Living
LGBT books galore slated for spring release
Dozens and dozens of LGBT books — oceans more than any individual could possibly get to — are slated for spring. A few are available now. Among the highlights:
• “Lesbian Love” (Amazon Digital), an anthology of lesbian erotica by authors Elizabeth Coldwell, Beverly Langland, Sommer Marsden and others. Edited by Miranda Forbes. March 5.
• “Microagressions in Everyday Life: Race, Gender and Sexual Orientation” (Wiley) by Derald Wing Sue is an exploration of subtle, often unintentional biases in everyday life and the impact they have on members of traditionally disadvantaged groups. March 8.
• “Sinning in the Rain” (Melrose Books) by Nick Heddle is a novel set in the late ’20s about a young gay gopher at a major Hollywood movie studio who develops a new technique to ease the transition to talkies but has Nazis and a sinister gossip columnist on his heels. Gene and his handsome boyfriend Jamie battle opposition from many directions. March 8.
• “Assuming a Body: Transgender and Rhetorics of Materiality” (Columbia University Press) by Gayle Salamon explores issues of transgender embodiment through phenomenology, psychoanalysis and queer theory. March 15.
• “The Meaning of Gay: Interaction, Publicity and Community Among Homosexual Men in 1960s San Francisco” (Lexington Books) by J. Todd Ormsbee traces the conflicts among San Francisco’s gay men with the dominant society describing the broad range of meanings they came to ascribe to gays between 1962 and 1972. March 16.
• Look for local gay author Garrett Peck May 15 at the Gaithersburg Book Festival where he’ll speak about his book “The Prohibition Hangover: Alcohol in America from Demon Rum to Cult Cabernet” (www.prohibitionhangover.com), released last year.
• “The A to Z of Lesbian Literature” (Scarecrow Press) by Meredith Miller traces the history of lesbian lit through hundreds of cross-referenced dictionary entries on important writers such as Sappho, Colette, Mary Wollstonecraft and others who are less known. March 16.
• “Letting Go” (Bella Books) by Ann O’Leary is a novel about Laura, a 39-year-old uber-successful lesbian with her own advertising agency who is targeted by Kelly, a barhopping charmer used to getting what she wants and Kate, a commercial artist who has brains and talent and a secret crush on Laura. March 15.
• “Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning Teen Literature: a Guide to Reading Interests” (Libraries Unlimited) by Carlisle Webber is, as the title suggests, a guide to outstanding books for LGBT teens that includes fiction, nonfiction, poetry, graphic novels and more. March 30.
• “Hot Stuff: Disco and the Remaking of American Culture” (W.W. Norton & Co.) by Alice Echols explores how disco played a major role in broadening the social realms for blacks, feminists and gays and gave new spaces for gay men to mix in large crowds. March 29.
• “How to Be a Movie Star: Elizabeth Taylor in Hollywood” (Mariner Books), gay author William Mann’s bio of La Liz, comes out in paperback April 1.
• “Watch Us!” (Bruno Gmunder) by Jacob Mott is a gay erotica cartoon book featuring a mix of American bubblegum and Japanese Manga styles. April.
• “Female Force: Ellen DeGeneres” (Bluewater Productions) by Sandra Ruckdeschel is a quickie bio (just 32 pages) on America’s most famous lesbian superstar. March 31.
• “Are We Thinking Straight?: the Politics of Straightness in a Lesbian and Gay Social Movement Organization” (Routledge) by Daniel Cortese explores how the Straight and Gay Alliance (SAGA) strategically used a straight identity as a social movement tool. April 3.
• “Holy Terror: Lies the Christian Right Tells Us to Deny Gay, Lesbian and Transgender Equality” (Alyson Books) by Mel White is the paperback debut of White’s seminal book in which the gay author documents the 30-year war fundamentalist Christians have waged against gays. April 1.
• “The Songs of Hollywood” (Oxford University Press) by Philip Furia and Laurie Patterson is a photo-packed exploration of the use of song in film both in musicals and dramas. April 7.
• “Left in His Closet” (Tate Publishing) by Mary Krome explores the lives of straight women whose husbands left them for other men. April 13.
