Living

A life in pictures

Rehoboth’s Tony Burns donates life’s work — 50,000 photos — to the community he loves

Published

14 years ago

May 20, 2010

Tony Burns with a few of the photo albums he donated to Camp Rehoboth's library. The collection spans 30 years in 70 albums and is comprised of more than 50,000 shots. (Photo by Murray Archibald; courtesy of Camp Rehoboth)

Tony Burns is a documenter and collector.

He has a mammoth music collection representing everything short of MP3s (he doesn’t do computers): 78s, 45s, CDs, 8 tracks and LPs. For 30 years he had two homes, one in Alexandria, Va., and another, where he now lives full-time, in Rehoboth Beach, Del. And there are two climate-controlled storage units.

But this isn’t a pack rat or hoarder-style compulsion — it’s all meticulously organized. It became a running joke with his friends when he downsized to one residence.

“People didn’t think I could do it,” Burns, who’s gay, says. “I took the furniture to a local auction. I mean if you can’t use it, you know. But there are 60 boxes of archives, all labeled, each with an index that went in the storage space, which is essentially the basement I don’t have for life. … And I’ve integrated some things here. I always like to think of myself as a historian and archivist but some might call me a pack rat. It just depends who’s doing the analyzing.”

Burns’ trademark, though, especially in Rehoboth, is his photography. He’s been shooting dinners and dances, protests and brunches — you name it — for 30 years. The Detroit native grew up with seven younger sisters and has spent decades taking shots of his siblings and 31 nieces and nephews. Though he spent his career working in Washington in the Department of Health and Human Services, photography was always his passion.

“All my life I’ve taken energy from interacting with people,” Burns says. “I guess it’s my love of history and archives and taking photographs really captures something that you can look back on and appreciate years later. And also I have found that people like to have remembrances of the different events that they participated in.”

Burns enjoys shocking people he bumps into at random and handing them photos out of a collection of about 600 shots he carts around with him. He always prints duplicates and tries to make sure everyone in his photos eventually gets a copy of his or her own.

“It’s fun surprising people. Almost like bird watching. You may not see somebody for several years and then all of a sudden you do. I don’t have a photographic memory, but I can remember the events people were at and even if I haven’t seen them for four or five years, I can pick out their photograph almost immediately.”

Steve Elkins, Camp Rehoboth’s executive director, says Burns’ memory is staggering.

“He always makes like six copies,” Elkins says. “One for his albums and one for everybody in the photo. And he just carries them around till he sees them. One of my first memories of him was in New York. I ran into him in Manhattan. He says, ‘Wait, I’ll be right back.’ He disappeared and came back with a photograph of me. He’s just got an encyclopedic memory for those things. He remembers everything. So and so lived in this house and he’s been with this person and his mother worked in the Clinton administration. It’s amazing.”

A reception in Burns’ honor will be held Saturday at Camp Rehoboth from 4 to 6 p.m. Burns has donated his vast photo collection — more than 50,000 photos in 70 leather albums — to the library at Camp Rehoboth. He donated money to have the library renovated and feels it’s an appropriate home for his shots, which have also run for years in Letters from Camp Rehoboth, the community center’s publication.

Each album is identified by month and the collection is arranged chronologically. Most of the events are from Washington or Rehoboth, but Burns has also shot in Baltimore, Philadelphia and New York over the years. They’re mostly gay events — Victory Fund brunches, Human Rights Campaign dinners, AIDS benefits and more — but Burns says the gay and straight communities are so merged in Rehoboth, he doesn’t make much of a distinction anymore.

Though he loves the D.C. area, he says Rehoboth is where he’s happiest. He says it’s become much more viable as a year-round community than when he first bought his beach house in 1977.

“It’s really the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow,” he says. “I think it’s the gay destination in the whole country.”

Burns, who’s had boyfriends at various times but is single now, avoided going digital for years but is now glad he did. He still doesn’t have a computer and prints out his digital photos in kiosks. He calls himself a “background person” and says that’s just where he’s happiest. He shuns social networking and had to be cajoled into agreeing to the reception.

