Arts & Entertainment
Faith of our fathers
40-year-old gay Catholic group defies Vatican yet seeks communion
All the mainline Christian denominations by now have gay subgroups that have formed and many in the U.S. ā Episcopalians, United Methodists and others ā can point to huge strides theyāve made over the last several decades in persuading their hierarchies to acknowledge their presence.
Dignity/Washington, the largest chapter of the LGBT Roman Catholic group DignityUSA, has made so little progress making Vatican teaching less gay-condemning, the group, in many ways, has moved on to other goals it considers more realistic and achievable. The lone victories its members can count on that front are being invited indoors for a 1978 rainstorm during a weekend-long prayer vigil they held at the National Conference of Catholic Bishops at its former headquarters on Massachusetts Avenue (it didnāt foster a long-term dialogue) and a wave from current Pope Benedict XVI (Joseph Ratzinger) in the summer of 2010 (accompanying soon-to-be Cardinal Donald Wuerl did not follow suit).
If anything, the Vatican has become more anti-gay over the years. Though several regional parishes had long allowed Dignity groups to meet on their property, in 1986 Ratzinger, writing as the Vaticanās official keeper of church morality, issued a letter stating that gays and lesbians are āintrinsically disorderedā and that gay organizations were no longer allowed the use of church property. Itās only gotten worse in recent years ā in January, Pope Benedict condemned same-sex marriage efforts and called gay marriage, in an ironic choice of words, a threat āto human dignity and the future of humanity itself ā¦ pride of place goes to the family based on the marriage of a man and woman.ā
And it wasnāt just talk ā the Roman Catholic Church gave $2 million this year to unsuccessful efforts to outlaw same-sex marriage with Novemberās ballot initiatives in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota and Washington state, according to the Human Rights Campaign. As pro-LGBT efforts of any kind have taken root elsewhere, the Vatican has increasingly dug in its heels. Official church teaching is that although gays should ābe accepted with respect, compassion and sensitivity,ā āhomosexual acts are intrinsically disorderedā and āsexual activity only exists for the purpose of procreation.ā
DignityUSA, however, has persevered. The Washington chapter, formed in the fall of 1972 (three years after the national group) and one of 45 active U.S. chapters, has its 40thĀ anniversary events (āForty and Fabulous on the Firstā) this weekend. On Saturday evening, a reception and dinner will be held at Clydeās Restaurant (707 7thĀ St., N.W.) with gay actor/singer Will Gartshore providing entertainment. On Sunday, Sr. Jeannine Gramick (Sisters of Loretto) will give the homily at a special āanniversary Mass.ā The group meets weekly for a 6 p.m. Mass at St. Margaretās Church, an Episcopal parish at 1820 Connecticut Ave., N.W. Details are at dignitywashington.org.
The sheer numbers are daunting. The Roman Catholic Church is the worldās largest Christian church with more than a billion members worldwide. It claims it is the one true church founded by Jesus Christ, that its bishops are the successors of Christās apostles and Pope Benedict is the successor to the biblical figure Peter. Though there was no recognized papacy until later centuries, Rome has named an unbroken line of bishops that dates to Peter and the first century. The Archdiocese of Washington did not respond to a request for comment for this article. Dignity/Washington members say relations with it are prickly at best.
āThereās no sense that the local archdiocese has evolved at all,ā says Tom Bower, a gay member for almost the whole time the D.C. group has existed, a board member for eight years and co-chair for the anniversary committee. āThey absolutely find us quite beyond the pale.ā
DignityUSA, a U.S. group as its name implies (similar but unaffiliated gay Catholic groups exist in other countries), has about 6,000 dues-paying members, according to Executive Director Marianne Duddy-Burke, a lesbian, and an operating budget at the national level of about $550,000 though the chapters have their own budgets.
Itās a big weekend for the organization ā the Boston chapter is also celebrating its 40thĀ anniversary. San Diego, Chicago and New York also formed chapters in 1972. Dignity/Washington started with a group of about 20 at its first Mass. It moved from twice-monthly to weekly Mass in 1976. Membership and Mass attendance peaked at about 500 and 350 respectively in the late ā80s. By late 1990, it had become the largest Dignity chapter in the U.S., a feat it maintains to this day, though membership is now about 200 with an average of 90-100 believers attending weekly Dignity Mass in D.C.