• “The Essential Gay Mystics” (Harper San Francisco), an anthology compiled by Andrew Harvey, features selections from 60 gay and lesbian writers who explore his theory that notions of sin and sex don’t have to be reconciled for gays and that gay sex is innately spiritual. April 30.
• “Ex-Gay No Way: Survival and Recovery from Religious Abuse” (Findhorn Press) by Jallen Rix, is a first-hand account of the author’s experience attending a Southern Baptist “ex-gay” ministry camp in his youth and how it confused him and ravaged his self-esteem. May 1.
• “The Harvey Milk Interviews: In His Own Words” (Vince Emery Productions) by Harvey Milk contains the texts of nearly 40 interviews the late gay iconoclast did for newspapers, radio and television in which he describes his life, struggles, strategies and dreams. Included are transcripts of three famous political debates Milk conducted with John Briggs and a DVD of a feature-length documentary showing previously unseen TV interviews. May 1.
• “Palm Tress on the Hudson: a True Story of the Mob, Judy Garland & Interior Decorating” (Square One Publishers) by Elliot Tiber is the prequel to his 2007 memoir “Taking Woodstock,” which was adapted for the screen by Ang Lee. June 15. Also look for Susie Boyt’s “My Judy Garland Life: a Memoir,” (Bloomsbury USA) in which the author tells of her Garland obsession and how it led her to meet Mickey Rooney and Liza Minnelli, on April 27.
• “She Looks Just Like You: a Memoir of (Nonbiological Lesbian) Motherhood” (Beacon Press) by Amie Klembnauer Miller is the author’s first-hand account of how she came to terms with the issues of confusion and mixed emotions when her lesbian partner conceived. May 1.
• “Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child” (Columbia University Press) by Michael LaSala presents the results of his research of 65 gay and lesbian children and their parents when they came out and offers advice for how other families in the same situation can better navigate feelings of depression, anxiety and grief. June 1.
• “Leave the Light On” (Central Recovery Press) by Jennifer Storm is a memoir in which the author shares her tale of alcohol and drugs, her recovery and how it intersected with childhood sexual abuse and her lesbianism. April.
Real Estate
Under-the-radar Delaware beach towns smart buyers are targeting
There are other options if Rehoboth prices are scaring you off
Look, we love Rehoboth. We will always love Rehoboth. Queer folks have been flocking there since the 1940s, and with scores of LGBTQ-owned businesses and a Pride calendar packed tighter than the boardwalk in July, “Rehomo” earned its crown fair and square.
But let’s be honest with each other: trying to buy property there right now feels a lot like trying to get a reservation at the one good restaurant in town on a Saturday in August. Everyone wants in, inventory is tighter than your swim trunks after Labor Day brunch, and the prices have officially entered “are you kidding me” territory.
So here’s a thought: What if you didn’t fight the crowd? What if, instead, you let Rehoboth keep doing its glorious, chaotic, glitter-bomb thing and you quietly built your beach life 15 minutes away for considerably less drama and considerably more square footage? Here are four towns ready for their close-up.
Lewes: The Charming Overachiever
Lewes is what happens when a beach town actually has its life together. Historic charm, walkability, proximity to Cape Henlopen State Park, less crowding, and a strong year-round community. Unlike towns that turn into ghost towns after Labor Day, Lewes maintains a real community all year long, which is more than we can say for some situationships.
And right now, the market is practically begging you to make a move. It’s one of the most desirable and stable markets in the county — built for buyers thinking long-term, not flippers, and Sussex County overall has flipped into genuine buyer’s market territory for the first time in years. Translation: you finally get to be the one with leverage.
Bethany Beach: My Personal Pick
Full disclosure: I own in Bethany. So consider this section a little biased — and also the most honest thing I’ll tell you in this whole article.
When I drive down from D.C., I’m not looking for more of D.C. I love this city, but I also love leaving it — and yes, some of the people in it too (you know who you are, and so do I). Bethany gives me that full exhale. It’s quiet in the way that actually means something: fewer crowds, slower mornings, a soundtrack that’s mostly waves instead of nightlife. It leans hard into its “quiet resort” reputation, with low property taxes and a limited geographic footprint, and it is not the least bit sorry about it.
