Opinions
Coming out in Mexico
Two families handle their gay sons very differently
By TERRY DODDS
This is the first time I am writing for the Blade, but I hope not the last. I was born in Mexico City, but I am now an American citizen.
Mexico is generally a very Catholic country. I am going to tell you two different histories and the very different reactions from two families about the reactions when their respective sons told the parents that they were gay.
Story No. 1: In Mexico, there is a big population of originally Spanish people who came to Mexico during the civil war in Spain. Mexico happily opened their arms to them. Those families generally speaking keep stronger Old Spanish traditions, in fact, much more so, than the Spanish people that live in Spain.
One of these families has a son who, for the purpose of this story, will be named Ernest. Ernest was a very cute and studious son who earned a Ph.D. He, like most of these Spanish-rooted children do, was still living at home and had a girlfriend. Their wedding day was three months away.
Given the kind of people they were — and the time, around 1975 — this couple had never slept together, and they would have gone that way until the wedding day. Obviously the girlfriend felt that something was not right in this regard, because she told him: “Ernest I am not marrying you, if we don’t have sex before our wedding.”
Ernest did try, but he couldn’t do it. He just didn’t feel the appetite for it. So the girlfriend broke off the engagement. He wasn’t disappointed.
The parents were very sorry about the marriage being off and kept telling him to be patient, that she will be back soon. He began to go out with other friends; his parents didn’t know what he was doing.
One Friday night as he came home late, he found his mother in an ocean of tears, she could hardly speak. She said, “Oh Ernest people are so evil, you are never going to believe this, a person called me tonight and told me that you are gay and that is also the reason why your girlfriend wants nothing to do with you anymore. Also they told me that you have man lovers, and we as your parents are the only people that don’t know about all this.”
Ernest, saw this as the golden opportunity, that he had been long looking for, so he told his mother: “Mom, I am so sorry, that people have upset you, but I might as well tell you, that it is true, there is nothing I can do about it, also there is nothing wrong with it, people are just different, I am also a mature man, so this is my opportunity to tell you that I am going to move out of this house and live on my own.” He then left the room. The mother cried even harder.
The next morning he came down later than usual and found his father reading the newspaper, the father spoke first. He told him, “Son, I know about the conversation you and your mother had last night. Let me tell you, right or wrong, heterosexual or homosexual, you are my son and I love you. I don’t understand this, but I will respect you, you can live here with us as long as you want or leave this is up to you, this will always be your house, we will always be your loving parents and the doors are always open for you.”
Without too much transition he asked him: “What do you want for breakfast?”
The second story involves a Mexican family with four boys and two girls. One of the sons we’ll call Oscar. He was a very neat and hard working man. He never had a girlfriend, but nobody in the family ever suspected (or if they did, they never vocalized the idea, that he might be gay).
On his 45th birthday, he decided to tell his mother that he was gay, hoping for understanding and respect. When he told his mother, first she cried, then she asked him to go with her to see a doctor, to check what was wrong with him. He tried to explain that there is nothing wrong with hime. He just was gay and there are millions like him.
However he had given his word so he went with his mother to the doctor. The doctor explained that it was not a temporary condition, he was born gay, he was gay and he was going to be gay for the rest of his life. There was no medicine or treatment that could change that. Oscar felt he had at least kept his promise to his mother.
She asked him to please, please, not to tell anyone in the family, specially his father because this will surely kill him. Oscar’s father was not going to be able to live with that shame and embarrassment.
The following week the mother appeared in front of the whole family with a scapular and a habit. (A scapular is two hanging shapes, with a cord holding them together in a way that they can hang around your neck, showing one at the front and one at the back. They both have the same religious image. The habit is like the gown that some monks use, but in this case you dress as a particular saint that you want to honor.)
This is almost like paying forward, by dressing this way — you are requesting a favor from the Saint: I dress and advertise you and I want you to grant me a wish. The mother stated to the whole family that she was asking for a “very special miracle” that she desperately needed. That was the reason for this display.
