of the older boy; their seemingly opposite qualities somehow mesh into a kind of symbiotic bubble, in which a tense equilibrium turns them into unlikely allies. Ruben makes sure Niall has nothing to fear from the sniggering schoolyard homophobes who target him, and Niall helps Ruben pass the tests he needs to pass in order to stay in school, Nevertheless, their dynamic is equal parts surprisingly tender and alarmingly lopsided. Though they form a bond, it’s a volatile one, and by the end of episode one – after an uncomfortable-to-watch late night incident that amounts to a sexual assault – there is little doubt that Ruben is a psychopath. By then, however, it’s too late; Niall has become hopelessly ensnared by his manipulations, and their dangerous attachment has taken permanent root.

In episode two, the timeline moves the past forward several years (while rolling the wedding-day story back a few hours as well), bringing Niall forward to his college years. Ruben is once again absent from his life, but the bond is still deep. He struggles to make connections in his new setting – including with another student, the openly gay Alby (Bilal Hasna), who recognizes a side of him that he has still yet to accept for himself. Though he gradually begins to adapt to his new social circle, his insecurities get the better of him – and despite warnings from his mother not to do so, he calls Ruben to come and visit. His arrival triggers another escalating series of incidents, this time entangling Niall’s new friends and culminating in a shocking, jealous-fueled explosion of violence.

Without going on with the story – after all, the two remaining episodes have yet to be released, so we wouldn’t want to spoil anything – it’s safe to say there’s a pattern here, and it’s intentional.

Gadd has already been public about his own struggles with repression, which were directly explored (albeit fictionally) in “Baby Reindeer,” and it’s clear that he had more to say about the effects they had on his life and identity.

As he put it himself, in an interview with the Hollywood Reporter, “Themes of, I guess, masculinity, or what it means to be a man, or ‘I’ve gone through a masculinity crisis’ come into [the show] probably because I’ve been through that in my life, and I feel I can write to it and speak to it.

“I always think that the best kind of art is kept close to your chest, kept close to your heart, kept close to your experiences, and I guess with ‘Half Man,’ there’s a lot in it that I relate to. It’s not an autobiographical piece by any stretch, it’s purely fiction, but it certainly borrows from themes and struggles and issues that I understand.”

That understanding translates to the series through its focus on tracing the roots of Niall and Ruben’s relationship by methodically tracking the cause-and-effect chain that links the major events of their lives together. It explores the contradictory combination of worship and terror, the transgressive eroticism that intertwines danger and desire, the power of the forbidden to make us want it more, and the self-loathing that punishes itself through violence toward others. The inverted framework of the storytelling, which works both forward and back to meet at (we assume) some definitive point, makes following it a bit like putting together a puzzle, which also has the effect of building suspense as we wait to see the “moment of truth.”

Of course, those who prefer a more straightforward narrative might not appreciate the additional challenge, especially when the subject matter – which revolves around experiences, feelings, and behavior that might be entirely unfamiliar to many audiences – is challenging enough by itself, in its own way. Likewise, and for much the same reason, there will be viewers who are unable to relate to its characters, as some of the show’s less-favorable reviews have pointed out.

But it would be naive to assume that the themes in “Half Man” – of fragile masculinity, internalized homophobia, misdirected rage, nihilistic rebellion, conflicted desires, projected shame, and the other ingredients that infuse this shadow-boxing psychodrama with such a distinctive musky odor – do not apply to more men in today’s culture of incels, “looksmaxxers,” and “the Man-o-sphere” than any of them would like to admit. We’d wager that its portrait of a same-sex, sub/Dom, borderline incestuous relationship might resonate more urgently there than within a queer community that has been grappling with those issues for generations already and are just waiting for everybody else to catch up.

In any case, Gadd’s newest variation on a theme is a solidly crafted, well-acted, and hypnotically fascinating (if sometimes uncomfortable) exercise in the kind of “can’t look away” drama that makes for a perfect binge watch. Or, at least, it will once all the episodes drop.

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PHOTOS: Miss Gay Western Maryland

Maria R. Posa crowned winner at Lodge pageant

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Maria R. Posa is crowned Miss Gay Western Maryland 2026 at The Lodge on Friday, May 1. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The Miss Gay Western Maryland pageant was held at The Lodge in Boonsboro, Md. on Friday, May 1. Maria R. Posa was crowned the winner with Aura Fixation named first alternate. Both winners are qualified to compete in the 2026 Miss Gay Maryland America pageant.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

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Arts & Entertainment

A reign defined by commitment and human impact

Nicole Murray Ramirez defined era in International Imperial Court System

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Nicole Murray Ramirez (Washington Blade file photo by Vladyslav Rekhovskyy)

Writing about the reign of Nicole Murray Ramirez and the close leadership of King Father Terry Sidie requires far more than listing achievements, because what has been built over these years cannot be reduced to titles, ceremonies, or public recognition. It must be understood as the result of a sustained vision rooted in service, memory, solidarity, and the real ability to build bridges within and beyond the LGBTQ community.

At this point, looking back and assessing this period means acknowledging that this was not just another chapter in the history of the International Imperial Court System. It was a time shaped by far-reaching initiatives, a clear commitment to concrete causes, and a style of leadership that moved confidently between symbolic representation and public action. In that context, Nicole Murray Ramirez’s announcement that her reign will conclude in February 2027, along with the coronation of the person who will assume the throne as the new Queen Mother of the Americas, should not be read simply as the end of an era, but as a moment to fully recognize what has been built while also understanding that a new chapter is about to begin.

One of the most defining aspects of this reign has been its understanding that visibility alone is not enough. Visibility matters, but it only becomes meaningful when it leads to action, support, and measurable change. That has been a consistent strength of the work led by Nicole Murray Ramirez alongside key figures such as Terry Sidie.

The Jose Nicole Terry Scholarship and Educational Fund reflects that commitment. Reaching $400,000 is significant, but what matters most is what that represents in terms of opportunity and access.

This leadership also prioritized historical memory through initiatives like the National LGBTQ Wall of Honor at the Stonewall Inn and the recognition of Jose Julio Sarria.

Efforts such as the Harvey Milk postage stamp, the USNS Harvey Milk, and multiple recognitions for Sarria reflect a sustained commitment to public recognition and justice.

International outreach, financial support to global causes, advocacy for transgender communities, and engagement with organizations beyond national borders further define this period.

The expansion into Canada and the opening of a new chapter that includes Puerto Rico highlight the evolving nature of this leadership. The upcoming June coronation marks an important step in that direction.

Acknowledging that the reign was not perfect does not weaken its legacy. It reinforces its authenticity.

This was not an individual effort. It was collective work supported by a broad network.

As the transition toward Feb. 5, 2027, continues, what remains is a legacy built on action, commitment, and responsibility.

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