“I just like to be in the background,” he says. “During my years in the Department, and I held some rather responsible positions, it just made me feel good to know I was enabling the secretary to look good and it’s just something I’ve always felt strongly about in my life. If you can contribute to somebody who really has talents to communicate with others in a much stronger fashion than you could yourself, I get satisfaction from that. And it’s always fun for there to be perhaps a little mystery. Today with Facebook and Twitter, it’s almost like ‘1984.’ You lose your mystique when your laundry is all there hanging out to dry.”

Reception for Tony Burns
Saturday, 4-6 p.m.
Camp Rehoboth Community Center
37 Baltimore Ave.
Rehoboth Beach, DE
camprehoboth.com

Advice

Should I divorce my husband for the hot new guy in our building?

Debating whether to leave or stay after the sex goes cold

Published

6 hours ago

April 26, 2024

Michael Radkowsky

Dear Michael,

I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and the sex is pretty much gone. It stopped being exciting a long time ago and pretty much the only time we ever do it is with the occasional third.

A really hot guy moved into our building about a year ago. We would see each other sometimes in the elevator or at our building’s gym and we started talking and really hit it off. Mark is 15 years younger than I but we seem to have a lot in common. We started hooking up and the sex is amazing.

I haven’t told my husband because it’s breaking our rule about no repeats. I have to say that the secrecy is hot. It’s kind of a thrill to take the elevator upstairs when I say I’m going on an errand. But it’s more than that. I have a connection with Mark that is far more amazing than what I have ever felt with my husband. Not just the sex. We just enjoy being together, talking about anything and everything.

My husband went to visit his family last weekend and I spent the whole time with Mark. Since then I can’t stop thinking that I want to leave my husband and be with Mark.

Part of me thinks this is a crazy mid-life crisis. I mean, this kid’s in a totally different place in life. But we have mind-blowing sex and a fantastic connection. I’d like your thoughts on how to proceed.

Michael replies:

You’ve got a lot to consider.

First: Sex with a long-term partner changes over time. It tends to be less about erotic heat and more about the connection with a person whom you love. In other words, it’s being with the person you’re with that makes the sex meaningful and even great. Having a good sexual relationship with a long-term partner comes far more from a heart connection than from a crotch attachment.

Second: You seem ready to throw your relationship under the bus pretty quickly, without addressing other problems in the relationship besides sex. When you are sneaking around, lying, and rule-breaking , I don’t see how you can look your husband in the eye; and if you can’t look him in the eye, you certainly can’t have even a half-way decent relationship.

Yet another point to consider: Affairs pretty much always seem more exciting than marriage. The partner is new, which almost automatically makes the sex hotter; the secrecy is a thrill; and you don’t have to deal with paying the rent, house chores, and all the petty annoyances of living up-close with someone day-in, day-out.

You are bringing lots of energy to your affair, and everything about it is exciting. You are bringing no energy — at least no positive energy — to your marriage. You get what you put into a relationship.

Divorce is not something that should be entered into lightly. Be aware that if you leave your husband for Mark, you will no doubt find over time that the sex becomes less exciting and that the connection is not always fantastic. No surprise, 75 percent of marriages that begin with affair partners end in divorce. While I don’t think statistics predict what will happen to any particular couple, believing that you will have a significantly better relationship with your affair partner than you did with your husband sets you up for likely disappointment.

Many gay men focus on “hot sex” as the big draw, pursuing a lot of sex with a lot of men, and/or pursuing an ongoing series of relationships that last until the sex cools. If that’s what you want, that’s fine. But it’s a different path from pursuing a close and loving long-term relationship, which involves knowing someone well and having him know you well; collaborating on getting through the hard stuff life throws at us; finding ways to make peace with disappointment; and consistently striving to be someone worth being married to.

How to proceed? While you are the only person who should make that decision, I would suggest that whatever your choice, keep in mind that marriage can be more than what you’ve made of it, so far.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].