It owns its own building in Eastern Market that houses offices and provides space to other LGBT organizations such as Brother Help Thyself and Imperial Court. As with most Dignity chapters, Dignity/Washington prefers to let other churches host its services rather than build its own sanctuary.
āMost of our chapters are kind of hand to mouth,ā Duddy-Burke says. āWe pay our rent and our basic expenses, we have the weekly bulletins and we underwrite memberships for low-income people and most of our chapters give back to their own communities in some way. ā¦ Our model really isnāt based on the institutional model. We focus on the church as more of a community than a building.ā
Despite the daunting odds, the group is celebrating. Bower says the groupās mere survival is a reason to be ecstatic.
āThe official church would very much like us to disappear,ā he says. āWe show that you can be gay and Catholic at the same time and happily so and despite the major efforts of a much bigger organization to throw us out. Weāre part of a national organization and when the Pope comes out against something gay, weāre able to say, āNo, thatās wrong.āā
Bob Miailovich, a member for 35 years ā someone left a Dignity brochure on his car while he was in a gay bar ā agrees.
āThis small group of gay men got together back in the early ā70s ā who would have ever envisioned this thing being as big as it is and the ongoing evolution of this group. I mean weāre a small group of sort of churchy guys, but itās really opened up and I think weāre more broadly attuned to the world at this time and to what faith is all about.ā
Despite the political and spiritual cold shoulder, DignityUSA wants to be recognized by the Holy See, the Roman Catholic Churchās central governing body. Itās a key component to the organizationās mission. While many LGBT Christian groups, Catholic and otherwise, have started their own denominations with no interest whatsoever in swaying the Vatican, Dignity, at its very core, feels that itās important to stay within the church and fight as much as possible. Though many gay Christians cannot fathom wanting anything to do with the Roman Catholic Church after centuries of anti-gay teaching, Dignity members say itās essential.
āPeople think, āOh, why do you keep banging your head against the wall?āā Bower says. āThatās why we call it faith. Itās a belief that there is within the larger view of what it means to be Catholic, thereās something there that you just donāt have with other groups.ā
Miailovich says despite the anti-gay teachings, he still āfind(s) more truth in the Catholic Church than I do in other religions. Itās not perfect and I donāt buy everything at the end of the day but from what I know of other religions and what they teach and believe, I find more truth on the Catholic side than elsewhere else.ā
As one might expect considering its size, millions have left the Catholic Church for all kinds of reasons and to varying degrees. Hard though it may be for LGBT people to fathom, there are even strains of Catholicism that have broken off from Rome because they feel the Vatican has gotten too liberal.
The most notorious is the Mexico City-based New Jerusalem, a gated community of about 3,000 that was founded in 1973 as a reaction to the Second Vatican Council of 1962-1965, a hugely influential change in Church teaching that allowed Masses to be said in languages besides Latin among many other things. Several āTraditionalist Catholicā splinter groups also revolted against Vatican II reform, but New Jerusalem is widely regarded as the most extreme ā TV, radios, alcohol, makeup and pants for women are forbidden. Residents attend church three times daily, donāt recognize any post-Vatican II Roman church leaders and think Benedict is the anti-Christ. Fundamentalist splinter groups occur in other religions as well ā the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints received massive media attention in recent years when its leader was convicted of two felony counts of child sexual assault.
Other groups have broken away on the opposite side of the theological spectrum. The North American Old Catholic Church considers itself a ā2,000-year-old church with Apostolic successionā and teaches the āfull inclusion of LGBT persons in our religious life, sacraments and clergy.ā It also advocates for āthe full inclusion of LGBT persons throughout society.ā Two gay-welcoming Old Catholic churches were launched in Washington ā one in 2011 and another this yearā but appear to be inactive. Neither Presiding Bishop Rev. Michael Seneco, whoās gay, nor Rev. Kerolos Saleib of Saint Damien of Molokai Parish responded to multiple requests for comment or had recently updated websites. The churches that hosted them say theyāre no longer meeting there. Salieb held a series of Masses at National City Christian Church during the International AIDS Conference this summer but fled the country soon after under mysterious circumstances. Duddy-Burke says many similar groups have come and gone over the years.
