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Mary Gauthier on songwriting, book writing and her weekend D.C. show

Grammy-nominated singer says one’s sexual orientation should be incidental

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Mary Gauthier interview, gay news, Washington Blade
Mary Gauthier says honesty is the most important ingredient in songwriting. (Photo by Laura Partain; courtesy All Eyes Media)

Mary Gauthier with Jamiee Harris
City Winery
1350 Okie St., N.E.
Sunday, March 24 
7:30 p.m. 
$22

Mary Gauthier is an expert on penning pain to paper but it took her longer to embark on her songwriting dreams than most musicians. 

Gauthier was adopted by her parents, who lived in Louisiana, when she was one year old. She struggled with being adopted and in her younger years used alcohol and drugs to cope. In 1990, Gauthier opened Dixie Kitchen, a Cajun restaurant in Boston. On opening night she was arrested for drunk driving which marked the beginning of her long-term sobriety. After getting clean, she used her past issues with adoption trauma and alcohol and drug addiction to fuel her songwriting. Gauthier is now an accomplished singer/songwriter with 10 albums under her belt and a memoir/songwriting book on the way. 

The singer, whose last album was nominated for a Grammy, spoke with the Washington Blade from Nashville on March 11, her 57th birthday, which she admits “is not a big day for me.” She gave some songwriting 101 tips, teased her upcoming book and gave her thoughts on celebrities’ coming-out announcements. 

WASHINGTON BLADE: You got into songwriting much later on in life which isn’t typical for most artists. What drove you to write your first song?

MARY GAUTHIER: I got sober in 1990. After I got sober, I looked up and saw myself parked right next to the Berklee College of Music. I owned a restaurant next door. My employees were all musicians and songwriters. I really got swept up into it. I had a lot of time on my hands after I got clean. I just got carried away with it and it became the thing I wanted to do more than anything. After awhile, I really started taking songwriting seriously and that remains true. 

BLADE: Do you have a particular method to your songwriting? Do you do music or lyrics first?

GAUTHIER: It depends. I’m writing a book. It’s so interesting in the middle of a process you don’t know what you’re doing. Years go by and you can reflect on the process and see, “Oh that was a pivotal moment.” But when you’re standing in the middle of a pivotal moment you don’t know it’s a pivotal moment. So in retrospect I can see that I developed a process over time that works for me but it wasn’t something that I did consciously. I developed a relationship with the truth that has served me well in my songs. I’m not quite sure how I did that. But that’s what I do. I tend to migrate towards the emotional truth and solve that in my writing so that the songs resonate with listeners in a way that is hopefully meaningful to them. 

BLADE: You’re writing a book about songwriting? 

GAUTHIER: Yeah, it’s a combination memoir/book on my songwriting process. 

BLADE: When will that be released?

GAUTHIER: We’re looking at 2020. 

BLADE: What’s the best piece of songwriting advice you have for someone just starting out?

GAUTHIER: Tell the truth. 

BLADE: That’s definitely what you do in your songs. You’re very open about your struggles with adoption trauma and alcohol and drugs. I’m sure writing about it is cathartic but do you find some songs are too much to perform consistently?

GAUTHIER: Yeah, some songs I don’t bring out to an audience. Some songs I bring out a couple of times and some songs I only bring out once. I think there’s a fine line between enough and too much. That actually can change over time. I think that the challenge for me is to get myself in a place where I’m looking at a song to understand what the song wants to be and try to deliver it. Then I’ll make those decisions after the song is written as to whether this one is for me or for the public or for a record. A lot of the songs from “The Foundling,” where I worked through quite a bit of adoption trauma, I don’t play them anymore because I don’t want to relive that. I needed to write it and it was important to capture it. But I don’t need to constantly talk about it. I’m past it in many ways. So the best thing for me to do with those songs is leave them where they are and let them find their audience without my help. They are doing their work without me having to do much. People find it when they need it. 

BLADE: You’ve been out your whole career. Lately, a lot of actors and musicians make big, public coming out declarations to their fans. Do you think that’s something you would have done if you weren’t out? 

GAUTHIER: It’s hard to know how to come out if you’ve never been in. I don’t know. I think the more people that are open about it in life, the general public will understand that being gay is kinda like the color of your freaking hair or eyes. It’s something incidental. It’s not defining of who we are. It normalizes it if people know gay people in their real life. “Oh, you guys are just like us except you’re stumbling into the walls in same-sex relationships instead of heterosexual relationships.” So, I think having people out is a good thing. However you come out is good I think and however you want to handle it. I’ve never been one to tell people to come out if they’re not ready to come out. There was a time when people were outing people. I always thought that was something I wasn’t comfortable with. I think we have the right to make that decision ourselves and based on the circumstances of our life. 

BLADE:  You’re writing a book on songwriting and you used to own a restaurant. Any plans to write a cookbook?

GAUTHIER: Probably not. I’ve kinda moved on from food. I’m not real passionate about it anymore. The work it would take to do that is probably not time well spent for me. I’m trying real hard to write this other book and, let me tell you, I wouldn’t recommend it. It’s hard work. Writing a book is incredibly challenging. And I know for a cookbook you have to test everything over and over again and make sure you got the portions right and the timing right. You never know, but probably not. 

