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Obituary

Gay sports activist Phil Sheats dies

Promoted LGBT soccer events in the U.S., abroad

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Phil Sheats, obituary, gay news, Washington Blade
Phil Sheats, obituary, gay news, Washington Blade

Phil Sheats

Philip Francis “Phil” Sheats Jr., a marketing manager for technology companies in the D.C. and Boston areas since the 1990s and a soccer player who participated in and promoted amateur and LGBT soccer events in the U.S. and abroad, died Feb. 7 at his residence in Boston. He was 43.

A spokesperson for the Boston Medical Examiner’s office said tests related to an autopsy seeking to determine the cause of death were incomplete, but a friend said authorities indicated the death appeared to be from natural causes.

An outpouring of comments on Sheats’ personal Facebook page and a separate Facebook page he created for a South Boston LGBT social group he founded called The New Southie portray him as a talented and admired friend and community organizer. Some of those who submitted comments praised him for using his marketing skills to help others, including several gay and non-gay charitable organizations.

“Whether at work or play, Phil will always be remembered for his smile,” said his longtime friend Kevin McDuffie of D.C.

Sheats was born in Washington, D.C. and raised in the Annapolis, Md., area, where he graduated from Broadneck High School in Annapolis in 1987. He attended the University of Maryland in College Park and later Northeastern University, where he graduated with a degree in marketing and a minor in psychology.

According to information about his work history posted on his LinkedIn page, Sheats began his career in marketing-related positions for computer software and technology companies in the D.C. metropolitan area, including suburban Maryland and Northern Virginia.

He later moved to Boston, where he worked for the high tech firms Legato Systems and EMC. His most recent position was that of senior manager for field marketing programs for the Cambridge, Mass., based firm Pegasystems.

McDuffie said Sheats was an “avid music aficionado” who spent some of his leisure time listening to and assembling his own mix of music, which he transferred to CDs and often gave to friends as gifts.

“CDs from Phil were cherished and collected,” McDuffie said.

But among Sheats’ passions was soccer, according to people who knew him.

“Phil was heavily involved in playing soccer at amateur events around the world, in locations such as London, Buenos Aires and Perth, Australia,” said McDuffie.

Sheats won a medal at the 1994 international Gay Games competition in New York. He later became the soccer marketing and press director for the International Gay and Lesbian Football (soccer) Association.

According to a March 2011 article in the Boston Globe, Sheats became the hub of a large social network in Boston’s gay community after founding The New Southie in 2008. “Southie” is a well-known term in Boston referring to a resident of the working-class, predominantly Irish Catholic neighborhood of South Boston, which in the past hasn’t been known as being friendly to the LGBT community.

Sheats told the Globe he initially created The New Southie as a Facebook group to help him meet other gays in South Boston at the time he moved there. He said he later decided to bring the group “off the Internet and into the real world” by organizing events at neighborhood bars, the Globe reported.

McDuffie said the group quickly mushroomed into a popular venue that brought hundreds of people to South Boston bars and restaurants on nights where business was normally slow. He said Sheats charged an admission fee for some of the events, and used the proceeds to make donations to charitable groups such as the Trevor Project, an LGBT group that works to prevent suicide among LGBT youth.

“The membership eventually grew to over 1,000,” McDuffie said of The New Southie.

Sheats has been credited with playing a key role in breaking down barriers between gays and straights in South Boston through his event organizing.

He was known for his “engaging personality” and sometimes for his “lighthearted trouble-making mischievousness,” McDuffie said. “The side most people know and love about him was his great comedic timing, a master creator of nicknames for his family and friends – always loved but not always flattering. Having a nickname from Phil meant you had made it in his heart and life.”

He is survived by his mother, Mary Sheats of Arnold, Md.; his father, Phil Sheats and stepmother Marianne Sheats of Newport Beach, Calif.; his brother William Sheats of Arnold, Md.; and three sisters, Christine Zoellner of Annapolis, Carole Sheats of West Virginia, and Kathleen Sheats of Arnold; three nephews and many friends.