Autos

Sport haulers: Jeep Grand Cherokee, Mercedes GLE-Class

Updated cabins, adept handling, and more

Published

6 days ago

April 20, 2024

Joe Phillips

Jeep Grand Cherokee

Now that March Madness and the Masters are over, it’s time for, well, everything else. For my husband and me, this means water sports, as in kayaks and rowing sculls, which is why we trekked to the Potomac for the George Washington Invitational regatta last weekend.

Alas, high winds splashed cold water on the event, canceling much of it. But there was still plenty of spirited camaraderie to rival “The Boys in the Boat.”

And I was reminded of my time years ago as a rower with D.C. Strokes, ferrying teammates to races up and down the East Coast. Back then my ride was a dated, rather cramped four-door sedan.

If only we could have paddled around in a sporty SUV like the two reviewed here. Now that would have been some smooth sailing (wink-wink).

JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE

$40,000

MPG: 19 city/26 highway

0 to 60 mph: 7.5 seconds

Maximum cargo room: 37.7 cu. ft.

PROS: Updated cabin, adept handling, strong towing

CONS: So-so gas mileage, no third row, pricey trim levels

IN A NUTSHELL: Rough, tough and buff. It’s doesn’t get much more butch than a Jeep. This year’s Grand Cherokee is no exception, with rugged looks, expert off-road capability and better-than-average towing capacity of 6,200 pounds.

There are a dizzying number of trim levels—more than a dozen—starting with the barebones base-model Laredo at an affordable $40,000. The lineup tops out with the Summit Reserve 4xe PHEV, which is almost twice the price at $76,000 and one of various plug-in hybrid versions available. Those plug-in hybrids can drive up to 25 miles on all-electric power before the four-cylinder gas engine kicks in. Otherwise, you can choose from a standard V6 or V8. Gas mileage on all trim levels is basically the same as the competition.

Where the Grand Cherokee really shines is in the handling. More refined than a Wrangler but less lavish than a Land Rover, this Jeep maneuvers just as well on city streets and highways as it does on bumpier terrain.

I tested the mid-range and mid-priced Overland, which comes standard with four-wheel drive and large 20-inch wheels. It also boasts a slew of niceties, such as quilted upholstery, panoramic sunroof and high-tech digital displays. These include a 10.25-inch infotainment touchscreen and rear-seat entertainment system.

The nine-speaker Alpine stereo, designed specifically for the Grand Cherokee, is pleasing. But I really wanted to hear the boffo 19-speaker McIntosh surround-sound system that Jeep also offers. Sigh, it’s only available on the premium Summit trim level.

MERCEDES GLE-CLASS

$64,000

MPG: 20 city/25 highway

0 to 60 mph: 6.6 seconds

Maximum cargo room: 33.3 cu. ft.

PROS: Lush interior, silky-smooth suspension, speedy

CONS: Some confusing electronics, tight third row, many competitors

IN A NUTSHELL: For a more high-class hauler, there’s the Mercedes GLE-Class. This midsize SUV is similar in size to the Jeep Grand Cherokee. But instead of seating five passengers, the GLE can carry up to seven. Sure, legroom in the optional third row may be tight for taller travelers, but it’s perfect for a cocky cockswain or two.

Six trim levels, ranging from the base-model GLE 350 to two high-performance AMG models. For eco-conscious buyers, the GLE 450e plug-in hybrid arrived earlier this year and can run on battery power alone for almost 60 miles.

My test car was the top-of-the-line AMG 63 S 4Matic, a head-turner in every way. Priced at a whopping $127,000, this GLE looks best in glossy black with the Night Package, which includes tasteful jet-black exterior accents and matte-black wheels. To complete the Darth Vader effect, there’s a deep, menacing exhaust rumble that’s downright threatening.

You expect such a ride to be wicked fast, and it is: 0 to 60 mph in a blistering 3.7 seconds. Yet the carbon ceramic brakes with their devil-red calipers are equally impressive in slowing things down quickly.

Inside, each GLE comes with two large digital displays on the elegantly sculpted dashboard. My favorite feature is the “Hey Mercedes” digital assistant, which responds to voice commands such as opening or closing the sunroof, operating the infotainment system or activating the climate controls.