Denomination hopping between Episcopalians and Catholics, perhaps the two most stylistically similar denominations in the U.S., has been going on for all kinds of reasons for decades. Many progressive believers left the Catholic Church to find more gay- and women-friendly theology among Episcopalians, the Anglican Church in the U.S. The Catholic Church in recent years has started welcoming a spate of disenfranchised former Episcopalians who left disappointed that the church had become more gay-friendly. Others Episcopalians still, as has been widely reported, left their U.S. dioceses to align with more conservative Anglicans in other countries.
Bower says for him, converting to the Episcopal faith is not feasible.
“There are some basic theological differences between Catholicism and Episcopalianism,” he says. “Even in something as basic as Communion and the notion of transubstantiation. We really believe there is a change in the body and blood. They see it more as a memorial. And there’s a whole historical precedent of difference between the Roman and English churches.”
Others are pushing as far as they can under Vatican leadership and not just on LGBT issues. A lengthy article in the current edition of Rolling Stone magazine tells the stories of Sister Simone Campbell, Sister Margaret Farley and others who are ārefusing to back down from the Catholic Church itself up to and including the Pope. On issues ranging from gay rights to abortion, the nuns are either openly contradicting church dogma or quietly undermining it with their silence, choosing instead to embrace a radical notion of missionary work that wouldnāt be out of place at an Occupy Wall Street rally: income inequality, universal health care, corporate responsibility, immigration reform,ā and elsewhere reproductive rights. A group called Roman Catholic Womenpriests includes former nuns, ordains women as priests and holds women-led Masses.
Campbell, who didnāt immediately respond to a Blade interview request, told Rolling Stone, the same anti-LGBT beliefs are equally as harmful to women in the exclusively male-led Vatican.
āYouāve got to realize that any crowd that took 350 years to figure out Galileo might be right is not noted for rapid change,ā she told Rolling Stone. āThis is about a cultural clash between monarchy, in which the monarch is always right, and democracy where everybody has equal dignity, responsibility and opportunity, women and men. The whole idea that we live in a pluralistic society is news to these guys.ā
The combined effect of all this shifting is a diminished Vatican hurt by a range of factors, from those turned off by its increasingly right-leaning teachings to millions lost and incalculable damage incurred by the clergy abuse scandals of recent years. Benedict, at times, has seemed almost cavalier about the loss, advocating for a āsmaller, purerā church and saying that a church that seeks āabove all to be attractive is already on the wrong path.ā
Regardless of oneās political or religious views, the numbers are surprising ā a third of those reared Catholic in the U.S. leave the church and, according to a Pew Research Study, 10 percent of all Americans are former Catholics. The losses have been partially offset by the disproportionately high number of immigrants who are Catholic.
Gramick, in a lengthy phone interview this week from her home in Mt. Ranier, Md., says the Roman Catholic āinstitution is unraveling.ā Gramick, who declines to give her sexual orientation, was present at the first meeting to form Dignity/Washington in the cafeteria of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception with five others in 1971. She later formed New Ways Ministry, which she calls āa peace and justice center focused solely on the issue of lesbian and gay rights.ā
Of the Churchās continual anti-gay teaching, she says itās ācausing a lot of dissonance and alienation among the Catholic community and a lot of Catholics out there in the pews, theyāre no longer in the pews. Mass attendance has decreased dramatically in the last 20-30 years and actually what I think weāre seeing is the beginning of the dissolution of the institutional church. The institution is unraveling but the faith of the people is continuing and growing.ā
Is it conceivable to imagine a post-Vatican world in another generation or two?
