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Queery: Fred Sainz

The HRC marketing/communications director answers 20 gay questions

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Fred Sainz, HRC, Human Rights Campaign, gay news, Queery
Fred Sainz, HRC, Human Rights Campaign, gay news, Queery

Fred Sainz (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

It’s not a particularly good time to ask Fred Sainz about the Human Rights Campaign National Dinner.

It’s a weekday morning just days before the annual event and he, like many at the LGBT rights organization, is bogged down in details and logistics.

“It’s almost like giving birth,” he says. “You know, it’s an incredibly exciting event but you kind of can’t wait for it to be over too.”

The event is Saturday evening at the Convention Center (801 Mt. Vernon Place N.W.) and is sold out. Newark Mayor Cory A. Booker, NAACP President Ben Jealous and actress Sally Field are slated to appear. A troupe from Cirque du Soleil will perform. About 3,000 are expected. Details are at hrcnationaldinner.org.

Sainz came to HRC about two-and-a-half years ago and works as vice president of communications and marketing. The 44-year-old Miami-area native says it’s been satisfying work.

“It’s really been the privilege of a lifetime to be able to do this work and a special honor to be able to work here at this time in the movement’s history,” he says. “I arrived one week before the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ repeal bill dropped in May 2010 so it has been a roller coaster and truly one of the greatest experiences of my life.”

Sainz, a former Republican, went to school in Washington, served in the first Bush White House, then moved to San Diego to work on the ’96 Republican National Convention. He stayed there working at various jobs over the next 14 years before going to Denver where he spent two years working at the Gill Foundation, which he says was “amazing” and prepared him for his position at HRC.

Sainz is “dating someone special” but doesn’t go into details. He lives in Washington and enjoys working out, movies and traveling in his free time.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell? 

I’ve been out since I was 28 years old and I’m now 44 so it’s been 16 years. My father was the hardest to tell. He and I haven’t spoken since I came out.

Who’s your LGBT hero?

Harvey Milk

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present? 

I’m boring so I don’t really know of many but I love Town for Bear Happy Hour on Friday nights.

Describe your dream wedding.

I think weddings (not marriage, but weddings) suck up a lot of money and create unnecessary anxiety. I think a city hall marriage with people that you are close to is preferable.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

Virtually any social justice issue.

What historical outcome would you change?

Castro’s takeover of Cuba in 1959. My parents immigrated to this country from Cuba. Imagine leaving the country of your birth and immigrating to another country, virtually penniless and without speaking the language at 28 years old; that’s what they did. In search of better lives and to be free from oppression, they came to the U.S.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

The release of Madonna’s first album.

On what do you insist?

Honesty and straightforwardness.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

About HRC’s National Dinner this Saturday.

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“The Indignity of Being a Dog”

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

Nothing. I love being gay. I believe that God created me this way.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world? 

I believe in Karma. Do right unto others because if not, a higher life force has a sense of humor.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

Make every decision through the lens of young people and you’ll be doing the right thing.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

A vodka/cran on a Friday night.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

That all gay men are funny, like Jack from “Will & Grace.”

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

“The Birdcage”

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Putting up the toilet seat. Why?

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

“Jeopardy!” champion.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

Me at 44.

Why Washington?

It’s the nation’s capital and where laws that change our lives will be passed.

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Calendar

Calendar: January 9-15

LGBTQ events in the days to come

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Friday, January 9

Women in Their Twenties and Thirties will be at 8 p.m. on Zoom. This is a social discussion group for queer women in the Washington, D.C. area. For more details, visit Facebook

“Backbone Comedy” will be at 8 p.m. at As You Are. Backbone Comedy is a queer-run fundraiser comedy show at As You Are Bar DC, where comics stand up for a cause. Each show, a percentage of proceeds go to a local organization – Free Minds DC, a reentry organization for individuals impacted by incarceration. Tickets cost $19.98 and are available on Eventbrite.

Saturday, January 10

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation.  Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Monday, January 12

“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).

Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary, whether you’re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that you’re not 100% cis. For more details, visit genderqueerdc.org or Facebook.

Tuesday, January 13

Coming Out Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a safe space to share experiences about coming out and discuss topics as it relates to doing so — by sharing struggles and victories the group allows those newly coming out and who have been out for a while to learn from others. For more details, visit the group’s Facebook

Trans Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This group is intended to provide an emotionally and physically safe space for trans people and those who may be questioning their gender identity/expression to join together in community and learn from one another. For more details, email [email protected]

Wednesday, January 14

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.

The DC Center for the LGBT Community will partner with House of Ruth to host “Art & Conversation” at 3 p.m. at 1827 Wiltberger St., N.W. This free workshop will involve two hours of art making, conversation, and community. Guests will explore elements of healthy relationships with a community-centered art activity.  This workshop involves paint, so please dress accordingly. All materials will be provided. For more details, email [email protected]

Thursday, January 15

The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245. 

Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breathwork and meditation that allows LGBTQ+ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.  