Even when the rest of the family knew about the “catastrophe,” all the brothers and sisters were OK about it. The father was never told and he either didn’t know or pretended not to know. The siblings never let on to the family that they knew about it. It was a real demonstration of family hypocrisy and ignorance.
Opinions
Solidarity beyond the parade: the actual cost of Pride
Chandreyi Guharay spoke with activists at World Pride in Amsterdam
Editor’s note: Chandreyi Guharay is the global advocacy officer for Walking the Talk. She spoke with queer activists from around the world at World Pride 2026 in Amsterdam about the impact of shrinking aid.
Queer activists and Dutch NGOs gathered at Amsterdam City Hall as part of “Building Bridges,” a World Pride 2026 visitor program for LGBTIQ+ community leaders run by the Dutch Ministry of Foreign Affairs and COC Nederland.
Pride is every day, everywhere
Although we were in Amsterdam, the work back home never stops for activists. Enkhmaa Enkhbold, executive director of the LGBT Center in Mongolia, excused themself a couple of times to check their phone.
“We’re organizing Pride in Mongolia, and it’s happening in two weeks,” they explained.
Among many other things, their organization drives policy advocacy and movement building for LGBTIQ+ rights, and helps queer people facing persecution find a safe way out.
John Mathenge Mukaburu is also doing the daily work of resistance. His organization HOYMAS in Kenya runs clinics across three counties, serving almost 20,000 patients from key populations, including gay and bisexual men and sex workers. In Nigeria, Cosmas Osinachi Ihenacho-Herbert, program director at Obodo, shared how they are changing the narrative by elevating the leading role queer people play in shaping art and culture across the country and the African continent.
And in Vietnam, Nguyễn Diệu Anh co-founded Yêu-nữ (Women Living Wicked), a sapphic collective that hosts regular gatherings where women have a place to find joy and each other. Whether it’s healthcare, protection, culture or belonging, these efforts keep communities alive. Still, they have never been properly funded.
Less funding, more backlash
As an advocate for gender equality and a queer activist myself, I know how much LGBTIQ+ movements do with so little. Even before the dismantling of the U.S. Agency for International Development and the funding cuts across other major donor countries, just $.04 cents of every $100 in Official Development Assistance (ODA) went to queer communities. Now even that is rapidly disappearing. And what little there is doesn’t land evenly. As trans activist Marcela Morales from Asociación Lambda in Guatemala emphasized: “Most of the funding goes to gay men’s and trans women’s organizations. Very little reaches organizations of trans men and LBQ women.”
But this isn’t just about money. The same politics driving these cuts are shrinking civic space everywhere. Anti-rights actors are growing richer and bolder, finding new ways to target LGBTIQ+ people, as my colleague Jordan Dittmar has written. Queer and feminist activists defend the right to protest, to speak and love freely, to put care for people and the planet at the center and to decide over our own bodies and lives. And yet our rights are always the easiest target, and our funding the first to be cut. We are the canary in the coal mine, and everyone else’s freedoms are never far behind. That should worry all of us.
A lifeline built on solidarity
Bessy Ferrera was a trans activist from Honduras who fought for the rights of trans people, sex workers and people living with HIV, and whose life was violently cut short in 2019. A year later, Hivos established the Bessy Ferrera Emergency Fund in her name. It offers fast, practical help to LGBTIQ+ activists facing threats because of their work, from medical and legal costs to security and relocation. Since 2022, it has helped nearly 100 people and organizations around the world.
When I mentioned the fund to Ribal Maatouk, national chairperson of the LGBTIQ+ Task Force in Lebanon, he told me he already knew it well. Through Israel’s devastating invasion and war, the Task Force, alongside its member organizations, notably specialized local LGBTIQ+ CSOs, have continued to provide humanitarian support to queer people.
“From all the funding initiatives, the Bessy Ferrera Fund was the most easily accessible for our community, allowing for a faster deployment of emergency support than other organizations,” he said. “I need to give credit where it’s due.”
Hope for the long haul
Emergency funds provide a vital lifeline during a crisis, but activists and their movements also need lasting support. For Cosmas, the lesson is hopeful: governments change with elections, and funding changes with them, but movements can outlast both. For activists in the Global South, that has often been the reality.
