Arts & Entertainment
Gift Guide 2019 part 3: hot this year
Vice Wines, Budsies Selfie among hot items
Editor’s note: This is part three of four Blade holiday gift guides. Last week’s installment (home gifts) is here if you missed it. Look for“last minute” in next week’s edition. (Dec. 13).
Category is: hot this year! Gifts galore for him, her, they and them — because secular Santa doesn’t discriminate like hypocrite “Christians” do.
Less is Bore!
Life’s too short! Why settle for traditional ornaments? Celebrity collection: from the queen, politicians to fashion icons. From $19.95. Available at nakeddecor.com or at Naked Decor Pop Up store at Downtown Holiday Market in Washington.
The Vice Wines
If any of your vices include a 2017 Mount Veeder Merlot, 2017 Spring Mountain District Cabernet Sauvignon, or 2018 Carneros Pinot Noir, stock up and save with these aptly named vinos handcrafted to make you feel naughty and nice. $28-695, thevicewine.com.
Budsies Selfie and Petsies Dolls
Lookalike dolls made to order from submitted photographs of your human and pet pals are stuffed with so much holiday cheer that this thoughtful treasure will be cherished for years to come. Ideal for drag queens that have everything but this. $99, budsies.com; $59-199, mypetsies.com.
Sprints Running Hat
The super-light, moisture-wicking Tropical Jaguars hat (unisex) protects athletes and outdoor enthusiasts from noggin burn and wet eyes whenever they feel like running wild. $29, getsprints.com.
Bluprint Subscription
Kick-start your secret Santa’s side hustle with Bluprint — NBCUniversal’s digital subscription service that offers classes, projects and supplies across 20-plus crafting hobbies, like quilting, knitting, embroidery and crochet, that can easily transform a creative procrastinator into a weekend money maker. $8-200, mybluprint.com.
OurShelves Children’s Book Box
Guncles and lesbi-aunts will be bedtime-story superstars when they deliver this quarterly subscription box filled with racially and ethically diverse children’s books featuring LGBTQ, feminist and other traditionally under-represented characters and families. $20-70, ourshelves.com.
Kimball Quero Boots
Step up your partner’s foot-fashion game with these ruggedly constructed wingtip boots featuring mixed leather and rubber for a no-slip stride that are as dapper as they are “damn, boy – you lookin’ fiiine!” $245-255, querohms.com.
Dessert Gallery Party in a Box
A successful holiday potluck requires two staples: free-flowing booze and plenty of sweet treats. You’ll find the latter in this Party in a Box available in Southern Pecan Pie, Tres Leches, To-Die-For Fudge Pecan Pie or a customizable tasting box. $40-89, dessertgallery.com.
Cat Ball Bed
Cats lick their plates clean when there’s fish on the menu, but roles are reversed when cute kitties become shark bait in this killer-cozy bed that’s totally fin-tastic. $85, thecatball.com.
Kombucha Making Kit
Whether you guzzle it or gag on it, kombucha has proven it has staying power and now the most health-conscious homos in your squad can whip up a fresh batch of their favorite fermented fizz without forking over a bundle per bottle. $45, farmsteady.com.
Rory Rockmore Pronoun Necklace
Using proper pronouns in the LGBTQ world can be confusing — you’ll stand corrected if you accidentally misgender — but these 14K gold or white gold nameplate necklaces (also available in HE/him and SHE/her) remove all the guesswork so you can save face. $240, roryrockmore.com.
The 5 O’Clock Box & Tom of Finland Vodka
In these three-step kits — available in sparkling rosé, spiced Old Fashioned, smoky margarita, and Moscow mule — all 5-o’clock-somewhere-ers have to do is add alcohol (like Tom of Finland vodka), shake or stir, and garnish to get tipsier than a freshly cut Tannenbaum. $30, twistyourspirits.com; $35, tomoffinlandvodka.com.
Quartz Collective Healing Crystals
You don’t have to believe in magic to reap the benefits of this collection of curated stones and crystals (which is backed by scientific research, btw) that can help facilitate healing, luck, confidence and calm and soothe negative nervous energy like anxiety. Rub ’em hard enough and you might even conjure up a top who can host. $29, quartzcollective.com.
Succulentsbox.com
The best gift for friends in tiny apartments is even tinier plants that don’t require a ton of care. Live-and-let-live succulents and minis are the perfect present — because who the hell wants to attend another ficus funeral? $5-228, succulentsbox.com.
STOCKING STUFFERS
Mokuyobi Wallets
This color-blocked, couldn’t-be-queerer-if-it-tried collection of clothing and accessories pop so hard Crayola is blue-green with envy. Wallets so bright they’ll make a bish swish harder. $12-156, mokuyobi.com.
CBD Under $20
Pop a literal chill pill when your in-laws start their shit at Christmas supper with CBD hemp capsules or gummies clocking in at under $20 for more than a week’s worth of you-don’t-give-a-fuckness. $7-20, cbdfx.com.
Axol & Friends
These cute plush critters with a purpose have companion storybooks. Axol is gender neutral, using only the pronoun “they/them” in the books, which teach children about rare endangered species and advocate for sustainable, ethical production and consumerism while donating a portion of proceeds to youth empowerment programs around the world. $19, axolandfriends.com.
Socks That Save LGBTQ Lives
Take a cue from today’s black-sock-showing youth and don this out-and-proud rainbow-stripe pair, the proceeds from each will benefit The Trevor Project to provide crisis intervention and suicide prevention for LGBTQ youth. $17, fairtradewinds.net.
HipDot Pressed Glitter Palette
Hey Sis!, Big Boss Miss Ross and Royal Riot are just a few of the names in HipDot’s 15-shade pressed glitter palette designed for all genders to beat their faces like Ziggy Stardust. Proceeds will be donated to the Anti-Violence Project. $30, hipdot.com.
