National
DOD computer glitch delays benefits for gay spouses
‘If I should die now, my wife is out of luck’
Defense Department (DOD) computers are encountering problems in registering same-sex partners for military benefits in the wake of the Supreme Court ruling striking down a key provision of DOMA. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
Kelly Egan, a retired chief master sergeant who served 20 years in the Air Force, says she watched with great interest in June when the U.S. Supreme Court overturned a key provision of the Defense of Marriage Act, or DOMA.
With the White House and Pentagon announcing that the government would move quickly to ensure that same-sex spouses of federal civilian and military personnel would be eligible for full spousal benefits that had long been denied under DOMA, Egan says she took steps to add her wife as a beneficiary for her military survivor benefit program.
Much to her disappointment, Egan says, her application for the benefit for her wife was denied – not by the military officials with whom she spoke but by the Defense Enrollment and Eligibility Reporting System, or DEERS, a massive computerized database system operated by the Department of Defense.
“The whole screen went black,” Egan told the Blade in describing what happened when a polite benefits clerk at the Pentagon entered her application into a computer terminal. According to Egan, the computer glitch was triggered by the fact that she and her spouse are of the same gender.
“They told me they hope to get this fixed in September,” Egan said. “They said it’s a software issue. But if I should die now, my wife is out of luck.”
Egan said she was told that the same problem is surfacing for active duty and retired military members who are applying for benefits for same-sex spouses both in the U.S. and in military installations overseas.
“The Department of Defense is working alongside the Department of Justice to implement the Court’s decision as quickly as possible,” said Lt. Commander Nate Christensen, a DOD spokesperson, in an email to the Blade. “At this time no decisions have been made,” he said.
A representative of the DEERS system’s regional office that processes benefits for D.C.-area military personnel and military retirees said the office would arrange for a spokesperson to discuss the issue of processing same-sex benefit requests. A spokesperson did not immediately respond.
Egan said the civilian staff member with whom she spoke at the Pentagon and another civilian staffer she visited at the U.S. Army base at Fort Myers in Arlington, Va., were cordial and expressed considerable interest in helping her. But she said they were unable to override the DEERS system’s computer program that steadfastly denied her application for the survivor benefit for her spouse.
“I went to Fort Myers first because the DEERS system can be accessed at any base,” she said. “The guy there was very nice and invited me to sit down. When I told him what I needed the first thing he said was, ‘Where is your husband.’” Egan recounted.
“I said, well, it’s my wife. And he said, OK, great. You’re the first one to come in for that.”
However, like the clerk at the Pentagon, the Fort Myers staffer could not get past the DEERS system block in processing a same-sex spouse.
David McKean, an attorney and former legal director for OutServe-Service Members Legal Defense Network, a group that has assisted LGBT military members, said DOD officials told him six weeks ago that DOD was working hard to fix the problem.
“It is the single point of entry to be qualified for all military benefits,” McKean said of DEERS. “In order to get an I.D. card, in order to have your spouse to qualify for housing or to get health insurance – all that stuff – requires registration in DEERS,” he said.
“And the DEERS system, when you enter your [same-sex] spouse and show your marriage license, as you’re required to do, you get an error message,” he said. “As far as I can tell, this is the only barrier to extending same-sex spouse benefits in the military.”
McKean said he was hopeful that DOD officials, who are aware of the problem, can fix it soon. He said DOD officials told him that people like Kelly Egan and other retired or active duty military members, will have their benefits back dated to June 26, the day the Supreme Court issued its DOMA decision, once the computer programs are corrected.
National
BREAKING NEWS: Shots fired at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner
Shooter reportedly opened fire inside hotel
Four loud bangs were heard in the International Ballroom of the Washington Hilton during the annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner on Saturday.
According to the Associated Press, a shooter opened fire inside the hotel outside the ballroom.
