Opinions
Cruising the high seas: from Italy to the U.S.
Adventures abound on Celebrity ASCENT
Blade contributor Peter Rosenstein is crossing the Atlantic on the Celebrity ASCENT. He filed these dispatches from his journey.
Blog # 1- 2025 Celebrity ASCENT transatlantic cruise
Spent two great days in Rome. I don’t sleep on planes so the first morning was kind of a blur. I had arranged for a taxi from the airport, which worked well, and arrived at my hotel, the Nuova Nord, near the train station, about 10:00am. Check in time is officially 4:00pm but I lucked out, and got into my room by 10:30. This just added to my feeling good about the hotel, along with the $115 a night cost, including breakfast. So put my suitcase in the room and headed out to walk around Rome. My first stop as usual in Rome was the Trevi Fountain, which I love. Once there, did what I always do to get a great picture. Headed across the street from the fountain to the second floor of Benetton. They still have one window that remains clear, and you get the best picture above the crowds. Then I kept walking past the Coliseum, and eventually over toward the Vatican. I had made plans in advance to have dinner with Samantha Basar the new staff addition to My Lux Cruise travel agents, and Jill Lotenberg. Jill is an amazing professional photographer, and documents the cruises we go on. We had a nice early relaxed dinner, and after walking it off, I was back at my hotel before 8:00pm for a good night’s sleep.
The next morning met a D.C. friend, John, who just happened to be in Rome visiting his parents. John’s mom is Italian, and I was surprised to find he speaks the language fluently. We went for coffee at 11:00am at a café he likes near the Pantheon. He swore by their coffee and pastry, and he was right, it was really good. Then we spent a few hours walking the city, and ended up at the Basilica di Santa Maria Maggiore to see the tomb of Pope Francis. There was a long line but it moved really fast, and the tomb is like the former Pope, very simple, but truly impressive. After that John found a scooter to ride back to meet his parents. I think it took a lot of guts to ride a scooter into Rome traffic. I spent a little more time walking around. It was going to be an early night with some pizza for dinner.
The next morning, I headed over to the UNA hotel, just a couple of blocks away, to meet the bus arranged to take my group to Civitavecchia, the port about an hour out of Rome, where we boarded the Celebrity ASCENT, our home for the next thirteen days. That all went really smoothly, and I was onboard, in my stateroom, before 11:00 AM. Then it was meeting my butler, yes, I have one, as does everyone in the Retreat, and also met my very charming room attendant, who had made sure my bedding was all hypoallergenic. Then walked around the ship to see if there were any changes since my cruise last year. There didn’t seem to be any. Then at 4:30 headed to the sail-away party Dustin and Scott, my favorite travel agents, had prepared for our group in their suite, the Iconic Suite, to meet old and new friends. We left port a little late as there apparently was a medical emergency even before we left port, and an ambulance was called to take someone off the ship. Turned out it was a member of our group, but thankfully he is ok. When we finally set sail, we all headed to the first of the nightly, listed in the daily newsletter, as the LGBTQIA+ get togethers, in the Eden lounge. There were more people there than we expected, and it was nice to meet more new cruisers from both the States and Europe. Then it was off to my first dinner onboard, at the Rooftop grill, with Michael Magee and his friends, most of them new to me. It was a nice evening, and the baked cookie with vanilla ice cream, the main reason to eat at that restaurant, didn’t disappoint. Then it was back to my cabin for some sleep as I had an early tour booked the next morning in Cagliari, Sardinia.
Day 2 began in an interesting way. Hope it doesn’t portend anything, but early morning the Captain announced we would be getting to Cagliari about 30 minutes late as there was another medical emergency on the ship, and he had to divert closer to shore to let the Italian Coast Guard take the person off the ship. Hopefully he/she will be ok.
