Financial
State of the American family
LGBT families well positioned to achieve financial success
By MICHAEL GLASSMAN
American families have weathered economic shifts, but the downturn of 2008 has affected families’ finances, and their relationships to their finances, in unforeseen ways. Families of all kinds are working hard to balance their many long-term expenses.
LGBT families face the same struggles that all American families are currently facing: the need to provide for their children’s education, managing their finances, taking care of family members, all while trying to save and plan for their own retirement.
In an effort to better understand what families are most concerned with, Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Company (MassMutual) completed the second nationwide study in its State of the American Family series. This was conducted by Forbes Consulting Group.
The research reveals that while LGBT families share some similar concerns with the general population, this community is well poised to achieve financial success.
The survey involved a 20-minute online questionnaire administered to 1,143 respondents. The sample included parents, ages 30-64, with household income of $100,000 or more. LGBT families as a group are in a relatively strong financial position with an average household income of $162,000 and average savings and investable assets of $285,000. When real estate and business interests are included, the value of their assets rises to $440,000.
Ninety-five percent of those surveyed say their spouse/domestic partner contributes financially to household expenses (vs. 79 percent of the total population) and 21 percent of those surveyed work two jobs (vs. 9 percent of the total population).
Reflecting the recently enacted same-sex marriage laws in some states, 40 percent of surveyed LGBT families are legally married; 60 percent have legally recognized domestic partnerships (primarily through civil unions). Although they are less likely to have combined all their finances (43 percent vs. 62 percent general population), they are more likely to make financial decisions jointly (58 percent vs. 50 percent general population)
Many LGBT families (40 percent vs. 34 percent general population) feel they are expected to take care of their parents when they no longer can take care of themselves. As a group, LGBT families are significantly more involved in assisting their parents and in-laws:
33 percent are primarily responsible for managing parent’s or in-laws finances (vs. 21 percent general population)
23 percent currently providing hands-on personal care assistance to parent/in-law (vs. 9 percent general population)
36 percent currently providing hands-on routine chores for parents/in-laws (vs. 23 percent general population).
Feelings about finance and financial literacy
LGBT focus for planning for the future is underscored by their higher rates of ownership of long-term planning products.
• 69 percent own mutual funds (vs. 51 percent general population)
• 95 percent own a retirement account (vs. 86 percent general population)
• 26 percent own annuities (vs. 17 percent general population)
• 35 percent own long-term care insurance (vs. 23 percent general population)
This pattern is consistent with their attitude toward planning: 69 percent say they try to influence the future with their day-to-day behavior (vs. 50 percent general population)
Despite their better than average financial situation, LGBT parents are less likely to give themselves credit for planning ahead:
• 34 percent say they should be doing more to save for the future but right now are struggling to get by (vs. 22 percent general population)
• 47 percent say that investing and financial planning should be a higher priority (vs. 33 percent general population)
Accordingly, LGBT parents tend to be particularly proactive with regard to personal finance.
While parents want to help pay for their children’s education, 57 percent of LGBT families believe that saving for their children’s college education is important to them so they can live the “American dream.” However, in order to make their children’s education vision a reality, parents will need to place a greater emphasis on long-term planning:
• 42 percent say they know they should be saving for their child’s education but they don’t have the money to invest now (vs. 24 percent general population)
Plans for retirement
LGBT families place a greater emphasis on traveling during their retirement years than do Americans as a whole. Consistent with the American population overall, the majority of LGBT families (61 percent) feel that financial security for retirement is an individual’s responsibility. Accordingly, 71 percent have estimated the amount of savings needed for retirement (vs. 65 percent general population). More than one third (36 percent) are confident they are doing a good job of preparing for retirement (vs. 30 percent general population), yet 49 percent worry about outliving their retirement savings (vs. 30 percent general population), consistent with their long-term focus.
LGBT respondents assume that personal savings will contribute a smaller share of their retirement income, and are twice as likely to believe that they will definitely work in retirement (34 percent vs. 17 percent general population).
MassMutual has been helping customers with their financial needs for more than 160 years. As a mutual company, we focus on providing long-term value for our policyholders. We have always believed that good decisions are the foundation of every sound and secure financial future. We also believe when choosing a company to work with, ownership, strength and stability matter.
Michael Glassman is a registered representative of and offers securities through MML Investors Services, LLC, member SIPC. Reach him at 301-581-7277 or [email protected].
Real Estate
When buying a home, it’s decisions, decisions, decisions
Keeping notes on the process makes for an informed purchase
When looking to buy a home, there are lots of details to consider. Many of my clients would come to me and say, “Joe I want to buy a place, but I haven’t decided which neighborhood to buy in.” And the struggle was real. A few clients had everything decided from the color of the hallway walls to the cabinet handles and sometimes which three square blocks they wanted to look at.