Friends are invited to a funeral mass scheduled for 9 a.m. Monday, Feb. 18, at St. Andrew by the Bay Catholic Church in Annapolis. A burial is scheduled following the mass at 10:30 a.m. at Lakemont Memorial Gardens cemetery in Davidsonville, Md. A Celebration of Life is scheduled after the burial from 11:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. at Yellowfins Restaurant at 2840 Solomon’s Island Rd. in Edgewater, Md.

Memorial contributions can be made to the Trevor Project at thetrevorproject.org/MemorialandTribute.

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Obituary

Rev. Peter Leland DeGroote dies at 86

Trailblazing gay United Methodist pastor once worked at Blade

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Rev. Peter Leland DeGroote

(The following statement was prepared by friends of Rev. Peter Leland DeGroote.)

Peter Leland DeGroote, a trailblazing gay United Methodist pastor, was born on January 19, 1940, to Leland Peter and Lea (Sitnik) DeGroote in Rochester, New York. The family moved to Syracuse during Peter’s early years. Peter had an older stepbrother, Robert, and brother, Joseph, and was followed by three sisters—Mary, Martha and Margaret. Lea, their mother, had been Roman Catholic but was ostracized from her parish after marrying a Protestant. So she took the children to Lafayette Street Methodist Church every Sunday for worship and Christian education.

Peter attended West Virginia Wesleyan University, graduating with a bachelor’s degree in psychology in 1961. While he considered a career in pastoral ministry—his brother Joseph was a long-time United Methodist clergy—Peter thought that his same-sex orientation would hinder his career in the church. He enlisted in the U.S. Army in October 1961 and served a three-year term, spending one year in Heidelberg, Germany. This provided the opportunity to explore Europe. In August 1964, he was granted early release and honorable discharge to go to school.

He began graduate studies in public administration at American University in Washington, D.C. Peter met Tom McKain in January 1967 and they began a five-year relationship and remained best friends thereafter. One of Peter’s professors was an executive with the International City Management Association (ICMA) who recognized Peter’s talents and arranged for him to help with some projects there. During summers Peter directed camping programs at the YMCA’s Camp Letts in Edgewater, Md. While he worked on a Ph.D. and did some teaching at American University, he did not complete his dissertation and so received an M.A. degree in 1971.

In 1972, Peter was hired to initiate the ICMA Retirement Corporation (now MissionSquare Retirement) in order to develop a portable retirement plan for local government administrators. During his 16 years directing the ICMA-RC, the plan grew to over $1 billion in assets and over 100,000 participants. At his retirement in 1988, Peter was heralded as having “done a remarkable job in helping create one of the most outstanding retirement corporations in the country and is probably the most knowledgeable person in this field.” 

In the 1970s Peter volunteered with the production of a gay newspaper in Washington, D.C., serving as news editor of the Washington Blade for three months in 1975. Peter met Leslie Lugo in Fort Lauderdale in 1977. Leslie moved to D.C. the next year and they were in a seven- year relationship and remained good friends in the years following.

In 1984, Peter joined Foundry U.M. Church, where his college friend Rev. Don Stewart was on the staff. Stewart told Peter about a local group of LGBT United Methodists. Peter began attending weekly worship and social gatherings with Mid-Atlantic Affirmation and became deeply involved in providing leadership and hospitality for the group.

Peter proposed that Foundry sponsor an Affirmation Bible Study group as part of its neighborhood Bible study program. He asked Ralph Williams to host the group and Peter led it at the onset. The Bible study group met for several years and played a significant role in the process of Foundry becoming a Reconciling Congregation in 1995, a public affirmation that LGBTQ persons were full participants in the life of the church.