We finally docked in Cagliari, and I headed to meet the bus for my tour. It was a four-hour City Highlights tour. We drove around the Island and then had some time to walk the city center. It included stops at the museum, and we saw some beautiful old churches. It is a beautiful city. The tour guide was a very nice woman but talked incessantly, never feeling the need to take a breath, lol, and her voice was a little hard to take in our ears from the little gizmos we each had. I kidded about it with two nice guys I met on the tour from Vancouver, Canada, who agreed with me. Then it was back to the ship and some relaxing time on the Retreat sundeck, a cappuccino in the retreat lounge, and then the second LGBTQIA+ happy hour. Then dinner with Scott, Dustin, and Rick, in Luminae restaurant, the Retreat restaurant. Not an auspicious start for their menu, as the steak was close to inedible. But the charming staff, and chocolate desert, made up for that. Then it was off to the day after Halloween party the ship threw, and saw some incredible costumes. Then to bed after a great first full day, day two according to Celebrity, of the cruise.
Blog # 2- 2025 Celebrity ASCENT transatlantic cruise
Day 3 was a sea day. We were heading from Cagliari to Gibraltar. It is days like this why I go on my transatlantic cruises. I love being on the water. Spent some time in the morning writing and then headed to the gym for the first time. I hope to go there for at least an hour each day. A half hour on the lifecycle and then another thirty minutes with some weights and machines. It is great to sit on the lifecycle looking out at the ocean, instead of the wall I look at when using it at my home gym. I then headed to the Retreat lounge for my cappuccino and then up to the sun deck. It was very windy but I found a place out of the wind to sit and read. Then back to the Retreat lounge where I am having this running argument with the retreat managers, trying to get them to help me with my WIFI. Seems this year the powers that be don’t want to give me access to my phone and the computer, at the same time, without an extra charge. Just typical of what we are seeing on the cruise by Celebrity, think it may also be on other lines, of the nickel-and-diming of passengers. Other than that, things have been good, LOL. Then headed down to deck 4 and Café al Bacio, where I enjoy going for a light lunch.
They have these great little sandwiches, and some more good cappuccino. By this time, I am getting the decaffeinated kind. I met Jill Lotenberg there, our group photographer. She is a professional photographer who is related to Scott, my travel agent, and joins us on the cruises to document them. She is so fun to chat with. Also there, sitting somewhere else, was Samantha. The day went by lazily and then it was time for the LGBTQIA happy hour. There I met Michael Magee, and some other friends, and we decided to do Luminae for dinner, and the late show in the theater. It was Bridges. I had seen it before on a previous cruise, and it was just as great. Incredible talent on the ship. Before the show the Captains, yes there are two, and they are brothers. Celebrity assigned them both to the ASCENT as a PR gimmick when the ship was launched. They just happened to be together on this cruise heading back to the states. They spoke to the audience, and could make good money as a comedy act if they get tired of being captains. They are both charming and funny. After the show I walked around the ship for a bit, heading to the Martini bar just to look around and then it was off to my stateroom for a good night’s sleep.
Day 4 dawned nice and as usual I was up early with coffee delivered to the room. We were going to be docking in Gibraltar by 9:00am. I had a decision to make as to whether I would head into town after we docked, or just stay on the ship. Since I have been to Gibraltar a few times before, enjoying the monkeys there, I decided to stay on the ship. It’s always nice when the ship empties out. After a couple of hours of writing I headed to the gym and it was totally empty. So, no wait for a lifecycle or any other equipment today. Then it was off to the Retreat lounge and my cappuccino. The weather was great so headed to deck 17, the upper deck of the Retreat sun deck, found a nice lounge chair, and kicked back with my kindle and relaxed for a couple of hours. Then back to the stateroom to write for a bit, and get ready for the happy hour. Scott and Dustin had arranged for us to get early access to The Club to see the early show there, Smoke and Ivories. Again, have seen it before, but it is great and will see it again later in the cruise. I sat next to a gentleman who was saving two seats for friends. After a bit I began chatting with him and found out his son was in the show. His son is the dance captain, and an amazing tap dancer. His name is Britton, and I hope to interview him later during the cruise. He is only twenty-one and has been dancing professionally for three years. He was just given another year contract with Celebrity so will be on its newest ship, the XCEL, when I am on it for my 2026 transatlantic cruise. After the show a few of us headed to Luminae for dinner. Then there was a Pride Party in the Eden lounge to end the day on a great note. Now I could look forward to the next six days at sea as we head to Bermuda.