But other clients were occasionally looking at properties in areas as distinct as Union Market/NOMA, Brookland, Logan Circle, and then we would even go across the river to look at a property in Shirlington or the Van Dorn areas of Virginia, which all have their own unique flavor and characteristics.
Sometimes clients would tell me, “I only want to look in Mount Pleasant or Adams Morgan.” Or, “don’t even show me any properties west of this street or south of that street.” My job wasn’t to convince people where to live. It was to just take the parameters they set for me and find as good of a property in that zone as I could, coordinate the showings and, if necessary, offer the strategy.
One can see that buyers often had more decisions to make than a seller. From a seller’s perspective, the house was where it was, and we just had to make the best of it. But working with a buyer could mean looking at five different neighborhoods, and then being a “thought partner” to help them figure out which were the top two or three areas they had seen, and then further distilling those down into what was available and weighing those options against each other.
One house could have the dream bathroom but also be located six blocks further from a Metro stop, walkable shopping and dining, and “just too far away from my friends.” Another house could have all the neighborhood options a client was looking for, but was just not in turnkey condition, and would require an additional $30,000 of upgrades once purchased to make it into the dream home they envisioned.
One activity I often asked buyers to do was to keep an active list in their heads of the properties they liked, and to keep a running rank of the top three. I often encouraged them to bring a notebook along on the journey where they could take notes and write down questions they thought of as they looked. It was an important decision, and sometimes the largest purchase of their lives. Why not take it a little seriously, and take notes? This could often help the buyer later when they felt it was time to decide.
The point here is, keeping a notebook handy can sometimes help a person with what feels like an overwhelming process. It provides a space to explore how one feels, jot down important details to remember, and then use that to make an informed decision.
Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with RLAH. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].
Real Estate
Under-the-radar Delaware beach towns smart buyers are targeting
There are other options if Rehoboth prices are scaring you off
Look, we love Rehoboth. We will always love Rehoboth. Queer folks have been flocking there since the 1940s, and with scores of LGBTQ-owned businesses and a Pride calendar packed tighter than the boardwalk in July, “Rehomo” earned its crown fair and square.
But let’s be honest with each other: trying to buy property there right now feels a lot like trying to get a reservation at the one good restaurant in town on a Saturday in August. Everyone wants in, inventory is tighter than your swim trunks after Labor Day brunch, and the prices have officially entered “are you kidding me” territory.
So here’s a thought: What if you didn’t fight the crowd? What if, instead, you let Rehoboth keep doing its glorious, chaotic, glitter-bomb thing and you quietly built your beach life 15 minutes away for considerably less drama and considerably more square footage? Here are four towns ready for their close-up.
Lewes: The Charming Overachiever
Lewes is what happens when a beach town actually has its life together. Historic charm, walkability, proximity to Cape Henlopen State Park, less crowding, and a strong year-round community. Unlike towns that turn into ghost towns after Labor Day, Lewes maintains a real community all year long, which is more than we can say for some situationships.
And right now, the market is practically begging you to make a move. It’s one of the most desirable and stable markets in the county — built for buyers thinking long-term, not flippers, and Sussex County overall has flipped into genuine buyer’s market territory for the first time in years. Translation: you finally get to be the one with leverage.
Bethany Beach: My Personal Pick
Full disclosure: I own in Bethany. So consider this section a little biased — and also the most honest thing I’ll tell you in this whole article.
When I drive down from D.C., I’m not looking for more of D.C. I love this city, but I also love leaving it — and yes, some of the people in it too (you know who you are, and so do I). Bethany gives me that full exhale. It’s quiet in the way that actually means something: fewer crowds, slower mornings, a soundtrack that’s mostly waves instead of nightlife. It leans hard into its “quiet resort” reputation, with low property taxes and a limited geographic footprint, and it is not the least bit sorry about it.
But quiet doesn’t mean isolated. I’ve got a genuinely excellent food scene nearby, real shopping, and a string of charming neighboring beach towns — and when I do want a taste of Rehoboth’s energy, it’s a short, easy drive away. I get to choose my dose of chaos instead of living inside it.
And here’s the part that matters most for this article: the price. If you’ve looked at Rehoboth listings and quietly closed the tab in despair, I need you to hear this — you can absolutely afford a beach house. It just doesn’t have to be in Rehoboth. Bethany’s average home value sits around $848,592, which is still real money, no question — but it buys you more house, more land, and more peace than the same budget gets you closer to the boardwalk. Bethany is welcoming too, just without Rehoboth’s decades of built-in queer institutional history — and for plenty of us, that trade-off is more than worth it.
