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My afternoon with Yariel

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River Correctional Center in Ferriday, La., on Feb. 1, 2020. Washington Blade contributor Yariel Valdés González, who is in U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement custody, is detained at this privately-run facility that is nearly three hours northwest of New Orleans in Louisiana’s rural Concordia Parish. (Washington Blade photo by Michael K. Lavers)

FERRIDAY, La. — It was shortly after 1 p.m. on Saturday when a male guard at the River Correctional Center, a privately-run facility in Louisiana’s rural Concordia Parish, brought me into the visitor’s room. I sat down at a long school cafeteria-style table and glanced at the self-empowerment murals that had been painted onto the wall. A couple of minutes later I looked over to a door with a small window in it and saw Yariel, who was wearing a green striped jumpsuit. Another male guard opened the door and Yariel entered the room. Within a couple of seconds, we were hugging each other tightly. I was nearly sobbing, but he assured me it was ok. After a couple of minutes, we sat down at the table — across from each other — and our visit began. I used one of the napkins that I took from a nearby gas station when I stopped there to use the restroom to wipe the tears from my eyes. A couple of minutes later I placed his hands into mine and he began to cry. I gave him one of the gas station napkins to wipe his eyes and tried to comfort him.

“It’s ok to cry,” I assured him.

I hadn’t seen Yariel in person since Jan. 27, 2019. We had spent the day reporting from a lesbian-run migrant shelter in the Mexican border city of Mexicali, and I dropped him off at the small apartment in Tijuana he shared with his father. Yariel and I were almost giddy, in part, because we had sung Lady Gaga songs at the top of our lungs during the two-hour drive from Mexicali to Tijuana. Those carefree moments seem like a lifetime ago.

Yariel on Saturday gave me two presents: A bracelet made from pieces of white and black trash bags and a small shoe made out of Maruchan ramen noodles packages and coffee creamer wrappers that will make a great Christmas tree ornament. We gossiped as friends, as brothers. We talked about Cuba and President Trump’s impeachment trial. I bought him a bottle of Sprite from the room’s vending machine. We also shared a bag of Doritos. A female guard who speaks Spanish was in the room with us. I was initially a bit uneasy to see her writing in a notebook, but after a few minutes I forgot she was there.

The bracelet Yariel gave to Washington Blade International News Editor Michael K. Lavers during their visit at the River Correctional Center in Ferriday, La., on Feb. 1, 2020. (Washington Blade photo by Michael K. Lavers)

At 2:50 p.m. she told us in Spanish that our visit was going to end in 10 minutes. Yariel wanted to give me two manila folders that had his journal entry and other writing from his time in U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement custody, but the guard told him I could not take them with me. Yariel had already placed the bracelet around my left wrist and a supervisor told the guard I could bring the ornament with me. I placed them, along with a passport-sized picture of him from the day he arrived at the facility, in my hand. We stood up and hugged each other tightly. I told him that I love him and we then left the room through separate doors. I walked out of the facility’s front door less than five minutes later and was back at my hotel in the New Orleans suburb of Kenner by 6:45 p.m.

It has been nearly a year since Yariel asked for asylum in the U.S. and entered ICE custody. The Washington Blade’s readers know a judge granted Yariel asylum last September. They also know his fate is now in the hands of the Board of Immigration Appeals in Virginia because ICE appealed the ruling.

There’s a certain irony in the fact Yariel began to write for the Blade in the fall of 2018, in part, because of the need to have a reporter in Tijuana who could cover the LGBTQ migrants who were arriving in the city with migrant caravans from Central America. The Blade’s reporting on these issues continues, with my most recent trip to Honduras and El Salvador that ended six days before I visited Yariel. This reporting remains as important as ever as the Trump administration’s hardline immigration policies continue to place LGBTQ migrants at risk.

It has also become deeply personal.

Yariel interviews a Mexican migrant at a lesbian-run migrant shelter in Mexicali, Mexico, on Jan. 27, 2019. (Washington Blade photo by Michael K. Lavers)

My husband and I on Friday, hours before I flew to Louisiana, attended a ceremony in Durham, N.C., where our dear friend Marcelo became a U.S. citizen. Marcelo, a dancer for the Carolina Ballet who is originally from Paraguay, worked very hard to reach that moment and we are so incredibly proud of him.

A banner at the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service Raleigh-Durham Field Office in Durham, N.C., on Jan. 31, 2020. Fifty-seven people became U.S. citizens during one of the swearing-in ceremonies that took place that day. (Washington Blade photo by Michael K. Lavers)

One of the more memorable moments of the ceremony was the video in which Trump congratulated Marcelo and the 56 others who had just become U.S. citizens. Not one of them clapped at the end of the video. They, along with the rest of us, know bullshit when they hear it, and we all responded in kind.

These new American citizens, along with Yariel, are exactly the kind of people who will make a positive contribution to this country and make it even better. They deserve our respect and support; not cheap rhetoric based on racism, xenophobia and white supremacy in order to appease a political base ahead of a presidential election.