Blog #3 2025 Celebrity ASCENT transatlantic cruise
Day 5 dawned sunny but windy and the ship was rocking a little. I am lucky that it doesn’t really bother me too much at this time. Hoping it doesn’t get much worse. But again, not a day to sit on the sundeck. So, my usual coffee and breakfast delivered to the room, and a few hours of writing. Today I was drafting the column I would submit to the Blade tomorrow morning, after I saw the results of the election. Tuesday was going to be an important election in a number of states including Governor’s races in Virginia and New Jersey, the vote on proposition 50 in California, votes on Supreme Court Justices in Pennsylvania, the Mayor’s race in New York, and some statewide races in Georgia. My draft took the position that Democrats would win them all, might as well be positive. Then I headed to the gym for my hour of penance for all that I am eating. After that I got in touch with Cheryl and Jeff, childhood friends, who I knew would be on this cruise. We met at 1:00pm at the buffet for lunch and sat and talked until 4:00, it was great. Hope to get together with them again for dinner during the cruise. After that it was time to head back to the stateroom, shower and get ready for happy hour. We hung out there longer because Rick told us there was an entertainer named Tom who would be playing at 7:00pm. Turned out he had the wrong Tom. So, a group of us headed to dinner at Raw on Five, the sushi bar. Always good to eat there before too late in the cruise for the fresher fish. The company was great, but unfortunately couldn’t say the same for the food which I thought was not as good as on past cruises. After dinner I headed back to the stateroom and prepared to be up late waiting for election results. We are now four hours ahead of D.C. time, we have been setting our clocks back an hour a night on the ship for the past two days. So, Virginia polls closed at 7:00pm and I could start seeing results sometime after 11:00. They were coming in fast after that and all being great. So, my draft was right on target. I finally turned off the light at about 2:00am. Day 6 dawned rockier than yesterday. I was up early and finalizing my column to send to Kevin Naff at the Blade for Friday’s issue. It felt good to be sending such a positive column to him as Democrats had won big in all the key elections. I thought of last year when I was on a cruise when the felon won the White House and how depressed I was. After sending the column I headed to the gym. I had booked a behind the scenes tour of the theater and that was fun. I met Britton and his dad there. Britton had brought his dad for the tour and told me he would be dancing on the main stage on the XCEL. From there headed to Café al Bacio for a light lunch and then tired from lack of sleep last night, just went back to the stateroom and relaxed all afternoon until it was time for happy hour. Britton reminded me he and the Eden production cast would be performing in the Eden lounge this evening in the show, Wonder at Eden: Allure. I was hoping the ship wouldn’t be rocking too much for the show to go on. I actually felt sick at dinner, but think it was from something I ate at. I went back to the stateroom for an your but then felt better and headed to the show in Eden. It was great. It revolved around an artist who did a painting during the show with the cast at times holding his canvas. His name is Paris and he is amazing. I hope to chat with him more in the coming days. Then it was back to the stateroom and a good night’s sleep.
Day 7 dawned windy but warm. It was going to be a really lazy sea day. My favorite kind of day. Coffee delivered to the room, then the gym, then cappuccino in the retreat lounge. I headed to the sundeck but it was a little to windy to stay long. So some more writing, finally getting a start on my next book. I was working on the introduction to what the draft title is, From Camelot to Fascism in 65 short years. I then drafted a column on Jill Lotenberg our group photographer, but who is so much more than that. At 4:00pm headed to the iconic suite for Scott and Dustin’s second party of the cruise. This one was even larger as they invited people beyond our group and it was really nice. After that my plans for the evening included meeting Denis and Jonathan to head to the early show at the theater. It was Karen Grainger who is a great singer and is able to assume the voices of so many other singers like Cher and Streisand. Then it was of to Eden for a wonderful dinner. Celebrity will do away with this restaurant on the new XCEL.
That is sad as many think it is actually the best restaurant on the ship. After that it was off to sleep. We weren’t going to be setting our clocks back an hour as we had the past few nights.