Attendees could hear four loud bangs as people started to duck and take cover. During the chaos sounds of salad and glasses were dropped as hotel employees, and guests ducked for cover.
The head table — which included President Donald Trump, Vice President JD Vance, first lady Melania Trump, and White House Correspondents Association President Weijia Jiang — were rushed off stage.
“The U.S. Secret Service, in coordination with the Metropolitan Police Department, is investigating a shooting incident near the main magnetometer screening area at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner,” the U.S. Secret Service said in a statement. “The president and the First Lady are safe along all protects. One individual is in custody. The condition of those involved is not yet known, and law enforcement is actively assessing the situation.”
Trump is expected to hold a press conference at the White House shortly.
The Washington Blade will update this story as details become more available.
State Department
State Department implements anti-trans bathroom policy
Memo notes directive corresponds with White House executive order
The State Department on April 20 announced employees cannot use bathrooms that correspond with their gender identity.
The Daily Signal, a conservative news website, reported the State Department announced the new policy in a memo titled “Updates Regarding Biological Sex and Intimate Spaces, Including Restrooms.”
The State Department has not responded to the Washington Blade’s request for comment on the directive.
“The administration affirms that there are two sexes — male and female — and that federal facilities should operate on this objective and longstanding basis to ensure consistency, privacy, and safety in shared spaces,” State Department spokesperson Tommy Piggot told the Daily Signal. “In line with President Trump’s executive order this provides clear, uniform guidance to the department by grounding policy in biological sex as determined at birth.”
President Donald Trump shortly after he took office in January 2025 issued an executive order that directed the federal government to only recognize two genders: male and female. The sweeping directive also ordered federal government agencies to “effectuate this policy by taking appropriate action to ensure that intimate spaces designated for women, girls, or females (or for men, boys, or males) are designated by sex and not identity.”
The Daily Signal notes the new State Department policy “does not prohibit single-occupancy restrooms.”
National
I’m telling the scared little girl I once was it’s okay to feel free
This week is Lesbian Visibility Week
Uncloseted Media published this article on April 23.
By SOPHIE HOLLAND | At 13 years old, I remember looking in the mirror in my Toronto bathroom and thinking, “Yeah, I’m a lesbian.” At the time, I thought it was a dirty word. Thinking back, it could be because the first time I heard it was when a family member said, “I don’t know what a lesbian is, they are like aliens.”
And although I walked around in camouflage Crocs with a rainbow My Little Pony charm, plaid knee-length shorts and a shark tooth necklace (yes, these are all, in my opinion, stereotypically lesbian apparel!), I didn’t feel like I fit the mold. The longer I thought about it, the worse I felt, so I buried my feelings deep inside.
Now I am 25, and I have been out since I was 22. Three years ago, I never could have imagined that I’d be working for a queer news publication and celebrating Lesbian Visibility Week, an annual event meant to honor and uplift lesbian perspectives and highlight the hardships our community faces. To me, LVW is so important because, frankly, it has been an absolute shit show getting here, to a place where I feel love and joy most days.
I think back to the frustration of constantly being asked, “Do you have a boyfriend?” Of watching princess movies and seeing a broken girl only find herself when her prince charming arrives. I remember listening to music that was always about heterosexual relationships. I remember feeling left out in high school when, one by one, my friends got boyfriends.
I tried the boyfriend, and I tried really hard for it to work at a large detriment to my wellbeing. I brainwashed myself into thinking I was probably bisexual, which I told my closest friends around 16 and unsuccessfully told my parents at the same age. I was probably subconsciously using this as a litmus test of their acceptance and to soothe the anxiety I felt around my sexuality.
Learning to love who I am did not only come from me unraveling my internalized lesbophobia and dissecting the oppressive societal messages of heteronormativity. It came from meeting an awesome community of lesbians and queers. I found people who understood my worldview and who showed me the ropes. I no longer had to stutter over concepts like lesbian loneliness or my frustration with misogynistic straight men.
They all just got it.