In November 1988, Peter made a radical life change as he retired from ICMA-RC and began an international romantic adventure, moving to Caracas, Venezuela. However, in a tragic turn of events, Peter was abducted and later found abandoned in a rural area, badly injured. Peter recounted that, as he lay suffering and awaiting rescue, he prayed that if he recovered he would commit to entering the ministry. After returning to Washington, D.C., and spending time in healing and recovery, Peter enrolled at Wesley Theological Seminary, graduating with honors and an M.Div. degree in 1994.

Peter resolved to challenge the United Methodist Church’s ban on the ordination of LGBTQ clergy. He began the ordination candidacy process at Foundry, stating publicly that he was gay and willing to be celibate. He steadily moved forward through the process and was eventually approved by the Baltimore-Washington Conference in a close vote. He was ordained deacon on June 13, 1993, and elder on June 16, 1996.

Peter served in active ministry for 16 years serving these congregations: Shady Side (1993-1996); Centenary Baltimore (1996-1998); Back River Essex (1998-2003); College Park (2003-2004); Foundry as associate (2004-2006) and The United Church (2006-2009). Peter retired from ministry in 2009. One of Peter’s noteworthy achievements during these years was the formation of BWARM (Baltimore-Washington Area Reconciling United Methodists). When Bishop John Schol arrived in Baltimore-Washington in 2004, he announced his intention to meet with various ethnic and gender groups in the conference. Peter challenged the bishop to also meet with LGBTQ members. The bishop asked Peter to arrange such a meeting. Peter invited a cross-section of LGBTQ persons and allies from around the conference to converse with the bishop. As a result of that meeting, this network of persons began to organize what has become a strong, influential BWARM group.

In retirement, Peter continued annual summer excursions to Rehoboth Beach with friends, involvement at Foundry U.M. Church and enjoying reading and writing. On May 13, 2025, the Baltimore-Washington Chapter of the Methodist Federation for Social Action honored Peter with its God’s Foolish One Award. After a period of declining health, he died on May 9, 2026.

He is survived by his sister, Martha Straub; her son, James Oliver, and his husband; long-time companion Luis Herrera; caregivers Michael Thompson and Ralph Williams and numerous dear friends. A memorial service, followed by a luncheon, will be held at 10 a.m. on Saturday, June 27, 2026, at Foundry U.M. Church, 1500 16th St., N.W., Washington, D.C.

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Obituary

Thomas A. Decker of Arlington dies at 73

Active in visiting AIDS patients, urging Congress to fight HIV

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Thomas A. Decker Jr.

Thomas A. Decker Jr, of Arlington, Va., died March 3, 2026 following an extended illness, according to a statement released by his family. He was 73.

Born and raised in Canton, Ohio, Decker attended the University of Akron and earned his bachelor’s degree in political science. He then moved to the Washington, D.C. area and accepted a position with Beaver Press where he worked for 32 years, according to the statement. 

He later worked in the Inova Juniper Program working with HIV/AIDS clients to assist them with support services and was active as a volunteer visiting AIDS patients in the hospital or advocating on Capitol Hill for HIV funding.

Tommy, as he was called by family, is survived by three sisters, a sister-in-law and two brothers-in-law: Carol Decker and Kathryn Kramer of West Newbury, MA, Margaret and Thomas Williams of Bluffton, SC, Mary Sue and Timothy Desiato of New Philadelphia, Ohio, Niece’s Trina and Chad Wedekind of Jacksonville Fl and great niece Isabella, Lindsay and Will Burgette of Dublin, Ohio and great nephews Colin and Luke and Nephews David Williams of Jacksonville, Florida, and Michael and Lucy Desiato of Dublin, Ohio and great nieces Lena and Stella. In accordance with Tom’s wishes, he will be buried at Calvary Cemetery in Massillon, Ohio.