Blog #4 2025 Celebrity ASCENT transatlantic cruise
Day 8 dawned grey and very rocky. The room was making all kinds of noises. But life on the ship remains the same for me, at least for my morning routine of having coffee delivered to the room, and then sitting down to write. I felt like I may be getting the beginning of a slight cold so would wait awhile till I decided if I could skip the gym for the day. No rush, as there was nothing else on the agenda.
In general, the sea days for me, as they say, are rinse-and-repeat. Turned out I did go to the gym, and then headed to the 2:30 show in the theater which was take two on Karen Grainger. She really is quite good and this afternoon she did her impressions of a new group of singers. As she says, she is an impressionist, not an impersonator. I think the show could be improved if she had pictures of the women in whose voice she is singing on the big screen behind her. There were clearly some in the audience who weren’t quite sure, especially of the women whose voices are not as distinctive. Now there was no mistaking when she sang in the voice of Cher, Streisand, or Janice Joplin. Again, she is really good. One of the members of our group, Michael Magee, had planned a caftan bar crawl. Dress up in a caftan, and stop at a series of the bars on board, and drink at each. I did pass on that, not really a costume person, or a big drinker, but did meet up with them at the LGBTQ happy hour and they looked great, and happy after all the booze. Then it was dinner at Luminae, and for me, an early night. On my way back to my cabin I bumped into Paris, the artist from the show at Eden the night before, and we reconfirmed we would get together with in the next couple of days for coffee. The daily newsletter on my bed when I got back to my cabin confirmed we gained another hour tonight so by the morning we would only be two hours ahead of the East Coast.
Day 9 dawned a little cloudy but a little less rocky. I was able to spend some time on the Retreat sundeck in the afternoon and had lunch there. Based on the daily newsletter there were two events I wanted to go to during the day. I first went to the gym to sit on the lifecycle, actually peddling while sitting there. Then I went to the afternoon show in The Club, A Tribute to Adele, by Molly Kane. She is great. Molly is part of the cast in the main theater, but based on this show she should be a headliner all on her own. Darren, the Cruise Director, gave her this opportunity and it was the smart thing to do. He is clearly a good judge of talent. Then at 5:00 I headed back to The Club for a Senior Officer Party, for Elite status guests. I have that status based on how many cruises I have been on. It doesn’t get me much, but the most important benefit is free laundry. From there it was off to the LGBTQ happy hour in the Eden lounge and then dinner in Luminae. After dinner most of my dinner companions headed to their cabins, but I went back to the Eden lounge for the 10:15 show, Wonder at Eden: Shimmerbox, with the Eden show cast. It was really good, and all the dancers, including dance captain, Britton, are great. There was a funny scene there with a woman who has her dog with her, saving seats and pretending the people were just in the bathroom. Well after an hour I spoke to her and she wasn’t happy I said something about not being able to reserve seats for that long. Then another woman went and removed her bag and sat down and got an ovation from a big part of the crowd. After the show it was back to my cabin. Still fairly early as we turned our clocks back another hour this evening. So now when I wake up will only be one hour ahead of D.C. time. Tomorrow is another sea day, and then Monday, we reach Bermuda.
Blog #5 2025 Celebrity ASCENT transatlantic cruise
Day 10 dawned gray, warm, with pretty smooth seas. A nice start to the last of the six sea days from Gibraltar to Bermuda. I have enjoyed each of them. We gained another hour last night so even though I got back to my cabin around 11:30 still had a good night’s sleep before coffee was delivered early.
I edited, and sent my regular weekly column to the Blade, and then edited the first four of my blogs, and sent them off as well. That felt really good. Then got ready for another relaxed day. I headed to the gym for my time on the lifecycle, and a few weights, and then to the Retreat lounge for my cappuccino. I bumped into Kenny Silverman there who was working and planned to head to the sundeck. But slowly the clouds moved in and the rain began. So that ended my immediate plans. Just stayed longer in the lounge reading and then headed to Café al Baccio for lunch. Those little sandwiches and a piece of marble poundcake hit the mark. The day was going to be reading and writing, and I admit, an afternoon nap. Life is so hard on the ship. Then it was off to the LGBTQ happy hour and a glass of wine. Four of us decided we would try to go to Blue restaurant. I had never eaten there in all my cruises. It was really good. Clean and healthy food. I had a great roasted turkey salad, and it was better than either of the steaks I had tried at Luminae. I followed that with chocolate and praline ice cream, what could be better. After that we headed to the theater to see Awaken on the main theater stage. It was great. The cast is so uniformly talented. Then for me it was back to the cabin ending a great day. We were now heading to Bermuda, and land, for the first time in days. The weather forecast was for nice sunny weather, but windy.