It’s hard to find sport seats that are more comfortable, especially with the heavenly massage function (though those massage controls could be a bit more user-friendly.) For AMG models, the seats come with red-contrasting stitching and red seatbelts—a nod to the devilish demeanor under the hood.

Considering all the SUVs available in showrooms, few make quite the splash of a GLE.

Real Estate

Boosting your rental property’s curb appeal

Affordable upgrades to attract and keep tenants happy

Published

2 weeks ago

April 13, 2024

Scott Bloom

Spruce up your curb appeal with new plants and trees.

In the District of Columbia, the rental market tends to open up significantly during the springtime for several reasons. First, spring brings about a sense of renewal and change, prompting many individuals and families to seek new living arrangements or embark on relocations. Additionally, the warmer weather and longer daylight hours make it more conducive for people to explore housing options, attend viewings, and make decisions about moving. Furthermore, spring often coincides with the end of academic terms, leading to an influx of students and young professionals entering the rental market.

Landlords and property managers also tend to schedule lease renewals or list new vacancies during this time, capitalizing on the increased demand and ensuring a steady turnover of tenants. In the competitive world of rental properties, attracting and retaining quality tenants can be challenging. However, with some strategic upgrades, property owners can significantly enhance their units’ appeal without breaking the bank. From enhancing curb appeal to interior upgrades, here are some practical and cost-effective ideas to make your rental property stand out in the market.

Curb appeal

First impressions matter, and curb appeal plays a crucial role in attracting potential tenants. Simple enhancements like freshening up the exterior paint, adding potted plants or flowers, and ensuring a well-maintained lawn can instantly elevate the property’s appearance. Installing outdoor lighting not only adds charm but also enhances safety and security.

Interior upgrades

Upgrade the kitchen and bathroom fixtures to modern, energy-efficient options. Consider replacing outdated appliances with newer models, which not only appeal to tenants but also contribute to energy savings. Fresh paint and updated flooring can transform the look of a space without a hefty investment. Additionally, replacing worn-out carpets with hardwood or laminate flooring can make the unit more attractive and easier to maintain.

Enhance storage

Maximize storage options by installing built-in shelves, cabinets, or closet organizers. Tenants appreciate ample storage space to keep their belongings organized, contributing to a clutter-free living environment.

Improve lighting

Brighten up the interiors by adding more lighting fixtures or replacing old bulbs with energy-efficient LED lights. Well-lit spaces appear more inviting and spacious, enhancing the overall ambiance of the rental unit.

Upgrade window treatments

Replace outdated curtains or blinds with modern window treatments that allow natural light to filter in while offering privacy. Opt for neutral colors and versatile styles that appeal to a wide range of tastes.

Focus on security

Invest in security features such as deadbolts, window locks, and a reliable alarm system to ensure the safety of your tenants. Feeling secure in their home is a top priority for renters, and these upgrades can provide meaningful, genuine peace of mind.

Enhance outdoor spaces

If your rental property includes outdoor areas like a patio or balcony, consider sprucing them up with comfortable seating, outdoor rugs, and potted plants. Creating inviting outdoor spaces expands the living area and adds value to the rental property.

As landlords, investing in the enhancement of your rental properties is not merely about improving aesthetics; it’s about investing in the satisfaction and well-being of your tenants, and ultimately, in the success of your investment. By implementing these practical and affordable upgrades, you’re not only increasing the desirability of your units but also demonstrating your commitment to providing a high-quality living experience.

These efforts translate into higher tenant retention rates, reduced vacancy periods, and ultimately, a healthier bottom line. Moreover, by prioritizing the comfort, safety, and happiness of your tenants, you’re fostering a sense of community and trust that can lead to long-term relationships and positive referrals. So, let’s embark on this journey of transformation together, turning rental properties into cherished homes and landlords into valued partners in creating exceptional living spaces.

Scott Bloom is owner and Senior Property Manager of Columbia Property Management. For more information and resources, visit ColumbiaPM.com.