āIf youāre talking erasure, I donāt think Iād go that far, but itās unraveling certainly ā¦ itās getting increasingly frayed and not only at the edges. Itās really closer to the center and itās coming apart at the seams.ā
Dignity Catholics donāt want that. At the most basic level, they believe the Vatican is simply wrong on the traditional view of Christian teaching and homosexuality, though opinions vary as to the reasons.
āWe say basically go back and look at the theological arguments presented and theyāre false,ā Bower says. āWeāre not picking and choosing which teachings to abide by. This is what you get when you look at the gospels. There really are no statements about LGBT people the way we think of it today. The type of homosexuality they were referring to was basically idol worship and temple prostitution.ā
Having worked on these issues for decades, Gramick says the Vaticanās gay and lesbian theology is ānot really based on the Bible.ā
āItās really more based on philosophy and natural law that uses scriptural quotes as backup,ā she says. āIt doesnāt really use scripture as the basis for its objection. They say homosexuality is unnatural without any acknowledgement that nature changes. What you see with the Vatican is an unwillingness to acknowledge change. If you have a 13thĀ century mind, you would understand their position but with a 21stĀ century mind and the science weāve discovered, the human person is not what the Vatican thinks a person is. ā¦ Psychology has come so far since then. They didnāt know anything about Freud. When they come out with these views of it being a disorder, this is just not an enlightened view of psychology.ā
Gramickās iconoclastic work has not gone unnoticed ā she says in the last 11 years, her religious community has received nine letters from the Vatican advising her superiors to have her dismissed from the Sisters of Loretto. The three presidents in that time have backed her, though the Church does play hardball ā last month Rev. Roy Bourgeois was ācanonically dismissedā for ordaining a woman at a Unitarian church in Kentucky in 2008.
Duddy-Burke says the decades of Vatican opposition have brought both a change of approach from DignityUSA and unexpected advantages.
āI think weāve actually moved from trying to get acceptance from the Vatican to really leading the rest of the Church into being a more just Church,ā she says. āI think we sort of feel like our job now is to hold our leadership accountable for the damage theyāve done and at the same time model a better way of living out the Gospel.ā
She says slowly this approach has ācaused people to see that the Church not only belongs to the Bishop and the Vatican. All of us who are baptized Catholics own the Church as well as the rites that are part of it. ā¦ If people ever caught on it would be like, āWow, youāre governing it, youāre saying who preaches and presides, you decide if you want to use the new Roman Missel or not.ā Because weāve been so excluded, weāve had this opportunity to create the Church that we deserve and itās an opportunity that a lot of Catholics havenāt had.ā
Despite the Vaticanās refusal to bend, thereās growing evidence, both anecdotally and in serious research, that its official teachings are out of step with the majority of its laity ā a summer poll conducted by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life found that 58 percent of Catholics favor same-sex marriage with 33 percent opposed. On matters as far-ranging as whether an unexcused absence from weekly Mass warrants a mortal sin to use of contraception, U.S. Catholics and many of their counterparts in other countries have long been a body of believers who havenāt felt they had to adhere to all church doctrine to stay in the church. Many parishes and clergy ā even some who perform Dignity Masses ā are quietly gay welcoming. They keep it low key to avoid interference from church leaders, but can sometimes be more welcoming than many would realize. So much so, in some cases, that itās eaten into Dignityās roster.
Thatās partially why Dignity members say they donāt want to leave the church.
āThe church really is the people of God,ā Miailovich says. āItās a horizontal assembly, not some vertical thing where you have the Pope at the top and an triangle going down with everyone else. Out there in the pews, thereās a great deal of support for a more progressive agenda, for womenās ordination, for married priests, you have the nuns on the bus for social justice. Everybody in the church does not believe 100 percent of everything that may be promulgated from on high.ā
He also says thereās an āattitude that itās my church and you canāt take it away from me.ā
āI canāt leave what is mine and that leaves you with a sense that some day, somehow, change will be made. Youāre right, there are people whoāve said, āWhy spend a lifetime working with these people, letās go start our own thing and not worry about whatās left behind.ā But Iām not going to change. This is who I am. This is how I pray and how I worship and here I am. We pray for our church leaders because we feel they need enlightenment.ā
Bower agrees.