“Maybe the question is not how we survive this crisis,” he said, “But how we build a movement infrastructure that’s strong enough for us to thrive through whatever comes next.”
He also sees an opening: with the U.S. stepping back, the Netherlands could once again be the champion of gender equality and LGBTIQ+ rights it used to be. With a new Dutch government in place, there are signs of greater political will, and now is the moment to turn it into funding.
What comes after the parade
The activists I met have been holding their communities together, standing alongside feminist and queer movements everywhere to defend rights and freedoms for all. As we often say in the gender equality movement, imagine what they could do with the right support. Solidarity beyond the parade means that governments, funders and allies invest in queer aspirations.
Chandreyi Guharay is a Nicaraguan-Indian gender justice specialist by training, and — in Sara Ahmed’s words — a feminist killjoy by political choice. She’s the Global Advocacy Officer at Walking the Talk/Hivos, weaving together strategic advocacy, policy analysis and coalition-building for gender equality financing. She’s previously worked with Oxfam, Plan International, She Decides, CIVICUS, and Share-Net on research, organizational development and political education. Outside of work, you’ll find her co-conspiring with Feministas en Holanda, a decolonial grassroots collective of Latin American people in the Netherlands, where she is a community organizer around anti-racist and migrant justice struggles.
Opinions
Trump, Netanyahu, and Putin are all war criminals
We are living in a world of chaos as a result
Today there are war criminals leading three major governments. President Trump here in the United States, Benjamin Netanyahu in Israel, and Vladimir Putin in Russia. The world would be a better place if they were thrown into a jail cell together, and the key tossed away.
We are living in a world of chaos. Although these three are not responsible for all of it, they have a major role. All three are carrying out wars that they can’t win. Wars that should have never been started. In the process they are not only killing their stated enemies, but they’re also causing the deaths of their own people.
Here in the United States, we have a felon in the White House, who has done nothing but create chaos in the world since he took office. He has broken every promise he made to get elected, and while many of us knew they were all lies, he won anyway. He promised lower rents, lower mortgage rates, lower inflation, lower gas prices, lower grocery prices, and importantly, no new wars. He has accomplished the exact opposite in each of those areas. He began a war with Iran and started by bombing a school, mistake or not, killing innocent children. This after declaring war on immigrants here at home using his ICE Gestapo. He apparently thinks if he creates chaos, and then gets things back to close to where they were before he acted, he can claim victory. But even that seems out of his reach.
Then there is Prime Minister Netanyahu in Israel. His actions have made things worse not only for his enemies, but for Israelis at home, and Jews around the world. He began a war against Iran that he can’t win. He has committed war crimes against the Palestinian people in Gaza, and the West Bank, and by his actions brought out more anti-Semitism around the world. For me personally, he has made it more difficult to explain to people when I say I am a Zionist, it means I support the existence of the State of Israel, not its war criminal leader, and his government. He should have heeded what President Biden said to him after the Oct. 7 attack on Israel by Hamas. While retribution and getting back the hostages Hamas took was crucial, Biden counseled not to go overboard in response, like the United States did after 9/11. Instead, Netanyahu has killed thousands of Palestinian women and children, and has not made Israel much safer. He then began the war with Iran, and sent troops to fight in Lebanon. Yes, the Iranian government funds Hezbollah and Hamas, but one must ask if anything is better after Netanyahu’s actions. Israelis continue living in a state of active war.
Then there is Putin in Russia. He believed he could attack Ukraine and walk away with pieces of their country, maybe even all of it. Instead, he has Russia embroiled in a four-year war, killing thousands of Ukrainians, including many women and children, destroying parts of their country, and losing thousands of his own troops in a war he can’t win. His own people are suffering, and now, four years later, Ukraine has shown it still has the ability to attack Moscow. All three of these men have managed to show the weaknesses of their own countries.