One of the most heartbreaking parts of my visit with Yariel was when he told me the one thing he wants the most is his freedom that will allow him to begin a new life in the U.S. without fear of persecution. The fight to make Yariel’s dream come true continues. I hope my next trip to Louisiana is to pick him up after the Board of Immigration Appeals upholds his asylum ruling and ICE finally releases him from their custody.

Siempre estaré a tu lado, Yariel.

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Opinion | LGBTQ Virginians advocate D.C. statehood

The right of all Americans to be part of our democratic society

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My hometown will always be Washington, D.C. It’s the place where I was born and spent all of the first seven days of my life. As a lifelong Virginian however, where I live and attended schools, I straddle two communities important to me. 

As a business owner of 30 years in Washington, D.C., I pay many of my taxes and payroll taxes to the Nation’s Capital while I also pay income tax to Virginia where I’m a citizen.

Most important of all, as a gay Virginia voter, I can think of few lifelong political goals more important to me than achieving statehood for Washington, D.C. One of the compelling reasons I still make my home in Virginia and cross the Potomac River every day of my life, is because of my right as a Virginian to vote for two U.S. senators and for a member of the House of Representatives with the power to vote in Congress.

(It is still shocking to know that, with Washington, D.C. statehood still beyond grasp, the Honorable Eleanor Holmes Norton who represents D.C. in the U.S. House of Representatives, has never yet had the authority to vote on the floor of the House.)

At an early age, I was dumbfounded to know that D.C. then did not even have a local government. We lacked an elected mayor and city council, with almost all decisions for the District of Columbia made by the federal government. Yet today, even with a mayor and local government in place, it is breathtaking to know that my friends, neighbors and co-workers still have zero voice in the Capitol and no one to vote for them – and for us – in Congress.

Consider that one of the world’s most diverse and educated cities has so often been bullied by extreme conservative leaders on Capitol Hill who – whenever possible – turn back the clock for D.C. citizens on voting rights, abortion rights, gun measures and our civil rights including LGBTQ equality. Not a single voter in D.C. has much, if any, say over any of those decisions.

The absence of statehood and the lack of real voting rights means that the unforgivable strains of racism and homophobia often held sway not just for Washington D.C., but in denying the United States a true progressive majority on Capitol Hill too. 

Virginians get it. In the past decade, we’ve worked very hard in every county and city in the commonwealth to turn our regressive political past into a bright blue political majority. We have elected LGBTQ candidates to state and local offices in unprecedented numbers. Our vote is our power.

More significantly, through the work of Equality Virginia and its many allies, we are repealing scores of anti-LGBTQ measures and reforming our statutes and constitution to secure equal rights as LGBTQ voters, adoptive parents, married couples, students, and citizens. Doesn’t Washington, D.C. deserve that future?

Virginia needs more states – like D.C. – to join forces and represent all Americans. To achieve this, and to defeat or neuter the anti-democratic Senate filibuster rule, we need our friends, allies and neighbors, the citizens of Washington, D.C. to share in our democratic ambitions.

Long ago, Washington, D.C. resident, abolitionist and civil rights leader, Frederick Douglass declared that “the District is the one spot where there is no government for the people, of the people, and by the people. Washington, D.C. residents pay taxes, just like residents of Nevada, California or any other state. Washington, D.C. residents have fought and died in every American war just like residents of Ohio, Kentucky or any other state. The District deserves statehood and Congress should act to grant it.” 

Speaking for LGBTQ Virginians, we agree. Conferring statehood is not a gift nor a blessing from the rest of us, but instead, it is the absolute right of all Americans to be part of our democratic society. As LGBTQ Americans, if we are to pass the Equality Act and other fundamental civil rights measures, we need the State of Washington, D.C. and its voters by our side.

Bob Witeck is a longtime LGBTQ civil rights advocate, entrepreneur, and Virginian, with long roots and longstanding ties to D.C.

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Opinion | Representation matters: The gayest Olympics yet

From one out athlete to more than 160 in just 33 years

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OK, I really want a Tom Daley cardigan. The now gold-medal Olympian told Britain’s The Guardian that he took up crocheting during the pandemic. He even has an Instagram page dedicated to his knit creations, MadeWithLoveByTomDaley. It’s all very adorable; it’s all very Tom Daley. 

All that aside, you’d have to be practically heartless to not feel something when Tom Daley and his diving partner Matty Lee won the gold on Monday in the men’s synchronized 10-meter diving competition, placing just 1.23 points ahead of the Chinese. And then seeing him with tears in his eyes on the podium as “God Save the Queen” played. Later that week, he knitted a little bag featuring the Union Jack to hold and protect his medal. So very wholesome

Daley is certainly one of the highest profile LGBTQ athletes in these games. Besides the diver, the 2020 Summer Olympics, now in 2021 because of the pandemic, are hosting more than 160 out athletes. A record to be sure, but calling it a record does it somewhat of an injustice. The United States sent the first out athlete to the 1988 Summer Olympics, Robert Dover an equestrian rider competing in dressage. Dover remained the only out (sharing the title once in 1996 with Australian diver Craig Rogerson) for 10 years. Then, during the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing, the number of out athletes jumped to 15. London’s 2012 Olympics saw the number increase to 23. The 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro saw the number jump to 68 out athletes. And now we’re at over 160. 