Day 11 dawned mostly clear and sunny. We were close to Bermuda when I got up at sunrise at 6:30 am. We docked at The Royal Naval Dockyard at 8:00am, right on time. The sun was out, it was 75 degrees, and thus far, much less windy than predicted. I got my coffee delivered and sat down to write. I had not booked any excursions for the day as I had been to Bermuda three times before. As I kidded friends, unless I was invited to Bloomberg’s or Oprah’s home, there was nothing really new, I hadn’t seen on the Island. It is a beautiful place. Hamilton, the capital is great. I ended up deciding to go to the gym around 10:30 and it was empty. There were only two other people there. So, I did my lifecycle and then some weights. Then decided to leave the ship and walk around the dock for an hour and look at some of the shops, and get more steps in. It was beautiful and sunny, but the wind was picking up, but nice none-the-less. Then got back on the ship and headed to Café al Baccio where I ran into Mark and Jay. They went for a drink, and I had my cappuccino. There was an early sail-away party at Scott and Dustin’s Iconic suite at 3:30. It was really nice, and Jill took her usual group picture. Met a couple of people I hadn’t met before.
Then it was off to the LGBTQ happy hour, and the hard decision of the day. What show to see, and should it be before, of after, dinner. After much angst, a group of us including Michael Magee, Denis and Jonathan, Mark and Jay and Diane, decided to go to dinner first at Luminae, they were serving lobster, and a later show. Michael, Denis, and I, decided to go see the 9:15 show at The Club, Smoke and Ivories. We had to line up by 8:15 to get front row seats, which Denis and I did. I had seen the show before but it was just as great the second time. After the show I headed back to my cabin for the evening. We would now look toward two more sea days as we head to Ft. Lauderdale.
Blog #6 2025 Celebrity ASCENT transatlantic cruise
Day 12 dawned fairly warm, but with a little bit rocky sea, and it got worse in the next few hours. As usual, I had my coffee delivered, and relaxed on the couch watching MSNBC. It is one of the channels available. Others include FOX, and the BBC. Watching MSNBC during the cruise reinforces my reasons for never watching it at home. It is Veterans Day and I thought about all my friends who have served our nation, and put a post on FB thanking them. I thought about my dad who had served in WW II, where he earned a Bronze Star. Like so many of his generation he never spoke of his time in the service.
It was going to be a lazy day. Writing, gym, eating, happy hour, eating again, and some entertainment. The tough life of the cruise passenger on the Celebrity ASCENT. I had gotten my laundry back last night, so had a clean t-shirt for the gym. Again, one of the only benefits of Elite status I use is the free bag of laundry. The sea got rockier as the day went on, so not all that comfortable walking around. I went to the LGBTQ happy hour, where Jill took a group photo. I went to dinner at Luminae with Jay and Mark, and it was fun with great conversation. They are really interesting guys and live fulltime in Las Vegas. After dinner I walked around a little but it was still rocky so ended up heading back to the cabin early. Hoping tomorrow will be smoother sailing.
Day 13. Well, the Captain kept his promise, and it was smoother sailing for our last day at sea, on the way to Ft. Lauderdale. I had coffee delivered, but then went to the buffet at 9:30 to meet my friends Cheryl and Jeff. After that, made my last visit to the ship’s gym to sit on the lifecycle and do a few weights. Then it was off to the Retreat lounge for my cappuccino. The rest of the afternoon would be lazy. I packed before I headed to LGBTQ happy hour and met nine friends there who I joined for dinner at the Rooftop Garden Grill. Can’t leave without another baked chocolate chip cookie and vanilla ice cream. After dinner some of us headed to the theater for the final show, Residency. I was not overly impressed. The cast individually was good, but the production wasn’t anything special. Then back to the cabin to close up my suitcases and get a few hours of sleep. My alarm is set for 5:30 and will head to the Fine Cut Steakhouse at 6:15am to walk off the ship, taking my own luggage, and head to the airport. I lucked out, and my flight was on time, and even arrived back in DC fifteen minutes early.