Tighty Whities Ornament
Baby, it’s really cold outside with these festive, glass-assed skivvies that add some bulge to your bulbs. $18, alwaysfits.com.
felixSEBASTIAN Earrings
Burl Ives sang the praises of silver and gold in 1964’s “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” but you can accessorize all the same with the very-now Nascence Collection Studs available in three shapes and metal tones. $50, iamfelixsebastian.com.
Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He spends his time writing from the beach with his dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @mikeyroxtravels.
Theater
José Zayas brings ‘The House of Bernarda Alba’ to GALA Hispanic Theatre
Gay Spanish playwright Federico García Lorca wrote masterpiece before 1936 execution
‘The House of Bernarda Alba’
Through March 1
GALA Hispanic Theatre
3333 14th St., N.W.
$27-$52
Galatheatre.org
In Federico García Lorca’s “The House of Bernarda Alba,” now at GALA Hispanic Theatre in Columbia Heights, an impossibly oppressive domestic situation serves, in short, as an allegory for the repressive, patriarchal, and fascist atmosphere of 1930s Spain
The gay playwright completed his final and arguably best work in 1936, just months before he was executed by a right-wing firing squad. “Bernarda Alba” is set in the same year, sometime during a hot summer in rural Andalusia, the heart of “España profunda” (the deep Spain), where traditions are deeply rooted and mores seldom challenged.
At Bernarda’s house, the atmosphere, already stifling, is about to get worse.
On the day of her second husband’s funeral, Bernarda Alba (superbly played by Luz Nicolás), a sixtyish woman accustomed to calling the shots, gathers her five unmarried daughters (ages ranging from 20 to 39) and matter-of-factly explain what’s to happen next.
She says, “Through the eight years of mourning not a breeze shall enter this house. Consider the doors and windows as sealed with bricks. That’s how it was in my father’s house and my grandfather’s. Meanwhile, you can embroider your trousseaux.”
It’s not an altogether sunny plan. While Angustias (María del Mar Rodríguez), Bernarda’s daughter from her first marriage and heiress to a fortune, is betrothed to a much younger catch, Pepe el Romano, who never appears on stage, the remaining four stand little chance of finding suitable matches. Not only are they dowry-less, but no men, eligible or otherwise, are admitted into their mother’s house.
Lorca is a literary hero known for his mastery of both lyrical poetry and visceral drama; still, “Bernarda Alba’s” plotline might suit a telenovela. Despotic mother heads a house of adult daughters. Said daughters are churning with passions and jealousies. When sneaky Martirio (Giselle Gonzáles) steals the photo of Angustias’s fiancé all heck kicks off. Lots of infighting and high drama ensue. There’s even a batty grandmother (Alicia Kaplan) in the wings for bleak comic relief.
At GALA, the modern classic is lovingly staged by José Zayas. The New York-based out director has assembled a committed cast and creative team who’ve manifested an extraordinarily timely 90-minute production performed in Spanish with English subtitles easily ready seen on multiple screens.
In Lorca’s stage directions, he describes the set as an inner room in Bernarda’s house; it’s bright white with thick walls. At GALA, scenic designer Grisele Gonzáles continues the one-color theme with bright red walls and floor and closed doors. There are no props.
In the airless room, women sit on straight back chairs sewing. They think of men, still. Two are fixated on their oldest siter’s hunky betrothed. Only Magdelena (Anna Malavé), the one sister who truly mourns their dead father, has given up on marriage entirely.
The severity of the place is alleviated by men’s distant voices, Koki Lortkipanidze’s original music, movement (stir crazy sisters scratching walls), and even a precisely executed beatdown choreographed by Lorraine Ressegger-Slone.
In a short yet telling scene, Bernarda’s youngest daughter Adela (María Coral) proves she will serve as the rebellion to Bernarda’s dictatorship. Reluctant to mourn, Adela admires her reflection. She has traded her black togs for a seafoam green party dress. It’s a dreamily lit moment (compliments of lighting designer Hailey Laroe.)
But there’s no mistaking who’s in charge. Dressed in unflattering widow weeds, her face locked in a disapproving sneer, Bernarda rules with an iron fist; and despite ramrod posture, she uses a cane (though mostly as a weapon during one of her frequent rages.)
Bernarda’s countenance softens only when sharing a bit of gossip with Poncia, her longtime servant convincingly played by Evelyn Rosario Vega.
Nicolás has appeared in “Bernarda Alba” before, first as daughter Martirio in Madrid, and recently as the mother in an English language production at Carnegie Melon University in Pittsburgh. And now in D.C. where her Bernarda is dictatorial, prone to violence, and scarily pro-patriarchy.
Words and phrases echo throughout Lorca’s play, all likely to signal a tightening oppression: “mourning,” “my house,” “honor,” and finally “silence.”
As a queer artist sympathetic to left wing causes, Lorca knew of what he wrote. He understood the provinces, the dangers of tyranny, and the dimming of democracy. Early in Spain’s Civil War, Lorca was dragged to the the woods and murdered by Franco’s thugs. Presumably buried in a mass grave, his remains have never been found.
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(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)
Sweat DC is officially expanding to Shaw, opening a new location at 1818 7th St., N.W., on Saturday, March 28 — and they’re kicking things off with a high-energy, community-first launch event.
To celebrate, Sweat DC is hosting Sweat Fest, a free community workout and social on Saturday, March 14, at 10 a.m. at the historic Howard Theatre. The event features a group fitness class, live DJ, local food and wellness partners, and a mission-driven partnership with the Open Goal Project, which works to expand access to youth soccer for players from marginalized communities.
For more details, visit Sweat DC’s website and reserve a spot on Eventbrite.
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