But quiet doesn’t mean isolated. I’ve got a genuinely excellent food scene nearby, real shopping, and a string of charming neighboring beach towns — and when I do want a taste of Rehoboth’s energy, it’s a short, easy drive away. I get to choose my dose of chaos instead of living inside it.
And here’s the part that matters most for this article: the price. If you’ve looked at Rehoboth listings and quietly closed the tab in despair, I need you to hear this — you can absolutely afford a beach house. It just doesn’t have to be in Rehoboth. Bethany’s average home value sits around $848,592, which is still real money, no question — but it buys you more house, more land, and more peace than the same budget gets you closer to the boardwalk. Bethany is welcoming too, just without Rehoboth’s decades of built-in queer institutional history — and for plenty of us, that trade-off is more than worth it.
Fenwick Island: Small Town, Big Flex
Fenwick rarely gets mentioned and, frankly, it should be insulted. It’s tiny, it’s quiet, and it has beach access without the carnival energy. The market data tends to lump it in with Bethany, where single-family oceanfront homes clear $1 million while entry-level condos start in the $600s — proof that “under-the-radar” doesn’t mean “bargain bin,” it means “fewer people fighting you for it.”
South Bethany: For the Boat Gays
Some of us want sand between our toes. Others want a private dock and a boat named something deeply unserious. South Bethany’s canal communities are built for the latter — water access on both sides, fewer crowds, and a lifestyle that says, “I have a captain’s hat and I am not afraid to wear it.”
The Math Works in Your Favor Now
Here’s the part that should really get your attention: Sussex County’s median sold price has dropped to $440,000, down 3.3% year-over-year, and buyers are routinely closing around 88 cents on the dollar compared to asking price. That’s a far cry from the unhinged bidding wars of 2021 and 2022, when overpaying was basically a competitive sport. Inventory across the county sits at nearly 2,500 active listings — the most of any county in Delaware, meaning you actually get to be picky for once. Revolutionary, we know.
And no, choosing one of these towns doesn’t mean leaving your people behind. Sussex Pride serves the entire county, not just Rehoboth proper, and CAMP Rehoboth’s resources extend well beyond town limits too. You’re not exiling yourself to the suburbs of queerness — you’re just getting a bigger kitchen, a quieter porch, and a much shorter line for the bathroom.
Add in the fact that Delaware has no estate tax and some of the lowest property taxes around, savings that genuinely add up over a retirement horizon, and the case writes itself. Rehoboth will always be the beating, sequined heart of queer beach culture in Delaware. But if you’ve been telling yourself a beach house isn’t in the cards — I’m here to tell you it absolutely is. It just might be 15 minutes south, with your own quiet porch, your own salt air, and considerably more room to breathe.
Have a real estate question or Rehoboth market tip? Reach out to [email protected] for LGBTQ-friendly real estate resources in the Rehoboth area.
Justin Noble is a Realtor licensed in D.C., Maryland, and Delaware with Monument Sotheby’s International Realty. Reach him at [email protected] or 302-897-7499.
Real Estate
‘Culture eats strategy for breakfast’
Real estate agents must adapt, learn how to manage from within
“Culture Eats Strategy for Breakfast” was a phrase often repeated in many of my management courses from the University of Illinois. The concept was discussed at length – how the best laid plans can sometimes be supported or derailed by the culture of the people involved in whichever project to be implemented. Whether it be a project to implement new software, roll out a new product or service, or just reaching a sales target, the way the team involved works together can indeed affect the outcome.
Perhaps this is just another way to say, “teamwork makes the dream work!” Most teams usually have someone who is designated as a leader. The leader can try to lead through authority and control or can alternatively try to lead through influence and encouraging a more collective framework for solving problems.
Why does this matter when picking the right real estate agent or team to work with? Besides having a job as a salesperson for the brokerage, the real estate agent is contractually bound to act on their client’s behalf. The buyer broker agreement is in place so that the agent and the client can work together as a team in communications regarding offer strategy, during negotiations, implementing marketing plans, as well as selecting which renovations or upgrades to choose before selling a property. After the property goes under contract, the job isn’t “done”. There is still work to do.
At this point, the agents then turn into a project manager of sorts – coordinating communications between the lending team, the title attorneys, the other client’s agents, any governmental agencies that could be involved in down payment assistance or helping to clear a property for a sale, and often times groups like a condo board, a home inspector, or contractors when arranging repairs and estimates before a final walk through.