It was another great trip with great friends. Generally, the crew is amazing. They can’t do enough for you, and always have a smile on their face. They work really hard. The only cog in the wheel for me who blogs, and writes, from the ship was the intransigence of not allowing me to have both my phone and computer connected to WIFI at the same time. That has never been an issue before. But I found the Hotel Director on the ship for this crossing, Danuta Nosidlak, was both rude, and then when she said she would look into it, I never heard from her. When I confronted her, she asked, “didn’t someone contact you?” and when I said no, she appeared not to care. It may seem minor, but when you pay for two people at the Retreat price, and are only one in the cabin, and give a lot of publicity to Celebrity as I have over the years, I do expect at least a little more courtesy. Again, that didn’t take away from how great the Celebrity ASCENT is as a ship. The captains, brothers, were great, and kept every one entertained throughout the cruise. They could make money as a comedy act. So now I wait for next year, when my transatlantic cruise will be on the Celebrity XCEL out of Barcelona, on October 23rd.

Opinions
Evan Low is not the leader the Victory Fund needs at this moment
The board must recognize what is at stake and act before org’s legacy is lost
As co-founder and the first executive director of the Victory Fund and Victory Institute, I find the ongoing turmoil between a dozen or more employees and the organization’s new president, Evan Low, deeply distressing—particularly during such a critical election year.
The Victory Fund’s mission has always been clear and important: to elect and support qualified LGBTQ candidates for public office and, in doing so, secure a “seat at the table” from which LGBTQ issues can be advanced. That mission is too important to let internal turmoil diminish it.
I applaud the employees for going public with their concerns. When harassment allegations and other serious complaints threaten to derail an organization that was once so effective, where else are employees supposed to turn? The board of directors has a legal and fiduciary responsibility to the organization and to its donors.
I do not know Mr. Low, nor have I ever met him. Given my role as a founder, former executive director, and major donor, I found that somewhat remarkable. I was also surprised by the organization’s lack of contact with me at any level—whether to seek my financial support, ask for help with fundraising, or simply seek the perspective of someone involved in building the organization from its earliest days.
When Mr. Low was hired, members of the press contacted me about reports concerning his involvement in previous election-law matters. I declined to comment beyond saying that the board had hired an outside search firm to conduct the search and that I was in no position to assess any issues in Mr. Low’s past.
In hindsight, however, I have come to believe that Mr. Low is not the leader the Victory Fund needs at this particular moment. Ultimately, though, this is a matter for the board of directors to resolve. The board has an obligation to act decisively and independently before this internal conflict further damages an organization whose stature, effectiveness, and reputation were built over decades. The work of the founding board, subsequent boards of directors, and former leaders David Mixner, Brian Bond, Chuck Wolfe, and Annise Parker should not be so easily undone.
The Victory Fund once commanded the admiration, confidence, and financial support of countless people—including me. I hope the board recognizes what is at stake and acts before that legacy is lost.
(Correction: An earlier version of this op-ed called for the board to conduct an independent investigation of the allegations. The board did conduct such an investigation.)
William Waybourn is co-founder and the first executive director of the Victory Fund and Victory Institute.
For years, transgender Americans have been told that visibility is important. We should tell our stories, educate people, speak publicly about our experiences and show younger transgender people that a future is possible. I understand that argument because I have participated in that kind of visibility myself. Nearly a decade ago, I appeared in National Geographic’s “Gender Revolution,” in 2017, hosted by Katie Couric. I have written publicly about being transgender, participated in LGBTQ politics and spent years thinking about what it means to transition in America. My history is hardly a secret. But as I have gotten older, I have increasingly found myself wanting something considerably less dramatic: I want the right to be an ordinary man.
