Living

A new kind of family

Lesbian parenting drama a hit on ABC Family

Published

13 years ago

July 19, 2013

The cast of ‘The Fosters,’ a new ABC Family show that asks ‘What defines a family.’ (Photo by Andrew Eccles, courtesy ABC Family)

When television producers Peter Paige and Brad Bredeweg were contemplating the next show they would create together, one phrase popped into their conversation: “How do you define family?”

Paige, best known for his role as Emmett Honeycutt on Showtime’s hit series “Queer as Folk,” teamed with Bredeweg on the reality show “Fly Girls” and the partnership was now looking to create a family drama.

“We looked around at the TV landscape and thought, ‘There aren’t too many family dramas on right now,’ and it was something we both always loved as TV viewers and wanted to fill that vacuum,” Paige says. “We wanted to do it in the non-traditional family space, because we are seeing more of that around us.”

Two dads had been done before, but the idea of a lesbian couple raising a family was something that hadn’t been explored on television in a family drama. The fact that both men are gay made it a subject that interested them, and they outlined a plan for “The Fosters” (Mondays at 9 p.m. on ABC Family).

“Getting any show on the air is a long, kind of circuitous, strange, wandering path through the wilderness,” Bredeweg says. “Once we had the idea, a friend of ours was working for Jennifer Lopez and we brought the project to her and she got right on board and has been a champion of it ever since.”

Because of the type of programming that ABC Family was known for, it made the shortlist of the channels that both men thought would be best for their show. After all, the cable channel’s tagline is, “A New Kind of Family”; a match couldn’t have been more perfect.

Once ABC Family committed to the project, the two creators went about answering the question, “How do two women create a family?” and they decided to jam in as many ways as possible. Thus, “The Fosters” follows lovebirds Lena Adams and Stef Foster, an interracial lesbian couple who are married and living in the Mission Bay area of San Diego, raising Stef’s biological son along with adopted twins Jesus and Marianna. Another kid joins the bunch when Lena, a charter school vice principal, decides to take in troubled teen Callie.

“Having been an actor on ‘Queer as Folk’ for so long, I learned that everyone has an opinion. The best stuff comes out of listening to your inner voice and following that,” Paige says. “We have the added pressure of being one of the first-of-its-kind shows and you have to understand viewers will have a lot invested. They want to see themselves reflected so there’s a real importance in how our moms are being portrayed.”

The “moms,” as he calls the characters of Lena and Stef, are played by Teri Polo and Sherri Saum respectively.

“They are both extraordinary. A beautiful yin and yang. Teri is very much like Steph, loud with no edit button. Sherri is very shy until you get to know her well. They are a lot like our partnership,” Bredeweg says. “Teri and Peter are very likely to put their foot in their mouth at any given moment. Sherri and I on the other hand are much more likely to play their cards close to the vest and destroy you with some wit or insight.”

The show is obviously resonating with a lot of people, as “The Fosters” has been one of ABC Family’s highest rated new shows, registering 1.8 million viewers in its first week and improving on those numbers for episode two and three.

“Timing is everything in this business and we felt that with everything going on in the world, we just felt the timing was right,” Bredeweg says. “We are very excited. Based on the feedback we are getting, people like what they are seeing and we are grateful for that.”

The lesbian community has come out in full force and both men have heard a great deal about the positives of representing their voice. Still, as with any show, not everyone is happy about everything.

“One of the things I am hearing is that people are wondering why they haven’t gotten too physical yet, but take a breath, it’s coming,” Paige says. “Viewers need to remember that it’s a long ride and hopefully we will have 100 episodes to explore every facet of their lives and that will certainly include sex and sexuality.”

In fact, a recent Tweet by Saum shows the two characters in bed together with the caption, “Last day on the set, making the most of it” underneath.

Paige and Bredeweg say “The Fosters” isn’t a show for just the LGBT community, but a show for everyone.

“It’s a show about family. It’s no difference whether they are lesbians or gay or straight, it’s all about the love of a family and how they respond to each other,” Paige says. “We are so grateful and excited and hoping to make the lesbian community particularly proud.”