In short, the agent takes on somewhat of a “leadership role” in the transaction and ensures that all the ducks stay in a row until the project is complete. That agent will hopefully be very fluid and forthcoming with their information, copying the required parties on all communications and creating a “paper trail” of who said what or didn’t offer to fix A, B, or C, so that all the minutiae of the contract can be addressed and fulfilled before the settlement date. The agent often must wear many hats and quickly learn the communication styles of an entire new set of people in a short period. One person may not return calls for a week after being contacted. Another person may go on vacation at the beginning of the process and not return emails for two weeks. Another person may wish to have daily updates of the progress of the process.
In this way – an agent quickly learns in each transaction that “culture can eat strategy for breakfast.” Because the agent must adapt to a wide variety of communication styles, learn how to “manage from within”, build support for closing the project by the due date, and somehow keep all the interested parties invested, engaged, and responsive.
Who you work with matters when picking the right person to represent you in your next transaction – so, just remember that “teamwork makes the dream work!”
Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with RLAH. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].
Dear Michael,
I’ve been dating Mark for three years, living together for two, and I’m not sure he’s for me. We get along great but I’m questioning how attracted I am to him.
I was never crazy about him physically but he was such a sweet and smart guy that I wanted to date him.
Sex was never mind-blowing and the longer we’ve been together the more this is bothering me. I wonder if I could find someone who appeals to me more, physically.
On the plus side, I like him a lot. He has good values, shares my religious faith, which is hard to find in another gay guy, is responsible and has a good work ethic. Also, I just have fun with him and he’s always interested to hear what’s on my mind. He’s an all-around decent guy.
As I’m writing this, I’m thinking that he seems great and that I’m a fool for even questioning our relationship. But all my friends are always talking about the amazing sex they are having, and then I think I’m missing out on a key part of life because my sex life is comparatively lackluster.
I don’t want to settle. But how likely am I to find another guy who is as all-around a good catch as Mark, but with more sexual chemistry?
Michael replies:
I don’t think the right approach is to wonder about your chances for of finding someone better. Anyone you find will have things you aren’t crazy about.
For example, you might find someone whom you’re wildly attracted to sexually, but they’ll bore you or annoy you, or have values you don’t respect.
I understand that you aren’t wildly sexually attracted to Mark. The truth is that it’s extremely unlikely that you would remain wildly sexually attracted to anyone for that long. People tend to get used to each other over time. Sex can remain great, but more from closeness and love than heat and sizzle.
I work with people all the time who wonder if there is someone “better” out there. And I tell them, they’re never going to get through all the possibilities before they die. Instead, how about thinking if the guy you are with is someone you’d like to go with on this journey through life?
Mark’s attributes that you mention sound wonderful to me. After more than 30 years working with folks on relationships, and being in my own 30+ year relationship, I have learned a thing or two about what creates a relationship that is satisfying and good. A decent, kind guy with admirable values is an excellent start.
The question is, can you live with your sex life not being on an orgasmically hot mind-blowing level? I hope the answer is yes, because sex with anyone you pick is not likely to stay in that sort of realm for long.
Another point to consider: I don’t think you should get too caught up in what your friends are telling you. They may be having amazing sex, but are they all having it with the same long-term partner? As I mentioned, long-term sex can be great, but the excitement tends to be replaced by caring connection over time.
I’ll generalize here for a moment: Because so many gay men have many sexual partners, the kind of sex you have with someone new, whom you’re tremendously attracted to, tends to be glorified among gay men as the gold standard of sex. But it’s not realistic for sex with a long-term partner.
This glorification is a big problem: It leaves gay men who are not having torrid sex with lots of guys feeling like there is something wrong with the sex they are having, that they are missing out on something super fantastic. Just like you are feeling.
If you want a lifetime of ongoing hot sex, I don’t think you should be looking for a relationship. If you are willing to accept sex being a not-always fantastic, but perhaps consistently loving, often good, and occasionally great part of life with a kind decent guy, then Mark might just be the right partner for you after all.
(Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C., Maryland, Virginia, New York, and all PSYPACT states. He can be found at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].)