That does not mean I am ashamed of being transgender, nor does it mean that transgender activists should stop fighting for our rights. Many of the freedoms I enjoy exist because previous generations of LGBTQ people were willing to be conspicuous when visibility carried considerable personal risk. But equality cannot require permanent visibility. There is a strange expectation placed upon members of minority groups that our lives should contain some larger social meaning. A transgender person who overcomes adversity is called “brave.” Someone who talks openly about transition becomes “inspiring.” Someone who succeeds becomes an example of “trans resilience.” Sometimes those descriptions are deserved and sincerely appreciated. But sometimes I do not want to represent resilience. Sometimes I just want to walk my dogs, sit in a coffee shop with my laptop, complain about Northern Virginia traffic, go swimming, write books and figure out what I am having for dinner. I also want to be able to gossip with my friends in meaningless ways and do off kilter things that resemble fun: axe throwing, bowling, and karaoke.
When I was younger, being transgender occupied an enormous amount of psychological territory. Transition required decisions, explanations and difficult conversations. Other people had questions. My body seemed consequential in a way that other people’s bodies did not. There was always another milestone ahead of me, and for a while it was difficult to imagine reaching a point when gender would no longer dominate my thoughts. Eventually, however, something unexpected happened: life became life again. The questions that occupy me today are increasingly the same mundane questions that occupy millions of other adults. What kind of career do I want? Am I being a good friend? What should I write next? What kind of person do I want to become?
Most strangers who meet me today simply see a man. They do not know my medical history or what I looked like years ago. They don’t know that I looked like a skinny track star, and then was put into the resemblances of a meager nonbinary body. They do not know the chronology of my transition unless I decide to tell them. There is tremendous freedom in that, and I have come to think of it not as deception but as privacy. Nobody introduces himself by providing strangers with a complete inventory of his medical history, childhood insecurities and previous identities. Human beings reveal themselves gradually. Different people know different parts of us, and intimacy develops when we decide that somebody has earned access to more of our story.
Yet transgender people are frequently encouraged to regard disclosure as a measure of authenticity. I no longer believe that it is. There are circumstances in which being transgender matters enormously, and there are others in which it barely matters at all. When I am writing, I want somebody to care about the quality of the sentence. When I am working, I want somebody to care whether I did the job well. When I make a friend, I want that person to discover the complicated human being underneath the surface: my ambitions, flaws, anxieties, ridiculous stories and sense of humor. Being transgender may eventually become part of that conversation, but it does not have to be the first thing somebody knows about me.
That, to me, is one of the least discussed promises of equality. For decades, LGBTQ people fought for the right to be seen because invisibility was often enforced through shame and discrimination. Visibility therefore became a form of liberation. But perhaps successful visibility should eventually produce another freedom: the freedom to become unremarkable. A gay couple should be able to bore their neighbors with complaints about their mortgage. A lesbian should not have to become an ambassador for lesbianism whenever she enters a room. A transgender man should not have to turn his body into a public seminar about gender. He should occasionally be allowed to be some guy. Transgender people, in a sense, should also have the right to be flawed: sometimes we yell at our romantic counterparts, and other times we get fired from jobs for being obnoxious. But we are only human, just like you.
There are, of course, transgender people who cannot or do not want to disappear into ordinary life, and there are young transgender people desperately searching for evidence that adulthood is possible for them. Visible transgender people can provide that evidence. But there should be another story available to those young people as well: you can grow up, transition and eventually spend less time thinking about transition. You can become preoccupied with your career, fall in love, get divorced, write a terrible first draft and spend three days fixing it, worry about your parents, buy groceries and acquire all the wonderfully tedious problems of adulthood.
That might not sound revolutionary, but perhaps that is precisely what makes it meaningful. The ultimate promise of transgender equality should not be that every transgender person becomes visible, celebrated, courageous, or inspirational. It should include the possibility that a transgender man can walk into a room and nobody finds his gender history particularly interesting. He can simply be a man living his life. Increasingly, I think that ordinary freedom is what I wanted from transition all along.
Isaac Amend is a transgender man and writer based in D.C. In 2017, he starred in National Geographic’s ‘Gender Revolution’ documentary. He sits on the board of the LGBT Democrats of Virginia. His author’s portfolio is available at isaacamend.com, and you can catch him on Instagram at: @isaacamend.