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Movies

‘Hedda’ brings queer visibility to Golden Globes

Tessa Thompson up for Best Actress for new take on Ibsen classic

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Tessa Thompson is nominated for Best Performance by a Female Actor in a motion picture for ‘Hedda’ at Sunday’s Golden Globes. (Image courtesy IMDB)

The 83rd annual Golden Globes awards are set for Sunday (CBS, 8 p.m. EST). One of the many bright spots this awards season is “Hedda,” a unique LGBTQ version of the classic Henrik Ibsen story, “Hedda Gabler,” starring powerhouses Nina Hoss, Tessa Thompson and Imogen Poots. A modern reinterpretation of a timeless story, the film and its cast have already received several nominations this awards season, including a Globes nod for Best Actress for Thompson.

Writer/director Nia DaCosta was fascinated by Ibsen’s play and the enigmatic character of the deeply complex Hedda, who in the original, is stuck in a marriage she doesn’t want, and still is drawn to her former lover, Eilert. 

But in DaCosta’s adaptation, there’s a fundamental difference: Eilert is being played by Hoss, and is now named Eileen.

“That name change adds this element of queerness to the story as well,” said DaCosta at a recent Golden Globes press event. “And although some people read the original play as Hedda being queer, which I find interesting, which I didn’t necessarily…it was a side effect in my movie that everyone was queer once I changed Eilert to a woman.”

She added: “But it still, for me, stayed true to the original because I was staying true to all the themes and the feelings and the sort of muckiness that I love so much about the original work.”

Thompson, who is bisexual, enjoyed playing this new version of Hedda, noting that the queer love storyline gave the film “a whole lot of knockoff effects.”

“But I think more than that, I think fundamentally something that it does is give Hedda a real foil. Another woman who’s in the world who’s making very different choices. And I think this is a film that wants to explore that piece more than Ibsen’s.”

DaCosta making it a queer story “made that kind of jump off the page and get under my skin in a way that felt really immediate,” Thompson acknowledged.

“It wants to explore sort of pathways to personhood and gaining sort of agency over one’s life. In the original piece, you have Hedda saying, ‘for once, I want to be in control of a man’s destiny,’” said Thompson.

“And I think in our piece, you see a woman struggling with trying to be in control of her own. And I thought that sort of mind, what is in the original material, but made it just, for me, make sense as a modern woman now.” 

It is because of Hedda’s jealousy and envy of Eileen and her new girlfriend (Poots) that we see the character make impulsive moves.

“I think to a modern sensibility, the idea of a woman being quite jealous of another woman and acting out on that is really something that there’s not a lot of patience or grace for that in the world that we live in now,” said Thompson.

“Which I appreciate. But I do think there is something really generative. What I discovered with playing Hedda is, if it’s not left unchecked, there’s something very generative about feelings like envy and jealousy, because they point us in the direction of self. They help us understand the kind of lives that we want to live.”

Hoss actually played Hedda on stage in Berlin for several years previously.

“When I read the script, I was so surprised and mesmerized by what this decision did that there’s an Eileen instead of an Ejlert Lovborg,” said Hoss. “I was so drawn to this woman immediately.”

The deep love that is still there between Hedda and Eileen was immediately evident, as soon as the characters meet onscreen.

“If she is able to have this emotion with Eileen’s eyes, I think she isn’t yet because she doesn’t want to be vulnerable,” said Hoss. “So she doesn’t allow herself to feel that because then she could get hurt. And that’s something Eileen never got through to. So that’s the deep sadness within Eileen that she couldn’t make her feel the love, but at least these two when they meet, you feel like, ‘Oh my God, it’s not yet done with those two.’’’

Onscreen and offscreen, Thompson and Hoss loved working with each other.

“She did such great, strong choices…I looked at her transforming, which was somewhat mesmerizing, and she was really dangerous,” Hoss enthused. “It’s like when she was Hedda, I was a little bit like, but on the other hand, of course, fascinated. And that’s the thing that these humans have that are slightly dangerous. They’re also very fascinating.”

Hoss said that’s what drew Eileen to Hedda.  

“I think both women want to change each other, but actually how they are is what attracts them to each other. And they’re very complimentary in that sense. So they would make up a great couple, I would believe. But the way they are right now, they’re just not good for each other. So in a way, that’s what we were talking about. I think we thought, ‘well, the background story must have been something like a chaotic, wonderful, just exploring for the first time, being in love, being out of society, doing something slightly dangerous, hidden, and then not so hidden because they would enter the Bohemian world where it was kind of okay to be queer and to celebrate yourself and to explore it.’”

But up to a certain point, because Eileen started working and was really after, ‘This is what I want to do. I want to publish, I want to become someone in the academic world,’” noted Hoss.

Poots has had her hands full playing Eileen’s love interest as she also starred in the complicated drama, “The Chronology of Water” (based on the memoir by Lydia Yuknavitch and directed by queer actress Kristen Stewart).

“Because the character in ‘Hedda’ is the only person in that triptych of women who’s acting on her impulses, despite the fact she’s incredibly, seemingly fragile, she’s the only one who has the ability to move through cowardice,” Poots acknowledged. “And that’s an interesting thing.”

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Arts & Entertainment

2026 Most Eligible LGBTQ Singles nominations

We are looking for the most eligible LGBTQ singles in the Washington, D.C. region.

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We are looking for the most eligible LGBTQ singles in the Washington, D.C. region.

Are you or a friend looking to find a little love in 2026? We are looking for the most eligible LGBTQ singles in the Washington, D.C. region. Nominate you or your friends until January 23rd using the form below or by clicking HERE.

Our most eligible singles will be announced online in February. View our 2025 singles HERE.

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