In his effort to bluster through his many failures, Trump has destroyed relationships with our allies. It will take years, if ever, for them to trust the United States again. He invaded Venezuela and stole their oil, is starving Cuba, and created unease with Canada and Mexico on our own borders. He thinks this makes him look like a strongman, when it really shows all of his weaknesses. People should remember the treaty he abrogated with Canada and Mexico, was one he negotiated in his first term. Now he invites Chinese President, Xi, to the United States, and gives him the same red-carpet welcome he previously gave to Putin in Alaska, and in both cases, received nothing in return. He tries to keep the press he doesn’t like from having access to him.
All three are facing crucial elections that could severely impact their futures. Only Putin, a true dictator, is assured of winning because he controls the process. Trump is trying to emulate him, to keep from losing the Nov. 3, mid-term elections. Thankfully the courts are trying to stop him. Netanyahu could face being thrown out on Oct. 27, if Israelis do the right thing.
Again, I truly believe putting the three of them in a jail cell together would make our troubled world a little safer, and a much better place.
Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist.
Commentary
Center Arts Gallery celebrates 10 years with reception, auction
Oct. 17 fundraiser to feature jazz combo, artwork created on site
Ten years ago, I had a vision: to create a dedicated space within The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center for local LGBTQ+ artists to share their creativity in a community space conceived specifically for them. That vision became the Center Arts Gallery. Over the past decade, the Center Arts Gallery has grown into a true home for our LGBTQ+ siblings, a place illuminating our joy, resistance, and resilience through the power of art.
Art is so much more than decoration. It can be a powerful protest, a keeper of memories, a testament to survival, and a vivid reminder that our lived experiences deserve to be seen, heard, and deeply valued. When we created the Center Arts Gallery, our goal was to remove barriers so that queer artists could feel welcomed, supported, and completely free to express themselves. Now, as we mark the incredible 10th anniversary of Center Arts, love truly comes full circle as many of those same amazing artists and creatives are giving back by donating their artwork for a special benefit auction.
On Saturday, Oct. 17, 2026, The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center will host our annual Fall Reception and Art Auction, celebrating 10 years of Center Arts Gallery at 1827 Wiltberger St., N.W., with an ambitious fundraising target of $25,000.
Appropriately themed “The Art of Belonging,” this milestone celebration will bring our community together with intention, uniting multiple forms of local queer creativity under one roof. The evening promises to be an unforgettable experience.
We are thrilled to have the celebration hosted by award-winning spoken word artist, poet, and educator Charity Blackwell. Attendees will enjoy smooth jazz selections performed by 2nd Independence — a jazz combo from the DC Different Drummers — alongside delicious heavy hors d’oeuvres provided by Shaw Tavern and exquisite dessert offerings by celebrity chef Patrick Vanas.
Throughout the night artwork will be created live on site, joining the online pieces generously donated by local artists.
Most importantly, every dollar raised during the reception and auction goes directly toward sustaining The DC Center’s life-affirming programs and supportive services. From food assistance providing nourishing meals, the free food pantry, and behavioral health counseling, to trauma-informed case management, resource navigation, HIV/STI testing, and essential hygiene services like showers, laundry, and a clothing boutique, our doors remain open because
of community support. These funds also support our cyber lounge, mail and locker services, harm reduction supplies, and critical wellness programs.
To ensure that everyone in our community can fully participate, ASL interpretation will be provided during the event program. We offer flexible ways to join us: General Admission is free (currently at capacity), with custom signature cocktails, wine, and beer available for purchase.
For those looking for an elevated evening, our $75 VIP Experience includes early admission at 6 p.m., early online auction access, complimentary Champagne (6-7 p.m.), an intimate opportunity to mingle with participating artists, a special swag bag, plus an open beer and wine bar throughout the entire evening.
For 10 years, Center Arts Gallery has shown us that belonging is an art form we create together. As we look back on a decade of community and look forward to the future, I invite you to join us, support local queer artists, and invest in the essential programs that keep our community thriving. Let’s come together to ensure that The DC Center can continue to educate, empower, uplift, and connect us all for generations to come.
Kimberley Bush is executive director of The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center.
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