āWeāve found a peace and reconciliation within ourselves,ā he says. āItās more like a āWe think weāre right and weāre here if you ever want to talkā-kind of thing. Thereās less time today spent trying to articulate and debate all these issues because thereās really nobody to talk to on the other side.ā
Despite, the ongoing dissent, Gramick says the occasion is a celebration.
āTheyāve had a marvelous ministry here for 40 years ministering to local LGBT Catholics,ā she says. āItās really a time to rejoice.ā
The Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington performed “The Holiday Show” at Lincoln Theatre on Saturday. Future performances of the show are scheduled for Dec. 14-15. For tickets and showtimes, visit gmcw.org.
(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)
Books
Mother wages fight for trans daughter in new book
āBeautiful Womanā seethes with resentment, rattles bars of injustice
āOne Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Womanā
By Abi Maxwell
c.2024, Knopf
$28/307 pages
“How many times have I told you that…?”
How many times have you heard that? Probably so often that, well, you stopped listening. From your mother, when you were very small. From your teachers in school. From your supervisor, significant other, or best friend. As in the new memoir “One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman” by Abi Maxwell, it came from a daughter.
When she was pregnant, Abi Maxwell took long walks in the New Hampshire woods near her home, rubbing her belly and talking to her unborn baby. She was sure she was going to have a girl but when the sonogram technician said otherwise, that was OK. Maxwell and her husband would have a son.
But almost from birth, their child was angry, fierce, and unhappy. Just getting dressed each morning was a trial. Going outside was often impossible. Autism was a possible diagnosis but more importantly, Maxwell wasn’t listening, and she admits it with some shame.
Her child had been saying, in so many ways, that she was a girl.
Once Maxwell realized it and acted accordingly, her daughter changed almost overnight, from an angry child to a calm one ā though she still, understandably, had outbursts from the bullying behavior of her peers and some adults at school. Nearly every day, Greta (her new name) said she was teased, called by her former name, and told that she was a boy.
Maxwell had fought for special education for Greta, once autism was confirmed. Now she fought for Greta’s rights at school, and sometimes within her own family. The ACLU got involved. State laws were broken. Maxwell reminded anyone who’d listen that the suicide rate for trans kids was frighteningly high. Few in her town seemed to care.
Throughout her life, Maxwell had been in many other states and lived in other cities. New Hampshire used to feel as comforting as a warm blanket but suddenly, she knew they had to get away from it. Her “town that would not protect us.”
When you hold “One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman,” you’ve got more than a memoir in your hands. You’ve also got a white-hot story that seethes with anger and rightful resentment, that wails for a hurt child, and rattles the bars of injustice. And yet, it coos over love of place, but in a confused manner, as if these things don’t belong together.
Author Abi Maxwell is honest with readers, taking full responsibility for not listening to what her preschooler was saying-not-saying, and she lets you see her emotions and her worst points. In the midst of her community-wide fight, she reveals how the discrimination Greta endured affected Maxwell’s marriage and her health ā all of which give a reader the sense that they’re not being sold a tall tale. Read this book, and outrage becomes familiar enough that it’s yours, too. Read “One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman,” and share it. This is a book you’ll tell others about.
The Blade may receive commissions from qualifying purchases made via this post.
Out & About
Come unleash your inner artist at the DC Center
Watercolor painting class held on Thursday
āWatercolor Painting with Center Agingā will be on Thursday, Dec. 12 at 12 p.m. at the DC Center for the LGBT Community.
In this winter-themed painting class for seniors led by local artist Laya Monarez, guests will learn about watercoloring techniques, be given a demonstration, and allowed to create their own watercolor pieces. There will also be a break for lunch and plenty of snacks throughout. For more details, visit the DC Centerās website.
-
Rehoboth Beach20 hours ago
Rehoboth Beachās iconic Purple Parrot is sold
-
Congress4 days ago
Protests against anti-trans bathroom policy lead to more than a dozen arrests
-
Opinions5 days ago
Will RFK Jr.ās ideas cause illness and death?
-
Opinions21 hours ago
Navigating the holidays while estranged from ultra-religious, abusive parents