Without this community, I am not sure if I could be as warm and confident in myself as I am today.
And while I still experience homophobia, like being spat on while walking with an ex in downtown Toronto or having a stranger yell in my face “Are you fucking lesbians?” in Kensington Market, the joy and love still outweighs the nasty.
So, as the sentimental dyke that I have become, I decided to ask a set of lesbians in my orbit — including my friends as well as Uncloseted staffers, board members and followers — if they would share a little bit about what makes them love being a lesbian. And now, I can share it with all of you. Here they are. Happy LVW!
Timi Sotire
Falling in love with her was a reset. I felt like a kid again, hopeful about the future. We’ve had to overcome many obstacles to be together, but I’d choose her in every lifetime. I was sick with a long-term health condition when we met, and hanging out with Sophia really helped me with my recovery after my surgery.
Bella Sayegh
Being a lesbian is one of the most beautiful things in the world. To be authentically yourself in resistance and joy is so special within the lesbian community.
Parker Wales
When I met Liv, I finally understood why almost every song is about love.
Gillian Kilgour
There is no connection quite as perfect as between lesbians, no one sees me like my lesbians do.
Chyna Price
There’s many things I love about being a lesbian. But here are my top three:
- There’s just a deeper understanding when it comes to being loved by another woman.
- The next one would be the sense of community, especially being a POC masculine-presenting lesbian. I don’t feel like I’m cosplaying as someone else like I felt like I was doing before I came out.
- There’s so much history going back to the 1800s on how we found and fought for our love. That fight makes me proud because it shows me … that we’ve [found] ways to express our love even when it was misunderstood, illegal and deemed as madness.
Hope Pisoni
Before I knew I was a lesbian, romantic relationships seemed suffocating — it felt like everyone would expect me to act my part in the meticulous performance that is heterosexuality. But meeting my spouse and discovering our identities together showed me just how freeing it could be to love without a script to follow.
Leital Molad
It was the joy of watching the New York Sirens defeat the Toronto Sceptres at our first professional women’s hockey game — surrounded by hundreds (maybe thousands?) of cheering lesbians.
Angela Earl
I spent years building a life that looked right. But I never felt settled, and eventually I started asking what would actually make me happy. Coming out was about more than who I love, it was letting go of everything I was told to be. The last few years have felt like coming home to a life that had been waiting for me.
Tali Bray
What I love about being a lesbian is what I love about being in love … the wonder and joy of “oh, this is what it’s supposed to feel like.” I love moving through the world with women.
Izzy Stokes
I didn’t fall in love until I realized that queerness was an option. My queer friends have helped me see so much more than I grew up seeing. I’m so proud of us, and I’m so grateful for my lesbian community.
Nandika Chatterjee
When I met my fiancée is when I started to feel most like myself. That meant loving myself for who I am and embracing my identity as a lesbian. I felt free in a way I have never before. That’s the long and short of it.
Liz Lucking
The love and joy of being a lesbian is getting to live the life I dreamed of but never thought I would get to have!
Reflections
As I read these beautiful entries, it’s not lost on me that we’re still living in a world where lesbians are more likely to struggle with maternity problems, fetishization, and compulsory heterosexuality — not to mention the intersectional pressures of racism from both inside and outside the queer community. That’s part of why, according to a 2024 survey, 22 percent of LGBTQ women have attempted suicide, and 66 percent have sought treatment for trauma.
So if you are a lesbian who isn’t out or doesn’t feel safe, I hope you read this and can glean some hope from these messages. So when you look in the mirror, you know that it’s okay to release the weight — which can feel so heavy — of a heteronormative world.
We still have a long fight until all lesbians can feel safe to be themselves, but this is a community that does not back away from the tough, from the joy, from being loud and from all the other things that it takes to start a small revolution.
Hell yeah, lesbians! Here’s to you.
*I am signing off with my cat on my lap and a pride flag over my head <3.
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