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Introducing Next-Generation Assisted Living & Memory Support.

Now Available in Tysons: Kokua at The Mather

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Autos

A magical Mercedes

S-Class continues to define what luxury really means

Published

5 days ago

May 23, 2026

Joe Phillips

Mercedes S-Class

At my stage of life — “somewhere between 40 and death,” as the iconic line goes in the musical “Mame” — I want some pampering. A lot of pampering.

Luckily, for anyone who constantly craves a soothing spa, steam room or sauna, there’s the completely updated Mercedes S-Class. This flagship sedan is now so full of glitz, glamour, and gee-whiz gadgetry, it gives new meaning to the term “auto erotica.”

Does this make the S-Class a “gay” ride? For me, any vehicle that pushes my buttons like this one is a Kinsey 6.

MERCEDES S-CLASS

$122,000 (est.)

MPG: 21 city/31 highway

0 to 60 mph: 4.3 seconds

Trunk space: 19 cu. ft.

PROS: Exceptional comfort. Ultra-quiet cabin. Cutting-edge safety.

CONS: Price climbs fast. Tech learning curve. Sportier competitors.

The S-Class continues to define what luxury really means, with a bolder silhouette, larger grille, and striking, next-gen LED headlights. There’s also an optional illuminated Mercedes star on the hood. Overall, nearly 2,700 parts are new or improved, so more than 50 percent of this vehicle has been updated. An extreme makeover, to be sure.

At the same time, this latest S-Class leans harder into intelligence and electrification than ever before. Under the hood, a range of turbocharged inline-six and V8 engines — paired with mild-hybrid systems — deliver power in a way that seems almost edited for smoothness. Braking is solid and strong, too, but never abrupt. All the engineering is fine-tuned and intentional.

Yes, the top-of-the line S580 version is more expensive, almost $140,000. But it’s also blisteringly fast, zipping from 0 to 60 mph in just 3.9 seconds. That’s as lickety-split swift as a Lamborghini Revuelto supercar, which has a starting MSRP of $610,000 and can easily exceed — yowza! — $800,000.

Colors? There are 150 to choose from for the exterior and 400 for the interior. You can even customize the illuminated door sills, interior stitching and wheel accents.

And the ride quality? Sublime. Adaptive air suspension reads the road constantly, leveling out imperfections before they even register. Rear-axle steering enhances maneuverability, making this full-sized sedan feel surprisingly nimble in tight spaces. On the highway, the S-Class simply glides like a private yacht on the calmest of seas — extremely quiet, composed and completely unbothered.

Whenever you slide inside, the cabin immediately sets the tone. A massive OLED digital display — the same high-def technology used for cinematic viewing and gaming monitors — anchors the dashboard, running the latest MBUX infotainment interface. Highly customizable, this software allows for advanced voice commands that feel natural, not forced. And an augmented-reality navigation system takes your route and overlays it onto live camera feeds. It’s intuitive — mostly, as there is a learning curve for all this cutting-edge gear. Overall, though, such amenities make older setups feel like dial-up internet.

A Burmester surround-sound stereo is available in 3D or 4D, with up to 31 speakers, 1,690 watts and tactile transducers in the seats that vibrate and pulse with the music. Those seats are, of course, extremely comfortable. And the seatbelts? These are now heated.

Let’s not forget the latest cabin air-filtration system, which can remove ultra-fine particles to deliver air quality that rivals medical environments. Clean air, yes, but even this seems like a special treat. It’s like being swaddled in couture, not ready-to-wear.

And lastly, there’s the rear-seat area, which — to be honest — is where the S-Class really shines. Executive packages offer multi-contour reclining seats with rapid heating and ventilating, heated armrests and massage functions. You can opt for a footrest, which ups the glam factor to give you a calf massage. Dual 13.1-inch display screens come with their own remote controls. There’s also a video-conferencing feature, to help transform the rear cabin into a fully connected mobile office. For me, it feels less “back seat” and more “private lounge.”

Even in fiction, high-tech luxury carries weight. Tony Stark helped cement the idea that state-of-the art vehicles can be aspirational, not just practical. The magical S-Class fits right into that narrative — minus the flying suit (for now).