BLADE: Your last album “Rifles and Rosary Beads” was a collaboration with veterans telling their stories. Where did that concept come from?

GAUTHEIR:  I’ve been working with an organization that’s a non-profit that pairs veterans with songwriters and I just collected songs over a six year period and the collection of songs grew to the point where I realized this is a body of work and I decided I should put a record of these songs. I feel like the songs are significant. They tell the story of so much of what the veterans in this country are going through right now. It was wonderful for me to be out there with a record that wasn’t about me. 

BLADE: How did the songwriting work on that? 

GAUTHIER: The vets aren’t songwriters so we just listened to their songs and captured what they say and put it in a song. The veterans had the authority to say, “Hey, that’s not what I said” or “Can we change it a little different?” So they sign off on it but the songwriter does the writing. But it’s their story. It’s their life story. 

BLADE: Do you have any upcoming music projects?

GAUTHIER: I’m always on the road. I’m always working. I travel the highways and bi-ways of the world. I love my job. I’m excited to play the City Winery in Washington. I’ve never played there before. I’ve played quite a few spots in the general vicinity but I’ve never played City Winery so I’m excited to come in and try a new venue. 

BLADE: What can people expect from your show?

GAUTHIER: I’m gonna play the songs people are familiar with from my back catalogue and play some brand new songs and some songs off of “Rifles and Rosary Beads.” It’s 90 minutes of story and song.

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Music & Concerts

Musical icons and newer stars to rock D.C. this spring

Brandi Carlile, Bad Bunny, Nicki Minaj, and more headed our way

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Brandi Carlile plays the Anthem this month.

Bands and solo artists of all different genres are visiting D.C. this spring. Patti LaBelle and Gladys Knight will team up to perform at the Wolf Trap in June, and girl in red will play at the Anthem in April. Some artists and bands aren’t paying a visit until the summer, like Janet Jackson and Usher, but there are still plenty of acts to see as the weather warms up. 

MARCH 

Brandi Carlile plays at the Anthem on March 21; Arlo Parks will perform at 9:30 Club on March 23; Girlschool will take the stage at Blackcat on March 28.

APRIL 

Nicki Minaj stops in D.C. at Capital One Arena as part of her North American tour on April 1; Bad Bunny plays at Capital One Arena on April 9 as part of his Most Wanted tour; girl in red performs at the Anthem on April 20 and 21; Brandy Clark plays at the Birchmere on April 25; Laufey comes to town to play at the Anthem on April 25 and 26. 

MAY 

Belle and Sebastian play at the Anthem on May 2; Chastity Belt performs at Blackcat on May 4; Madeleine Peyroux stops at the Birchmere on May 5; The Decemberists play at the Anthem on May 10; the rock band Mannequin Pussy performs at the Atlantis on May 17 and 18; Hozier plays at Merriweather Post Pavilion on May 17 as part of the Unreal Unearth tour. 

JUNE 

Patti LaBelle and Gladys Knight will sing soulful melodies at Wolf Trap on June 8; Joe Jackson performs at the Lincoln Theatre on June 10; the Pixies and Modest Mouse are teaming up to play at Merriweather Post Pavilion on June 14; Maggie Rogers plays at Merriweather Post Pavilion on June 16 as part of The Don’t Forget Me tour; Brittany Howard headlines the Out & About Festival at Wolf Trap on June 22; Sarah McLachlan plays at Merriweather Post Pavilion on June 27; Alanis Morissette performs at Merriweather Post Pavilion on June 29 and 30

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Music & Concerts

Grammys: Queer women and their sisters took down the house

Taylor Swift won Album of the Year

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When the late, great Ruth Bader Ginsburg was asked when there will be enough women on the Supreme Court, her answer was simple: Nine. She stated: “I say when there are nine, people are shocked. But there’d been nine men, and nobody’s ever raised a question about that.” RBG did not attend the Grammy’s last night, but her spirit sure did. Women, at long last, dominated, ruled and killed the night.

Cher, in song a decade ago, declared that “this is a woman’s world,” but there was little evidence that was true, Grammy, and entertainment awards, speaking. In 2018, the Grammys were heavily criticized for lack of female representation across all categories and organizers’ response was for women to “step up.”

Be careful what you wish for boys.

The biggest star of the 2024 Grammys was the collective power of women. They made history, they claimed legacy and they danced and lip sang to each other’s work. Standing victorious was Miley Cyrus, Billie Eilish, SZA (the most nominated person of the year), Lainey Wilson, Karol G, boygenius, Kylie Minogue and Victoria Monét. Oh, yes, and powerhouse Taylor Swift, the superstar from whom Fox News cowers in fear, made history to become the first performer of any gender to win four Best Album of the Year trophies.