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District of Columbia

Acclaimed bisexual activist, author Loraine Hutchins dies at 77

Lifelong D.C.-area resident was LGBTQ rights advocate, sex educator

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Loraine Hutchins (Photo courtesy of Hutchins)

Loraine Adele Hutchins, a nationally known and acclaimed advocate for bisexual and LGBTQ rights, co-author and editor of a groundbreaking book on bisexuality, and who taught courses in sexuality, and women’s and LGBTQ studies at a community college in Maryland, died Nov. 19 from complications related to cancer. She was 77.

Hutchins, who told the Washington Blade in a 2023 interview that she self-identified as a bisexual woman, is credited with playing a lead role in advocating for the rights of bisexual people on a local, state, and national level as well as with LGBTQ organizations, many of which bi activists have said were ignoring the needs of the bi community up until recent years.

“Throughout her life, Loraine dedicated herself to working and speaking for those who might not be otherwise heard,” her sister, Rebecca Hutchins, said in a family write-up on Loraine Hutchins’s life and career.

Born in Washington, D.C., and raised in Takoma Park, Md., Rebecca Hutchins said her sister embraced their parents’ involvement in the U.S. civil rights movement.

“She was a child of the ‘60s and proudly recalls attending Martin Luther King’s ‘I Have a Dream’ speech with her mother on the D.C. Mall,” she says in her write-up.  “She was steeped in the civil rights movement, was a member of the Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee, and was proud to say she had an FBI record.”

The write-up says Hutchins received a bachelor’s degree from Shimer College in Mount Carroll, Ill. in 1970, and a Ph.D. in 2001 from Union Institute. It says she was also a graduate of the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality’s Sexological Bodyworkers certification training program.

The family write-up says in the 1970s Hutchins became involved with efforts to assist tenants, including immigrant tenants, in affordable housing programs in D.C.’s Adams Morgan neighborhood. 

“In 1991, she co-authored the groundbreaking book, ‘Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People SPEAK OUT’ with friend and colleague Lani Ka’ahumanu,” the write-up says. It notes that the acclaimed book has been republished three times and in 2007 it was published in Taiwan in Mandarin.

According to the write-up, Hutchins delivered the keynote address in June 2006 at the Ninth International Conference on Bisexuality, Gender and Sexual Diversity. In October 2009, D.C.’s Rainbow History Project honored her as one of its Community Pioneers for her activist work.

“Loraine is one of the few people who has explained, defended and championed bisexuality and made sure the “B” got into the LGBT acronym,” the Rainbow History Project says on its website in a 2009 statement. “Sensitivity to bisexual issues, civil rights, and social justice issues is Loraine’s life work,” the statement concludes.

The write-up by her sister says that up until the time of her retirement, Hutchins taught women’s and LGBT studies as well as health issues in sexuality at Montgomery Community College and Towson University in Maryland.

“She was a friend and mentor to many in the LGBTQ community,” it says. “She thoroughly enjoyed adversarial banter on the many topics she held dear: sexuality, freedom of speech, civil rights, needs and support of those with disabilities, especially in the area of mobility, assisted housing, liberal politics and many other causes,” it points out.

She retired to the Friends House community in Sandy Springs, Md., where she continued her activism, the write-up concludes. 

Hutchins was among several prominent bisexual activists interviewed by the Washington Blade at the time of her retirement in June 2023 for a story on the status of the bisexual rights movement. She noted that, among other things, in her role as co-founder the organizations BiNet USA and the Alliance of Multicultural Bisexuals, she joined her bi colleagues in prodding national LGBTQ advocacy organizations to improve their advocacy work for bisexuals, which Hutchins said had been inadequate in the past but had been improving in recent years.

Hutchins is survived by her sister, Rebecca Hutchins; her husband, Dave Lohman; nephew, Corey Lohman and his wife Teah Duvall Lohman; and cousins, the family write-up says.  

It says a private memorial service was scheduled for December and a public memorial service recognizing her contributions to the LGBTQ community will be held in the spring of 2026.

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