Advice

I’m a 64-year-old single gay man and I hate my life

How can I turn things around before it’s too late?

Published

6 days ago

May 22, 2026

Michael Radkowsky

I’m officially old, maybe even nearing the finish line and I’m getting bitter.

Dear Michael,

I’m a 64-year-old single gay man and I hate my life.

I’ve never had a relationship that lasted more than a few months. I can’t say why. I don’t think I’m defective. I wasn’t unattractive when I was younger (still not bad looking), I think I’m an interesting person to spend time with, but everything always seemed to fizzle out.

Thankfully, I missed AIDS because I came out after people knew what to do. Sometimes I wonder if fear of contracting the virus metastasized into a fear of getting close. I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve consciously kept people away. Consciously I have wanted someone to share my life with, very much.

With my 65th birthday and official senior citizen status approaching, I’ve been taking stock of my life and am coming to the hard realization that I’m never going to find that elusive partner.

I don’t go out anymore because people look right through me, except the ones who have a fetish for older guys. No one’s actually interested in me as me, a unique person rather than what they see on the surface.

I’m tired of my coupled friends. They’re always talking about “we.” Yes, I have become resentful that they have what I want and will never get. I know that’s not admirable but it’s how I feel, secretly, and I am sick of feeling like this when I am around them. So why be around them?

And I’m tired of my friends who are focused on sex all the time. It just all feels like a waste of time. I don’t get anything from a hookup anymore, they’ve been feeling increasingly meaningless. I feel like I’m someone’s momentary opportunity to get off, rather than any kind of real connection.

I’m just sick of the whole chase I’ve been doing for the last 40+ years.

I’m realizing that the whole thing has been pointless, a quest for a partner who is never going to materialize and a lot of diversions along the way that have added up to a despairing feeling that I’ve wasted my life trying to get something that will never happen.

Gay life hasn’t been so gay for me. And I’m officially old, maybe even nearing the finish line. Yes, if you haven’t noticed, I’m getting bitter.

What do I do with this dead end?

Michael replies:

How about looking for a different road to go down?

I’m not going to challenge your belief that you aren’t going to find a partner. I think it’s possible that you could, because there are other guys out there, in your age range, who are looking. But you have no guarantee, especially if you have decided to take it off the table.

So what else can you do with your life? How can you make your remaining time on this earth well-lived?

From your letter, it’s clear what you don’t want to do: Look for a boyfriend, hook up, or spend time with your current friends. Surely there must be more possibilities for your life than those options.

So my advice is to figure out some things you care about and start doing them. Travel? Volunteering? Getting a companion animal? Taking classes? Finding a new career? Those are just a few of the ideas I can come up with, but I don’t know you. What ideas can you generate, that you suspect you’d like to pursue?

In other words, start putting one foot in front of the other and go in some new directions that intrigue you enough to explore.

Sitting around feeling miserable does not help you to get anywhere. It keeps you feeling miserable. Sitting around waiting to feel better does not lead you to feel better. What would help you get to a better place would be to start taking action on your own behalf. Always keep in mind that while you are alive, with your faculties intact, you do have the choice to take this step, over and over and over again.

If you give yourself something (or some things) worthwhile to put your focus on, and do your best to shift your focus there whenever you notice that you are lamenting, I’m hopeful you will create a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

I’m also hopeful that if you are spending time doing things that you actually enjoy and that enrich your life, you may find more satisfying companionship than you are experiencing with your current friend group. (And yes, this could include a romantic relationship if you decide to be open to this possibility.)

A brief reply in an advice column can point you in the right direction, but it is likely not enough to sustain and motivate you through a major life overhaul.

Therefore, I suggest that you find a therapist to help you figure out how to move forward and what to move toward; and also to grieve, and put to rest as best you can, the loss of the life you hoped you would have.

I know that transcending the loss of a huge lifelong dream may seem impossible. But working toward this, as best you are able, would help you.

Relatedly, one more thing that I hope you can address with a therapist is your bitterness. I do understand why you feel so bitter, and I also think that it is torquing your life in a downhill direction.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C., Maryland, Virginia, and New York. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].