Fenwick Island: Small Town, Big Flex
Fenwick rarely gets mentioned and, frankly, it should be insulted. It’s tiny, it’s quiet, and it has beach access without the carnival energy. The market data tends to lump it in with Bethany, where single-family oceanfront homes clear $1 million while entry-level condos start in the $600s — proof that “under-the-radar” doesn’t mean “bargain bin,” it means “fewer people fighting you for it.”
South Bethany: For the Boat Gays
Some of us want sand between our toes. Others want a private dock and a boat named something deeply unserious. South Bethany’s canal communities are built for the latter — water access on both sides, fewer crowds, and a lifestyle that says, “I have a captain’s hat and I am not afraid to wear it.”
The Math Works in Your Favor Now
Here’s the part that should really get your attention: Sussex County’s median sold price has dropped to $440,000, down 3.3% year-over-year, and buyers are routinely closing around 88 cents on the dollar compared to asking price. That’s a far cry from the unhinged bidding wars of 2021 and 2022, when overpaying was basically a competitive sport. Inventory across the county sits at nearly 2,500 active listings — the most of any county in Delaware, meaning you actually get to be picky for once. Revolutionary, we know.
And no, choosing one of these towns doesn’t mean leaving your people behind. Sussex Pride serves the entire county, not just Rehoboth proper, and CAMP Rehoboth’s resources extend well beyond town limits too. You’re not exiling yourself to the suburbs of queerness — you’re just getting a bigger kitchen, a quieter porch, and a much shorter line for the bathroom.
Add in the fact that Delaware has no estate tax and some of the lowest property taxes around, savings that genuinely add up over a retirement horizon, and the case writes itself. Rehoboth will always be the beating, sequined heart of queer beach culture in Delaware. But if you’ve been telling yourself a beach house isn’t in the cards — I’m here to tell you it absolutely is. It just might be 15 minutes south, with your own quiet porch, your own salt air, and considerably more room to breathe.
Have a real estate question or Rehoboth market tip? Reach out to [email protected] for LGBTQ-friendly real estate resources in the Rehoboth area.
Justin Noble is a Realtor licensed in D.C., Maryland, and Delaware with Monument Sotheby’s International Realty. Reach him at [email protected] or 302-897-7499.
Real Estate
‘Culture eats strategy for breakfast’
Real estate agents must adapt, learn how to manage from within
“Culture Eats Strategy for Breakfast” was a phrase often repeated in many of my management courses from the University of Illinois. The concept was discussed at length – how the best laid plans can sometimes be supported or derailed by the culture of the people involved in whichever project to be implemented. Whether it be a project to implement new software, roll out a new product or service, or just reaching a sales target, the way the team involved works together can indeed affect the outcome.
Perhaps this is just another way to say, “teamwork makes the dream work!” Most teams usually have someone who is designated as a leader. The leader can try to lead through authority and control or can alternatively try to lead through influence and encouraging a more collective framework for solving problems.
Why does this matter when picking the right real estate agent or team to work with? Besides having a job as a salesperson for the brokerage, the real estate agent is contractually bound to act on their client’s behalf. The buyer broker agreement is in place so that the agent and the client can work together as a team in communications regarding offer strategy, during negotiations, implementing marketing plans, as well as selecting which renovations or upgrades to choose before selling a property. After the property goes under contract, the job isn’t “done”. There is still work to do.
At this point, the agents then turn into a project manager of sorts – coordinating communications between the lending team, the title attorneys, the other client’s agents, any governmental agencies that could be involved in down payment assistance or helping to clear a property for a sale, and often times groups like a condo board, a home inspector, or contractors when arranging repairs and estimates before a final walk through.
In short, the agent takes on somewhat of a “leadership role” in the transaction and ensures that all the ducks stay in a row until the project is complete. That agent will hopefully be very fluid and forthcoming with their information, copying the required parties on all communications and creating a “paper trail” of who said what or didn’t offer to fix A, B, or C, so that all the minutiae of the contract can be addressed and fulfilled before the settlement date. The agent often must wear many hats and quickly learn the communication styles of an entire new set of people in a short period. One person may not return calls for a week after being contacted. Another person may go on vacation at the beginning of the process and not return emails for two weeks. Another person may wish to have daily updates of the progress of the process.
In this way – an agent quickly learns in each transaction that “culture can eat strategy for breakfast.” Because the agent must adapt to a wide variety of communication styles, learn how to “manage from within”, build support for closing the project by the due date, and somehow keep all the interested parties invested, engaged, and responsive.
Who you work with matters when picking the right person to represent you in your next transaction – so, just remember that “teamwork makes the dream work!”
Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with RLAH. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].
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