Opinions
LGBTQ community must vote in big numbers
We have a chance to retake Congress and flip governors’ mansions
On Nov. 3, we have a chance to make a difference for our own community, and for so many others, who are being hurt by the lying, grifting, felon in the White House, his fascist aides, and sycophants in Congress. The danger they pose is real.
We have seen members of the LGBTQ community have their lives threatened, and some even killed. The anti-trans language, and anti-trans legislation, both supported and proposed by this administration, and their MAGA followers around the nation, is real. In the Department of Defense, we have seen trans heroes drummed out of the military. Books on our community taken off library shelves, and our history being wiped out. Even the history of the Enola Gay, the plane that dropped the atomic bomb, was wiped out before someone actually told the dangerous, moron, Pete Hegseth, Secretary of Defense, that Gay was the name of the pilot’s mother, not a reference to our community.
Many members of the Log Cabin Republicans will proudly tell you that the administration is actually pro-LGBTQ, as there are gay members of the felon’s administration. What they don’t like to dwell on, is their silence during these attacks on the community. Yes, there are people like Richard Grennell, who destroyed the Kennedy Center. He cancelled concerts by the Gay Men’s Chorus, and programs by drag queens. Then there is Scott Bessent, the highest-ranking queer, a clearly self-hating, Secretary of the Treasury. A man who benefitted from the work of all the activists in our community, so he could get married, and have children, but then won’t speak out for the community. I wrote a column suggesting when his children grow up, they will be embarrassed by what their father didn’t do. Most of the other members of the LGBTQ community in this administration are either members, or supporters, of Log Cabin, and have sworn fealty to the lying, grifting, Trump in order to get, and keep, their jobs.
So, it is beyond time, for the LGBTQ community, and our allies, to vote, and vote in large numbers, to say ‘ENOUGH’, we will not continue to stand idly by while we, and others, are being hurt by this self-serving, venal administration.
Barney Frank once said “If we aren’t at the table, we are on the menu.” But we have come to realize, not every one of us at the table, will work to protect us. There are some at the table today who either agree with what the administration is doing, or are remaining silent out of fear. They remind us every day of the truth of the slogan, ‘Silence = Death.’
So, Nov. 3 is our next chance to speak out. We can do it with our votes. If we vote in large enough numbers, we have the chance to not only take back the Congress, the House and Senate, but to impact state governments, cities, and local communities. We have the real chance to take back the governor’s mansions in Ohio, by electing Amy Acton; in Iowa, by electing Rob Sand; in Florida, by electing David Jolly; and in Georgia, by electing Keisha Lance Bottoms, among other states. These races are all close, and our voting in big numbers can make the difference. Then we can flip state legislatures, mayor’s offices, local commissions, and even school boards. We have seen even in small communities like Rehoboth Beach, Del., when we vote, we elected the first out lesbian mayor, Susan Stewart. In Key West, we elected a commissioner, Christopher Massicotte. Our votes, along with so many other decent people, do make a real difference.
It is not only electing members of the LGBTQ community. It is electing those who will have our backs, and fight for us. We must support, and vote for, candidates who will have our backs and fight against the homophobia, and vicious attacks, on our community by today’s MAGA version of the Republican Party. While the numbers vary, there have been more than 500 anti-LGBTQ bills filed in state legislatures thus far in 2026. I may have missed something, but as far as I know the felon’s administration has not opposed any of them. They have endorsed a host of them through their words and actions.
So, I beg you, as a member of the LGBTQ community, and someone who believes in equal rights, and human rights, for all; please vote. Make the effort to get all your friends and family that support you, to vote as well. Martin Luther King, Jr., who I had the honor of meeting and taking with, once told me “Each one of us can make a difference.” This is your chance!
Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist.
-
Virginia4 days agoGay Va. couple hopeful voters will enshrine marriage equality in state constitution
-
LGBTQ Non-Profit Organizations4 days agoVictory Fund board investigates former staffers’ allegations against CEO Evan Low
-
Opinions4 days agoLGBTQ community must vote in big numbers
-
Opinions4 days agoThe right to be an ordinary transgender man