So you get the trend building here. From one out athlete to more than 160. So very far, so very fast. And competing in everything from handball to sailing to golf to skateboarding. Also, noteworthy, New Zealand sent the first trans athlete, weightlifter Laurel Hubbard. These are but numbers and names, but to be sure, this sort of representation, this sort of visibility, is hugely important. Not just for athletes coming up behind them, but let’s think too of those out there, not yet even out, maybe watching in their parents’ living room. Seeing Tom Daley thank his husband, mention their son, this sort of queer normality being broadcast as if it is both groundbreaking and at the same time nothing at all — the importance of this cannot be overstated. 

On top of that, growing up gay, how many times were we all told, whether outright or simply implied, that sports were more or less off limits to us. Meant to display the peaks of gender and ability, sports were not meant for those who couldn’t fit neatly into that narrative. But it appears that that narrative is slowly becoming undone. Just look beyond the Olympics, to the wider world of sports. Earlier this summer, pro-football’s Carl Nassib came out.   

And maybe I’m just of a generation that marvels at the destruction of each and every boundary as they come down. We had so very little as far as representation back then. Now to see it all, and in so many different sports, you can’t help but to wonder what the future will hold for us; and it really delights the imagination, doesn’t it? 

It is the gayest Olympics yet. And if the trend laid out above continues, it will only get gayer as the years go on. And if it’s a barometer for anything, I think we will see a lot of things getting a bit gayer from now on.

Brock Thompson is a D.C.-based writer. He contributes regularly to the Blade.

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Opinion | Blame Mayor Bowser for violence epidemic?

In a word, ‘no,’ as the problem is nationwide

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The simple answer to the question “Does the Mayor get the blame for the violence epidemic?” is NO! This is not something that can be laid at any one person’s feet. The epidemic of gun violence is gripping the entire nation. 

The frustration and outrage I and everyone else feels are palpable. It’s frightening when you hear gunshots in your neighborhood. It makes bigger headlines when the shots fired are in neighborhoods not used to that like the recent shooting on 14th and Riggs, N.W. When the shots rang out patrons of upscale restaurants like Le Diplomate ran or ducked under their tables for cover. When shots were fired outside Nationals stadium the national media lit up to report it. The truth is we must have the same outrage every time shots are fired and people hurt or killed in any neighborhood of our city.  

Trying to lay the blame for this at the feet of the mayor, as some people on social media and in opinion and news columns in the Washington Post are doing is wrong. Some would have you believe the mayor is just sitting by and allowing the violence to happen. There are pleas “Mayor Bowser do something!” as if she could wave a magic wand and the shootings will stop. 

In a recent Washington Post column, “Bowser pressed to act after shootings,” a number of Council members are quoted including Chairman Phil Mendelson, Ward 2 member Brooke Pinto, Ward 4 member Janeese Lewis George, At-large member Anita Bonds and Ward 5 member Kenyan McDuffie. They all call for something to be done but not one of them says what they would do. It’s clear they are as frustrated and outraged as the rest of us but have no easy answers. What is clear is casting blame on the mayor and police commissioner won’t help to stop the violence and shootings. 

Again, this epidemic of violence isn’t just an issue for D.C. but a national epidemic. Recently our mayor sat beside the president at a White House meeting called to discuss what can be done about this with mayors and law enforcement officials from around the nation. No one from the president down had an answer that can make it stop right away. Many in D.C. would be surprised at the ranking of the 50 cities with the most violent crime per 100,000 residents showing D.C. with 977 violent crimes per 100,000 residents at number 27 behind cities like Rockford, Ill., Anchorage, Ala., and Milwaukee, Wisc. Crime in nearly all those cities and murder rates have gone up, in many cases dramatically, since the pandemic. 

The solution to ending gun violence is to get the guns out of the hands of those who are using them for crime but that is easy to say and much harder to do. We know ending poverty will make a difference. Giving every child a chance at a better education and ensuring real opportunities for every young person will make a difference. We must also hold people responsible for the serious crimes they commit and often courts are a system of revolving door justice where we find the same people arrested for a serious crime back on the street committing another one and the same gun used for multiple crimes.

There are anti-crime programs that might work but they need buy-in from the entire community including activists and the clergy who must work in concert with our political leadership. D.C. is funding a host of programs including ‘violence disrupters,’ job training, and  mental health and substance abuse programs. They all need more money and more support. 

In D.C., we have only 16 elected officials with real power; the Council, the mayor, the attorney general and our congressional representative. We have community leaders elected to local ANCs. When members of the council attack the mayor, some simply to make political hay for their own future election, it won’t solve any problems. 

This must be viewed as a crisis and our 16 elected leaders should sit down, agree to a series of anti-crime programs and efforts they will adequately fund, and stop attacking each other. Once they agree on the programs to fund they should bring together ANC members from across the city to a meeting at the convention center and work out a plan for what each can do to move us forward to safer neighborhoods. 

We must work together as one if we are to succeed in making life safer and better for all. 

Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist. He writes regularly for the Blade.

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