In the throng of these powerful women stand a number of both LGBTQ advocates and queer identifying artists. Cyrus has identified as pansexual, SZA has said lesbian rumors “ain’t wrong,” Phoebe Bridgers (winner of four trophies during the night, most of any artist) is lesbian, Monét is bi and Eilish likes women but doesn’t want to talk about it. Plus, ask any queer person about Swift or Minogue and you are likely to get a love-gush.

Women power was not just owned by the lady award winners. There were the ladies and then there were the Legends. The first Legend to appear was a surprise. Country singer Luke Combs has a cross-generational hit this year with a cover of Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car.” When originally released, the song was embraced as a lesbian anthem. When performing “Fast Car,” surprise, there was Chapman herself, singing the duet with Combs. The rendition was stunning, sentimental and historic.

Chapman, like many of the night’s female dignitaries, has not been public with her sexuality. Author Alice Walker has spoken of the two of them being lovers, however.

The legend among legends of the night, however, was the one and only Joni Mitchell. Not gay herself, she embodies the concept of an LGBTQ icon, and was accompanied by the very out Brandi Carlile on stage. On her website, Mitchell’s statement to the LGBTQ community reads, “The trick is if you listen to that music and you see me, you’re not getting anything out of it. If you listen to that music and you see yourself, it will probably make you cry and you’ll learn something about yourself and now you’re getting something out of it.”

Mitchell performed her longtime classic “Both Sides Now.” The emotion, insight and delivery from the now 80-year old artist, survivor of an aneurism, was nothing short of profound. (To fully appreciate the nuance time can bring, check out the YouTube video of a Swift lookalike Mitchell singing the same song to Mama Cass and Mary Travers in 1969.) In this latest rendition, Mitchell clearly had an impact on Meryl Streep who was sitting in the audience. Talk about the arc of female talent and power.

That arc extended from a today’s lady, Cyrus, to legend Celine Dion as well. Cyrus declared Dion as one of her icons and inspirations early in the evening. Dion appeared, graceful and looking healthy, to present the final, and historic, award of the night at the end of the show.

Legends did not even need to be living to have had an effect on the night. Tributes to Tina Turner and Sinead O’Conner by Oprah, Fantasia Barrino-Taylor and Annie Lennox respectively, proved that not even death could stop these women. As Lennox has musically and famously put it, “Sisters are doing it for themselves.”

Even the content of performances by today’s legends-in-the-making spoke to feminine power. Eilish was honored for, and performed “What Was I Made For?,” a haunting and searching song that speaks to the soul of womanhood and redefinition in today’s fight for gender rights and expression, while Dua Lipa laid down the gauntlet for mind blowing performance with her rendition of “Houdini” at the top of the show, Cyrus asserted the power of her anthem “Flowers” and pretty much stole the show.

Cyrus had not performed the song on television before, and only three times publicly. She declared in her intro that she was thrilled over the business numbers the song garnered, but she refused to let them define her. As she sang the hit, she scolded the audience, “you guys act like you don’t know the words to this song.” Soon the woman power of the room was singing along with her, from Swift to Oprah.

They can buy themselves flowers from now on. They don’t need anyone else. Cyrus made that point with the mic drop to cap all mic drops, “And I just won my first Grammy!” she declared as she danced off stage.

Even the squirmiest moment of the night still did not diminish the light of women power, and in fact, underscored it. During his acceptance of the Dr. Dre Global Impact Award, Jay-Z had a bone to pick with the Grammy voters. He called out the irony that his wife Beyoncé had won more Grammys than any other human, but had never won the Best Album of the Year. Yeah, what’s with that?

But then, it brought additional context ultimately to the fact that the winner of the most Grammys individually … is a woman. And to the fact that the winner of the most Best Album of the Year awards … is a woman.

Hopefully this was the night that the Grammys “got it.” Women are the epicenter of The Creative Force.

Will the other entertainment awards get it soon as well? We can hope.

Most importantly, in a political world where women’s healthcare is under siege. Will the American voters get it?

A little known band named Little Mix put it this way in their 2019 song “A Woman’s World.”

“If you can’t see that it’s gotta change
Only want the body but not the brains
If you really think that’s the way it works
You ain’t lived in a woman’s world

Just look at how far that we’ve got
And don’t think that we’ll ever stop…”

From Grammy’s mouth to the world’s ear.

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Music & Concerts

Janet Jackson returning to D.C, Baltimore

‘Together Again Tour’ comes to Capital One Arena, CFG Bank Arena

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Janet Jackson is coming back to D.C. this summer.

Pop icon Janet Jackson announced this week an extension of her 2023 “Together Again Tour.” A new leg of the tour will bring Jackson back to the area for two shows, one at D.C.’s Capital One Arena on Friday, July 12 and another at Baltimore’s CFG Bank Arena on Saturday, July 13.  

Tickets are on sale now via TicketMaster. LiveNation announced the 2023 leg of the tour consisted of 36 shows, each of which was sold out. The 2024 leg has 35 stops planned so far; R&B star Nelly will open for Jackson on the new leg. 

Jackson made the tour announcement Tuesday on social media: “Hey u guys! By popular demand, we’re bringing the Together Again Tour back to North America this summer with special guest Nelly! It’ll be so much fun!”

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